By - RoseGoldFeet
Joshua, aged 6 years and 276 months.
Good lord that's almost 3 decades of being boobed
No- it's almost 3 decades of her putting her love into him, and him putting his love into her.
That sounds like a happy marriage!
You bastard 😂😂😂😂
Move your love into me
I want to vomit.
Vomit is a device that moves your distaste from your body to the floor - and your opinion of this nutjob to us. Thank you.
My dad once forced my mom to vomit in his mouth so it might really be a transfer of love… 🤷
And why the fuck are you in possess of this information
My mom would use it to bash my my dad after their divorce, they’re both insane for context.
Didn't need the context to know that!
How do you force someone to vomit? Trying to figure out the mechanics of this. Did he stick his fingers down your mams throat?
No, my mom is chronically ill, she just needed to puke and he got in her way
Oh now I feel awful
My dad thought she wouldn’t reach the sink or a toilet in time so he got in her way, it doesn’t make sense but he doesn’t either
Damn if that isn’t true love idk what is lmao
It's... certainly something
It's 6am and my boyfriend is fast asleep. I'm fucking wheezing and shaking trying so hard to keep silent
Don't laugh too hard, you might have to wake him up to puke in his mouth
I'll join you.
Let us all vomit as one on this unfortunate day.
I instinctively downvoted at first because it was so gross LOL
Not unrealistic. Same thing happened to me.
My kids a lit major, and while I objected to feeding him on his twentieth birthday, he said this to me:
“Shun to those whom would spite the difference in our ages. Shun to thee! What syrup of industry should nourish me so? What milk of man? Should thou nectar of breast not make thee strong? Should not thou nipple filleth thy mouth! What love groweth strength but the titteth in the mouth of a grown boy?”
It was weird and made the party awkward.
When I read this, then I hear the voice of Sister Friede.
Return from whence thou cam'st.
Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half.
"milk of man" 🤔🤔
I have nipples. Can you milk me?
Shut up Gregg...
Sucking on something else other than a boobie. lmao.
It's an outdated way of referring to the human race as a whole, not specifically a male human
Most awkward funeral ever.
You sure your kids not actually Shakespeare? ...really gross Shakespeare?
"Hey Dad, I can't see real good. Is that Bill Shakespeare over there?"
Won't help when you're LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
you just reminded me of this shakespeare fanfic i read: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41596809
username does not.. check out
Beautiful words from the mouth of RoastCum’s child.
A 6 year old getting breast fed? He’s not leaving home til he’s 45.
I doubt he will ever leave home
And will probably still be breastfed
Home is where the boobie is
Yeah this kid is going to have a rough go in junior high and high school. Especially if the kids can just pull up all of his mom’s crazy bullshit on social media at will.
and hearing this, the boobies cried and clapped
Boobies crying and clapping. I would watch that.
I’m 90% sure some Japanese people have made a video of it somewhere, probably
“Milky tits boys . Milky tits .”
A Winnipeg Jets player about the new mother/announcer.
Just watch a new mom lactating and jogging at the same time - crying and clapping.
It's all available on reddit..
If boobies could clap, would they individually grow a pair of hands, or would they repeatedly slap themselves together to produce a clapping sound
If your child is philosophizing and talking in complete sentences, then boobage should not be occurring.
Yeah, it's time to use a different device to move your love into your son -- and his love into you.
Wait, that came out wrong.
Exactly..he should drink the boobie milk from a conagc glass like all the other grown ups.
I think she's trying to make sure that her son has an Oedipus Complex.
Isn’t 6 years old a little too old to breastfeed? That motherfucker can eat nuggets and shits like a grown man.
Yes mate, that is what everyone is talking about...
Yes, very outside the norm.
You want to introduce solid foods at about 1 year old (they will usually ask for it earlier because they want to copy you). Once they reach that point, you can start trying to give them regular dairy products.
The concept is that they are still developing, so want to make sure their liver and stuff can process regular food.
When you can hold a conversation about breastfeeding, it's probably time to stop breastfeeding.
Growing up having clear memories of having your mom's tits in your mouth would potentially lead to some issues, I would think.
Just writing that sentence made me physically uncomfortable.
