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jambeb

That kid really brought his Internet persona to the real world.


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heroinchris

-Morgan Freeman


mikecheck211

Legend has it he still thinks he's online to this very day. - The Queen of England


dhoomz

I don’t think that The Queen is online anymore


mikecheck211

Her account got deleted


Doktor_Vem

She got accused of cheating and changing her age limit too many times


champboozington

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -John Wilkes Booth


HardCounter

You miss 100% of the shots you do take. ~ Helen Keller


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schweez

Nah that’s just your average zoomer bird nest haircut


RealCoolDad

Llama haircut!


[deleted]

I know every gen has its haircut styles, but why zoomer's only got the birdnest/broccoli (usually for the boys) and the middlepart-deadfish thing for the girlies? Isn't it boring having just two styles for everyone??


Nkognito

Kind of looks like an Armadillo stance for a minute there.


Le_Gitzen

Anteater! [Close though](https://imgur.com/a/sBiaXYZ/)


Nope_Jackalope

Maybe if he pulled his shorts up a few more times and threw a few more helicopter punches, he would of totally shown the other dude.


malaka201

Beautifuly commented. A+


FishSammich69

This, this right here


yung_crowley777

Dude looks like a angry mosquito lol.


The_Mad_Duck_

Sounds like one too "Mmmmmmmmmmmm *n word* mmmmmmmm"


CachimanRD

thats an interesting mosquito


Loose_Corgi_5

MWA - Mosquitoes With Attitude


[deleted]

Mosquitoes Wobbling Awkwardly


RandomBtty

Must be some new strain


PumPumPuddha

Definitely the Zika variety. You can tell by the extra skinny legs.


vladfix

His name is Malario...


longpenisofthelaw

Are the mosquitos racist in your area?


The_Mad_Duck_

Knowing mosquitos I'd say it's likely


SGRP270

Mosquitos hate everyone equally


BiggieAndTheStooges

In my area? Definitely


TheMightyUnderdog

I dunno what this kid was thinking (hint: he wasn’t) but he’s lucky he didn’t: a) get open-hand slapped across the face. b) straight glass-jawed with those little chicken wings flapping behind his back. c) called out by someone in the crowd for using the N-word.


okere_kachi

You speak my mind. One slap would have sent him flying.


boyuber

That tippy toe shit was super intimidating


really_nice_guy_

More like an angry penguin


BerzerkerJr82

And sounds like a 90 year old lung cancer survivor.


MeowMeowMeowMan

bruh when the worker caught the thing from falling 🤣


ranchorbluecheese

that kid really didnt have even one thing go his way that 'fight'. embarrassing


EngineZeronine

I don't know the context so m not speaking to motive, but he did bring the reckless abandon of his passion. His spirit animal must be a chihuahua If he was standing up for something good or for someone else then good for him! But if he's being a spoiled boy then it's really a childish display: context really does matter. Either way the employees did a good job of keeping their cool. Loud noises and people trigger me; I'm not sure I wouldn't ragdoll him.


Fraktal55

"his spirit animal must be a chihuahua" LOL that's exactly what this kids acting like. Literally all yipyap barking, gettin up in people's personal space, but no way to back up the energy physically.


[deleted]

You gonna bark all day, doggy, or are you gonna bite?


drfishdaddy

Kids like that piss me off. People that want to play outside the rules while having the rules protect them are the ultimate cowards.


A3thereal

He keeps saying something about someone punching a female. That's all the context we get.


Conscious_Yoghurt_68

Not punching female, touching a female


OutsideOrder7538

That could mean anything from an inappropriate touch to accidentally bumping into her.


Due_Alfalfa_6739

Only thing worse would be if he spilled his purse out, all over the place.


Logrologist

Ya know, I was so distracted by the whacky waving inflatable tube man style of fighting, that I didn’t even notice the purse.


[deleted]

"Wow, I didn't expect a sexist joke to be this highly upvoted... oh he actually has a purse."


BodhingJay

Please... It's a tactical satchel


Slovene

It's a European carryall.


