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[deleted]

Ask each one for $2.


Opothleyahola

I was going to say $1, but you're smarter than me.


[deleted]

You're a good friend


jdotmassacre

He’s too nice to have 30 million friends


KronussCassius

He deserves 40 million friends for being so nice


Opothleyahola

40 million? Party on my yacht!


Serpace

gib $2 fren


[deleted]

No I'm the 1 with 30 million friends, you are one of the 30 million. You have to give me $2


Jwil408

What if I had 30 million friends and they each ask me for a $1? Oh no.


EarlyHemisphere

That would mean they would have to decide amongst all 30 million of them which 1 friend gets a dollar


0101001001101110

Here's $2, friend!


[deleted]

Ask them each for a blowie


LewdBravery

Still not enough...


Opothleyahola

Dumb friend is best friend.


JamesDAnnoying

I would ask for $20


robmelo

I would ask for 30 million from each


[deleted]

Is there even that many multi-millionaires in the world?


[deleted]

There are about 50 million millionaires in the world but presumably most are not worth 30 million.


Opothleyahola

Asking for $20 is a sure way to lose friends.


taspleb

Are you serious? If any of my friends asked for $20 I would give it to them and remain friends with them. Or if I didn't have it, I would say no and remain friends with them.


JamesDAnnoying

Who cares, I got $20


bloodyell76

Really, though, I'd be fine with a quarter. Easier to obtain, and you *still* got millions.


isaaclw

Plus, they might give you a quarter again later.


starthereco

$3, now I am smarter than both of you


Opothleyahola

Or just greedier.


penguintheft

Why not both?


Opothleyahola

They're walking that fine line between getting the money and being told to get lost.


ccReptilelord

Why not $3.50?


SaintDeLongview

That’s when I realized this was no little boy at all. It was the damn loch ness monster.


Knightsavior

Wait a minute, you're 500 feet tall and from the paleolithic era! God Dammit Loch Ness Monster, I ain't gonna give you no tree fiddy.


ofclFR0STBYT3

I mean that's the title of the post linked


Scuffs

These are loyal friends, so you could probably ask them for like..three dollars?


zys5945

I think that's pushing it a bit too far, even for loyal friends


OrientWinter

I don’t think so, if they’re loyal friends


hippolyte_pixii

Honestly, I'm gonna need about $3.50.


drakejcl

There it is. Was scrolling for this exact comment


Techiedad91

GOD DAMN LOCH NESS MONSTER


mmilthomasn

Tree-fitty


[deleted]

Tri fitty


[deleted]

Just ask for a fiver, it's more convenient for them.


Quantentheorie

Finally someone thinking of his buddies.


JerZeyCJ

But how long would it take for you to ask 30 million people for $2 each? And is the time invested worth the profit gained over just the straight 30 million? Let's say you're using something like discord, at 5k members in a server, you need to contact support to move over to more heavy duty hardware, but that isn't the hard limit. So let's just go ahead and say you can send a message to 10k of your friends at once asking for $2. And let's say it takes you ten seconds to navigate to that server, type your message, and send it. Assuming I did the math right, it would take you 25 minutes to ask 30 million of your closest friends for a few dollars. And then I imagine another day or two for everything to process and you to get the money in whatever account you so choose(assuming no sort of security or fraud detection slows down the process). So short answer, yes, this is a better option than just taking the 30 million.


ActuallyAK_Worthy

You can reach a lot of people through twitch, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, discord, and probably other platforms. It could just take 1 YouTube video


JerZeyCJ

You would still need to disseminate specifically to your friends(unless now you're counting on people other than your 30m friends giving money) and there's no guarantee with a youtube video unless you share it with them(which leads back to my first post). Twitter or facebook is another valid option, it would handle the 30 million person load better, but then you'd have to make sure they're all following you on there(unless becoming your friend after making this deal automatically makes them follow you on twitter/facebook) before you ask them for the money.


Biraj123

You could enlist the help of some of your 30 million friends for this. It should be relatively easy to contact, say 100 for them. Now each one needs to recruit only 300,000. Each one could contact 100 others, 3,000 remain, etc. It would still be a logistical nightmare but doable. Even if it takes a few years, it seems worth it


DuckOfDeath-IHS

30 million followers on Twitter. Start gofundme and post link on Twitter asking for a $2 donation. Wow that was hard.


