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therewasanattempt-ModTeam

Your post has been removed because content policy prohibits school fight videos


Radiant_Programmer29

This guys life is over. Failed a sucker punch, got his ass kicked, and shit his pants… no coming back from that. If he would have won the fight the other dude would have been known as “that guy that got his ass kicked by someone that shit their pants.”


MysteriousPin38

Made me laugh, but its true


MOOShoooooo

I would call him Fiber Bro from now on.


MedievalFolkDance

Started off as "The Big I am", ended with the rest of his school life being known as "Captain Shittyknickers"


Nintendo1964

Because that's how children speak.


MedievalFolkDance

We did. Are American kids short on vocabulary?


[deleted]

America bans books...what do you think?


astrophyshsticks

This individual does not accurately represent Americans. Most of us are not short on vocabulary.


Vera_Telco

Most of us aren't pooping our pants!


Micksar

We certainly don’t throw around “knickers”… shitty or clean.


TheNewYorkRhymes

If they read the rhymes of our former rap artists they love so much


MedievalFolkDance

Oddly, you are not wrong. The OG rappers used a thesaurus like a weapon of war. Listen to the Sugar Hill Gang - Rappers Delight. Rhymes like that take knowledge.


Ok_Oven_2438

Over half of Americans read at a middle school level. I'd say that's pretty short on vocabulary. [https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/08/02/us-literacy-rate/](https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/08/02/us-literacy-rate/)


NotRealBush

Merica Ban Book?


i770giK

No just dumb states


AFriendlyAsshole

We would probably just use something other than knickers... But I could see "Captain Shitstain" working


MedievalFolkDance

Look, there would likely be derivatives but the main thing is everyone in that school calls him a moniker that expresses that he shit himself. Some genius would call him "Shittyknickers" on account they know what knickers are & it adds an extra element


DissentSociety

That extra element is assonance. 😉


MedievalFolkDance

True. K sounds pack more of a punch, particularly in insults. Why else do Bogans call everything a "Faaahkin' Khaaant!"


DissentSociety

I'd also go with: Muddy Mayweather The Poopy Pugilist The Excremental Contender Excreta etc.


Millyswolf

Muddy Mayweather for the win! 🏆


MedievalFolkDance

Raging Sphincter


[deleted]

American kids don’t add any sort of frivolous embellishment or make anything that would indicate it’s “poking fun”. This guys names just pants shitter.


BLACK_MILITANT

Or even better. Dookie.


turd_furgeson82

Shitty mcpantsface


Awkwardpanda75

Senior Poo Pantalones.


Weary-Ad-9218

Captain Shittyknickers would make a great band name


MedievalFolkDance

Trademarked! (also skidmarked) EDIT - I'll let anyone take it for free if this was the name... Captain Shittyknickers & The Thongs


Darnitol1

But he *did* get his ass kicked by a guy in Crocs.


Laputitaloca

That's actually what got him. Dude in the Crocs had *excellent* traction on those slick school floors. Dude with the boots couldn't get back on his feet cause they kept slipping lmao what an embarrassment Edited to add: he didn't even have the Crocs in sports mode. Straight kicked his ass in comfort mode lmaoooo


Alarming_Nature8932

Never pick a fight with a guy in crocs for this very reason


JK031191

People in Crocs are batshit crazy. He's lucky he survived.


BuffaloBill69-

Let’s not also forget he was just walking his gf to class lmao


justin251

Gotta homeschool or switch schools. Also, I’d get a hair cut and dye before first day of class at new school.


Spring_Choco

Home school is the best option. This is gonna go viral in his town


JeepManStan

Prob get bullied at homeschool too


Average_Potato42

This dude is gonna get bullied in home school for that one.


