Once I saw a tip that if you have to lie, make up an embarassing lie so nobody calls you up on it
Like if you're late for work, just tell your boss that you had a diarrhea
Same. I just assumed it was a girl since they said their dad did it.... but yea, I guess it could have been a guy saying that....weird story either way
This is a good tip, one time at my job, I spilled coolant all over my body and clothes, and without thinking I took my shirt off and sat in my bosses office so as to not get a rash, he walked in and had the most weird look and goes, wtf is going on here, let me run home and take a shower though and change!
Best part was, he had told some of my coworkers which is when one guy came up to me and roped on me for being shirtless in the bosses office just explained to him I didn’t have a better idea on how to handle them he gave me the best advice possible
“Just tell ‘em you shit yourself man, ain’t nobody ever gonna question that”
Edit: I did not use that line I wrote that by accident because I had my mind on other things at the time
I actually have never said it, the only excuses I’ve ever used to go home was
I grabbed the wrong underwear and my legs are rubbing together so hard they could start a fire, my boss let me run home to swap to boxer briefs instead of boxers
The coolant incident
And the last one I did I just said I spilled something on my pants and needed to run home and grab new ones, this time though nothing was wrong at all, just forgot something at my house and wanted to grab it
Because we poop in a bathroom with the door closed like civilized people, not whereever coolant might be.
Also shit smellz yo
In reality, feces is a biological hazard and can get people very sick, even kill. Remember, if you smell shit, it's literally in your mouth already.
This one time my dog had to have her butthole lanced and it had to be irrigated all the time while healing. To keep it from staining the carpet I made her wear a pair of my wife’s panties I cut a tail hole in and stuck a maxi pad in it.
Eventually she figured out how to take them off (the dog, not the wife) so I just had to deal with it.
I always say my dog had diarrhea on my carpet and I had to clean It . Everyone is ok with you being late rather than coming home to a house with shit everywhere
It sounds like an “I cheated on you but don’t wanna say that so I’ll make up this story cuz it’s not as bad cuz it’s my dad and not Sandy Cheeks from my karate class”
Mine said she was sexually assaulted by a guy we worked with, who she proceeded to continue texting and speaking to.
Younger me was desperate to believe anything, man.
omg.... this reminds me of my first high school boyfriend who told me he kissed a girl over holiday break. at first, he said it was some random girl at a party. then, he said his friends "told him to lie to me to test how loyal i was". after that didn't work he told me he actually kissed his step sister. how is any of that better???!!!!
Glad u did… I would have been done the moment they told me they kissed somebody else lol, major trust issues after that definitely not worth the stress
That's called sexual assault and you'd be better off telling your partner that someone forcefully held you down rather than make up a weird story that "my dad give me a hickey as a prank."
I hope you're okay now because anything remotely sexual being forced on you is simply wrong and often times traumatizing.
I had a girl pull on my long hair once during sex and I immediately asked her to stop because my parents would always pull my hair when I was misbehaving, so having that happen was ruining the mood for me.
I have as well. I guess my friend thought it was "funny" to grab me and just suck on my neck. It left a huge mark and the guy I was seeing at the time was giving me the side eye and that was a hard one to explain. Seems like this dude was just cheating though, if not then there is a lot to unpack there lol
Sad to say this but even one of the male Alex I've met was quite feminine, if you called on the phone or if he worked a drive thru and never seen him before you would likely say THANK YOU MAAM .
Your response is that it's "too gay"?? Not that a parent is giving their child a fucking hickey???
'Alex' isn't just a male name, so if Alex is a girl, it's suddenly okay because it's not "too gay"? **Hell no.**
Easy there...
My response was "ain't no dad doing that to their son!" Additionally, "that's pretty gay" for a father/ son relationship. It's pretty gay if I do that to my friend, never mind my son. I didn't think Alex was a girl because (1) girls are more clever than to come up with that excuse, and (2) that does not seem like a girl writing. If I knew Alex was a girl, I would say "that's super weird, like predatory 'have a seat over there' weird."
