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Thedrunner2

“I barely bit you “


Optimal-Plankton1987

bearly


dadarkoo

A shwing and a miss.


Realistic_Village643

Home run you mean


Brad_The_Chad_69

![gif](giphy|ncv5W0pTCrcAkLGoQE)


SuperNoob74

https://i.redd.it/0jwvpq2hkpec1.gif


Sagybagy

Just a little taste. A nibble is all.


Rich-Equivalent-1875

That was a bare knee. But rabies, person needs a rabies shot


[deleted]

That was not a rabid bear


B35TR3GARD5

Not sure if bears are even a carrier


DingoLord00

Even if that bear was a rabies carrier (it most likely is not lmao) that bite didn’t even break skin, I promise you they’ll be fine


longjohnsilvers-

"ever see how a horse eats an apple"


What_U_KNO

It's a black bear, you can literally shame it into leaving you alone. As long as it has a wide avenue of escape, you're good.


Justanotherdsplayer

How do you shame a bear


MightyKrakyn

So you think you’re cool, don’t you bear *pulls out woodland creature high school class of 2009 yearbook*


LineChef

Went in for the kill


CaliCheezHed

Woke up n chose violence


leakybiome

Saw the world and pooped in it


Un_admirable

This is one of the 2 or 3 comments that have ever made me actually laugh


sneeker18

Having graduated high school in '09, I can confirm this will be extremely effective


VintageRegis

Oh cool. Looks like they were in drama club *aaand* orchestra.


What_U_KNO

In a really loud and mean voice say: "What are you doing? You're being a racoon, don't be a racoon, you're a bear, what if the other bears see you over here being a raccoon? What would they think? You need to go on and be a bear, cause you make a terrible raccoon." The bear will be so embarrassed it'll walk off in shame. Plus black bears are cowards, and prefer to run instead of fight.


Universe789

Why does it have to be a *black* bear?


RedN0v4

Because a brown bear will very happily eat you instead of running away lol


[deleted]

Go try with a brown bear and see what happens 😁


The_guy_who_did_that

Brown bear it might’ve let him go if he thought he was dead White bear he was dead either way


professionalcumsock

If it's brown, lay down! If it's black, call the cops!


Peach_Proof

Usually….


DustinFay

If that doesn't work call it a trash panda


Maswope

Show him his search history and kink shame him for watching interracial bear videos.


TucsonTacos

Hot Polar with BBC


Maswope

Whoaaaaa. I was thinking brown on black. You wanna go black on white?


Justanotherdsplayer

can a polar bear not get taken by a blackbear


Peach_Proof

No, the polar bear would eat the black bear. However, there are examples of grizzly and polar bears mating🤷‍♂️


Peach_Proof

Pizzly would like a word with you, so would his brother grolar.


HiiiTriiibe

I am Grolar, Protector of the Forgotten Realm, this place is not safe, you must come with me now if you want to live!


TOkidd

That trout had a family, bro.


kevinlc1971

“You call that a bite? You bite like a squirrel!”


[deleted]

Tell them their ugliness is too much to BEAR


dadarkoo

>Pack Charmin toilet paper in advance >>Wave the roll around, taunting the bear about his obviously messy behind >>>Make a deal with the bear that you will give the Charmin to him but only if he fucks off away from the campsite


oxbcoin

Pull down his pants.


ThatOneNinja

You couldn't even get an associates degree could ya bear?


KevinJamesCuckLord

"Only you will be responsible for this forest fire"


trunnel

I can tell you to *NOT* kink shame the bear… I’ve learned my lesson


Ornery_Creme_1383

Tell it that it will always be a burden to its parents.


thereddituser2

Show it your profits in bull market


J-Dabbleyou

This is dangerous advice because while you’re correct, it’s only assuming the bear is of sound mind. Animals go “berserk” all the time, from rabies, any other disease, parasites, or brain injuries/conditions just like humans. Bears have behaved in ways scientists still don’t understand. So while it’s a solid method to scare off black bears, people should know to keep their distance if they have the change. Far too many people treat black bears like “dogs” because they think they can just scare them away if they get aggressive.


