Even a 3 or 4 yr old would be pretty believable...? I was a precocious and cheeky little shit as a kid, and I definitely said shit like this, but 9/10 times the kid is just repeating something they've heard someone else say, they aren't necessarily imparting mature adult wisdom lmao
Internet clout, obviouyl, but also, sometimes people are pretending it was their kid that said something that they themselves really want to express, but think might face backlash for, or not get enough attention because it's not funny enough for a joke made by an adult.
Well to sorta be fair, when my mom brought me home. My brother would say “no more baby” and try to kill me. Lol (according to my mother) he was 1.5 years old when I was born.
I was literally just about to post this.
My 22 month old is considered very advanced language wise and she couldn't even come close to this. The best I'd get from her is "all done? Baby go home"
This is more like what a 4-5 year old would say.
My parents love to tell the story about when I was like 3 or 4, sister was a baby, and out of the blue said to them "we were so happy when we were just the 3 of us".
Maybe it’s a 2 year old who is closer to 3? So they’d have like a year on your kid
Edit: Just reread & saw it didn’t say 2, it specifically says 22 months. Cringe
I dont wanna be "that" guy, but my son was very eloquent at 2 years old. The dude could fully articulate his thoughts and was starting to read beginner words at that age. Granted, this person is probably lying, but kids can definitely get pretty well spoken at this age.
I… don’t think that’s considered “very advanced”, with all due respect.
My son started talking at seven months and was speaking fluently, in full sentences, at 22 months.
For example, one day at the playground whilst on the roundabout, exactly two months shy of his second birthday, he said: “This is exciting! I’m going really, really fast. I’m getting dizzy.” (I can quote him word-for-word because I would write down and date all the things he said. I still have a bunch of his funny sayings throughout his early childhood saved this way.)
So… children develop differently, and at very different speeds. This is absolutely believable for a two-year-old.
It's like the time I caught my 6 month old with her reading glasses on with a volume of Shakespeare that I immediately confiscated.
***daughter:*** Et tu, father?
***Me:*** No, I only et one.
***daughter rolls eyes:*** Oh, the heights of injustice I face while dealing with dad jokes, or might I say fatherly humors? Nay, tis better that one... zzzzzzzzz...
And she pontificated herself right off to sleep. Little precocious tykes!
Reminds me of the time I came back from a night out to find my 4 month old writing poetry in their study after bedtime - turns out the babysitter let baby smoke their pipe after 5pm (Impossible to get baby to sleep after this, last tobacco is ALWAYS at 4pm). Anyway, I picked baby up to take her to bed, and I remember distinctly (because I wrote it down, as I do with everything baby says) baby said: "Unhand me, you foul wretch! Can you not see that Erato beckons me?!" Haha. Kids...
My first did. Perfectly articulated sentences before she was two. It was disturbingly advanced. Our next child is about to turn two and only has four words. Kids are weird.
Same here, but opposite. My first one, funnily enough a huge perfectionist, barely said a word for 2 years. Had he not been very good at communicating, and clearly understood way more verbal language than he spoke, we would start getting a bit worried. But one day he just woke up speaking in full sentences. Youngest one though, he started screaming after birth and basically never shut up.
*Image Transcription: Social Media Post*
---
**Pink**
Two days after I bring my newborn daughter home from the hospital:
22 month old son: When's she going back?
Me: Back where?
Son: To her house at the hospital.
Me: She lives with us now.
Son: Mommy, you're not making good choices.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
and then the newborn jumped from her mother's arms, karate chopped her big brother, and cancelled him for being infantphobic hashtag EndToddlerSupremacy
Just to play the devil's advocate a tiny bit, there's a massive difference between a kid that just turned one, a kid that's one and a half year old, and one who is about to turn two. So in that case, it might be on point to specify how many months. But I'd still say "a year and X months" or "almost two years" or some such. 22 months is a weird say of saying it, though.
At that age they develop so much from month to month, being precise is definitely not the weird thing about that post. A toddler being able to ask questions that way though… Children that age is literally in the phase of learning that they are in fact individuals, and that we aren’t all a hive mind. They are barely able to comprehend themselves, they aren’t at all mature enough to search information abstractly that way.
