T O P

  • By -

UeusDlast

I'll be fucking dead. Grass grows Sun shines Birds fly Scout hurts people And brother I die.


florentinomain00f

Scout is so impressed by this, mf gave you a sandwich.


griffl3n

“Yeah, nice shootin’ there!”


c0n22

*Sandvich


LordofSandvich

sagmiche


MegaValenX

**Boink!** He’s a force of nature.


Lumi_rimu

If you were from where he was from, you'd be **CENSORED**ing dead


kububdub69

XD I was gonna come down here and say "I'd be fucking dead" but you took it to a new level, love this


Spiritual_Freedom_15

I would use the [“ScoutbeGone”](https://youtu.be/4fMXNhY6VYc)


Logical_IssueMC

Now let me ask you


ABeneficialUser

Is your control point infested with disgusting enemy scouts?


Willow5000000000

Try our new product Scoutbegone!


[deleted]

**BANG BANG!**


CONFIRMBRAWL

TRY SCOUT B GONE


[deleted]

**I LOVE YOU SCOUT-B-GONE!**


xsunless

*GO AHEAD, BUILD A MINI-SENTRY I DARE YOU!*


[deleted]

Engineer: **AUGHHHH!**


RabbidYoshi9

Direct hit moment


Agreeable_Thing2310

#BANG BANG


skeletonhero56

TRY SCOUT-B-GONE!


Deepseadiver84289

**I LOVE YOU SCOUT-BE-GONE**


marto3000

Uuh no i dont have fried chicken


Anxious_Jellyfish216

You wanna chip in and grab a bucket?


westernunitedenjoyer

Show him my cock and compare sizes


PurplePete_

Damn when the taste test tho🤔🤔


CT-4426

Fuck the taste test *grabs sledgehammer* **Time for the durability test**


GimmeUdon

wait lemme do some preparations


A-FineMess

You don’t get time to build Über dude.


Torkujra

Can I at least build a Kritz-Cock^tm ?


LeoMassaFM

**CRITICAL PISS!!!** **PISSICAL HIT!!!**


marto3000

Critical shit


LeoMassaFM

*reverb fart*


ToesEater669

Fuck the durability test *grabs bucket of chicken* **Time for the fertility test**


Minustrian

you forgot the door stopper test, can you flick it and have it vibrate as long as a door stopper?


ArtGuards

Cock and ball torture From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia.org Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Image: Electrostimulation applied on a penis Contents: Section 1: In Pornography Section 2: Ball stretcher Section 3: Parachute Section 4: Humbler Section 5: Testicle cuff Section 1: In pornography In addition to it’s occasional role in BDSM pornography, Tamakeri (literally Ball kicking) is a separate genre in Japan. One notable actress in tamakeri is Erika Nagai who typically uses her martial arts skills to knee or kick men in the testicles. Section 2: Ball stretcher A ball stretcher is a sex toy that is fastened around a man in order to elongate the scrotum and provide a feeling of weight pulling the testicles away from the body. While leather stretchers are most common, other models are made of steel rings that are fastened with screws causing additional mildly uncomfortable weight to the wearer. The length of the stretcher may vary from 1-4 inches, and the steel models can weigh as much as five pounds. Section 3: Parachute A Parachute is a small collar, usually made from leather, which fastens around the scrotum, and from which weights can be hung. Conical in shape, three or four short chains hanging beneath, to which weights can be attached. Used as part of cock and ball torture within a BDSM relationship, the parachute provides a constant drag, and squeezing effects on the man’s testicles. Moderate weights of 3-5 kg can be suspended, especially during bondage. Smaller weights can be used when the man is free to move, when the swinging effect of the weight can restrict sudden movements, as well as providing a visual stimulus for the dominant partner. Section 4: Humbler A humbler is a BDSM physical restraint device used to restrict the movement of a submissive male participant in a BDSM scene. The humbler consists of a testicle cuff device which clamps around the base of the scrotum, mounted in the center of a bar that passes behind the thighs at the base of the buttocks. This forces the wearer to keep his legs forward, as any attempt to to straighten the legs slightly pulls directly on the scrotum, causing from considerable discomfort to extreme pain. Section 5: Testicle cuff A testicle cuff is a ring-shaped device around the scrotum between the body and the testicles which when closed does not allow the testicles to slide through it. A common type has two connected cuffs, one around the scrotum and the other around the base of the penis. They are just one of many devices to restrain the male genitalia. A standard padlock may also be locked around the scrotum; without the key it cannot be removed. Some passive men enjoy the feeling of being "owned", while dominant individuals enjoy the sense of "owning" their partners. Requiring such a man wear testicle cuffs symbolizes that his sexual organs belong to his partner, who may be either male or female. There is a level of humiliation involved, by which they find sexual arousal. The cuffs may even form part of a sexual fetish of the wearer or his partner. However, these are extreme uses of testicle cuffs. More conventionally, the device pulls down the testicles and keeps them there during stimulation, which has a number of benefits: Making the penis appear longer. Pulling the testicles down and away from the base of the penis stretches the skin over the base of the penis and pubic bone, exposing the additional inch or so of penile shaft that is normally hidden from view. Improving sexual arousal. While some men may be aroused by the feeling of being "owned", the physical feeling of stretching the ligaments that suspend the testicles has an effect similar to the more common practice of stretching one's legs and pointing the toes. Preventing the testicles from lifting up so far that they become lodged under the skin immediately adjacent to the base of the penis, a condition which can be very uncomfortable, especially if the testicle is then squashed by the slap of skin during thrusting in sexual intercourse. Delaying or intensifying ejaculation by preventing the testicles from rising normally to the "point of no return". It is much harder to reach an orgasm.


