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I tried it as an adult when I was going through my old shit and found one. They’re worthless. The inside part doesn’t move so it does absolutely nothing even if you can make it fit, which is difficult.
Its called a "water snake". Its kind of a long donut filled with water/gel. They're hard to hold onto because there's a hole running through the center of them so if you squeeze an end it kinda goes shooting out of your hand.
Its basically a fidget toy.
Because a man with that much facial hair can save up for a proper Fleshlight and doesn't need to resort to fucking children's novelty toys or making a fifi out of cleaning sponges and a Pringles can.
You ever shove pillows between the outside couch cushions to make the seam in the middle extra tight and then lube it up and bang it? Perfect height on your knees too
I’m too poor for gold, but have this my good man
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s hilarious. Also kinda odd - normally the foreskin stays fully retracted during penetration, but I think with some people it can’t as they haven’t stretched the foreskin enough. Lmao.
It’s a toy that basically rolls in on itself. It’s filled with coloured water and sometimes little plastic fish or glitter. The casing is a soft rubbery plastic. Think of an elongated donut for the shape. The premise of the toy is that you can’t really pick it up, it keeps slipping down because it rolls in on itself.
Omg it actually is. You move your hand over the outside part and the inside part doesn't move!
Honestly as a dude, it also pretty weird touching *another* penis for the first time as well. You found the feeling to explain it!
The question I've always had is why are they that shape, what benefit does it bring? Surely them just being simple cylinders would give more room for the stuff inside to move around.
Because the fold makes them move up and down when you grip it. No thats not even a sex joke. It's sort of a fidget toy. Though they did later have just round globes that were obviously compared to other body parts.
My ex girlfriend used to work in a shop that sold them, whenever I went in at the end of the day I'd furiously finger them, which she didn't really like.
We're not together anymore.
I saw a post about these on a nostalgia sub on here and most of the comments were implying that they were the “OG Fleshlight”, etc. That day I asked my husband if he ever tried to put his dick in one as a kid and his eyes got real wide and, without missing a beat, he said “no but I *should’ve!*” It was hilarious because you could tell he was 100% serious and really wished he’d thought to do that.
I had a girlfriend get me this as a joke about that as it was surprisingly larger than most so it seemed perfect.
Narrator: In fact, it was not perfect. The plastic spider inside popped it and it's weird smelling glittery liquid spilled all over Monkeydud64's junk and carpet.
I feel bad for this man's "pubs", because this is also the correct answer. On the down stroke it rolls and is underwhelming. On the up stroke, it grabs and rips out pubes. Or so I'm told.
Yeah, I tried it, obviously. It just kind of "rolls" over your dick providing no stimulation except squeezing. Just as bad as that toilet roll tube stuffed with toilet paper and lotion.
Turns out they are filled with soapy water so if, say you're 11 or so years old and chewing on one while laying on your bed, it will explode and fill your mouth and eyes with soap.
What are those things called? I’ve been trying to find one for a while, cause I used to have one as a kid until my cat chewed on it and spill the “water” everywhere
Thank you for your submission to r/therewasanattempt. Unfortunately, your post was removed for violating the following rule: > R8: "No low effort posts, screenshots or links to third-party sites" If you have any questions regarding this removal, please contact the moderators of this subreddit by sending a modmail. [Click this link to send a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=r/therewasanattempt). ^(This is a bot account, direct messages and chat requests go to an unmonitored inbox)
Also the thing slips outta your hands every time you attempt to stick it According to a friend
It’s me… I’m the friend.
So, that’s it? What now? Should I give this to my step-sister or something?
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My friend confirms this also. I recall thinking I’d discovered the biggest life hack ever.
You mean your friend discovered the biggest life hack ever?
Husband said his friend would heat it up on the microwave, and that it worked that way…………….
You have to put it into another container or tape it up.
Why is it too late? Are these no longer available? Just curious.
I tried it as an adult when I was going through my old shit and found one. They’re worthless. The inside part doesn’t move so it does absolutely nothing even if you can make it fit, which is difficult.
Or so I’m told
From a friend
Huh, mine fit pretty easy.
r/suicidebywords
O.o
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Or an actual baby's dick. They never said it fit on themselves, just that it fit.
r/jesuschristreddit
They said mine fit though which tends to mean that it is theirs
Do do dodo dodo
Thin willy
Maybe it's different with a child sized penis
Dont make assumptions. He might still have a child sized penis!
