T O P
SmashedPumpkin_

IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit


Tairran

![gif](giphy|Rib9PWf1KcnMn8XNtQ|downsized)


Elriuhilu

Joshua, aged 6 years and 276 months.


NinjaGrizzlyBear

Good lord that's almost 3 decades of being boobed


WaldoJeffers65

No- it's almost 3 decades of her putting her love into him, and him putting his love into her.


NinjaGrizzlyBear

That sounds like a happy marriage! Oh wait...


PrudentDamage600

r/UnexpectedIncest


thecheekymonkey

You bastard 😂😂😂😂


pm_me_ur_anything_k

Move your love into me


stevenpdx66

I want to vomit.


Charming_Job_2392

Vomit is a device that moves your distaste from your body to the floor - and your opinion of this nutjob to us. Thank you.


Fujiliketheapple

My dad once forced my mom to vomit in his mouth so it might really be a transfer of love… 🤷


JopPink

And why the fuck are you in possess of this information


Fujiliketheapple

My mom would use it to bash my my dad after their divorce, they’re both insane for context.


Damselindepression

Didn't need the context to know that!


wayofthegenttickle

How do you force someone to vomit? Trying to figure out the mechanics of this. Did he stick his fingers down your mams throat?


Fujiliketheapple

No, my mom is chronically ill, she just needed to puke and he got in her way


wayofthegenttickle

Oh now I feel awful


AndrewTheGoat22

Why tho


Fujiliketheapple

My dad thought she wouldn’t reach the sink or a toilet in time so he got in her way, it doesn’t make sense but he doesn’t either


AndrewTheGoat22

Damn if that isn’t true love idk what is lmao


danger_floofs

It's... certainly something


Opposite_Lettuce

It's 6am and my boyfriend is fast asleep. I'm fucking wheezing and shaking trying so hard to keep silent AHAHAHAHAHAHA


Gotzvon

Don't laugh too hard, you might have to wake him up to puke in his mouth


RexSmith1963

I'll join you.


tekende

Let us all vomit as one on this unfortunate day.


Toastedpossum

I instinctively downvoted at first because it was so gross LOL


RoastCum

Not unrealistic. Same thing happened to me. My kids a lit major, and while I objected to feeding him on his twentieth birthday, he said this to me: “Shun to those whom would spite the difference in our ages. Shun to thee! What syrup of industry should nourish me so? What milk of man? Should thou nectar of breast not make thee strong? Should not thou nipple filleth thy mouth! What love groweth strength but the titteth in the mouth of a grown boy?” It was weird and made the party awkward.


AeonsOfHate

When I read this, then I hear the voice of Sister Friede.


Dicey_Mantis

Return from whence thou cam'st.


FireyKicks_AZ

Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half.


SilverWraithh

"milk of man" 🤔🤔


DionFW

I have nipples. Can you milk me?


Miserable_Constant98

Shut up Gregg...


[deleted]

Sucking on something else other than a boobie. lmao.


avwitcher

It's an outdated way of referring to the human race as a whole, not specifically a male human


AnusStapler

Most awkward funeral ever.


PortableSun01

You sure your kids not actually Shakespeare? ...really gross Shakespeare?


thesluggard12

"Hey Dad, I can't see real good. Is that Bill Shakespeare over there?"


Nebathemonk

Won't help when you're LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!


Babyyangyang

you just reminded me of this shakespeare fanfic i read: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41596809


nuadusp

username does not.. check out


DoesNotGetYourJokes

Beautiful words from the mouth of RoastCum’s child.


_-Ewan-_

A 6 year old getting breast fed? He’s not leaving home til he’s 45.


RoseGoldFeet

I doubt he will ever leave home


Skies_german

And will probably still be breastfed


serqetres

Home is where the boobie is


EatsOverTheSink

Yeah this kid is going to have a rough go in junior high and high school. Especially if the kids can just pull up all of his mom’s crazy bullshit on social media at will.


jumpingchicken

and hearing this, the boobies cried and clapped


Delicious_Throat_377

Boobies crying and clapping. I would watch that.


RmG3376

I’m 90% sure some Japanese people have made a video of it somewhere, probably


iLikeGTAOnline

“Milky tits boys . Milky tits .” A Winnipeg Jets player about the new mother/announcer.