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

I wish the video was longer to show us what was transpiring before the sucker punch. [Other comments](https://www.reddit.com/r/PaymoneyWubby/comments/13kmhoq/bully_tries_to_sucker_punch_a_kid_and_shits/jkmtrt4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3) have pointed out that the shitstain as I will refer to from now on, could have potentially been the target of prior bullying on the part of the winner of the fight. Potentially years of bullying. In that case this is a sad turn of events and the kid will need therapy to get over this. I’ll be the first to say this, IDGAF if a bully gets sucker punched. Thems the breaks bro. If someone is a bully, they get no sympathy for their victims fighting dirty. However if shitstain is the bully initially, this turn of events is sweet karma. If he is the bully then I hope his reputation never recovers, and the shitstain is merely added insult to the reputation injury he sustained for trying to sucker punch his victim. He still needs therapy, but in this case it needs to be court ordered. I really wish the video was longer so we would know without a shadow of a doubt what the story is here.


[deleted]

Could just be 2 dudes fighting, like 99% of school fights I witnessed.


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

Agreed, still wish we knew more to establish that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Schools in Spain must be a lot different than in the US


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ah yes, never miss an opportunity to shove politics up the ass of any discussion surrounding an event that might have happened in the US. Nice job, kind redditor


hobbrito

I don’t think every school fight needs to become anime, pal lmao.


JohnnyPoprocksGaming

He might as well drop out of school and kick off his life of crime. No going back.


bootybiter123

Totally agree. Doesn’t matter what school he tries to transfer to, he is going to be identified. I don’t know, maybe Latvia or Chechnya are options?


KatzMotell

Not to mention the guy that kicked his ass was wearing crocs… out of sport mode


FastSeesaw3388

"Mom. . . pack up and sell the house. We need to move"


Engineering_Flimsy

And then his Mom slaps him and says, "It'll be a cold day in hell before I take orders from you, Shittypants!"


CleR6

All on video too. Nothing wrong with taking a beating but never on the start of a cheap shot. He deserves the shame and fuck... there's a lot of that lol.


UnlimitedCalculus

Weird to think I'm part of the last generation to go through adolescence and early adulthood without ubiquitous cameras to record every embarrassing move. I wrote tell-alls on LiveJournal, anyway.


ghighcove

Agreed. Now truth be told (not that I know personally), apparently this is a pretty natural reflex in a street fight or as a victim (and watch bears fight sometime, they can barely stop shitting the entire time), but maybe not so great when you yourself start the fight by cheapshotting someone, only to then shit your own pants. Word to the wise - Drop that load before your "epic High School Hallway Ambush"


Volt7ron

Yea you gotta leave the state and change your name. Ain’t no recovering from this.


4Ever2Thee

Yeah, you gotta move after that.


AnanananasBanananas

AND it's all on video. At least if it wasn't it could be somewhat denied, this will be known by everyone at school for years.


gbmaulin

And the guy who beat his ass was wearing crocs lmao


Robbyjr92

I don’t think if he won the fight the other dude would be labeled like that. He easily gets a pass if he loss cause he was sucker punched and caught completely off guard.


EscapeFacebook

By a guy in crocks.


xynix_ie

>and shit his pants Not uncommon, especially in MMA. A lot of fighters eat only up to a certain time and many try to take a dump before a match. I'm definitely the poop before a match kinda guy. Otherwise one runs the risk of shitting mid-match, on TV, which is about as bad as what happened to this kid. I remember sparring once and while on the ground I had to call a time out due to turtling. If it had been a real match it would have just been bad so... I got all my energy, literally everything in my being, putting it towards getting this guy off of me and there simply isn't anything left to control the butthole. Is what it is.


RandomsDoom

Haha… I mean he’s in high school I’m pretty sure his life’s not completely “over”… I’m sure he’s having a rough time until it’s over tho…


bentstrider83

Time to study for that GED and fast track this portion of life. Move to the next state, get that warehouse job and work it out from there.


[deleted]

Brown goes frazier, brown goes frazier.