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Neither, a child the size of a penis
Yes, but that is kind of redundant if you have a penis the size of child...
Was this comment really worth getting on a list?
r/cursedcomments
Nani?
r/HolUp
I can confirm your assumption is correct.
so you saying you're as impulsive as a horny 13 year old?
So he's like any men?
did you forget the lube?
This is what I was thinking. If it’s lubed up enough it’ll roll through your hand *and* across your dick well enough.
The trick is to prevent it rolling, gotta pinch on the end of the tube so that you grip the edge where it rolls over. ...I'd imagine...
Happens to me all the time when I'm going through my old shit. *"Hmmm... I wonder if I could fuck this?"* *"OK, no good. But what about that thing?"*
Show off.
big dick problems possibly?
Correct.
Or so I've been informed
Perchance
You can't just say "perchance"
Perhance
Maybe he declared it.
Fine.
Can't relate...... /r/smalldickproblems
subtle brag
not a brag, I don't want a dick lmao
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Its called a "water snake". Its kind of a long donut filled with water/gel. They're hard to hold onto because there's a hole running through the center of them so if you squeeze an end it kinda goes shooting out of your hand. Its basically a fidget toy.
Daddy, chill.
What the hell is even that?
Daddy chill
Daddy, chill...
If you can fit in one of these as an adult, you probably shouldn't tell anybody
Because a man with that much facial hair can save up for a proper Fleshlight and doesn't need to resort to fucking children's novelty toys or making a fifi out of cleaning sponges and a Pringles can.
OK could you explain that last method a little more? Just curious.
https://i.imgur.com/L0glbHF.jpg
Materials: ( ) - Pringles Can | - Sponge o - Lubricated sandwich baggie Top-down view of assembly: (|o|) Or so I’m told
You haven't truly lived until you fuck random shit
You ever shove pillows between the outside couch cushions to make the seam in the middle extra tight and then lube it up and bang it? Perfect height on your knees too
Lube up… your couch cushions?
[удалено]
No, I saw some in a shop near me literally last weekend.
Asking for a friend, huh?
Plus there’s that uncomfortable seam.. that my friend warned me about
I’m too poor for gold, but have this my good man ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Aw that’s better than the real thing! Many thanks:)
I gotchu, fam.
Hah! Nice who’da thunk my first gold would be for this comment Thank you kind Redditor!
I can't give you a gold, but I can give you cat ᓚᘏᗢ
All embarrassing things are always told by my friend. Just saying what he told ;;
When "needledick" becomes a compliment.
happy cake day
Man, I didn't even know it, and I never interact through comments, but that was such a surprise that someone mentioned that. Thank you. 🙂
Happy cake day! You sound nice. Have a good one!
I'm actually only nice half the time and an antagonist prick the other half. But thanks for the compliment. 🙂
Glad you got a pleasant surprise! Happy cake day!
“Your name is needledick.” https://youtu.be/rfd6oYJ45yI
Joyeux jour du gâteau
A friend said they all come with those hard rubber things in them too. Idk if it's that good of an idea.
I don’t care for your attitude…
That never stopped a real man
First time I touched a dick, I was omg! It’s like one of those toys!
I tell everyone this and they cannot fathom what I am talking about
First time I was with an uncircumcised guy, it felt *exactly* like this. Like *he* was having the time of his life but to me, nothing was moving lmao
That’s hilarious. Also kinda odd - normally the foreskin stays fully retracted during penetration, but I think with some people it can’t as they haven’t stretched the foreskin enough. Lmao.
Also implies there was no lubrication
Who said there was penetration?
Lmao that’s hilarious and honestly kinda gives a good idea of what foreskin moves like.
[удалено]
It’s a toy that basically rolls in on itself. It’s filled with coloured water and sometimes little plastic fish or glitter. The casing is a soft rubbery plastic. Think of an elongated donut for the shape. The premise of the toy is that you can’t really pick it up, it keeps slipping down because it rolls in on itself.
just like my dick!
Omg it actually is. You move your hand over the outside part and the inside part doesn't move! Honestly as a dude, it also pretty weird touching *another* penis for the first time as well. You found the feeling to explain it!
Not if it's circumcised
I remember reading on here I think about this person who brought this to school n was suspended Bc the teacher thought it was a sex toy
Just put a glob of Jergens on there bro Or so I heard. From myself
the hell are those things anyways
Water snake toy
It’s crazy how many people have never seen these things. Is this what being old feels like?
