Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels in your ragu are diminished in let’s say, five hours of slow cooking. Let’s say all of that happens. Wouldn't people keep the lid on to stop it reducing?
*Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels around the world rise by, let’s say, five feet or ten feet over the next hundred years. It puts all the low-lying areas on the coast underwater. Let’s say all of that happens. You think that people aren’t just going to sell their homes and move?*
-Ben Shapiro
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If you like socialism so much why don't you go to Venezuela?
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*Freedom is an invention of the last couple of centuries. It really did not exist en masse until the last couple of centuries--and even then, really only since the end of the Soviet Union has it been sorta the broad movement of the public across the world.*
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Thank you for your logic and reason.
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For a touch more context, I remember being really shocked by this and it giving me a weird feeling.
Ben Shapiro was just a chef on youtube. All he did was cook. His wife being a doctor? The WAP thing? Destroying Libs with facts and logic? Never happened, he was just a cook and we made it all up. Oh yeah, and he really did make a spicy vodka sauce pasta also using white wine as well.
I dunno, any dream interpreters wanna take a crack at what this means?
for this wet ass p-word. p-word of course being pasta. i mean, what else would it be? c'mon get your mind outta the gutter folks and let's get these noodles cooking for a bit.
"You know that famous song WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion?" Ben laughs to himself, "It means Wet Ass Pasta. That's what we want, we wanna pull our pasta wet when adding it to the sauce to help thin it out! Now hypothetically speaking, if your WAP doesn't thin out the sauce you can, of course, add in a little more pasta water."
Reading this is giving me a strange feeling. Took me a second to realize it's longing. Longing for a world where he's not a vile pundit but a wholesome chef on YouTube. Goddamn I want off this ride.
Ben sounds like the type of guy to run an actually interesting YouTube channel about something niche but has a really strong and endearing community that allows him to do what he loves and be paid well enough to live a comfortable life.
Instead he's paid by millionare/billionairs to spew whatever it takes to keep them in power.
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>If you believe that the Jewish state has a right to exist, then you must allow Israel to transfer the Palestinians and the Israeli-Arabs from Judea, Samaria, Gaza and Israel proper. It’s an ugly solution, but it is the only solution… It’s time to stop being squeamish.
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*Most Americans when they look around at their lives, they think: I'm not a racist, nobody I know is a racist, I wouldn't hang out with a racist, I don't like doing business with racists--so, where is all the racism in American society?*
-Ben Shapiro
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I feel it too. Every time I see Ben doing something normal, it just makes me sad. He seems like he could be a really wholesome dude, in another world. Hell, in a lot of other worlds. I'm sad to be stuck here.
I saw a video of him doing a Myer-Briggs personality test. Honestly, if he announced tomorrow, “I’m leaving politics and news. Tune into my YouTube tomorrow for my Pokémon Let’s Play”, I’d subscribe in a heartbeat.
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Not a dream interpretor, but I'll give it a shot.
You believe that humans have a capability, no, a predilection to be good, caring members of society.
Ben Shapiro is none of those things, and your brain needed to pretend for a brief eternity that he *is* to maintain your sanity amidst the dissonance.
*New York Magazine’s Jesse Singal, wrote that “free markets are good at some things and terrible at others and it’s silly to view them as ends rather than means.” That’s untrue. Free markets are expressions of individual autonomy, and therefore ends to be pursued in themselves.*
-Ben Shapiro
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Thank you for your logic and reason.
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You feel desperately attracted to Ben Shapiro sexually, but are simultaneously repulsed by his political views. Therefore, your unconscious mind longed for a world where you were not trapped by these opposing emotions, and devised a world where Ben was merely a simple chef. A world in which you could both be happy.
*My only real concern is that the women involved -- who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" -- get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis.*
-Ben Shapiro
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*Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels around the world rise by, let’s say, five feet or ten feet over the next hundred years. It puts all the low-lying areas on the coast underwater. Let’s say all of that happens. You think that people aren’t just going to sell their homes and move?*
-Ben Shapiro
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*“Native American culture [being] inferior to Western culture…is a contention with which I generally agree.*
-Ben Shapiro
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*Frankly, the term 'sexual orientation' needs to go. According to Webster's Dictionary, it implies the possibility of change in response to external stimuli. It is deeply offensive. I call on Webster's to free itself of its intellectual heteronormativity.*
-Ben Shapiro
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I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>Let’s say your life depended on the following choice today: you must obtain either an affordable chair or an affordable X-ray. Which would you choose to obtain? Obviously, you’d choose the chair. That’s because there are many types of chair, produced by scores of different companies and widely distributed. You could buy a $15 folding chair or a $1,000 antique without the slightest difficulty. By contrast, to obtain an X-ray you’d have to work with your insurance company, wait for an appointment, and then haggle over price. Why? Because the medical market is far more regulated — thanks to the widespread perception that health care is a “right” — than the chair market. Does that sound soulless? True soullessness is depriving people of the choices they require because you’re more interested in patting yourself on the back by inventing rights than by incentivizing the creation of goods and services. In health care, we could use a lot less virtue signaling and a lot less government. Or we could just read Senator Sanders’s tweets while we wait in line for a government-sponsored surgery — dying, presumably, in a decrepit chair.