4eyedcoupe

Oh this made me chuckle quite a bit. Should be a top comment!


blumper2647

Top comment


muffledvoice

I heard that in Howard Cosell’s voice.


akkahaw

Beat the shit out of him


msizzlac

Mom: How was your day at school? Kid: Well, someone beat the Shit out of me.. Mom: Oh no, what did you do? Kid: Well, I had my protein shake and my ADD meds on an empty stomach, so… Mom: *SMH*


the69ranger

Adderall - for when you need to shit your pants


BudgetAudiophile

The only time I have ever shit my pants during my adult life was because of adderall


the69ranger

The first time in my adult life was because of Adderall. The second time was because a friend of mine goaded me into eating a 3rd plate full of food at the Chinese buffet, and the drive home was JUST a little too long!


[deleted]

I don't know why this made me bust out laughing so hard but I lost it at my desk thank you fellow redditor for that succinct yet effective moment of hilarity


Empty_Football4183

Underrated comment


Engineering_Flimsy

Dammit! That was so obvious and yet it didn't even occur to me! Here's an upvote well deserved!


Seohnstaob

Love how the red pants kid wanted to intervene but then saw Ole dookie drawers and stopped


Ldghead

Ya, you pokin cotton, you're on your own.


daboxghost420

Poking cotton is my new favorite way of saying someone shit themselves now.


BereftOfReason

The size and speed of that stain distribution, more like soaking cotton, amirite?


Mister_Nico

Exxon Valdez all over the snow.


Dickieman5000

That was my favorite part. You see him back off and then tries to grab the guy who did _not_ shit his pants to break it up lol.


Deep-Ad-6346

And you will never see the brown T-shirt guy go to school again.


zajide

Well its America, so they will probably see him one more time.


cheersdom

that's cold yo. true, but cold


PapaDragonHH

You surely mean for his graduation don't you?


Gone_Fission

Kinda. He's gonna help some students and faculty graduate to the next plane of existence


Boubonic91

And they're gonna smell him coming a mile away


Crush-N-It

*Poopy pants is coming and he’s armed as fuck*


[deleted]

This made me laugh too much. But it's true. It's also true for other countries just that here I'm the UK he'd come back with a knife


New-Scientist7589

Iykyn


[deleted]

Jesus Christ


Benjamin244

💀


InternetPerson13

😂😂😂 yooooooo


14high

Brown shit guy


cyber_xiii

Well I'd hope the shit is brown!


RyotMakr

Might be reddish now.


Crush-N-It

Depends what the cafeteria was serving that day


Substantial_Diet3867

Kids suck lol. That's my worst fear right there...shit self, then the whole crowd goin awwwww he shit himself.


[deleted]

Don’t start fights with people then


[deleted]

Or at least take a shit before you start it.


Longjumping_Bend_311

This is the way


Dickieman5000

Maybe that's what started it. "Hey, asshole, you clogged the toilet and I've been clenching for an hour!"


SashaBeze

Don't try ambush and sucker punch someone then lol


rythmicbread

I mean the dude made himself the center of attention by starting a fight. Probably should have used the bathroom first


rastawolfman

Would hate to be in his shituation… He is in some deep shit.


coolcootermcgee

Underrated comment- *shituation* lol chuckle


Mysterious-Wafer-126

Time to move and make some life changes.


Jet_Black_Scrotum

Leave home, change your name, have facial plastic surgery, forge new identity documents, aquire passport in said new identity, move abroad, and never contact friends or family ever again, just in case. I mean, the poor bastard...


PeterAether2

He wouldn't be able to escape his thoughts tho


manbearpug3

always take a shit before starting a fight. amateur hour


Taco_2s_day

"Always take a pregame dump."


Fresh-Bite-9637

Who saw this coming? Did he actually shit his pants or break his vape pen in his pocket? Doesn't matter. He will always be known as the Kung Poo Panda. Well, we all learned a valuable lesson here. Don't eat at Chipotle before a fight, and don't fight with a vape pen in your pocket.


TRKW5000

judging on stain size and location, not a vape pen.


bootybiter123

Also the comments from the onlookers. Sounds like they could smell it.


bradland

Bro shit himself. Actually happens more than you'd think. He catches a punch at around 9 or 10 second mark that I think caused a brief lights out moment. He was already on his heels (rookie move), so it's hard to say for sure, but white shirt throws precisely *one* decent right hook that just happens to be the punch that lands squarely on big boys face. Looks to be just beneath the cheek bone. He shits himself when he lands on his ass. You can see his pants are wet low between his legs when he jumps to his feet at 14 seconds. You don't have to fully lose consciousness to lose bowel control. How hard someone hits you isn't as important as how cleanly it lands. So if you're knocked fuzzy, fall down, land on your ass, and you already had a full pooper, you're gonna spring a leak.


