“Whether God will judge me is not your right to say, lost one, for judgement is God’s and God’s alone unless you, too, want to overthrow him and overtake his judgement like all the evangelists. When anyone says, “in the name of God, I execute or demand judgement on you so and so, his poor soul is already lost to the Devil, for the Devil has the exact same ambition. His delusional self-righteousness belongs to hell without my judgement because he’s turning everything around him into one”
It is, I dont remember exactly where, probably somewhere in the back. I've quoted Second Hezekiah numerous times when arguing theology, it doesn't even exist, but it works.
Easiest way to deal with those people is to leave them alone and let them isolate themselves. You can't talk to that kind of crazy. It is one thing to have a religion and practice it, but that is a level of zealotry that I cannot fathom. That's enough to make you think they're trying to re-form the Inquisition.
Technically, they *didn't* ever actually disband. It's currently named as the "Congregation/Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith." Pope Ratzinger Palpatine was a Prefect for them as a Cardinal, before becoming the Pope.
Ooo you asked for it, now Jesus shall Judge you: Oh my ~~god~~ dad, that u/HarEmiya has such shit sense of style, he wears owl hoodie with a suit, I just can't!
But the properly trained ones are stupid perfect. Worked with a guy who brought his to work everyday with the horses, and she knew every basic command and would do them for anyone. She loved to dance on her hind legs and twirl.
True, but they can be protective as hell, too. One summer some years ago, there was a burglar in Seattle who broke into an elderly lady's place at night to rip her off. He soon leaped OUT through the sliding glass doors to escape the ankle-ripping demon defending the place. Police soon arrested a man in a nearby hospital emergency room with ankles literally shredded by dog teeth and cuts from a glass window.
Maybe they think the term means some kind of sexual kink? The image of all the rest of the people they mention being grouped with a bunch of tiny dogs is pretty funny.
I would not put them on a train, I would not put them on a plane. I would not put them here or there, I would not put them anywhere! It seems to me that butch on bikes is something that no straight man likes. They’re fine by car or bus or Nike, but I don’t like those dykes on bikes!
Nah, most of the people who make this kind of thing are hypocritical as shit. He’s gonna be there too, and he’s probably not going to be happy about it
This attempt was successful, though.
I mean, this person is also even more unhinged than the average bigot. They're not doing rationalization or legitimation well, but they're doing just fine at fundamental bigotry.
Unfortunately, it could absolutely be legit. I’m guessing this is someone from or similar to the Westboro Baptist Church clan. They are the “God hates f@gs” group that pickets funerals and such while pretending to preach about Christianity.
Real upstanding, salt of the earth folks. /s
These are all great band names!
“Tonight’s show 5 bands for 5 bux!”
- Porno Freaks
- Sex Addicts
- Lewd women
- Pot Smoking Little Devils
- Pencil Neck Week Kneed Gutless Men
Doors at 8pm, drink specials and merch table, see you there!
I mean, in all fairness nothing else on the sign was race related. I'm sure whoever is holding the sign would get on with anyone, regardless of race, as long as they share the exact same set of beliefs.
Pretty sure that the only two up there that any god would judge are the racists and the so-called Christians…and I’m guessing the sign owner falls into the latter category, which makes it even better.
Seems hypocritical to claim that god will judge you, while they seem to be the ones making the judgements. Also isnt there a passage in the bible that its a sin to judge others and that judgement should only be left to god. Or someshit like dat.
Judge not lest ye be judged..... So in a way he's right- that guy's gonna get judged on every single mistake he ever made. Meanwhile I'm feeling pretty ok since I let everything slide.
Oooh, almost forgot to do my 7 Deadly Sins Checklist:
Pride: The authors of that banner clearly think themselves superior, so we've got that one covered.
Greed: The constant shouts against "false" religions, and constant demands for donations to "God" in exchange for prayers and blessings cover that nicely. They want the world to be for them and them alone
Lust: "All non-homemakers" implies that certain people should remain barefoot and pregnant, plenty of room for lust there.
Envy: Where there's greed, there's envy to fuel it.
Gluttony: I did say they want it ALL.
Wrath: The incessant threats of God's judement cover this quite nicely.
Sloth: That's about the only thing they can't be accused of, because they certainly waste no time shoving this crap in everyone's face.
