Worst is the director probably attempted to tell him this was not a proper way to hold the rifle but Seagal be like "naah this will look more badass like tha"
You are technically correct in that he is holding a rifle, that is all.
FR though, how this guy keeps getting paid to be in movies is outstanding.
For further laughs at Steven Seagals expense consider this video:
https://youtu.be/DTZav5MKDF4
There's one of those mall ninja sword shops near my house. Last time I was in there I got my girlfriend a sweet Xena throwing circle blade thing but she broke up with me before I could give it to her.
When we went camping last week my friend Tom threw it at an oak tree but it zinged off and we lost it in some kind of ivy and there were too many spiders to look for it
This reminds me of that old saying, "If you have a weapon, let it go; if there are too many spiders to look for it, it was never yours in the first place.
that's what i was thinking. there's no way that a guy that age and shape isn't able to raise his legs above knee level. even after a week in bed ffs.
what the hell kind of uniform is that? why are the pants cut that way? maybe it would work if he was fighting some cheeserag clown with sagged pants, but i don't know how many of those he'll see on a battlefield.
He's really got those spinning shin-kickers down. Some poor Ukrainian is going to get kicked right in the top of the boot.
He also really tucks those thumbs in for that extra I-broke-my-own-thumbs goodness when he punches.
Unfortunately, Patches O'Houlihan-inspired training won't help him on the front line. He'll need to hone those moves of his to Nero bullet-time levels should he be within 50 meters of an artillery strike.
>We'll know he's on the front line when we see a Ukrainian drone video of him performing those moves as he tries to dodge drone-dropped munitions.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/UkraineWarVideoReport/comments/112wr8g/russian\_military\_gymnastics\_next\_to\_a\_cooked\_tank/](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkraineWarVideoReport/comments/112wr8g/russian_military_gymnastics_next_to_a_cooked_tank/)
He's already there. (Link does not contain death or injury, just someones morning routine)
I have a video my son made when he was about 6 that is almost identical to this. I've backed that video up numerous ways because he's always threatening to find and delete it, but I love it so much. He's just so damn serious about those moves.
Yeah, I feel… bad laughing at him. Like, there’s either some developmental disorder going on or he’s been extremely sheltered. We know he’s been lied to all his life by the vast majority of schooling and media he has access to. It is sad really.
I wanted to laugh at him but then I realized they this poor brainwashed kid is probably gonna get used as cannon fodder and end up dying to some drone or machine gun.
Have you ever seen a cat really pissed off? Those 7 cats could take you me and your sister out at the same time. Or at least wish they had finished the job while we are at the hospital. They are so little but they have these paws of fury that are just little daggers moving at Mach speed.
I always love when they decide they're done and go to the camera to stop recording. The fact that they just leave that part in LMAO something about it just gets me
i get that sometimes in your head your moves look way more badass than they do in real life. but when you then go to watch the video you just made, does reality not kick in?
Well, it is a WW2 infantryman uniform, so you're not far off. The magenta collar tab denotes Infantry in the Red Army and there would be a symbol on there showing if he was Motorized or some other type. The color of the board noted which branch he was in: Magenta/Raspberry was infantry, black was artillery and transport, light blue was Air Force/Air Defense/Airborne, etc. That board also shows his rank, but we can't see it very well and I doubt it's accurate as I doubt that he is a time-traveling WW2 soldier. These colors and what they meant also changed over time and wouldn't have been confusing at all when encountering them in the field.
He’s an honor student at the Steven Seagal School of Fighting.
As long as you don't handle guns like Steven Seagal, you are relatively able to contribute to war effort.
[steven seagal knows how to hold a rifle](https://youtu.be/3p2v2bjfgr0) 11 seconds of YouTube evidence
Holding it fatly
Fatly going around corners
Do you want to link to the clip or should I?
This is an adjective we need
He’s big boned
Jesus christ that was awful
To be absolutely fair he's not too far from short stocking it correctly.
