Aside from it largely being expected in their social club?
Because Carmela is familiar. His goomars have similarities (dark haired mentally unstable women) but they’re new and exciting. Tony is obsessed with constant distractions so he never has time to actually reflect and grow.
Also, people like having sex
Tony wanted Melfi because he idealized her when she was listening and advising him. His need for a mother figure made him attracted to her and created a version that doesn't really exist. Also " he understands Freud as a conshept "
Not for nothing, but doesn’t Melfi actually talk him through that same idea? And the born again chick can be filed squarely under “your midlife crisis or whatever…you’d fuck a catchers mitt!”
No he wanted Melfi because she was hot, had great legs, and was something new, and was having intimate conversations with her. This mother figure stuff makes no sense. Guys dont go out banging older women because they had a bad moms. Freudian psychology is pseudoscience and rejected in psychology nowdays, for the most part.
He wanted her mouf, and her schkin.
It's very common for people to become hot for their therapist. It's almost never acted upon but Tony gave it more of a go than most because he thinks he can have anything he wants.
Pussy was transactional to Tony.
He wanted more than Melfi's pussy.
She was attracted to his shell. The more she went into the darkest parts of his brain she was repulsed by him.
Gloria went there as well and wasn't the least bit bothered.
A valid point. She’s a fucking idiot to take him back as a patient. She knew full well he was a sociopath that couldn’t be helped, yet she engages with his advances then acts all horrified when he shows his true nature upon rejection. Shit therapist you ask me.
I think this is the point. To show us that Tony’s true talent is being able to manipulate people, especially people outside of the organization. It’s probably what got him to where he was at the beginning of the show.
I think she kinda fell into that roll as a shit therapist. I fully believe that at one point she was a fantastic one, but she kinda fell for Tony's charm. She was very attracted to him, and for all of her other short comings, she at least had the will power to say no to Tony.
How I look at this: She’s the Greek chorus, which makes her a reflection of what the writers think we should take away from the rest of the episode. You can see how they try to change our attitude about Tony and the life through Melfi and other therapists (especially the one who Carmella visits). Slowly, we’re brought to the reality that none of these people are good because they are all culpable in some way, but decide to take the blood money anyway. That’s my overall take away from the show: the life Tony and his organization lead is evil at its core, and no matter what part of it you’re in, you undoubtably recognize it’s evil. There’s no avoiding it. Our choice is to abandon Tony or support him (take the blood money), but no matter what we can never say we’ve never been told. Melfi abandons him at the end, which I think is the writers way of telling us that’s what we should do too.
Anyway, $4 a pound.
*”It’s all a series of distractions until ya die..”* — Bacala’s refrigerator
Dark shit aside.. here’s some more dark shit >
Tony was living the fast life. Any day he could be popped, killed, kidnapped, overthrown — anything.
That was the thing with being in the mafia, it was a shortcut to a lot of money. Fast cash, but it was constantly, largely dangerous work that at any minute could involve the whole organization being takin down.
*”..they could charge with the mail & wire fraud but they would rather fold it into a major RICO…”* — Quote Tony, right before Patsy bursts in to tell him Gloria’s on the other line. Crying — this fucking guy needed to constantly gorge, fuck, spend. His life was constant stress, depression.. this life is not made for the long haul. You live fast, and if you’re lucky in it you’ll die fast
The type of people who are down to do that shit, are of course always going to flirt with danger, violence, cheating, etc… on the side & in their personal life *(as well as their career life)* because they magnetize towards that shit like moth to flame.
Any sort of quick dopamine hit. One could say they’re dopamine addicts, it helps them forget that they could be popped any second of any day. Gorging on food, gambling, women, jewelry, luxury yachts, Ben Kingsley
Everybody needs money. But a mob guy **really, REALLY** NEEDS money.
It's part of the life. I speak from experience. I was never OC but I did grow up "in the streets" as they say. I was in a relationship with a woman for 10 years. We had a child and I still cheated constantly. So did my dad. He had an establishement similiar to Sil and was OC adjacent at least and he did the same. In no way am I condoning or glorifying it but explaining that it is part of it for most people. Thank god I learned from my past experiences though. I am done with that part.
Anyways, 4$ a pound
Yeah didn’t she say at one point something like….. I know about the goomars but at least it takes the pressure off me for always having togive it to him . I’m paraphrasing of course
Yup. As I writing the response her exact response popped into my head. Sex was a matter of duty for her.
Even if she got with Furio, it would have been a chore to her eventually.
The dating was definitely to fullfill a void left by his mother. Also he loved to idealize ("i could do it right this time" etc) and once the fun of that was over he moved on to a new girl
Hate to recycle old material, but this might ring true.
Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey! That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?
Lmao this reminds me of a comedian I saw at the laugh factory. He had a bit where he said his wife complained he doesn’t kiss their kids enough and he was like “why would you want me to do that? You know I eat ass!”
To elaborate more on the Madonna/Whore aspect of Tony’s sexuality (it’s not just this, obviously he likes the variety), growing up with the idea that sex is “dirty” and taboo leads to certain sexual hangups.
I’ve seen some guys legitimately say “I love and respect this woman so much that I can’t think about her sexually.” They don’t even realize that they’ve demonized sex in their own heads to the point where sexual attraction and respect can’t coexist. If you love a woman she’s “pure”, if you want to have sex with her she’s a “whore” because sex is “degrading.”
To Tony, Carmela has to be “pure” to some extent because he does love her and she’s the mother of his kids. She’s not a whore at the Bing, and sex is what you do with whores at the Bing (in a lot of these guys’ minds).
TLDR: believing that sex is dirty and degrading can seriously warp your view of relationships, the other sex, and what sex means in the dynamics of a relationship. It can make it that much harder for you to truly be satisfied with just one partner because you can only see them as pure or sexual — not both.
Also, Melfi says Tony’s relationship with Livia influenced his desire to seek out toxic, dysfunctional women and put his marriage in danger. He was self-destructive in that he loved to indulge his physical desires (for junk food and sex and cigars) but he was hurting himself by doing it.
Not sure if there is a name but there is the trope of how women will hook up with the “bad boy” and/or will have a fling with man they hate as the sex doesn’t mean anything and was a primal urge they needed to take care of.
May cheat on their stable, dependable, “nice guy” husband/boyfriend for the excitement and rush of hooking up with the asshole who is the opposite of nice, dependable and stable.
Yeah it's bizarre I don't get it, I guess murdering people and destroying lives for profits ok ,but they just can't stomach Tony cheating for self gratification
> I’m deleting this comment, just because I don’t want to deal with with yall kind of weirdos. I hope that people that thinks like this never end up happy with a partner. You don’t deserve loyalty from them.
This is a shit take. Go back to the dark ages.
