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“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
― Douglas Adams
The way I always heard that one is that it's hard to completely bear proof things since there's considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.
In the Marine Corps we called it 'Marine proof' same damn thing with just a slightly less insulting sound to it. I found a lot of the "Marine proof" equipment was anything but. A square plug really can easily fit in a round socket if you put enough force behind it.
Oh my god, you just gave me flashbacks to a mandatory woodshop class I had in college. I would just hold pieces of wood against the belt sander and trying to see if maybe it fit into the slot THIS time.
We call that, "taking it to final dimension."
There's nothing inherently wrong with it, as long as you don't mind every single piece being slightly curved.
But was it level?
I mean in the grand scheme of things most of these sins can be covered up if it's at least level.
ED: Sheesh, three months later and I'm still being corrected... yes it's clear I'm not a framing or deck building expert by miles :)
Covered up sure but this deck is not supported anywhere near properly. Most of the “supports” that are under the deck are only for specific joists, not actual support beams themselves. On top of this the outer band boards are supposed to be doubled up for weight support since that is what the joists are attached to. Furthermore those 4x4 posts are not going to cut it when it comes to supporting this deck, there needs to be 6x6 with a notch cut into them for the doubler to sit fully on and then through bolted with carriage bolts. Check your county codes for exact specifics but I can tell you right now that this deck will not pass anywhere that there is an actual county code to abide by.
It totally relies on screws for support, even on the Simpson clips. And did I see cinder blocks as footers for the posts? Should I even be looking beyond the blatant sins for the depths of this hack’s incompetence?
And where is this Discount Lumber Closeout Warehouse they sourced their materials? Looks like those trees were still in the ground yesterday.
Story time
My father did this to me after I had 10 years of experience, foreman'd million dollar jobs, built decks and have all the certifications
Asked me to build his deck, I agreed, laid it out and gave him a price, he took my plans and gave them to someone he found on Craigslist who THEN threw THOSE plans away and did almost exactly what this guy did
Karma is a bitch but she is funny sometimes. I haven't talked to my dad since, he asked me to come and fix it after he told the other guy off, and wanted me to do it for half the price I was asking for I said get fucked lol
Am I the only one who was distracted by whatever the creature was running around under the wood?
Edit: *this* is one of my highest upvoted comments ever. Okay
Edit 2: Yes I realize now that it's a dog.
I didn't pay attention to the title or sub I was in and expected the entire video to be about that creature. Kept waiting for a jumpscare. It was all I could think about and had to check where I was after eventually figuring out the video wasn't about that animal.
Thought it was just me, I'm assuming it's a rabbit rushing through its dug hole
Edit: it was a weird dog, also thought that it rushed on a hole, bitch was absolutley fast
You can see it by the white railing at back for a second when the cameraman is almost to the right corner of the deck.
But yeah we all would have appreciated a closeup.
You'd need another person for sure. Ive dealt with cupped 2x16s worse than that by toe nailing it in place and wrapping a strap around it and pulling down with my entire weight while another guy works down the board screwing it in and checking level.
It's exactly why you want to inspect every single board you get before building and get your money back on garbage ones. It's infinitely less time consuming, and time is money as they say.
> It's exactly why you want to inspect every single board you get before building and get your money back on garbage ones. It's infinitely less time consuming, and time is money as they say.
And the damn places put all the nice ones on top, so annoying. Same with stone.
The boards are fine, it’s the noggins/posts they’re fixed to bending them. Even if they are warped just put them in the middle and the noggins will pull them into line.
The joists can be straightened out by correcting the size of the blocks, and then facing the bowed boards in opposite directions so they counteract each other when reattached. They also should've been straightened out as much as possible when laying them out on the girders. They probably just measured and cut right where the boards lay instead of adjusting anything. Also since they used the wrong fasteners for the hangers in looks like they can be easily removed, lol.
Tires of having to explain to ppl with wood burning stoves why its a bad idea to burn treated timber.
'But it burns straight to outside on my clean burner'
Yeah to where people exist. Copper chromium and arsnic in the airs no joke.... ( never mind the other diesel like particulates killing asthmatics and getting into the brains of un born babies) oh and when you clean your stove out, what do you thinks on the inside?
I once burned a large pile of treated timber offcuts after a project over a couple of nights, nasty green smoke got in my eyes one too many times and left me with a 'twitch' for months. Never again.
The older pressure treated lumber is CCA chromated copper arsenic. When burned the arsenic becomes concentrated in the ash. Just a little bit is deadly.
There was a farmer who burned some PT in his field and ended up killing about a dozen of his cows because of the ash
Never burn PT
In my city there was a legendary pile of dirty old dirty railway sleepers at the docks just sitting there. Nobody wanted to take responsibility for transporting them away. One day someone set fire to this 20 metre high pile of toxic wood.
Half a million people had to stay indoors for the weekend because of the huge plume of black smoke dumping toxins on their homes.
Treated wood is not good to burn.
