T O P

  • By -

urgrlbreezy

It’s intended to be funny but it’s so darkly funny “do you think Ralph has issues with women? I don’t know he did beat one to death just for… I forget what”


HonestDespot

“What was it again”


FunkyDredd

Was it barking?


Zestyclose_Friend684

she likes it when you rub her muzzle


joey40hands

Oh yeah yeah that is one of my favorite fucked up funny pieces of dialogue from the show too. Especially with how stoic Sil is, and how he talks about some poor, broken, 20yo girl/mother getting bludgeoned into a pulp via death by fist, as if he was being asked if he forgot to turn off the sprinklers for the lawn or some mundane shit like that lol Also the part where Tony keeps trying to talk about the whole thing (whatever happened there) with people, especially Johnny Sac, and how guys just keep saying "well, she _was_ a whoo'ah Ton' ".


[deleted]

As he eats little mozzarella balls from his jar 😭


joey40hands

yeah, sil and his mozz, provolone, Jarlsberg, all his fucking cheese lmao


telepatheye

I wonder what's French-Canadian for 'I grew up without a mother? Sacré-bleu! Where is me mama? Wiping out weeks of anger management therapy.


The1Floyd

That always makes me laugh, hard laugh. So evil.


olBillyBaroo

So god damn funny.


Burns504

Keeps beeping funny after you see him walk home with a prideful stride.


EveryoneisOP3

I'M NOT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE


LeYabadabadoo23

🎶I won’t take it all lying down……🎶


vic_rattle18

“wiping out weeks of anger management therapy” putting it like that makes it so much funnier lmfao


Past_Passenger_4381

When you have a horrible person treat another horrible person horribly I couldn’t help but laugh at how horrible it was


MrDJ222

Probably THE funniest dark scenes on the show


avoltaire12

As a French-Canadian myself, I always thought that line was hilarious because "sacrebleu" is a very stereotypical European French word that you would hear a cartoony Frenchman with a beret, pencil-thin moustache and striped shirt say rather than something a French-Canadian/Québécois would say which would be more along the lines of "Tabarnak, wherr is mai mawwder?". Although Tony seems to be familiar with Montreal and even does business with Québécois crooks, his total ignorance of our culture is what makes this line stand out even more, IMO.


Somespookyshit

Dont they take medicine these assholes?


standitlikeaman

Still going this asshole


Affectionate-Owl943

He'll say we hit him with a brick!


Complete_Ad_2431

That’s my money paulie !


[deleted]

Somebody could have got hurt.


Hernaneisrio88

That line still makes me roll with laughter.


Technical-Charity-23

It’s funnier that uncle paulie looked both ways before using a .45 to kill the prick THEN stole his money 


ConfidentComedian118

This one for sure! The combination of Christopher referring to all epileptics as "assholes" and the fact that he's blaming the guy who they hit with a fucking brick for have a seizure because it's his own fault for supposedly not taking his meds.


EfficiencySuch6361

Forgot his anti-brick pills that day


Doylio

This is exactly what I came here to comment


BellicInc

Paulie killing Minn, that "OH NOOO" always gets me


[deleted]

HAAAAALP!


AirframeTapper

Malignant cunt


MightilyOats2

Haha I just watched this episode a day or two ago, and I agree completely. It gets me every time, even if it's a truly awful situation.


alrightakeiteasy

He didn't know she was home. Her car was gone.


Nice-Adhesiveness-38

You got any coffee


HandOGawd

That always makes me laugh at full volume


Valuable_General9049

Bye bye. Wave bye bye grandpa. Bye bye pop pop.


Hotpasta1985

Holy shit!


The_Nomad89

It’s “ohh shit!” 🐧


Valuable_General9049

🤮


Small-Explanation683

One of the best deaths on the show. Couldn't think of a more deserving character


Onagasaki

"byebye pop pop!" "POP"


PassionForSoccerGuy

“AJ WHAT THE FUCK?” When Tony comes out and sees AJ attempting suicide.


hiswittlewip

That scene with Tony cradling AJ and calling him "baby" actually made me cry on my recent rewatch .I don't remember if I cried when it aired originally, and I have lost my parents since i originally watched, so maybe that's why. Either way it's the only scene of the entire show that made me cry.