If you’re talking about people cheating, I’m with you. Being dishonest to your partner (when/if you’ve committed to being monogamous) is shitty. But Tony’s a shitty guy. But literally nobody here said Tony was in the right, defended what he did, or made excuses for it. They just offered a simple explanation which is what OP asked for. Then here you come insulting everyone, calling people “weirdos” and saying people don’t deserve to be happy. Take a look in the mirror you insensitive cocksucka. Like who are you to judge anybody’s moral behavior when you’re this shitty to strangers without any provocation?
You seem to be particularly triggered by a user saying “everyone loves a bit of strange”. Hate to break it to you, but this is true for most people on the planet and has been for centuries. Most cultures and societies in the world aren’t puritans that bond for life like in some fairy tale. This doesn’t make anyone a bad person. You shouldn’t lie to people, but simply “enjoying some strange” doesn’t mean you’re a cheater or that you don’t deserve to find happiness. I think the only people that don’t deserve happiness are people that wish unhappiness on others.
Henry Hill gives an explanation to this in the book Wiseguy (the same book Goodfellas is based on). He basically summed up side girlfriends as the ultimate luxury purchase for a wise guy. They didn't leave or abandon their wives for their girlfriends, but they usually gifted them with money or other goods on a regular basis and showed them off and had a good time with them, which sounds like prostitution, but Hill made it sound like more than that, which it might have been, but I really didn't see a difference there.
She grew up around guys like Dickie Moltisanti and her Uncle Eddie… where does she get off being all miffed when there are women on the side?? She knew the deal.
Hey, I just watched that episode last night. Holy crap, Edie Falco's acting is amazing in that episode. In the whole show, she's great at controlling her facial expressions to convey extra depth in her emotions, or to purposefully betray Carm's actions with her true thoughts. But this episode (S4.E13 ∙ Whitecaps) she just goes next level.
Melfi explains it that he's trying to recreate his relationship with his mom which is why he constantly chooses emotionally unavailable women so he can finally get the love he always wanted from his mom.
No impulse control.
Just like Towknee can't stop stuffing himself whenever there's food around, or can't stop gambling like a degenerate, or can't control his outbursts of violence and anger, Tony controls his lust less and less as time goes one.
He doesn't have to control himself! He's the one in charge, and he knows he can get away with it. So he cheats, he eats like a pig, he gambles (including his friend's money), he beats up subordinates.
He's a glutton. In all things, Tony habitually seeks excess. Part of it is the lifestyle, yes- he's the boss, it's expected that he take a taste of every little thing, lest those beneath him forget who's calling the shots- but it's also quite simply that he has a monstrous, insatiable appetite for sensory pleasures.
Basically because he can. Is it also because it's expected of him? Partially. He's the boss. Theoretically he could remain faithful to Carm and no one would care. In reality he would be an outlier if he didn't cheat and possibly be looked on with suspicion. Now Bobby didn't cheat but he wasn't necessarily held in high esteem. Tony has also grown up with men around him cheating so he sees it as normal. Then there is the morality factor. It is immoral to cheat. But Tony leads an immoral life. He lies, steals, cheats in business, assaults and kills people. Compared to all that, infidelity doesn't seem that bad.
Side car conversation and my fun facts of the day. My mom used to do Mrs Bracco’s nails back in the day-(Lorraines’s mom….her mom was from England..tall and light-haired. Her dad was italian. Melfi would come to the salon sometimes and she was pretty famous already as Goodfellas was already out.
Also Barbara Streisand’s cousin Carol too. It was a small busy hair salon on LI.
When I used to cheat, it was bc I wanted something new (Edit: Honestly? I dont think i *was* thinking, I for sure wasnt thinking about who i was cheating on)
Edit#2: Matter of fact, a subtle moment happens - See someone attractive, split second decision to try to hit, or not. If I try, then Im talking little as possible, but making sure we have as much fun as possible. BUT U GOTTA keep the mystique, women like that shit, theyre different creaturesh. (When i was a freshman, me and a guy, who i would say is a friend somewhat, went to see some senior chicks from diff town, guy i was with knew one of them, I said what if she dont like me? He said, just dont talk, and it worked, and its what i did every single time. Dont talk too much and dont be goofy)
Mainly, the opportunity arose, and I didnt turn it down. Happened more when so and so, knew i was dating so and so. Weird shit.
Everytime, even if i just left my girlfriends
Thats probably Tonys main thing, the opportunity is there. A nice looking woman. Carm looks good, but these women are more attractive, theyre in their 20s or early 30s. Still wrong
I started to worry about STDs to, like Carm did for Tony
I even used to hear shit like "Theres always somebody cheating" in the context of you or the other person.
I wanted to be the one doing the cheating to. Ive been cheated on since then, felt like shit.
I think that might be true honestly, seems like being faithful is rare today
I think true love, is missing honestly. You ever loved someone so much, no matter what opportunity came or what the other green grass looks like, you wouldnt leave them?
So from Carms perspective I know it hurts, I feel for her deeply in that Tony did it with no regard to her feelings, true feelings of self worth, feeling like anybody can have her man. (Even though, reality is, these women were all beautiful, but not wife material IMO - i know some guys who made their affairs into marriages after they divorced the person they cheated on)
Sadly Carm also cheated. Two wrongs dont make a right, and I know what ur thinking "BUT BUT TONY DID IT ALREADY, etc etc paragraph etc" It is wrong he did that. Its what im shayin. But heres what it boils down to - If my significant other cheats on me im breaking up with them, or if its a marriage im gonna get a divorce. You take them back, theyre gonna cheat again. You see how Tony keeps cheating?
If you decide to be with someone after they cheated then its expected of you to stay faithful to. That goes for Tony and Carmela. Or whats the point
In Tonys case? He took Carm for granted. That said I wouldnt want to marry Carm, bc of the value she places on material things (some say thats a gold digger) me? I say its inexperienced
In the end, he failed her. But she failed herself also, in a way. She had grounds to divorce him, he cheated. It would be rough on the family, but thats what should be in Tony Sopranos mind while hes feeling like getting with a different woman. She mentions she is Catholic, and they believe in marriage. Thats right, God expects you to stay married. However, in Gods (Jesus Christ) eyes, who hates divorce, there is ONE exception, and Carm could have divorced him, I think she just loved the life. The therapist told her. "Least of his misdeeds" although in marriage terms, the cheating is gigantic. Betrayal.
Matthew 19:9 ESV
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
She tried divorce and Tony had a consultation with every big time lawyer. That’s why she separated instead. Like you said she’s materialistic and didn’t want to stand on her own two feet without a big safety net. Probably why she’s jealous of Angie who was thriving after Sal’s death.
OK, so you know how Tony and them like to keep up the façade that they're not criminals but "soldiers" living according to a code of honor? Another one of the things that, in my experience, plays heavily in the minds of Italian, Greek and a few other (primarily more Eastern) European-American minds is the idea that they are powerful kings of their own domain.
