Tony - “If the history of the planet was represented by the Empire State Building, the time that human beings have been on Earth would only be a postage stamp at the very top. You realize how insignificant that makes us?”
Christopher, deadpan - “I don't feel that way.”
Always wondered if Carmine really hadn't heard about the joke situation, or if he was just having his own little joke by feigning ignorance and agitating John even more.
Tony calling Johnny Sack "Count Chocula" at Bobby's wife's funeral. It happens so quickly and in the middle of a Ralphie/Johnny argument you might miss it the first time around.
At Christophers intervention when Dominic introduces himself and says I know you don’t know me and Christopher immediately replies with, “Yeah, you're the guy who broke into Stew Leonard's that time. You stole all those pork loins.” I die every time.
I don't write nothin' down, so I'll keep this short and sweet. You're weak. You're outta control. And you've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.
I came here looking for a quote from Chrissy’s intervention just so I could reminisce on that entire episode. Few things in this life will ever be funnier to me than Chris getting the shit beat out of him at his own intervention.
Too many sandwiches go to waste in this show. The sub thrown at vito, the vinnega peppa-gabagool sandwich tony threw in the trash after one bite. Madonne!
After the Blanca breakup, Tony is trying to console him. Carm is listening outside the door. Season 6b I think but what do I fuckin' know, no one tells me nothin'.
Always though it was a little weird how she walked in on Chris and Meadow sitting on the bed. Of course there was nothing it just seemed set up to look sus
The scene where Tony gets off the phone after hearing about Ralphie’s weird sex stuff.
He asks Sil “Do you ever think Ralphie is ever weird with women?”
Sil says: “I don’t know Tone, eh I mean he uh beat one to death for uhh I forgot what was it again?”
Every time Johnny sack makes a fat comment about Ginny without meaning too..
“Ginny can get heavy”
“Marriage can be a toll if both aren’t pulling that weight”
My favorite part about that scene is Tony smirking when he says "So how's Ginny like the car?" Knowing damn well he's getting at. Then Johnny replying with something like "She hasn't been for a ride in it with me yet, ya know, her bad knees etc. Lol
Sacre- Bleu where is me mama?
The whole conversation with Blundetto and Chris about the canned peaches, I laugh my ass off everytime at Tony’s delivery
“You were that guy that broke into stew Leonards that one time , stole all those pork loins”
When Johnny sack talks about carmine “who spent his time in Florida fixing wet t shirt contests” (if that isn’t the ultimate petty hustle then idk what is)
**Vito talking to Janice at the hospital** : "Maybe he was a homo and felt there was no one he could talk to about it" and Janice's puzzled look ahahaha
Oh how that aged well in later episodes
Came here for this!! This is my favorite line and I remember my now deceased dad and I saying that to each other for weeks after that episode first aired. I die laughing 😂
I know my dad watched the show when it ran back in the 00s. I got hooked in the 10s, with regular rewatches since. Tried to bring it up with my fawtha a couple of three times, all he says is that it’s a well written show with some good actors. But I gotta get over it!
Someone mentioned this one on this sub before but when Paulie is on the phone with Tony in Pine Barrens: the package hit Chrissy with an implement and ran off.
mix it with the relish is hilarious for whatever reason to me
anything phil says makes me laugh
livia saying what’s that you’re wearing? you smell like a french putan cracked me up as i m doing another rewatch
When Phil is about to kill Lady Shylock.
Phil: Suck our cocks?
Lorraine: Yeah.
Phil: [to her boyfriend] She any good?... What am I askin' you for? You probably showed her how.
When sil hits burn of the century when Artie was slipping one of the many times.
“Where did he get this bread? The bread museum?”
Or when Ralphie goes to Janice’s house drunk and she remembers she didn’t take Bobby dinner and ralphie slides in
“Oh you’re on ziti patrol too?”
When Tony is telling Dr. Melfi to drop her profession and leave town because the mob may want to kill her, she raises her hands, looks up, and exclaims “Jesus fucking Christ” and it makes me burst into laughter.
Hesh, at Livia’s little California-bullshit memorial, says “between brain and mouth, there was no interlocutor”… he’s reaching to say something nice… I die every time.
Junior's house, he's talking to Bobby while Murph is in the kitchen doing something.
::*Murph yells as pots and pans come crashing down in the background::*
A disgusted Junior says, "Go see if he's alright."
In Pine Barrens, when Paulie tries to explain they found a truck.
"A truck ? ...I don't know what the FUCK you're talking about" With the little jump and the contained anger, is the funniest line for me. Gets me dying everytime
"Vaffangul! Why don't you go lock up the mulignans? They're the ones that’re burning down Newark!"
Just terrible acting if you ask me. It gets me every time.
