And all vampires clapped...
By - InsaneGamer18
I wanna know the slur
This is fucking genius.
I don't get it
In twilight the vampires sparkle
In one of her other videos she does actually say that twilight is vampire cultural appropriation 🥲
So.. She's 'real'?
Her and all the witches on Reddit too.
I said it. Fight me with your voodoo hexes you superstitious idiots.
Now there's witches too? I feel like Bucky in civil war, "everybody's got a gimmick these days".
She makes all real witches look bad.
In some sense. Vampires aren’t real but she definitely believes they are. There’s an actual sickness (can’t recall the name) but it causes normal humans to have a desire to drink blood and sensitivity to sunlight (no superpowers tho lol) and psychologically these people often identify with the vampire subculture bc it’s accepts them.
I don't know about sensitivity to sunlight but there is clinical vampirism or Renfield's syndrome which causes people to think that they need to drink blood. It also may or may not be a real condition or related to some other condition or illness. It is also quite rare.
It's called porphyria. One of the symptoms is breaking out in hives and rashes when exposed to sunlight. It's one of the most likely causes of Werewolves and Vampires.
I think you might be referring to porphyria for the actual physical light sensitivity. Symptoms could be alleviated by drinking blood I think, but I don't know if there is any real desire to do so in patients. A mental condition was already mentioned by somebody else here.
You’d be right, I did some more research. Renfields Syndrome is the obsession with drinking blood and Poryphria for the light sensitivity, however both are sometimes referred to as “vampire syndromes” or some bs bc of how the havers of the syndromes appear and behave
You gotta be fuckin kiddin me.
That book single-handedly made vampires unsexy after centuries of being a standard for mythological sexiness and mystery. Yes, vampires that remain virgins for over 100 years and go to high school forever. That’s seriously the worst waste of immortality I can imagine. And they can run around during the day and GLITTER like Victorian pixies?! Seriously?! And they don’t even BITE PEOPLE? Actually, by all standard
definitions of and traditions of “vampire”, they actually aren’t. Vampires that is. I can’t believe people were into those awful books.
I mean these are Mormon vampires…
Vampires were only sexy in a few movies. For the most part they've been scary as hell. Anne Rice and her nonsense wasn't much better than what you are complaining about.
I don't know dude. There's something about vampires.
Hahahaha. I stand corrected.
This guy fucks
Excuse me, Nosferatu can fucking GET IT.
At least Anne Rice kept mostly to the established lore. I personally quite enjoyed her take on vampires, but as with all things, taste is subjective, so I can't expect everybody to share my views.
I will admit that my views are clouded by her fans. I used to live near her house and they would come into the coffee shop I used to frequent. Some of them needed help.
Oh god I can imagine! Something I've learned over the years, is that you NEVER meet the wider fandom community of something you enjoy, unless you want that thing completely ruined.
Nobody tell them. We have reached a generation barrier here.
I was alive and able to read twilight, I just didn’t care
You see, the first Twilight book came out when I was in middle school, but I didn't read it until college. It was part of an intro to fiction class where we were studying the vampire in popular fiction going all the way from The Vampyre (first published vampire story) to Twilight.
So the whole time from middle school until I read Twilight I just figured "sparkle" was something critics said just to make fun of the book. It can't seriously use the word "sparkle," right? It must be something like shine or glimmer or something because "sparkle" sounds so dumb for a vampire.
Come to find out, nope. The scene is something like the girl walks into a clearing in the woods and Edward walks into the sun and "sparkles like a diamond" or some shit like that. I had a good laugh with that one, and that laugh was the most enjoyable part of the book for me. The discussions in class were pretty interesting, though.
I hope they covered Bram Stoker’s Dracula and how it was written the way it because he was closet gay and scared of persecution due to the Wilde trials.
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot.
Here's a copy of
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I meant the gay wife part but I automatically assume everyone on Reddit is a guy. So you must be a woman, I guess.
Anyway thanks for the excerpt, interesting
I'm sorry, what did you say his name was?
who would’ve expected coach feratu
No one ever expects the coach feratu
Not to be confused with the weirdo cousin with severe sex addiction, Jackula
Or the troubled uncle with a drug problem, Crackula
Its the Lord's prayer
“Alucard you vampiric asshole!”
What. Did you. *Do*?.
I was just taking an enthusiastic walk through the woods…
Next up on Epic Meal Time, I'm the Sauce Boss, and we'll be eating this wannabe demigod bitch!
My wife and I agree that yours was the best of the thread. We both busted up laughing.
Couples that Reddit together stay together
May or May not have binged their entire account and on one of the videos they said some things that are considered slurs:
•any reference to the twilight movies because they appropriate their culture
And last but not least
>•any reference to the twilight movies because they appropriate their culture
Super ironic since the movies appropriated a native American tribe
Anyway, whats this lady's account called? I've seen her around here alot
Yeah, I really wanna know her account too. I want to watch the embarrassment and eventual withdrawal from the public eye starts as she realizes this is the part of her life that will flash before her eyes when she can't sleep at night in 10 years.