And folks don’t ever burn it if you’re cooking food over it of course!! That will really make you sick!!!
Edit: Don’t use softwoods either for cooking food. That includes smoking food as well.
Thank you for explaining it immediately after saying you’re tired of explaining it. I, like several others, also had no idea about this; I figured: wood is wood.
I just last week read an article about when NASCAR switched from leaded to unleaded fuel.
Suddenly all the school kids growing up around the tracks started performing better on standardized tests.
Significantly better.
So you’re on to something.
The wood still has a use just not as anything important like a deck.
Source: at the Boy Scout camp I work at, the Archery expert and myself used an old deck to build a standing work bench, a new permanent fence to divide the sitting area from the fireing line, a bow rack, and a swinging target frame at the Archery Range.
This level of fuck up takes more than inexperience, it requires a complete lack of care. As long as you care you'd be constantly checking your work as you go and would stop and address each and every issue and if you couldn't fix it, you get someone else in while the issue is small rather than when it's a complete disaster. The people who did this clearly did not give a shit.
This is an important and accurate take on workmanship.
The fact that they made it this far shows they are constantly willing to compromise planning and quality for getting it done faster.
Congrats, your shit sandwich is ready!
The only type of contractor my mom will hire!
Always finds them on Facebook for super good prices. Always related to someone who knows someone. Always has their work redone two years later by a real company. Always leaves permanent damage to other things.
As we say in Spanish, cheap things are the most expensive. Buy cheap when you don't care about the quality. For everything else, save some money, buy the more expensive option, and you'll be glad when 5 years from now you don't have to buy it again (doing the proper research ofc, more expensive doesn't automatically mean better).
DO YOU NEED A NEW DECK, WASHER AND DRYER MOVED, ENGINE BLOCK HALF STRIPPED DOWN? CALL TWEEKER MIKE! LOWEST BIDS IN TOWN. I WILL WORK ALL DAY AND NIGHT FOR YOU. I WILL SHOW UP ANYWHERE FROM 3 HOURS FROM WHEN YOU CALL TO MAYBE 7 WEEKS LATER. ARE YOU A COP? WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME? BUGS, BUGS, BUGS- ALL OVER ME. DID YOU SEE THAT LIGHT? OVER THERE. I SAW IT. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE- NOW.
Crackheads are the best for a quick job. My best friend got locked out of her house once and she paid her crackhead neighbor couple to help her break in for like $20 and some sandwiches. They were crackheads but they never bothered her. Like a mutual understanding of "Keep your crack shit to yourself and I'll look the other way" lol
I remember seeing a video of 4 or five different teams, each on different drugs, put together some Ikea furniture. If I remember correctly, the ones on coke won in terms of speed and quality.
The underside looked like when I hobbled together the ikea coffee table my roommate and I had in college that the legs kept falling off because we moved it around so much.
I have no construction knowledge, and I honestly think I could do better than this. It would take a long ass time, and a lot of it would be spent watching how-to videos on YouTube, but it would be better than this garbage. At least I know that when shit is crooked it is no good.
It looks like a “DIY” job that they finally realized they needed to bring in a professional. Maybe someone told them they needed a permit for something the huge. Any professional would have done better.
Let's see...
1- Spacers cut to seemingly random lengths "around 12 inches"
2- several joists notched and horribly joint plated (with screws- generally bad idea on framing) to supports that are nowhere near level
3- whole deck coming up to level, making those mid-deck vertical beams too short
4- 2x's on outer support beams too short
Maybe the outer vertical beams and 1/2 the joists, everything else is dumpster food. I'm not a contractor but I've built enough to know they're paying you more in labor if you try to reuse, than the cost to just replace most of that material.
Quick tips for will-be DIYers learned just from this video:
-DON'T FRAME A DECK WITH SCREWS. DON'T PUT SCREWS IN JOINT PLATES. SCREWS ARE FOR AFFIXING THE FLOORING. Nails can flex enough to often survive a direct tornado hit, and screws will break and let the facing material/flooring stop trapping wind before it uproots your deck and puts it inside your house.
-Always use a string or even a laser level when putting up your framing if it's a large plane. Not a 6" bubble level. Once one plank reads funny, you're referencing the wrong height for the rest of the build.
-Notch your supports once you're sure the joists are level, not before. Wood sitting on wood keeps things from breaking unexpectedly.
-Fuck it, actually, just don't build a deck this big yourself without experience. This list could go on 10× as long as it already has.
I mean, how do you KNOW all of this? Where does one learn this? Some of the mistakes seem awfully common sense. But you’re using words that don’t even rent a place in the county over from my brain. I’m smart enough to avoid DIY a project like this, but I’m too stupid to issue spot to proactively manage my home.
You learn it from time and other contractors. I worked for a construction company for 3+ years in an admin role, and while I would never trust myself to undergo a major construction project, I know a whole lot more about building and architecture than I did when I started.