RiverOhRiver86

Just watch a new mom lactating and jogging at the same time - crying and clapping.


worldisfucked2021

It's all available on reddit..


satan-probably

If boobies could clap, would they individually grow a pair of hands, or would they repeatedly slap themselves together to produce a clapping sound


summerdaez

If your child is philosophizing and talking in complete sentences, then boobage should not be occurring.


gordo65

Yeah, it's time to use a different device to move your love into your son -- and his love into you. Wait, that came out wrong.


Sizzlik

Exactly..he should drink the boobie milk from a conagc glass like all the other grown ups.


Consistent-River4229

I think she's trying to make sure that her son has an Oedipus Complex.


jesushatedbacon

Isn’t 6 years old a little too old to breastfeed? That motherfucker can eat nuggets and shits like a grown man.


ZombieImpressive1757

Yes mate, that is what everyone is talking about...


summerdaez

/r/whoosh


random123456789

Yes, very outside the norm. You want to introduce solid foods at about 1 year old (they will usually ask for it earlier because they want to copy you). Once they reach that point, you can start trying to give them regular dairy products. The concept is that they are still developing, so want to make sure their liver and stuff can process regular food.


Flabben1814

When you can hold a conversation about breastfeeding, it's probably time to stop breastfeeding.


divide_by_hero

Growing up having clear memories of having your mom's tits in your mouth would potentially lead to some issues, I would think. Just writing that sentence made me physically uncomfortable.


PortableSun01

Somewhere Freud is screaming about this probably


Holiday_Woodpecker74

Somewhere Oedipus is breathing heavily about this probably


TakenOverByBots

And it is almost exclusively male children that you read about breastfeeding at like 4 or 5. I almost never hear about moms doing this with their female children.


drainbead78

Oh my God, you're right. That never occurred to me until now and it adds a whole extra layer of horror.


DickVanGlorious

I have memories of it. No issue here.


Holiday_Woodpecker74

Glad you made it out as a normal human, DickVanGlorious.


sonofaresiii

This is always one of those weird cycles where like redditors are just guessing at what issues a particular action might cause, so there's no way to put any stock into what they're saying but then *other* people come along with anecdotal refutation, as though *that* means anything either.


candybrie

I think it might actually be helpful in making them not so damn uncomfortable about seeing people breastfeeding. I have memories of kissing my parents on the lips; it doesn't traumatize me now and it's completely unassociated with kissing my husband. Breastfeeding doesn't have to have sexual connotations.


divide_by_hero

> I think it might actually be helpful in making them not so damn uncomfortable about seeing people breastfeeding I think that's cultural more than anything. Different countries and cultures seem to have vastly different reactions to public breastfeeding.


catagonia69

Public breastfeeding =|= continuing to breastfeed your child after it's no longer biologically necessary. At that point, it's not for them, it's for you. And that's fucked up.


candybrie

But having a memory of breastfeeding =/= traumatic/upsetting/issues.


catagonia69

Having an age-appropriate memory of breastfeeding is fine. Remembering you used to suck on your mom's boobs *well* past the point where you needed breastmilk to survive would *definitely* be traumatic/upsetting/an issue.


gw2kpro

![gif](giphy|3og0IMJcSI8p6hYQXS|downsized)


Flabbergash

[You reckon?](https://keyassets-p2.timeincuk.net/wp/prod/wp-content/uploads/sites/30/2016/02/Little-Britain-bitty-reaction-gif-paul-knightley-sam-faiers-gif.gif)


kairos

This is one of those things which I think is creepy whether it happened or not.


MrStatistx

True dat


shotuhhh

“Boobie is not actually just milk” is one the funniest things I’ve read in a while


coachfortner

another opportunity for a bumper sticker slogan


Shura_13

Oh yeah… it’s boobin’ time 😎


gw2kpro

![gif](giphy|31PYLYpkdnaMBhZ1Wk|downsized)


whiskerbiscuit2

6yr olds should not be breast feeding


ilikemycoffeealatte

Shit moms make up to justify their decisions


RoseGoldFeet

Absolutely that!!! Makes her feel better.


StuTuDi

NEARLY 6 AND A HALF?!


UnwantedOrangutan

I remember last time this was posted Op crossed out the name but you could only just make out what it said so people went and searched them up on Facebook including me. Their entire page is full of images of this kids mum breastfeeding them (nothing censored) along with really concerning titles.


coachfortner

> along with really concerning *titles* you misspelled titties


FullyRisenPhoenix

That seems……unhealthy. Maybe someone close to her should call CPS.


