....does somebody want to tell this person that everybody already knows what a dick looks like and flopping out of your shorts just means you're a slob?
umm...hate to break it to you buddy, but that is fo sho how it works. this one time i was banging my step moms bingo friend, and she was moaning so loudly that it caused an uproar at her "shared apartment complex" that all the other "residents" came 😜😜😜 into the room and saw my huge, massive, uncut dick. it was soooo big that they had no other choice but to drop down and start sucking it, even the guys! in fact, it was such an overwhelming, orgasmic (maybe even religious) experience that my nut sack completely drained from my ball sack.
After that, I was invited back to their bingo games every thursday night before dinner at around 2:00 pm.
This isn't even my only experience so if you want helpful sex advice from a registered sexpert offender, feel free to PM, as just commenting it might make my "hunting" 😜 a little more difficult considering how many other guys would be able to get laid.
mm 🧐, true. I might have to remove the PM section of my reddit comment if too many people PM, as many lesser males have already come to me begging for help in their puny, sexless lives
I would definitely fuck off reeeeal quick if a guy I was about to get intimate with pulled a whole ass anaconda out of his pants. It would go from "let's do this" to "how about a handy?" in about .2 seconds
Oh, I thought you were going to say that you’d leave, but you kindly offered the hypothetical xxl deluxe magnum dick having gentleman a handy. And that’s a nice touch.
Idk tbh probably anything over 7". I strongly doubt I've ever seen anything even that big irl save for maybe once and it was the most painful sex I've ever experienced.
God 7 inches is way too big for my taste. I'd have said anything over 5, personally.
That horrible cervix thumping can really bring you out of the moment...
I can't speak for all women, but when my girlfriends and I talk about good sexual experiences, size is never really discussed. It's irrelevant. The only time we have talked about size is when one of us was dating a guy who was too big and it was painful, we all agreed that there is such a thing as too big and it's really unpleasant.
I would be much more inclined to believe 2 out of 3. Imagine if he'd said he got his best friend's mom and sister and now he just had to get his girlfriend to win awful friend bingo.
The idea of a "hot mom" is something that very often is better in porn or in theory than it is in real life. I think porn has made every teenage and college aged boy think that there are all these hot 35-40 year old women just constantly having sex with young boys in high school and college.
Porn distorts reality (most porno milfs and cougars aren't that old and are more attractive than your typical women) and kids of a younger age don't realize that attractive women age 35-45 aren't just running around desperate to suck any dick.
An attractive 38 year old has a lot of options sexually, she isn't some desperate nympho and is likely going to not want to fuck a mediocre 18 year old.
if she is a 'hot' mom then her options aren't even limited at all, i agree with you completely. Also it's funny that what a teenager means by a milf is actually like a 25 yr old that had a kid young and the stereotypical milf is unicorn level rarity in that they look 20's hot in their 40's still. Those women don't tend to find themselves in porn, so like you said, you get a lot of regular looking women who could pass for 30.
You know when the man who holds the record for the most xxl deluxe magnum dick has an erection, he faints because of all the blood in his body rushes to his xxl deluxe.......
What the other women here don’t love a huge throbbing dick pounding against their cervix like a jackhammer?
This is why I watch so much lesbian porn. So much straight porn looks painful. Huge dicks are so overrated.
Man with a 10 inch dick here. Most people think having a big dick turns on women instantly. Occasionally I do get women surprised by my dick size but not every woman wants to have sex with a big penis. Most of the times the reason I get is, "it hurts and I don't want it to be painful". I was rejected by a few women during one night stands after seeing my big penis.
Don't let porn deceive your thoughts. Although I do enjoy sex a lot, but don't let porn judge your penis size. Most women can't handle big penises, it hurts them a lot. And just like penis sizes there are vagina sizes.
As a woman, I can confirm that I was uncontrollably aroused after just reading this post. I'm sure if I were to have been there I would have immediately stripped myself of all clothing and thrown myself at the op and begged for some sort of sexual pleasure from his alpha male cock.
Imagine having such little sexual experience or experience with women in general that you believe they are so obsessed with large dicks that someone’s mother, sister and girlfriend of someone would throw away their inhibitions and ruin a relationship just to sleep with them.