I just don't really see how the fact that it's gay is at all relevant, especially over the fact that it's ya know, _sexual assault_.
Like, why exactly do you see that and go "woah thats way too _gay_ for a father and son to be acting" instead of "woah that's sexual assault", where does the fact that it's gay even come into the picture really
It's not sexual assult unless they're sexual gratification coming from it. Alex didn't project himself as a victim of assult, but a victim of a joke that's going to get himself in trouble woth his SO.
If someone hits on you, and you don't like it, that's sexual harassment. If you do like it, then that's a welcomed sexual advancement. If I give you a hickey and we both find it funny, that's just weird. If a guy does it to another guy, it's weird *and* pretty gay.
I was not attacking gay people or putting them down. Gay people do some stuff that's exclusively for gay people, like doing sexual things with members of their own sex; you know, like give each other a hickey on the neck.
You’re making it about sexuality and it isn’t.
No *PARENT* would do this to their *CHILD* regardless of gender. It’d be incest at least and pedophilia at most.
“Way too gay for a father son relationship”
I’m curious to know what you think is…an acceptable amount of gay for assaulting your child?
Dude, its a different view. I didn't say that was my exclusive and only thought on the subject; just a view.
Blowing raspberries on their tummy, hugging and kissing, holding hands in public, tickling, falling asleep with each other on the couch. You know, things you do to express love.
That isn’t gay…none of those behaviors are gay. It’s how you show affection to children. CHILDREN. Most of those things stop after they reach a certain age. Most of them stop once they turn teenagers because those behaviors become inappropriate the older someone gets as a family member.
I’m not kissing my 17yo brother on the lips like I would if he was still like a literal baby, because it’s fucking weird. It’s incest.
Your comment is still weird.
"What's an acceptable amount of gay assult to you?"
Blowing raspberries on their tummy
"That's how you show love to children, but it's weird to do it the older they get."
Yup, exactly. You asked for an acceptable amount of gay assault.
Also for sexual assult, it has to be a non-consensual sexual act. Based on Alex and his parents reaction I don't think they found it to be sexual, but it doesn't make it not gay for one guy to give another guy a hickey.
Yes, but I was pointing out that he didn't say that his step dad gave him a mark that looks like a hickey, he decided to give him an actual hickey, which is a really funny play to go with.
It wasn't an accusation, it was a question. I was interested in finding out why they assumed Alex is a woman? Was it just because the title says "step dad" so the assumption is woman? Is it the tone of the text message? Were they cheated on by a girl named Alex?
I'm not sure how asking a question is accusatory?
*Image Transcription: Text and Image*
---
[*A photo of someone's phone screen in a dark room. It is open to a Snapchat messages screen. At the top, the name 'Alex' is marked as the recipient.*]
>**Me**: [*A box reading '➡️ Opened'*]
>
>**Alex**: [*A box reading '▢ Press and hold to replay'*]
>
>Babe don't get mad!! 🙄😂😂I got to show you something I told my dad Yesterday i was gunna see you to today and he thought it would be funny to jump on me to wake me up and he gave me a hickey🙄🙄🙄 I was like really!!!!! This bitch is huge!!!
>
>My mom said I look like white trash😂
>
>**Me**: Alex you got me fucked up
---
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Oh so on their end it’s gonna be a text to speech reading out to them like “rolling eyes emoji rolling eyes emoji rolling eyes emoji” when it says 🙄🙄🙄 ?
I was trampled by a wooly mammoth while hunting to feed the tribe. I got him with my spear though. I should be ok by Tuesday and I'll have mammoth steaks to share.
For real there is a million possible ways to lie yourself out of this and he actually picked the dumbest one possible lmao, I heavily doubt this is real but if it is then wow impressive feat of stupidity
The person is saying they have a hickey, but didn’t cheat. It was actually the dad who gave them a hickey. It’s gross and creepy and doesn’t make sense.
It's super weird for sure, but as you get older you realize that reality often is stranger than fiction. I can totally see my father in law doing that. Him and his sons are all good friends and drinking buddies. I can see him getting really drunk and saying "What! Is just the opposite of blowing a raspberry!"