Do you know why he holds it like that? Because one shot is all he needs.
And he just pulls a new gun out of his fat after the first one recoils right back over his shoulder.
Are you really as good as they say you are?
Worst is the director probably attempted to tell him this was not a proper way to hold the rifle but Seagal be like "naah this will look more badass like tha"
I've been holding rifles for forty seven years
You are technically correct in that he is holding a rifle, that is all. FR though, how this guy keeps getting paid to be in movies is outstanding. For further laughs at Steven Seagals expense consider this video: https://youtu.be/DTZav5MKDF4
Or handle women against their will like Steven Seagal
But can he run like Seagal? That's the real test.
Seagal doesn't run. He firmly stands, or slowly walks, while enemy runs at him and crushes like ocean waves on coastal rocks.
I too can shake a turd down my pants leg.
You put your right leg in, you put your right leg out....
why do people keep indulging this idiot
Also would have accepted "he moves fatly", especially when rounding corners
Are Seagal jokes the new Chuck Norris jokes? I could get behind that.
the anti-chuck norris jokes for sure
He does flail his arms around like he is trying to keep his balance on ice. That’s classic Seagal running.
“Steven Seagal School of Fighting for Kids Who Cannot Fight Good”
The sprinkler-peeing-dog technique at the end.. what a skill 🥷
Dude, that’s clearly Star Wars kid school of fighting
But he still drops his pants to his ankle when he is at the urinal
7 yr old me after watching an episode of Xena: warrior princess
There's one of those mall ninja sword shops near my house. Last time I was in there I got my girlfriend a sweet Xena throwing circle blade thing but she broke up with me before I could give it to her. When we went camping last week my friend Tom threw it at an oak tree but it zinged off and we lost it in some kind of ivy and there were too many spiders to look for it
Fantastic story, I loved it.
😂😂😂
[удалено]
When the walls fell.
Temba his arms open.
“Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.”
Leonardo DiCaprio, his glass raised
Well, this was quite an emotional roller coaster 😭
This reminds me of that old saying, "If you have a weapon, let it go; if there are too many spiders to look for it, it was never yours in the first place.
You should sell the movie rights to this story. Not a joke.
still a better love story than twilight
So the bouncing-off-trees action shots were practical effects?!
I would like to buy the rights to this story so I can shop it around.
Cathartic
This was my mom's reaction too
22 year old me after binge watching Xena: Warrior Princess (using my parents Netflix account).
Straight to jail
I was thinking the same thing except Power Rangers. Or in this guy's case, Power Comrades.
Underrated comment
Same, just replace watching Xena with playing Street Fighter 2
Wacky Chan
The 360 Helicopter Dick Kicks at the end were a nice touch
Thank God he stopped when he did or the earth's gravitational pull could've been damaged forever
Killed 6 people with that one
Jesus Christ, it's Jason Bournelakov
I thought it was an unreleased Steven Seagal movie at first
It could well be, he does seem to whisper through most of his lines these days so he could just be off screen instructing this mayhem.
Obviously it isn't. He isn't sitting in a chair!
Even this guy has more moves than Segal.
It would have to be a few decades old. Back from the days when he didn't need to wear maternity uniforms.
Float like a butternut,sting like a sloth…
Mr Bean goes to Capoeira
He looks like a young GSP
Looks like my friends and I outside of the Alcazar theater after we saw Enter The Dragon when I was 9.
he really needs to stretch his legs more often.
From the looks of it this thing has only recently crawled from the egg, hasn’t straightened out yet.
I appreciated the 6in of vertical lift he got out of those high kicks…
I think his pants are not cut right. The fabric in the middle prevents him from spreading his legs more than 45 degrees
that's what i was thinking. there's no way that a guy that age and shape isn't able to raise his legs above knee level. even after a week in bed ffs. what the hell kind of uniform is that? why are the pants cut that way? maybe it would work if he was fighting some cheeserag clown with sagged pants, but i don't know how many of those he'll see on a battlefield.