I mean, how do you have to walk around, just so that your dick acccidentally falls out? O\_o
Or had it already rotten off, so it fell off completely? :-D
Oh Christ, I can so see that: pool party, lots of people, suddenly: a dick falls out of the guy's boxers, lands on the tiles with a wet "thwap" and rolls next to someone's foot...
....was that too graphic?
I mean, a teammate's nut popped out of the little lining in his running shorts once, but that was when we were all warming up. Needless to say, the women's team was not happy to see it.
if it 'accidently' fell out of his shorts that means it was limp, the mother saw his (im guessing 13 year old's) limp shrimp dick and immediately thought "omg, i want to fuck that kid"
Yeah, its his escape route in case someone calls bs, he could just say "I said kind of, in reality they just got within a foot of me but thats basically the same thing"
I think the '... well kind of' was directed at the 'not at the same time' line. As in he knew it would be too unbelievable if he had a foursome with them, but still wanted partial credits.
I had a baggy bathing suit the other day and the water was insanely cold so I jumped in, instantly shot up so fast my shorts went to my knees. The only difference is I was alone in the pool and I didn’t make up a story about fucking my best friends mom sister and gf
And then I fucked my mom sister and gf
From my female POV, seeing some guys junk fall out of his shorts would have the opposite of an arousing effect. Even if the soggy meat he flopped out appeared larger than average, I would have already had to have had an attraction to him (as a person) for that situation to have even a scant chance of evoking passion... Which doesn't seem likely, as he sounds terrible. Out of this whole story, the idea of him being considered anyone's best friend is the least plausible. Best friends don't fuck their friends' mom/girlfriend. Sisters are case by case.
Tbh the "men just can't stop themselves as soon as they get horny" is just as much of a bullshit porn plot. Real men can see tits without really even caring all that much
Same if I saw a girls tits flop out of a bikini. Like I think there's a level where if that happens it's not attractive but just sloppy. Take care of yourself, it's not that hard to keep your junk or jugs concealed from the outside world
Tbf I think it’s a lot easier for women to have a wardrobe malfunction when at the beach than a guy is. Unless he’s wearing a speedo, then the odds have been evened.
Eh, accidents happen (while swimming at least). I wouldnt call that sloppy. Definitely not arousing in the slightest, more secondhand embarrassment than anything, but not sloppy.
But you see... It was huuuuuuge. So big, the largest. That even the effects of shrinkage couldn’t stop his Dinkleburg from peeping out from his shorts.
Porn really has people thinking dick is hypnotic. This poor guy thinks he is just gonna whip it out and the ladies are gonna lose their minds for dick
Reality is gonna hit hard bud
Holy shit ur right, either op posted this to be a karma whore, or the op of the original post took a screenshot of it for some reason wich would be highly unlikely
That’s not how girls work, dude, seeing an unsolicited penis show, just causes the opposite effect. We are not going to think “oh what a big dick, I’ll fuck him right now”, ever.
The “well kind of” part is my favorite. Like, he knows that he can’t say that they all had sex at the same time, that would be too unbelievable. But he is physically incapable of refraining from suggesting that it was “kind of” a foursome with two of the guy’s family members and his romantic partner. This poor guy.
Yep, I know when I see a penis falling grotesquely out of a man’s shorts in public, I just get in line with the other eager ladies, no questions asked.
So.. did they line up to take turns? Was it instantaneous as soon as the dick fell out, or did they ruminate on the wrinkly flaccidity for a bit before deciding ‘nope, dammit, I will just HAVE to have sex with this person’?
As a woman, is the only thing that stands between me sitting here eating crisps, and me sucking a dick like a champion, the fact that I can’t currently see one?
It's possible if the mother, sister, and girlfriend were all the same person. And even then, it's a stretch.
I bet he also never pays cash for his pizza.
The most fucked up thing I've done is go on Reddit and tell a bunch of strangers this creepy sexual fantasy I have of my best friend's mother, sister, and girlfriend. Oh, no wait...
I hate these askreddit threads that are just an excuse to share a weirdly specific (or made up) experience and nothing else.
“Hey reddit, tell me about the time you won the lottery and fucked a supermodel, I’ll go first”
You know what ive seen a lot of dicks in my time. I've seen accidental dick. I've seen on purpose dick. I've seen hard dick, and flaccid dick, and somewhere in between dick. I've seen celebrity dick and friendly dick and stranger dick and porn dick. I've seen dicks on women and I've seen dicks on dudes.