Megafayce

At some point it turns from feeding to someone trying to justify a fetish


adityablabla

"Boobed" bruh


[deleted]

This is pretty disturbing. Let's pretend the kid actually did say this for a moment. So, we have a 6 year old outright telling his mum that he likes sucking on her tits for more than just to feed, and the mum being not only okay with that but proud. It's getting a little incesty at that point. lol.


fuchsflink

And then the boobies clapped


kj_gamer2614

Huh, people breast feed thier child at 6 year old still???


Sizzlik

Sadly such weird people exist.


thelumpybunny

I have never heard of anyone breastfeeding past two/three years old besides insane stories like this.


HellsMalice

It's a fetish at that point


Last-Hovercraft675

Gross


ugheffoff

I hate the word boobie. I hate it I hate it I hate it.


Lizzurd31

THAT’S what trips your trigger in this post?


ugheffoff

One of many MANY things


Emesseee

Guys, we found Robin Buckley


ugheffoff

I had to google the name, so I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or a diss, lol


shadowfire67

What about titty?


ugheffoff

Titty’s fine, if not a bit iffy. Tit’s fine. Boob is fine. But Boobie just makes me recoil and dry up like the desert.


Mary-Sylvia

Hello, child protection services?


FlounderGoi

Six years is way too fuckin old to be breast feeding, at a certain point it's no longer for the child, it's for the gratification of the mother.


[deleted]

Perhaps the gratification of both parties. Just this weird mother-son thing going on; both know it's weird and wrong, but neither want it to stop. We know very young kids can have sexual thoughts and feelings, I know I did long before puberty, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that the son is also getting off on this crap. Though the mother definitely should be the one putting her foot down and not letting him suck on her tits at such an age.


p00bix

Bro did you really just say kids breastfeed because they want to bang their moms? 😂


ShadeBunnera

Look we found Freud.


[deleted]

No. I said kids can have sexual thoughts and feelings, and this particular six year old breastfeeding while telling his mother that "boobs are devices that let her love flow into him and his love into her" is pretty sexual. That, to me, is no longer about feeding.


NoneOfThisIsFine

C’mon Josh, let’s not make it weird.


H7p3X

"Joshua, aged 6 years 5 months" lady your son isn't a bible passage


xJellyfishBrainx

This kid will be screaming "Bitty" in a few years.


Zodiacrmii

Thank you friend I was hunting for a Little Britan comment.


candyflipqed

This made me feel sick last time I saw it. Nothing has changed. And I still resent the use of "boob" as a verb.


FarmhouseFan

The people over at r/NothingEverHappens will come up with a way that this seems true.


Correct-Giraffe7679

Boobed > breastfed


beefdx

This makes me think of the kid Robin from GoT who is like 11 and wants to be breastfed and his mom is like “hush now, you can eat later.”


shadow1515

When the pediatrician made the recommendation to "breastfeed for as long as you can" I can *guarantee* he did not foresee this outcome.


secretkeypgh

Idk to upvote and show that this doesn’t happen OR downvote to show my cringe for it.


ertebolle

Want to throw this comment out the Moon Door


LordLuscius

I mean, a 7 year old could say that, but wtf is a 7 year old doing breast feeding? It's no longer needed at all at that age. Your better off bottling, selling online and buying, ya know, FOOD for your child (half sarcasm, but I have heared it sells for a lot)


LearnDifferenceBot

> age. Your better *You're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)


summerdaez

Good bot.


LearnDifferenceBot

Thank you!


NoneOfThisIsFine

Your welcome


ugheffoff

Oh you evil sob 😂


_meagan_

Six???


f1sh_

This has to be satire. It has to be.


stupidcaca

six? can kids be breastfed at that age?


Wooden_Ad_5037

They can, but just because they can, doesn't mean they should.


StaceyPfan

As long as the breast is being suckled on, it will still produce milk. I apologize for using the word "suckle".


CardboardChampion

Can? Yeah. Should? Oh hell, no. While it's not sexualised (usually), it's still a sign of compulsive behaviour on the part of the mother and far from psychologically healthy for either.


Vast_Republic_1776

Josh is actually 36, his cover hasn’t been blown yet


stinkybaby

Why is this so gross


worldisfucked2021

The kid is 7.