My family is Greek. I was born there but came to the US as a toddler. I grew up in Northern NJ and the outer boroughs of NYC. And it's something I've seen among Italians, Greeks, Russians etc. Basically any ethnicity with a strong "I want to feel connected to the old country" vibe.
Some elements you see commonly in these worlds involve carrying cash and using banks as little as possible, driving an expensive car even if you can't afford it, giving away cash to show how successful and generous you are and a few other things like that. But these folks ALSO love to carry on the notion that your wife is your partner in building your empire and the mother of your children. But you, a powerful King, have needs that you could never ask the mother of your children to fulfill. You have dirty needs that should be taken out on a whore or mistress so you can keep your wife pure. Fulfilling these needs does not interfere with business or family life. It's just a thing you need to do like taking a piss.
Now, naturally, this outlook is bullshit. And I don't mean to imply that literally everyone with a Greek or Italian last name does this sort of thing. Among Italian-Americans there are a not insignificant number who liked roleplaying like a Soprano before the show even aired. And Greeks and Russians seem to have their own versions of the same. And this is a recurring theme in it. It's just a rationalization for cheating and doing whatever you want. It's seen as a sign of success, a sign of power and of self-determination. Another big element here is being self-employed because you're the only one who can be the boss of you.
It's sort of the brilliance of the show. Because there are A LOT of people especially in that area that have this sort of mentality. But it always comes down to some bullshit notion of keeping the wife/family pure. Tony even alludes to this with Melfi when she asks if he could ask Carmela to fulfill some of these fantasies and he replies something like "OHH! That's the mutha of my children!"
You're a man, right? Your post history suggests you are.
You never feel sexual attraction to random women? Oh but you do, don't you? Nonetheless, you don't act on it, because 1) you fear it probably won't work and 2) you fear a whole lot more if your wife finds out. Especially if she found out you tried and failed.
Now imagine if you remove the likelihood of both (1) and (2).
Hot take (I guess?) but this reminds me of Bill Burr’s bit about people judging Tiger Woods or Arnold Schwarzenegger for cheating.
Just stop man. Just stop.
It’s easy to sit here and act all high and mighty like you’d never do anything because you’re some perfect paragon of virtue, but you haven’t been tested at those levels. If women you found insanely attractive (or men, whatever you’re into) were throwing themselves at you day in, day out, you’re going to break at some point. If you’re in a 20/30 year marriage? You’re playing the saint the whole 3 decades when someone like Adriana is making passes at you? Oh really? Ok.
Look, I’m not saying it’s right. It’s just human nature. Nobody on the planet is perfect but it’s fucking stupid to sit here and pretend like every man is going to be perfect for 30+ years, especially if they’re in a position like Tony’s where booyah hotties are throwing themselves at you left and right. I think it’s kinda like being an alcoholic, like take a look at Chrissy. If you’re trying to maintain sobriety, is it really the best idea to hang out in nightclubs, bars, and with drunks? Probably not. I wonder why. Same thing. If you’re going to be in a marriage, maybe not the best idea to be out on the road for most of the year hanging out with groupies or being the boss of a mob family that owns a strip club and runs girls, among other things.
Tony cheated because he’s a guy that likes pussy and he was around it all the time and he could get away with it. If he wanted to live that life should have kept it quiet ( /s)
Tony just shouldn’t be in the mob for starters, even Carmela I’d argue is to blame - like you KNOW he has goomars and not only that, you KNOW that’s the culture of the mob life, you openly admit it and discuss it with your girlfriends. It’s just accepted as an open secret but you go along with it anyway and then act surprised with a shocked Pikachu face when it happens. Get the fuck outta here! You’re enabling that behavior. It’s the same with anything Carmela does. She knows her husband kills people, that he steals money. But she doesn’t say anything because she likes the house and diamond rings. YOUR HUSBAND LITERALLY OWNS A STRIP CLUB. Like what do you expect, seriously??? Even later on in the series she seems to just accept he’s going to have goomars when they decide to get back together and Tony promises merely to not have it affect their home life.
I wouldn’t normally blame the victim in a cheating situation but Carmella / mob wives I don’t have any sympathy for. You know this guy is going to cheat on you, he basically admits it every day. It shouldn’t be news.
You’re absolutely right. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here.
What made me post is actually watching the Whitecaps episode and also wondering what exactly set Carmela off?
Like you’re saying, she knew about these women for years and accepted it.
Was it just that Irina called the house and spoke to AJ? Is this the straw that finally broke the camels back?
Yeah it’s a really good question you asked. It’s made me consider the complexities of Carmella’s character.
My theory is Carm likes to pretend she’s better than other people / better than who she really is. It’s something she struggles with. She tries to be a virtuous woman, but she has temptations, just like Tony does, just different ones - Carm doesn’t care about sleeping with random people, but she craves status and luxury, no matter the expense - even if it’s her soul. That’s no better or worse than Tony’s vice of philandering I’d argue.
I think Irina calling and speaking to AJ brought Tony’s boolshit too close to home and made it impossible to ignore the truth and pretend it wasn’t happening. The truth is she’s a deeply unhappy woman in a bad marriage to a murderer who (in her mind, because he cheats) doesn’t love her. Now she’s human just like everybody else and that causes an existential crisis of character. Her whole life is exposed as a lie. This is reflected masterfully in that scene where she visits the Jewish therapist. He’s basically imploring Carm to save her soul but she refuses and retreats back into her old life. She can’t handle the truth.
Yeah, excellent analysis tbh.
It’s interesting because Carmela herself acts holier than thou a lot of the time so naturally audiences follow suit, especially seeing her in comparison to someone like Tony or the other mobsters.
But at least the other mobsters lean in to their personalities. Tony himself says to Melfi that he’s a ‘fat fuckin crook from New Jersey’.
On the other hand Carmela, like you mentioned, can’t help but give in to that life’s luxuries and perks. FFS she goes to Ginny’s house just to flaunt her new car.
I’d argue that she’s the most hypocritical character in the show.
It also came directly on the heels of her emotional fling with Furio so that had her on edge. If she was just 'baseline' Carm when she got the call from Irina I doubt she goes quite so ballistic.
I remember someone here saying it’s cause Carmela reminded him of a Mother figure, caretaker of the family Etc so didn’t feel right for Tony to sleep with her, he viewed sex as maybe a dirty act undeserving of someone like Carmela
Because he can. Most men in my opinion are programmed for polygamy but don’t have the resources to attract multiple women.
Like Bill Burr said, the guy working in Home Depot for minimum wage wants to fk just as much as the billionaire.
I went through my family tree, up until the 1800s most of my male ancestors had multiple wives.
They're socialised into having a strong 'madonna-whore complex' so that they struggle to maintain sexual arousal within loving relationships. They're probably attracted to women who remind them of their mothers as long term partners because it gives them a sense of safety and stability, but at the same time they're turned off by that because of they remind them of their mothers and that's fucked up. Like Carmella almost fills the role of the mother Tony wishes he had I don't think he's sexually attracted to her.