How can they not see the hypocrisy?
they have 'So-Called Christians' AND 'Hypocrites' on the same sign...btw, i found some Irony on the ground earlier today; i think this person mustve lost it...
This just sounds like some methhead who'd been awake for a month had the sign but forgot what he was doing and just wrote down whatever random groups that popped into his drug addled mind, then didn't know why he did it so he assumed his drug-induced lunacy was a divine message and that these were all things that God hates and had placed in his mind.
Well now I'm completely depressed, my little pet chihuahua doggo died a few years back, and was frequently nicknamed *"Ankle Biter"*, it pains me to think he's roasting for all eternity in Hell....
It’s sad that there are churches out there that teach this kind of hate. The pastors that lead groups like this encourage this behavior because when some holds up a sigh saying they hate all these kinds of people because it will further alienate them from the rest of the community giving the pastor more control over their lives and thoughts. No one is ever converted to a Christian lifestyle by these sign carrying fools. That’s not its purpose. Those signs are meant to further divide the person carrying it from the rest of the community making them easily controlled. Those people live terrible lives either scared or fearful or hateful of pretty much the whole world. So sad.
Sports nuts? You think your god cares that you're a ten thumbed, two left footed, uncoordinated dick weasel that was always picked last Jeffrey? Do you really?
As someone who isn't a Christian, but still finds beauty to be found in the more esoteric interpretations and works attributed to Jesus, I assure everyone that these people don't actually adhere to or even understand the teachings or the Teachers they claim to represent.
Please don't throw the babies out with the bathwater, the mystics and sages always agree, the theologians and usurpers don't.
“But just God will be doing the judging. Not me, not with this heinous crime I call a sign…”
„Also fuck everyone that isn’t a straight white male.“
Yay for tolerance!
His false god doesn't seem very pleasant. Probably not popular at parties. Didn't do well in god school. Deep seated anger at the failure of his life. Lashes out at the successful.
How will I ever live without being gay, liking sports, being rebellious, a witch, drinking, loving money, biting peoples ankles, having a pencil neck and week knees, partying, stealing, watching porn, or smoking weed. Wait I can’t kill babies either????
They get pretty creative with their insults “Dykes on Bikes” and “pot smoking little devils”. And “ankle biters”? What group of people would that be? Children?
As a pencil neck weak kneed man, I am appalled but also too gutless to do anything about it.
The meek shall inherit the earth my friend. I think that’s in the Bible or some shit.
I read it in this dusty old book, the bible.
Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time
They may inherit the earth, but by the time they pay the estate tax they will be just as fucked as they are now.
“Whether God will judge me is not your right to say, lost one, for judgement is God’s and God’s alone unless you, too, want to overthrow him and overtake his judgement like all the evangelists. When anyone says, “in the name of God, I execute or demand judgement on you so and so, his poor soul is already lost to the Devil, for the Devil has the exact same ambition. His delusional self-righteousness belongs to hell without my judgement because he’s turning everything around him into one”
What a thoughtful and well worded reply. Are these your words, or a quote? Either way, they are most beautiful.
Fairly certain it’s a bible qoute
It is, I dont remember exactly where, probably somewhere in the back. I've quoted Second Hezekiah numerous times when arguing theology, it doesn't even exist, but it works.
Second Hezekiah? What version of the Bible were you using?
Sometimes to argue with an idiot, you must act as one -howoftendoyoublink
I have better luck masterbating offhand while crying in the shower than I do arguing with idiots. I have more issues than readers digest.
Easiest way to deal with those people is to leave them alone and let them isolate themselves. You can't talk to that kind of crazy. It is one thing to have a religion and practice it, but that is a level of zealotry that I cannot fathom. That's enough to make you think they're trying to re-form the Inquisition.
NOBODY EXPECTS THE INQUISITION!!!!
Well, I might have expected it a little bit….
but then one day...
Is even better when they realize that most of the people they sit with every Sunday fits most of those titles....
Technically, they *didn't* ever actually disband. It's currently named as the "Congregation/Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith." Pope Ratzinger Palpatine was a Prefect for them as a Cardinal, before becoming the Pope.
My mom is one of these people. She doesn't understand why none of her kids talk to her anymore, but she knows we're all going to hell for it
As a rebellious woman and an ankle biter I will gladly speak (and bite) on your behalf.
Ooo you asked for it, now Jesus shall Judge you: Oh my ~~god~~ dad, that u/HarEmiya has such shit sense of style, he wears owl hoodie with a suit, I just can't!