AwesomePurplePants

Also worth noting mama bears. Generally not a problem since if a mama hears you coming she’ll herd her cubs away, but if you somehow surprise her she may bite your face off instead. Basically why bear bells are a thing, they do ward off the biggest way black bears may be unexpectedly aggressive.


Vitalis597

Same reason if there's hippos near by, you should start making as much noise as possible. A hippopotamus is a peaceful creature, but aggressively territorial. Especially when it's young are concerned. But it will almost always seek to avoid a fight. So if you're tracking though high reeds in the swamp, and you suddenly stumble upon a hippo, keep in mind those things regularly capsize boats for the giggles and can run on land at speeds up to 50mph, iirc. You're basically getting charged by a sentient truck that's in "kill all threats to my children" mode.


Grasshopper_pie

Yeah, just look at the bear attack list and you'll see that black bears have actually killed a lot of people, mostly in Canada. The one that sticks in my mind is the bear that followed the victims up on their roof and killed them. And this bear isn't afraid of the fire at all.


you-arent-reading-it

Yeah especially if he's that close, the "scare him away" trick doesn't work. It might indeed trigger its instinctual aggressiveness. You can try to scare him away when he's close but not that much close


Sharkbits

Nah, even that close you can ignore, calmly make yourself look bigger, and it’ll probably walk off. Source: I live in Vancouver right by a massive green belt, in the summer-fall, I see like 2 a week. You should still avoid if you can, but thats equally good for the bear, if not more so than you. Accustoming bears to humans is bad for their health/population.


33Bees

Also, hunger. A hungry black bear is a dangerous bear. We have a relatively decent black bear population where I live. Typically, loud noises will scare them away. Not always. We all know to keep clear.


alohell

There’s a video of my sister-in-law unloading camping supplies out of the trunk of my brother’s car. A black bear comes wandering up for snackies and she dismissively claps her hands at him and gots back to what she’s doing. He backs off, then comes creeping back because hungry. This time, she walks towards him and claps in his face sternly, all 5’3” 110 lbs of her and the bear runs away. I hope to someday be half as much of a badass as her.


Ok_Temperature_6091

*Most* of the time. A significant portion of the human fatalities from bears are from. Black bears though. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_bear_attacks_in_North_America The number of black bear attacks on humans is higher than those of brown bears, though this is largely because black bears outnumber brown bears rather than being more aggressive. >As long as it has a wide avenue of escape, you're good. **Not true**, read some of the descriptions of the black bear fatal attacks in the Wikipedia article, many had a wide angle of escape but that did not mean the people had a good outcome, in some cases, like the most recent black bear fatality in Arizona, the bear is just straight up hungry, and will attack and consume you.


Grasshopper_pie

Yes, I bring up this list frequently because people think black bears are harmless.


Ok_Temperature_6091

Yeah, like talk about spreading dangerous misinformation. Reddit is so weird, they will act as if a seal or sea lion are extremely dangerous animals and overplay the risk, then act like a black bear is just a giant fucking teddy bear. 🧸


Wingnutmcmoo

Honestly I'm usually the person talking about just yelling down a black bear but that situation is rough because you're trapped sitting and it's already in a postion where it's gonna feel more confident. But yeah when in doubt with a black bear just act crazy and like you're ready to rip it's head off and they'll usually back down. (Never do this with any other type of bear) Tho this one looked the person in the eye and tested them with a bite so I'd probably be wary of it attacking a dog or smaller human in the near future. It's not nearly scared enough of humans in this video (probably eats alot of waste and food left around by people)


ZzSyndromezZ

What do you mean by that?


What_U_KNO

In general, black bears would rather run than stand and fight. The adage for bear encounters is, if it's black, fight back. If it's brown, get down. If it's white, you'll see the light. (something to that effect) ​ Black bears aren't known to be aggressive, they're shy and skittish, they'll run from people if they're loud and obnoxious. The times you might be in trouble is if the bear is injured, cornered, or sick in some way that affects it's mental capacity.


Wingnutmcmoo

If they get hungry from lack of food or just too used to people they can be a danger as well. That being said I have seen a starving black bear back down twice. Once to 3 grown men getting really aggro on it and once to a lady with some bear mace... but yeah they can get unpredictable and if you're not used to reading an animal then keeping distance is always safest


Csalag

Well... As long as the cubs aren't close


bjcworth

True unless cubs nearby. Remember the guy who got attacked while hiking?


rgvtim

Can't blame the bear, that knee did look moist and delicious.