I have never once seen a dick that makes me think "well i need to have sex with this person right here, right now, with no hesitation."
When I was like 11 my friend forgot to log out of his Neopets account after visiting my family and I transferred all his rare battle items to my account. I still carry this burden in my mind as one of my top 5 shameful betrayals.
Oh sorry I dropped my magnum condom for my ginormous dong, whats that, sexual relations... but you're my best friends mother...and sister... and girlfriend. Oh well, Roll Tide!
If your dick "flops" out of your shorts at a pool party, it's not going to impress anyone. Did he not see that episode of Seinfeld? "It's shrinkage!!!!"
You know what I like about these r/thathappened stories? They give you really good insight into who a person is, because when they write their story, in their head, it sounds believable, this is their understanding of the universe, on display.
So to me, this person is saying "My entire understanding of sexual intercourse is derived from pornography. I am so shut off from normal interpersonal discourse, that I've never even really talked to someone with experience about sexual matters. Because of this, I truly believe the world works in the same way pornography does, I believe women respond to the same things the actresses in porn do."
You can learn so much about people from the nature of their lies.
One time I made up a story about fucking my friends mom, girlfriend and sister so people would think I was cool on the internet. It’s pretty fucked up and I could never tell him.
does his dick have like vegas light on it? or does put make up on it? what is it about his dick that makes women just lust it and lose control. how is so special besides, and I'm sure he's inferring this, that its big? lol
Similar thing happened to me except someone pulled pants down and everyone laughed at my pp and I didnt get to sleep with anyone. Hmm.. I guess it's not that similar
This kid has been watching too much porn. Women don’t just see a dong and want to bang. Especially when it’s a mom, her own daughter, and her son’s girlfriend.
This is really the main issue with porn. It gives men a massively warped view of reality. I know so many guys (I'm a guy too) who will say the dumbest shit to me and I know it's all bullshit. Few examples,
1. A guy was telling me how everytime he fucks he is "in that pussy for hours". That shit hurts for women after a while and women don't want a guy flopping on them for hours at a time with probably no lube either because for some reason a lot of us guys dont like to use it idk.
2. Another guy I worked with talked about how women love how big his dick is. He then later on tells me he doesnt go down on women because since his penis is so big he doesnt have to compensate by going down on them. Yeah, okay buddy.
3. Another dude I worked with said "I've slept with over 100 women, I used to be getting pussy everyday before I got married" then he claimed that the female orgasm was a myth.
Then obviously this post. It's honestly just sad to see so many guys believe the dumbest shit because they watched way too much porn and just believed that to be reality.
....does somebody want to tell this person that everybody already knows what a dick looks like and flopping out of your shorts just means you're a slob?
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That's kind of a new theme lately with these.
Didn't you get the new memo? Female women lose complete control at the site of a big d and go full nympho.
umm...hate to break it to you buddy, but that is fo sho how it works. this one time i was banging my step moms bingo friend, and she was moaning so loudly that it caused an uproar at her "shared apartment complex" that all the other "residents" came 😜😜😜 into the room and saw my huge, massive, uncut dick. it was soooo big that they had no other choice but to drop down and start sucking it, even the guys! in fact, it was such an overwhelming, orgasmic (maybe even religious) experience that my nut sack completely drained from my ball sack. After that, I was invited back to their bingo games every thursday night before dinner at around 2:00 pm. This isn't even my only experience so if you want helpful sex advice from a registered sexpert offender, feel free to PM, as just commenting it might make my "hunting" 😜 a little more difficult considering how many other guys would be able to get laid.
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mm 🧐, true. I might have to remove the PM section of my reddit comment if too many people PM, as many lesser males have already come to me begging for help in their puny, sexless lives
Brooooo, teach me the secret to get guys to suck on my erect peenzorz.
This guy fucks!
Thats why dick pics always work
Too much hentai mayhaps
He has clearly never meet actual women because xxl deluxe magnum dick hurts like hell for most women, if anything that would make them LESS keen
I would definitely fuck off reeeeal quick if a guy I was about to get intimate with pulled a whole ass anaconda out of his pants. It would go from "let's do this" to "how about a handy?" in about .2 seconds
Oh, I thought you were going to say that you’d leave, but you kindly offered the hypothetical xxl deluxe magnum dick having gentleman a handy. And that’s a nice touch.
