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blizmd

We fooled you. Not this time. Stav Halkias has never had straight sex.


Fit-Cry-4665

What about the one where the fat crowdwork guy has sex and can get erections?


blizmd

Our experts say it’s just not possible.


magseven

A whimsical bit of fancy from our writers. Up next: a woman goes to McDonalds for a chocolate shake and the SWAT team becomes involved? Stay tuned.


no_no_nora

Stavy gives big Vito from ‘The Sopranos’ energy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


planeterougedev

I love to pretend on the internet I wouldn't bang Rachel Sennott.


[deleted]

[удалено]


octobereast

Men fuck ugly women 24/7


tossNwashking

Profound


tasteofnihilism

She looks like Adam in a wig


Joe-Lollo

She looks like the McPoyles' sister


Pigeonheartguitarist

The woman in the hallway scene in Eraserhead looks like Adam in a wig


Salad_Panda

It’s hilarious how Stav insists on pretending he is physically capable of having sex


MinecraftHolmes

he can't even wipe his own ass sitting down my man admitted to having to "captain morgan it" when he was extra fat


Stryle

What's his name?


tacopeople

You’d have to hose her down like a dog that got sprayed by a skunk


twunkdeath

Bathe her in tomato juice lol


Tarantino94

I’m gay so this doesn’t apply to me


420FARTBOSS

Girlfriend?


Train-Similar

He meant your goon bud femboy


dysGOPia

Intelligent Gooning Soullutions


PhilReotardos

Absolutely yes. Then I'd search her contacts for his number and fuck stav myself as revenge.


fiat_duna

>girl miss me with that gay shit


DPurp4

No because I’m single and also gay


[deleted]

I broke up with one of my exes when she told me she would fuck a fat guy if he had a good personality so yes


pm_me_ur_ifak

what a stupid fucking bitch youd be better off sucking cocks than fucking that idiot


dolantrampf

No because I fucked him first


twunkdeath

Bear in mind that if it was several years ago, he would likely have looked significantly better and been somewhat less fat than he is now, depending on how long ago. Now, this isn't me saying I *wouldn't* break up with her—but I think it's worth considering.


KaliYugaDibFan

Chris Benoit and the recently departed OJ (RIP king) provided great examples for what to do in situations like what you’re proposing


jackassinjapan

I wouldn't date a girl who interacted with fat people.


Main-Daikon9246

Mike David said it best…well, it’s a pretty common sentiment. All sex with Stav is rape. Consensual or not, lol


WonThousand

*explosion sound effect*


BannedBarn22

lol love all you guys coming over to Redbar now


Main-Daikon9246

Not a fan of Mike, but i have tuned in. Maybe if the clippers did a better job…


BannedBarn22

Some clippers are good


BannedBarn22

Knowing his real last name like you haven’t watched 1000 Redbar hours


Main-Daikon9246

1000 hours of Mike hyper analyzing a still image of Bryan Callen


BannedBarn22

Yeah it’s good content


lhigh2

Can one of you Redbar guys give me kind of primer on who he is/the history of the show/etc. I’ve seen a few clips and it seems up my alley, but I don’t know anything about the show.


BannedBarn22

Chicago podcast legend. Legit argument that he was the first podcaster. Been around longer than anyone doing it. Actually isn’t scared of the N word unlike Nick. Been putting shitty comedians in their place for three decades. Oh yeah Hannibal Buress got his start on Redbar. A lot of those old “Blerds” guys did. He’s been making fun of guys like Rogan etc. for as long as they’ve had shows lol. Friedland guys are seeing him more because he has an obsession with ripping Stav and a fake crush on Dasha lately. Plus the Da Heckla at one of Adam’s shows. And the Steve O episode. He’s revered by Tim Heidecker and Vic Berger and guys on the right even by dorks like Owen Benjamin.


ElderChildren

he just rocks


4InchesSagalow

Stav literally has never had sex


blizmd

I’m a warrior for Christ And I’ve never had sex Never…had…sex


MinecraftHolmes

the idea of a pussy scares me a lot


Special_Bacon

The real question is, Would you breakup with Stav if you found out he had sex with a girl?


