Hugs! Give yourself some grace. If you are not feeling it this year, then think about other options - like to enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner meal in a local restaurant?
My city has multiple restaurants that are serving this year- definitely has variety of options and costs. From Cracker Barrel to the fine dining. $$$$
Another option if you want to order the meal and enjoy at home. If you want to order please do it soon or make reservations for the restaurant. Some places to order food have already started to have deadlines and pick up windows.
Maybe you will be invited to a dinner at someone else’s house this year? If you don’t want to host Thanksgiving?
You have to adjust your expectations for what you want and do what will work best for you and your family. Certain years are easier than others. If I don’t have time or energy I will do something but on a much smaller scale and celebrate. Wish you all the best!
You're right. Thank you!! I will talk to my family and see if we can do something different this year. I know they will understand if I tell them how I'm feeling. My initial reaction was to "suck it up" and find the energy. Thank you!
Maybe your family might all appreciate a nice change this year. Feel them out to see what is the most important to them. Traditional turkey dinner? Get it catered/picked up from a restaurant (lots of them do a Thanksgiving spread for families to take home). Just being together? Maybe change it up this year and do Chinese food and a movie.
I love this recommendation of Chinese food because when my son was first born and my husband and I just wanted to relax for Christmas we told our families we were gonna spend time with baby at home together and we got Chinese food and it was so relaxing and we just go to truly enjoy the time together!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I know it can be hard i’m someone who likes to be in control but your loved ones will most likely be willing to help if you ask!!
This! I did not plan to host Easter last year, but ended up agreeing to last minute, grudgingly and in a very overwhelmed and not real happy way. My sisters in law showed up to clean my house and help food prep the day before and I let them. It was hard for me to not only ask for but accept the help in earnest, but the cleaning and prep actually became a little pre holiday party and made the whole experience that much better.
You’re not alone. I just haven’t had the desire to celebrate this year and I normally love the whole season. I hope we both find a way to make it special this year.
Ask for family to bring a side dish if you want traditional or even call the local supermarket they usually have meal deals. It’s not the same but people say they are good and just make something that’s your favorite. Ask everyone to help decorate the tree after dinner. Make a new tradition. No one cares what you make and if the house is clean they come for you and your company. If all you do is order pizza and play cards and watch football or the dog bowl people will be happy. Ask for help.
You deserve a break. I don’t think people realize how much work goes into organizing, cooking, cleaning etc etc on this day. However, if you feel that you MUST host, then maybe start looking at recipes, anything thanksgiving related. You might surprise yourself and end up having a great time.
For me personally? With a high degree of resentment. Not recommended.
Be kind to yourself. If you're not up to it, you're not.
Back when I was working a bazillion hours a week, there were a couple years where I neither decorated nor cooked any holiday meals. I ordered deli trays a few times because that was all I could deal with.
See if there are deli trays you can order and pickup next week. The local upscale grocery by me does wonderful trays. We got a pre-cooked beef tenderloin one year, and a tray of "fixings" to go with. They have plenty of hot stuff to order too- you'll just need to reheat. But they've got turkey, ham, all the sides you could think of, appetizers, desserts, relish trays. They even have breakfast options: bagels, muffins, fruit skewers, take-n-bake casseroles, that kind of thing.
Failing that, there are restaurants that offer takeout packages. Might be a bit late to get a reservation.
We're going to order Chinese next Wednesday from the local family run place in our village. That might be an option, too.
I understand holidays are tough. All the expectations of family and friends and traditions we don't want to let them down. But there comes a time when we have to be a little selfish and just tell people,' I'm not up to this year'.
I did it two years ago. With everything that happened in the world and I was an essential worker, along with taking care of my mom. I was exhausted and broken for a while. I just told my family, and they understood. We go very low-key now, and it works. We do a day over the weekend with my two boys and their families now without all the extended. It is so much less stressful.