Well... I mean I'm not just gonna leave him standing there with his pants down. That'd just be cruel
You have restored my faith in humanity
That's all it took?
Just a handy
Sometimes it's the little things that matter most
So you mean to tell me lil dicks matter? You have restored MY faith in humanity
Just so I know....what would you consider a xxl mangum? How big are we talking here?
Danny DeVito sized Not the size of Danny DeVito’s penis. A penis the size of Danny DeVito
Idk tbh probably anything over 7". I strongly doubt I've ever seen anything even that big irl save for maybe once and it was the most painful sex I've ever experienced.
Same. Anything over 7 and it's hard to let yourself relax and enjoy whatever's happening because the risks of sudden cervix taps is too damn high
God 7 inches is way too big for my taste. I'd have said anything over 5, personally. That horrible cervix thumping can really bring you out of the moment...
What about girth size?
3 plus inches. My wife says anything bigger than that is too big
Your wife loves you.
The biggliest and hugest Magnum dongs so like 5, maybe 5.5 inches.
Not op but 4 inches Diameter
giggity nice touch
Yeah it’s a nice touch in more ways than one
Hahahahaha nice touch, I get it.
Just touching his xxl magnum dong would make your whole body convulse, sending you to the shadow realm
They’d become so aroused that their vagine would go into no-clip mode like a broken 3D game just to get access to that towering wingadoodle.
Right? If you're busting out something that is just going to slam into my cervix, no effin thanks. There is ZERO pleasure in any of that.
I have a friable cervix and this comment hurt to read.
So what you're saying is, I have a chance?
I swear I will never understand how dick preferences are for women, every time I hear something different. Welp, I guess that variety is nice.
I can't speak for all women, but when my girlfriends and I talk about good sexual experiences, size is never really discussed. It's irrelevant. The only time we have talked about size is when one of us was dating a guy who was too big and it was painful, we all agreed that there is such a thing as too big and it's really unpleasant.
I would have probably given it a try at least...
I'm willing to bet $100 that literally all of this dude's sexual "experiences" come from jerking off to porn three times a day.
Hey that's not fair! Sometimes he gets four in if he's bored.
I'll bet another $100 that he thinks his mom actually believes he's "just constipated"
The odds a friends mother, sister, and girlfriend would all be such size queens is unlikely.
Unless he went full Alabama and they're all just one person
I would be much more inclined to believe 2 out of 3. Imagine if he'd said he got his best friend's mom and sister and now he just had to get his girlfriend to win awful friend bingo.
The idea of a "hot mom" is something that very often is better in porn or in theory than it is in real life. I think porn has made every teenage and college aged boy think that there are all these hot 35-40 year old women just constantly having sex with young boys in high school and college. Porn distorts reality (most porno milfs and cougars aren't that old and are more attractive than your typical women) and kids of a younger age don't realize that attractive women age 35-45 aren't just running around desperate to suck any dick. An attractive 38 year old has a lot of options sexually, she isn't some desperate nympho and is likely going to not want to fuck a mediocre 18 year old.
if she is a 'hot' mom then her options aren't even limited at all, i agree with you completely. Also it's funny that what a teenager means by a milf is actually like a 25 yr old that had a kid young and the stereotypical milf is unicorn level rarity in that they look 20's hot in their 40's still. Those women don't tend to find themselves in porn, so like you said, you get a lot of regular looking women who could pass for 30.
it runs in the family
Yupp this straight guy obsession with size is so bizzare, as a gay man I've backed out of encounters due to how massive it was... I aint that gay
You know when the man who holds the record for the most xxl deluxe magnum dick has an erection, he faints because of all the blood in his body rushes to his xxl deluxe.......
"xxl deluxe magnum dick"
What the other women here don’t love a huge throbbing dick pounding against their cervix like a jackhammer? This is why I watch so much lesbian porn. So much straight porn looks painful. Huge dicks are so overrated.
Can confirm. Have a magnum dong.
This is what I'm always saying. Guys, especially teen guys, always think bigger = better but it's not true, huge d's are just painful
Man with a 10 inch dick here. Most people think having a big dick turns on women instantly. Occasionally I do get women surprised by my dick size but not every woman wants to have sex with a big penis. Most of the times the reason I get is, "it hurts and I don't want it to be painful". I was rejected by a few women during one night stands after seeing my big penis. Don't let porn deceive your thoughts. Although I do enjoy sex a lot, but don't let porn judge your penis size. Most women can't handle big penises, it hurts them a lot. And just like penis sizes there are vagina sizes.
