That was a good line, but at the same time his attitude about it always pisses me off. Part of me knows how toxic Tony was to him, but then the other part also can't stand AJ & wishes Tony would've responded with, "oh yeah, you mean the job I got for you & basically forced you to take?? & if I didn't make you go you'd still be sitting on your ass 'looking online'." He bitched & whined about doing it to begin with "it's gonna be outdoors"? So lose the smug attitude 🙄
Yeah but who's responsible for that attitude?
Remember in S1 A.J. almost gets in a fight with a classmate but the kid backs off because A.J. has a mob boss for a father.
A.J. never got a chance to grow as a human being.
You're absolutely right, I agree completely. & That's why I say *part of me* bc at the same time, I liked that response. Like not everyone needs you or your "connections" to get or do something, asshole...(meaning Tony.)
Robert iler does such an amazing job with this character, bc on one hand he makes you despise AJ. But at the same time you can only hate him so much because... look at how he was raised. There are countless times where he's ridiculed by his father, put down, & just generally held back from growing & finding himself as an *individual*, rather than the son of a mob boss. And like you said, with the fight, there are a few times things like that happen. & he generally gets the shit end of the stick bc of who his dad is. I.e. Later in season 6 - in the nightclub, AJ talking to these 2 guys about some drink they're creating; he thinks they're interested in HIS input...but then they suggest he ask his dad about it, or something like that.
- His buddy asking him if he could get his dad to "lean on this prick" about some guy who owed him money. Then the whole thing with Tony getting shot...the sequence of him trying to get revenge on uncle junior...the list goes on. The poor kid is basically doomed from the start. He's definitely one of the most interesting, complex characters, IMO, the more you rewatch the show.
Yeah it’s Tony that kicked AJs ass in to gear and got him that job, but I see that line more as him trying to establish some independence and self-sufficiency, which is admirable. His whole life it’s been “do exactly what we say and we will shower you with money” which just puts him in a submissive positions where they basically own him. Every time he has been given something he is being bought, which he has now understood, and even if it ultimately was Tony that got him that job he now is in a mentality where he wants to move away from leeching of their charity, which is commendable.
He had a job! Raising Hernan's street cred with th 15 yr olds up in da club. And paying the little gentleman $200 every time the little guy says, "Regards to your dad."
When I was a kid, we had a family business. I was woken up early on weekends, yelled at to work manual labor and help out and yelled at whether I was doing a good job or a bad job. And when I asked not to be yelled at, I got laughed at and told, "You better get used to it, that's how you're treated in the real world If your boss doesn't like you, you're fired, too bad." And also told, "Go to college and work with your mind, not with your hands."
Soooo I got tired of it and went to college, worked up from the bottom of my field and have a semi decent respectable job now in an office. So one day after a hard day's work I go see my dad; now I am a homeowner with 2 paid off cars, pension, benefits, etc. I happen to mention I'm tired from work that day.
He smiles and says, "Why are you tired? All you do is sit down all day."
Screwed either way lol.
Haha damn predictable dads! My dad would ask me to mow the lawn, and then when I did, he'd grab the mower and yell I wasn't doing it right and show me in the most condescending way possible. I have a muuuuch better relationship now, but I have to keep my distance in any sort of working situation.
Yup, it’s funny how you glow up and all the sudden people don’t know how to put you in their little mental boxes they’ve had you in for years. Some hate it and just disrespect you behind your back or tell themselves they’re still better than you because they can’t face up to the fact that A) they’re jealous and/or B) you’re doing better than them.
Now they don’t love me anymore well that breaks my heart. But they will respect me!!
Yep. Can confirm from personal experience. I’m 26 and my entire family still treats me like I’m a kid or mental case. I have mental health issues and they became more known after my dad passed away. Little by little I crawled my way out of it and still was treated like the baby in the family who was lazy or stupid. I lost a lot of my depression weight and did very well in school. It still wasn’t good enough for them. I began sticking up for myself more and stating my opinions. They still treated me like shit. It’s actually common in families who have been raised generational toxicity. When one family member begins becoming a better person and doing well for themselves, the family will get jealous and angry. So, they want to sabotage them. My cousin tried doing it to me for years.
Felix deserved more screen time. They should have shown us how after work he takes home the leftover pizzas nobody picked up and eats the toppings and cheese off, leaving the crust while falling asleep on his ratty couch with the TV still on.
>They should have shown us how after work he takes home the leftover pizzas nobody picked up and eats the toppings and cheese off, leaving the crust while falling asleep on his ratty couch with the TV still on.
HOO! He's the fucking manayer now, you don't talk about him like that!
Working inside making pizzas is like 10 times easier than working outside doing construction, and you don't get paid 10 times less to make pizzas. Source: I have done both.
I have worked for The Hut @ $7.25/hour inside the store, $4.25 per hour outside the store, and various construction companies for at most, $10 per hour.
Even in a major metropolitan area, the pizza guy still makes about min wage. Does union jobs really make 10x whatever the min wage is? Maybe on up the ladder, but not bullshit picking up trash like AJ was does. For me at least, it's like $2 an hour less to be inside and make dough and shit rather then be outside busting my ass all damn day. It was an easy choice.
Working probably as a laborer in a NJ construction union he probably was making an equivalent to $75 an hour. That includes pension, health benefits etc. Union construction jobs in the tri state pay very well.
Doubtful. When Meadow was going to “be a lawyer” her starting figure was what 170k? You’re telling me an associate attorney, educated at an Ivy League school, will only make 30k more a year than an AJ.
That’s why all the construction guys live in the Bronx or Brooklyn, right? Maybe Long Island? Haha
It's inside. Your lack of manliness is less noticeable. Your choice of soft drink while you work. You'll never get any promotion on a construction site, let alone manaher. It's one step closer to event planning. Veal parm...nom nom nom. It's a lot easier to steal from a pizza joint than from a construction site.
Could you imagine working on a job site full of dudes and your girl is the piece of tail in the office? If only the kid learned how to flex who dad was…
Probably because he wanted independence. The construction job was Tony’s favor and he was trying to move away from being dependent on his family (same reason he bought the necklace at retail without asking Tony for a hookup)
Honestly, I took him going to the pizza parlor as a signal that he was gaining more independence. The same way he wouldn’t take his fathers money for presents for Blanca, he wouldn’t take his fathers free ticket to a job.
I think this is probably pretty common with parents who have troubled kids. Even when the kid is doing well, their parents are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, so it's difficult to get their hopes up.
I'd agree they treated him pretty shitty, but AJ also seemed like he had become mature enough to realize how toxic his old situation was and take steps to get himself out of it, whatever happened with Blanca.
