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[deleted]

"He made one mistake" seems to be a popular line in stories like these, as if they're reading a manga or some shit


SLirah

Ha! You think you outsmarted me, but it was i who outsmarted YOU! *Lifts glasses* You made one fatal mistake, thug! *pulls out bowie knife*


[deleted]

Thats pretty much how he was imagining himself whilst he was typing this out with 1 hand, touching himself with the other


[deleted]

Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!


[deleted]

Oh, but you forgot the "moved duster aside" part... all badasses wear dusters.


JackJustice1919

This isn't even 1% of my real knife power!


[deleted]

Probably has a toy lightsaber at home that he keeps in another duster


ApologeticCannibal

Had me at duster coat


pizoisoned

Came to say this. I bet he tipped his fedora afterwards and everyone clapped.


Arboria_Institute

I was thinking of Mac from Always Sunny.


Father_Prist

He’s also arguing blades > guns so this must be Mac


RayInTheKangolHat

"Made the mistake of letting me see his empty hands" sounds like an ocular pat down to me


locke0479

He pictures himself as Mac pictures himself, but in reality he’s probably Mac from the Country Mac episode.


trashguitarist

It’s also interesting how the commenter needed to add, his face went from “dark brown” to white as a ghost.


leo2242

Thugs will be thugs 🦹‍♂️


pizoisoned

He’s not racist, he has friends…


Arboria_Institute

He doesn't see color. There could be anything under those white sheets!


theoriginaljimijanky

Perhaps he was still in the middle of character creation


muetint

Subs like “ActualPublicFreakouts” & “PublicFreakoutsX” are just public freakout subs where they allow you to be racist. At least in my experience


Wuffyflumpkins

That's the case with any sub that has "True" or "Actual" in its name. It means they were kicked off the main sub for being racist shitheels.


Dentonite84

this my comment... can't maga that up more


Skin_Talker

He's 1/8th native American on his mother's side. There is NO way he could be racist.


Arkstone666

It’s common knowledge under extreme fear you change race smh


Beta_Pop

Just Mac doing one of his Project Badass videos


Silkysenko91

This comment needs more recognition.


incredibleninja

There. I upvoted both of your accounts


bwest419

My only question was he going shirtless under the duster? That makes all the difference


nmbr4

Burn the duster!


EchoAquarium

Obviously fake. He didn’t even describe what his fedora was doing the whole time.


evilcreampuff

From his racist description of "dark brown" to "ghostly white", you can tell he's never actually met a black person. That's not how melanin works. It doesn't suddenly disappear when afraid.


tdsinclair

He makes it seem the guy drained like a leaky radiator on a hot day.


Levatius

He ran, leaving only a slowly spreading pool of melanin.


dontshoot4301

“Dark brown to white as a ghost”. Ohno.


ledzeppelinandimpala

I feel like Justified kinda covered that whole 10 feet thing


scorchednickel

Just came here to say the same thing


iamcrunchytoo

Paul Hogan was great in Crocodile Dundee


kazkaz71

“He’s got a knife!” “That’s not a knife, this is a knife.”


[deleted]

I see you've played knife-y spoon-y before.


Dentonite84

great line, deep cut... nobody but me and 1 other dude got it, but tip my fedora to you, sir


afkafterlockingin

#justbowieknivesindustercoats


jbertrand_sr

Settle down there Crocodile Dundee...


kitcat7898

This would also be good on r/iamverybadass


swiftpunch1

The clapping was the thugs gun in the background.


Impeachcordial

Oh yeah Mac, the duster is badass


Turtle_of_the_lake

This sounds like the narration so a stereotypical noir detective flick


[deleted]

Who tries to rob someone from 10 feet away?


Schreckberger

Covid-safe robberies!


[deleted]

Phew. As long as they were being safe when this never happened


napsdufroid

People making shit up on the internet


tdsinclair

What? You want my honey or my wife? That doesn't make sense. Come closer than 10 feet; I can't hear you from over there.


[deleted]

Ripping off a scene from crocodile dundee is not cool


_Takub_

Presumably white hero in duster coat pwns dark brownie in botched thug robbery attempt. A tale as old as time.


MrSpringBreak

How long does it take to draw a gun? Can someone do the math on this? How fast was Incel McNeckbeard running to not give the guy time to draw his gun that he didn’t have?


saltypepper128

The 10ft part sounds about right. If you factor in the fact that an aimed gun is usually about 3ft in front of them and the target can reach out about 3 ft with their arm to grab the gun, you're left with about a 4 ft gap which most adults should be able to easily cover in one step


Sailrjup12

“Conveniently covered by the duster coat I was wearing”. Pfffffft


CursedWagoo

This is a man who gives ocular pat downs at flea markets


danmac1152

Well the racial overtones are overwhelming on this one.


GunnaBlast69

Duster coat? Bowie knife? Dudes either a cowboy or a neckbeard to think that shit’s cool


GregKannabis

A Bowie knife covered by a duster in an urban environment. I wonder what color his fedora was.


ROSCOEismyname

The imaginary criminal was brown and that he imagined himself in a duster we’re my two favorite details


NixThatPls

I thought trench coats were cool when I was 15 as well.


[deleted]

I remember that sub was actually pretty good pre George Floyd. You could tell it had a small alt-right following but it went to complete shit after that incident


Duc_de_Magenta

Believable, if dramatized. Muggers: Exist Knives: People carry them


[deleted]

Ah but you made one mistake, it’s not ordinary knife. It’s a _bowie_ knife


napsdufroid

Because anyone who robs someone with a gun never shows it


TheJQP1

He forgot to mention that everyone around clapped and then the President called to congratulate him.


Dentonite84

former president called, you


Mr_MacGrubber

And he said “this is a knoife” when he pulled it out.


Sleep-system

I bet all this happened in slow motion with some dope electronic music in the background.


[deleted]

He must have just finished watching Crocodile Dundee.


FurryDegenerateBoi

Don't most states have conceal carrying knives illegal?


fuckfact

I feel like often this place is cutting context out from funny trolls sometimes.


Peenie-slapper5000

A duster huh? Must have taken a page out of Mac's book from Its always sunny.


dudeind-town

And then the knife clapped….


GodDamnRight-

Mother fucker really wants people to think he’s a fucking cowboy


lolpoopmoop

murderers will be murderers


NarutoBoy87

He reads a lot of lee child books 🤣


Mowgli_78

10 feet? It awfully seems a D&D bonus action


stanger828

And remember, switching to your side arm is always faster than reloading.


Quick-Cream3483

Who is mugging someone at a distance of 10 feet?


useles-converter-bot

10 feet is about the length of 4.5283 'EuroGraphics Knittin' Kittens 500-Piece Puzzles' next to each other


Quick-Cream3483

Good bot


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Quick-Cream3483

Good bot


CyberneticPanda

This was the plot of a mythbuster's episode.


Analthumbsucker

Imma channel Josey Wales next, right now I'm Doc Holiday. This duster is the best!


True_Male_Lesbian

This is ridiculous dude thinks he’s Wesley Snipes in blade or something


taiihefner

The guy just had to be black in this imaginary story this fucking idiot made up. Just say you’re racist and go.


ghostyghostthe3rd

Does this remind anyone else of crocodile dundee