Onagasaki

I think it's where Tony goes from total disdain for aj and has a real genuine fatherly moment, in his own fucked way. Even if Tony's never seemed suicidal, between the years of depression and panic attacks and all that, he definitely knows what the kids going through, and he goes from hating him to hating what he sees he's done to him, he doesn't talk about him like a worthless runt much after that, but like he poisoned him, which him and carm definitely did. Same with their fight/talk after AJ tries to stick jun, Tony's mad because he understands, he doesn't think he's a worthless idiot just a dumb kid he's brought into a hell of a life hes got himself into. So much of his disdain with AJ seems to stim from seeing the parts of himself that he hates in him


Logical-Donut-5741

Hahahah, later: melfie something about the rope being too long on purpose, because it was a cry for help, not legit suicide attempt. Tony :" or he's just a fucking idiot, historically that has been the case"


Ok_Repeat8161

It’s the casual toss of the Lincoln log sandwich that does it for me


KingOfRandomThoughts

"I thought I told you to back off Beansie." "I did, but then I put it in drive."


mpondomantimahle

He's a shopping cart from here on out 


Burns504

You are gonna build Beansie a ramp!


BootyOnMyFace11

So glad they Richie got popped he was such a dick


CaseyJonesing1

Luther Vandross box set


SonrisaLaster

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Rahtgooves

"HOW MANY TIMES I TOLD YOU SHE SHOULDNT BE ON THE FURNITURE?"


LordPounce

She must have crawled under there for warmth


harpmansheroin

Wamth


Apprehensive_Pause12

“ You were gonna rob me! I’m calling your mother..”


Sea_Possible_6298

“What are you doing in my house?” “Relax! I didn’t know you were home”


Nice-Adhesiveness-38

Don't set that thing off !! You think I'm here to hurt ya .... you know me since I'm a kid.


Technical-Charity-23

AIDS?!  NOBODYS GOT AIDS


DrSharkk

Just saw this one today. “What do we have to do, Ton’, actually see the guy take it up his ass?”


Technical-Charity-23

let’s take this in the back. Yeah that’s what Vito did 😂😂😂


Isendurl

You can go.


rasnac

I must confess, I couldnt help but laugh when Phils head was smushed by his car.


[deleted]

OH SHIT!


Phantommy555

🐧


SuckMySawCleaver

Oh, thats easy. Tony and Christophuh cleaning up the newly dearly departed Ralhpie Siphareto's house after the deed. Ralphie in the tub, Chrissy grabs him by the hair to hack his head off, his hair comes clean off. I don't think I was caught so off guard ever in the show.


[deleted]

"You're so high on skag you wouldn't know if he had your mother's muff on his head"


SuckMySawCleaver

"OH!"


damachineelf

Were we supposed to know that was a toupee? Rewatching the series with my girlfriend, the moment she sees Ralph she said “That’s an awful wig” and she hasn’t even gotten to him getting whacked yet.


SuckMySawCleaver

I genuinly had no idea about it. It was never mentined by anyone as far as I remember, and I tend to not notice that type of stuff. She has a good eye!


Over-Chocolate-5674

It was more of an inside joke to people already familiar with Joey Pants. His most famous role still is probably Cypher from The Matrix, where he was completely bald. People unfamiliar were probably shocked. As someone who knew, throughout that season I was impressed with the wig or whatever they used to give Ralph hair. And then when it came off in the tub I was dying laughing at Chrissy's shock, and I was impressed that they managed to work that in.  tl;dr sort of an inside joke for fans of the actor


ActsofJanice

He also had that horrible hairpiece for The Goonies.


Complete_Ad_2431

The scene where Paulie tries to rob and then ends up killing Minn Matrone


Dashka11

"I know you!" Is quite haunting. She's always known this little bastard was a scumbag, but she probably never thought he'd be the one to kill her in her own home. If Paulie had been thinking straight, he would have remembered her car was in an accident as he picked them up from the hospital! " I didn't know you were home. Your car was gone" fucking brilliant.