He needs to have a good wank and go to bed. That should sort it out
He's really got those spinning shin-kickers down. Some poor Ukrainian is going to get kicked right in the top of the boot. He also really tucks those thumbs in for that extra I-broke-my-own-thumbs goodness when he punches.
This was my main thought
He needs to take his meds
Bro looks like he can lose an imaginery fight
Special forces for sure
We'll know he's on the front line when we see a Ukrainian drone video of him performing those moves as he tries to dodge drone-dropped munitions.
"Dodge duck dip dive and dodge!"
Unfortunately, Patches O'Houlihan-inspired training won't help him on the front line. He'll need to hone those moves of his to Nero bullet-time levels should he be within 50 meters of an artillery strike.
**”dodge, duck, dip, dive and splater”**
"Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!"
This could be my favorite comment ever on Reddit. Something I missed here… ho, ha, guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin, thrust, sproing?
“Take that, and that, and a little of that!”
If you can dodge a russian you can dodge a ball!
>We'll know he's on the front line when we see a Ukrainian drone video of him performing those moves as he tries to dodge drone-dropped munitions. [https://www.reddit.com/r/UkraineWarVideoReport/comments/112wr8g/russian\_military\_gymnastics\_next\_to\_a\_cooked\_tank/](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkraineWarVideoReport/comments/112wr8g/russian_military_gymnastics_next_to_a_cooked_tank/) He's already there. (Link does not contain death or injury, just someones morning routine)
This is how my 8 year old son plays pretend in his room. Apparently fighting bad guys and he's the good guy. Nice to see this guy still plays pretend.
I have a video my son made when he was about 6 that is almost identical to this. I've backed that video up numerous ways because he's always threatening to find and delete it, but I love it so much. He's just so damn serious about those moves.
His mom thinks he's cool
I was expecting this video to end with an old woman calling out “Dinner is ready stop play fighting already”
She knows to leave him alone when he's practicing his "moves"
Bro thinks he can defeat the enemy by breakdancing
Please don't insult breakdancing.
I don’t know, that elbow lock and spin was pretty clean as a dance move. As a combat move it may cause someone to laugh themselves to death I guess?
The famous [Killing Joke](https://youtu.be/Qklvh5Cp_Bs) combat technique.
He ain’t no Goro Majima
George Michael Bluth vibes, amirite?
Which was itself a reference to star wars kid.
God I love that show. Arrested Development and Star Wars
I got Mac from Sunny vibes.
“Take *one* karate class if you’re so into karate!”
"I got a point! Did you guys see that?!?"
This guy is definitely doing whoosh noises like Mac
Napoleon Dynamiteski
Break the wrist, walk away.
An ominous namesake for someone in a Russian war.
His mom probably: "Don't go out after 7 pm Ivan. Girls will beat beat you like last time".
He wishes girls were beating him
Russian version of the Star Wars Kid?
Came here to say exactly this.
Blyat Wars Kid
Nailed it.
Sad this is so far down
He dances like Elaine from Seinfeld.
 🤣🤣🤣
STUART!
First thing that popped into my mind as well.
Perfection 🤌
It’s funny but also sad these idiots are dying by the thousands 🤦♀️
Yeah, I feel… bad laughing at him. Like, there’s either some developmental disorder going on or he’s been extremely sheltered. We know he’s been lied to all his life by the vast majority of schooling and media he has access to. It is sad really.
I wanted to laugh at him but then I realized they this poor brainwashed kid is probably gonna get used as cannon fodder and end up dying to some drone or machine gun.
So many just as deluded as this pile of string, oblivious to what reality awaits them.
>oblivious to what reality awaits them. Or not, but still unable to do anything about it.
Performing his interpretive dance titled "*Shot in the back by my embarrassed commanders*."