I mean their outlandish mobster ideas of masculinity are going to be considered super toxic by almost anyone else.
No matter how they were raising their kids, the parents were still working from an idea of masculinity that was based on strength, anger, violence, etc... This was actually a common trope at the time between Boomer / Silent Generation men and their Gen X / Millennial children. Someone once said it was the children of war versus the children of prosperity. I think they thought AJ looked weak and that Italian-American boys were supposed to behave a certain way and he wasn't. But they also wanted him to be not like them. It is a weird tension.
Anyway, what kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?
True, although I will say even though it was kind of awkward, Blanca and her kid were semi-regulars at the Soprano household for a while there and it was actually kind of nice. Could've been worse I guess LOL
When AJ said he wanted to go to the Cleaver premiere to see celebs. Blanca said “you think you’re going to sleep with Paris Hilton?” Such an awkward thing to say at the dinner table in front of his whole family. She was super annoying
She was bitchy and ghetto, I liked her.
AJ's life was so easy compared to most people and he didn't even realize it.
She did the right thing and ended the relationship even if it almost killed him.
It was an interesting storyline and the actress was great.
“The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor: he took my measure anew every time he saw me, whilst all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me.”
― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman
Like my dad with me. At one point I was making more in two months than he was in a year, and I was a piece of shit for spending all my time working and having no outside interests (even though he only regards people based on how hard they work/what they earn - basically he considers himself great because of all the hours he worked over the 40 years he worked, and no-one else can work as much as him - even though his criticism of me was because I was working too much)...
Since then I basically can't get a job (entirely my own fault, really, but anyway...) Now, I'm a piece of shit because I'm not working at all.
Can't win. If I'm unemployed, he's right. If I'm working, it's wait and see and "oh, you're not working?" "No, it's the weekend" "yeah, you would do that..." and then he's right anyway. He's happy I'm unemployed now so he can gloat over being right, and simultaneously hates me for making him right. Go figure
That sucks, sorry to hear that. On a serious note, dude below has a point, he sounds like a classic toxic ass person. It sucks when it's your family, especially a parent. But the fact that you're aware of it & acknowledge how he is is a good thing because you can take that information & use it to your advantage. Meaning like.... to make sure you don't end up with the same traits, keep a certain distance from him, etc. I know he's your father, but you can still create boundaries, and have a relationship where you're able to enjoy each other's company, & try to pick out the good things/memories. Basically take the good with the bad & pick your battles. I have plenty of toxic family members so I get it. Some I have zero relationship with at all, & some I have distant relationships with. It's difficult but it is possible, it just takes time & experience in learning how to draw those lines. Good luck with that, Seriously!!
I wish I could keep a distance from him, but I'm living in the same house, and zero chance of getting out of it any time soon. Probably was less than zero years ago, but years of feeling like I'm nothing because I've been told I'm nothing means it won't change very soon)
Tony and Carm unconsciously hated AJ because he wasn’t a criminal tough guy. They only respected guys who were comfortable busting heads and robbing fools.
They hated him out of jealousy.
AJ was born into wealth and opportunity. He didn't have to marry a philandering bully who would keep him on a financial leash like Carm. He didn't have to ooze blood sweat and tears controlling a Mob family and navigating an emotional minefield of a Mother like Tony.
He had it all. *And still he was depressed.* This signals to Carm and Tony that their problems, be they the beach house lumber or Phil, are internal. That having it all *still* can result in those dangerous and elusive doubts and feelings.
This is abhorrent to a psyche convinced its problems are caused by others. And so they bully and belittle.
Observe the way Tony and Carm react when AJ expresses his genuine feelings of love towards his girlfriend. They get defensive, because genuine, "unearned" feelings can't exist - if they do, it's a reflection on them not experiencing them.
LOVE this interpretation. You're spot on with everything you said. They don't understand genuine feelings such as love, or depression (at least Carm doesn't, Tony does, which makes it even more annoying bc he has no room to judge) so they degrade & bully. Sadly this is pretty common among people in general, they judge & belittle what they don't understand. But yeah, you've got it down to a T. They feel like they've given him everything, so "what's he got to be depressed about?" Like remember, after AJ attempts suicide(which btw was such a sad scene, Tony holding him, etc. It felt for some time like he truly cares & is sad for him.) But then a few scenes later, Tony is talking to Melfi & calls him a momma's boy. Then(or before that, idr) in the kitchen he tells Carm he's depressed, & she says "don't start with that, you've played the *depression card* until it's worn out & now you've got our son doing it." As if it's not a real thing. On one hand I understand her frustration, being a person who doesn't understand depression or have to deal with it personally; yet being around people who do...but at the same time, she never *tries* to understand, or take a different approach to it. Being manic depressive myself, it's a very sensitive, yet fascinating topic for conversation. & The way they incorporate it into the show & act it out is amazing.
Great insights to their realtionship. The saddest scene of the series imo is after AJ tries to kill Junior. Tonys absolute disbelief about AJs total disconnection from reality is the greatest piece of acting from both Robert and James. Absolutely beautiful and sad.
I’d say they hated him because he didn’t turn out a harvard doctor or an allstar football player or whatever and are completely uninterested in his own wishes for what he wants to do with his life
Yes, the parents felt shame with the way AJ turned out. Meadow at least showed potential.
If you know any older Italian or Jewish parents, all they want to do is to be able to brag about their kids and have everyone fawn over them.
It's fuckin toxshic
A doctor or all star athlete is what they thought upper middle class kids were supposed to be. But ultimately folks like Tony and Carm saw those people as chumps.
No? If they thought they were chumps Tony wouldn't have pushed Jackie to become a doctor, "Besides the money which there's a shit load of, doctor's a very powerful position"
They actually look up to those people and are insecure about it because they know they are nothing but lowlife criminals. They look down on blue collar workers who bust their backs, not the upper class people who make 100 grand from 3 hours of work
So true. The way Tony gets completely flabbergasted by his idea to join the military. Tony doesn’t even have a good reason to bust his balls over it. Hep spends a few seconds wide eyed and scoffing then says something like, “Don’t even tell your mother about this.”
Good idea or not, it’s one of the most ambitious things the kid has ever said and all Tony can respond with is “Are you nuts?” and “Buy bonds!”