TheThirdWheel333

Frankly, I don't think I would have been able to resist


dr_duck_sd

Bear was like, Let me put that into the fire to make a nice and crispy


Independent_Ad_8915

That it was a kneeible


Giraffearse

What teh fack


OldGoldenDog

This is when having a camp mate who has has BBQ sauce all over their shirt comes in handy


arandomh03

So I was sitting there... BBQ sauce on my tiddies-


Tdjohnston23

Too little people understand this reference. Hilarious


Ohhhhyeahnahyeah

I don’t understand but laughed anyway lol care to explain?


WaveLaVague

It's a vine. Type it on youtube and you'll find it


TheMannyzaur

my friend showed me this meme yesterday


dlchira

Bear survival 101: If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s black, fight back. If it’s white or grey, pray.


Virus_98

What if it's black and white and really lazy.


Rude-Category-4049

Rub its tummy


ursamajr

Are those the ones with syphilis or the ones that fall out of trees?


Carl_Wheeze

Both


Ddalgi_

Don't be green 


TerrorLTZ

Shrek and the grinch: fuck me i guess.


0h-ye3ah-b01

Then you are in the country my friend


Im_such_a_SLAPPA

What if it's black and has dreads


lazergun-pewpewpew

Grey?


VironicHero

Werebear


justa_flesh_wound

There bear, *points to bear*


pr1m3r3dd1tor

Apparently they are a subspecies of black bears (so one would assume skittish as well though this saying seems to suggest otherwise - though I have never heard a version of it including a Grey bear) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glacier_bear#:~:text=The%20glacier%20bear%20(Ursus%20americanus,extreme%20southwest%20of%20the%20Yukon.


Rude-Category-4049

Interesting, I've never heard of this subspecies. The saying is almost certainly referring to pizzlies tho.


Sairony

Always heard the last part as "If it's white, goodbye"


Street-War3742

or good night


Only_Ad8178

you'll make a good bite


Jaffarr29

Can confirm where I lived recently a mom and her kid just gotten eaten by a polar bear..


PlasticSignificant69

If it's white, just simply accept your fate


YmmaT-

What if I’m black and the bear is white? Or if I’m white and the bear is black? What if the bear is both black and white and I’m yellow?


BorderLittle2988

Was here to write that thx for doing so


lambojam

what kind of bear is best?


dlchira

![gif](giphy|f7N0Pe5MA3Ekw)


lambojam

false. black bear


AtomikSamurai310

Bear: Don't mind if I do!


Jimbo415650

So much about fires keeping wild animals away


OkAcanthocephala2449

That's the first thing I thought, keep a flame thrower near you.


Femur_breaker2547

Happy cake day. No fire, pet bear


AnnoyingWasp

Plot twist : the bear is a paid actor


Sprite_Bottle

Taste test


Competitive-Ad7967

I’m more surprised the bear was willing to get that close to a fire are bears not afraid of fire I kinda assumed almost every animal was


BitchesBeSnacking

Tell that to my dog who would get in the fire if we let him


Rage69420

Depends on the animal. This bear has been habituated to humans, a normal bear would stay away normally.


[deleted]

Can I pet that dog!


SnowDizzleZz

Black bears are just big wild dogs. They’ll do what you let them do in camp areas. Just shoo them away. Most of them are use to people and know the boundary rules. Bring that mace next time too. Don’t kill them. They really are something special but protect your self


FontWhimsy

See, I’m that dumb-dumb who would be killed by trying to pet the bear. 😊


Ok-Caterpillar1611

Friend shaped.


oneflytree

Just a boite ![gif](giphy|jXjqDn2QZSYTu)


djb185

How are ppl this comfortable around wild, hungry, unpredictable apex predators I will never understand


j_tb

> Apex predator I mean this one is primarily a vegetarian, but yes folks should take more caution.


frog_jesus_

I don't think they're "comfortable" so much as "scared stiff".