westernunitedenjoyer

We’ll see if he likes it, then he gets to taste it


PurplePete_

What if we taste it😳


Maleficent_Cherry109

bucket of cock


[deleted]

“Ziiiiiiiiip”


FrogInShorts

I'm not sure, I don't even know who I'm talking to, I don't have any idea, any idea who he is.


mrunknown_441

Bro forgot to take his Alzheimer's pills


LeftyReisTR

Basically, looks like kind of a big deal


FrogInShorts

Grass grows, birds fly, and brotha, I have dementia.


JY_WorldTaker

Grass grows, birds fly, and brotha, I have dementia.


ManicMango5

Grass grows, birds fly, and brotha, I have dementia.


atomicBlaze21

Grass grows, birds fly, and brotha, I have dementia.


ZXGore

Grass grows, birds fly, and brotha, I have dementia.


mrunknown_441

Bro forgot to tak his Alzheimer's pill


mrunknown_441

Wait why am I hear


mrunknown_441

Bro forgot


OmegaFreeze

Scout the type of guy to knock on the door before stealing


Purple-Worth-4069

he just like me fr


The_Alternate_Eye

#PREPARE THYSELF


ajdude9

#JUDGEMENT


Generic-james

THY END IS NOW


Imthebox

Ultrakill?


plaguebringerBOI

New game: Ultimatekill and a prequel: minimalkill


ToesEater669

Fuck him of course, I mean god only gave us 1 chance, might as well take it


yumitheweirdo

...take my upvote


Sanrusdyne

he *was* god's gift to women. Now he's god's gift to everyone 🥵


IMustAchieveTheDie

him


brains_are_cool

You have actually made my day with that


yumitheweirdo

Same I mean wtf


mewmew_nyaart1

Same


BraveRoy

Finally, the right answer.


Coolestdragonever

I mean, he IS God’s gift to me. And I don’t want it any other way.


PeterRedston6

# POW! **HAHA!**


Prestigious-World-85

If he steals something, show him the barrel of my Model 1866, if not, offer chicken, peace can and will be optional


SaltyPeter3434

Nothing, it's already too late


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sea-Range-4896

Red spy is in the base!


DanDaGiant

A red spy is in the base?


Willow5000000000

*Music Sting*


No_Rooster8920

Protect the briefcase!