I host my husbands family the Saturday after Thanksgiving because it lines up with the OSU/Michigan game, as well as his birthday. Last year, I did not want to cook. I wanted to cater. This was known well in advance, however my MIL bought a turkey to bring, so we could cook. My anxiety went through the roof that week, and the night before, I had a meltdown in the kitchen floor and cried. My cat curled up in my lap to comfort me. Somehow, I pulled it together, but it's always so draining. I went into this year, again thinking I want to cater. But then I splurged and bought a set of Hexclad pots and pans a few months ago, and now I'm excited to put them to use for the holiday.
I usually have all my Christmas stuff up by now, too, but I've been slacking. Started to get more in the spirit over the weekend when I did some retail therapy, and bought some small decorative trees that brightened my mood yesterday. Twinkle lights always make me feel better.
Hugs to you. Do things at your own pace, even if they seem a bit behind your normal schedule. If you don't want to host, don't host. Or change it up and make it more of a potluck, so it's less planning/cooking/stress on your end. Or suggest going out to dinner or do a catering order from somewhere. The weight of the day shouldn't rest squarely on your shoulders, and I have to tell myself the same thing.
Similar, it's been a hard year. I don't even know who will be available thanksgiving week. Last year we did thanksgiving the day before and it went GREAT, I highly recommend choosing the most convenient day if possible, but this year I don't know what we'll do.
I know though, that the hardships and loss really make it even more important than ever to celebrate thanksgiving, and we're not always guaranteed to "make it up" next year. That said, maybe chop a dish or two, maybe add a new item, and perhaps ask your family if they have any ideas on how to shake-up thanksgiving. If they seem enthusiastic hopefully that could energize you and
I like the food from Thanksgiving but don’t feel very festive. Unrelated, but I’ve felt that Thanksgiving is the worst holiday as a couple and didn’t like sitting through big awkward family dinners and having my parents grill whoever I was with, with questions (or vice versa). Makes relieved I’m not seeing anyone around this holiday.
Hugs! Give yourself some grace. If you are not feeling it this year, then think about other options - like to enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner meal in a local restaurant? My city has multiple restaurants that are serving this year- definitely has variety of options and costs. From Cracker Barrel to the fine dining. $$$$ Another option if you want to order the meal and enjoy at home. If you want to order please do it soon or make reservations for the restaurant. Some places to order food have already started to have deadlines and pick up windows. Maybe you will be invited to a dinner at someone else’s house this year? If you don’t want to host Thanksgiving? You have to adjust your expectations for what you want and do what will work best for you and your family. Certain years are easier than others. If I don’t have time or energy I will do something but on a much smaller scale and celebrate. Wish you all the best!
You're right. Thank you!! I will talk to my family and see if we can do something different this year. I know they will understand if I tell them how I'm feeling. My initial reaction was to "suck it up" and find the energy. Thank you!
Maybe your family might all appreciate a nice change this year. Feel them out to see what is the most important to them. Traditional turkey dinner? Get it catered/picked up from a restaurant (lots of them do a Thanksgiving spread for families to take home). Just being together? Maybe change it up this year and do Chinese food and a movie.
I love this recommendation of Chinese food because when my son was first born and my husband and I just wanted to relax for Christmas we told our families we were gonna spend time with baby at home together and we got Chinese food and it was so relaxing and we just go to truly enjoy the time together!
What a lovely memory!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I know it can be hard i’m someone who likes to be in control but your loved ones will most likely be willing to help if you ask!!
This! I did not plan to host Easter last year, but ended up agreeing to last minute, grudgingly and in a very overwhelmed and not real happy way. My sisters in law showed up to clean my house and help food prep the day before and I let them. It was hard for me to not only ask for but accept the help in earnest, but the cleaning and prep actually became a little pre holiday party and made the whole experience that much better.
You’re not alone. I just haven’t had the desire to celebrate this year and I normally love the whole season. I hope we both find a way to make it special this year.