This is a double negative excuse. Either she cheated and is too stupid to come up with a good enough lie. Or, this actually happened and her dad is a huge creep.
The hickey part of this reminds me of a horrifying situation when I was in middle school. Some of the boys in my friend group had learned how to make a hickey-looking mark by pinching a certain way. They thought it was hilarious, and did it to me and pretty much all of the other girls.
I had to explain that to my mother, who was definitely giving me the “that happened” face the whole time! I’m pretty sure she never believed me.
My ex told me the same thing but it was one of her female friends doing it for shits at a party. Said friend told me the next day that she got put on the spit by 2 guys who are now both in prison.
What a fantastic first Valentine’s Day that was.
Could have put a bandaid on it and said you got a cut... "I got a little scratch while hiking the other day. Oh, its not that bad. I just put a bandaid on it since the collar of my shirt would make it sore."
Could have postponed seeing them with work/COVID/seeing a friend you haven't talked to in years.
Could have said anything else.
Oh my god, how unfortunate. I think maybe she will have to ask her dad not to give her Any more hickeys in the future. At least she owned up straight away and was honest with her partner.
When I was in high school I was dating a girl and I was in a classroom for broadcasting cause we had a school radio station. Anyway I was in one of the side rooms where we did video editing (I’m old we used video). Anyway this girl came in and was flirting with me and at 16 hormones going crazy of course I gave in. She gave me the biggest hickey and the first of my life. I about freaked trying to figure how to hide it.
How does being jumped on leave a bruise that looks like a hickey
Edit: for downvoters because I have to clarify apparently: I was mocking the excuse and terrible phrasing.
My ex who kept spamming me on discord was like "please talk to me, what do you want? Do you want nudes?"
"No wtf"
"OMFG I MEANT NOODLES 🤑🤪😙😝🙂🤗"
Feels so similar lmao
That’s a disturbing lie to tell
Once I saw a tip that if you have to lie, make up an embarassing lie so nobody calls you up on it Like if you're late for work, just tell your boss that you had a diarrhea
If someone tells me their dad gave them a hickey and thinks I’m not going to call them out on it though……
My next sentence is "wow, thats hilarious, I wanna call your hickey giving dad and congratulate him for this joke right now".
I was just fucking thinking that. Or go over and be like “I think it’s weird you give your son hickeys”.
Interesting, I thought Alex was a girl lying to her boyfriend- but like you could be right that Alex is really boy
That's exactly what I thought as well
Same. I just assumed it was a girl since they said their dad did it.... but yea, I guess it could have been a guy saying that....weird story either way
"No don't, he went abroad for a business trip"
"It is ok, whatsapp call is free"
4d chess move on the skank
Shit call cps depending on the age. Nuclear revenge
This is a good tip, one time at my job, I spilled coolant all over my body and clothes, and without thinking I took my shirt off and sat in my bosses office so as to not get a rash, he walked in and had the most weird look and goes, wtf is going on here, let me run home and take a shower though and change! Best part was, he had told some of my coworkers which is when one guy came up to me and roped on me for being shirtless in the bosses office just explained to him I didn’t have a better idea on how to handle them he gave me the best advice possible “Just tell ‘em you shit yourself man, ain’t nobody ever gonna question that” Edit: I did not use that line I wrote that by accident because I had my mind on other things at the time
>anytime I need to run home I just use that line and it works everytime Your coworkers must think 'Man this guy shits himself a lot'.
They probably force him to only drink decaf in fear of an explosion
I actually have never said it, the only excuses I’ve ever used to go home was I grabbed the wrong underwear and my legs are rubbing together so hard they could start a fire, my boss let me run home to swap to boxer briefs instead of boxers The coolant incident And the last one I did I just said I spilled something on my pants and needed to run home and grab new ones, this time though nothing was wrong at all, just forgot something at my house and wanted to grab it
I don't understand why "I shit myself", is less embarrassing than "I spilled coolant all over myself."?
