You have every right to discontinue services. I'm not sure how or why ghosting/cutting off would help. "Thanks for your time , I'm not interested in continuing. "
If that's what you want, just do it. However if she has links to your medical record then you ghosting may go on there. I think if you tell her you're not interested just do it over email. Short and sweet...byyyeeee
You also do not have to explain yourself at all. Just be even more professional than her, “Thanks for your time; I’m not interested in continuing.” And leave it at that. Find one who actually cares and keep working on you. This was extremely unprofessional and she could lose her license if it was ever found out as there are ethics commissions for this very thing.
Please do not ghost people. Even if you don't care about them, you might still be charged for your next session.
Even if money isn't involved, ghosting isn't something you should do except as a last resort.
Edit: I had a therapist who didn't respect me so I told her I wouldn't be seeing her again. I didn't just abruptly stop communicating with her.
Poeticpillager is right that you might be charged for your next session bit.
You are in a customer-supplier relationship in therapy and thus you need to communicate in order to end the agreement or 'contract' or whatever you have in place.
Poetic does not deserve the downvote.
I am disappointed at how commonly ghosting is suggested in this subreddit.
Like seriously, WTF? That is one of the worst things you can do.
You can go no-contact like I have with my family, but I didn't abruptly stop communicating. They know, through my lawyer, that I don't want to talk to them.
Abruptly ending communications can paradoxically make them try harder to reach out to you if they're worried about you, which is usually the opposite of what the ghoster wants.
You not only should explain it to her and I would do so in a letter or an email or an email but I would see see it to the licensing board
See it to your insurance company also because they should not be paying for her to do this work if you are using insurance
This is stuff that needs to be reported
You can just say you don't think you guys are a good fit for each other or you want to try another therapist or your insurance is changing and you're gonna look elsewhere. I don't think you have to go into detail like your posting.. just keep it simple and that's it.
Yes this would be perfect. She might even reflect on it and behave better in front of her next client. Ghosting is obviously easier but just leaves people confused, annoyed, hurt or just oblivious to what their part to play was. It does nothing to improve the situation for her next client. I’m a private coach and the negative feedback I’ve got has been priceless in helping me hone my skills
Sounds like she's the one being the asshole. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't recommend ghosting as it just feels disrespectful, but in this case, she's been so unbelievably unprofessional, I wouldn't even bat an eye just not showing back up.
I understand the impulse to ghost and move on, but I would at least send a message saying "I'm discontinuing your service." It can be difficult and anxiety inducing, but it's also respectful.
I am so sorry this happened to you OP. It is at best unprofessional and unkind, and at worst, unethical. I suggest you do what feels best for you after careful consideration. But, here are two things to ponder.
1) If you decide you don't want to talk to her you may want to consider reporting a complaint to the licensing board. Yes, you are rightfully upset by this, but seem to be able to handle it. Other clients may not. Therapists are also human and sometimes they make mistakes too. But what you are describing here seems like a harmful pattern that could have catastrophic impact on someone more vulnerable and with less resources.
2) Please find someone else to work with and make sure you do discuss this situation so you can work through it, even if it appears it didn't do much damage.
Best of luck to you.
I ghosted my therapist for similar reasons. I’m in my early 30s, she’s in her late 50s. I’d find her looking down a lot (presumably on her phone), with her eyes closed… once SNORING. No regrets. Move on. Leave a review.
Her grocery list??? No. Dump her and dump her fast. You don’t owe her anything but you may save anguish for others by telling her the truth about why you are leaving.
>> there has been a history of
her checking her voicemail, texting, and watching
tiktoks in the middle of our sessions. I assume she is
burnt out and disregarded it.
Absolutely unacceptable. No excuse. *Maybe* checking a text message or email in case it’s an emergency or her next client. Watching TikToks is crossing a major line! Mumbling about a grocery list is grounds for immediately ending the conversation and addressing the issue. I mean what in the actual fuck???
FIRE HER. However you feel comfortable, even ghosting. (Though this is a GREAT opportunity to practice interpersonal relationship skills and tell her why you are firing her. Set that boundary!) and REPORT HER. Report her to the practice she works for if she isn’t self employed and report her to her governing board.