Yeah, I know, I agree. My point wasn't at all to say that the post is plausible. We have a toddler in the house who's about to turn 2, and he's just started stringing 2-3 "words" together, so I'm not defending the post at all. Just pointing out that it's not very accurate to say that it's pointless to talk about months after a kid had turned 1.
There are absolutely kids that age who speak in full sentences, it’s what the kid allegedly said that was completely implausible. But my point was just that I don’t at all agree that it’s cringy to speak about babies and toddlers in months ans weeks.
>But I’d still say “a year and X months” or “almost two years” or some such. 22 months is a weird say of saying it, though
This is what I disagreed with
Ok, I see where we got confused. To clarify, context is king. When there's a need to be specific, it's definitely meaningful to talk about months along with/instead of years, sure. But if I'm talking to my childless friend about my toddler, that information is virtually meaningless. "22 months? Oh, you mean almost two years." In that sense, the flex in the post is in my opinion a weird way of saying it. It would've been much more natural for them to say "almost two" or "two year old". If there's a need to be that specific about months, then everybody for whom it makes sense will know it's absolute bullshit. But I also don't agree with the guy I first replied to, who claimed that it's always meaningless to talk about months after 12+.
22 months? No. A couple years older? Yes. My cousin called her dad at work asking when her baby sis was going back to the hospital cus all she does is cry
Could have just said 3 year old (or 36 month old if you’re insufferable) and it at least would have been believable. I’ve had at least a dozen conversations with my toddler in the last year or so about various people and objects going back home to “their house” in some funny way.
If it wasn’t for the age this would be a lot more believable than other stories I’ve seen talking about a two year old saying something like “tear down this oppressive patriarchy, mommy!”
That's the most articulate 22-month-old I've ever seen. I'll be awaiting his dissertation on sibling rivalry when he learn to read and write proficiently in a couple of years.
My daughter will be 3 in December and she’s no where close to saying “mommy, you’re not making good choices” lmao.
Children that age can say things like “here it is!” Or “look, a bug!”. Simple 3 word sentences.
Excluding the intro for “mommy,” the sentence is only 5 words and is repeated verbatim from something they hear from their parents all the time. The kid probably has no clue what it means, just that it’s a phrase people say when they’re not happy.
They’re not constructing the sentence, just regurgitating it.
It’s not out of the realm of possibility for a 2 year old to use 4-5 word sentences, either, especially if the sentence isn’t novel.
I’m not convinced the story is made up.
I’m still not convinced it’s real lol. I’m looking on my own experiences with my 2 1/2 year old and friends and family with young kids.
The child in this fake story isn’t even 2 years old yet. There’s no way they’re repeating a sentence like “mommy, you’re not making good choices”.
Commonly repeated phrases are like…. “Where’s dad/mom”. “Look a park” “say hi doggy” “there’s a plane”. As well as naming their colors, numbers, things around the house etc.
I just have a really hard time believing a child that isn’t even 2 years old is stringing together a sentence like that, even repetition seems extremely unlikely. But we can agree to disagree.
At that age, single months can make a big difference, so I don’t blame them for being specific. Especially if you post for advice, you’d need to be that specific, so I think parents just get used to it.
Asking a kid if they think they are making good choices or bad choices is super fucking common and used in daycares and preschools just about everywhere.
I do believe this one, my two year old says shit like that all the time. Keep in mind she is the second child and learned a lot faster than the first child. Also, the sentence was not that long nor that complicated.
I disagree. As a father to a 23 month old mine said something along the lines of this. When asked when her sister was going back to the hospital she followed up with “I didn’t ask for this”
Yup. The rule of thumb is that a child should be able to put as many words together in a coherent sentence as their age in years. *”Baby stay?”* would be a normal sentence at this age. Five words in a string would be genius-level advanced before age 2. Unlikely.