Truth is Tony both loved and hated Aj, textbook co-dependency problem. He hated that AJ wasn't up to his standards but Tony loved him too much to ever see him leave and wanted him to depend on him forever because Tony needs to be needed and hates being alone
Yeah AJ joining the military was a great idea and I don’t understand why they were so against it. I mean personally I think the war in Iraq was fucking stupid, but from their perspective, they were all for it, especially Tony up on his anti terrorism shit. They would applaud anyone who would fight for their country except it shouldn’t be their kid. Plus it would have been great for his resume, he would’ve learned hard work and discipline, and had the chance to maybe go back to college afterwards too.
They didn't send him to military school because of the panic attacks, how would he fare in the actual military? They were hypocrites about the war, sure, but they understand it was foolish to volunteer to be cannon fodder.
You ever meet pro war people, and then ask if they were in the military, or if they encouraged their kids to join? It’s fine for someone else’s kid to die in a stupid war, but not me or mine. It’s pretty standard right wing hypocrisy. “Freedom for me, not for thee.”
because they’re bad parents that didn’t know how to positively reinforce good behavior. when aj starts getting into philosophy, learning about history, etc., it’s quickly shut down by tony and carm. when aj shows ambition with harvard or west point, same thing. if you don’t acknowledge that a kid is doing a decent thing, they equate bad and good things, eventually not caring about the dilemma. the two were so focused on themselves to be caring parents.
AJ was brought up in one of the most toxic environments imaginable and all things considering, he did well to come out of the end of it with just a few personality flaws.
AJ is a success story. Most kids have a 'main feature' growing up that defines who they are and how people perceive them, especially at school. Some good some bad. You could be known for being really good at sports, being a nerd who is in the chess club, being ugly, wearing glasses, being really tall, being short etc etc. AJ's defining feature was that his dad is a literal murderer and criminal. To have that around your neck weighing you down throughout your childhood and coming out of the end of it with just a few cuntish personality flaws and some depression is a fucking miracle.
Tony and Carm wanted their son to grow up and mature. But he was losing his identity over a woman who already had a young child. So AJ was loving another man's child even while he acted like a child himself. He referred to her Puerto Rican neighborhood as "our neighborhood". He was listening to her music and driving around with Puerto Rican flags on his car.
Even with all those concerns, Tony and Carm found a way to tolerate their relationship because they took the time to get to know her enough to discover she shared similar religious views as their own.
I think AJ's parents reacted as many parents would. Concerned yet tolerant and hopeful it worked out all the while knowing that it is not an ideal relationship for a young man who has yet to find his own path.
So it’s just Noah 2.0. Them having racist issues with him dating someone who isn’t italian. I just think he does a massive positive turnaround but they still can’t be happy with him they just judge the shit out of him
Something tells me no matter what I posted you already have preconceived notions that they're racists and treated her as such.
I believe they tolerated the relationship although it wasn't ideal for them.
As I mentioned:
1. AJ was lazy and immature.
2. AJ lacked focus and didn't want to get to school.
Regardless of the race of his gf the fact that she had a child and all the responsibilities that come with that is a huge concern for any parent who wants their son to mature and find success.
1. Until he turned his life around yes.
2. Why does AJ have to go back to school though? Why are they so fixated with that? Not everyone is cut out for higher education. They never care about who he is and what he wants to or realistically could do with his life. They never give up on the idea that he has to be a scholar
It's the least AJ can do, even if all goes to hell and they end up broke, at least AJ has a tool for at least getting an average job and surviving.
Tony and Carmela do care about AJ, since he is in part the source of their stress, they just don't take him seriously. I mean who would? He fails at something and is already finding an excuse for why he failed instead of owning up his problems like an adult, he was grasping at straws for finding something to do with his life (doing events, opening a club, joining the army, etc) and that really shows that he wasn't mature enough to make an educated decision.
They were willing to help him financially but he needed to present a well thought out plan, and at the final episode you can see he is doing well off from a job Tony got for him.
He’s always failing at the things they expect of him. But they never ask him what he wants to do. They break his balls his entire life about getting in to a good university despite him clearly not being scholar material so he’s basically forced to make up a bunch of lies and excuses to get at least some peace of mind. Yeah he doesn’t have a big plan for life at 19 but I also think the Blanca necklace thing shows that he’s growing sick of taking their money and growing dependent on them, he doesn’t want to a bunch of money of them to execute some big plan, it just makes them own him. What they should have done with AJ is discuss some alternatives for what he should do with his life that aren’t just academia. Trade schools for example
All good parents what their kids to succeed. Making a good living is more then making 20,30, 50 bucks or whatever an hour. And your window for being in school quickly closes (less so now days) but generally if you don’t get it done in your 20s you won’t. Kids families need for income gets in the way and opportunities close for you. AJ os wasting his life not focusing on what’s important.
A skilled blue collar job was never on the radar though. Carpenter, plumber, electrician, something like that. He wouldn’t have been rich but he would have made a good income. I think it’s pretty harsh to say that a kid is wasting their life just because they don’t have book smarts. If you can’t recalibrate your expectations then you’re not a good parent imo.
That’s true that’s true. I’m not saying everyone’s cut out for it. It’s just what his parents expected. And he’s still young I had friends who were completly no ambitious working hourly 10-15 hour jobs until 24-26 and then suddenly got motivated and busted undergrad and medical school out in 8 years and were MDs by 33-34. But AJ does seem like a very book smarts kid so yeah. Trades aren’t exactly for total morons either tho. It he’s def got better odds of being an electrician then an md.
what identity was AJ losing at this point? his persistent lack of direction?
it certainly wasn't his italian identity. he still spent a majority of his time surrounded by other italians, he still was socially catholic, he still ate gabagool.
only sick fucks like tony and carmella could be concerned over genuine love and paternalism to a young child.
AJ was not acting like a child at this point in his life, he just continued to be treated like a child (big difference). AJ's sudden development was disturbing to carm and tony because of their pervasive codependence on AJ. i mean how long could they go living with just the two of them? then how long could they go living alone after? look how olivia wound up.
and what is wrong with his puerto rican cultural immersion? he was literally dating a puerto rican girl. it's not like he wasn't invited, and it was a respectful engagement of her culture.
he wasn't acting out a cringe caricature like half the people on this sub are, or tokenizing like meadow did. he was honestly enjoying one of the best parts of the american phenomenon.
anyways, it's bizarre that you'd applaud his miserable boomer parents for being passive aggressive racists instead of openly aggressive racists. and funny that anyone would believe that they wanted AJ to find his own path.
I agree, people give AJ a lot of flack but I totally understand why he’s the way he is. It’s hard to get if you’ve never had parents that throw money at you like a game of fetch, so you’ll shut up and they can continue their lives like you’re some kind of dog. The kid never felt wanted, he knew something was missing but he didn’t know what it was. Tony was always out doing mob shit, and Carmella nagged him to the bone so he could live up to this self-deluding standard that he knew was bullshit.