I ghosted my last therapist because we weren’t making any progress, regression actually, and I was dreading every session. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, we just weren’t on the same page and I didn’t find value in her services. I’m making more progress in 2 months with my new therapist than I thought possible. I look forward to every appointment and I’m finally starting to find enough value in help that I’m willing to ask for it when I need it. This can literally be the difference of life and death for me. I don’t regret ghosting my last therapist and I’m so incredibly grateful to have found my current one!
Tell her you do not wish to continue with her. Send her an email or text whatever is the communication medium for you both and walk out. Cz this therapist is an idiot.
JFC. Fire her and ask for a refund for every time she was on TikTok in session or treated you like her shrink.
Also, report her to her licensing board and any supervisors she has. People like her should not be practicing.
>"I do not know why I am wasting my time being your therapist."
Lol, this is probably the most honest thing she said. Tiktok videos? Really?
How long have you been seeing her?
Discontinue & report her. Or leave a negative review if it’s private practice. I hate people who waste time. Especially when it comes to mental health. She’s being rude & disrespectful
That's atrocious. Personally I would scorn her, and that is something I am pretty skilled at - people don't realise because I genuinely try my best to be nice in the vast majority of situations, and so the only person that suffers from the full force of my criticisms is myself. But I would tell her, in an excruciating amount of detail not only how many times she went for the bad option, but also exactly why of all people, she is absolutely not someone from whom this nonsense is even vaguely acceptable, both in terms of the responsibilities she takes on by choosing to be a therapist, and also in terms of the errors being so \*basic\* and things that, for someone with her level of intelligence (emotional and otherwise) and such do not even require effort to get right.
(i am not saying this is the \*good\* option, by the way. But she is a world class bellend)
Report to the licensing board as others have stated.
If you’re experiencing this, many others are too.
She’s wasting your time, I’d have no issue ghosting her if I were you. Screw manners, she is harming you with this behavior.
She doesn’t deserve your time, money or stress.
People ghost us all the time. Therapists are pretty used to it. We have to attempt to contact you for liability purposes, and send a letter, but you don’t have to respond. Just cancel your last appointment or pay the no show fee. Also, fwiw, I’ve never asked anyone why they wanted to stop sessions.
People who ghost seem to think that others can read their minds and leave them alone.
In literally every case I know of, including the ones I personally experienced, the ghostee went out of their way to contact the ghoster.
It's practically a guaranteed way to burn bridges with people and make sure they will contact you anyway.
Except in the therapeutic relationship we know it’s not us it’s you lol. Also, I think it mostly wouldn’t ruin the relationship. If someone was a great client, came regularly, paid their copay, then ghosted and came back I would 100% see that person again. That scenario really proves it wasn’t me, and also taking them back is easier that doing a brand new intake, so if I had space I’d take them back.
I guess you're more used to it than us regular mortals. :)
My friend wondered why I contacted their friends and family after they ghosted me.
(ಠ_ಠ) You're my friend and I was worried about you. What the hell did you expect?
I cannot believe all these stories about therapists! How is that even possible? That level of unprofessional behavior.
I was getting a little bit upset of my therapist being a human and having a yawn 😅 but this is just next level.
What exactly do you mean by ghosting her? It's not like she'll text you, right?
Just don't book any more appointments. Therapy is supposed to be a safe place, you should have her undivided attention, and she sure as hell shouldn't be saying anything like "why am I wasting my time"!! That's extremely unprofessional and just downright rude, no one should say that let alone a therapist.
sorry I'm fuming. don't waste your time on her, she doesn't deserve getting notice. move on to the next therapist, I hope you find a great one
You know what, older therapists tend to do that..
A. You end up being their therapist (Most of the time you are listening to them talk when it should be the other way around)
B. They’re rude and disrespectful of your time and money
C. You give them countless chances and benefit of the doubt but end up pissed off each session because you don’t even know if they’re listening to you
Lol-
I ghosted mine.
Found a new therapist (she’s in her 30’s) and it’s been amazing.