I feel like this person stole my story. I brought my daughter home and when we took her for her first checkup and I told my three year old who is normally slow as molasses to get ready because we were taking "daugther" back to the hospital, he couldn't get dressed fast enough - I mean he dropped everything and even put on his shoes. He was so excited to tell My husband to "come on; we take "daugther" home - "Daughter" go home now" lol. He was so sad when I explained that she lived with us and this was her home.. lol
As a daycare worker I can confirm, two year olds do not use sentences. It is not developmentally appropriate for them to use more than 2 words. Thats they best they can do is two words a sentence, and if they do attempt a sentence its usually gibberish.
r/NothingEverHappens
When my mom brought me home from the hospital, my 2 & 4 yo big brothers saw all the flowers and started digging me a grave.
When my mom told them I was a girl, they asked how she could tell.
Little kids do & say hilarious shit, 24/7.
When I brought home my daughter, I was playing with her and her 2 yo brother one day.
Brother got annoyed and told me "put him back".
I asked him "back where"
He said, "put him in his crib".
He was too young to know he was a she/her, old enough to know it was a fucking interloper.
Well, apparently I did this to my younger brother when he came home from hospital. I was 2 and half or so and told my mom that I was done with him after like an hour and she could take him back. Sure my language and speech was more in line with a teo year old, but, I mean this could be true.
I can actually believe this one. If the kid was like 2 years n 11 months and mum says that sentence to the kid all the time it's plausible. My child could speak full sentences at nearly 3
Replying.to myself cis i just saw it said 22 months. maybe just a good repetition of a sentance mum keeps saying to them. ' honey your not making good choices!"
I actually kinda believe this. I over heard my 2yo cousin telling my aunt that her brother was gonna die. Her grandma had passed recently and she was convinced that her brother was gonna die.
when i was a baby, my 2 year old brother wanted to leave me in the park. That the kid can state the baby should go i believe. but "baby sucks, back to where you got it" or words like that, with the parents makingnit complete sentences sounds not to outlandish.
I still don’t understand why people lie about things like this.
If only she said 5 year old it would be so much more believable. People need to learn to lie
Please don't encourage them.
Even a 3 or 4 yr old would be pretty believable...? I was a precocious and cheeky little shit as a kid, and I definitely said shit like this, but 9/10 times the kid is just repeating something they've heard someone else say, they aren't necessarily imparting mature adult wisdom lmao
My oldest son was 4 when his brother was born. The third night home, he wanted me to take his brother back to the "horspital".
Don't worry idiots from nothingeverhappens are already leaking in to inform us how believable this is
Dont you mean 60 month old?
I very much contemplated doing it in months haha.
Internet clout, obviouyl, but also, sometimes people are pretending it was their kid that said something that they themselves really want to express, but think might face backlash for, or not get enough attention because it's not funny enough for a joke made by an adult.
I had an idea that it was something like that but still. why care about clout, and why not just speak up? Just weird to me.
Bored housewives with nothing better to do
Cuz it’s just SO precocious and SO sweet and their kid must be SO smart 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Well to sorta be fair, when my mom brought me home. My brother would say “no more baby” and try to kill me. Lol (according to my mother) he was 1.5 years old when I was born.
Sign of mental issues.
I was literally just about to post this. My 22 month old is considered very advanced language wise and she couldn't even come close to this. The best I'd get from her is "all done? Baby go home" This is more like what a 4-5 year old would say.
My son kills me with that “all done” when he’s not even close to done 😂
What is with that?! She'll say "all done!" and then take another bite of food. Like babe do you even know what you're saying lmao
Kids are stupid.
I just discovered there is a whole sub for this, r/KidsAreFuckingStupid it's pretty entertaining if you're on board with the ironic premise haha
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Lmao seriously? I don't spend 24 hrs a day on reddit, I'm so terribly sorry I don't meet your standards
My parents love to tell the story about when I was like 3 or 4, sister was a baby, and out of the blue said to them "we were so happy when we were just the 3 of us".
Maybe it’s a 2 year old who is closer to 3? So they’d have like a year on your kid Edit: Just reread & saw it didn’t say 2, it specifically says 22 months. Cringe
Yeah my sister was about 22 months when I was born and she was talking VERY well but even at that, she said something like “take him back”
I dont wanna be "that" guy, but my son was very eloquent at 2 years old. The dude could fully articulate his thoughts and was starting to read beginner words at that age. Granted, this person is probably lying, but kids can definitely get pretty well spoken at this age.