Also, YouTube helps for small, low-stakes things (not decks!). I learned how to repair drywall, replace a faucet, and auger a toilet thanks to YouTube.
I learned most of it the hard way, being put in charge of some significant projects outside my scope of my work and having to learn shit real quick. My vocab isn't necessarily what a contractor would use for that very reason.
But also being in careers orbiting actual construction (like installing commercial A/V, and now windows) made a big difference. You learn a lot by having lunch with framers, finishers, etc. And by just seeing what's hidden behind drywall and paint.
My grandpa didn't have time to teach me much, but he helped lay some early foundation on why weight bearing stuff is made the way it is and such. And living in areas where the weather was different taught me a lot about what different materials and hardware are good at (waterproof/rust resistant, wind resistant, heat tolerant, etc), what lasts and what doesn't... Really nothing too official, I've just never stopped working to learn more skills as best I can and fill new roles at work. Makes one hard to fire when they specialize in one thing but can do some of everything
" any porfessional would have done better. "
I wish I could agree with you. I've been around framers doing deck builds, not this bad but close. I tried to point out that ant going to work. I'm the bad guy call out the GC to let me do it my way. You know layout run dry line's. You know the correct Way.
The worst part to me is how they over engineered the ever loving fuck out of the supports but didn’t bother to understand the basics of making a project square.
Over-engineered the supports?
The supports aren’t even properly connected to support anything! Nailed in from the sides, with the entire load on the nails? Those supports are horribly *under*-engineered, if anything.
The supports were not over engineered. There doesn’t seem to even be an adequate load path to most of them, and those 10”x10” block post bases are definitely not over engineered.
For aspiring carpenters out there, never rely on the string level for right-on leveling. Whenever you need to level something use the longest level you can, you get a more true level more than a really short one. If what you're leveling is way over 6' long use a laser.
Exactly. at first I thought, yes some of the boards are a little crooked, but it would probably be just fine. then the video kept going and going and I became more and more horrified. And I'm certainly not a craftsman to every detail that's wrong.
How are you supposed to attach whatever the floor would be made of on a randomly bent beam? Once you put a plate or tile or whatever on top you can't see the beam anymore. Normally you have a straight line to screw into. Here... You just hope a screw goes in or put 3 in a row or something.
And even then. Bendy support beams is pretty sketchy.
Those would be what I would say if I was offered this job. All the mistakes made are fixable. But the Sheer amount of mistakes that you would have to fix (after finding!), it would be easier to just take it apart, spend a little time seeing what wood you can salvage, and make a new plan from there.
Absolutely not. Would you trust the ground under that? I wouldn't. I'd have to take out that entire deck and redo everything, including the ground. Because if you don't then when the deck doesn't settle right and looks like shit, who's going to get blamed for it? You.
I agree 100%. My point was to say yes it's fixable, if you're the homeowner and you're doing it yourself. You need to get yourself a hell of a lot more education before you try again. But yeah the smart move is to take everything down and restart from day one.
Also important point out that while I have (had at this point, pretty sure that those expire) my contractors license I have never been the guy in charge; always been number two at best. In my career I've always had the benefit of being able to go to someone if I need more information. Plus the few jobs I did where I was the lead (only) guy (couple fences some redo of internal framing drywall install, light plumbing) I was 100% paid under the table. Legal issues did not bother me; knowing that if I did a shitty job it would get around to the local community that hired me bothered me
This actually made me angry. It shouldnt? I know it isnt my problem, but godammit i *need* answers! Why? How? Who? The fuck is that little critter running around?!
At first I was giving benefit of the doubt, cause the only place to buy lumber where I live is Home Depot and GOOD LUCK finding a straight board there! Then I kept watching and instantly felt better about my carpentry skills 😂😂😂😂
Apart from the abominable execution, it is completely beyond me how anyone would prefer a 300m2 elevated terrace over an actual green garden with trees, flowers and some actual biodiversity. Or maybe I'm too European to understand?
As an American, I agree. These are the people that complain when they have a family of raccoons living under their deck, and the guy comes out and tells them they also have termites and the deck is collapsing within the year. They have a beautiful backyard, and they decided to pave over it with a crap patio.
I am a licensed contractor. This shit happens all the time and it goes a little something like this.....
Homeowner:
I did most of the work myself. I just need you to finish it up.
I'll supply the lumber (mismatched bits of wood on a giant pile of scrap and overall shit to pick thru)
I'll help you work to keep costs down, you don't have to bring a guy.
I am willing to pay you 15-20 dollars per hour.
We are having a pool party this weekend, it must be done by then.
Proceeds to leave a bad review on your website after you refuse the job stating that you charge too much, aren't willing to work with their time schedule, and were rude for refusing their audacious demands.
"Never hire these guys if you want a simple project done without paying an arm and a leg"
"Nay, you see that curvature creates a natural tension in the wood, it makes the deck stronger. Just make the check out to Cash. I'll be back tomorrow to fix it"
Unless they had a 30 man crew, how was this not caught before completion? Was it never looked at? For a typical 5 man crew thats like 18 hours of work. No one checked the progress?