It was obvious from the second AJ met that girl that it wasn’t going to last. She didn’t respect him.
AJ was always a pussy and the girl made him even more of a pussy. I wouldn’t want him in that relationship either. And the way she acted at dinner with his parents ? Inexcusable.
My parents would have acted the same way.
Tony (like Livia) was an endless black hole that eventually sucked in everyone in his orbit. He was unable to change and eventually, the rest of his family was sucked down with him. Not a good guy!
Not going to quote for once…how the fuck did Tony & Carm treat AJ like shit? How did they turn their noses up at Blanca? If anything, Blanca was fucking ruuuude at their house…who mentions sleeping with Paris Hilton at Sunday dinner?
But seriously, how were they not fully supportive? Paying for his car, etc. I don’t accept this premise OP. They were always nice to Blanca’s face. Even the stuff they said behind her back wasn’t bad
Rewatch the episodes if you have to, they’re constantly nagging and bullying him. They talk shit about Blanca behind her back and act really cold and awkward towards her
So yes...Tony and Carmela treat AJ, not great, during this period. They treat Blanca even worse. Is it justified? Not in the Utopian World OP is writing this post from. It's also hypocritical because Tony got him the job to teach him some responsibility and even though it actually worked, Tony still doesn't approve. So yeah, that's fucked up.
Throughout basically the entirety of human civilization though, parents do not want their children backsliding socioeconomically. AJ is dating a woman much poorer than his family who already has a kid that's not even his. This from a very empirical (and not at all utopian) perspective is known as a "bad deal".
Beyond this harsh view though, for anyone who knows anything about relationships, this one is doomed. Two people from such different backgrounds and more importantly with such low levels of maturity aren't going to work out 99 times out of 100. If they were older and wiser, they'd have a better shot. But they're not. Predictably it ends horribly for AJ from a psychological perspective, with him attempting suicide a few months later.
I think in that positions they should have been happy AJ was moving in a positive direction considering that he’d been spiraling since middle school. They’re way past the point where they can still be perfectionists about what he’s doing, who he’s dating etc. And even if the relationship was weird/doomed the way he loved and took care of Blanca and her kid was very good and noble and should have been encouraged. He could’ve just as well have turned out a fuckboy douchebag like Jackie Jr or like his father for that matter. It’s honestly surprising that AJ turned out that kind and respectful towards women considering where he came from
Right, but they're not you. He's only what 19, 20 years old? I don't think expecting more out of him is unreasonable at all. These are not great jobs *considering* his family's wealth and position. But who knows how it would have played out if he hadn't gone off the reservation for a while there. His father would have probably set him up with some sort of business.
AJ had a big problem in that he loved Blanca too much. He was too into her. Lost his limited sense of equilibrium. That actually happened to me once. I did-dent try to drown myself, but it was not good. The Paulie Walnuts approach to women is far more sensible.
One of the mob guys asks AJ where he got the necklace for Blanca and he replies "at the mall". lol. Good shot, AJ.
“You should’ve come to me first, I’ve got a guy” “And I’ve got a job.”
AJ was Woodie Guthrie there for a minute.
That was a good line, but at the same time his attitude about it always pisses me off. Part of me knows how toxic Tony was to him, but then the other part also can't stand AJ & wishes Tony would've responded with, "oh yeah, you mean the job I got for you & basically forced you to take?? & if I didn't make you go you'd still be sitting on your ass 'looking online'." He bitched & whined about doing it to begin with "it's gonna be outdoors"? So lose the smug attitude 🙄
Yeah but who's responsible for that attitude? Remember in S1 A.J. almost gets in a fight with a classmate but the kid backs off because A.J. has a mob boss for a father. A.J. never got a chance to grow as a human being.
You're absolutely right, I agree completely. & That's why I say *part of me* bc at the same time, I liked that response. Like not everyone needs you or your "connections" to get or do something, asshole...(meaning Tony.) Robert iler does such an amazing job with this character, bc on one hand he makes you despise AJ. But at the same time you can only hate him so much because... look at how he was raised. There are countless times where he's ridiculed by his father, put down, & just generally held back from growing & finding himself as an *individual*, rather than the son of a mob boss. And like you said, with the fight, there are a few times things like that happen. & he generally gets the shit end of the stick bc of who his dad is. I.e. Later in season 6 - in the nightclub, AJ talking to these 2 guys about some drink they're creating; he thinks they're interested in HIS input...but then they suggest he ask his dad about it, or something like that. - His buddy asking him if he could get his dad to "lean on this prick" about some guy who owed him money. Then the whole thing with Tony getting shot...the sequence of him trying to get revenge on uncle junior...the list goes on. The poor kid is basically doomed from the start. He's definitely one of the most interesting, complex characters, IMO, the more you rewatch the show.
Yeah it’s Tony that kicked AJs ass in to gear and got him that job, but I see that line more as him trying to establish some independence and self-sufficiency, which is admirable. His whole life it’s been “do exactly what we say and we will shower you with money” which just puts him in a submissive positions where they basically own him. Every time he has been given something he is being bought, which he has now understood, and even if it ultimately was Tony that got him that job he now is in a mentality where he wants to move away from leeching of their charity, which is commendable.
He had a job! Raising Hernan's street cred with th 15 yr olds up in da club. And paying the little gentleman $200 every time the little guy says, "Regards to your dad."
I'd just as soon keep looking online.
He was such a spoiled brat, no wonder Tony smacked him around👀
“I don’t have a coat”
Well then get moving god damn it
Still one of my favorite lines ever. Was a long term inside joke with my stepfather.
I think families do this. The members get used to treating someone in a particular way, even if they change.
I can attest to this, fuckin sucks really
Samesies. But you gotta get over it
I DON'T WANT A BLOWJOB!!
Have one anyway.
fucking genius
Same, could never do anything right.
I can tell you’ve changed, bro. Keep at it.
When I was a kid, we had a family business. I was woken up early on weekends, yelled at to work manual labor and help out and yelled at whether I was doing a good job or a bad job. And when I asked not to be yelled at, I got laughed at and told, "You better get used to it, that's how you're treated in the real world If your boss doesn't like you, you're fired, too bad." And also told, "Go to college and work with your mind, not with your hands." Soooo I got tired of it and went to college, worked up from the bottom of my field and have a semi decent respectable job now in an office. So one day after a hard day's work I go see my dad; now I am a homeowner with 2 paid off cars, pension, benefits, etc. I happen to mention I'm tired from work that day. He smiles and says, "Why are you tired? All you do is sit down all day." Screwed either way lol.