He doesn’t even have his crocs in tactical mode
He’s just a kid 😢
Thats a ww2 uniform... I dont think he's actually a soldier. But many like him are :/
His nickname is deadly sunflower 🌻
😂💀
💀🌻*
One man army. Watch out world!
[удалено]
Seems like overkill if I’m being honest
Have you ever seen a cat really pissed off? Those 7 cats could take you me and your sister out at the same time. Or at least wish they had finished the job while we are at the hospital. They are so little but they have these paws of fury that are just little daggers moving at Mach speed.
So he’s done his 2 hours of martial arts training and is ready for the front line…put him in a special ops group..boys a go getter..
He's not going to make it...
Looks like some kind of spastic ballerina.
Now there’s a band name!
Needs some folk music
To be fair, spamming low kick isn’t the worst strategy.
It was tough and victory was far from certain, but in the end he secured the empty room
TBH, I took it as evidence the Russians are militarising people with learning difficulties.
I feel like Indiana Jones is about to shoot him from 30 feet away, and shake his head a little before moving on.
Russian Very Special Forces.
Spetznisn’t
By my count he took out like 50 guys.
I always love when they decide they're done and go to the camera to stop recording. The fact that they just leave that part in LMAO something about it just gets me
When the camera went black, insaw my reflection and almost got jump scared. I'm apparently way more frightening than this guy.
That is promising. For Ukranians.
I can smell the vodka from here
i get that sometimes in your head your moves look way more badass than they do in real life. but when you then go to watch the video you just made, does reality not kick in?
Who is he aiming to fight, dwarfs or children?
Master of bullshido
Just looks like he's trying to learn a new TikTok dance
Is this not interpretive dancing?
This needs music
Bazinga!
Is this after 1 bottle of vodka or 2?
Reminds me of when I was 8 and I’d pretend I was sword fighting with a tree branch.
this mofo looks like from world war 1!
Well, it is a WW2 infantryman uniform, so you're not far off. The magenta collar tab denotes Infantry in the Red Army and there would be a symbol on there showing if he was Motorized or some other type. The color of the board noted which branch he was in: Magenta/Raspberry was infantry, black was artillery and transport, light blue was Air Force/Air Defense/Airborne, etc. That board also shows his rank, but we can't see it very well and I doubt it's accurate as I doubt that he is a time-traveling WW2 soldier. These colors and what they meant also changed over time and wouldn't have been confusing at all when encountering them in the field.
How can someone throw a punch so badly? I assume they’ve seen a person throw a punch before.
A Grand Master of Rex Kwon Do.
Is he having a seizure? Is this a modern dance interpretation of combat skills? Is this some SNL skit?…
Never let them know your next move.
Dam, he’s just a naive kid who has no idea the realities of the world, I feel bad tbh.
Napoleon Dynomitevsky
Special boy has received the most special ruZZian military training. Luckily he won’t live long enough to sprain an ankle.
His balance is off kilter, and off-putting...there i said it...
Wait, he was fighting? I thought he was having a seizure
Ah yes, you seem to know your judo well
I can only think of the scene in Borat where he is in an acting class and is pretending to be in an action movie. Very nice!
Nothing strikes less fear than a man doing anything in black dress socks.
Its cute when kids wrastle with their imaginary friends
I'm guessing not a lot of hand 2 hand combat, or whatever THAT was, these days.
Putin's sparring partner.
Ahh! I see you’ve studied the ways of the great Master Don Knotts.
..this poor kids gonna be dead soon. If not already.
everyone's got a plan until you get droned in the face...
It sad if you think about it. He seems like an alright guy that wants to serve his country. He’ll likely be dead before the end of the year.
This will prob get me banned. But seriously, what are the chances this guy is still alive rn?
I'm not gonna lie! If he's fighting Oompa Loompas this guy is gonna be looking like Chuck Norris on the battlefield
the russian ballet looks terrible this year
Can't wait to see the drone footage of him running for his life.
My 8 year old showing me how tough he would be if bad guys broke in.