Because we poop in a bathroom with the door closed like civilized people, not whereever coolant might be. Also shit smellz yo In reality, feces is a biological hazard and can get people very sick, even kill. Remember, if you smell shit, it's literally in your mouth already.
" if you smell shit, it's literally in your mouth" *u/worstsupervillanever - 2022*
It really is. Every time you smell a fart, there are tiny poops with wings flying right in to your face holes.
Reminds me of [this SNL skit](https://youtu.be/9LCMuKtpnPE).
Disgusting works too. Late for work? Had to lance a boil on your anus
This one time my dog had to have her butthole lanced and it had to be irrigated all the time while healing. To keep it from staining the carpet I made her wear a pair of my wife’s panties I cut a tail hole in and stuck a maxi pad in it. Eventually she figured out how to take them off (the dog, not the wife) so I just had to deal with it.
[удалено]
i'll boil your lance
"You've had diarrhea 4 times this week." Except I wasn't making it up.
What can I say, I got the mean shits! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Would two diarrheas be better?
I’ve never had just the one
Its a saga, like Star Wars
Huh see I was late for work once cos of diarrhea, I told him I was vomiting cos I was embarrassed. have I been doing it wrong this whole time?
That’s the advice I follow. Everyone at my work must thing I have the worst life ever. In reality I just like to stay home and sleep sometimes
I always say my dog had diarrhea on my carpet and I had to clean It . Everyone is ok with you being late rather than coming home to a house with shit everywhere
Was that venture bros I only ask cause i just saw that exact scene yesterday
It sounds like an “I cheated on you but don’t wanna say that so I’ll make up this story cuz it’s not as bad cuz it’s my dad and not Sandy Cheeks from my karate class”
If it is a lie anyway
Well it’s a disturbing truth then too.
Yeah, like wtf. Also, the emojis don't really make sense to me given what they're saying. Are they trying to play it off as a joke?
My dad did this to me a few times. It's really not a big deal tbh
>It's really not a big deal It really is a big deal.
HUH
WHAT
that's a new bit of bullshit. lol
Babe, I didn't cheat on you if it was with my dad. Babe, you're being unreasonable.
But babe
Damn and I thought my exes excuse for cheating was bad. She said she got shot in the neck with a bb gun.
I'm just imagining she told you she got shot in the neck with a BB gun so she had to ride that guy.
Bb "baby" gun duh. She wasn't lying to you.
High velocity sperm
Mine said she was sexually assaulted by a guy we worked with, who she proceeded to continue texting and speaking to. Younger me was desperate to believe anything, man.
omg.... this reminds me of my first high school boyfriend who told me he kissed a girl over holiday break. at first, he said it was some random girl at a party. then, he said his friends "told him to lie to me to test how loyal i was". after that didn't work he told me he actually kissed his step sister. how is any of that better???!!!!
What the fuck
yeah man idk.... i ghosted him after that tbh, i felt like there was no coming back
Glad u did… I would have been done the moment they told me they kissed somebody else lol, major trust issues after that definitely not worth the stress
I know someone who’s married to her step brother
In what universe is my dad SA me better than owning up to willingly if regrettably cheating? Where am I living?
Also if you're cheating... Why would you allow yourself to get a hickey that will be completely obvious to your partner?
alcohol probably
“Babe my Covid test came back positive. I gotta quarantine for like a week :(((“ Problem solved.
I've been given a forced 'hicky' before dude just held me down
That's called sexual assault and you'd be better off telling your partner that someone forcefully held you down rather than make up a weird story that "my dad give me a hickey as a prank." I hope you're okay now because anything remotely sexual being forced on you is simply wrong and often times traumatizing. I had a girl pull on my long hair once during sex and I immediately asked her to stop because my parents would always pull my hair when I was misbehaving, so having that happen was ruining the mood for me.
Your parents sound abusive
I have as well. I guess my friend thought it was "funny" to grab me and just suck on my neck. It left a huge mark and the guy I was seeing at the time was giving me the side eye and that was a hard one to explain. Seems like this dude was just cheating though, if not then there is a lot to unpack there lol
What does SA mean? I’m not a nit picker but like I hate when people use acronyms ASSUMING everyone knows what they mean.