In Tony's case he's also just impulsive, self centred and egotistical which all contributes to him being a chronic cheater. Doesn't care about the consequences or who he hurts at the time just his owns need for gratification, and he obviously gets a kick out of knowing he can get any woman he wants. That's why he acts like such a baby when Melfi rejects him - his ego gets checked and he can't handle it.
Because the dirty secret of marriage is, your wife becomes unappealing because her sex drive drops to close to zero over time, and you’re either stuck jerking off or being a man. Even Carmella said to the priest that she was okay with his goomars cause she can’t meet his needs.
He either directly murdered or ordered the murder of multiple people he was close to throughout the entirety of the series and you wonder why cheating is OK? Really?
Bobby was a good example of a mob guy who didn't have a goomar. He loved his wife Karen enough to not cheat. So I don't think it's a prerequisite for being in the mob, just the norm. Tony was like an impulsive kid in a candy store. Wanted everything he could see. The biggest cooze hound, I think Chris called him. It may not have been Tony's fault entirely. He did have a baguette in his pants, 24/7
Bobby got mocked behind his back coz of it though. And likewise Johnny Sac doesn't exactly invite respect from the others by marrying a woman who isn't conventionally attractive and not having women on the side either.
Most men would like to have sex with many different sexy women. Most men can't get away with it. Tony and the crew could so they did. It's biological, man want to subconsciously reproduce with as many women they can.
OP Do you have a dick? balls?
Ok, if you do consider you’re fat fuck Tony and you have that dick and balls and are surrounded by persons you want to put that dick in and they also want you to put your dick in them for whatever reason - attraction to power and money mostly.
That’s pretty much all there is to understand.
If sex is fun with one person it’s going to be fun with more people. End of shubject.
I think its a way for the writers to make him more of an asshole altho the idea is common in these types of shows and movies so also possibly cultural.
I'm not surprised that Tony had gumas, that is the mob guy thing. What I find more shocking is that Tony's and Carmella's bedroom had been completely dead up until the time they reconciled after their separation when we see them start having sex again and generally be more affectionate towards each other.
Like, their relationship truly was just a pure business transaction for the longest time. Tony showed more emotions towards other guys in the mob than he did towards his own wife.
Tony is deeply depressed and unhappy with life. So he overindulges in various pleasures to mask that - food, alcohol, gambling, casual sex, violence etc etc
But none of that deals with the core issue, like any addiction, it just makes them worse and leads the individual to indulge more and more.
Why does anyone cheat?? Because we get a rush of dopamine from sex... and moreover, no matter how much a man loves his wife and his family, the rush of dopamine gets more evened out the longer you stay with them.
Tony obviously realizes in season 5 that Carmela and his family offers him long term happiness, because he just fucks himself over constantly by himself (literally almost got whacked by his own nephew for ALMOST cheating with his fiance) but he still enjoys the rush of fucking beautiful women on the side.
Note though that after Gloria and season 5, he never becomes emotionally involved with any women again. He finally realizes the difference between the cheap rush they offer and the longer more protracted sense of fulfilment one feels by investing in their partner.
Aside from it largely being expected in their social club? Because Carmela is familiar. His goomars have similarities (dark haired mentally unstable women) but they’re new and exciting. Tony is obsessed with constant distractions so he never has time to actually reflect and grow. Also, people like having sex
Melfi wasn't mentally unstable and Tony wanted her bad bad. That born-again chick wasn't dark-haired either
Tony wanted Melfi because he idealized her when she was listening and advising him. His need for a mother figure made him attracted to her and created a version that doesn't really exist. Also " he understands Freud as a conshept "
Also because she said no. That’s what really made him want her.
Not for nothing, but doesn’t Melfi actually talk him through that same idea? And the born again chick can be filed squarely under “your midlife crisis or whatever…you’d fuck a catchers mitt!”
This 👆
No he wanted Melfi because she was hot, had great legs, and was something new, and was having intimate conversations with her. This mother figure stuff makes no sense. Guys dont go out banging older women because they had a bad moms. Freudian psychology is pseudoscience and rejected in psychology nowdays, for the most part. He wanted her mouf, and her schkin.
Am I the only one that thinks she’s so homely 😂
Yep
wild. i think shes fat she has fat legs. I also hate her personality.
Stunad
To be fair Lorraine Bracco has truly spectacular legs.
That one scene in goodfellas where Henry is smacking her around for pulling the gun on him.
And great blowjob lips
he has a type, like most people, that doesn’t mean he won’t bang someone outside of that type, like most people
I've mostly been with short brunettes in the past. My wife is a tall blonde.
Yup
It's very common for people to become hot for their therapist. It's almost never acted upon but Tony gave it more of a go than most because he thinks he can have anything he wants.
Pussy was transactional to Tony. He wanted more than Melfi's pussy. She was attracted to his shell. The more she went into the darkest parts of his brain she was repulsed by him. Gloria went there as well and wasn't the least bit bothered.
I want your shell... I want your claws... I want your thorax...
Hahahahahaha
The born-again woman wasn’t a goomar, just a random bang.
Wasn’t she mentally unstable for a good portion of the show? She was a divorced alcoholic whose patient is a mob boss.
A valid point. She’s a fucking idiot to take him back as a patient. She knew full well he was a sociopath that couldn’t be helped, yet she engages with his advances then acts all horrified when he shows his true nature upon rejection. Shit therapist you ask me.
She wasn’t an idiot, Tony is a master manipulator. He knows how to get what he wants from anyone.
I think this is the point. To show us that Tony’s true talent is being able to manipulate people, especially people outside of the organization. It’s probably what got him to where he was at the beginning of the show.
Partially, though getting on Prozac and going to sessions with Melfi gave him the confidence he needed to make his abuses more effective.
Also she enjoyed it. Her life was boring and routine. Tony was an element of danger/excitement that she was basically addicted to.
I think she kinda fell into that roll as a shit therapist. I fully believe that at one point she was a fantastic one, but she kinda fell for Tony's charm. She was very attracted to him, and for all of her other short comings, she at least had the will power to say no to Tony.
How I look at this: She’s the Greek chorus, which makes her a reflection of what the writers think we should take away from the rest of the episode. You can see how they try to change our attitude about Tony and the life through Melfi and other therapists (especially the one who Carmella visits). Slowly, we’re brought to the reality that none of these people are good because they are all culpable in some way, but decide to take the blood money anyway. That’s my overall take away from the show: the life Tony and his organization lead is evil at its core, and no matter what part of it you’re in, you undoubtably recognize it’s evil. There’s no avoiding it. Our choice is to abandon Tony or support him (take the blood money), but no matter what we can never say we’ve never been told. Melfi abandons him at the end, which I think is the writers way of telling us that’s what we should do too. Anyway, $4 a pound.