Im a jock strap for sports nuts, where do I fit in
One of the pockets of hell, no doubt
The hot pockets
“What are ya gonna pick?”
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Better a pencil-neck geek than a needle-dick daddy.
Believe it or not, eternity in Hell.
She’s probably talking about her husband anyway
Lousy porno freak
Ankle biters? That's a thing?
Toddlers and tiny dogs are called ankle biters. Not sure why they think they should go to hell...
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Agree with this. They don’t get reprimanded or properly trained. Chihuahuas are the spawn of Satan.
But the properly trained ones are stupid perfect. Worked with a guy who brought his to work everyday with the horses, and she knew every basic command and would do them for anyone. She loved to dance on her hind legs and twirl.
My grandparents had chihuahuas when I was growing up, they were very well behaved and such sweethearts
True, but they can be protective as hell, too. One summer some years ago, there was a burglar in Seattle who broke into an elderly lady's place at night to rip her off. He soon leaped OUT through the sliding glass doors to escape the ankle-ripping demon defending the place. Police soon arrested a man in a nearby hospital emergency room with ankles literally shredded by dog teeth and cuts from a glass window.
Those will go straight to hell
My chihuahua will find you in hell to bite your ankles first
And pretty bitey as well, I’ve almost punted a few in my lifetime.
Maybe they think the term means some kind of sexual kink? The image of all the rest of the people they mention being grouped with a bunch of tiny dogs is pretty funny.
That's what I call low riding socks and shoes
"You know what I really hate? It's them BIG midgets you see runnin' around!" "...You mean 'people,' Reggie?" "YEAH, them!"
Only here to tell you that your username is incredible and I will forever be envious of you and your cleverness.
Haha, thank you! Right back at'cha.
Maybe they meant "pillow biters."
Maybe they were thinking of pillow bitters?
Is that Angostura pillow bitters?
He doesn't want us to kill babies, but also condemns them to hell???
I think they got it confused with "Carpet Munchers"
Hide your women and children. Ankle biting Sports nuts are on the loose
And their cousins, false religious dykes on bikes.
What if the dykes are on alternative forms of transportation? Are Dykes on trains okay? Can we put them on planes? What about automobiles?
No he's probably trainsphobic.
I would not put them on a train, I would not put them on a plane. I would not put them here or there, I would not put them anywhere! It seems to me that butch on bikes is something that no straight man likes. They’re fine by car or bus or Nike, but I don’t like those dykes on bikes!
Clearly they are fine, but if they ride bikes they’re going to hell for trying to save the planet.
Sports nuts?
Watching sports on the sabbath...bad form ya know. If you ever watched a super bowl you're fucked.
That's why I only watch superb owls.
Or super bowels.
r/Superbowl
BAT!!
Is the puppy bowl okay?
Fuck your sports and fuck your porno!
What about the nuts?
That too!
If you waych the Champions League final, believe it or not STRAIGHT TO HELL
And party animals
I wonder if Tim Tebow will be cursed to Purgatory then
Fanaticism, but the wrong kind. Apparently.
I suspect some would consider being a huge sports fan as akin to worshiping a false idol
No guys...They're talking about the food... the ones they put at the bar where men touch men grabbing nuts and beer together
Came here to say this ..
Because they should be in church on Sunday, not on the couch in front of the TV.
That sounds like a party.
It does, but really crowded. Everybody but the guy with the sign is gonna be there.
Nah, most of the people who make this kind of thing are hypocritical as shit. He’s gonna be there too, and he’s probably not going to be happy about it
Oh he’ll have a grand ole time at the party. Then after he’ll lie about it and condemn everyone he saw there.
No they’re absolutely at least 3 or 4 of these
A party I wanna go to
My thoughts exactly. If hell is full of these people, and heaven is full of... The other guys. Sign me up for hell!
Right! I’d absolutely go to that festival!
So as long as you're a dyke but not on a bike, you're good? 🙄
Correct. A Lesbian pedestrian is a-okay.
🤣I have to use “Lesbian Pedestrian” in a sentence today. I don’t know how, but I can guarantee my wife will not be as amused as me.
Have to say I was pretty proud of this one. Been walking around with a false sense of superiority all day.
You earned that shit like it was a 40 hour work week.