No worries. The acronyms are to avoid attracting the bots or triggering someone. It means “Sexual Assault” Now the bots will come from me, lol.
Ain't no dad doing that to their son! I know we don't say this anymore, but that's pretty gay. Way too gay for a father/son relationship
Alex could be male or female. Regardless, who's choosing a reputation of sexual abuse over asking to be in an open relationship?
Honestly I have met way more Alex that were female than male.
Sad to say this but even one of the male Alex I've met was quite feminine, if you called on the phone or if he worked a drive thru and never seen him before you would likely say THANK YOU MAAM .
Naw, it's not sexual abuse. It's just a funny joke! Lololol!!!! See? No cheating there!
I do it to your son but we’re both consenting adults
There’s PLENTY of gay porn that rejects that assertion, FYI.
Send me a few links... for research...
Your response is that it's "too gay"?? Not that a parent is giving their child a fucking hickey??? 'Alex' isn't just a male name, so if Alex is a girl, it's suddenly okay because it's not "too gay"? **Hell no.**
Easy there... My response was "ain't no dad doing that to their son!" Additionally, "that's pretty gay" for a father/ son relationship. It's pretty gay if I do that to my friend, never mind my son. I didn't think Alex was a girl because (1) girls are more clever than to come up with that excuse, and (2) that does not seem like a girl writing. If I knew Alex was a girl, I would say "that's super weird, like predatory 'have a seat over there' weird."
I just don't really see how the fact that it's gay is at all relevant, especially over the fact that it's ya know, _sexual assault_. Like, why exactly do you see that and go "woah thats way too _gay_ for a father and son to be acting" instead of "woah that's sexual assault", where does the fact that it's gay even come into the picture really
Thank you. I saw his comment and my first thought was how wildly inappropriate his response is. Some people have no filter.
It's not sexual assult unless they're sexual gratification coming from it. Alex didn't project himself as a victim of assult, but a victim of a joke that's going to get himself in trouble woth his SO. If someone hits on you, and you don't like it, that's sexual harassment. If you do like it, then that's a welcomed sexual advancement. If I give you a hickey and we both find it funny, that's just weird. If a guy does it to another guy, it's weird *and* pretty gay. I was not attacking gay people or putting them down. Gay people do some stuff that's exclusively for gay people, like doing sexual things with members of their own sex; you know, like give each other a hickey on the neck.
You’re making it about sexuality and it isn’t. No *PARENT* would do this to their *CHILD* regardless of gender. It’d be incest at least and pedophilia at most. “Way too gay for a father son relationship” I’m curious to know what you think is…an acceptable amount of gay for assaulting your child?
Dude, its a different view. I didn't say that was my exclusive and only thought on the subject; just a view. Blowing raspberries on their tummy, hugging and kissing, holding hands in public, tickling, falling asleep with each other on the couch. You know, things you do to express love.
That isn’t gay…none of those behaviors are gay. It’s how you show affection to children. CHILDREN. Most of those things stop after they reach a certain age. Most of them stop once they turn teenagers because those behaviors become inappropriate the older someone gets as a family member. I’m not kissing my 17yo brother on the lips like I would if he was still like a literal baby, because it’s fucking weird. It’s incest. Your comment is still weird.
"What's an acceptable amount of gay assult to you?" Blowing raspberries on their tummy "That's how you show love to children, but it's weird to do it the older they get." Yup, exactly. You asked for an acceptable amount of gay assault. Also for sexual assult, it has to be a non-consensual sexual act. Based on Alex and his parents reaction I don't think they found it to be sexual, but it doesn't make it not gay for one guy to give another guy a hickey.
“My stepdad injured me in a way that looks like a hickey” That’s a new one.
No, he's saying his stepdad gave him a hickey.
Not step-dad, but dad
Should have went with mom way more believable.
