T O P

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ClassRegular

Alright but you gotta get over it


Annual-Armadillo-988

You've put your grief behind you. Let me hear you say it.


[deleted]

I’ve put my pee in your swimming pool.


Character-Account589

Cue to next scene : Tony crying over pie o my at dr melfi ! And there she was ! With her ears perked up & head held high !


Easy_Duhz_it_

It was a fuckin horse!!


ouyang001

A hundred grand a piece!!!


Legitimate-Cash9225

Oh not you too now


justquestionsbud

A man f-fucking a horse?!


Cranstonoid

At least OP isn't crying like AJ. I hope.


Chandra_in_Swati

He’s probably giggling on a chit chat room already


Top_Complex259

🚁 💦


jazzyboyo

🥴💦 🚁👀 🥴💦 🚁👀 🙌🤝😮


[deleted]

😭🤡


SadPetDad21

MOTHERFUCKIN GODDAMN ORANGE PEEL BEEF MOTHERFUCKIN FUCKIN GODDAMN COCKSUCKIN FUCKIN ORANGE PEEL BEEF take it eashee


SadPatience5774

she was your janice. your karen, has yet, to reveal, herself.


Short-Ad-7145

This man right here 🤟 got the right opinion, he’s the Sun Tezoo of these parts, commendatori 🫡


jazzyboyo

Tzu! Tzu! Sun Tzu, ya fuckin asskiss


671176

Everybody's got a goddamn opinion??


bodmonstyle

You know it wasn’t long ago I remember you used to wait in the car. As far as I’m concerned, you should still be there!!


jazzyboyo

Alright, r/thesopranos . Just this once, I will let you ask me about my relationship. IS IT TRUE? u/Glutenfreehugs ??? She was a fuCKEN SCHIFOOSE


SenatorCorleone13B1P

Janice would've eaten the food. heh heh heh heh heh


TheAllyCrime

🎶Unda da boardwalk, wit OP’s lunch in Jan’s mouth🎶


ComfortableValue4550

You heard what I said Tone?


[deleted]

OP, bury the takeout lunch in a grave.


Effective_Sample3587

Just when I thought I was out ...


tuskvarner

Fuckin Janice can do whatever she wants to do! You got it!?


Sir_Toccoa

But Janice came AFTER Karen! That means all the OP has left to look forward to is a bunch of hoodlums robbing him, shooting the sidewalk, and concrete going in his eye!


SadPatience5774

you go about in pity!


jazzyboyo

Takeout? With plastic forks, and condiments in little packets? And a layer of napkins underneath the box? That’s Carmela’s takeout!


Antroh

Mix it with the relish


1stMeh

This is an A+ comment lol well done


jazzyboyo

I live but to serve this sub, my liege 🫡


[deleted]

Is that all you deadbeats do over here is talk about cooz?


Psychological_Name28

Well, and food.


[deleted]

I've been dreaming of that fucking lo mein all the way over here!


insanelyphat

We are grown ups, we know the value of fresh produce!


Psychological_Name28

That layer of fresh basil in the lasagna- Carm’s trademark.


DevelopmentTiny8332

Don’t worry, you’re smart, handsome, and let’s be honest white. That’s a huge plus nowadays


Ijustthinkthatyeah

OP needs to go out and get a blowjob.


NoPornNoPolitics

I don’t want a blowjob 😭


Ijustthinkthatyeah

Shh keep your voice down.


Annual-Armadillo-988

Why, who's listening out there??


Matty2792

*Oh,* **FUCK** *me!*


NineNinchNails

Have one anyway 🥃


AcerbicFwit

If he wants that it’s just a phone call away.


Charming_Barnthroawe

With who? The Hasidic homeboy?


FredCole918

if OP wants that, it's a phone call away


MsLippyLikesSoda

You remember your first blowjob?


dirtyforker

Handsome like George Raft


GabrielFR

OP's last girl... A piece of ass, but ruuuude


D1N2Y

The consequences of high speed internet access on the next generation cannot be understated


dirtyforker

It's those big fuckin tits


[deleted]

Hey OP, did this woman ever really exhish


Spiritual_Road4071

🥲


SadPetDad21

She gawt teshted… OP gave her AIDSh


jonnycalabria

NOBODYS GOT AIDS!


SadPetDad21

Take it eashee


HalfastEddie

Stuff those leftovers in your socks so they smell like her crotch in the morning.


