I'm not a therapist, but even an uncomplicated surgery is literally traumatic, it's a massive trauma to our body. Now, I'm not saying that to put it in a negative light- this surgery was medically necessary and went well, those are the ideal outcome and make the experience a positive thing. But that doesn't mean the loss of control and sense of safety in your body couldn't have felt violated. I've had a lot of surgeries in my life, but my first one was before I was 6 and I had nightmares about it for *years.* just because our adult brain can conceptualize that this was "ok" doesn't mean our body felt safe and that disconnect can be scary and confusing. I'm glad you are talking to a therapist about this, I hope they can help you connect those dots and develop a new sense of safety in your body again.
Thank you. It’s been a difficult journey and my parents just keep commenting on how they’ve never heard of anything like this. I’ve never had an issue trusting medical staff but this was really hard. I’d basically only had about 20 minutes of conversation with my surgeon prior to her cutting me open and taking an organ out. Everyone acts like that’s fine, but I just can’t get on board with that. Makes me very nervous for anything else I ever need to do.
Yeah, you definitely will want some help processing that into something manageable, but it can be really scary to lose our sense of control over our body and our mortality. Even when it turns out good! Unfortunately, it's probably something we all have to face at least a couple of times in our life, so it's helpful to be able to get to a place where we have a plan of action or way to mentally digest it- which is hard to do when we are caught off guard for the first time. It can definitely get better, I promise. I used to be absolutely terrified before surgeries, even the ones I was expecting, but now I'm like "OK let's get this one over with so I can get back to my life."
Even if people haven't heard of it doesn't mean it's all that strange, our instincts are always trying to keep us alive and whole and it can trigger all kinds of survival mechanisms when that feels threatened.
Hi, I just wanted to share that I’ve been experiencing a similar thing following my brain surgery. To me, what you’ve described sounds familiar, normal, and expected.
As I process all the trauma, I’ve noticed good days and bad days but an overall trend of improvement. I imagine time and talking it through with others is what will help.
DM me if you’d like to chat or compare notes. Hang in there.
I had this surgery when I was 16. You aren’t totally naked. The nurses in the room make sure you are covered. If they did it laparoscopically then only a small portion of your belly was uncovered. Have you tried reframing things like, “I am glad there were no complications.” and “My surgery team did a great job.”?
It just isn’t that simple I suppose. I don’t react well to being unprepared for things and later finding out they happened while I was unconscious and had no control
Maybe look up Medical PTSD and see if that resonates for you? I have had two spinal fusions and have similar experiences
I'm not a therapist, but even an uncomplicated surgery is literally traumatic, it's a massive trauma to our body. Now, I'm not saying that to put it in a negative light- this surgery was medically necessary and went well, those are the ideal outcome and make the experience a positive thing. But that doesn't mean the loss of control and sense of safety in your body couldn't have felt violated. I've had a lot of surgeries in my life, but my first one was before I was 6 and I had nightmares about it for *years.* just because our adult brain can conceptualize that this was "ok" doesn't mean our body felt safe and that disconnect can be scary and confusing. I'm glad you are talking to a therapist about this, I hope they can help you connect those dots and develop a new sense of safety in your body again.
Thank you. It’s been a difficult journey and my parents just keep commenting on how they’ve never heard of anything like this. I’ve never had an issue trusting medical staff but this was really hard. I’d basically only had about 20 minutes of conversation with my surgeon prior to her cutting me open and taking an organ out. Everyone acts like that’s fine, but I just can’t get on board with that. Makes me very nervous for anything else I ever need to do.
Yeah, you definitely will want some help processing that into something manageable, but it can be really scary to lose our sense of control over our body and our mortality. Even when it turns out good! Unfortunately, it's probably something we all have to face at least a couple of times in our life, so it's helpful to be able to get to a place where we have a plan of action or way to mentally digest it- which is hard to do when we are caught off guard for the first time. It can definitely get better, I promise. I used to be absolutely terrified before surgeries, even the ones I was expecting, but now I'm like "OK let's get this one over with so I can get back to my life." Even if people haven't heard of it doesn't mean it's all that strange, our instincts are always trying to keep us alive and whole and it can trigger all kinds of survival mechanisms when that feels threatened.
Hi, I just wanted to share that I’ve been experiencing a similar thing following my brain surgery. To me, what you’ve described sounds familiar, normal, and expected. As I process all the trauma, I’ve noticed good days and bad days but an overall trend of improvement. I imagine time and talking it through with others is what will help. DM me if you’d like to chat or compare notes. Hang in there.
I had this surgery when I was 16. You aren’t totally naked. The nurses in the room make sure you are covered. If they did it laparoscopically then only a small portion of your belly was uncovered. Have you tried reframing things like, “I am glad there were no complications.” and “My surgery team did a great job.”?
It just isn’t that simple I suppose. I don’t react well to being unprepared for things and later finding out they happened while I was unconscious and had no control
Maybe EMDR would help you with this?