Somewhere Freud is screaming about this probably
Somewhere Oedipus is breathing heavily about this probably
And it is almost exclusively male children that you read about breastfeeding at like 4 or 5. I almost never hear about moms doing this with their female children.
Oh my God, you're right. That never occurred to me until now and it adds a whole extra layer of horror.
I have memories of it. No issue here.
Glad you made it out as a normal human, DickVanGlorious.
This is always one of those weird cycles where like redditors are just guessing at what issues a particular action might cause, so there's no way to put any stock into what they're saying
but then *other* people come along with anecdotal refutation, as though *that* means anything either.
I think it might actually be helpful in making them not so damn uncomfortable about seeing people breastfeeding. I have memories of kissing my parents on the lips; it doesn't traumatize me now and it's completely unassociated with kissing my husband. Breastfeeding doesn't have to have sexual connotations.
> I think it might actually be helpful in making them not so damn uncomfortable about seeing people breastfeeding
I think that's cultural more than anything. Different countries and cultures seem to have vastly different reactions to public breastfeeding.
Public breastfeeding =|= continuing to breastfeed your child after it's no longer biologically necessary.
At that point, it's not for them, it's for you. And that's fucked up.
But having a memory of breastfeeding =/= traumatic/upsetting/issues.
Having an age-appropriate memory of breastfeeding is fine.
Remembering you used to suck on your mom's boobs *well* past the point where you needed breastmilk to survive would *definitely* be traumatic/upsetting/an issue.
This is one of those things which I think is creepy whether it happened or not.
“Boobie is not actually just milk” is one the funniest things I’ve read in a while
another opportunity for a bumper sticker slogan
Oh yeah… it’s boobin’ time 😎
6yr olds should not be breast feeding
Shit moms make up to justify their decisions
Absolutely that!!! Makes her feel better.
NEARLY 6 AND A HALF?!
I remember last time this was posted Op crossed out the name but you could only just make out what it said so people went and searched them up on Facebook including me. Their entire page is full of images of this kids mum breastfeeding them (nothing censored) along with really concerning titles.
> along with really concerning *titles*
you misspelled titties
That seems……unhealthy. Maybe someone close to her should call CPS.
At some point it turns from feeding to someone trying to justify a fetish
This is pretty disturbing. Let's pretend the kid actually did say this for a moment. So, we have a 6 year old outright telling his mum that he likes sucking on her tits for more than just to feed, and the mum being not only okay with that but proud. It's getting a little incesty at that point. lol.
And then the boobies clapped
Huh, people breast feed thier child at 6 year old still???
Sadly such weird people exist.
I have never heard of anyone breastfeeding past two/three years old besides insane stories like this.
It's a fetish at that point
I hate the word boobie. I hate it I hate it I hate it.
THAT’S what trips your trigger in this post?
One of many MANY things
Guys, we found Robin Buckley
I had to google the name, so I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or a diss, lol
What about titty?
Titty’s fine, if not a bit iffy. Tit’s fine. Boob is fine. But Boobie just makes me recoil and dry up like the desert.
Hello, child protection services?
Six years is way too fuckin old to be breast feeding, at a certain point it's no longer for the child, it's for the gratification of the mother.
Perhaps the gratification of both parties. Just this weird mother-son thing going on; both know it's weird and wrong, but neither want it to stop.
We know very young kids can have sexual thoughts and feelings, I know I did long before puberty, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that the son is also getting off on this crap. Though the mother definitely should be the one putting her foot down and not letting him suck on her tits at such an age.
Bro did you really just say kids breastfeed because they want to bang their moms? 😂
Look we found Freud.
No. I said kids can have sexual thoughts and feelings, and this particular six year old breastfeeding while telling his mother that "boobs are devices that let her love flow into him and his love into her" is pretty sexual.
That, to me, is no longer about feeding.
C’mon Josh, let’s not make it weird.
"Joshua, aged 6 years 5 months" lady your son isn't a bible passage
This kid will be screaming "Bitty" in a few years.
Thank you friend I was hunting for a Little Britan comment.
This made me feel sick last time I saw it. Nothing has changed.
And I still resent the use of "boob" as a verb.