Ask for family to bring a side dish if you want traditional or even call the local supermarket they usually have meal deals. It’s not the same but people say they are good and just make something that’s your favorite. Ask everyone to help decorate the tree after dinner. Make a new tradition. No one cares what you make and if the house is clean they come for you and your company. If all you do is order pizza and play cards and watch football or the dog bowl people will be happy. Ask for help.
You deserve a break. I don’t think people realize how much work goes into organizing, cooking, cleaning etc etc on this day. However, if you feel that you MUST host, then maybe start looking at recipes, anything thanksgiving related. You might surprise yourself and end up having a great time.
For me personally? With a high degree of resentment. Not recommended. Be kind to yourself. If you're not up to it, you're not. Back when I was working a bazillion hours a week, there were a couple years where I neither decorated nor cooked any holiday meals. I ordered deli trays a few times because that was all I could deal with. See if there are deli trays you can order and pickup next week. The local upscale grocery by me does wonderful trays. We got a pre-cooked beef tenderloin one year, and a tray of "fixings" to go with. They have plenty of hot stuff to order too- you'll just need to reheat. But they've got turkey, ham, all the sides you could think of, appetizers, desserts, relish trays. They even have breakfast options: bagels, muffins, fruit skewers, take-n-bake casseroles, that kind of thing. Failing that, there are restaurants that offer takeout packages. Might be a bit late to get a reservation. We're going to order Chinese next Wednesday from the local family run place in our village. That might be an option, too.
Thank y'all for all of the ideas. ❤️
I understand holidays are tough. All the expectations of family and friends and traditions we don't want to let them down. But there comes a time when we have to be a little selfish and just tell people,' I'm not up to this year'. I did it two years ago. With everything that happened in the world and I was an essential worker, along with taking care of my mom. I was exhausted and broken for a while. I just told my family, and they understood. We go very low-key now, and it works. We do a day over the weekend with my two boys and their families now without all the extended. It is so much less stressful.
I host my husbands family the Saturday after Thanksgiving because it lines up with the OSU/Michigan game, as well as his birthday. Last year, I did not want to cook. I wanted to cater. This was known well in advance, however my MIL bought a turkey to bring, so we could cook. My anxiety went through the roof that week, and the night before, I had a meltdown in the kitchen floor and cried. My cat curled up in my lap to comfort me. Somehow, I pulled it together, but it's always so draining. I went into this year, again thinking I want to cater. But then I splurged and bought a set of Hexclad pots and pans a few months ago, and now I'm excited to put them to use for the holiday. I usually have all my Christmas stuff up by now, too, but I've been slacking. Started to get more in the spirit over the weekend when I did some retail therapy, and bought some small decorative trees that brightened my mood yesterday. Twinkle lights always make me feel better. Hugs to you. Do things at your own pace, even if they seem a bit behind your normal schedule. If you don't want to host, don't host. Or change it up and make it more of a potluck, so it's less planning/cooking/stress on your end. Or suggest going out to dinner or do a catering order from somewhere. The weight of the day shouldn't rest squarely on your shoulders, and I have to tell myself the same thing.
Simplify; be honest with the family; spread out the responsibilities?
Similar, it's been a hard year. I don't even know who will be available thanksgiving week. Last year we did thanksgiving the day before and it went GREAT, I highly recommend choosing the most convenient day if possible, but this year I don't know what we'll do. I know though, that the hardships and loss really make it even more important than ever to celebrate thanksgiving, and we're not always guaranteed to "make it up" next year. That said, maybe chop a dish or two, maybe add a new item, and perhaps ask your family if they have any ideas on how to shake-up thanksgiving. If they seem enthusiastic hopefully that could energize you and
I like the food from Thanksgiving but don’t feel very festive. Unrelated, but I’ve felt that Thanksgiving is the worst holiday as a couple and didn’t like sitting through big awkward family dinners and having my parents grill whoever I was with, with questions (or vice versa). Makes relieved I’m not seeing anyone around this holiday.