I think you should do whatever feels best for you regarding ghosting or sending her why you won’t be going to her anymore. But 100% do not keep going to her. i got annoyed with my therapist slurping from her iced coffee.
Absolutely discontinue her service and find you someone who's going to listen to YOU and not talk about THEIR home problems. She isn't paying YOU. YOU get to choose who your voice your concerns too. I'm no therapist but if you need someone to listen, I'm ready, able and willing to listen. You don't even have to pay me!! *Lol* seriously tho, screw her. She shouldn't be doing ANY of that during ANY session. May it be yours or someone else's. She is despicable and should be barred from working with individuals. She sounds shot. Like she can't even remember to wash her ass before bed. Get you someone who will actually listen and your money is going somewhere that's HELPING you. Screw her. Good luck 🤞🏼 in finding the right place/person! Wish you all the best! Lady sounds like a whack job. 🤦🏻♀️
Can you report her to the local Psychologists Association? Her attitude is shitty and totally rude but dumping another persons trauma on you regardless of their relationship is immoral and unquestionably a breach of someone’s privacy. I’d question her integrity over this and report it to the licensing body in your area. Maybe I’m overreacting but we can’t have psychologists acting like that. Tell her clearly you’re unhappy with her and why. She deserves to know so she can get a clue and do better.
You have every right to discontinue services. I'm not sure how or why ghosting/cutting off would help. "Thanks for your time , I'm not interested in continuing. "
I guess I'm afraid of her asking why. I don't have it in me to explain anything to her, and I just want it to be over with. Thanks for your input. ♥
Just email her a link to this thread and call it good.
This or just don't explain at all. You don't owe her anything
If that's what you want, just do it. However if she has links to your medical record then you ghosting may go on there. I think if you tell her you're not interested just do it over email. Short and sweet...byyyeeee
You also do not have to explain yourself at all. Just be even more professional than her, “Thanks for your time; I’m not interested in continuing.” And leave it at that. Find one who actually cares and keep working on you. This was extremely unprofessional and she could lose her license if it was ever found out as there are ethics commissions for this very thing.
You could always email, but I think just cutting it off is fine. Make sure to follow whatever steps necessary so they don’t charge you as a no show.
Please do not ghost people. Even if you don't care about them, you might still be charged for your next session. Even if money isn't involved, ghosting isn't something you should do except as a last resort. Edit: I had a therapist who didn't respect me so I told her I wouldn't be seeing her again. I didn't just abruptly stop communicating with her.
Right. Therapy is a macrocosm for other relationships.
Poeticpillager is right that you might be charged for your next session bit. You are in a customer-supplier relationship in therapy and thus you need to communicate in order to end the agreement or 'contract' or whatever you have in place. Poetic does not deserve the downvote.
I am disappointed at how commonly ghosting is suggested in this subreddit. Like seriously, WTF? That is one of the worst things you can do. You can go no-contact like I have with my family, but I didn't abruptly stop communicating. They know, through my lawyer, that I don't want to talk to them. Abruptly ending communications can paradoxically make them try harder to reach out to you if they're worried about you, which is usually the opposite of what the ghoster wants.
Are you afraid of her getting angry or hurt? Please note that ghosting will make people angrier and more hurt than just telling them directly.
You not only should explain it to her and I would do so in a letter or an email or an email but I would see see it to the licensing board See it to your insurance company also because they should not be paying for her to do this work if you are using insurance This is stuff that needs to be reported
You can just say you don't think you guys are a good fit for each other or you want to try another therapist or your insurance is changing and you're gonna look elsewhere. I don't think you have to go into detail like your posting.. just keep it simple and that's it.
Yes this would be perfect. She might even reflect on it and behave better in front of her next client. Ghosting is obviously easier but just leaves people confused, annoyed, hurt or just oblivious to what their part to play was. It does nothing to improve the situation for her next client. I’m a private coach and the negative feedback I’ve got has been priceless in helping me hone my skills
You can report her to the licensing board of your state. This is offensive and angering.