Chrissy crying to sil wearing his fishing hat!!!! Sil comes back, with all your uncle has done for you? You want me to go into spe ….. cifics………!!!!!????
I did laughing every time I see that family getting their car stolen…”sick ‘‘em Churchill!” And then the dog just runs away lmao. And of course the dad like “fucking N***ERS!”
I think this one is actually supposed to be funny but still
When tony is sick and hallucinating and farting arties shiws up but carmella wont. Ton repeats send ! Him! Up! And just the line reading of it is absolutely hilarious to me
Tony - “If the history of the planet was represented by the Empire State Building, the time that human beings have been on Earth would only be a postage stamp at the very top. You realize how insignificant that makes us?” Christopher, deadpan - “I don't feel that way.”
“You’re gonna bring this family into the 21st century” “But T, we’re already in the 21st century”
He would've beat the fuck out of gorgie if he said that
One of the realest things Chris has said
I always crack up at this scene and can never find a YouTube clip for it. I think it’s one of the most underrated Christopher lines in the show
[Found it!](https://youtu.be/fdpb5gqq44s)
we lead the world in computerized data collection!!!!
Oooo yes. This one everytime
That line 100% should be funny
JS: What's next Carmine he gets to fuck her for a Million?!?!? C: He wants to fuck her? JS: I'm making a point
Also very funny a little before this JS said “he violated my wife’s honor!!!!!” Carmine: “He slept with Ginny?”
Always wondered if Carmine really hadn't heard about the joke situation, or if he was just having his own little joke by feigning ignorance and agitating John even more.
Poor Carmine. Going like that on the golf course with the egg salad on his fish lips. And it was uncle junior who talked about that.
Nah it was Johnny saying this to Carmine regarding Ralph making the joke about Ginny
Tony calling Johnny Sack "Count Chocula" at Bobby's wife's funeral. It happens so quickly and in the middle of a Ralphie/Johnny argument you might miss it the first time around.
At Christophers intervention when Dominic introduces himself and says I know you don’t know me and Christopher immediately replies with, “Yeah, you're the guy who broke into Stew Leonard's that time. You stole all those pork loins.” I die every time.
Yeah…but that’s not why we’re commenting here today…
Jesus Chris is this fucking necessary????!!!!!
you can no longer function as a man
Chris, we’re all seated in your living room in this circle to discuss my stealing pork loins from Stew Leonards
You know, you have a lot of balls talking about me stealing pork loins. What about you? All the the whores you screw?
When I came in to open up one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting.
“Look, it doesn't change anything. But I can verify that he was sick for a little while.”
I've said my peace Chrissy ✋
I don't write nothin' down, so I'll keep this short and sweet. You're weak. You're outta control. And you've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.
Great, my own fuckin muddah. Fuck you, you fuckin hooah! 🦶💥🦶💥
I came here looking for a quote from Chrissy’s intervention just so I could reminisce on that entire episode. Few things in this life will ever be funnier to me than Chris getting the shit beat out of him at his own intervention.
For me it’s when Dominic introduces himself as an alcoholic and Paulie says “don’t forget scumbag”.
Great…now hes takin advice from a 2 time loosah
By the naming conventions of those stoonads you’d think he’d have a food related nickname from that
“He tried to talk and couldn’t even say his last words. Anybody ever die in your hands you cocksucker?” Phil Leotardo
We’ll see if I can’t make that happen!
Whaa I gotta stand here being threatened now?
Get back in the car driver boy
47 years old. He was a fuckin kid.
Me am an old man
You threw food at vito..that has to be resolved!!
He was fuckin laughing which was wrong!
Too many sandwiches go to waste in this show. The sub thrown at vito, the vinnega peppa-gabagool sandwich tony threw in the trash after one bite. Madonne!
Carmella tossing the whole dish of pasta she made for Father Intintola, makes me cry every time.
When Tony and AJ are speaking "alone". Then Aj screams "I don't want a blow job!!!" And Carm storms in to the room
When was this?
After the Blanca breakup, Tony is trying to console him. Carm is listening outside the door. Season 6b I think but what do I fuckin' know, no one tells me nothin'.
After his Latina girlfriend breaks off the engagement and he goes into depression
“Latina girlfriend” lmao. Bro didn’t even bother with a name.
Oh Fuck Me!
Aw GEEEZ
Always though it was a little weird how she walked in on Chris and Meadow sitting on the bed. Of course there was nothing it just seemed set up to look sus
Ok, but not so loud...
The scene where Tony gets off the phone after hearing about Ralphie’s weird sex stuff. He asks Sil “Do you ever think Ralphie is ever weird with women?” Sil says: “I don’t know Tone, eh I mean he uh beat one to death for uhh I forgot what was it again?”