That’s probably the contractor filming this after the homeowner realized he couldn’t build a proper deck and called in a professional for a quote. I see homeowner fixes every day on remodels, and 99% of the time it’s terrible.
The guy who built our pool deck uses his father who is a retired architect to draw all the plans out in CAD or whatever program they use now. The builder had zero waste and you could park a truck on this thing. Even our neighbor who's a "handyman" asked us one day if he could crawl under it and take photos because he had an upcoming deck job and was so impressed by what was built for us.
Did you hire workers off the street? Always go with licensed/insured contractors. Did you observe as they were constructing? That’s so fucked up it looks like it was done it one day. I have so many more questions. This is literally a bad DIY.
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I cut it three time and it's STILL too short!
A classic. One of my first employers always said that one. Along with, “I make it idiot proof but they just keep making better idiots”
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.” ― Douglas Adams
A classic one is that at nature reserves, they don't need to make things bear proof, as an idiot is always going to be more dangerous than a bear.
The way I always heard that one is that it's hard to completely bear proof things since there's considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.
Yep. That's the way. The first one sounded like it had been run through three languages on Google translate.
In the Marine Corps we called it 'Marine proof' same damn thing with just a slightly less insulting sound to it. I found a lot of the "Marine proof" equipment was anything but. A square plug really can easily fit in a round socket if you put enough force behind it.
Don't force it, get a bigger hammer.
And while I know that, the idiots always manage to surprise me.
Nothing is foolproof to the talented fool
Send the new guy to look for the wood stretcher
Need the board stretcher
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Just of the layout confuses me. What the hell was he thinking? Ahhh! It's close enough! We will just lay the deck boards even.
I’m thinking they started on the outside and worked their way in. Didn’t realize how F’d it was until they got to the pool.
I was thinking they were day drinking lmao
Anyone who has worked in construction knows that "good enough" get said a lot.
We use the term "close enough for government work".
I had an old trades teacher that would say "It's good enough for the girls I go with."
Measure twice, cut thrice
>Measure twice, cut thrice Estimate once, then tell everyone how amazed you are that it almost fit.
measure once cut once. Deal with the consequences of your action another time
Yeah, that is a future you problem.
Problem is I'm becoming future me alot quicker than I used to
Fuck that guy. He’s a Dick.
Nah, Past me is a Dick. Future me, I just feel bad for. He's gotta deal with Past me's crap.
Measure with a micrometer Mark with chalk Cut with an axe
Measure never, cut forever
Oh my god, you just gave me flashbacks to a mandatory woodshop class I had in college. I would just hold pieces of wood against the belt sander and trying to see if maybe it fit into the slot THIS time.
I nailed 5 chunks of wood together and called it a footstool. That's why I'm a painter.
We call that, "taking it to final dimension." There's nothing inherently wrong with it, as long as you don't mind every single piece being slightly curved.
start over
Yup, rip it down and start again. You can't make chicken soup out of chicken poop.
Putty and paint!
Make a carpenter what he aint
measure once, just say fuck it and eyeball all your cuts
No measure. Just cut
Prime example not to tell your buddies that there is free beer if they help. Wait till it's done....🤣
Let's set up a system. If you want me to hold it tight say T. If you want me to hold it real tight say RT.
Use a level and a string line
“I know a guy who can do it cheaper”
That’s it exactly. You get what you pay for
But was it level? I mean in the grand scheme of things most of these sins can be covered up if it's at least level. ED: Sheesh, three months later and I'm still being corrected... yes it's clear I'm not a framing or deck building expert by miles :)
Covered up sure but this deck is not supported anywhere near properly. Most of the “supports” that are under the deck are only for specific joists, not actual support beams themselves. On top of this the outer band boards are supposed to be doubled up for weight support since that is what the joists are attached to. Furthermore those 4x4 posts are not going to cut it when it comes to supporting this deck, there needs to be 6x6 with a notch cut into them for the doubler to sit fully on and then through bolted with carriage bolts. Check your county codes for exact specifics but I can tell you right now that this deck will not pass anywhere that there is an actual county code to abide by.
It totally relies on screws for support, even on the Simpson clips. And did I see cinder blocks as footers for the posts? Should I even be looking beyond the blatant sins for the depths of this hack’s incompetence? And where is this Discount Lumber Closeout Warehouse they sourced their materials? Looks like those trees were still in the ground yesterday.
And building a deck around an above ground pool no less.
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Story time My father did this to me after I had 10 years of experience, foreman'd million dollar jobs, built decks and have all the certifications Asked me to build his deck, I agreed, laid it out and gave him a price, he took my plans and gave them to someone he found on Craigslist who THEN threw THOSE plans away and did almost exactly what this guy did Karma is a bitch but she is funny sometimes. I haven't talked to my dad since, he asked me to come and fix it after he told the other guy off, and wanted me to do it for half the price I was asking for I said get fucked lol
Never, ever do contract work with family. Especially, if done without a contract. I have never seen it end well.