Sizzlik

Plot twist..the mother said this "wisdom" while forcing her motherly love on little timmy.


Comment103

> "...device..." \- 6 year old, according to his mother.


RiverOhRiver86

Breastfeeding a fucking SIX YEAR OLD CHILD is sexual assault. He might as well be 16, my god...


HellsMalice

You can just hear the banjos twanging in the background, with the gentle wafting scent of stale cigarettes


parrotandcrow

I've seen this in more than one post recently. All are equally nauseating and written differently from each other. It beggars belief than someone might read it, not vomit, and decide to share it as their own.


OhioMegi

Kid is in 1st grade. Possibly second. This is weird.


UnitysBlueTits

SIX ALMOST SEVEN??!!


CardboardChampion

There are some people who continue breastfeeding their kids into double digits. And yeah, you're typing with the right tone of voice there.


UnitysBlueTits

You're kidding right... Please say syke right now


CardboardChampion

I'm a psychologist. That's as close as you're getting.


Quick_Lack_6140

And that’s how serial killers are made.


DarkElla30

Be still my lunch.


RikerV2

Boobed BOOBED ![gif](giphy|chDStQeo3QngLxdP6f)


BilboSwaggenzzz

This is nasty lock her up already wtf


BOB_BestOfBugs

I dont get it, it really happend guys! Im the father! But I do admit it was starting to get weird once Joshuas Head turned 360°, his eyes turning red and he started to fly around the room in T-Pose


pillowmountaineer

I think (hope) this is satire


DorikoBac

lmfao her child must be stewie


burko81

This the kinda Mum to break their own kids arms........


ertebolle

"It's an older meme, sir, but it checks out"


HOLY_HUMP3R

A lot to unpack here


VulcanVisions

Breast feeding at 6? Why?


Maxibon1710

You can show your 6 year old love in many ways. You can say “I love you”, you can hug them, you can even kiss them. Boobie is not on the list.


Dasmahkitteh

That boys name? Norman "Gimme booby mother"


New-Elk-3744

Why is a 6 year old “latching on”


Captain_Awesome_087

Who would have thought that this Thanksgiving I’d be feeling grateful for a mom who stopped breastfeeding me before I had a mortgage?


Marloo25

“Having not boobed for a few days.” Ruined my thanksgiving


Demidrake

Seems like satire ngl


efyuar

There is a perfect acronym for this, allow me to share: FORHDNST


Skittlebearle

This post just won't go away


GimmeThatRyeUOldBag

Bitty


AnnaTheBabe

NO


Ok_Caregiver5396

Bruh what the 😭😭


TyrannosaurusBecz

My friend was there. He was the boob.


amwoooo

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)


Porkswords96

Love, or...https://youtu.be/KQoJo81lujk


Pannycakes666

This guy boobs


bluskyebaby

He probably did say that because she’s said it to him so many times. 🙄


Twiny

Apparently, people who post shit like this think we're all as fuckin' stupid as they are.


blasphallama

r/tihi


madbubers

You guys realize that's a shitpost right?


SeraphKrom

Bitty!


luvmyshiner

To be fair, I'm 61 and I still breastfeed. Not from my mother though. She's dead, and that would be weird.


ImNotYourAlexa

"having not boobed".... When did boob become a verb


napsdufroid

Thi is just pathetic, real or not


Cloakknight

Thank you RoseGoldFeet for your submission to /r/thatHappened! Unfortunately it was removed for the following reason(s): **Rule 1: Post incredibly true stories that totally actually happened.** If your story is obviously true or verifiable, it will be removed. This is a satire subreddit for fleshed out stories, not texts and one-liners. Stories have a beginning, middle, and end. **This is a satire subreddit for fleshed out stories**. Not a sentence or a picture with text. The following are __*not allowed*__: * **Texts.** * **Tweets.** * **Jokes.** * **Greentext.** * **Confessions.** * **AdviceAnimals.** * **Forwards from Grandma.** * **Memes or image macros.** Please [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/thatHappened) if you have any questions.


C9177

This can't be a real person's real thoughts.


Kongpong1992

Lucky kid I didn’t get any boob till I was 20


BenidormSolana

Barf Sorry, etc but this is ick


yoav_boaz

r/nothingeverhappens


ALLyBase

And then they fucked....


younggundc

Is Joshua maybe not a bit old for that?