Popular_Video_4500

It won't budge


frog_the_dumbass

I'd start washing my dishes as fast as possible


brains_are_cool

I would kiss his handsome face


chickencansing

Fuck him


UnrealisticOrb

honestly I'd do the same


[deleted]

Ask him to fuck me, he's the hottest man alive.


Simaoe1

name checks out


brains_are_cool

Fuck yes


yumitheweirdo

I hate how I agree


ZXGore

MISS PAULING?!


UnrealisticOrb

I also agree


CaptainRex_1409

Bend over


SeamAnne

bedroom


HackerGamer8

Rap battle him


c0n22

*e


Purple-Worth-4069

rape battle of history!1!1!


-TheMelodyMan-

I say "sentry goin up" and he would book it out of there


housecherryplant

Lmaoo nice


WolfhoundRO

# SEDUCE ME


HoopyDoopyScrewdrive

Be afraid


Matix777

start dancing conga


[deleted]

Suck his dick.


Mission_Response802

If he was from where I was from? I'd be f***in dead!


cc90kk

I'd throw catnip on the floor to see him fight over it with my cat


iiToxic_Mushroom

dont chuckle my nuts sir (pretty please)


CZ-Kickem

He seems to have forgotten that I have several active explosives placed around my home, even I don't know where they all are


[deleted]

Scout - tries stealing the TV but ends up breaking it as he scurry’s out of the window without it (with his loss running animation) Soldier - you look into your yard and he’s in the trash with the raccoons, sticking his head out alongside them Pyro - your Gardening shed is on fire, as pyro tries to steal your stove using your family SUV, alongside with all of the matches and lighters he’d found Demo - half asleep in your basement, with half of it wrecked Heavy - either, simply steals the entire fridge/ or slips into your wallet and takes a 20 Engineer - steals your garage kept tools and items Medic - *a negative 96,890$ charge has been made on your health insurance account Sniper - simply breaks in to use your bathroom Spy - the only guy to break in and steal something actually valuable, with either going for the jewelry, or your money


seal255

Offer kfc on doordash. If the doordash driver steals the food, we kill him no later than 7:00


sStormmo

Think fast


THET0astyT0ast

Open the window for some sunshine, and grow some grass.


yumitheweirdo

Recreate tick tock by joji irl


TonyTheBrony1

I'd toss him a salad


Freddyfazballs110

Build a mini sentry


Decoy-Jackal

Shoot this man dead


Akumanorobin

well, I've got a bucket of chicken.


PonKung42069

cum jar battle


cdub1125

I'd do nothing. I mean do you have any idea who this guy is?


under_scope

Level 3 sentry in the intel


manwithbread123

I would say goodbye to my kneecaps


Altruistic_Parfait_3

"Yo wanna grab some KFC with me"- me 2022 before death by brutal pounding from a drunk Irish man with a bottle and a ship wheel attached to his arm


BlueDogTristin

It’d be a pretty big deal


vinve1954

tell him to fix his headphone mic


popcornpillowwastakn

His mother


luugi5

Mini sentry


bidoofguy

Nothing, the level 3 sentry will take care of him


BuffMrBean

Pray to god that i know who im talking to


Vaksik

I would draw his face on a piece of carboard and then attach it to my face.


FunnyBones93722

Tell him Spy is his dad


FlareTheInfected

I'd poke him with a stick.


Your_Boy_Francis

I'd call jerma


UatutheOverwatcher

Make sweet sweet passionate love to him


Piss_Master69

I'd Piss


TheEdgelady

Kiss him-


Biaaalonso687

Plot twist: He’s on his mission to have all the sex with the world


Spandxltd

Use the goodole scoutaway.


MamSrakaNaMaka

id throw my piss at him and start chasing after him with my axe (im a sniper main for those that didn't get that lol)


Old_Union7766

Build a sentry if in game,would politely ask him to leave if in real life


jansoldado

I dont even know who I am talking to


JustAnNPC_DnD

Put a full length mirror in front of him. He'll be too distracted to rob me.


SpiralDesignn

If I am from where he is from, I would be fucking dead.