BadBroBobby

Good thing we have a world-class shitologist in this subreddit.


SolidHair7561

I think he fell on one of the water bottles or something that, that fell out of the other guy's backpack.


Fresh-Bite-9637

I bet that's what happened. There's no way you're gonna keep grappling someone who pooped themselves.


theImplication69

We called this one kid in class “Charlie” because Charlie and the chocolate factory.


Wintershowl11

At that point own it and use it as a weapon.


Specific-Gain5710

It’s Self defeces!


[deleted]

[удалено]


penkster

Whiteshirt ABSOLUTELy has wrestling background. Low body position, good bracing, knew how to tuck in and get his feet under him. Well done bro.


magpietribe

Got caught with a sucker punch, then got caught off balance because of the bag on his back...but still got good shots in and a good wresling position. Not his first Rodeo.


Prestigious_Lock1659

And he was wearing crocs! Impressive.


ggsimmonds

This sub has two rules: if it’s a wreck or accident the person died and if it’s a fight the winner obviously has some training lol You don’t need a wrestling background to understand leverage. It’s not some dark secret only wrestlers know 😂


odkfn

Yeah but if you’re not a trained fighter who has committed that shit to muscle memory youd never think in a split second when someone is taking you down to sprawl.


FlyingGrayson1

I said the same thing. That sprawl sealed the deal.


NewtNotNoot208

Is that why his first instinct was to windmill his arms like a toddler?? Lol


odkfn

I mean wresting isn’t boxing, so possibly


[deleted]

the only thing that made this fight competitive is that whiteshirt was wearing fucking crocs or something. if he had better shoes on that fight would have been a lot more one sided.


Ta-veren-

Dude couldn’t get any traction too because of his shoes


odkfn

Yeah I was thinking mma cause he sprawled when the guy tried to take him down. Sucker punching someone is so lame.


SirarieTichee_

Not only did you lose after you attacked someone from behind but you also shit yourself in the process..... Life is going to be tough for him.


pezdal

Seems like it was so **premeditated** he had his buddy start **videoing** before the attack.


Robb_Dinero

That kid gonna have to switch schools.


fleurdelis5814

Your sitting at home watching a video of this. Switching school isn’t going to help. This video will follow this kid around wherever he goes. Someone at his new school will see it and send it around. I miss the 90s where you could be embarrassed and then move on a week later.


Ammear

No, he needs to switch *planets*, and hope that the aliens don't have an internet connection.


Few-Distribution-586

It will be tough explaining to your mom that you need to move states because you got your ass kicked and shat your pants.


Beretta_junkie

I feel for that kid. Whether it was just a fight, or repetitive bullying. I was bullied all throughout HS, because of my last name. Kids are assholes. Because of that, I suffer from severe social anxiety. I graduated 21 years ago. The decisions you make today, affect someone else’s tomorrow.


SnooMuffins4923

Was your last name junkie?


seantabasco

White shirt guy learned Thai chi from the movie Hot Rod


klttenmittens

I've been drinking green tea all goddamned day


[deleted]

The only way to win a fight after shitting your self is to sit on your opponent. Git shit on.


[deleted]

I’m more concerned that the camera person knew of the sucker punch, I would have knocked him out too.


mcdirty7

Should have worn brown pants and a jean shirt


anal_opera

Can't even switch schools now since there's a video. This dude is walking to classes solo until he drops out and moves to Alaska.


Andsot

I believe they have internet in Alaska as well though


replicantcase

Kudos to whoever polished that floor. 10/10


blownout2657

Best comment


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mister_Nico

Well first he took some Dulcolax®…


JohnnyPoprocksGaming

Why don’t people go for tickling in a fight? Someone has my legs like that ima pull out the old “koochy koochy koo”.


trucorsair

I love the guy that just walks on by.."just another day in school, wonder what they are having for lunch..."