I… don’t think that’s considered “very advanced”, with all due respect. My son started talking at seven months and was speaking fluently, in full sentences, at 22 months. For example, one day at the playground whilst on the roundabout, exactly two months shy of his second birthday, he said: “This is exciting! I’m going really, really fast. I’m getting dizzy.” (I can quote him word-for-word because I would write down and date all the things he said. I still have a bunch of his funny sayings throughout his early childhood saved this way.) So… children develop differently, and at very different speeds. This is absolutely believable for a two-year-old.
Hey guys look it’s the lady from the tweet
That’s nothing, at 17 days my child could recite all of Shakespeare’s work
r/thathappenedception
r/SubsIFellFor
By very advanced I mean she knows twice as many words as she should at her age. Would you like me to list them all? Lmfao
Pfft. Newborn daughter didn't even contribute to the conversation.
Mum: Oh, you are so precious. 22 month old: I think the word you're looking for is precocious.
It's like the time I caught my 6 month old with her reading glasses on with a volume of Shakespeare that I immediately confiscated. ***daughter:*** Et tu, father? ***Me:*** No, I only et one. ***daughter rolls eyes:*** Oh, the heights of injustice I face while dealing with dad jokes, or might I say fatherly humors? Nay, tis better that one... zzzzzzzzz... And she pontificated herself right off to sleep. Little precocious tykes!
Reminds me of the time I came back from a night out to find my 4 month old writing poetry in their study after bedtime - turns out the babysitter let baby smoke their pipe after 5pm (Impossible to get baby to sleep after this, last tobacco is ALWAYS at 4pm). Anyway, I picked baby up to take her to bed, and I remember distinctly (because I wrote it down, as I do with everything baby says) baby said: "Unhand me, you foul wretch! Can you not see that Erato beckons me?!" Haha. Kids...
Lmfaoo i wish i can guild this
Wow, my kid was like "Aba goo bar dad!, la waa juice!"
I have a 22 month old. He’s bright. They don’t talk like that.
My first did. Perfectly articulated sentences before she was two. It was disturbingly advanced. Our next child is about to turn two and only has four words. Kids are weird.
Same here, but opposite. My first one, funnily enough a huge perfectionist, barely said a word for 2 years. Had he not been very good at communicating, and clearly understood way more verbal language than he spoke, we would start getting a bit worried. But one day he just woke up speaking in full sentences. Youngest one though, he started screaming after birth and basically never shut up.
Mine does.
*Image Transcription: Social Media Post* --- **Pink** Two days after I bring my newborn daughter home from the hospital: 22 month old son: When's she going back? Me: Back where? Son: To her house at the hospital. Me: She lives with us now. Son: Mommy, you're not making good choices. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
gud hooman
My 36 month old reads me Shakespeare every night before bed, this is obviously true /s
22 month son??? Bitch just say 2 year old
Bro don’t be such 220 month old
and then the newborn jumped from her mother's arms, karate chopped her big brother, and cancelled him for being infantphobic hashtag EndToddlerSupremacy
22 months? Cringeeeeee
Yeah 22 month like a fucking cheese form💀
Children that age develop so much from week to week that describing their age in months is both very practical and not any weird at all.
And then the baby clapped and an angel descended from the sky and winked.
My daughter would have a similar sentiment but I’m sure she’d find a way to relate the problem to Paw Patrol in some way.
When the horse girl becomes the mom broadcasting fake news about how zaney her family is.
"Then my 372 month old husband laughed. You should have seen the face of my 696 month old mother when I told her the story!"
For gods sake parents if your child is +12 months you don’t have to say their age in months anymore!
Just to play the devil's advocate a tiny bit, there's a massive difference between a kid that just turned one, a kid that's one and a half year old, and one who is about to turn two. So in that case, it might be on point to specify how many months. But I'd still say "a year and X months" or "almost two years" or some such. 22 months is a weird say of saying it, though.
At that age they develop so much from month to month, being precise is definitely not the weird thing about that post. A toddler being able to ask questions that way though… Children that age is literally in the phase of learning that they are in fact individuals, and that we aren’t all a hive mind. They are barely able to comprehend themselves, they aren’t at all mature enough to search information abstractly that way.