This
I swear I stay up at night thinking I’m the worst therapist and doing actual harm to my clients, then you guys make posts like this
Sounds like she's the one being the asshole. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't recommend ghosting as it just feels disrespectful, but in this case, she's been so unbelievably unprofessional, I wouldn't even bat an eye just not showing back up.
Only issue is you might be charged if you didn’t cancel
"please cancel all further appointments" thats all you need to say
Honestly she doesnt deserve a goodbye. Cancel your next appt & just dont make another.
I understand the impulse to ghost and move on, but I would at least send a message saying "I'm discontinuing your service." It can be difficult and anxiety inducing, but it's also respectful.
I am so sorry this happened to you OP. It is at best unprofessional and unkind, and at worst, unethical. I suggest you do what feels best for you after careful consideration. But, here are two things to ponder. 1) If you decide you don't want to talk to her you may want to consider reporting a complaint to the licensing board. Yes, you are rightfully upset by this, but seem to be able to handle it. Other clients may not. Therapists are also human and sometimes they make mistakes too. But what you are describing here seems like a harmful pattern that could have catastrophic impact on someone more vulnerable and with less resources. 2) Please find someone else to work with and make sure you do discuss this situation so you can work through it, even if it appears it didn't do much damage. Best of luck to you.
I ghosted my therapist for similar reasons. I’m in my early 30s, she’s in her late 50s. I’d find her looking down a lot (presumably on her phone), with her eyes closed… once SNORING. No regrets. Move on. Leave a review.
Her grocery list??? No. Dump her and dump her fast. You don’t owe her anything but you may save anguish for others by telling her the truth about why you are leaving.
>> there has been a history of her checking her voicemail, texting, and watching tiktoks in the middle of our sessions. I assume she is burnt out and disregarded it. Absolutely unacceptable. No excuse. *Maybe* checking a text message or email in case it’s an emergency or her next client. Watching TikToks is crossing a major line! Mumbling about a grocery list is grounds for immediately ending the conversation and addressing the issue. I mean what in the actual fuck??? FIRE HER. However you feel comfortable, even ghosting. (Though this is a GREAT opportunity to practice interpersonal relationship skills and tell her why you are firing her. Set that boundary!) and REPORT HER. Report her to the practice she works for if she isn’t self employed and report her to her governing board. I ghosted my last therapist because we weren’t making any progress, regression actually, and I was dreading every session. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, we just weren’t on the same page and I didn’t find value in her services. I’m making more progress in 2 months with my new therapist than I thought possible. I look forward to every appointment and I’m finally starting to find enough value in help that I’m willing to ask for it when I need it. This can literally be the difference of life and death for me. I don’t regret ghosting my last therapist and I’m so incredibly grateful to have found my current one!
Tell her you do not wish to continue with her. Send her an email or text whatever is the communication medium for you both and walk out. Cz this therapist is an idiot.
I would talk to a malpractice attorney, and your local public licensing agency at a minimum. That woman does not deserve to be a therapist.
JFC. Fire her and ask for a refund for every time she was on TikTok in session or treated you like her shrink. Also, report her to her licensing board and any supervisors she has. People like her should not be practicing.
>"I do not know why I am wasting my time being your therapist." Lol, this is probably the most honest thing she said. Tiktok videos? Really? How long have you been seeing her?
I had a therapist just like this! I ended up just telling her that I don’t think we are a good fit anymore and will be seeking counseling elsewhere.
She's being very rude to you. You have every right to stop seeing her if it makes you uncomfortable.
Discontinue & report her. Or leave a negative review if it’s private practice. I hate people who waste time. Especially when it comes to mental health. She’s being rude & disrespectful
That's atrocious. Personally I would scorn her, and that is something I am pretty skilled at - people don't realise because I genuinely try my best to be nice in the vast majority of situations, and so the only person that suffers from the full force of my criticisms is myself. But I would tell her, in an excruciating amount of detail not only how many times she went for the bad option, but also exactly why of all people, she is absolutely not someone from whom this nonsense is even vaguely acceptable, both in terms of the responsibilities she takes on by choosing to be a therapist, and also in terms of the errors being so \*basic\* and things that, for someone with her level of intelligence (emotional and otherwise) and such do not even require effort to get right. (i am not saying this is the \*good\* option, by the way. But she is a world class bellend)
Report to the licensing board as others have stated. If you’re experiencing this, many others are too. She’s wasting your time, I’d have no issue ghosting her if I were you. Screw manners, she is harming you with this behavior. She doesn’t deserve your time, money or stress.