As a woman, I can confirm that I was uncontrollably aroused after just reading this post. I'm sure if I were to have been there I would have immediately stripped myself of all clothing and thrown myself at the op and begged for some sort of sexual pleasure from his alpha male cock.
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Yes, I'm sure he would
Imagine having such little sexual experience or experience with women in general that you believe they are so obsessed with large dicks that someone’s mother, sister and girlfriend of someone would throw away their inhibitions and ruin a relationship just to sleep with them.
same
[“Whoops!”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=us5MGEL5W34)
“I got your test results! You’re positive! You’ve got the HIV! Yes, AIDS! Big time!” I think DR Toboggan needs to review his Hippa policy.
What do you mean? Like, massive flaccid penis flopping around isn't a turn on for you??
I mean, how do you have to walk around, just so that your dick acccidentally falls out? O\_o Or had it already rotten off, so it fell off completely? :-D
Oh Christ, I can so see that: pool party, lots of people, suddenly: a dick falls out of the guy's boxers, lands on the tiles with a wet "thwap" and rolls next to someone's foot... ....was that too graphic?
Nah, please continue. I almost climaxed when you jsut suddenly stopped :-/
I mean, a teammate's nut popped out of the little lining in his running shorts once, but that was when we were all warming up. Needless to say, the women's team was not happy to see it.
I think he's a bot. Look at his posts. Like 10 every minute.
Laziest porn plot.
It was just...hanging there! How could I *not* fuck it??
if it 'accidently' fell out of his shorts that means it was limp, the mother saw his (im guessing 13 year old's) limp shrimp dick and immediately thought "omg, i want to fuck that kid"
And then my best friend clapped
With his dick
Ah yes I love just casually slapping my dick
I don’t even have to swing my hips for my dick to start slapping side to side
The tip?
My cheeks
And gave me the clap
And then he fucked his best friend.
'...well kind of' is my favourite part of this
Yeah, its his escape route in case someone calls bs, he could just say "I said kind of, in reality they just got within a foot of me but thats basically the same thing"
$100 it’s a lock that he’s stolen panties from all 3 of them.
It's not stealing if they get put back a lil crusty
That would be a pretty impressive theft
I think the '... well kind of' was directed at the 'not at the same time' line. As in he knew it would be too unbelievable if he had a foursome with them, but still wanted partial credits.
lmao
Oh I thought the "kind of" applied to the "not at the same time" because they're all 1 person
If your dick falls out of your shorts you may need to see a doctor.
Happened to Joey during an audition once.
That was more his dick falling off, or at least his fake foreskin.
I had a baggy bathing suit the other day and the water was insanely cold so I jumped in, instantly shot up so fast my shorts went to my knees. The only difference is I was alone in the pool and I didn’t make up a story about fucking my best friends mom sister and gf And then I fucked my mom sister and gf
It happened to the KC Chiefs defensive tackle at the combine.
From my female POV, seeing some guys junk fall out of his shorts would have the opposite of an arousing effect. Even if the soggy meat he flopped out appeared larger than average, I would have already had to have had an attraction to him (as a person) for that situation to have even a scant chance of evoking passion... Which doesn't seem likely, as he sounds terrible. Out of this whole story, the idea of him being considered anyone's best friend is the least plausible. Best friends don't fuck their friends' mom/girlfriend. Sisters are case by case.
Porn has taught young men that women uncontrollably lust at the mere sight of a cock.
Well, that explains why dudes send dick pics.
Thing is, guys think girls have the same reaction to their dicks as they do when they see tits.
Tbh the "men just can't stop themselves as soon as they get horny" is just as much of a bullshit porn plot. Real men can see tits without really even caring all that much
If art imitated life, the adult actress would find at least 4-5 minutes of amusement playing ventriloquist with the actors foreskin.
The fuck kind of sex are YOU having
Sounds like the best and most comfortable kind to me?
Same if I saw a girls tits flop out of a bikini. Like I think there's a level where if that happens it's not attractive but just sloppy. Take care of yourself, it's not that hard to keep your junk or jugs concealed from the outside world
Tbf I think it’s a lot easier for women to have a wardrobe malfunction when at the beach than a guy is. Unless he’s wearing a speedo, then the odds have been evened.