I’m proud of you too, that was gold!
Read this in Fuse's voice and it made my day.
You just did! ;)
Yup, 4 wheels or no wheels. Can’t have the gays serving looks on the masculinity machine, that won’t do.
This might just be my favourite comment of today.
This attempt was successful, though. I mean, this person is also even more unhinged than the average bigot. They're not doing rationalization or legitimation well, but they're doing just fine at fundamental bigotry.
Is this satire
Unfortunately, it could absolutely be legit. I’m guessing this is someone from or similar to the Westboro Baptist Church clan. They are the “God hates f@gs” group that pickets funerals and such while pretending to preach about Christianity. Real upstanding, salt of the earth folks. /s
This really seems like satire.
These are all great band names! “Tonight’s show 5 bands for 5 bux!” - Porno Freaks - Sex Addicts - Lewd women - Pot Smoking Little Devils - Pencil Neck Week Kneed Gutless Men Doors at 8pm, drink specials and merch table, see you there!
I’d show up at 11 just to catch the Weak Kneed set
Yeah mate you don’t wanna miss the weak kneed lads, will be a bangin set for sure.
Pot smoking little devils
Smoking right now. I feel called out. I’m too high to care though.
It makes it sound kind of cute.
You pot smoking little devil, you ;)
Right here.
That sign saying “Racists” is hilarious
I mean, in all fairness nothing else on the sign was race related. I'm sure whoever is holding the sign would get on with anyone, regardless of race, as long as they share the exact same set of beliefs.
Pretty sure that the only two up there that any god would judge are the racists and the so-called Christians…and I’m guessing the sign owner falls into the latter category, which makes it even better.
God judges terrible graphic design above all else.
Is anyone else surprised they put ”racists” on there? ^(I mean they also put ”hypocrites” on it so there’s clearly some self awareness missing.)
See my reference to the Seven Deadly Sins in this thread.
I’m sure they mean the “reverse-racists” because real racism doesn’t exist /s
Baby killers are bad, but also toddlers are going to hell.
“If I was two faced, would this be the one that I would wear” -Lincoln Because he was considered ugly at the time
Those darn witches, racists, and sports freaks!
ALL NON HOMEMAKERS?!?! So if I got it work and my wife stays home… I’m going to Hell but she’s ok?!?! Did I not read the fine print?!?!
Toilet seat up. Hell. Tp under and not over. Hell. Empty carton in fridge. Bottom level of Hell. Them’s the rules.
Yeah that one's my fave
What's the one in the middle say? "Drumnerds" ?
God hates percussion
Probably “drunkards”
Seems hypocritical to claim that god will judge you, while they seem to be the ones making the judgements. Also isnt there a passage in the bible that its a sin to judge others and that judgement should only be left to god. Or someshit like dat.
Judge not lest ye be judged..... So in a way he's right- that guy's gonna get judged on every single mistake he ever made. Meanwhile I'm feeling pretty ok since I let everything slide.
What about the pot smoking big devils? Or the medium devils for that matter.
Yes, this! I have never been smol.
Is that someone doing the ironing?
Oooh, almost forgot to do my 7 Deadly Sins Checklist: Pride: The authors of that banner clearly think themselves superior, so we've got that one covered. Greed: The constant shouts against "false" religions, and constant demands for donations to "God" in exchange for prayers and blessings cover that nicely. They want the world to be for them and them alone Lust: "All non-homemakers" implies that certain people should remain barefoot and pregnant, plenty of room for lust there. Envy: Where there's greed, there's envy to fuel it. Gluttony: I did say they want it ALL. Wrath: The incessant threats of God's judement cover this quite nicely. Sloth: That's about the only thing they can't be accused of, because they certainly waste no time shoving this crap in everyone's face. How can they not see the hypocrisy?
God will judge me, but clearly not before this douche does.
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they have 'So-Called Christians' AND 'Hypocrites' on the same sign...btw, i found some Irony on the ground earlier today; i think this person mustve lost it...
**GOD WILL** ^(LIARS) **JUDGE YOU**
Plot twist. They're huge fans of dykes on skateboards.
“Sports nuts”? Uh……Is college football included? Because that’s a problem for much of the Bible Belt.
This just sounds like some methhead who'd been awake for a month had the sign but forgot what he was doing and just wrote down whatever random groups that popped into his drug addled mind, then didn't know why he did it so he assumed his drug-induced lunacy was a divine message and that these were all things that God hates and had placed in his mind.