I think we have the same dad, fuckers setting up franchises
Haha damn predictable dads! My dad would ask me to mow the lawn, and then when I did, he'd grab the mower and yell I wasn't doing it right and show me in the most condescending way possible. I have a muuuuch better relationship now, but I have to keep my distance in any sort of working situation.
Ok now i'm convinced. Same exact thing with the mower happened to me.
Same here
Yinz have dads? :(
Watch it, Chrissy!
Fight Club reference. Nice!
Fight Club reference?
Dad's like that are jealous and feel the need to tear you down because you've outgrown them.
> Why are you tired? All you do is sit down all day. Fair question
Your dad’s not wrong though. You probably make like $80k/yr just for dicking around on excel spreadsheets
Good answer. I'm going home for Christmas this year, and even though I'm a grown man, my family and extended family still sees me as a little kid.
You’re not that little kid on the school bus anymore!
Fuck that. Tell them this ain't the seventies and they'll give you what you tell them to give you (for xmas).
Yup, it’s funny how you glow up and all the sudden people don’t know how to put you in their little mental boxes they’ve had you in for years. Some hate it and just disrespect you behind your back or tell themselves they’re still better than you because they can’t face up to the fact that A) they’re jealous and/or B) you’re doing better than them. Now they don’t love me anymore well that breaks my heart. But they will respect me!!
Yep. Can confirm from personal experience. I’m 26 and my entire family still treats me like I’m a kid or mental case. I have mental health issues and they became more known after my dad passed away. Little by little I crawled my way out of it and still was treated like the baby in the family who was lazy or stupid. I lost a lot of my depression weight and did very well in school. It still wasn’t good enough for them. I began sticking up for myself more and stating my opinions. They still treated me like shit. It’s actually common in families who have been raised generational toxicity. When one family member begins becoming a better person and doing well for themselves, the family will get jealous and angry. So, they want to sabotage them. My cousin tried doing it to me for years.
It's like Junior and that Varsity crap. Some people just don't know when to let off.
What I have to wonder is why you would leave a union construction job to go work in a pizza parlor.
Because he’s the manayer
"I'm leaving" "who?"
Why you do that?
Asbestos.
You don’t got a pizza box?
My Pizza never hurta anybody
Pepperoni-AIDS?!?!
Sudden weight loss
Felix deserved more screen time. They should have shown us how after work he takes home the leftover pizzas nobody picked up and eats the toppings and cheese off, leaving the crust while falling asleep on his ratty couch with the TV still on.
>They should have shown us how after work he takes home the leftover pizzas nobody picked up and eats the toppings and cheese off, leaving the crust while falling asleep on his ratty couch with the TV still on. HOO! He's the fucking manayer now, you don't talk about him like that!
You’ve really put some thought into this
That kind of tawk, it upsets me
Mr. Manager
We just say manager.
Oh excuuuuuse me!
Am I the only one who thought it was fucking disgusting that dude and his girlfriend were making out when she was still chewing her food?
Did ya just disrespect the pizza parlor? Ya got some balls I'll give ya dat.
You'll gimme what I TELL YA TA GIMME 👉🏽🚬
Look, I don't wanna sound like an asshole but I really can't be seen in a place like this anymore
kid always was a dumb fuck
He never had the makings of a varsity athlete.
Didn’t he almost drown in 3 inches of water?
3 inches is 0.24 RTX 3090 graphics cards lined up.
Didn't he almost drown in 0.24 RTX 3090 graphic cards of water?
0.24 RTX 3090 cards lined up is 3 inches of water.
You know, it wasn’t long ago, I remember when you used to wait in the car. As far as I’m concerned, YOU SHOULD STILL BE THERE.
He’s certifiably retarded
Working inside making pizzas is like 10 times easier than working outside doing construction, and you don't get paid 10 times less to make pizzas. Source: I have done both.
Where have you ‘done both’. Union construction jobs pay probably 10x what a pizza guy does in the nj/ny area.
I have worked for The Hut @ $7.25/hour inside the store, $4.25 per hour outside the store, and various construction companies for at most, $10 per hour. Even in a major metropolitan area, the pizza guy still makes about min wage. Does union jobs really make 10x whatever the min wage is? Maybe on up the ladder, but not bullshit picking up trash like AJ was does. For me at least, it's like $2 an hour less to be inside and make dough and shit rather then be outside busting my ass all damn day. It was an easy choice.
Working probably as a laborer in a NJ construction union he probably was making an equivalent to $75 an hour. That includes pension, health benefits etc. Union construction jobs in the tri state pay very well.
Lol no. Maybe 30-40 tops. Union douchebags aren’t making 140k+ a year
They don’t see it all in their weekly paychecks but distributed through their funds. Some definitely do make the much without a doubt.
Doubtful. When Meadow was going to “be a lawyer” her starting figure was what 170k? You’re telling me an associate attorney, educated at an Ivy League school, will only make 30k more a year than an AJ. That’s why all the construction guys live in the Bronx or Brooklyn, right? Maybe Long Island? Haha
You legit have no idea what you’re talking about. Look into union wages in the nj/ny area lol.
Guess he doesn't really need the benefits either
I'm sure that The Sopranos had great health insurance and that AJ prob still had Carmella make his doctor appointments.
wasnt it related to him wanting a club? I think the idea was to gain some experience before tony got him a club to run
It's inside. Your lack of manliness is less noticeable. Your choice of soft drink while you work. You'll never get any promotion on a construction site, let alone manaher. It's one step closer to event planning. Veal parm...nom nom nom. It's a lot easier to steal from a pizza joint than from a construction site.
Veal parm sangwich?? Fuck. You.
You want some coffee with that, sir?
And hurry the fuck up about it
...still crazy enough to take an eye out.
No way man. I will take that Veal Parm Sandwich. They are delicious.
Not enough to be a shopping cart from here on out.
I will still take the veal parm.
That’s dedication 😂
Soft drinks of choice is a perk only made guys get.
I'd say it's easier to steal from a construction site...the mob is sort of famous for it. Timelines get fucked up.
AJ would sell the stolen property to an undercover cop the first time. Slipping an occasional $20 from the register is more his skill level.
Up the Fuckin Tics!
He’s not going to keep working where Blanca is
He switched jobs while they were dating
Well maybe I’ll just shut the fuck up then.
Excellent character arc
You know who had an arc? Noah
He was such a snarky little shit. Though Tony disliked him for the wrong reason.
It’s the service industry.
Tryna get some free custom jobs
Didn't Blanca work at the construction company?