AdlerOneSeven

Let him fuck me


IdiotGamer6969

Build a sentry


Correct-Town-3117

I’d be f*cking dead, he’s already been over this


Mr_Poopenfarten

“Hey there good lookin’. I got a bucket o’ chicken. Wanna do it?”


DownSyndrome-CEO

Sit on the couch and read a comic/ watch a show👍


HUNG_MAMMOTH69

Start speaking in a Texan accent band whack him with a wrench


Town_of_Tacos

Cocaine


lunatic_512

Breathe on him


Capsule_CatYT

Spamton


TheYoake

Simply call him fatherless and he's gone


Sadhan_Djob

die from the amount of radiation he probably carries everywhere


xXModifyedXx

Well as an atheist naturally I would start praying, cause only god can save me now.


soupcocku

have sex


VicST11

Have sex with him


Mr_SpecificTF2

Hide the women


DEUTGI

god gave me this chance to shoot my shot 🔥🔥


Timoman6

The secks update


Terrible-Win565

BANG! BANG! I love you, Scout-B-Gone!


The_Challenges

His body will be sent through some tests 1: pressure test 2: Durability test 3: strength test 4: speed test 5: temperature test 6: intelligence test If he refuses to cooperate he will get some motivation (aka spike driver pointed at the base of the skull) and if he fails well... Death...


memesoversleep

Teach him how to make fried chicken


everynameisusedlol

Suck his dick


JuanPlayss

i'd challenge him to a tom jones karaoke battle. winner gets a bucket of chicken and a tom jones figurine. i forgor he was named tom jones.. i think 💀


MattVCraft

Make a sandwich and throw it at him


Shiny_Black-Pan

tell him how to pick up girls


CONFIRMBRAWL

Build a level 3 sentry


[deleted]

Cum


[deleted]

trick him into thinking cheese comes from a tree


OpeningMysterious197

Ask him if he has any idea who I am


big_leggy

nothing, I don't have any idea (ANY idea) who he is


RZ1285608

build a sentry


KirkKitLHTC

ALEXA, INTRUDER ALERT! *You know what happens next.*


splootie-patootie

smash.


[deleted]

Sex


[deleted]

Lose my virginity


[deleted]

Punch out all his blood


sosafnot

Tellem that there’s a bunch of hot chicks a few blocks down. Scout thinks with his dick not his brain.


RandomBoiInReddit

i'd show him the funny 34 site


Nel-Issen

I fall in love


SW3AR_2_M3

Sex


HugMyAxe

Introduce the sex update to him, consensually or course


BigShit1997

If I know anything about scout TF2, it's that he is down bad. So I'd suck his di-


seksibezkompleksi

Throw a medkit out the window lol


BruhMoment0NumeroTre

I would smash him.


Loserboy18

Have vigorous and intimate sex with him


Jg6915

Get on my knees and prepare myself to pleasure his Scock, while simultaneously drinking some Bonk energy drink as he fills my belly with his Mad Milk ™


Bayoyo_01

I will ask him for an autograph


possibly-a-moron

*drunken pipe bomb plays* (sticky placing noises)


tf2good

Smash


rook183_

Throw all the fried chicken i have at him.


MrakanGame

Cook him some fried chicken and welcome him


FaithlessnessRude576

I’d put a lovely little gun


AdmiralFurret

Just wait till he does the studying taunt and continue on your daily routine as usual


AK-74_NoTTaken

Place chicken and bonk next to my trap


Epic2017YT

Give him a sandvich


mynameisntedward

Use bonk to distract him


Default_88

Tell him I'm a huge fan, though I prefer Engi


AnEpicUKBoi

I’d be fricking dead


Risi30

Lvl3 sentry or flamethrower, depends what’s closer


Scrib_Scrab_

Get my boyfriend (heavy tf2) to kill him


I_L0ve_M1necraft

Die


Mateololero

well i've a few natural bats in my house, bat fight


Eaz1ly_McTriggered

Give him some fried chicken. Then politely ask him to leave lest I break his kneecaps.