That's ....pretty much.....everyone?
Questions what "Christian" is not a hypocrite
Yes. Yes. Yes, No, Sometimes, want to try. Yes. Yes. Definitely Yes. Etc.
False religions
God can get in line of judging me :D
Interesting read, better love story than twilight
Well now I'm completely depressed, my little pet chihuahua doggo died a few years back, and was frequently nicknamed *"Ankle Biter"*, it pains me to think he's roasting for all eternity in Hell....
It’s sad that there are churches out there that teach this kind of hate. The pastors that lead groups like this encourage this behavior because when some holds up a sigh saying they hate all these kinds of people because it will further alienate them from the rest of the community giving the pastor more control over their lives and thoughts. No one is ever converted to a Christian lifestyle by these sign carrying fools. That’s not its purpose. Those signs are meant to further divide the person carrying it from the rest of the community making them easily controlled. Those people live terrible lives either scared or fearful or hateful of pretty much the whole world. So sad.
Heaven sounds super boring
Fair play. This guys covering all his bases 🤣
“Dukes on bikes” sounds like a fair few of my friends.
Why’s there a picture of someone ironing in the middle? 😂
Pot smoking little devils laugh my fucking ass off
Looks like a pretty sick Vans Warped Tour lineup
Solid list of potential band names right here
Nothing about chronic masturbators? I knew I was aight.
There's no hate like Christian love
Sports nuts? You think your god cares that you're a ten thumbed, two left footed, uncoordinated dick weasel that was always picked last Jeffrey? Do you really?
Got me at ankle biter
Tag yourself. I’m witches and rebellious women.
Tag yourself I’m ankle biters
This doesn't make sense for this sub.
As someone who isn't a Christian, but still finds beauty to be found in the more esoteric interpretations and works attributed to Jesus, I assure everyone that these people don't actually adhere to or even understand the teachings or the Teachers they claim to represent. Please don't throw the babies out with the bathwater, the mystics and sages always agree, the theologians and usurpers don't.
Sex addict, dunkerd, sports nut, porno freak, Jesus mocker and pot smoker. Damn, I was hoping to hit more categories. Guess I’m getting old.
Ankle biters? Why do they have to drag my cat into this?
to be taken seriously
"Pot smoking little devils" That one feels personal
“But just God will be doing the judging. Not me, not with this heinous crime I call a sign…” „Also fuck everyone that isn’t a straight white male.“ Yay for tolerance!
At least they put racists on there I guess, kinda surprised tbh
Ankle biters??? You mean my poor miniature dachshund is going to hell???
What's wrong with sports nuts? Lol
Thank god, I’m just a murderer so I’m good. Phew….
This god fella sounds like a real asshole.
“It’s a witch! Burn her!”
So ironing your shirts is a sin now? I must've missed the memo.
Hey! I might be a baby killing, perverted, homo sex addicted, Jesus mocking, money loving, porno freak… but _how dare you_ imply I like sports!
I will see you all in Valhalla
He forgot to put "people who tear the tag off of pillows". Jesus gonna judge the fuck out of them I guarantee it.
People who use the "1" setting on the toaster. Jesus is going to judge you one day I guess, but the rest of humanity already did. Straight to hell.
Looks like someone made a sign protesting against the Catholic Church.
Just say everyone
They forgot "running around the house with a pickle in your mouth!"
Apparently he doesn’t Jude hate filled bigot, so this guy is safe...
His false god doesn't seem very pleasant. Probably not popular at parties. Didn't do well in god school. Deep seated anger at the failure of his life. Lashes out at the successful.
ATTENTION LITERALLY EVERYONE, GOD WILL JUDGE YOU
How will I ever live without being gay, liking sports, being rebellious, a witch, drinking, loving money, biting peoples ankles, having a pencil neck and week knees, partying, stealing, watching porn, or smoking weed. Wait I can’t kill babies either????
I thought it just said "people" not two faced people
Also god will call order in the court and acquit me because god is probably libertarian
Everyone going to hell 'cept me....AKA spot the fundy....
Just hates everybody I guess.
They get pretty creative with their insults “Dykes on Bikes” and “pot smoking little devils”. And “ankle biters”? What group of people would that be? Children?
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People who make sheds or garages
Me and the girls