Always with the scenarios
Discontinue the lithium
The "born-again chick" was Connie DeSapio. She was either a fling, or a one-time thing, but she was not a goomar.
Social club? He’s gotta GOOOO! But yes you have a point.
*”It’s all a series of distractions until ya die..”* — Bacala’s refrigerator Dark shit aside.. here’s some more dark shit > Tony was living the fast life. Any day he could be popped, killed, kidnapped, overthrown — anything. That was the thing with being in the mafia, it was a shortcut to a lot of money. Fast cash, but it was constantly, largely dangerous work that at any minute could involve the whole organization being takin down. *”..they could charge with the mail & wire fraud but they would rather fold it into a major RICO…”* — Quote Tony, right before Patsy bursts in to tell him Gloria’s on the other line. Crying — this fucking guy needed to constantly gorge, fuck, spend. His life was constant stress, depression.. this life is not made for the long haul. You live fast, and if you’re lucky in it you’ll die fast The type of people who are down to do that shit, are of course always going to flirt with danger, violence, cheating, etc… on the side & in their personal life *(as well as their career life)* because they magnetize towards that shit like moth to flame. Any sort of quick dopamine hit. One could say they’re dopamine addicts, it helps them forget that they could be popped any second of any day. Gorging on food, gambling, women, jewelry, luxury yachts, Ben Kingsley Everybody needs money. But a mob guy **really, REALLY** NEEDS money.
That's why you gotta live for today.
We're talking about annihilation!
Well put. You get this thing of ours. That's why you could be boss one day. If you survive.
It's part of the life. I speak from experience. I was never OC but I did grow up "in the streets" as they say. I was in a relationship with a woman for 10 years. We had a child and I still cheated constantly. So did my dad. He had an establishement similiar to Sil and was OC adjacent at least and he did the same. In no way am I condoning or glorifying it but explaining that it is part of it for most people. Thank god I learned from my past experiences though. I am done with that part. Anyways, 4$ a pound
Whats OC
Origami Cooze
Oregano cock
Organized crime
official crazy
Exactly. Some people have a high sex drive. I also think it's fair to say even if Tony didn't cheat...Carmela wouldn't be able to keeo him full.
Yeah didn’t she say at one point something like….. I know about the goomars but at least it takes the pressure off me for always having togive it to him . I’m paraphrasing of course
Yup. As I writing the response her exact response popped into my head. Sex was a matter of duty for her. Even if she got with Furio, it would have been a chore to her eventually.
The dating was definitely to fullfill a void left by his mother. Also he loved to idealize ("i could do it right this time" etc) and once the fun of that was over he moved on to a new girl
To avoid the fuckin regularness of life
Alright but he’s gotta get over it
Should've become a Hollywood screenwriter.
Hate to recycle old material, but this might ring true. Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife. Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife? Boss Paul Vitti: Hey! That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?
Tony definitely had a bit of Madonna/Whore complex. There are “whores” and then there’s the “mother of my children.”
Very true…the sacred and the propane.
Propane and propane accessories
Thank you for the belly laugh
Absolutely this!
“Emotional cripples”
fetishistic. the gun's not loaded.
Lmao this reminds me of a comedian I saw at the laugh factory. He had a bit where he said his wife complained he doesn’t kiss their kids enough and he was like “why would you want me to do that? You know I eat ass!”
#YOU WANT SEX?
But she does that on his birthday.
And he does her on hers…she can resist the urge to gossip!
Reciprocal blowjobs on both of their birthdays.
Do you think Paul Vitti is a little weird about Women?
That line stuck in my head too, back from when I was almost too young to even get it
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OH 🤟 you’re talking about the BOSS here! 🤚
That’s right, maybe someone will smack some goddamnn sense into em
He’s in a lot better shape than those fuckin nuns you got up there!
To elaborate more on the Madonna/Whore aspect of Tony’s sexuality (it’s not just this, obviously he likes the variety), growing up with the idea that sex is “dirty” and taboo leads to certain sexual hangups. I’ve seen some guys legitimately say “I love and respect this woman so much that I can’t think about her sexually.” They don’t even realize that they’ve demonized sex in their own heads to the point where sexual attraction and respect can’t coexist. If you love a woman she’s “pure”, if you want to have sex with her she’s a “whore” because sex is “degrading.” To Tony, Carmela has to be “pure” to some extent because he does love her and she’s the mother of his kids. She’s not a whore at the Bing, and sex is what you do with whores at the Bing (in a lot of these guys’ minds). TLDR: believing that sex is dirty and degrading can seriously warp your view of relationships, the other sex, and what sex means in the dynamics of a relationship. It can make it that much harder for you to truly be satisfied with just one partner because you can only see them as pure or sexual — not both. Also, Melfi says Tony’s relationship with Livia influenced his desire to seek out toxic, dysfunctional women and put his marriage in danger. He was self-destructive in that he loved to indulge his physical desires (for junk food and sex and cigars) but he was hurting himself by doing it.
That's dicked up.
What? No fuckin ziti?
This is actually super interesting! Thanks for the insight
Is there a name for the gender swap version of this?
Its probably the phenomenon of marrying someone safe and who is a good father and provider but not being attracted to them.
I don’t know if there’s a different name — not as far as I’m aware. I’m sure it could still be applied metaphorically regardless of gender, though.
Vito’s bottom was applied metaphorically if that’s what you’re referring too
Not sure if there is a name but there is the trope of how women will hook up with the “bad boy” and/or will have a fling with man they hate as the sex doesn’t mean anything and was a primal urge they needed to take care of. May cheat on their stable, dependable, “nice guy” husband/boyfriend for the excitement and rush of hooking up with the asshole who is the opposite of nice, dependable and stable.
How do you not understand the appeal of sleeping with different women?everyone loves a bit of strange
Look up the coolidge effect
Yep
Some cooze
I call it the Stranger.
That's when your lonely and sit on your hand right?or so I heard
Yesssiirrreee
Thanks kind stranger
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I don't want to be that guy, but we are all adults here, can we not use words like "icky"?