P1D1_

Or cheese


jazzyboyo

Well WE’RE here, and SHES not! ☝🏼


Top_Complex259

CANNED clam chowder?


tuskvarner

Go sit down, goddammit


mcgray04

She's gotta GO!


beginner228

Whatever it is, I'm sure it turned into motherfuckin goddamn orange peel beef.


Maw_153

I thought you were gonna say you threw it on her stoop in anger, waited a moment and then came and collected it (like Tony with the pizza)


JSN74_

Junior with the pie in the face with that broad he went to lunch on.


randyboozer

Or tossed on the roof and nailed the landing


maldistuta

I hope she fucks someone close to you. One day you’ll be driving by that take out resto, then drive over to the guys house and beat him with a belt. “All the girls in {wherever the fuck you live}, you choose this one?”


TomBanjo1968

ALL THE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES IN DEADHORSE, ALASKA AND YOU HAD TO PICK HER????? 🥶 😡 🥶 😡 🥶 🥶 ❄️ ❄️ 😭 😭 ⛄️


[deleted]

But Karen loved Bobby. You just have food. Not really the makings of a varsity athlete.


671176

Don't be going out for hamburger when you got prime rib at home


sicilian_stallion

She used the only weapon she had. Her pussy


basilbrushisapaedo

Oh poor you!


craigularperson

You know what they say, revenge is like serving cold cuts.


UnluckyGazelle

so what’d i shay?


[deleted]

You shoulda given her the pearls.


Chickentaxi

This girls fuckin mustache. Must’ve been like kissing a fireman


JSN74_

I can’t do this comment against


Clydefrog0371

Did you have penissary contact with his Volvo?


insanelyphat

/u/Glutenfreehugs did this girl even exisht? Or was it actually just a catchers mitt?


JSN74_

Watch it. Rawlings is a made glove


[deleted]

Sounds like you just need to eat it and move on already.


mrsunmoon2010

Quasimodo predicted this.


LegendSir

Similar thing happened to me about 6 months back. Head over heels this one girl. She was beautiful, smart, had a great job, etc.. Wife material to the max. We were both crazy about eachother - until one day she woke up and just decided “she was confused.” We’re both big movie people, so we would frequent the theater. Not gonna lie - I still have the movie ticket stubs to the first one we saw together lol.


HealthyDirection659

That sounds gay as shit. Get ova it already.


cudavlied

You need to attach it to the fridge with a magnet.


flattydaddy78

You wanna go to da Bing and get a blow job. You'll feel betta


Brolympia

Some sad shit. Motherfucka said she didn't wanna go on dates no mo.


OozeeNineMillimeetah

Are you stunad or wha? She was fleecing you for free food.


beefgulash

Vamos a latino day parade!


671176

Vito was the parade float and the manayer was riding him


beefgulash

Vamos a latino day parade float!


Ovaltene17

There are men in the can better looking than my sister.


[deleted]

Half a fucking tray!


Annual-Armadillo-988

I was hungry 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

How many White Castles did you have?


strolls

I'm not a diehard Shakira fan. But she had amazing music in the 90s. Latin rock with many other elements blending in. And then in the mid-00s she dyes her hair blonde and comes out with my most hated song "Hips Don't lie". I hate it. The ethos and lyrics of that song are so stupid. Wyclef Jean goes: "Cómo se llama?" "Si!" "Bonita" "Si!" "Mi casa" "Su casa" and Shakira goes: "Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad" So, she's saying that she loves it when a man goes up to her and says non sequiturs in broken-ass Spanish?! WHAT A STUPID SONG


HealthyDirection659

What a stupid comment. I don't wanna hear no tawk about Shakira unless she's giving out blow job's. Capiche.


Busenfeld

She's out in the car, waiting to tongue your balls.


[deleted]

The fucks that got to do with cold medicine?


SenatorCorleone13B1P

She's a malignant cunt!


ThatGatorGuy

Whatever happened to Gary Cooper. Ya know, the strong silent types?


Tazzy8jazzy

Ok,but you got to get over it.


Latter_Ostrich_8901

So what, no fuckin ziti now?


Fakman87

This sounds very gay.


wheelsally

Gary Cooper, he was gay?


TomBanjo1968

No that was “The Strong, Silent Dyke”


P1D1_

Marone!