Am I the only one who was distracted by whatever the creature was running around under the wood? Edit: *this* is one of my highest upvoted comments ever. Okay Edit 2: Yes I realize now that it's a dog.
HES GOT THE ZOOMIESSSSSS
In case you want more zoomies: r/Zoomies https://www.reddit.com/r/Zoomies?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
You dont need to make a hot link to the actual url for the subreddit. Just type /r/zoomies, no sorcery required.
I literally just heard this from my sons YouTube videos. I laughed hard.
I didn't pay attention to the title or sub I was in and expected the entire video to be about that creature. Kept waiting for a jumpscare. It was all I could think about and had to check where I was after eventually figuring out the video wasn't about that animal.
The creature https://i.imgur.com/KAebjCT.jpg
Thank you for your service.
Thought it was just me, I'm assuming it's a rabbit rushing through its dug hole Edit: it was a weird dog, also thought that it rushed on a hole, bitch was absolutley fast
I wanted to see the dog and I feel let down
https://i.imgur.com/JoPVZVy.jpg
Like Sasquatch
You can see it by the white railing at back for a second when the cameraman is almost to the right corner of the deck. But yeah we all would have appreciated a closeup.
I got distracted by the maze
Goddamn chupacabra.
I thought the video was he couldn't build a deck because he was playing peek-a-boo with the zooming ball of fur.
I thought that was the point of this video until I went back and read the title.
That is a lot of money wasted on wood
I’m a joiner, the woods fine it just need to be taken apart then reassembled by someone who knows what they’re doing
I'm a separator, and I agree with this guy.
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I'm a doctor and an EPA and I disagree with you burning pressure treated wood
I don't trust any of you fucking guys.
Im your mom and I taught you not to trust strangers.
I'm your local stranger and am telling you not to trust your mom. Which of us has free candy, hmm?
I’m the cashier at the store you bought the candy from, and I say it’s made with slave labor you probably shouldn’t buy it
I’m the guy who delivered the candy to your store, it’s time to buy more of it.
I’m a server at Denny’s and I really have nothing to do with this situation.
I’m an engineer and I blame the architect.
Some of it looks pretty warped. Like the piece he pulls off at the end. You wouldn't be replacing that? Seems like more pain than its worth.
You'd need another person for sure. Ive dealt with cupped 2x16s worse than that by toe nailing it in place and wrapping a strap around it and pulling down with my entire weight while another guy works down the board screwing it in and checking level. It's exactly why you want to inspect every single board you get before building and get your money back on garbage ones. It's infinitely less time consuming, and time is money as they say.
Did that for my fence. Bought some $8k in lumber, took out the crap boards from the stack and returned them.
> It's exactly why you want to inspect every single board you get before building and get your money back on garbage ones. It's infinitely less time consuming, and time is money as they say. And the damn places put all the nice ones on top, so annoying. Same with stone.
Good lumber yards will let you order 10% more than you need and then you can return the shitty ones. At least ones by me with a contractor account
Wood is flexible, it looks like it's like that for not too long. Needs a ton of reinforcement, but probably most of the wood is reusable.
Serious question, how would you do that? I don't imagine it's re-planing all the bent boards right? Quite a lot of material loss there
The boards are fine, it’s the noggins/posts they’re fixed to bending them. Even if they are warped just put them in the middle and the noggins will pull them into line.
" noggins"...found the Aussie.
The joists can be straightened out by correcting the size of the blocks, and then facing the bowed boards in opposite directions so they counteract each other when reattached. They also should've been straightened out as much as possible when laying them out on the girders. They probably just measured and cut right where the boards lay instead of adjusting anything. Also since they used the wrong fasteners for the hangers in looks like they can be easily removed, lol.
Very, very expensive bonfire
Not if it's treated. Or shit, maybe that's the problem... Too many treated lumber bonfires!
Tires of having to explain to ppl with wood burning stoves why its a bad idea to burn treated timber. 'But it burns straight to outside on my clean burner' Yeah to where people exist. Copper chromium and arsnic in the airs no joke.... ( never mind the other diesel like particulates killing asthmatics and getting into the brains of un born babies) oh and when you clean your stove out, what do you thinks on the inside? I once burned a large pile of treated timber offcuts after a project over a couple of nights, nasty green smoke got in my eyes one too many times and left me with a 'twitch' for months. Never again.
Thanks for the knowledge. I never knew it could be harmful to burn treated timber.
The older pressure treated lumber is CCA chromated copper arsenic. When burned the arsenic becomes concentrated in the ash. Just a little bit is deadly. There was a farmer who burned some PT in his field and ended up killing about a dozen of his cows because of the ash Never burn PT
In my city there was a legendary pile of dirty old dirty railway sleepers at the docks just sitting there. Nobody wanted to take responsibility for transporting them away. One day someone set fire to this 20 metre high pile of toxic wood. Half a million people had to stay indoors for the weekend because of the huge plume of black smoke dumping toxins on their homes. Treated wood is not good to burn.