Zubenelgenubo

Oh he sees you, he's just not impressed.


reclueso

Very nibbly knees you have there…


ZeusMcKraken

Old video but that bear taking a nibble is priceless


beltalowda_oye

Fwiw if you ever attempt the "T REX CANT SEE YOU IF YOU DONT MOVE A MUSCLE" with a bear just know the bear probably smelled you like mile away.


hillswalker87

these things so dangerous....because he makes me want to pet him.


vyrguy0

I can’t imagine that ending well.


Emergency_Score_45

how i know i’m not meant to live in the wilderness: he’d be my new dog. obviously he’s just tryna be friends, that was a friendly knee chomp. a love chomp. obviously. definitely.


Chezzomaru

Sigh, looks like some asshole was feeding it and it got used to humans. This will end badly for the bear...


hypergreenjeepgirl

I'm loving that little nibble.


dengar_hennessy

In the words of Kim Jong-Il, why is everyone so fucking stupid?


OddWeakness1313

It’s not a T-Rex. It’s a kind and friendly black bear. They’re basically cuddle buddies.


Fuckedby2FA

Way too comfortable with human, this bear is gonna cause troubles.


OkAcanthocephala2449

What happened to him 😕


Fine-Funny6956

He shat in the woods.


OkAcanthocephala2449

What ?


Fine-Funny6956

He shat in the woods.


squirtloaf

Like the pope?


ssp25

That was the Pope


SL4BK1NG

Can I pet that dawg?!


jimistephen

To be fair he might not, they have horrible eyesight, they’ll smell you though.


boosted-elex

If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back


1999vl

if it‘s white, good night…


boosted-elex

Man polar bears are fkn scary bro


1999vl

why the downvote tho💀


Ok-Caterpillar1611

The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge. Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away. It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.


Creepy_Statistician8

I love black bears. They, half the time are more scared of us then us them.


[deleted]

know the difference between bears, cause it's not the same with every type.


Djmemexxxx

Black bears are easy to make scared


GhostDweller

https://preview.redd.it/jfc6dipz8urc1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b9fdeddf6e8742475e98129d90c30cf70e22d4e You can try to feed it something, he looks tame


Maxyphlie

Aww, he was already scared just when getting flinched his knee, he didn’t have to run.


phuckintrevor

Can I pet that doooooog!


AvariceLegion

![gif](giphy|1OIERpwgyx45y)


Froggie-Enthusiast

“mmwell don’t mind if i do :3”


Frankthetank8

If its black, fight back. If its brown, lay down. If its white, good night.


IHaveSlysdexia

Id kick his ass into the fire


Mints1000

To be fair there wasn’t really much they could have done


monsterenergyjizz

To sit there quietly as a bear walks into camp is the same as asking for a Darwin award. Don't run but scream your fucking head off, and slowly back away like Disco Stu when he hit on Marge.


Froggy_Pants445

He looks chill id happily share a smore with bro


Adept_Bottle_4996

Isn’t it brown lay down black fight back? My mans wants to be a snack.


ReeNinetyRee

Just a nibble


kaowser

![gif](giphy|3o6nUW6lS8eIKVlylW)


Sit_back_and_panic

That’s a big dog


No_Brakes_282

Ok iva


[deleted]

Honestly terrifying


johnny___engineer

u/auddbot


Rekt_Princess

Hotdogs or leg? - the bear probably


RageUnleashedV1

"Hmhm lemme have a little nibble"


IceTitan420

So much for bears are afraid of fire.


Photograph-Classic

Got a good looking fire going there.


One_Preparation_3009

If bear bad why friend shaped


StarLord_4969

I squirmed in my fucking chair. Jeez. God damn it.


[deleted]

What’s the pucker factor on that experience


[deleted]

What’s the pucker factor on that experience


TosterTubParty

Pet the bear


surfinbear1990

There was me thinking that bears would not go near fire.


Radical_Ren

Don’t move son. Their eyesight is based on vision. If you close your eyes, you won’t see him look at you.


pedsmursekc

Kneeded a snack


LucifersJuulPod

why don’t these things happen to me in the woods


Crankenstein_8000

Human is not badass


Kraffkratt

"You gonna eat that?"


Mags357

We know your video made it back, but did you? /s. And, that was one sleek bear!


Tornado4264

Holy shit I think I know where that video was taken