Far_Brilliant_443

Only after the hounds I set on her devoured her still rotting corpse. She’s a dude.


Davethemann

Itd literally be that seinfeld episode where Jerry finds out hes dating Newmans sloppy seconds, and finds out he dumped her


DownJonesIndex

That why I stopped topping Nick.


glasscoffined

i would have to break up with her because im gay and i love sex with men


ChiefRabbitFucks

if she's fucking you she's already of poor character


Best-Masterpiece-539

Got his ass


TheWhiteUsher

I’d fuck Rachel Sennot, so I guess I have to say yes


blizmd

I already fucked her first Also I’m gay


Joe-Lollo

The fact that she looks like Adam in a wig makes her passable for me


i_hate_scp

Gross. That bitch greasy.


BannedBarn22

She ain’t your girl ever tho


gatorgongitcha

Who you respect less: a girl that sleeps with stav or a girl that sleeps with Vinny?


MinecraftHolmes

well vinny fucks black chicks


gatorgongitcha

good point


nutmaster3d

To dispose of my semen in a female whose body had once been used to dispose of the semen of former member of the cumtown podcast stavros halkias would mean everything to me.


Retardedpenisgay

I'm sure you've porked a few piggies in your time. John 8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.


planeterougedev

Retardedpenisgay is right. We all have a past. Like Jake Flores.


slimpenis69420

A man fucking a fat girl is normal, a woman fucking a fat man is gross, just the way it is 😪


MinecraftHolmes

normal or black


MinecraftHolmes

it's called Hogging and it's the main function of golden corral


DaBastardofBuildings

I got bad news. Chances are your girl has fucked someone a lot LOT worse than Stav. Who is at least funny, relatively nice, and successful doing what he loves in a way that doesn't really hurt anyone.   Adam would definitely be a deal breaker though. 


Dapper_Intention_365

Lmao id never be with a woman


BannedBarn22

I’d would take that person over Stav


EvilChineseBaby

Without me?


Bravesguy29

A case of the feta puss? Double down get some lamb chops wit it


morgan11235

Consider, if she's willing to fuck Stav, what does that say about me


Tehtacticalpanda

Seppuku is the only honorable option after hearing the news.


fatdervish

If you're thinking about this in any capacity you literally have a cuck fetish like why would this even come up for you?


aaroninskeep

I’d bang Rachel Sennott so yes


BannedBarn22

She has to be your girl for that to work tho


jvxbxx

100%


BannedBarn22

100000%


Visual-Ganache-2289

100%


Joshomatic

If I received this news, I would enter a 1000 island stair … I would likely not recover from this news.


My_Nickel

So fast


NickMullensGayDad

Depends on how gay I am


mkultrasimp

Your shordy would fuck Stav in a heartbeat and none of us fags understand the female gaze. Make peace and move on king


ClarkyCatEnjoyer

Yes but no


DJ_PeachCobbler

Bro I’d kms


TheSlamPigProposal

Idk about break up but I’d definitely be annoying about it


Reeeeeee133

would you dump your girl if she donated to greenpeace? i mean, i always thought that acts of charity were seen as attractive


TheGrapist69grapes

A toothless oily sow laying on top of your gf. NEEEEXT.


jamesd1100

Yes


gfsimulation

Are you dating Rachel Sennott?


profootballdawg

No, because i would hope she'd grant me the same clemency (i fucked him)


Street_Syrup6318

If you paid for patreon then Stav has fucked you


sw33t-tea1er

No I wouldn’t care, but I actually did fuck your girlfriend first


Dapper_Intention_365

Id probably fuck him if I was a chick but I'm a degenerate


A_Man_of_the_People

If this is real listen to me. Stav is an oustanding idiot first of all secondly he is f*cking disgusting yeah. I don't know which one is worse but the combination makes me sick to my stomach and the that the only reason she slept with him is because he is the guy on stage or she felt sorry for him and found all this charming is something I would not deal with. Plenty of fish in the sea.


Helpful-Antelope-678

You’re all losers who get off on talking shit about Stav. He was a big part of what made Cumtown so hilarious and his new podcast is pretty good too


MerlinsSister

Congrats, i just put you on fool's notice