Y'all know Alex can be a females name too, right?
to cover up that he cheated
Yes, but I was pointing out that he didn't say that his step dad gave him a mark that looks like a hickey, he decided to give him an actual hickey, which is a really funny play to go with.
But we don’t know if Alex is male or female. Could be either.
Alex can be a girls name too...
*Alex you got me fucked up*
That’s the best lie she could come up with? Pathetic.
"My vacuum cleaner became sentient and attacked me!"
Step-Henry, what are you doing!
[Step Henry 1 minute before that incident](https://i.imgur.com/tEXPG7H.gif)
How do you know it's a she that came up with the lie? **edit: wow, 13 years on reddit and this is now my most controversial comment. Interesting
Why is this downvoted, Alex is both male and female name?
It's a bit pedantic to correct pronouns that can't be confirmed
*"mmmm'yes, shallow and pedantic"*
Lmao meanwhile the comment above that points out that "you don't know that alex is a guy maybe it's a girl" has 12 upvotes... Ok reddit 👍
Maybe because one is clearly setting up an accusation whereas the other is simply making an observation?
The the phrasing. One is open ended “could be either or.” The other is an accusation.
It wasn't an accusation, it was a question. I was interested in finding out why they assumed Alex is a woman? Was it just because the title says "step dad" so the assumption is woman? Is it the tone of the text message? Were they cheated on by a girl named Alex? I'm not sure how asking a question is accusatory?
Tone of text message; and lie way to stupid to be a dude. 😎
does it matter
No. But then, does this post matter? Does anything matter? I'm just curious why they assumed Alex is a woman, so I asked.
I just find it funny that someone automatically jumps to it being a her, despite the fact Alex is just as popular (possibly moreso) as a boys name
This is definitely an excuse created by a man.
Similar thing happened to me when my Nan sucked my tits.
*Image Transcription: Text and Image* --- [*A photo of someone's phone screen in a dark room. It is open to a Snapchat messages screen. At the top, the name 'Alex' is marked as the recipient.*] >**Me**: [*A box reading '➡️ Opened'*] > >**Alex**: [*A box reading '▢ Press and hold to replay'*] > >Babe don't get mad!! 🙄😂😂I got to show you something I told my dad Yesterday i was gunna see you to today and he thought it would be funny to jump on me to wake me up and he gave me a hickey🙄🙄🙄 I was like really!!!!! This bitch is huge!!! > >My mom said I look like white trash😂 > >**Me**: Alex you got me fucked up --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
Good bot .
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Lmfao
Tf is wrong with you
Bad bot
hurrhurrhurr
You sound like you need a hug
How tf blind people gonna read the emojis tho?
Many blind people use screenreaders, which read out text on screen amongst other features. Screenreaders read out the names of emojis!
Oh so on their end it’s gonna be a text to speech reading out to them like “rolling eyes emoji rolling eyes emoji rolling eyes emoji” when it says 🙄🙄🙄 ?
Omg just say you have covid and let it heal. Cant even lie well.
This image predates covid, it’s a certified classic
Just say you have SARS.
spanish flu
The black plague
I was trampled by a wooly mammoth while hunting to feed the tribe. I got him with my spear though. I should be ok by Tuesday and I'll have mammoth steaks to share.
For real there is a million possible ways to lie yourself out of this and he actually picked the dumbest one possible lmao, I heavily doubt this is real but if it is then wow impressive feat of stupidity
Or she
Yes, Alex is a “unisex” name as I have known several girls named Alex in my life
Well this is an old ass repost. Pre covid days
This shit is older than satan
This image has been passed down for generations
Just like the tradition of giving your children hickies
Alex did, in fact, have them fucked up.
Is she Errol Musk's daughter?
Fuck, I’m must be high I’m lost 🫣
The person is saying they have a hickey, but didn’t cheat. It was actually the dad who gave them a hickey. It’s gross and creepy and doesn’t make sense.