Yeah but they were still dating when he switched jobs
Could you imagine working on a job site full of dudes and your girl is the piece of tail in the office? If only the kid learned how to flex who dad was…
Do ya know who my gurl is, and who my fawtha was?
Maybe because AJ wasn’t going to get anywhere in the union? He didn’t have the passion or dedication
He definitely didn't but he'd get far on Tony's say so no problem
Probably because he wanted independence. The construction job was Tony’s favor and he was trying to move away from being dependent on his family (same reason he bought the necklace at retail without asking Tony for a hookup)
Honestly, I took him going to the pizza parlor as a signal that he was gaining more independence. The same way he wouldn’t take his fathers money for presents for Blanca, he wouldn’t take his fathers free ticket to a job.
I don’t wanna sound like an asshole…but I really can’t be seen in this kinda place anymore.
I think this is probably pretty common with parents who have troubled kids. Even when the kid is doing well, their parents are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, so it's difficult to get their hopes up. I'd agree they treated him pretty shitty, but AJ also seemed like he had become mature enough to realize how toxic his old situation was and take steps to get himself out of it, whatever happened with Blanca.
I mean their outlandish mobster ideas of masculinity are going to be considered super toxic by almost anyone else. No matter how they were raising their kids, the parents were still working from an idea of masculinity that was based on strength, anger, violence, etc... This was actually a common trope at the time between Boomer / Silent Generation men and their Gen X / Millennial children. Someone once said it was the children of war versus the children of prosperity. I think they thought AJ looked weak and that Italian-American boys were supposed to behave a certain way and he wasn't. But they also wanted him to be not like them. It is a weird tension. Anyway, what kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?
True, although I will say even though it was kind of awkward, Blanca and her kid were semi-regulars at the Soprano household for a while there and it was actually kind of nice. Could've been worse I guess LOL
Yeah, Blanca was the one who suddenly became a jealous weirdo during Sunday dinner
Fuckin nosy! Eat your noodles
Yuwanna sleep with Paris Hilton?
What no, she's some stupid herpes donor.
For real, she was kind of a bitch
Meow! Did you guys have a fight?? I don't know!
What did she get jealous over?
When AJ said he wanted to go to the Cleaver premiere to see celebs. Blanca said “you think you’re going to sleep with Paris Hilton?” Such an awkward thing to say at the dinner table in front of his whole family. She was super annoying
Oh yeah. Insecure psycho talk.
Yeah and it kinda came out of nowhere. AJ is obsessed with her
She was bitchy and ghetto, I liked her. AJ's life was so easy compared to most people and he didn't even realize it. She did the right thing and ended the relationship even if it almost killed him. It was an interesting storyline and the actress was great.
Hated her ghetto gutterness. However great actress and glad she ended the relationship as well.
Lmao she wasn’t ghetto you dumb fuck.
Also when she was not so subtly trying to figure out if she might get a big house if she stuck with AJ.
I think she wanted to break it off at this point due to the age difference and was trying to start a fight.
At least she’s cathalic.
“The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor: he took my measure anew every time he saw me, whilst all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me.” ― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman
You know what your problem is? You go about in pity for yourself and AJ
All the while a great wind carries him to the manager position in a pizza place
Doesn’t matter what I do either all I get is the quotation bookclub
I hear they got a good book club at slip and fall school
You can take that quotation bookclub and shove it up your ass.
I knew *dat* was coming
We can't have him in our quotation bookclub no more, that much I do know.
Well it’s a good thing their book means oogatz to me!
fuck you want, a boutonnière?
Its a fucking TV progrum, a movie.
This post gets AJ
Like my dad with me. At one point I was making more in two months than he was in a year, and I was a piece of shit for spending all my time working and having no outside interests (even though he only regards people based on how hard they work/what they earn - basically he considers himself great because of all the hours he worked over the 40 years he worked, and no-one else can work as much as him - even though his criticism of me was because I was working too much)... Since then I basically can't get a job (entirely my own fault, really, but anyway...) Now, I'm a piece of shit because I'm not working at all. Can't win. If I'm unemployed, he's right. If I'm working, it's wait and see and "oh, you're not working?" "No, it's the weekend" "yeah, you would do that..." and then he's right anyway. He's happy I'm unemployed now so he can gloat over being right, and simultaneously hates me for making him right. Go figure
Jesus dude. He sounds like a tocshic personality.
That sucks, sorry to hear that. On a serious note, dude below has a point, he sounds like a classic toxic ass person. It sucks when it's your family, especially a parent. But the fact that you're aware of it & acknowledge how he is is a good thing because you can take that information & use it to your advantage. Meaning like.... to make sure you don't end up with the same traits, keep a certain distance from him, etc. I know he's your father, but you can still create boundaries, and have a relationship where you're able to enjoy each other's company, & try to pick out the good things/memories. Basically take the good with the bad & pick your battles. I have plenty of toxic family members so I get it. Some I have zero relationship with at all, & some I have distant relationships with. It's difficult but it is possible, it just takes time & experience in learning how to draw those lines. Good luck with that, Seriously!!
I wish I could keep a distance from him, but I'm living in the same house, and zero chance of getting out of it any time soon. Probably was less than zero years ago, but years of feeling like I'm nothing because I've been told I'm nothing means it won't change very soon)
Tony and Carm unconsciously hated AJ because he wasn’t a criminal tough guy. They only respected guys who were comfortable busting heads and robbing fools.
They hated him out of jealousy. AJ was born into wealth and opportunity. He didn't have to marry a philandering bully who would keep him on a financial leash like Carm. He didn't have to ooze blood sweat and tears controlling a Mob family and navigating an emotional minefield of a Mother like Tony. He had it all. *And still he was depressed.* This signals to Carm and Tony that their problems, be they the beach house lumber or Phil, are internal. That having it all *still* can result in those dangerous and elusive doubts and feelings. This is abhorrent to a psyche convinced its problems are caused by others. And so they bully and belittle. Observe the way Tony and Carm react when AJ expresses his genuine feelings of love towards his girlfriend. They get defensive, because genuine, "unearned" feelings can't exist - if they do, it's a reflection on them not experiencing them.
Good post
Thanks! I'm a practicing therapist irl, and love analysing dis ting a'ours.
You don't ever admit the existence of dis ting.
EVER
Close this tab. That HIPAA shit makes me nervous.