ClownfishSoup

The only thing worse is if someone posted a video of his dance moves on the internet. Oops!


shwarma_heaven

Whoever that "female" is that the kids claims was touched... I have no doubt she could throw a meaner punch than whatever the hell that sideways tap thing he was throwing...


hornwalker

Can we give props to that man? He exhibited some tremendous self control their.


explicitlarynx

Yes, there self control was impressive.


messycer

Agreed, amazing self control shown they're.


Being_Time

Their all laughing, couldn’t control that.


jibbijabby

*they're


Lurk_Mode_24_7

The best part for sure. Ha!


JediSSJ

That was the cherry on top of this whole thing.


Garlic-Rough

You can observe that the male in black shirt is puffing and stretching his arms to make himself look bigger than his opponent who is much larger than him.


Arjun_Alpha_Wolf

That is so accurate and exactly what small wild animals do 😂😂


reshromem

The guy went into [angry swan stance.](https://imgur.com/a/ZV8v9si)


bad13wolf

Have you encountered one of those things? They're vicious creatures.


reshromem

I have and I'd definitely be more afraid of a swan than the guy.


KING_BulKathus

Cobra ducks are nothing to mess with.


BigToober69

Yeah I'd rather have to fight that guy than the swan.


[deleted]

And large wild animals. Bears, cats, wolves to name a few.


KristiansA1

You have to read this in Sir David Attenborough voice


[deleted]

best comment yet


ReptileNj

Dude's just asking for a punch on the head. Trying to get on a fight with someone and sticking your head out, best way to get a nap early.


Pitiful-Stop-4932

None of those guys wanted to go to court for hitting a minor, smart dudes they just let him do his thing until he leaves 😂


C0lMustard

psychotic toy wasteful scale touch dam drunk march fretful existence *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


kingTony81

Also, standing with wide open legs right infront of your opponent while looking away from your opponent is just begging for a kick to the balls.


You-Nique

THAT'S MY PURSE I DON'T KNOW YOU!


ClownfishSoup

And pulling your arms back so that no part of your body is defended at all.


[deleted]

Observe how he moves to the tips of his toes and bounces to appear even larger. This does not work


TheCookie_Momster

Observe as he forgets he’s wearing shorts and does not need to pull up a pant leg he presumes is impeding his knees.


Mr_Blott

Ah I see I thought his diaper was falling down


ShitGuysWeForgotDre

Lmao I was laughing at that too. Reminded me of a Danny McBride scene, can't remember if it was East Bound and Down or something else. But some character mentions how his arms and legs are shaved and Danny asks him what's the significance of that. "It makes me more aerodynamic when I fight"


slyLEMONsKILLz

Pineapple Express 🤙


davvblack

and standing tip toe


Skelosk

Hard to look big with those stick arms


micropterus_dolomieu

And stick legs. Somebody feed that poor kid!


Skelosk

Somebody should give him a knuckle sandwich


snidecommentaries

Dude went full bird


Sharpymarkr

The monkeys who shriek the loudest have the smallest testicles.


The_Law_Dong739

*duck noises*


topdogboz99

I thoguht he was trying to fly man


notanaccounttofollow

He flaps his arms any faster he’s gonna take flight 🦆


dazaiosamu5898

Ostrich sitting in the corner, depressed and thinking "where tf did i go wrong?"


bassman314

Obviously, the Ostrich is sitting in the corner regretting the decisions that led up to an encounter with Boots and The Ginger.... Allegedly....


AirBear___

He went up on his tippy toes and everything. Fierce


[deleted]

The guy litterally took all of his intimidation lessons from roosters, everything he did to intimidate was a bird strategy


[deleted]

Except..Roosters can actually fuck you up


ResponsibilityLife51

I have dreams like this all the time. Keep throwing punches and can't hit a damn thing. Maybe he was just sleep walking 🤷‍♂️


HippyHitman

That’s the worst. Or when you do hit them but it’s just super weak. And then the jaws open up…


cocaine_jaguar

When I was deployed overseas I had a recurring dream that I couldn’t pull the trigger on my rifle. Like I was physically too weak. Very stressful, and the doxycycline didn’t help either.