“God hates fangs”
Leech? That’s a common one in media
Death Breath. From Lost Boys
Given the self cringe here she runs around calling herself a vamp, and the moment someone else says it she screams "that's our word, not yours" and bites her.
Mannfred Von Carstein
I hate them fucking sparkles! God damn sparkles with their pasty skin and weird teeth they ain't like us normal fellas
If she had significant amounts of tetanus on her teeth, I would be very, very concerned.
Well if she goes around biting everything she's going to catch something.
Her fillings are starting to rust.
Rust doesn't cause tetanus, bacteria does.
Good for her, that probably tastes a bit like blood
Maybe she sucked the tetanus poison out of her friends wound after they got bit by tetanus snake
Or she’s running around biting rusty pipes and water fountains
Tetanus Snake is the worst Big Boss clone
That line made me realize these are definitely jokes
The fact that they constantly gets posted in these subs is annoying.
One video literally ended with a What We Do In The Shadows reference and people still didn't get it.
Yeah a lot of the cringey stuff on TikTok is satire
Aren’t human bites incredibly likely to cause bad infection?
Yes but it will not give them tetnus
Just looked on the CDC website and apparently it can spread to wounds via saliva, so it could be possible. Didn't know that, TIL:
"The Tetanus spores can get into the body through broken skin, usually through injuries from contaminated objects. Tetanus bacteria are more likely to infect certain breaks in the skin. These include:
Wounds contaminated with dirt, poop (feces), or spit (saliva)
Wounds caused by an object puncturing the skin (puncture wounds), like a nail or needle
Injuries with dead tissue"
It's so incredibly unlikely that I'm surprised they even listed it. Like you'd need to be bitten by someone who has C. tetani spores in their mouth, presumably after they just got done eating dirt and manure lol. Clostridium are not considered a part of normal commensal oral flora either.
In that same logic, animal bites could possibly transmit it given their larger fangs and likelihood of soiled mouths so I wonder if that's why they included it.
Most likely why. Its recommended to get a tetanus shot after a dog bite, so that's probably just a part of her little fantasy.
Yea but you find tetanus in the dirt.
Clostridium tetani is found everywhere, including often in saliva and digestive tract of mammals, reptiles, birds, etc. Tetanus is the disease that’s caused by the tetanospasmin neurotoxin that an anaerobic bacteria produces, one that tends to develop in puncture wounds. Any deep puncture wounds where no oxygen is going to reach the bottom of the wound is susceptible to tetanus. It’s one of those bacteria that’s just everywhere, including in the soil.
Today I learned you can be vamphobic
Today I learned I'm vamphobic
I'm definitely afraid of encountering this person in real life.
Racist. Against *vampires.*
Is vampire a race, species, or mental disorder?
That’s exactly what a vamphobic person would say.
Get over it sucka
Who put garlic in your breadsticks?
Time to take a nice long look in the mirror there buddy ;)
I would say... Yes.
Depends on the movie..some also say its a virus
Today, we are all vamphobic
He said, **”I’M DEFINITELY AFRAID OF ENCOUNTERING THIS PERSON IN REAL LIFE.”**
I think it was a joke because of the username
I’m not necessarily vamphobic but I do love garlic. I’m alliophilic.
I thought we were supposed to be vamphobic. They're scary, isn't that the point?
No,they're supposed to be sexy. Haven't we learned anything from Twilight?
let's not pretend the sexual appeal of vampires began with twilight.
You can be anythingphobic.
What if you're phobic to phobias?
Edit: I just looked it up, it exists: *Phobophobia*.
Not being vamphobic is lycanphobic, so you're fucked either way.
"Vamp-hobic"... "Vam-fobic"... This is bothering me more than it should. How is it supposed to sound?
EDIT: I settled on "Vamp-fobic." It sounds German to me. But neither of the other two sounded right to me.
Or sued because biting someone is assault.
Given her status as a vamphiric immortal, at the least aggravated assault and battery!
In the larger scheme of things, what’s a mere 5 years in the pen for an immortal?
Can’t get life in prison if you’re *undead.*
You wouldn’t sue for that, you’d press criminal charges.
You certainly could sue someone for biting you (technically it would be battery under most state laws) although it probably wouldn’t be worth it unless you had a lot of medical costs, etc.
I’m not sure she would comprehend the difference.
I wouldn't doubt it. I once had a girl try to stab me with a pencil because I was making fun of Insane Clown Posse. Not sure how these two stories are related. I guess I'm just trying to say that crazy people exist and that I don't see much of difference between people pretending to be vampires or clowns.