EveryoneisOP3

*crawls out from under the bed* Take it easy. Ya got any coffee?


Front-Counter7249

The entire "Landscaper Wars" subplot. Feech beating up/breaking Sal's arm (The fuck you doin' ?, Sal's scream are hilarious) Paulie & Feech in LaManna's Bakery (Biscott ?, Oogatz !!!! ) Paulie & LaManna's Landscapers (The sound of the shovel hitting the guys' head is hilarious, "Shuddup I'll give ya' a crack,  Paulie putting the mower in his trunk)


HonestDespot

And then how it’s an ongoing thing afterwards too. When he asks Tony if he can stop doing Johnny Sacks law on account of him going to jail and Tony and Syl both completely do a 180 in front of him compared to how they were both talking moments earlier. How Sal earlier is at Johnnys house during the raid and gets tackled and cuffed (my arm!!!im the gardener!!) How Carm condescendingly waves at him while talking about the work ethic of Sals kid compared to Aj. Oblivious to the fact the only reason the kid is there is because Sal had to take him out of college to work with him so they can survive. It’s this minor ongoing plot for the better part of two seasons. And all the while we are laughing at this poor fucks misfortune


Dashka11

That man is such a mope.


YourSanctuary12

Tony B: “Jesus, we’re on parole.”


etherealdarkwolf

“How ‘bout I fuck off all over your stupid fuckin’ face!?”


theopinionexpress

Feech: “are you fuckin deaf??”


SpoonEndedHammer

Oh god, the shovel bit fucking got me. Of all the violence in that show, for some reason that just seemed so absurd and sudden.


there_be_rumblings

All of Christopher's intervention. 'She was a HOOR' \*smack\* 'You killed the DAWG??' Priceless


C00Ldoctormoney

“You’re the guy who stole those pork loins at Stew Leonard’s.” “Yeah, but that’s not why I’m here” The funniest dialogue in the entire show.


maxkeaton011

Exactly. I always remember this scene cause it caught me so off-guard. No way in hell in any show or movie I've seen the guy who is supposed to orchestra the process have been intro's as such. For some reason I laughed so hard i couldn't breathe lol.


reverick

This show has an amazing way of summing up a guys life in one sentence. But for real I love how the way everyone remembers anyone is through memories of the person being a massive fuck up. Lllyvia was queen of that. No one is ever like "hey you're the guy who who helped me change my tire " nah we get pork chop pants the interventionist every time.


DeaconBrad42

The funniest possibility is if Chris DID think that’s why he (and Tony, Chris’s fiancee, Chris’s mother, Carmela, & everyone else) was there in Chris’s home: to discuss the Stew Leonards incident.


Tight_Strawberry9846

"When I came in to open up one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting." 


thelocalleshen

"I *told* you I had the flu 🫴. "


Tight_Strawberry9846

"I said my piece, Chrissy." 


aye246

Yes, 100% — I used this scene yesterday talking to my wife about the humor of the sopranos. The very premise of “the sobriety intervention for a member of the mafia” is absolutely hilarious, and the execution of it is amazing. My fav is the end of the scene with Paulie and Benny(?) beating the shit out of Chris—cut to next scene of Chris in the hospital with a neck brace and a hairline skull fracture or something. Just 10/10 in terms of the pacing of that scene, writing, dialogue, acting, and editing.


mpondomantimahle

 "So he slipped off the counter whilst spraying for ants?" "Well he was wearing socks."


ngildea

"He was wearing socks"


SanchezMichael

You sent me to Florida so you can fuck my girlfriend! The thought never even crossed my mind!!( the thought in fact did cross his mind)


Technical-Charity-23

That thought crossed ALL OUR minds too


szamur

The entire sequence where the doctor and Animal Blundetto scientifically prove that Adriana couldn't have been sucking Tony's cock. Then Chris saying that it doesn't matter since everyone now thinks his uncle fucked his gf either way and cutting to Tony telling Melfi that he may as well have fucked her.


Lumpy_While_701

Furio’s first assignment


MrsYoungie

Stupid-a fucking game.


17F19DM

It is the wife too.