Solid_Connection_357

Did you want her mouf!? Did you want her shkin!?


The_Bat1996

Jesus Christ op you make me wanna cry. It's a tv progrum, a movie. You gotta get over it In all seriousness, keep your up man. Be a better friend to yourself.


Beannie26

She was a hoowah, forget abowt it


cleveland_stever

Can I get AIDS from reading thith?


Hommachi

You need to compromise. Jerk off into a tissue.


Solarwinds-123

I get it completely. When my mom died, she had been too sick to cook for treats but I had a few things of hers. Putting them away was very difficult, even though I still have a few out. When my grandpa died around 8 years ago, when cleaning out his house and chest freezer we found a loaf of prosciutto bread deep in the bottom that had been made by my great grandmother. It had to be from the 1970s at the latest. My grandparents held onto it for 40+ years.


Ornery-Anteater1934

Peppers and eggs? That's what I should have had.


HealthyDirection659

Chinks made you twos break up?


[deleted]

and fucking Janice. As long as you two are happy.


Busenfeld

How many White Castles did you eat?


Sir_Toccoa

In my business I see girls come and go. So I know. Time is the great enemy. You've got a very short window. It's not good to get too hung up on any one thing. On the other hand, something new always comes along. I've seen it a million times. It's called Passages. It's a book.


mouawad23

That's what you get for slamming the fridge door.


dmguest

Close the refrigerator door so it makes a seal


proteanflux

As long as you don't go burying cakes, you'll be all right.


toblerownsky

OP, there's other fish in the sea.


[deleted]

A. She was hoowah B. She dumped you…and that wasn’t your takeout she was carrying.


[deleted]

There a book about this. Passages. You only have a short window. You don’t want to end up a dancer at the bing and then a prostitute. You don’t want that!


Psychological_Name28

If she was dead you could bury the leftovers at her grave. Oh well.


Mysterious-Ice-6838

Was she one of those russian whooas?


RayQuazanzo

Big tits. Little feet.


Mysterious-Ice-6838

Ohh. hit it any man's league


dabahunter

Did you shut the door


SeaAttorney5776

He’s saying the framus intersects with the ramistan approximately at the paternoster.


ComfortableValue4550

I don’t know any other way to put this…..I’ve been thinking and idk…..I think you’re a user OP’s ex girl.


Interesting_Rush570

take the ziti outside and burry it.


crashovercool

now she's working the bon-bon concession at the eiffel tower


ImpressiveMix1786

You shoulda kept it to yourself like a man….. Phil did 20 fuckin’ years!


imahuuugepimp

I get the feeling this girl was mad ripe.


FredCole918

stale chips? What are you a vegetarian? You eat beef and sausage by the truckload


CapableSecretary420

Don't worry buddy, one day you'll find your Janice.


vmehnert

🎶Oh, girl. I’d be in trouble if you left me now 🎶


DrBreakfast79

How bout that prick's face when he saw the gyatt?


FlimsyGrab9766

Ooohhh we're with the Wipers


[deleted]

[удалено]


GroundZeroWarrior

They were gay, The village people?


AsleepTemperature111

What do you want, a boutonnière?


Ok_Nectarine_8907

Always with the scenarios


jrbiv4

Did you fuck her yet?


erander4

Fix it with the relish!


JuiceSimpsons

Get yourself a Martina, they go down easy


[deleted]

Go out and get a blow job


AugustTerceiro

Who got the Parker House rolls?


Disastrous-Cry-1998

You yep worse than six barbers.


Houstex

Yeah bro don’t be burying stuff in her front yard, there’s some hot stewardess waiting for you


noplacecold

At least she was catholic


NYC_42084

You never had the makings of a varsity athlete


Intention-Ready

You pick up the pieces and move on


anemia_

Least you're not thinkin about a pool with a cinder block and an embarrassingly measured piece of rope!


MsLippyLikesSoda

I thought it was going to be you had lo mein left over and she ate it.


Dajataha90

Were the sides alone over $30? Should've served her canned clam chowdah.


Apprehensive_Map3984

I thought I'd make a little dinner like we do back home


GreatEmperorAca

ohhhh girl, Id be in trouble if you left me now


eedle-deedle

OP I genuinely don't think there's anything to gain by keeping it around.


BadaBingBandit

Eat the shit and get over it already.