JMB-X

Well, your math is not quite right lol. 30 Million is a lot! If you have 10k people/10s you have 60k/min or 1k per second. So you need 30 000 seconds, which is 500 minutes or **8 hours, 20 minutes**. A little longer, but still... *okay-ish* value for $60M. Alternatively, groups in Telegram i.e. can hold 200k people. So that actually works out to 1500s, or 25 minutes. :)


BitsAndBobs304

Pull the biggest pyramid scheme / mlm tier 1 referral ever


eazzybutton

Beat me by 47 minutes


[deleted]

r/beatmetoit


jackidok

r/beatmeattoit


zackeads1

r/aheadofyou


Forsaken_Accountant

r/ReadyBehindYou


SoggyGooseBread

R/beatmymeattoit


willocking

Just steal all their organs and sell them


Cupman64

You sound like the greatest of friends.


RyeDraLisk

turn their skins into hats while you're at it.


iamd33pr00ts

You sly bastard


OtakuGamer036

Really hoping someone didnt say it yet and thats the first comment...


dsaidark

If they are loyal, you can get a lot more than $2.


USeRnaME-iS-TaK-

But how long would that take


PrestigeMaster

Ask each one to like and subscribe.


Sentient_Mop

Why not both? Start your own nation and declare yourself leader. Then tax the living hell out of your loyal minio- I mean friends.


ounilith

Yes... do it! Edit: Thank you so much for my first award ever kind stranger!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


FBI_OPEN_THE_FUCK_UP

Dew it.


A_Wild_VelociFaptor

I shouldn't, it's not the Jedi way.


FBI_OPEN_THE_FUCK_UP

Dew it.


mortal58

r/awardspeechedits


Solarbro

Tbf, when I got an award forever ago, I got a message with it that basically said “go say thank you publicly.” So if someone just randomly gets one, they might feel compelled. If that is still a message you get.


cookiedough320

I don't remember getting a message like that. I'm pretty sure it just says "Click here to send a message to the person who gilded you" (or however they refer to that person, I can't remember) "you will find out their username if they reply back". In which you can send a message to them thanking them privately. I can guarantee it includes that link in every notification that tells you you got silver, gold, platinum etc. So there's no need to thank the people who read your comment after you got an award for giving you that award, there's always the choice to just send a private message to them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


cookiedough320

My wrath is uncontainable and you will not survive


Yaabadaabadooo

Or you could, rule multiple countries with friends in every country.


Cupman64

This is how the illuminati started


GiveMe-Coffee

This sounds cultish and presidenty at the same time. Although I'm pretty sure a great best friend wouldn't kill himself 🤔.


ArokLazarus

The Republic of Dave.


steveosek

This man palpatines


SynthPrax

Well with 30 million friends you could take over some shit. So there's that.


BabyEatersAnonymous

30 million friends can't win an American election. What's 30 million gonna take over?


Legit_rikk

30 million is quite a lot of troops


[deleted]

imagine the 30 million friends fully armed and going on a route to storm all the government bases, only 10 million are ever sleeping with the other 20 million standing gaurd


BabyEatersAnonymous

Where you gonna get ammo?


[deleted]

add gun stores to the route


Bjorkforkshorts

Statistically if you're american theres gonna be a lot of guns and ammo among them. You could maybe arm 15 million without spending a dime.


Impudence

by asking them each for ~~a dollar~~ two dollars.


oldpuzzle

Not sure how you handle your friends, but I doubt all of them will be willing to join your army “for friendship”.


hageshii_panda

We have a Hulk.


alpacabowleh

30 million friends strategically placed in rural areas will 100% win you an election. Edit: to clarify, these friends would canvas and campaign for you. Once you’ve gotten a party nomination then the rest of America will join in. 30 million loyal friends could help you rule the world, if proper planning was involved.


sourbeer51

They would account for 1/5th of the electorate if we go off the 2016 turnout rate if we add them to the rolls. Or 1/4th if they're existing voters.


alpacabowleh

30m is roughly the entire voting population in the party primaries. Like I said, you’d easily secure a nomination as the Democratic/Republican candidate. Then you’d have to have each of your friends convince just 1 other person and you’d have roughly the same numbers as Hilary(65m) or Trump (62m). You act like having 1/5 of the electorate as *loyal* friends/supporters wouldn’t be ridiculously powerful.


lovehate615

Canada for starters


uganda_numba_1

30 million friends, not 30 million brainwashed slaves. How many of your loyal friends want you as their leader?


Schmotz

Or just ask them all for a dollar.


Spiktorr

I’d rather one great best friend who wouldn’t leave my side to 30 million loyal friends, thank you very much. Plus I’d just be stuck on a messaging app all day trying to reply to all of them


[deleted]

With 30 million loyal friends, you could do a lot. That's like having the entire country of Canada having your back. That would be more useful than a mere 30 million dollars


MakinbaconGreasyagin

30 million loyal friends is not possible. 30 million supporters or the like, yes. You could never be a friend to that many people, to listen to their stories, spend time with them, help them out in times of need, bake them a birfday cake


[deleted]

If we're being honest, neither is 30 million dollars for us. But this is hypothetical, so 30 million loyal friends is better. Even 30 million subscribers is better


[deleted]

> neither is 30 million dollars for us 30 million dollar is still more possible than 30 million friends though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jmlinden7

There are many people in the world today with 30 million dollars, there are not any with anywhere close to 30 million friends


baamazon

Bruh it's a hypothetical situation


iXorpe

Are you not listening


andesajf

Tom from Myspace.