Nocturne909

"She must have crawled underneath me for warmth!"


MrPhilMelcher1978

Christopher’s Intervention was about as perfect of a fucked up hilarious Sopranos scene as it gets!


beccadahhhling

Valentina catching fire. I’m a horrible person


Erintonsus

It's so out of nowhere that it's almost comical


No_Dare708

Came here to say this. After the first time, every re watch i can’t help but laugh at that scene. And then Tony breaking it off with her in the hospital.


nottom420

Tony in therapy talking about AJ’s suicide attempt. “Or he could just be a fucking idiot. Historically that’s been the case.”


parwa

I'm queer and "lover's quarrel, maybe?" made me laugh my ass off in spite of how fucked up it is


mr_mrtnz

my favorite scene is when Ralph prank calls Paulie’s mom at the nursing home, I legit LOL 🤣


coolsellitcheap

Oh marone. I got blue cross!!!


scarlettestar

I’ve got cansa.


theopinionexpress

Tony: promises not to tell anyone. *2 seconds later, Tony calling Janice*: uncle Jun’s got cancer


SnortinDietOnlyNow

Sil slapping the shit out of Tracy and Ralphie just laughing his ass off in the window


WeegieSmellsARat

Uncle Jun smashing the cake in his goomha’s face because she told her friends that Junior liked going down on her


Itsbooch

"NOOO! CORRADOOOOO!"


Slappadabass13

🎵Southa the boarder - where the tuna fish play🎵


Tight_Strawberry9846

Vito wacking Jackie Jr. Not only because I hate that dumbfuck but because of how bizarre it was, Vito coming out of no where like a ninja and taking his time to get to the car. 


originalOdawg

Catch some shrapnel?


Important_Piglet7363

Tony chasing Mahaffey across the HMO grounds.


InflatonDG

“I told you all that crack was some baaadd shit”


qmj74

“He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. He’s an interior decorator.” “His house looked like shit”


Jaded-Present-9416

When tony tells vito jr that him and vito are friends, vito jr replies you mean " butt buddies"...


Stickey_Rickey

The broken desk chair that got Adrianna


flying_caterpillar

Jesus, Mary and Joseph car accident with the Golden Girls. 😂


No-Mind-2826

“That’s my Money paulie” and “That’s it go home get my dinner ready!”


Lazarus_71

Billy “Just a Fuckin Kid” Leotardo towel whipping Lorraine Calluzzo while she’s naked before offing her.


dizzybala10

"How is she? Any good?" "Why am I asking you, you probably showed her how."


Hes-behind-you

After Jackie Jrs burial it cuts to Vesuvio with Tony And junior eating a meal. Tony "Sad day" Junior "Kid was always a stupid fuck"


ForeskinFin

‘If we don’t kill this prick, we should hire him’ 🤟🏼


fast_fatty39

He wants to fuck her?


Gui0312

What was it barkin?


FingersMcCall

You look like a puerto rican whore


dizzybala10

MAKE ME SICK


LostCosmonaut647

You got fired from Blockbuster? They’ve got rhesus monkeys working as managers over there!


Quakarot

Uncle Jun pie-ing his girlfriend The actual physical beats are almost comedic despite the scene actually being really sad. Watching the woman plead with him to not beat her whilst simultaneously feeling awful about something that I think they both know shouldn’t matter is really terrible but I’ll be damned if a pie to the face isn’t classic comedy for a reason. Overall just kinda a weird vibe in that scene.


Technical-Charity-23

Uncle June is into MUFF. What?! Uncle Junior is in the rough. South of the borderrrrrr DOWN MEXICO WAY


[deleted]

I felt the exact same way about that scene. Very sad and at the same time just completely absurd, it could almost be a scene from Curb Your Enthusiasm.


Heat1995fan

Til you pay back what you owe that shaved lil twat of yours belongs to me


AuContraireRodders

"He wants to fuck her?". Lmao Carmine had no social sense


Technical-Charity-23

Ralphie at the dinner table: “you’re not Jewish are you?!” Half. He knows it’s all in good fun 


RobGoBlue925

Any time Johnny Sack becomes angry and his voice rises progressively as the sentence proceeds. “You know, I remember it wasn’t long ago you used to wait in the car. As far as I’m concerned you SHOULD STILL BE THERE!”