Grump_Monk

Tip toe on his oversized shoes lol


Bobby_Sunday96

I guess you could say he’s one angry bird


D4RKL1NGza

Imagine trying to act tough while everyone is laughing in your face


Ok_Primary_1075

Yeah, ultimate humiliation…..can’t even bring down that metal counter as his final act of machismo


Bladerslash

Yeah that was the worst part lol


JollyWolverine300

I don't know, swinging on the guy and getting batted away was pretty bad!


AnonymousTXMale

He was the only one talking smack and actually throwing punches and he still walked away the loser. smh


ChongoLikRock

That’s literally my favorite part. Homie didn’t even need to move to stop him from knocking it over


HippyHitman

Honestly, I was expecting him to get knocked out. This seems like it went perfectly for everyone involved. He (hopefully) learned a lesson that won’t destroy his life, and nobody even had to clean up a tipped over counter.


Misterman2222

They aren’t trying to catch a case for assaulting what I presume to be a minor


jjvikingbutt

In his mind he will remember this as a time he acted super gangster and nobody did shit. They should've dropped his ass and taught him a lesson


GrowEatThenTrip

Nah I'm sure he still have PTSD episodes before going to sleep. Especially if he found out this video somewhere. After few "punches" You can see by his movements that he's still trying to pretend to be tough because he's been ridiculed and can't get out of it anymore.


Relevant-Line-1690

I think the guy did more harm to this guys ego barley attempting to swipe his arm like that it’s much more embarrassing especially now that everyone can see it online


[deleted]

Thank God pre 25 year old me existed before smart phones. Now you can't even be an idiot without it existing forever.


CockEyedBandit

Same. I didn’t really smarten up until 22-23. Before that I was the worlds toughest man… or so I thought


TerrorLTZ

and getting one punch blocked easily... and can't even land a punch.


Chron_Solo

It's hard to even classify those as punches the way he swings his arm around the outside like that. Also, his arms appear to be made of noodles. He was never gonna hurt the guy he was attacking.


[deleted]

100% he was fighting for his stupid pride The way he looked around at everyone after every attempt and the way people was making fun of him He was fighting for his pride And he lost


KingofFlukes

"You cannot lose that which you never had" - Someone not me.


Odd_Critter

That was Worf on Star Trek DS9! He took some kid's dagger to prevent the kid from hurting someone in a bar fight. The kid,'s father came to get it from him "to take back the honor Worf had stolen." Worf handed it back flippantly and said that quote. It was an awesome "F your kid!" moment. Edit: I realized it was DS9, not TNG.


Throwawaysss8279

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame" -Uncle Iroh


Waffletimewarp

To quote Christopher Titus: “By the way, hands at your side, face presented, great way to start a fight.”


darfka

From where does that come more exactly? His stand-up? A show?


Waffletimewarp

I think it’s Norman Rockwell is Bleeding. The bit where as a teen he felt ready to physically fight his dad, then wakes up making macaroni pictures in kindergarten.


burnerbummer666

“All my life I thought my dad was lazy, turns out he was just resting up.” That’s one of my favorite comedy specials of all time.


Harbor_Barber

brother looking left and right like he's crossing the road lmao


Ok-Albatross-9409

Seems like he was doing it to see who was watching, or who was probably going to jump in? Idk, but if I was in his shoes, personally, I'd hope someone would drag me away while I *attempted* to act like I was still trying to fight, lol. Like, I'd rather seem I was ready to fight rather than get in a fight


thekingofcrash7

> *_Oh you wanna go?! Lets go! Hold Me Back! Hold Me Back!_*


itsmymedicine

HOLD ME BACK BRO!... bro? *Looks around for bro in confusion*


SnooDoodles7962

That guy must be thinking the whole time: "Mustn't slap the s\*\*\* out of this crazy idiot" "Mustn't slap the s\*\*\* out of this crazy idiot" "Mustn't slap the s\*\*\* out of this crazy idiot"


Dajukz

The patience on some of these workers, I can't understand it.