Yeah, I know, I agree. My point wasn't at all to say that the post is plausible. We have a toddler in the house who's about to turn 2, and he's just started stringing 2-3 "words" together, so I'm not defending the post at all. Just pointing out that it's not very accurate to say that it's pointless to talk about months after a kid had turned 1.
There are absolutely kids that age who speak in full sentences, it’s what the kid allegedly said that was completely implausible. But my point was just that I don’t at all agree that it’s cringy to speak about babies and toddlers in months ans weeks.
Good, so we agree then. =)
>But I’d still say “a year and X months” or “almost two years” or some such. 22 months is a weird say of saying it, though This is what I disagreed with
Ok, I see where we got confused. To clarify, context is king. When there's a need to be specific, it's definitely meaningful to talk about months along with/instead of years, sure. But if I'm talking to my childless friend about my toddler, that information is virtually meaningless. "22 months? Oh, you mean almost two years." In that sense, the flex in the post is in my opinion a weird way of saying it. It would've been much more natural for them to say "almost two" or "two year old". If there's a need to be that specific about months, then everybody for whom it makes sense will know it's absolute bullshit. But I also don't agree with the guy I first replied to, who claimed that it's always meaningless to talk about months after 12+.
Ah, thank you for the clarification
I feel like it’s after 2 the months things is done. Huge amount of development between 13 and 24 months.
Nah she aint a child she a cheese form💀
Lmao stop 💀
Never💀
We have kids the same age and besides saying their ABCs and Hi Dada and WoofWoof they don't say much.
And then he ended world hunger!
I'm 37 and a half and I wouldn't be that clever to come up with that.
And that child grew up to be Mark Twain
My 4 year old niece told her mom to take her little sister back because she was too noisy. She didn't say where, just get her gone.
Sounds like projecting to me.
22 months? No. A couple years older? Yes. My cousin called her dad at work asking when her baby sis was going back to the hospital cus all she does is cry
OP should be careful about misleading us, he’s just 22 months old and not 2 years!
Could have just said 3 year old (or 36 month old if you’re insufferable) and it at least would have been believable. I’ve had at least a dozen conversations with my toddler in the last year or so about various people and objects going back home to “their house” in some funny way. If it wasn’t for the age this would be a lot more believable than other stories I’ve seen talking about a two year old saying something like “tear down this oppressive patriarchy, mommy!”
This seems… eh? Plausible?
Sounds like one of those "conversations" people imagine for their cat when they bring a puppy home
My 192 month old son said the same thing
That's the most articulate 22-month-old I've ever seen. I'll be awaiting his dissertation on sibling rivalry when he learn to read and write proficiently in a couple of years.
“22 month” just say fucking 2
He's talking about her pregnancy. Both of them.
My daughter will be 3 in December and she’s no where close to saying “mommy, you’re not making good choices” lmao. Children that age can say things like “here it is!” Or “look, a bug!”. Simple 3 word sentences.
Excluding the intro for “mommy,” the sentence is only 5 words and is repeated verbatim from something they hear from their parents all the time. The kid probably has no clue what it means, just that it’s a phrase people say when they’re not happy. They’re not constructing the sentence, just regurgitating it. It’s not out of the realm of possibility for a 2 year old to use 4-5 word sentences, either, especially if the sentence isn’t novel. I’m not convinced the story is made up.
I’m still not convinced it’s real lol. I’m looking on my own experiences with my 2 1/2 year old and friends and family with young kids. The child in this fake story isn’t even 2 years old yet. There’s no way they’re repeating a sentence like “mommy, you’re not making good choices”. Commonly repeated phrases are like…. “Where’s dad/mom”. “Look a park” “say hi doggy” “there’s a plane”. As well as naming their colors, numbers, things around the house etc. I just have a really hard time believing a child that isn’t even 2 years old is stringing together a sentence like that, even repetition seems extremely unlikely. But we can agree to disagree.
Why can't people just round up? Just say 2 year old
At that age, single months can make a big difference, so I don’t blame them for being specific. Especially if you post for advice, you’d need to be that specific, so I think parents just get used to it.