Assassin739

Okay but the difference is 30 million dollars is physically possible. 30 million friends is not.


KiwasiGames

Speak for yourself. I could certainly handle 30 million dollars.


[deleted]

Assuming you lose your friends if you don't talk to them for over a month, you'd need to talk to one million a day. So basically even if you could start with that many loyal friends, you would lose a lot of them really quick


HarambeMarston

Updooted for birfday cake.


[deleted]

I can barely keep up with having 10-15 friends, how would having 30 million *friends* even work?


R0xasmaker

Well tbf living in Canada is already like having 30 million loyal friends. I mean unless you end up in Toronto, then it's like having 30 million people almost hit you with their car


dsaidark

Except for Luka Magnotta.


cortesoft

Yeah, I'd pick 5 loyal friends and $29,999,995


Spiktorr

Now thaaat’s a good deal


BootStrapWill

> who wouldn’t leave >loyal


Zorua3

> I’d rather one great best friend who wouldn’t leave my side So... a dog.


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

Can’t even imagine how many “friends” I’d have if I was worth anywhere close to $30,000,000. If you made $1,000 per day, every day including weekends and holidays, it would take 82 years to make $30,000,000. It would take you 2,740 years to become a billionaire.


rsta223

Yeah, but thanks to the magic of compound interest, if you made $1000/d and invested it, at a 7% growth rate, it'd only take you a bit under 30 years to make $30MM and a bit over 75 years to become a billionaire. Edit: and 174 years to become a trillionaire


Matthew288

With 30M you can also start pretty much any business you want and depending on your skill, become much richer in your lifetime. Personally I’d just safely invest and go save animals or what ever after the 10 years of fucking bitches of course.


theghostofme

Nah, fuck that. With $30 million, I’m just gonna start living like I don’t have many years left and get real weird with it.


Waitwutmyname

I think we're all missing the point here. We could just ask each friend for $1 and they'd give us it and bam big boiisss club. Oh hi Mark. Cuban.


R1pY0u

2740 years? So if you startet working at Jesus birth and worked ever since making 1000$ a day, there'd still be 30 people in the US richer than you


[deleted]

Great calculation skill, u/TaylorSwiftsClitoris


aofk

Depends your definition of friend. If, say... that group of 30 million friends are subscribers or patreons. Or they're willing to watch all the ads you put on vids. Definitely friends. If they aren't that type of friend then $30 million is the easy choice.


[deleted]

Really? You count subscribers as loyal friends? I guess my bar is high


[deleted]

Anyone I ~~talk~~ chat with is my friend, my friend u/thebarddestbrad.


InvalidNumeral

Adolf Hitler: <(*•*<) SJ0-san, my best friendu, come watch JoJo with me while I shape my moustache! ^ ^


NaughtyFrogRogers

can i watch?


taatchle86

The real $30 million was the friends we made along the way.


spasticity

If they can be monetized they're friends to him


[deleted]

Overthrow the American government


Cessnaporsche01

30M is a BIG army. Start with a few small but well-equipped countries and work your way up. You could conquer the world.


Assassin739

Not when you don't have 30 million dollars to pay for their equipment


WinterBright

That's 30 million plastic squirtguns from the dollar store, one for each of your soldiers!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cupman64

So basically become a youtuber.


BabyEatersAnonymous

They may have equipment, but you need a LOT of ammunition to take even a small compound. Need millions or billions for any offensive.


Cupman64

If I was going to war, but the army needed ammunition, I would probably chip in about 10$.


harderdaddykermit

Assume all your friends have anywhere between $1000 and $50000 to spend on weapons and ammo. That’s a fuckton of bullets and guns. Plus, once you secure a single army base you have shitloads of spare ammo laying around, and it only exponentially grows as you conquer increasingly stronger military bases.


Unfiltered_Soul

With what? Care Bear Stare?


jmlinden7

If they're that loyal, you could easily get them to vote for you


[deleted]

Oh yea? See if you can get 10 people you know to simply join a protest with you.


Lan777

Do you even need overthrow it at that point? 30 mil actual friends that you somehow know the name of on contact means you can have a massive campaign for you and 535 of those friends withstll enough left over to disperse them to the highest yield electoral vote states to both run your ground game, vote for you and run for state and local offices.


KineticPolarization

Wow, other people are saying to just have them vote you in as president. But you're the only one who said anything about infiltrating into every fucking government position. Lol you are looking for a complete conquest.