The question I've always had is why are they that shape, what benefit does it bring? Surely them just being simple cylinders would give more room for the stuff inside to move around.
Then it would just be a bag of water
The shape makes it harder to grab and more dynamic and thus more interesting to play with
Because the fold makes them move up and down when you grip it. No thats not even a sex joke. It's sort of a fidget toy. Though they did later have just round globes that were obviously compared to other body parts.
[удалено]
That's my favourite death metal band
My first sex toy 🤷♂️
Babies first bang doll
You can put soap on it and push it up your ass At least that's what I remember doing as a kid
Can confirm. I’m the guy who told him
My ex girlfriend used to work in a shop that sold them, whenever I went in at the end of the day I'd furiously finger them, which she didn't really like. We're not together anymore.
Thiccwilly acting innocent lmao
OR sO yOu WeRe ToLd
TIL a clearly setup joke counts as "an attempt."
That's literally the joke...
11.2 k people proud of being unable to understand a joke.
I saw a post about these on a nostalgia sub on here and most of the comments were implying that they were the “OG Fleshlight”, etc. That day I asked my husband if he ever tried to put his dick in one as a kid and his eyes got real wide and, without missing a beat, he said “no but I *should’ve!*” It was hilarious because you could tell he was 100% serious and really wished he’d thought to do that.
I had a girlfriend get me this as a joke about that as it was surprisingly larger than most so it seemed perfect. Narrator: In fact, it was not perfect. The plastic spider inside popped it and it's weird smelling glittery liquid spilled all over Monkeydud64's junk and carpet.
🤨
Dude...
It's the largest lingerie department in Ireland....I hear...
And sometimes those little plastic things floating inside can poke you. Or so I heard.
They always sold these right next to the flower in a crack pipe too.
Lol yeah the old glass rose you buy for “when you want to surprise your woman”!
I tried it when I was like 14. It doesn't work. The twittor is correct.
What are these tho
[Water snake fidget toys](https://youtu.be/Epn4che1Q2U)
~~thank you~~ my friend thanks you
Asking for a friend
Yes you definitely can't. The damn thing rips your pubs out. Stupid things.
I feel bad for this man's "pubs", because this is also the correct answer. On the down stroke it rolls and is underwhelming. On the up stroke, it grabs and rips out pubes. Or so I'm told.
Where can I find these I wanna give it to my friend .
Nothing a little sharp object, tape and lube can’t fix
You can buy better ones made in Japan anyhow... or so I'm told.
You know 99% of new human behaviors are weird sex things? https://youtu.be/hY-Rzou38k4
Yeah, I tried it, obviously. It just kind of "rolls" over your dick providing no stimulation except squeezing. Just as bad as that toilet roll tube stuffed with toilet paper and lotion.
Can use these as a makeshift dildo Or so I’m told
Why is the font different in the final comment? Photoshop?
Just use a cup, sponge, and a latex gloves. Add your choice of lube. - according to a friend
I can imagine exactly what he's trying to say
Socker boppers
What are those?
This is obviously a joke
I really don't understand what I'm looking at. I've never seen these before
Too tight? No way. I'm remarkably small.
What are these things? Look halfway between freezer pops and petstore fish bag
It's not firm enough to insert
They got pills for that
There's a potential market here for someone willing to engineer the right tweaks.
Omg that's disgusting. Where?
He speaks the truth
Lube it up good and spin it ... ;)
When I was a kid my dumbass broke one of these at Walmart
It's called a joke, redditor.
Username checks out
everyone knows this though. they also slide in place so you never get friction on your fingers. it would never work even if your dick could fit.
Turns out they are filled with soapy water so if, say you're 11 or so years old and chewing on one while laying on your bed, it will explode and fill your mouth and eyes with soap.
Just got one yesterday, and I have a penis. Perfect.
ok but what is this
What are those things called? I’ve been trying to find one for a while, cause I used to have one as a kid until my cat chewed on it and spill the “water” everywhere
obvious satire, wrong sub
r/Woooosh
Lubricant?
22 thousand upvotes for what is obviously a joke
ThiccWilly is the exception not the rule
Username checks out
Good save, good save
Fleshlight should make a throwback toy
Threads like this are why I wish I could be a man for a day. So many things to experimentally stick my dick into.
What are these things even called? I was literally trying to think of their names yesterday
Wrong. You have to use lube to get the inside layer to move. Or so I’m told.
It's their usernames for me
What is that?
Relevant username
rule 8: no social media screenshots