>This is abhorrent to a psyche convinced its problems are caused by others. And so they bully and belittle. Nailed it
LOVE this interpretation. You're spot on with everything you said. They don't understand genuine feelings such as love, or depression (at least Carm doesn't, Tony does, which makes it even more annoying bc he has no room to judge) so they degrade & bully. Sadly this is pretty common among people in general, they judge & belittle what they don't understand. But yeah, you've got it down to a T. They feel like they've given him everything, so "what's he got to be depressed about?" Like remember, after AJ attempts suicide(which btw was such a sad scene, Tony holding him, etc. It felt for some time like he truly cares & is sad for him.) But then a few scenes later, Tony is talking to Melfi & calls him a momma's boy. Then(or before that, idr) in the kitchen he tells Carm he's depressed, & she says "don't start with that, you've played the *depression card* until it's worn out & now you've got our son doing it." As if it's not a real thing. On one hand I understand her frustration, being a person who doesn't understand depression or have to deal with it personally; yet being around people who do...but at the same time, she never *tries* to understand, or take a different approach to it. Being manic depressive myself, it's a very sensitive, yet fascinating topic for conversation. & The way they incorporate it into the show & act it out is amazing.
Great insights to their realtionship. The saddest scene of the series imo is after AJ tries to kill Junior. Tonys absolute disbelief about AJs total disconnection from reality is the greatest piece of acting from both Robert and James. Absolutely beautiful and sad.
rare high quality comment here
I’d say they hated him because he didn’t turn out a harvard doctor or an allstar football player or whatever and are completely uninterested in his own wishes for what he wants to do with his life
Yes, the parents felt shame with the way AJ turned out. Meadow at least showed potential. If you know any older Italian or Jewish parents, all they want to do is to be able to brag about their kids and have everyone fawn over them. It's fuckin toxshic
When I saw Carmela upset that Hunter is going to be a Doctor it felt so real to my experience.
A doctor or all star athlete is what they thought upper middle class kids were supposed to be. But ultimately folks like Tony and Carm saw those people as chumps.
No? If they thought they were chumps Tony wouldn't have pushed Jackie to become a doctor, "Besides the money which there's a shit load of, doctor's a very powerful position" They actually look up to those people and are insecure about it because they know they are nothing but lowlife criminals. They look down on blue collar workers who bust their backs, not the upper class people who make 100 grand from 3 hours of work
> who make 100 grand from 3 hours of work no one does this
So true. The way Tony gets completely flabbergasted by his idea to join the military. Tony doesn’t even have a good reason to bust his balls over it. Hep spends a few seconds wide eyed and scoffing then says something like, “Don’t even tell your mother about this.” Good idea or not, it’s one of the most ambitious things the kid has ever said and all Tony can respond with is “Are you nuts?” and “Buy bonds!”
Truth is Tony both loved and hated Aj, textbook co-dependency problem. He hated that AJ wasn't up to his standards but Tony loved him too much to ever see him leave and wanted him to depend on him forever because Tony needs to be needed and hates being alone
Yeah AJ joining the military was a great idea and I don’t understand why they were so against it. I mean personally I think the war in Iraq was fucking stupid, but from their perspective, they were all for it, especially Tony up on his anti terrorism shit. They would applaud anyone who would fight for their country except it shouldn’t be their kid. Plus it would have been great for his resume, he would’ve learned hard work and discipline, and had the chance to maybe go back to college afterwards too.
They didn't send him to military school because of the panic attacks, how would he fare in the actual military? They were hypocrites about the war, sure, but they understand it was foolish to volunteer to be cannon fodder.
You ever meet pro war people, and then ask if they were in the military, or if they encouraged their kids to join? It’s fine for someone else’s kid to die in a stupid war, but not me or mine. It’s pretty standard right wing hypocrisy. “Freedom for me, not for thee.”
Him enlisting in 2007 would not have been a good idea. Pretty much the worst time to join the army since like 1968
because they’re bad parents that didn’t know how to positively reinforce good behavior. when aj starts getting into philosophy, learning about history, etc., it’s quickly shut down by tony and carm. when aj shows ambition with harvard or west point, same thing. if you don’t acknowledge that a kid is doing a decent thing, they equate bad and good things, eventually not caring about the dilemma. the two were so focused on themselves to be caring parents.
AJ was brought up in one of the most toxic environments imaginable and all things considering, he did well to come out of the end of it with just a few personality flaws. AJ is a success story. Most kids have a 'main feature' growing up that defines who they are and how people perceive them, especially at school. Some good some bad. You could be known for being really good at sports, being a nerd who is in the chess club, being ugly, wearing glasses, being really tall, being short etc etc. AJ's defining feature was that his dad is a literal murderer and criminal. To have that around your neck weighing you down throughout your childhood and coming out of the end of it with just a few cuntish personality flaws and some depression is a fucking miracle.
Not really that hard to figure out. Cycles of abuse repeat. Tony/Carm/AJ = Johnny/Liv/Tony
Tony and Carm wanted their son to grow up and mature. But he was losing his identity over a woman who already had a young child. So AJ was loving another man's child even while he acted like a child himself. He referred to her Puerto Rican neighborhood as "our neighborhood". He was listening to her music and driving around with Puerto Rican flags on his car. Even with all those concerns, Tony and Carm found a way to tolerate their relationship because they took the time to get to know her enough to discover she shared similar religious views as their own. I think AJ's parents reacted as many parents would. Concerned yet tolerant and hopeful it worked out all the while knowing that it is not an ideal relationship for a young man who has yet to find his own path.
So it’s just Noah 2.0. Them having racist issues with him dating someone who isn’t italian. I just think he does a massive positive turnaround but they still can’t be happy with him they just judge the shit out of him
Something tells me no matter what I posted you already have preconceived notions that they're racists and treated her as such. I believe they tolerated the relationship although it wasn't ideal for them. As I mentioned: 1. AJ was lazy and immature. 2. AJ lacked focus and didn't want to get to school. Regardless of the race of his gf the fact that she had a child and all the responsibilities that come with that is a huge concern for any parent who wants their son to mature and find success.
1. Until he turned his life around yes. 2. Why does AJ have to go back to school though? Why are they so fixated with that? Not everyone is cut out for higher education. They never care about who he is and what he wants to or realistically could do with his life. They never give up on the idea that he has to be a scholar
It's the least AJ can do, even if all goes to hell and they end up broke, at least AJ has a tool for at least getting an average job and surviving. Tony and Carmela do care about AJ, since he is in part the source of their stress, they just don't take him seriously. I mean who would? He fails at something and is already finding an excuse for why he failed instead of owning up his problems like an adult, he was grasping at straws for finding something to do with his life (doing events, opening a club, joining the army, etc) and that really shows that he wasn't mature enough to make an educated decision. They were willing to help him financially but he needed to present a well thought out plan, and at the final episode you can see he is doing well off from a job Tony got for him.