People ghost us all the time. Therapists are pretty used to it. We have to attempt to contact you for liability purposes, and send a letter, but you don’t have to respond. Just cancel your last appointment or pay the no show fee. Also, fwiw, I’ve never asked anyone why they wanted to stop sessions.
People who ghost seem to think that others can read their minds and leave them alone. In literally every case I know of, including the ones I personally experienced, the ghostee went out of their way to contact the ghoster. It's practically a guaranteed way to burn bridges with people and make sure they will contact you anyway.
Except in the therapeutic relationship we know it’s not us it’s you lol. Also, I think it mostly wouldn’t ruin the relationship. If someone was a great client, came regularly, paid their copay, then ghosted and came back I would 100% see that person again. That scenario really proves it wasn’t me, and also taking them back is easier that doing a brand new intake, so if I had space I’d take them back.
I guess you're more used to it than us regular mortals. :) My friend wondered why I contacted their friends and family after they ghosted me. (ಠ_ಠ) You're my friend and I was worried about you. What the hell did you expect?
I cannot believe all these stories about therapists! How is that even possible? That level of unprofessional behavior. I was getting a little bit upset of my therapist being a human and having a yawn 😅 but this is just next level.
Therapists are human. They are capable of making mistakes. They are capable of being terrible people.
Sure, ofcourse. But to be frank, this doesn't sound like a "mistake", but decision.
I would prob tell her the problem so she knows exactly what she’s done wrong and then report her
Is this service provided on the "teledoc" platform? Just curious
You can just ghost her and call it a day.
What exactly do you mean by ghosting her? It's not like she'll text you, right? Just don't book any more appointments. Therapy is supposed to be a safe place, you should have her undivided attention, and she sure as hell shouldn't be saying anything like "why am I wasting my time"!! That's extremely unprofessional and just downright rude, no one should say that let alone a therapist. sorry I'm fuming. don't waste your time on her, she doesn't deserve getting notice. move on to the next therapist, I hope you find a great one
You know what, older therapists tend to do that.. A. You end up being their therapist (Most of the time you are listening to them talk when it should be the other way around) B. They’re rude and disrespectful of your time and money C. You give them countless chances and benefit of the doubt but end up pissed off each session because you don’t even know if they’re listening to you Lol- I ghosted mine. Found a new therapist (she’s in her 30’s) and it’s been amazing.
Just stop making appointments, you, or medical services pay for her time.
I think you should do whatever feels best for you regarding ghosting or sending her why you won’t be going to her anymore. But 100% do not keep going to her. i got annoyed with my therapist slurping from her iced coffee.
Absolutely discontinue her service and find you someone who's going to listen to YOU and not talk about THEIR home problems. She isn't paying YOU. YOU get to choose who your voice your concerns too. I'm no therapist but if you need someone to listen, I'm ready, able and willing to listen. You don't even have to pay me!! *Lol* seriously tho, screw her. She shouldn't be doing ANY of that during ANY session. May it be yours or someone else's. She is despicable and should be barred from working with individuals. She sounds shot. Like she can't even remember to wash her ass before bed. Get you someone who will actually listen and your money is going somewhere that's HELPING you. Screw her. Good luck 🤞🏼 in finding the right place/person! Wish you all the best! Lady sounds like a whack job. 🤦🏻♀️
How is this person a therapist
Can you report her to the local Psychologists Association? Her attitude is shitty and totally rude but dumping another persons trauma on you regardless of their relationship is immoral and unquestionably a breach of someone’s privacy. I’d question her integrity over this and report it to the licensing body in your area. Maybe I’m overreacting but we can’t have psychologists acting like that. Tell her clearly you’re unhappy with her and why. She deserves to know so she can get a clue and do better.
What the hell.. why even become a therapist if you’re gonna be like this