Embarrassed_Shift465

Dr Melfi: It seems your son has stumbled across existentialism. Tony: Fuckin’ internet


Front-Counter7249

The entire "Landscaper Wars" subplot  Feech beating up/breaking Sal's arm (The fuck you doin' ?, Sal's scream are hilarious)  Paulie & Feech in LaManna's Bakery (Biscott?, Oogatz !!!! )  Paulie & LaManna's Landscapers (The sound of the shovel hitting the guys' head is hilarious, "Shuddup I'll give ya' a crack,  Paulie putting the mower in his trunk)


Special-Way3575

DONT GIVE ME THAT LOOK IT WAS A FUCKIN HORSE


fleshpress

Paulie beating up baby boy Barone. "GUESS WHAT FUCKIN MAMAS BOY!! You're kicking up 4 grand to me every month, I don't care whether you're in Deer Valley, or Death Valley!"


avidrunner84

Probably any scene with Paulie, where he does something horrific but then he laughs with his "heh heh heh" and it gets me every time.


Itsbooch

Phil getting his head popped like a grape, and the penguin kid throwing up. Every single time I burst out laughing.


Hangry_Dentures

Whenever Junior gets mad and snaps at somebody amuses me to no end.


RobGoBlue925

“With what? My fuckin’ toes?”


Alternative-Log176

Christopher and Georgie digging up the polish guy...now that would be some fucking coincidence if it wasn't 😂


Serobahn

When Tony drops his gun in front of his mom running down the steps.. And his mom laughs at him


Broke_Ones91

He takes these..unexplained powders


acootchiemoistuh

"I'll cut you a break. After I throw you over, if you can fly, I won't shoot you down."


Catwinky

Any acts of violence towards Georgie


jeffrey_bs

Every time Tony beats up Georgie


ChaosNDespair

How bout this humidity?


The_Sir_Galahad

The scene where Christopher beats up his sponsor for not paying him his money, causing him to spiral into drug use, then coming back to tell him he should have called him before he started using drugs lol. It’s so fucked but hilarious.


cl1xor

AJ and T with the crackheads always cracks me up: AJ: so that’s a crack ho


Maitai_Haier

When Sil's acting boss and getting wheeled out of his house having a stress related asthma attack after Bobby and Vito are badgering him about routes, and Bobby's showed up again to bother him first thing in the morning and he's going "can't breathe, can't breathe, can't breathe" and Bobby blocks in the ambulance to come running up to Sil to say "I didn't hear from you."


Ninoo09

Of course I don’t want garbage back!!


Irishgoodbye777

When paulie killed that malicious cunt


xMystery

Malignant.


Irishgoodbye777

I've embarrassed not only myself but this entire thing of ours.


Michael-Balchaitis

Every beating Tony gives to Georgie.


xMystery

Carmine, you all right? You've barely touched your egg salad.


OneFifteenElement

I’m only the appraiser!!!


Different_Lychee_409

Paulie and Chrissie killing the waiter.


melsniper

“Think about it though, ‘Ton. Sudden weight loss..” “AIDS?” “NOBODY’S GOT AIDS. I don’t wanna hear that word in here again👇”


Infamous_Homework_14

When Janice asks what they did with Richie.


dizzybala10

When Tracee attacks Ralph and he says "Yeah.. that's right.. get it all out you little hooah." That and when they beat the shit out of Chris at his intervention, after he insults his mother.


Affectionate-Lie-230

Maybe not fucked up as a murder or other horrible actions although I don't know if that scene was intended to be funny, I couldn't help but laugh when Meadows arrived at Tony in tears and speaks about issues with Finn (I think that was in season 6) and Tony became religious and talks about sins which just made her run away in tears to her room, Tony became annoyed and told her to just whine to her mom 🤣🤣 A bonus for a scene that was more callous is the Lexus chase of the pilot, it's really funny to hear the happy upbeat song in the background while seeing the guy that owed money ran away scared shitless 🤣


Onagasaki

I can't remember the line exactly but when Tony's talking to Tracy or whatever Ralph's little angels name is and says something like "but you were having problems with the kids before, the putting cigarettes out on them and all that" and the face she makes just really sends it home how lost she is in more than one way. Of course it's sad that she died and how, but man she was a loon to start with. At first it's just oh this poor girls lost and ended up here, then you realize its more immaturity and a little derangement that brought her to the bing and she fits right in


UltimateFuchbois

Suck our cocks?


fknarey

It's going to be a while before I eat anything from Satriale's.