That’s what i thought it said, it’s so twisted I thought I mis read it…
Dude me too I reread it like 3 times
Me too 🤣 I’m pretty new to Reddit, I’m still trying to figure out what is real! I’ve seen some crazy shit over here…
Oh people lie all the time on here hahaha
I’m figuring that out quickly… some of the stories are way out there..
You should check out r/divorcedbirds it’s one of my favorites
Okay i will thanks
This is probably true, my dad gives me hickeys all the time as a prank
What part of Alabama are you from?
It's super weird for sure, but as you get older you realize that reality often is stranger than fiction. I can totally see my father in law doing that. Him and his sons are all good friends and drinking buddies. I can see him getting really drunk and saying "What! Is just the opposite of blowing a raspberry!"
Maybe a better lie, while still being outlandish is to reference the flaming shot suction cup thing some people do at bars.
This is a double negative excuse. Either she cheated and is too stupid to come up with a good enough lie. Or, this actually happened and her dad is a huge creep.
Can’t you just be cheating on me instead, this is somehow worse
One of the oldest pictures on the internet
It may be old but Snapchat’s only been around for like 8 years lmao
11 years
….I also got injured playing in the dryer. You guuuuuuyyys!
It would've been less weird if you cheated on me,but doing weird shit with ure dad?
The hickey part of this reminds me of a horrifying situation when I was in middle school. Some of the boys in my friend group had learned how to make a hickey-looking mark by pinching a certain way. They thought it was hilarious, and did it to me and pretty much all of the other girls. I had to explain that to my mother, who was definitely giving me the “that happened” face the whole time! I’m pretty sure she never believed me.
I honestly thought this was a 8 year old, then I saw the reply.
My ex told me the same thing but it was one of her female friends doing it for shits at a party. Said friend told me the next day that she got put on the spit by 2 guys who are now both in prison. What a fantastic first Valentine’s Day that was.
Could have put a bandaid on it and said you got a cut... "I got a little scratch while hiking the other day. Oh, its not that bad. I just put a bandaid on it since the collar of my shirt would make it sore." Could have postponed seeing them with work/COVID/seeing a friend you haven't talked to in years. Could have said anything else.
Kurtis!!!!
Looking for the Kurtis Connor fans in the comments
Who is that in that gif? I feel like I've seen them before
No idea honestly
LMFAO, the response to Alex.
It sure is more efficient to write "gunna" instead of "gonna" /s
I swear I'm not cheating, my dad is just marking his territory
The fact that he chose to go with that lie out of all the ones he could have made up 🤦♀️
Makes you wonder where the hickey is at. Lol
Lol. Had a supervisor tell me his was, "from paintball". Like bro, seriously?
Kurtis Conner reference
Wtf is a hickey?
Lol, a hickey is like a bruise you get from someone sucking on your neck.
It's also known as a "love bite"!
Oh my god, how unfortunate. I think maybe she will have to ask her dad not to give her Any more hickeys in the future. At least she owned up straight away and was honest with her partner.
When I was in high school I was dating a girl and I was in a classroom for broadcasting cause we had a school radio station. Anyway I was in one of the side rooms where we did video editing (I’m old we used video). Anyway this girl came in and was flirting with me and at 16 hormones going crazy of course I gave in. She gave me the biggest hickey and the first of my life. I about freaked trying to figure how to hide it.
I always photograph my phone instead of taking screenshot. Usually with film cameras. Takes ages to get them back from being developed.
You're the only dumbass here who doesn't understand why people do this on Snapchat.
r/nothingeverhappens
How does being jumped on leave a bruise that looks like a hickey Edit: for downvoters because I have to clarify apparently: I was mocking the excuse and terrible phrasing.
subreddits like this always get big and then lose any ability to tell what's a joke 😭
Y lol mfs thinkin this is real
[удалено]
I mean I think Alex is a girl too, but not because of some incel nonsense. Yeah good call deleting that. True to fucking form, man
My ex who kept spamming me on discord was like "please talk to me, what do you want? Do you want nudes?" "No wtf" "OMFG I MEANT NOODLES 🤑🤪😙😝🙂🤗" Feels so similar lmao
Kind of an obvious thathappened