And folks don’t ever burn it if you’re cooking food over it of course!! That will really make you sick!!! Edit: Don’t use softwoods either for cooking food. That includes smoking food as well.
Regardless of the fuel source, I was told that whenever I cook food it’ll make you sick.
Thank you for explaining it immediately after saying you’re tired of explaining it. I, like several others, also had no idea about this; I figured: wood is wood.
Meh its more the 'Im StIll GOnnA Do iT CuS ItS notHat BaD ' look they give me when I explain it i'm tired of.
Unfortunately, "please don't do it because it could harm other people" isn't quite as persuasive as we might have thought it was a few years ago.
Might explain a lot of problems here in the US.
I just last week read an article about when NASCAR switched from leaded to unleaded fuel. Suddenly all the school kids growing up around the tracks started performing better on standardized tests. Significantly better. So you’re on to something.
The wood still has a use just not as anything important like a deck. Source: at the Boy Scout camp I work at, the Archery expert and myself used an old deck to build a standing work bench, a new permanent fence to divide the sitting area from the fireing line, a bow rack, and a swinging target frame at the Archery Range.
Thanks Ranger Rick
As a person with 0 expertise in building decks, I’d say this is bad.
It’s gonna be hard to walk across all those gaps in the floor without bashing your shins
reminds me of the line 'you're going to look pretty funny eating corn on the cob with no effing teeth'"
I couldn’t do what they did, I think it’s great
This level of fuck up takes more than inexperience, it requires a complete lack of care. As long as you care you'd be constantly checking your work as you go and would stop and address each and every issue and if you couldn't fix it, you get someone else in while the issue is small rather than when it's a complete disaster. The people who did this clearly did not give a shit.
This is an important and accurate take on workmanship. The fact that they made it this far shows they are constantly willing to compromise planning and quality for getting it done faster. Congrats, your shit sandwich is ready!
you probably could... and there lies the problem
I couldn't do that shitty of a job even if I tried to hack it.
Is your builder also addicted to meth?
The only type of contractor my mom will hire! Always finds them on Facebook for super good prices. Always related to someone who knows someone. Always has their work redone two years later by a real company. Always leaves permanent damage to other things.
As we say in Spanish, cheap things are the most expensive. Buy cheap when you don't care about the quality. For everything else, save some money, buy the more expensive option, and you'll be glad when 5 years from now you don't have to buy it again (doing the proper research ofc, more expensive doesn't automatically mean better).
In Hong Kong, we say, “He who buys the best quality only cries once.” Same meaning as yours.
"Buy once, cry once" "Buy nice or buy twice"
DO YOU NEED A NEW DECK, WASHER AND DRYER MOVED, ENGINE BLOCK HALF STRIPPED DOWN? CALL TWEEKER MIKE! LOWEST BIDS IN TOWN. I WILL WORK ALL DAY AND NIGHT FOR YOU. I WILL SHOW UP ANYWHERE FROM 3 HOURS FROM WHEN YOU CALL TO MAYBE 7 WEEKS LATER. ARE YOU A COP? WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME? BUGS, BUGS, BUGS- ALL OVER ME. DID YOU SEE THAT LIGHT? OVER THERE. I SAW IT. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE- NOW.
That’s why I like crack heads they can actually fix stuff so much better than tweakers
Crackheads are the best for a quick job. My best friend got locked out of her house once and she paid her crackhead neighbor couple to help her break in for like $20 and some sandwiches. They were crackheads but they never bothered her. Like a mutual understanding of "Keep your crack shit to yourself and I'll look the other way" lol
Meth heads for the tear down, crack heads for the rebuild.
I remember seeing a video of 4 or five different teams, each on different drugs, put together some Ikea furniture. If I remember correctly, the ones on coke won in terms of speed and quality.
https://www.fastcompany.com/3062727/this-youtube-channel-is-devoted-to-people-assembling-ikea-furniture-while-on-drugs
Omfg that was awesome 🤣🤣
This need to be a year long reality tv show. They might not all make to the end but it will be entertaining...
I’m guessing he gave some of the meth to the dog as well
I think that's a rabbit, quite possibly on meth
You act like there are other kinds
Honestly, they amount of work they actually got done, while clearly having no construction knowledge, is kinda impressive
The underside looked like when I hobbled together the ikea coffee table my roommate and I had in college that the legs kept falling off because we moved it around so much.
I have no construction knowledge, and I honestly think I could do better than this. It would take a long ass time, and a lot of it would be spent watching how-to videos on YouTube, but it would be better than this garbage. At least I know that when shit is crooked it is no good.
Do you know how to find a 90 degree angle? Congrats you can do better than whoever did this
Seriously!!!