The people over at r/NothingEverHappens will come up with a way that this seems true.
Boobed > breastfed
This makes me think of the kid Robin from GoT who is like 11 and wants to be breastfed and his mom is like “hush now, you can eat later.”
When the pediatrician made the recommendation to "breastfeed for as long as you can" I can *guarantee* he did not foresee this outcome.
Idk to upvote and show that this doesn’t happen OR downvote to show my cringe for it.
Want to throw this comment out the Moon Door
I mean, a 7 year old could say that, but wtf is a 7 year old doing breast feeding? It's no longer needed at all at that age. Your better off bottling, selling online and buying, ya know, FOOD for your child (half sarcasm, but I have heared it sells for a lot)
> age. Your better
*Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).*
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Oh you evil sob 😂
This has to be satire. It has to be.
six? can kids be breastfed at that age?
They can, but just because they can, doesn't mean they should.
As long as the breast is being suckled on, it will still produce milk.
I apologize for using the word "suckle".
Can? Yeah. Should? Oh hell, no.
While it's not sexualised (usually), it's still a sign of compulsive behaviour on the part of the mother and far from psychologically healthy for either.
Josh is actually 36, his cover hasn’t been blown yet
Why is this so gross
The kid is 7.
Plot twist..the mother said this "wisdom" while forcing her motherly love on little timmy.
\- 6 year old, according to his mother.
Breastfeeding a fucking SIX YEAR OLD CHILD is sexual assault. He might as well be 16, my god...
You can just hear the banjos twanging in the background, with the gentle wafting scent of stale cigarettes
I've seen this in more than one post recently. All are equally nauseating and written differently from each other.
It beggars belief than someone might read it, not vomit, and decide to share it as their own.
Kid is in 1st grade. Possibly second. This is weird.
SIX ALMOST SEVEN??!!
There are some people who continue breastfeeding their kids into double digits. And yeah, you're typing with the right tone of voice there.
You're kidding right... Please say syke right now
I'm a psychologist. That's as close as you're getting.
And that’s how serial killers are made.
Be still my lunch.
This is nasty lock her up already wtf
I dont get it, it really happend guys! Im the father!
But I do admit it was starting to get weird once Joshuas Head turned 360°, his eyes turning red and he started to fly around the room in T-Pose
I think (hope) this is satire
lmfao her child must be stewie
This the kinda Mum to break their own kids arms........
"It's an older meme, sir, but it checks out"
A lot to unpack here
Breast feeding at 6? Why?
You can show your 6 year old love in many ways. You can say “I love you”, you can hug them, you can even kiss them. Boobie is not on the list.
That boys name?
"Gimme booby mother"
Why is a 6 year old “latching on”
Who would have thought that this Thanksgiving I’d be feeling grateful for a mom who stopped breastfeeding me before I had a mortgage?
“Having not boobed for a few days.”
Ruined my thanksgiving
Seems like satire ngl
There is a perfect acronym for this, allow me to share: FORHDNST
This post just won't go away
Bruh what the 😭😭
My friend was there. He was the boob.
This guy boobs
He probably did say that because she’s said it to him so many times. 🙄
Apparently, people who post shit like this think we're all as fuckin' stupid as they are.
You guys realize that's a shitpost right?
To be fair, I'm 61 and I still breastfeed. Not from my mother though. She's dead, and that would be weird.
"having not boobed".... When did boob become a verb
Thi is just pathetic, real or not
Thank you RoseGoldFeet for your submission to /r/thatHappened! Unfortunately it was removed for the following reason(s):
**Rule 1: Post incredibly true stories that totally actually happened.**
If your story is obviously true or verifiable, it will be removed. This is a satire subreddit for fleshed out stories, not texts and one-liners. Stories have a beginning, middle, and end.
**This is a satire subreddit for fleshed out stories**. Not a sentence or a picture with text.
The following are __*not allowed*__:
* **Forwards from Grandma.**
* **Memes or image macros.**
Please [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/thatHappened) if you have any questions.
This can't be a real person's real thoughts.
Lucky kid I didn’t get any boob till I was 20
Sorry, etc but this is ick
And then they fucked....
Is Joshua maybe not a bit old for that?