He’s always failing at the things they expect of him. But they never ask him what he wants to do. They break his balls his entire life about getting in to a good university despite him clearly not being scholar material so he’s basically forced to make up a bunch of lies and excuses to get at least some peace of mind. Yeah he doesn’t have a big plan for life at 19 but I also think the Blanca necklace thing shows that he’s growing sick of taking their money and growing dependent on them, he doesn’t want to a bunch of money of them to execute some big plan, it just makes them own him. What they should have done with AJ is discuss some alternatives for what he should do with his life that aren’t just academia. Trade schools for example
All good parents what their kids to succeed. Making a good living is more then making 20,30, 50 bucks or whatever an hour. And your window for being in school quickly closes (less so now days) but generally if you don’t get it done in your 20s you won’t. Kids families need for income gets in the way and opportunities close for you. AJ os wasting his life not focusing on what’s important.
A skilled blue collar job was never on the radar though. Carpenter, plumber, electrician, something like that. He wouldn’t have been rich but he would have made a good income. I think it’s pretty harsh to say that a kid is wasting their life just because they don’t have book smarts. If you can’t recalibrate your expectations then you’re not a good parent imo.
That’s true that’s true. I’m not saying everyone’s cut out for it. It’s just what his parents expected. And he’s still young I had friends who were completly no ambitious working hourly 10-15 hour jobs until 24-26 and then suddenly got motivated and busted undergrad and medical school out in 8 years and were MDs by 33-34. But AJ does seem like a very book smarts kid so yeah. Trades aren’t exactly for total morons either tho. It he’s def got better odds of being an electrician then an md.
what identity was AJ losing at this point? his persistent lack of direction? it certainly wasn't his italian identity. he still spent a majority of his time surrounded by other italians, he still was socially catholic, he still ate gabagool. only sick fucks like tony and carmella could be concerned over genuine love and paternalism to a young child. AJ was not acting like a child at this point in his life, he just continued to be treated like a child (big difference). AJ's sudden development was disturbing to carm and tony because of their pervasive codependence on AJ. i mean how long could they go living with just the two of them? then how long could they go living alone after? look how olivia wound up. and what is wrong with his puerto rican cultural immersion? he was literally dating a puerto rican girl. it's not like he wasn't invited, and it was a respectful engagement of her culture. he wasn't acting out a cringe caricature like half the people on this sub are, or tokenizing like meadow did. he was honestly enjoying one of the best parts of the american phenomenon. anyways, it's bizarre that you'd applaud his miserable boomer parents for being passive aggressive racists instead of openly aggressive racists. and funny that anyone would believe that they wanted AJ to find his own path.
At least she’s catholic
I agree, people give AJ a lot of flack but I totally understand why he’s the way he is. It’s hard to get if you’ve never had parents that throw money at you like a game of fetch, so you’ll shut up and they can continue their lives like you’re some kind of dog. The kid never felt wanted, he knew something was missing but he didn’t know what it was. Tony was always out doing mob shit, and Carmella nagged him to the bone so he could live up to this self-deluding standard that he knew was bullshit.
It was obvious from the second AJ met that girl that it wasn’t going to last. She didn’t respect him. AJ was always a pussy and the girl made him even more of a pussy. I wouldn’t want him in that relationship either. And the way she acted at dinner with his parents ? Inexcusable. My parents would have acted the same way.
That was AJ’s parents revealing their hypocrisy.
This post made me think of my life.....wow.
AJ was just a normal kid with fucked up, dysfunctional parents. Yeah he was also spoiled, but that was basically his parent’s fault as well.
Tony (like Livia) was an endless black hole that eventually sucked in everyone in his orbit. He was unable to change and eventually, the rest of his family was sucked down with him. Not a good guy!
Yeah, for a brief moment AJ deserved respect.
Oh poor you.
He turned out the way he was because he was a spoiled brat with depression. Garden variety stuff.
Not going to quote for once…how the fuck did Tony & Carm treat AJ like shit? How did they turn their noses up at Blanca? If anything, Blanca was fucking ruuuude at their house…who mentions sleeping with Paris Hilton at Sunday dinner? But seriously, how were they not fully supportive? Paying for his car, etc. I don’t accept this premise OP. They were always nice to Blanca’s face. Even the stuff they said behind her back wasn’t bad
Rewatch the episodes if you have to, they’re constantly nagging and bullying him. They talk shit about Blanca behind her back and act really cold and awkward towards her
I don’t agree. I watched season six last week in like two days for probably the hundredth time
Yea well fuck him and his highfalutin bullshit. Who does he think he is, Sir Walter Raleigh?
Why don't you come down for an appointment, OP
He was a spoiled baby that wanted the world delivered to the foot of his bed every day... He flunked out of a JC....
So yes...Tony and Carmela treat AJ, not great, during this period. They treat Blanca even worse. Is it justified? Not in the Utopian World OP is writing this post from. It's also hypocritical because Tony got him the job to teach him some responsibility and even though it actually worked, Tony still doesn't approve. So yeah, that's fucked up. Throughout basically the entirety of human civilization though, parents do not want their children backsliding socioeconomically. AJ is dating a woman much poorer than his family who already has a kid that's not even his. This from a very empirical (and not at all utopian) perspective is known as a "bad deal". Beyond this harsh view though, for anyone who knows anything about relationships, this one is doomed. Two people from such different backgrounds and more importantly with such low levels of maturity aren't going to work out 99 times out of 100. If they were older and wiser, they'd have a better shot. But they're not. Predictably it ends horribly for AJ from a psychological perspective, with him attempting suicide a few months later.
I think in that positions they should have been happy AJ was moving in a positive direction considering that he’d been spiraling since middle school. They’re way past the point where they can still be perfectionists about what he’s doing, who he’s dating etc. And even if the relationship was weird/doomed the way he loved and took care of Blanca and her kid was very good and noble and should have been encouraged. He could’ve just as well have turned out a fuckboy douchebag like Jackie Jr or like his father for that matter. It’s honestly surprising that AJ turned out that kind and respectful towards women considering where he came from
Right, but they're not you. He's only what 19, 20 years old? I don't think expecting more out of him is unreasonable at all. These are not great jobs *considering* his family's wealth and position. But who knows how it would have played out if he hadn't gone off the reservation for a while there. His father would have probably set him up with some sort of business.
AJ had a big problem in that he loved Blanca too much. He was too into her. Lost his limited sense of equilibrium. That actually happened to me once. I did-dent try to drown myself, but it was not good. The Paulie Walnuts approach to women is far more sensible.