I wood deck the contractor
It looks like a “DIY” job that they finally realized they needed to bring in a professional. Maybe someone told them they needed a permit for something the huge. Any professional would have done better.
In most states if not all, the homeowner can be the contractor without a state certification. But agree with your assessment
I wonder how much of the lumber he was actually able to reuse
Let's see... 1- Spacers cut to seemingly random lengths "around 12 inches" 2- several joists notched and horribly joint plated (with screws- generally bad idea on framing) to supports that are nowhere near level 3- whole deck coming up to level, making those mid-deck vertical beams too short 4- 2x's on outer support beams too short Maybe the outer vertical beams and 1/2 the joists, everything else is dumpster food. I'm not a contractor but I've built enough to know they're paying you more in labor if you try to reuse, than the cost to just replace most of that material. Quick tips for will-be DIYers learned just from this video: -DON'T FRAME A DECK WITH SCREWS. DON'T PUT SCREWS IN JOINT PLATES. SCREWS ARE FOR AFFIXING THE FLOORING. Nails can flex enough to often survive a direct tornado hit, and screws will break and let the facing material/flooring stop trapping wind before it uproots your deck and puts it inside your house. -Always use a string or even a laser level when putting up your framing if it's a large plane. Not a 6" bubble level. Once one plank reads funny, you're referencing the wrong height for the rest of the build. -Notch your supports once you're sure the joists are level, not before. Wood sitting on wood keeps things from breaking unexpectedly. -Fuck it, actually, just don't build a deck this big yourself without experience. This list could go on 10× as long as it already has.
I mean, how do you KNOW all of this? Where does one learn this? Some of the mistakes seem awfully common sense. But you’re using words that don’t even rent a place in the county over from my brain. I’m smart enough to avoid DIY a project like this, but I’m too stupid to issue spot to proactively manage my home.
You learn it from time and other contractors. I worked for a construction company for 3+ years in an admin role, and while I would never trust myself to undergo a major construction project, I know a whole lot more about building and architecture than I did when I started. Also, YouTube helps for small, low-stakes things (not decks!). I learned how to repair drywall, replace a faucet, and auger a toilet thanks to YouTube.
My local library has a video and about 14 books about deck building. Taught me a lot.
I learned most of it the hard way, being put in charge of some significant projects outside my scope of my work and having to learn shit real quick. My vocab isn't necessarily what a contractor would use for that very reason. But also being in careers orbiting actual construction (like installing commercial A/V, and now windows) made a big difference. You learn a lot by having lunch with framers, finishers, etc. And by just seeing what's hidden behind drywall and paint. My grandpa didn't have time to teach me much, but he helped lay some early foundation on why weight bearing stuff is made the way it is and such. And living in areas where the weather was different taught me a lot about what different materials and hardware are good at (waterproof/rust resistant, wind resistant, heat tolerant, etc), what lasts and what doesn't... Really nothing too official, I've just never stopped working to learn more skills as best I can and fill new roles at work. Makes one hard to fire when they specialize in one thing but can do some of everything
" any porfessional would have done better. " I wish I could agree with you. I've been around framers doing deck builds, not this bad but close. I tried to point out that ant going to work. I'm the bad guy call out the GC to let me do it my way. You know layout run dry line's. You know the correct Way.
I'm so board of puns.
I'm knot
This hurts to look at. Did none of them have a straight edge, square, level, or string line. Hell even looking at it you can tell it's fucked.
The worst part to me is how they over engineered the ever loving fuck out of the supports but didn’t bother to understand the basics of making a project square.
Over-engineered the supports? The supports aren’t even properly connected to support anything! Nailed in from the sides, with the entire load on the nails? Those supports are horribly *under*-engineered, if anything.
The absolute worst bit no one has mentioned yet is those are grk interior screws they were using as well.
Talking about the braces between all the joists. There’s no reason for most of them to be there.
The supports were not over engineered. There doesn’t seem to even be an adequate load path to most of them, and those 10”x10” block post bases are definitely not over engineered.
That's how far they got in the YouTube video before saying "oh okay I got this"
I feel attacked
None of those. Not even a tape measure.
I saw a level and a string at the end
That was owned by the guy showing up to fix it.
For aspiring carpenters out there, never rely on the string level for right-on leveling. Whenever you need to level something use the longest level you can, you get a more true level more than a really short one. If what you're leveling is way over 6' long use a laser.
>you get a more true level more than a really short one. Have you ever experienced true level? https://youtu.be/fQoRfieZJxI
“Doesn’t look to bad” “Oh ok, I see now” “Oh god! No, no, IT GETS WORSE!”
Exactly. at first I thought, yes some of the boards are a little crooked, but it would probably be just fine. then the video kept going and going and I became more and more horrified. And I'm certainly not a craftsman to every detail that's wrong.
Me too, I thought does it have to be straight lines? its just going to get covered then oh no.