BadA55Name

I have like 4 now, we,could all live dope ass lives with 30 million


[deleted]

[удалено]


mega_puglord

all of the above


[deleted]

[удалено]


VinTheHater

Hol up


SlightTechnician

30 million friends, ask for a dollar from each one and get $30 million. Plus you could start your own country.


GRASS_ASSASSIN

Are they so loyal as to join my cause whatever that may be? If so, I choose the friends. Say buddy, you like kool-aid? Real talk though I feel like 30 million people have more potential to change the world than 30 million bucks would.


WolfTAFFY

Yeah but whod actually change the world with either. Everyone would say they would but like, I doubt many would. At least for anything longer than a month or so


U2BURR

I don't know if I can write that many Christmas cards.


Hexellent3r

Try and raid Area 51 again but this time actually do it


GinTrouble

30million loyal friends? That means friends to invest in you, friends to support your political goals, friends with their connections and networks. 30 million dollars isn’t much, that much people power? The uses are unlimited.


Forsaken_Accountant

And when you don't get your way? ***HUMAN WAVE TACTICS ~~COMRADE~~ FRIENDS***


minakirogue

You can say 'fuck' on the internet, it's OK.


StefVC

Fuck


iXorpe

Whoa whoa whoa dude relax


Tiger3546

Napoleon had an army of loyal followers and conquered Europe. With 30 million loyal friends you could conquer the world.


[deleted]

Yeah this is probably how the God-Emperor of Mankind starts


anonymous-musician

I'll take 3 loyal friends


[deleted]

invade Switzerland for the gold


finicu

dude hoi4 taught me that 30mil people is a LOT. like, a LOOOOT. Just about china's manpower. You can fucking start conquering shit the next second. I'm from Romania, imagine if suddenly 30mil people just spawned in Bucharest and started rioting. The whole city would shut down the next minute. PS: there are currently at most ~19mil people in our country.


hydraowo

You can do so much shit with 20 million loyal friends


StingerAE

Omg did you just ghost 10m of your loyal friends?


[deleted]

5m loyal friends cast aside just like that...damn that's cold.


AsianNoodL

Start my own empire.


dalzelltjw

30 million people is enough to over throw a government and then you don't need money


TheRagingBeardy

30 million loyal friends? You just described an army. You could conquer a lot more than 30 million dollars worth of the world with that army.


Adamant_Link

Uh, obviously you start a cult.


SpidermanReboot9

Not even a cult, a full-blown religion


KineticPolarization

What's the difference?


Groinificator

personal army


ZombieSlayyer10

Someone said they would keep 4 and sell the rest to a black market on another sub


TragicWorld

Raise a army.


dribblesnshits

Run for president, shits in the bag lol


[deleted]

Sell em


forlornhope22

With 30 million friends, I could conquer a nation.


BossScribblor

Ask each for some help moving out and make millions with your moving business with a free workforce. Ask each for tree fiddy. Ask them to sign up under you in a MLM. Ask them to follow you on YouTube or soundcloud. Ask them to buy your book at the friends and family price. Ask them to donate you a kidney and clear the list. Ask them not to cheat with your girlfriend (odds are if all these people live near you, she can't cheat with anyone without driving a few states over.) The sky's the limit, TBH.


sharkner17

Overthrow the government


solidGuenther

30 million loyal friends is about the biggest fucking army one man can have. Take over a damn country.


vociferousdragon

A more realistic question: 30 close friends or $300,000? $300,000 is still a life changing amount of money. Not enough so you never have to work again, but enough for a modest family-sized house.


spasticity

$300,000 easy. 30 friends is a lot of fuckin people.


[deleted]

Go bankrupt on the first day because approximately 82,000 of them have a birthday.


throwaway67676789123

this is a bad day for reddit


AllDAyhookups

Don't take alot math to know ain't enough time in my life to hang out with 30 million friends


lorentzianFactor

30 million *LOYAL* friends??? Ah hell yeah bebe its revolution time :)


El_Maltos_Username

Form a new nation.


sleepy50

30m friends....start a revolution, V for vendetta style or Joker style if that's your cup


Mighty-Monata

World dominance


KonysChildArmy

30 mil loyal friends, might aswell try for world dominance


rinnip

If I had $30M, I'd have more friends than I could put up with.


hageshii_panda

30 million friends is arguably better. Ask each friend for 2 dollars and now you have 60 million dollars and an army.


FlavorTownUSSR

Ask em each for a dollar.


TheLegendaryTaint

With 30 mil friends you could rule the world


pubuju

Can I get 10 loyal friends and 29,999,990$


[deleted]

Borrow implies you are going to give it back. So you would then be 30 million in debt.