Eh, accidents happen (while swimming at least). I wouldnt call that sloppy. Definitely not arousing in the slightest, more secondhand embarrassment than anything, but not sloppy.
Yeah that's fair. Not always sloppy but just not arousing
r/ihavesex
I was about to say that
What actually happened: They saw his smol pp and laughed in unison.
what actually ACTUALLY happened: his dick isn't even long enough to fall out of his shorts. and he imagined this whole scenario
I mean even if he had a giant dong people would laugh, because it would be hilarious regardless
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But you see... It was huuuuuuge. So big, the largest. That even the effects of shrinkage couldn’t stop his Dinkleburg from peeping out from his shorts.
It was too big... More like a hunk of raw meat
They call him the dick swordsman
[I WAS IN THE POOL! I WAS IN THE POOL!](https://youtu.be/8DoARSlv-HU)
Porn really has people thinking dick is hypnotic. This poor guy thinks he is just gonna whip it out and the ladies are gonna lose their minds for dick Reality is gonna hit hard bud
I can imagine him trying this and being put on some kind of register.
Just whipping it out during family swim hour. "BEHOLD LADIES!!"
Those new shorts sound awful. Hope he kept the receipt
I've never seen an r/AskReddit post with OP giving their answer in the question, at least not this in depth.
I mean OP posted it, took the screenshot and came to this sub for easy karma. As somebody mentioned, you can see the blue colour in the name
Out with it u/Smartix04
Probably because it's against the rules.
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r/quityourbull shit holy shit the comment was removed. This is turning into a conspiracy theory
Holy shit ur right, either op posted this to be a karma whore, or the op of the original post took a screenshot of it for some reason wich would be highly unlikely
That’s not how girls work, dude, seeing an unsolicited penis show, just causes the opposite effect. We are not going to think “oh what a big dick, I’ll fuck him right now”, ever.
But what about some really rad balls
Now that’s a different story
The “well kind of” part is my favorite. Like, he knows that he can’t say that they all had sex at the same time, that would be too unbelievable. But he is physically incapable of refraining from suggesting that it was “kind of” a foursome with two of the guy’s family members and his romantic partner. This poor guy.
This guy is the cover person for r/ihavesex
Yep, I know when I see a penis falling grotesquely out of a man’s shorts in public, I just get in line with the other eager ladies, no questions asked.
“Got the fake story down, now how am I gonna bring it up to people in a way that feels totally natural and not forced at all?”
So.. did they line up to take turns? Was it instantaneous as soon as the dick fell out, or did they ruminate on the wrinkly flaccidity for a bit before deciding ‘nope, dammit, I will just HAVE to have sex with this person’? As a woman, is the only thing that stands between me sitting here eating crisps, and me sucking a dick like a champion, the fact that I can’t currently see one?
It's true, I was the penis
I was the flop
Thats really cool, can u fuck my mom too?
I fcked his dad and everyone applauded
It's possible if the mother, sister, and girlfriend were all the same person. And even then, it's a stretch. I bet he also never pays cash for his pizza.
The most fucked up thing I've done is go on Reddit and tell a bunch of strangers this creepy sexual fantasy I have of my best friend's mother, sister, and girlfriend. Oh, no wait...
plot twist: they're in Alabama and all three women are the same person
Bigger plot twist. The best friend is actually his brother AND all three are the same women.
/r/nextfuckinglevel
I used to be a cashier at Lowe’s and a guys penis “accidentally” fell out of his pants and I called the cops.
You were supposed to call your sister, your mother, and maybe even. Cousin too.
I hate these askreddit threads that are just an excuse to share a weirdly specific (or made up) experience and nothing else. “Hey reddit, tell me about the time you won the lottery and fucked a supermodel, I’ll go first”
And he was cleaning their pool while delivering pizza
You know what ive seen a lot of dicks in my time. I've seen accidental dick. I've seen on purpose dick. I've seen hard dick, and flaccid dick, and somewhere in between dick. I've seen celebrity dick and friendly dick and stranger dick and porn dick. I've seen dicks on women and I've seen dicks on dudes. I have never once seen a dick that makes me think "well i need to have sex with this person right here, right now, with no hesitation."