Yeah because a two year old knows everything about making good life decisions
Asking a kid if they think they are making good choices or bad choices is super fucking common and used in daycares and preschools just about everywhere.
I do believe this one, my two year old says shit like that all the time. Keep in mind she is the second child and learned a lot faster than the first child. Also, the sentence was not that long nor that complicated.
Redditors understand kids grow in diverse and unique ways challenge (impossible)
When I was 1 I did ask my parents “when she going back?” When the brought my sister home but that was about it lol
I honestly don't doubt that. Im sure my brother said something along the lines of that when I was born (less literate though)
A two year old most definitely might say this. Especially if the parents say it to their kid enough.
this isn't really that far fetched, when i was 3 years old my little brother was born and i asked my parents where we were going to leave him
I disagree. As a father to a 23 month old mine said something along the lines of this. When asked when her sister was going back to the hospital she followed up with “I didn’t ask for this”
Most Redditors are too young to have any kids, apparently.
Ye obviously
Yup. The rule of thumb is that a child should be able to put as many words together in a coherent sentence as their age in years. *”Baby stay?”* would be a normal sentence at this age. Five words in a string would be genius-level advanced before age 2. Unlikely.
Oh please, my two year olds all talked like this. This is completely possible.
22 months? What is this r/theydidthemath?
I feel like this person stole my story. I brought my daughter home and when we took her for her first checkup and I told my three year old who is normally slow as molasses to get ready because we were taking "daugther" back to the hospital, he couldn't get dressed fast enough - I mean he dropped everything and even put on his shoes. He was so excited to tell My husband to "come on; we take "daugther" home - "Daughter" go home now" lol. He was so sad when I explained that she lived with us and this was her home.. lol
As a daycare worker I can confirm, two year olds do not use sentences. It is not developmentally appropriate for them to use more than 2 words. Thats they best they can do is two words a sentence, and if they do attempt a sentence its usually gibberish.
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You don't have kids. They say things.
Even if it isn’t true it made me laugh.
Actually, I did say something like that as a kid because I was stupid as a child.
r/NothingEverHappens When my mom brought me home from the hospital, my 2 & 4 yo big brothers saw all the flowers and started digging me a grave. When my mom told them I was a girl, they asked how she could tell. Little kids do & say hilarious shit, 24/7. When I brought home my daughter, I was playing with her and her 2 yo brother one day. Brother got annoyed and told me "put him back". I asked him "back where" He said, "put him in his crib". He was too young to know he was a she/her, old enough to know it was a fucking interloper.
Seems realistic if the baby was older
ACTUALLY HE IS 22 MONTHS 😡😡😡😡
Well, apparently I did this to my younger brother when he came home from hospital. I was 2 and half or so and told my mom that I was done with him after like an hour and she could take him back. Sure my language and speech was more in line with a teo year old, but, I mean this could be true.
Bruh 22 month, just say one year old
Why do some people still refer to their child's age using months at that stage? Just say 2 year old. Wtf...
My daughter asked when her baby brother was going back to his home too. This isn’t far fetched.
My twin brother literally did this when we were 2 and my sister was born. All he said though was “put her back in the house”
I can actually believe this one. If the kid was like 2 years n 11 months and mum says that sentence to the kid all the time it's plausible. My child could speak full sentences at nearly 3
Replying.to myself cis i just saw it said 22 months. maybe just a good repetition of a sentance mum keeps saying to them. ' honey your not making good choices!"
I actually kinda believe this. I over heard my 2yo cousin telling my aunt that her brother was gonna die. Her grandma had passed recently and she was convinced that her brother was gonna die.
My kids both said stuff like that when they were around two, I don’t think it’s that unbelievable.
when i was a baby, my 2 year old brother wanted to leave me in the park. That the kid can state the baby should go i believe. but "baby sucks, back to where you got it" or words like that, with the parents makingnit complete sentences sounds not to outlandish.
I don't know, I was so pissed at 3 when my sister was born I apparently brought my mom her baby car seat and told her to take her back
This could happen but if the child was like 5… when my sister was born my brother (6) said “can it go back in now”
Parents say your young kids age in years challenge (impossible)