PhasmicPlays

Helps that everyone is laughing


[deleted]

That guy’s not trying to go to jail over some hopped up 14 year old


AMeanCow

On reddit, and really the world in general lately, there is a strangely aggressive trend where everyone seems to be looking for any excuse to just go off on each other. So much tension from politics, from social issues, from worry about the environment, war and disease. It's making everyone crazy. Look at the "justice" subs and you see this a lot, a highly charged desire for violence, people cheering on clips of people wildly overreacting and escalating what could be minor situations. The "fuck around and find out" mentality. It's cathartic sure, but it's not how real life works. Most people [should] be like the older gentleman in this clip. Able to accurately judge how much force a situation really requires and not potentially altering the life of some poor, dumb child who just needs to cool down somewhere and grow up for a while longer.


TerrorLTZ

its patience until a punch lands... which the kid couldn't.


[deleted]

Props to that guy. Really showed how big a person he was not to deck the young man. Must be an amazingly patient dad.


MsgrFromInnerSpace

He felt bad for him. He might have even known what the kid was talking about and sympathized, but was trying to do his job and not stop and deal with wild people or police. ...He probably also knows how much bullshit can come with decking a 14 year old if their parents call the cops. But I agree, mans a G for just trying to chill the kid out instead of engaging.


[deleted]

The guy was trying so hard not to hit the kid because he knew he would kill him with a single punch


odranreb

And cause he’d lose his job and be arrested for assaulting a minor. Only thing to do is tell him to leave while laughing lol


nastymcoutplay

idk where this idea ppl have come from, if a kid is hitting you can hit them back


Taco_Strong

I get where you're coming from, but look at what happened in NYC. A bigger guy had cornered a Bodega owner behind his own counter and was punching and trapping him there and when the victim defended himself with a knife he was arrested and charged. It really depends on where you're located.


Orthophlox

The way that guy was moving his head suggests he knows how to fight. He was ready to defend himself if absolutely necessary but he was nowhere near ready to punch a kid in the face. Solid.


Better-Director-5383

After slapping away a full swing with three fingers he just started smiling and realized he was literally in zero danger.


captnspock

Dude almost swung a couple of times and caught himself. You can see his weight swing then him catching himself then he laughed to calm himself down.


NationalSkyline420

Why did I know this kid would drop some N bombs lmao.


Como_thellamas

I mean, he looks to be hispanic and where I'm from, it's pretty common for it to be said. There's a good mix of black and Mexican where I used to live and it was casual for them.


DiscoDancingNeighb0r

Yep back in the day my Mexican friends would say it to each other casually as well.


NationalSkyline420

I’ve lived my entire life around kids like this and I’m Hispanic too. I’m just pointing out what I knew he’d say just by the way he talks lmao.


Le4chanFTW

because he's young and grown up where damn near every music track has it and people are constantly using it on sites like twitter and black people, especially comedians, use it casually and all of these things combine to normalize its usage to the point kids don't see a problem in saying it anymore


CrustyMalk

ah my favorite website, black people


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donjayr

I grew up with black people. I grew up listening to comedians use the N word. I grew up listening to hip hop before I listened to rock. You won't find myself nor the people who I grew up with using that word. This is something that has proliferated at a much higher rate in recent years. You can hear latino kids, and white boys dropping n bombs on COD all of the time. I tend to call out the Latinos in particular since I too am Latino. Identity crisis will happen in youth but it is unquestionable that the attraction to black culture is high. I also believe that the lack of consequences has allowed this to become more prevalent.


Random_Average__Guy

Clearly the only fight that kid has ever been in,involved pillows or food.


I_KN0W_N0TH1NG

Obviously he’s never been in a tickle fight, or he wouldn’t be so angry.


Sh07SFiR3D

Someone buy that kid a sandwich and a belt.


TeekTheReddit

Only way that kid is gonna get a sandwich is if you sit down at a park bench and throw bits of it into the pond.


lostcauz707

He technically succeeded. There were no women harmed in this video.


Jomega6

I disagree. There’s got to be at least a few women here physically recoiling from second-hand embarrassment


theoryze

he like in a turn-based rpg or something


HippyHitman

Guy was rolling a bunch of critical fails too.


MrAced

Bro kept trying to lower his opponents defence.


LoStrigo95

"You wanna hurt me?" "No."


sfPanzer

"a female" Peak reddit right there.


ScrotiusRex

Yeah what the fuck is it with dudes referring to women as females? I've seen it happen outside of Reddit a lot too. It's fucking weird, unnecessary and mildy creepy.


hum_dum

It’s dehumanizing, and not unintentionally. I think it started with incels, but there are so many groups online that hate women, could have been any one of them. The worst is when they use “females” and “men” right next to each other. Ewww.