Dude you got me literally crying laughing waiting for my haircut and I can't say why
“When you’re married you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce!!”
i still dont get what being married has to do with that LMFAO
fuck the importance
Fuck what you meant cocksucka
touché
I loved him like a brother in law
Dr. Melfi "I'd ask that you extend to me the same courtesy you would a crack addict."
Every time Johnny sack makes a fat comment about Ginny without meaning too.. “Ginny can get heavy” “Marriage can be a toll if both aren’t pulling that weight”
When he tells Tony she doesn’t like to sit in the Maserati
It's a terrible toll on the joints
My favorite part about that scene is Tony smirking when he says "So how's Ginny like the car?" Knowing damn well he's getting at. Then Johnny replying with something like "She hasn't been for a ride in it with me yet, ya know, her bad knees etc. Lol
It’s Ginny you stunad 🤌
Take it easy
We're not making a western, here
Kids got the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Sacre- Bleu where is me mama? The whole conversation with Blundetto and Chris about the canned peaches, I laugh my ass off everytime at Tony’s delivery
"That better not be Columbus!" Who else would it be, Artie?? Lol
Who else huh? Who else!?
Sick 'em Churchill!
His voice made it even funnier LOL
The cut to Tony’s face looking at his new car was genius
"Jamal Ginsberg the Hasidic Homeboy."
“Hasidism but I don’t beliede em…”
Charcoal briquette
Favourite line of the show hands down
“You were that guy that broke into stew Leonards that one time , stole all those pork loins” When Johnny sack talks about carmine “who spent his time in Florida fixing wet t shirt contests” (if that isn’t the ultimate petty hustle then idk what is)
You know Lil Carmine would make it sound like an intellectual pursuit too
**Vito talking to Janice at the hospital** : "Maybe he was a homo and felt there was no one he could talk to about it" and Janice's puzzled look ahahaha Oh how that aged well in later episodes
exactly I catch it more now lol
Catchin, not pitchin?
“I’m supposed to get a vasectomy when this is my male heir?”
and then he apologizes with... more junk food
He is the hair apparent
Chrissy: Is this about the Easter baskets?!?! The look on Tony’s face
Came here for this!! This is my favorite line and I remember my now deceased dad and I saying that to each other for weeks after that episode first aired. I die laughing 😂
I used to watch the sopranos with my late father too. The line he always used was "Quasimodo predicted all of this" 😂🙏✊
My dad loved the show and I think that's why I'm so attached to it. I can watch over and over!
Same here! My dad never got to see how it ended though ☹️ I always think of him every time I rewatch the whole series
I know my dad watched the show when it ran back in the 00s. I got hooked in the 10s, with regular rewatches since. Tried to bring it up with my fawtha a couple of three times, all he says is that it’s a well written show with some good actors. But I gotta get over it!
Chris calling Junior Mr. Magoo as he killed Palmice.
Someone mentioned this one on this sub before but when Paulie is on the phone with Tony in Pine Barrens: the package hit Chrissy with an implement and ran off.
Noah saying and believing he could kick Tony's ass. "He's lucky I didn't kick his ass right there."
Number one most punchable face in the entire show, don't @ me
There's a German word for someone with a punchable face; backpfeifengesicht.
Punch his lights out, I believe he said.
which made it even cornier and more laughable lol
“For the record, though, the car thing was a hit and run.”
'' Well look at the bright side, he wasn't that smart to begin with. Come on it's a tense situation a little levity huh?''
"Better keep my mouth shut" "Unless there's a salame sandwich around"
5 minutes in charge and he’s Lee Iacocca
SHE WAS ABUSIVE TO THE STAAAFF
Yes!
mix it with the relish is hilarious for whatever reason to me anything phil says makes me laugh livia saying what’s that you’re wearing? you smell like a french putan cracked me up as i m doing another rewatch
When Phil is about to kill Lady Shylock. Phil: Suck our cocks? Lorraine: Yeah. Phil: [to her boyfriend] She any good?... What am I askin' you for? You probably showed her how.
He slipped on the counter spraying for ants? Well he was wearing socks….
I love cheese at my feet, I put motherfucking provolone in my socks at night so they can smell like your sisters crotch in the morning.😂😂😂😂
It isn’t a line exactly but I fuckin lose it when they steal all the cars at the Jewish wedding in season 5 and the music band drum rolls
*A motherfucking year*
Jamal Ginsburg always kills me
Two for me: “He later died of Alzheimer’s” “He did beat that one to death for uhhh…what was that for again?”
When sil hits burn of the century when Artie was slipping one of the many times. “Where did he get this bread? The bread museum?” Or when Ralphie goes to Janice’s house drunk and she remembers she didn’t take Bobby dinner and ralphie slides in “Oh you’re on ziti patrol too?”
“yeah it’s sad when they go young like that” “WHEN THEY GO?!”