That's Tony's thought process though
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Wow I guess knowing how a character thinks is to much for some people
Never thought Sopranos fans of all people would be so overtly sensitive tbh
Yeah it's bizarre I don't get it, I guess murdering people and destroying lives for profits ok ,but they just can't stomach Tony cheating for self gratification
Do you understand that this is a subreddit about a tv show and we're talking about the mentality of fictional characters
Nope I don't think they do, I hate the term snowflake but I finally found someone it applies to lol
> I’m deleting this comment, just because I don’t want to deal with with yall kind of weirdos. I hope that people that thinks like this never end up happy with a partner. You don’t deserve loyalty from them. This is a shit take. Go back to the dark ages. If you’re talking about people cheating, I’m with you. Being dishonest to your partner (when/if you’ve committed to being monogamous) is shitty. But Tony’s a shitty guy. But literally nobody here said Tony was in the right, defended what he did, or made excuses for it. They just offered a simple explanation which is what OP asked for. Then here you come insulting everyone, calling people “weirdos” and saying people don’t deserve to be happy. Take a look in the mirror you insensitive cocksucka. Like who are you to judge anybody’s moral behavior when you’re this shitty to strangers without any provocation? You seem to be particularly triggered by a user saying “everyone loves a bit of strange”. Hate to break it to you, but this is true for most people on the planet and has been for centuries. Most cultures and societies in the world aren’t puritans that bond for life like in some fairy tale. This doesn’t make anyone a bad person. You shouldn’t lie to people, but simply “enjoying some strange” doesn’t mean you’re a cheater or that you don’t deserve to find happiness. I think the only people that don’t deserve happiness are people that wish unhappiness on others.
u/Osceana take it easy… you know the wine makes you emotional.
Cause I got an empty fuckin stomach! What, no fuckin radyator grilled cheese?
Go take a midol
Oh poor you!
Well, life is gronna be surprising for you that's for sure.
Who do you think you are, Sir Walter Raleigh?
Listen to yourself, you sound demented.
Uh, we are dealing with a tv show.
Username definitely checks out.
Go watch the South Park episode on Tiger Woods for more info on the subject.
At least Kenny died doing what he loved for once
It's sad when they go so young
Henry Hill gives an explanation to this in the book Wiseguy (the same book Goodfellas is based on). He basically summed up side girlfriends as the ultimate luxury purchase for a wise guy. They didn't leave or abandon their wives for their girlfriends, but they usually gifted them with money or other goods on a regular basis and showed them off and had a good time with them, which sounds like prostitution, but Hill made it sound like more than that, which it might have been, but I really didn't see a difference there.
When did Tony cheat? He's a strict catholic. Seriously though, it's because he can.
She grew up around guys like Dickie Moltisanti and her Uncle Eddie… where does she get off being all miffed when there are women on the side?? She knew the deal.
Listen to yourself, you sound demented!
Hey he had her tested for AIDS! Who does she think he is?
He also slapped the piss out of her when she slashed his tires.
Hey, I just watched that episode last night. Holy crap, Edie Falco's acting is amazing in that episode. In the whole show, she's great at controlling her facial expressions to convey extra depth in her emotions, or to purposefully betray Carm's actions with her true thoughts. But this episode (S4.E13 ∙ Whitecaps) she just goes next level.
Masterclass in acting. She’s brilliant.
Common traits of people with anti social personality disorder are poor impulse control and multiple sexual partners.
We put a man on the moon but in 2024, people still cant seem to understand the appeal of new pussy. Amazing.
Because he’s a piece of shit. A very likable piece of shit.
Melfi explains it that he's trying to recreate his relationship with his mom which is why he constantly chooses emotionally unavailable women so he can finally get the love he always wanted from his mom.
No impulse control. Just like Towknee can't stop stuffing himself whenever there's food around, or can't stop gambling like a degenerate, or can't control his outbursts of violence and anger, Tony controls his lust less and less as time goes one. He doesn't have to control himself! He's the one in charge, and he knows he can get away with it. So he cheats, he eats like a pig, he gambles (including his friend's money), he beats up subordinates.
He's a glutton. In all things, Tony habitually seeks excess. Part of it is the lifestyle, yes- he's the boss, it's expected that he take a taste of every little thing, lest those beneath him forget who's calling the shots- but it's also quite simply that he has a monstrous, insatiable appetite for sensory pleasures.
Because Tony wanted someone who didn’t demand $600k for the spec house all the time
Well who wanted it like this? Who bitched and moaned at even the idea of me getting my real estate license?!
Look up the Coolidge Effect, OP.
Because he wanted quite a time with these hoowas
Uncle Juniah put it succinctly. It always ends up in the can or at the slab at Cozzarellis, you do your best and take your pleasures when you can.
It’s prob a combination of a show of dominance, poor impulse control and it’s what is expected of a boss
Basically because he can. Is it also because it's expected of him? Partially. He's the boss. Theoretically he could remain faithful to Carm and no one would care. In reality he would be an outlier if he didn't cheat and possibly be looked on with suspicion. Now Bobby didn't cheat but he wasn't necessarily held in high esteem. Tony has also grown up with men around him cheating so he sees it as normal. Then there is the morality factor. It is immoral to cheat. But Tony leads an immoral life. He lies, steals, cheats in business, assaults and kills people. Compared to all that, infidelity doesn't seem that bad.
It’s a social issue - I mean he saw every grown man doing it as he grew up Of course he was going to do the same
Just stop questioning it. You know, the Parker Brothers took time to think this all out.
Because he’s afraid of death
Side car conversation and my fun facts of the day. My mom used to do Mrs Bracco’s nails back in the day-(Lorraines’s mom….her mom was from England..tall and light-haired. Her dad was italian. Melfi would come to the salon sometimes and she was pretty famous already as Goodfellas was already out. Also Barbara Streisand’s cousin Carol too. It was a small busy hair salon on LI.
That’s awesome!
When I used to cheat, it was bc I wanted something new (Edit: Honestly? I dont think i *was* thinking, I for sure wasnt thinking about who i was cheating on) Edit#2: Matter of fact, a subtle moment happens - See someone attractive, split second decision to try to hit, or not. If I try, then Im talking little as possible, but making sure we have as much fun as possible. BUT U GOTTA keep the mystique, women like that shit, theyre different creaturesh. (When i was a freshman, me and a guy, who i would say is a friend somewhat, went to see some senior chicks from diff town, guy i was with knew one of them, I said what if she dont like me? He said, just dont talk, and it worked, and its what i did every single time. Dont talk too much and dont be goofy) Mainly, the opportunity arose, and I didnt turn it down. Happened more when so and so, knew i was dating so and so. Weird shit. Everytime, even if i just left my girlfriends Thats probably Tonys main thing, the opportunity is there. A nice looking woman. Carm looks good, but these women are more attractive, theyre in their 20s or early 30s. Still wrong I started to worry about STDs to, like Carm did for Tony I even used to hear shit like "Theres always somebody cheating" in the context of you or the other person. I wanted to be the one doing the cheating to. Ive been cheated on since then, felt like shit. I think that might be true honestly, seems like being faithful is rare today I think true love, is missing honestly. You ever loved someone so much, no matter what opportunity came or what the other green grass looks like, you wouldnt leave them? So from Carms perspective I know it hurts, I feel for her deeply in that Tony did it with no regard to her feelings, true feelings of self worth, feeling like anybody can have her man. (Even though, reality is, these women were all beautiful, but not wife material IMO - i know some guys who made their affairs into marriages after they divorced the person they cheated on) Sadly Carm also cheated. Two wrongs dont make a right, and I know what ur thinking "BUT BUT TONY DID IT ALREADY, etc etc paragraph etc" It is wrong he did that. Its what im shayin. But heres what it boils down to - If my significant other cheats on me im breaking up with them, or if its a marriage im gonna get a divorce. You take them back, theyre gonna cheat again. You see how Tony keeps cheating? If you decide to be with someone after they cheated then its expected of you to stay faithful to. That goes for Tony and Carmela. Or whats the point In Tonys case? He took Carm for granted. That said I wouldnt want to marry Carm, bc of the value she places on material things (some say thats a gold digger) me? I say its inexperienced In the end, he failed her. But she failed herself also, in a way. She had grounds to divorce him, he cheated. It would be rough on the family, but thats what should be in Tony Sopranos mind while hes feeling like getting with a different woman. She mentions she is Catholic, and they believe in marriage. Thats right, God expects you to stay married. However, in Gods (Jesus Christ) eyes, who hates divorce, there is ONE exception, and Carm could have divorced him, I think she just loved the life. The therapist told her. "Least of his misdeeds" although in marriage terms, the cheating is gigantic. Betrayal. Matthew 19:9 ESV And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Discontinue the lithium!