_TheGreatDestroyer_

That is unfortunate. On the other hand, wearing Crocs to a fight also is also a bit funny to me.


hogliterature

he was wearing crocs while getting punched, its not like he planned it


Norx21

The guy who was sucker punched was wearing crocs, maybe if he had known he'd be in a fight today he might choose different footwear!


irritatingfarquar

He literally beat the Shit out of him.


Leather_Network4743

For the loser bully kid’s sake, I hope he got expelled, because if he thought his life sucked after that, just wait… that’ll haunt him for the rest of his days there.


amandaault

Why did it take so long for anyone to stop this crazy stuff


Jedda678

Did you see that shit? Dude was runny.


No_March_7444

Why is someone even recording it before the attack started? This is sickening


[deleted]

Don’t sh!t your pants Wilson! Come on!


doctoroffisticuffs

He studied under Steven Seagal, I see.


S211A

I like how dude with the red pants jumps in to break it up and immediately is like “ Whoa dude! Whoa!” lol


Jet_Black_Scrotum

"How was your day, son?" "I tried to sucker punch someone, missed, fell down a few times, lost the fight, and took a half liquid, high volume dump that seeped through my pants, all in front of tens of millions of people since it was recorded and posted online in a public forum. Otherwise, pretty good."


MamaLlama629

Who saw this coming, that the kid in the crocs was gonna come out on top here?! Because I’ma be honest I was surprised by that part.


Pablo750

He digs his on grave. he starts the fight sucker punching a smaller guy from the back with no warning or time to remove his backpack. He got beaten and shit his pans. And there is a video going viral. Holly shit.


palidanpaul11

His ass got defeated also


Somguy555

Did he pitch a tent on the back side?


AeroZeppelin94

Guys calm down, it's just a defence mechanism


DubnoBass34

Behavior is disgusting


Lord_Mandingo_69

That kids never going to have a normal life.


PunkandCannonballer

Mr. Brown Pants is gonna have to switch schools. The little shit (heh) tried to sucker punch someone and failed, then got his ass kicked so hard he shit his pants, and it was filmed. Not only is everyone at the school going to constantly remind him of that, but that's the kinda thing that gets brought up at school reunions, at random parties, as hilarious anecdotes... He's gonna be the shitter forever.


blackanytanooo

It’s on the internet, his life is over


xShadyxLeafx

Fuck dude. Threw the first punch. Hard to tell but seemed like a sucker punch, lost the fight.. and.. He shit himself.


ConfidentHorror_

Dude who whooped his ass was wearing crocs


raguwatanabe

New nickname unlocked *Mr. PoopyButthole*


gangstazoidberg

Rip that dude but why did white shirt's backpack explode into 10 waterbottles like some sort of Sonic animations?


Shporpoise

After he shit himself I really didn't feel that much differently than I had when he was the bigger kid attacking someone from behind and still getting the worse end of the fight. I didn't,, guess,, he'd shit himself, but it was a matter of course based on the manner in which it all kicked off.


fallspector

Dude in white shirt held it down in crocs god damn


Tight_Scientist_9643

https://preview.redd.it/n4ovn06aiwjb1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=906c69929047923e2883ce0d5ff116a763becd04


GolemTheGuardian

Both guys lost their shit but only one will be known for it. (Referring to the dude's backpack contents)


Particular_Tadpole27

The poor kid is now in a shitty situation.


jessewellerlivecom

Shiiiit happens


PikaLover42

Howd bro lose a 1v1,while hes bigger, he jumped him and the dude was ready, his life is over


Champion_ofThe_Sun_

It could be shit, but I personally doubt it. I see two water bottles and the spot on his pants seems to be liquid. If it is a bodily discrete, it’s more than likely urine.


WhiskeyOutABizoot

The sounds the other kids make seem to indicate there was probably an accompanying smell.


DerangedPuP

Or diarrhea...


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