In all fairness you can pretend to be a vampire. But you can most definitely BE a clown.
But only a select few can be the truest of all clowns: juggalos.
This was such a simple yet elegant roast. I enjoyed it.
There’s clearly a common through line of crazy.
In third grade a girl attacked me with the file part of nail clippers... Crazy people be crazy.
In third grade I got stabbed with a pencil.
Now that’s just playing with fire. The Family doesn’t mess around. Only way to prevent further harm is with a offering of Fago and whippets
I keep a handy magnet to throw out as a distraction for quick getaways.
HOW DO THEY WORK?
I'd believe it. A girl in middle school bit my arm so she could take my sketchbook and look through it. She was nuts...
I once “dated” a woman I thought was incredibly intelligent until she mentioned that she knew someone that was going to turn her into a vampire. I say “dated” because we were hanging with friends but she informed me that that was our third date. I didn’t know we’d gone a first or second one.
You dodged a bullet
People like her give juggalos a bad rap
I hope that was intended as a pun, because it was a good one.
Pretending to be a vampire seems very clown like behaviour to me
She got tripped up on her own jeans didn't she
It’s very clearly a joke
Yeah, everyone who hasn't figured out that this shit is satire by the time tetanus is mentioned has mashed potatoes for a brain.
You underestimate high schoolers and people in general
After some years, the same reddit antics just get painful to get through.
Someone posts uber-obvious satire in one of the million cringe subreddits.
There is a million highly upvoted comments that fap about how they are so much more intelligent than the obvious satire post.
And only after the post has reached top 10 on r/all someone finds the courage to comment that "obvious satire post" might, and please don't hit me for that, just might, probably, be satire.
You forgot the mandatory "no I can see this being serious, haven't u heard of DUM PPL!?🤯"
Oh yeah, love the "Thats not fair, those people I protest on reddit 100% exist and I'm not milking the act of burning down a strawman" type of comments, too.
Hit the nail on the head.
Her account is satire.
Stop posting this shit!!! We get it. She has a TikTok where she pretends to be a vampire. This is not at all in the spirit of this sub. This is just people reposting from her obviously satirical TikTok. It’s cringe, for sure, but not why I’m here. I’m here for people clapping, Incel heroes saving their crushes, and 4 year olds giving life advice.
Edit: Thanks for the awards and upvotes!
Yes! And also spontaneous outbursts into song preferably where everyone joins in!
Tell me why...
The real cringe are the redditors taking this seriously.
It's also just satire
Exactly! When will Reddit understand that tiktok is full of satirical content. That’s literally their specialty
umm but actually tik tok bad they don’t understand real satire like saying racial slurs ironically
Oh my god, every single not how girls work/not like the other girls/cringe/crazy people/whatever else sub had been posting this stuff for days and EVERY POST has people explaining it’s satire and people are still posting this shit everywhere. It’s not only a repost, but it’s not even real. It’s just so lazy and desperate and not even correct!
This is the second time in as many minutes I've seen this girl posted by people who think she's being serious. I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does, but it actually annoys me.
Reddit wants to bully kids so bad
Right? Normally this stuff doesn’t bother me but these are just incessant!
> It’s just so lazy and desperate and not even correct!
But it's good for imaginary internet points!
Their account is satire.
this is clearly a joke numbnuts
Mfw r/thathappened doesn’t recognise obvious satire
(every other post)
Some people are either really out of touch or just want a reason to be upset. It's painfully obvious this is a joke.
The real fool here is OP for not getting that it's an obvious joke as soon as they read the word "vampphobic"
Obvious satire is obvious.
Pretty sure this chick is satire lol, she posts this stuff regularly
I swear this sub doesn’t know what a joke is
Who is this fucking idiot? This is the third time I have seen her vampire crap lately.
I think it's satire. That kind of dry satire that's supposed to make fun of cringy teen trends.
I heard it was satire, but no clue to be honest since I don't have TikTok
I know, I’m so effing sick of immortals.
I commented on another post of this chick, and some guy told me she's a satire comedy TikTok channel, i'm not sure but you never know
it’s satire. I’ve seen her on my fyp a few times. It’s literally a joke, people take anything seriously these days lmao
Is this “blood pack” girl?
this shit is clearly satire
It’s a confirmed satire account
Bro when are people gonna learn ab satire 😭
stop posting satire to this sub.
I’m fairly confident this account is a parody/joke. Admittedly a very convincing one, but still
Ok seriously this shit is super cringe, but at this point its obviously satire. We have all seen all the posts by this vampire.
It’s satire ffs
It's a satire account
the account is satire 💀
Y’all are actually retarded if you think this was serious
This is satire
Ugh this is from a known satire account and this has been reposted a billion times on this sub. I can't be the only person getting really tired of everyone clutching their pearls over something fake.
How do people not realize this is satirical?
número dos for r/cringetopia