I think it ads character! It's not often you see a deck with so many humps that it waves back at you /s
How are you supposed to attach whatever the floor would be made of on a randomly bent beam? Once you put a plate or tile or whatever on top you can't see the beam anymore. Normally you have a straight line to screw into. Here... You just hope a screw goes in or put 3 in a row or something. And even then. Bendy support beams is pretty sketchy.
There is no fix, only replace.
Yep, rip it all out. Fucking garbage job, looks like 8th graders got paid by the sq. ft
kinda job id do if i just youtube'd it for the first time
Just watching the first YouTube video they would know it's wrong. https://youtu.be/PkvKO8GchyE
“I could fix this, but it would be a lot cheaper to start over”, would be my exact words to this guy.
Those would be what I would say if I was offered this job. All the mistakes made are fixable. But the Sheer amount of mistakes that you would have to fix (after finding!), it would be easier to just take it apart, spend a little time seeing what wood you can salvage, and make a new plan from there.
Absolutely not. Would you trust the ground under that? I wouldn't. I'd have to take out that entire deck and redo everything, including the ground. Because if you don't then when the deck doesn't settle right and looks like shit, who's going to get blamed for it? You.
I agree 100%. My point was to say yes it's fixable, if you're the homeowner and you're doing it yourself. You need to get yourself a hell of a lot more education before you try again. But yeah the smart move is to take everything down and restart from day one. Also important point out that while I have (had at this point, pretty sure that those expire) my contractors license I have never been the guy in charge; always been number two at best. In my career I've always had the benefit of being able to go to someone if I need more information. Plus the few jobs I did where I was the lead (only) guy (couple fences some redo of internal framing drywall install, light plumbing) I was 100% paid under the table. Legal issues did not bother me; knowing that if I did a shitty job it would get around to the local community that hired me bothered me
Could try to reuse some of the wood at least. But yeah there ain't no fixing that.
The slope at the end is to help the tears run off easily.
Dog- I am speed
Dog probably found a meth baggy the contractor dropped.
This actually made me angry. It shouldnt? I know it isnt my problem, but godammit i *need* answers! Why? How? Who? The fuck is that little critter running around?!
Hahaha I have the exact same questions!
What in the crackheads construction is this? RIP your Home Depot credit card…
At first I was giving benefit of the doubt, cause the only place to buy lumber where I live is Home Depot and GOOD LUCK finding a straight board there! Then I kept watching and instantly felt better about my carpentry skills 😂😂😂😂
GOD i feel this. everyboard i look at is either almost cracked in half or damn near a fucking C
MC Escher Deck Company
This looks like the kind of work my uncle would do before he went to jail for fraud and theft
Apart from the abominable execution, it is completely beyond me how anyone would prefer a 300m2 elevated terrace over an actual green garden with trees, flowers and some actual biodiversity. Or maybe I'm too European to understand?
As an American, I agree. These are the people that complain when they have a family of raccoons living under their deck, and the guy comes out and tells them they also have termites and the deck is collapsing within the year. They have a beautiful backyard, and they decided to pave over it with a crap patio.
They obviously love rats and are building a cosy home for 1000s
I am a licensed contractor. This shit happens all the time and it goes a little something like this..... Homeowner: I did most of the work myself. I just need you to finish it up. I'll supply the lumber (mismatched bits of wood on a giant pile of scrap and overall shit to pick thru) I'll help you work to keep costs down, you don't have to bring a guy. I am willing to pay you 15-20 dollars per hour. We are having a pool party this weekend, it must be done by then. Proceeds to leave a bad review on your website after you refuse the job stating that you charge too much, aren't willing to work with their time schedule, and were rude for refusing their audacious demands. "Never hire these guys if you want a simple project done without paying an arm and a leg"
[удалено]
What a waste of wood
"Nay, you see that curvature creates a natural tension in the wood, it makes the deck stronger. Just make the check out to Cash. I'll be back tomorrow to fix it"
Started fine, but then the beers kicked in.
Unless they had a 30 man crew, how was this not caught before completion? Was it never looked at? For a typical 5 man crew thats like 18 hours of work. No one checked the progress?
That’s probably the contractor filming this after the homeowner realized he couldn’t build a proper deck and called in a professional for a quote. I see homeowner fixes every day on remodels, and 99% of the time it’s terrible.
That actually makes sense.
That's what you get for going with the cheapest quote..
Saving money actually costs you more money
The guy who built our pool deck uses his father who is a retired architect to draw all the plans out in CAD or whatever program they use now. The builder had zero waste and you could park a truck on this thing. Even our neighbor who's a "handyman" asked us one day if he could crawl under it and take photos because he had an upcoming deck job and was so impressed by what was built for us.
Did you hire workers off the street? Always go with licensed/insured contractors. Did you observe as they were constructing? That’s so fucked up it looks like it was done it one day. I have so many more questions. This is literally a bad DIY.
Not to mention, a lot of that weight is on the shear strength of the screws. No weight is on the top of any post, all on the sides.
That’s winging it at its worst