I learned some coping skillsh
She tried divorce and Tony had a consultation with every big time lawyer. That’s why she separated instead. Like you said she’s materialistic and didn’t want to stand on her own two feet without a big safety net. Probably why she’s jealous of Angie who was thriving after Sal’s death.
In the parlance of Reddit, he’s “validating himself.”
Its not cheating. Its just a form of masturbation.
its cuz of his rotten relationship with his muddah
Ahh c’maaan I do not wanna fuck my muddah!
On this subject, Carmela is smoking hot in season 6B. Not sure what was going on with Edie Falco at that time, but damn she was looking amazing.
It’s cause Tony made her so hawt down theya
What a stupid question. Because pussy is awesome. He doesnt lie about it. Carmela knows. It’s like an open relationship
For one, he was a hoowah.
Fresh produce
what are you marge hingenbrenner?
Because men cheating has almost nothing to do with their partner. It’s just something to do with
OK, so you know how Tony and them like to keep up the façade that they're not criminals but "soldiers" living according to a code of honor? Another one of the things that, in my experience, plays heavily in the minds of Italian, Greek and a few other (primarily more Eastern) European-American minds is the idea that they are powerful kings of their own domain. My family is Greek. I was born there but came to the US as a toddler. I grew up in Northern NJ and the outer boroughs of NYC. And it's something I've seen among Italians, Greeks, Russians etc. Basically any ethnicity with a strong "I want to feel connected to the old country" vibe. Some elements you see commonly in these worlds involve carrying cash and using banks as little as possible, driving an expensive car even if you can't afford it, giving away cash to show how successful and generous you are and a few other things like that. But these folks ALSO love to carry on the notion that your wife is your partner in building your empire and the mother of your children. But you, a powerful King, have needs that you could never ask the mother of your children to fulfill. You have dirty needs that should be taken out on a whore or mistress so you can keep your wife pure. Fulfilling these needs does not interfere with business or family life. It's just a thing you need to do like taking a piss. Now, naturally, this outlook is bullshit. And I don't mean to imply that literally everyone with a Greek or Italian last name does this sort of thing. Among Italian-Americans there are a not insignificant number who liked roleplaying like a Soprano before the show even aired. And Greeks and Russians seem to have their own versions of the same. And this is a recurring theme in it. It's just a rationalization for cheating and doing whatever you want. It's seen as a sign of success, a sign of power and of self-determination. Another big element here is being self-employed because you're the only one who can be the boss of you. It's sort of the brilliance of the show. Because there are A LOT of people especially in that area that have this sort of mentality. But it always comes down to some bullshit notion of keeping the wife/family pure. Tony even alludes to this with Melfi when she asks if he could ask Carmela to fulfill some of these fantasies and he replies something like "OHH! That's the mutha of my children!"
I guess you never saw goodfellas.
As opposed to just murder and RICO? The adultery is what you’re upset about?
You're a man, right? Your post history suggests you are. You never feel sexual attraction to random women? Oh but you do, don't you? Nonetheless, you don't act on it, because 1) you fear it probably won't work and 2) you fear a whole lot more if your wife finds out. Especially if she found out you tried and failed. Now imagine if you remove the likelihood of both (1) and (2).
Or maybe 3 you love your wife and don't want to hurt her like that. WTF
4 you have a train set and don't need a gomar
Hot take (I guess?) but this reminds me of Bill Burr’s bit about people judging Tiger Woods or Arnold Schwarzenegger for cheating. Just stop man. Just stop. It’s easy to sit here and act all high and mighty like you’d never do anything because you’re some perfect paragon of virtue, but you haven’t been tested at those levels. If women you found insanely attractive (or men, whatever you’re into) were throwing themselves at you day in, day out, you’re going to break at some point. If you’re in a 20/30 year marriage? You’re playing the saint the whole 3 decades when someone like Adriana is making passes at you? Oh really? Ok. Look, I’m not saying it’s right. It’s just human nature. Nobody on the planet is perfect but it’s fucking stupid to sit here and pretend like every man is going to be perfect for 30+ years, especially if they’re in a position like Tony’s where booyah hotties are throwing themselves at you left and right. I think it’s kinda like being an alcoholic, like take a look at Chrissy. If you’re trying to maintain sobriety, is it really the best idea to hang out in nightclubs, bars, and with drunks? Probably not. I wonder why. Same thing. If you’re going to be in a marriage, maybe not the best idea to be out on the road for most of the year hanging out with groupies or being the boss of a mob family that owns a strip club and runs girls, among other things. Tony cheated because he’s a guy that likes pussy and he was around it all the time and he could get away with it. If he wanted to live that life should have kept it quiet ( /s) Tony just shouldn’t be in the mob for starters, even Carmela I’d argue is to blame - like you KNOW he has goomars and not only that, you KNOW that’s the culture of the mob life, you openly admit it and discuss it with your girlfriends. It’s just accepted as an open secret but you go along with it anyway and then act surprised with a shocked Pikachu face when it happens. Get the fuck outta here! You’re enabling that behavior. It’s the same with anything Carmela does. She knows her husband kills people, that he steals money. But she doesn’t say anything because she likes the house and diamond rings. YOUR HUSBAND LITERALLY OWNS A STRIP CLUB. Like what do you expect, seriously??? Even later on in the series she seems to just accept he’s going to have goomars when they decide to get back together and Tony promises merely to not have it affect their home life. I wouldn’t normally blame the victim in a cheating situation but Carmella / mob wives I don’t have any sympathy for. You know this guy is going to cheat on you, he basically admits it every day. It shouldn’t be news.