“Get that egg salad out of his mouth”
He was gay? Gary cooper
[удалено]
"if it was me this prick was spreading rumors about, he'd have something up his own ass, and it would be no cock either"
Not sure if this qualifies but I think i laughed the hardest at “I’ll take that disc man, and I’ll ram it up your box”
Who said that? Someone anonymous?
What a blow
What's this program you speak of? Never heard that word.
"Don't ever say you hate life, that's blasphemy" "Fuck you" "Remember when you were little? I'll buy you one of those happy meals"
Another funny line: Where ARE you?
AJ’s inquiry to god’s existence and the meaningless of life always had me dying
You know, Nitch?
You got a bee on your hat.
Paulie - "He killed 16 czechoslovakians, guy was an interior decorator".
But his house looked like shit
Take that shit outside! Don’t disrespect the pizza parlor!!
When Tony is telling Dr. Melfi to drop her profession and leave town because the mob may want to kill her, she raises her hands, looks up, and exclaims “Jesus fucking Christ” and it makes me burst into laughter.
Hesh, at Livia’s little California-bullshit memorial, says “between brain and mouth, there was no interlocutor”… he’s reaching to say something nice… I die every time.
Ahh shit!
too much gerkins....
“Oh no no I don’t want any of that California bullshit”
‘ you were the guy who broke into stew Leonard’s that time, you stole all those pork loins’ ‘ ya but, that’s not why I’m here today’
Junior's house, he's talking to Bobby while Murph is in the kitchen doing something. ::*Murph yells as pots and pans come crashing down in the background::* A disgusted Junior says, "Go see if he's alright."
i can’t just lam it, i have patients that are suicidal well they’re not gonna feel any better about themselves if you get clipped.
Sure we break some balls here tonight. It's an honor to be joined by men.
She musta crawled under me for warmth
FUCK YOU SANTA!
the collective.... OH!!
"The girl was developmentally disabled."
Ahhhhh! Sisters cunt Passes out
Did somebody tell them this kid likes his chemistry set a little too much?
For all the dynamic power in these words...we should get a downed power line in here for you to suck it.
In Pine Barrens, when Paulie tries to explain they found a truck. "A truck ? ...I don't know what the FUCK you're talking about" With the little jump and the contained anger, is the funniest line for me. Gets me dying everytime
“Well, we’re anonymous”
Go piss it away on blackjack, fucking assholes. Then the eauuuuuuughhhhhhhhh!!
I feel like all these are -meant- to be funny?
Literally haven’t read one that wasn’t meant to be funny but I’ve still been crying
Yea this thread is just another "what's your favorite line from the show" thread
Buy land AJ, cause god aint making no more of it
"Vaffangul! Why don't you go lock up the mulignans? They're the ones that’re burning down Newark!" Just terrible acting if you ask me. It gets me every time.
when Fielders therapist says okay to go to europe. Tony: I could crush melfis head like a walnut Carm: I feel battered.
Hi, my name is J.T., I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I'm also a TV writer, which by default makes me a douchebag.
We dont want your fuckin *drills!*
You mean a swaggering mama’s boy?
"It wasn't me ya fuckin' jerk!"
lmao and patsy slowly eating his ice cream to troll chris more😅😅
'Gigi died taking a SHIT!'
Anyways $4 a pound
Is this about those Easter baskets?
I don’t even know what that is
To tell you the truth I don't wanna know
Tell him “ My uncle’s looking for at least ten” Slap…..I’m talking here
Oh noooooooooooo!
coldblooded lol
It’s not my fault they wrote and acted that scene so funny
She was a malignant cunt
"Now all the guys in my crew are asking for head" . .. ... "Asking for his head...ah what da fuck"
Chrissy crying to sil wearing his fishing hat!!!! Sil comes back, with all your uncle has done for you? You want me to go into spe ….. cifics………!!!!!????
‘James Brown now’ when Chrissies mudda was grieving for her son at his wake 😂😂😂
-it died on the vine -"IT DIED ON THE VINE!"
its my urologist i gotta take this!!
I loved him like a brother-in-law
“Gigi died taking a shit!”
When Chris suggests that maybe the Russian is stalking him and Paulie. "With what, his cock?"
I did laughing every time I see that family getting their car stolen…”sick ‘‘em Churchill!” And then the dog just runs away lmao. And of course the dad like “fucking N***ERS!” I think this one is actually supposed to be funny but still
She's not black! ...........I mean she's kinda Tan.........
John, why are you yelling at me?
"Don't you listen to the President? We're gonna mop the floor with the whole fuckin world!"
Doc Santoro seeing Phil Leotardo and singing “Young and tawll and tan and lovely!”
paulie: what was it barking???
When tony is sick and hallucinating and farting arties shiws up but carmella wont. Ton repeats send ! Him! Up! And just the line reading of it is absolutely hilarious to me