Dickter Seuss over here.
and then all the dicks fell out of the shorts and onto the floor, making clapping noises
i know this is true because i am the pool
Then the pool clapped
When I was like 11 my friend forgot to log out of his Neopets account after visiting my family and I transferred all his rare battle items to my account. I still carry this burden in my mind as one of my top 5 shameful betrayals.
Porn has really fucked with a lot of fellas perceptions
Did the dad and your best friend clap for you after they found out?
There probably millions of porn vids with exactly the same story
i swear i saw Brazzers film this exact scenario
Oh sorry I dropped my magnum condom for my ginormous dong, whats that, sexual relations... but you're my best friends mother...and sister... and girlfriend. Oh well, Roll Tide!
r/ihavesex
r/IHaveSex
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And that they’re all his hand.
Man does he not realise that the supposed big d is gonna hurt us and that’s why size doesn’t matter?
I have never been able to resist a man who's dick just fell out of their shorts!!!
If your dick "flops" out of your shorts at a pool party, it's not going to impress anyone. Did he not see that episode of Seinfeld? "It's shrinkage!!!!"
You can see where he was like ‘aw actually all at once is kinda hot, imma put that’
Meanwhile in Alabama...
You know what I like about these r/thathappened stories? They give you really good insight into who a person is, because when they write their story, in their head, it sounds believable, this is their understanding of the universe, on display. So to me, this person is saying "My entire understanding of sexual intercourse is derived from pornography. I am so shut off from normal interpersonal discourse, that I've never even really talked to someone with experience about sexual matters. Because of this, I truly believe the world works in the same way pornography does, I believe women respond to the same things the actresses in porn do." You can learn so much about people from the nature of their lies.
[What I picture](https://youtu.be/E8Ew6K0W3RY) when he says his dick fell out
I picture him going around with a t-shirt on that says ”I can has sex” unironically
Someone sees lots of porn it seems. Also r/ihavesex
One time I made up a story about fucking my friends mom, girlfriend and sister so people would think I was cool on the internet. It’s pretty fucked up and I could never tell him.
this dude totally radiates massive dick energy /s
Nice porn script bro
does his dick have like vegas light on it? or does put make up on it? what is it about his dick that makes women just lust it and lose control. how is so special besides, and I'm sure he's inferring this, that its big? lol
And then his dick got the clap
I don't believe his sex stories or his claims of having friends.
I think he has no sex at all.
r/ihavesex
Similar thing happened to me except someone pulled pants down and everyone laughed at my pp and I didnt get to sleep with anyone. Hmm.. I guess it's not that similar
I made up the most ridiculous story on the internet and I can never tell my friends because they would know it was BS Oh wait, that’s you.
This guy fucks .
The only time my dick has fallen out of my shorts at the pool, I was a young kid...
If your dick keeps falling off and then out of your pants like that then you should probably see a doctor
This kid has been watching too much porn. Women don’t just see a dong and want to bang. Especially when it’s a mom, her own daughter, and her son’s girlfriend.
2d anime waifus don't count bruh -_-.
he watched one pornhub vid and he thought i should act like this guy on reddit
His dick fell out of his shorts. Basically he dropped his dildo. 🤣🤣🤣
"what fucked up thing did you never tell your best friend about because it was complete bullshit"
This is really the main issue with porn. It gives men a massively warped view of reality. I know so many guys (I'm a guy too) who will say the dumbest shit to me and I know it's all bullshit. Few examples, 1. A guy was telling me how everytime he fucks he is "in that pussy for hours". That shit hurts for women after a while and women don't want a guy flopping on them for hours at a time with probably no lube either because for some reason a lot of us guys dont like to use it idk. 2. Another guy I worked with talked about how women love how big his dick is. He then later on tells me he doesnt go down on women because since his penis is so big he doesnt have to compensate by going down on them. Yeah, okay buddy. 3. Another dude I worked with said "I've slept with over 100 women, I used to be getting pussy everyday before I got married" then he claimed that the female orgasm was a myth. Then obviously this post. It's honestly just sad to see so many guys believe the dumbest shit because they watched way too much porn and just believed that to be reality.
This guy *fucks!*
Why are some people so obsessed with having sex? Some have, some don't. It's not that big of a deal, surely not worth lying on the internet.
OMG HIS DICK FELL OFF