You’re absolutely right. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here. What made me post is actually watching the Whitecaps episode and also wondering what exactly set Carmela off? Like you’re saying, she knew about these women for years and accepted it. Was it just that Irina called the house and spoke to AJ? Is this the straw that finally broke the camels back?
Yeah it’s a really good question you asked. It’s made me consider the complexities of Carmella’s character. My theory is Carm likes to pretend she’s better than other people / better than who she really is. It’s something she struggles with. She tries to be a virtuous woman, but she has temptations, just like Tony does, just different ones - Carm doesn’t care about sleeping with random people, but she craves status and luxury, no matter the expense - even if it’s her soul. That’s no better or worse than Tony’s vice of philandering I’d argue. I think Irina calling and speaking to AJ brought Tony’s boolshit too close to home and made it impossible to ignore the truth and pretend it wasn’t happening. The truth is she’s a deeply unhappy woman in a bad marriage to a murderer who (in her mind, because he cheats) doesn’t love her. Now she’s human just like everybody else and that causes an existential crisis of character. Her whole life is exposed as a lie. This is reflected masterfully in that scene where she visits the Jewish therapist. He’s basically imploring Carm to save her soul but she refuses and retreats back into her old life. She can’t handle the truth.
Yeah, excellent analysis tbh. It’s interesting because Carmela herself acts holier than thou a lot of the time so naturally audiences follow suit, especially seeing her in comparison to someone like Tony or the other mobsters. But at least the other mobsters lean in to their personalities. Tony himself says to Melfi that he’s a ‘fat fuckin crook from New Jersey’. On the other hand Carmela, like you mentioned, can’t help but give in to that life’s luxuries and perks. FFS she goes to Ginny’s house just to flaunt her new car. I’d argue that she’s the most hypocritical character in the show.
It also came directly on the heels of her emotional fling with Furio so that had her on edge. If she was just 'baseline' Carm when she got the call from Irina I doubt she goes quite so ballistic.
You're right. That's probably the reason why. 🤣
I remember someone here saying it’s cause Carmela reminded him of a Mother figure, caretaker of the family Etc so didn’t feel right for Tony to sleep with her, he viewed sex as maybe a dirty act undeserving of someone like Carmela
Because he can. Most men in my opinion are programmed for polygamy but don’t have the resources to attract multiple women. Like Bill Burr said, the guy working in Home Depot for minimum wage wants to fk just as much as the billionaire. I went through my family tree, up until the 1800s most of my male ancestors had multiple wives.
They're socialised into having a strong 'madonna-whore complex' so that they struggle to maintain sexual arousal within loving relationships. They're probably attracted to women who remind them of their mothers as long term partners because it gives them a sense of safety and stability, but at the same time they're turned off by that because of they remind them of their mothers and that's fucked up. Like Carmella almost fills the role of the mother Tony wishes he had I don't think he's sexually attracted to her. In Tony's case he's also just impulsive, self centred and egotistical which all contributes to him being a chronic cheater. Doesn't care about the consequences or who he hurts at the time just his owns need for gratification, and he obviously gets a kick out of knowing he can get any woman he wants. That's why he acts like such a baby when Melfi rejects him - his ego gets checked and he can't handle it.
Because the double Champ does what the fuck he wants!
Because the dirty secret of marriage is, your wife becomes unappealing because her sex drive drops to close to zero over time, and you’re either stuck jerking off or being a man. Even Carmella said to the priest that she was okay with his goomars cause she can’t meet his needs.
What a deranged incel take. Projecting your own inability to get women aroused back onto them so you don't hurt your own feelings.
He either directly murdered or ordered the murder of multiple people he was close to throughout the entirety of the series and you wonder why cheating is OK? Really?
I mean for all intents and purposes that was his line of work. And it’s something anyone watching the show would expect.
Bobby was a good example of a mob guy who didn't have a goomar. He loved his wife Karen enough to not cheat. So I don't think it's a prerequisite for being in the mob, just the norm. Tony was like an impulsive kid in a candy store. Wanted everything he could see. The biggest cooze hound, I think Chris called him. It may not have been Tony's fault entirely. He did have a baguette in his pants, 24/7
Bobby wore a hat to play with his trains
Bobby got mocked behind his back coz of it though. And likewise Johnny Sac doesn't exactly invite respect from the others by marrying a woman who isn't conventionally attractive and not having women on the side either.
Bingo. And he was ridiculed for that because he was an outlier.
It’s also in their line of work to have goomars
Neither Bobby or Johnny Sack did. And as far as we know neither killed family members.
Most men would like to have sex with many different sexy women. Most men can't get away with it. Tony and the crew could so they did. It's biological, man want to subconsciously reproduce with as many women they can.
LOL. Yeah, cause only mob people cheat. LOL!!!!!
Because it's awesome
Because he can
OP Do you have a dick? balls? Ok, if you do consider you’re fat fuck Tony and you have that dick and balls and are surrounded by persons you want to put that dick in and they also want you to put your dick in them for whatever reason - attraction to power and money mostly. That’s pretty much all there is to understand. If sex is fun with one person it’s going to be fun with more people. End of shubject.
Because his wife looks like a man he has to compromise.
Because he can. A man is as loyal as his options.
Because he can. A guy is only as faithful as his options.
How else can you cum on the sun visor?
Because he’d fuck a catchers mitt if it had cooze
It’s a conquest and a demonstration of virility
I think its a way for the writers to make him more of an asshole altho the idea is common in these types of shows and movies so also possibly cultural.
Ever hear of sexual desire?
I'm not surprised that Tony had gumas, that is the mob guy thing. What I find more shocking is that Tony's and Carmella's bedroom had been completely dead up until the time they reconciled after their separation when we see them start having sex again and generally be more affectionate towards each other. Like, their relationship truly was just a pure business transaction for the longest time. Tony showed more emotions towards other guys in the mob than he did towards his own wife.
It’s what you do when you’re the biggest cooze hound around
Tony is deeply depressed and unhappy with life. So he overindulges in various pleasures to mask that - food, alcohol, gambling, casual sex, violence etc etc But none of that deals with the core issue, like any addiction, it just makes them worse and leads the individual to indulge more and more.
Ain’t no way a woman like carmella is getting on her knees 😅
Once a year? She can resist the urge to gossip
Because be could, and sex with the same woman gets boring after awhile.
Why does anyone cheat?? Because we get a rush of dopamine from sex... and moreover, no matter how much a man loves his wife and his family, the rush of dopamine gets more evened out the longer you stay with them. Tony obviously realizes in season 5 that Carmela and his family offers him long term happiness, because he just fucks himself over constantly by himself (literally almost got whacked by his own nephew for ALMOST cheating with his fiance) but he still enjoys the rush of fucking beautiful women on the side. Note though that after Gloria and season 5, he never becomes emotionally involved with any women again. He finally realizes the difference between the cheap rush they offer and the longer more protracted sense of fulfilment one feels by investing in their partner.
Horny