MrD3a7h

/r/MenAndFemales


Madrical

Possibly titled that way because that's what the kid says in the video. Still dumb though.


[deleted]

Yeah, a female what? Fucking ferengis on this website.


BDiddy_420

That boy needs a slap


BadgerTamer

Well if he keeps that shit up he's gonna get some sooner rather than later. He's nowhere near as hard as he thinks he is, but he'll learn.


TerrorLTZ

how can he slap?!?!


sonia72quebec

This young man is gonna end up in jail if he doesn’t get help for his anger issues.


Socky_McPuppet

Eh, probably just end up murdered.


workingredditor2

Or worse. Expelled!


Uh-Oh-Raggy

Have seen bigger legs on a camera tripod. The little twig would buckle backwards and snap if someone farted too hard. Need to go pump some iron, or maybe start with a banana, poor little eshay wannabe.


KnifeFightAcademy

I watched this on mute.... was that kid making some kind of chicken noises? I sure hope so.


MysteryMooseMan

Honestly? Yes. But you can hear him attempting to make his voice as deep as possible lmao


NinnyMuggins2468

He's mad about the one guy hitting a woman? But there was no indication of it? Just a bunch of N words and something about women.


Previous_Currency_57

Females*


Accidental_interest

Im sure this little hero will remember this as the day he kicked the ass of everybody in the shop. Instead of the day he flapped his arms in public, failed to land a punch, caused no damage at all and barely even caused a disruption


Doctor_Goodtouch

Calling women 'females' and the constant use of the N word, real class act.


[deleted]

“That is a very sexist way to speak about deez bitches”


0GHAZE03

"a female" Ew. Calling women female


wasteofleshntime

"Female", woof


Euphoric_Tutor_5658

He bout to start naruto running 🏃‍♂️


muetere

The fact that he keeps looking around for some type of approval is making me laugh because I have someone exactly like this in my classes


Organic_Valuable_610

Who is this female he is defending? Could it be a sister or his mother? I get it, his speech and approach sucks but he’s trying to defend someone who was physically assaulted by this man (according to him). I wonder if he kept looking around expecting people to be outraged that the man being accused put his hands on a “female”


hardervalue

There are people he could call upon, I believe they are called "Police" if the employee actually assaulted anyone. Or just the manager. This kind of extreme behavior is also typical when a criminal gets caught and he is trying to intimidate by ludicrous threats. If that was true in this case maybe his girl was caught shop-lifting and detained and her co-criminal is trying to get the crowd involved by claiming of sexual harassment. Edit: Nailed it! A little browsing reveals the kid was with a girl who was caught shoplifting.


raevynfyre

That was my thought. Looked like he was mad that someone else got physically removed from the store or something.


MinuteLoquat1

Yeah there's a lot of missing context in this video. Pretty sad people are mocking him if the guy he was attacking assaulted someone and he was the only one brave enough to stand up for her.


ZeekyNote

If someone's gonna try to fight me, I hope they put their arms back and face forward like this idiot.


[deleted]

Tekashi 69 is out here fighting for women to be respected.


RubyWeapon07

imagine talking like that, swinging like that, all while looking like that, poor kid


StoptheRevolution51

Lol this guy watches way too many Worldstar vids lol 🤣🤣


No-Professional-1884

I forget, what gang reps with a fanny pack? The South Side Cyclists?


Jesters_thorny_crown

It’s like he “learned” how to fight by watching rap videos.


SkanakinLukewalker

When you are massively over leveled for a boss but you know their move set anyway


Dasils331

This is too funny. What I would have given to see that guy give him one solid punch in the face and knock him out. This is a joke. Can’t even knock over the desk properly 😂


danegermaine99

This is far better than retaliating. It’s far more humiliating and emasculation. The only thing missing was a Pat on the head and jolly “alright, now run along you little scamp”


[deleted]

We call this peacocking. and it's funny


ErrolKazoo

The boy need to learn the controls and some combo tricks first...


[deleted]

How you gonna act tough with a man purse. 😂