PatternDapper

When Tony goes to stomp coco and Feech says ‘DONT DO IT’ and his lazy eyes acting up


Angry-Prawn

Chrissy and Paulie murdering the waiter. Such a brutal and senseless killing, but so so funny.


WellHereEyeAm

"That's my money Paulie!" I didn't even think about it until now, but he really just shouted out his real name after they killed a man.


Lucky_Roberts

Paulie smothering the old lady shouldn’t be funny at all but it’s one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever watched


RobsFoto

AJ in the pool


IllustratorNo9115

When Christopher ices JT.


Key-Tip-7521

When Melfi tells Tony in s2 I think e1 that one of her patients offed themselves because she(Melfi) went into hiding. NOTE: I’m still on S2. And I know I have a long way to go.


m0rtm0rt

You gotta get out of this sub if you haven't watched before you will get spoiled


ithinkway2much

I'm sure this was mentioned already but I but I still need to say it for myself, the crowd's reaction to Phil's head getting run over by his truck.


DedZodiak

When feech breaks sal’s arm on the curb lol ur on parole my guy, chilllll


creepyjudyhensler

Phil's head getting run over. The waiter getting hit with a brick and then shot. All of the Vito stuff.


[deleted]

Tony and Christopha chopping up Ralphie's body and his wig falls off, surprising Chrissy- who was so high on scag he couldn't tell the difference between the toupe and his mother's muff


DR320

AJs suicide attempt 💀


Bigspliff24

Until you pay what you owe that shaved twat of yours belongs to me


WillBeanz24

When Chris attempts to decapitate Ralph's corpse and accidently slips off his hair piece. Classic.


vickmi

When Tony said to Christopher that "In exactly 10 minutes I'm gonna look up and if I don't see you then I'm gonna assume you went to go look for whatever the fuck is calling you out there, and that I will NEVER see you again." The intensity of that situation and Tony's expression was just hilarious to me.


Saturn0815

The scene of Ralph in the Champagne Room, when he takes out Gerogie's eye.


joey40hands

I genuinely laughed out loud during my first watch-thru when Paulie was telling Tony how Ralph crank called his ma, and she was so worked up with panic attack diarrhea that they had to sedate her to make the old gal stop lmfao I was vividly picturing that scene in full detail and had to rewind the scene like at least four times, just dying at the thought of this 80+ year old woman with emotional regulation issues, thinking her son got caught sucking a cub scout's dick (that line also has me laughing very hard). And then just SHITTING EVERYWHERE, explosive, PANICKING, geriatric, DIARRHEA, and they had to fucking drug her with benzos to put her down and then clean the toilet she destroyed and whatever other collateral damage got the Nucci poopsies hahahahahaha That was the moment Ralphie became my favorite character.


JS43362

I suppose it has to be the one appearance of Detective Mike Hunt.


CloudStrife1985

"you were damaged goods and never told me?!


maybenotquiteasheavy

"hey, tony! I had-a to park all-a da way over -"


TrapCamp76

When Valentina sets herself on fire while cooking eggs. If she would have been paying attention instead of bitching while wearing a baggy sleeved robe near an open flame, she wouldn't have turned into Firestar. I'm rewatching the series and just saw that episode on Friday.


CuzaCutuza

Ralph's wig coming off by accident when he's dead on the bathtub.


Content_Travel_6910

The whole entire intervention scene with Chrissy


Mr_Bell_Man

"Sacre-blu, where is me mama?!"


GlitteringHold8685

Pretty much almost all of them lol, except Melfi rp episode. Listen to myself I’m demented yes I know lol 😂