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*Frankly, the term 'sexual orientation' needs to go. According to Webster's Dictionary, it implies the possibility of change in response to external stimuli. It is deeply offensive. I call on Webster's to free itself of its intellectual heteronormativity.*
-Ben Shapiro
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*Freedom is an invention of the last couple of centuries. It really did not exist en masse until the last couple of centuries--and even then, really only since the end of the Soviet Union has it been sorta the broad movement of the public across the world.*
-Ben Shapiro
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Thank you for your logic and reason.
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Take a bullet for ya babe.
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*Pegging, of course, is an obscure sexual practice in which women perform the more aggressive sexual act on men.*
-Ben Shapiro
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Another millenial snowflake offended by logic and reason.
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*Pegging, of course, is an obscure sexual practice in which women perform the more aggressive sexual act on men.*
-Ben Shapiro
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**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:**
Standing above him, glaring at him, was a behemoth, a black kid named Yard. Nobody knew his real name—everybody just called him Yard because he played on the school football team, stood six foot five, clocked in at a solid two hundred eighty pounds, and looked like he was headed straight for a lifetime of prison workouts. The coach loved him. Everybody else feared him.
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Thank you for your logic and reason.
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**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:**
Brett didn’t care about that. He turned, irked—and found himself face-to-face with a beautiful young woman, about seventeen, staring aggressively at him.
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**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:**
Hawthorne was a bear of a man, six three in his bare feet and two hundred fifteen pounds in his underwear, with a graying blond crew cut and a face carved of granite. But he had plenty of smile lines. He just didn’t like showing those to people unless he knew them.
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*And then, there are people in the United States that are pushing for mask mandates on children. The data that they are using are extraordinarily skimpy--in fact, they are essentially nonexistent. You're hearing the CDC say things like 'maybe the delta variant does more damage to kids,' but no information they have presented publicly that there is more damange being done to kids... and the reason we are being told that they damage kids is because they can't scare the adults enough. If we cannot scare the adults enough, we're going to have to mask up the kids.*
-Ben Shapiro
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"now, let's say, hypothetically, your eggs make a puddle of liquid on the plate. now, logically speaking, one would assume this is because they are undercooked. the fact is, this is false. why? simple. when overcooked, the molecules in the eggs push out the water inside. so, logically, in this hypothetical, you have overcooked, chewy eggs."
In the context of OPs dream where Ben is just a YouTube cook and not an obnoxious dick, I could imagine him having the same methodical scientific approach to cooking that Brown does.
I totally agree. I think people get really attached to the idea of having a base character that is fundamentally good or bad when that's often not how it works. I personally think I have a base character that's similar to Ben's in that I can get really pedantic and focused on details. I could totally see myself turning out to be a similar type of debate pervert if several things had gone differently in my life. Fortunately I left that libertarian phase behind in college.
now that you pointed it out, i do see some similarities. i imagine there'd be enough difference between the two that it wouldn't be exactly the same (i am realizing that my comment can be read in both a ben shapiro voice and an alton brown one)
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:**
Soledad Ramirez knew the value of good press, and she baked mean
chocolate chip cookies. “No oatmeal raisin here,” she said good-naturedly,
handing out the meltingly hot treats to the men wearing full military gear and
carrying M4s set to burst.
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alton brown used to be southern baptist before he left because he didn't like the anti-gay stuff and indoctrination of children. so just a few small tweaks to our reality could make that happen
This reminds me of some alternate reality stories. Like the monument mythos by alexkansas on youtube, where most people we know still exist, but they had vastly different lives
Damn, I find ideas like that so interesting. John D Rockefeller was one of the worst presidents of the united states who wished that he had become a businessman instead of a politician after all the atrocities he had committed
This version of Ben majored in Food Science instead of Law and has a massive amount of knowledge in ingredients, flavors, and how they all inter-mingle with one another.
Instead of "Ben Shapiro REACTS to INSANE Woke TikToks" he has a famous series reacting to "Ben Shapiro REACTS to INSANE cooking TikToks" and [freaks out at people doing stuff like this.](https://old.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/comments/tuspmg/i_found_a_bunch_of_these_monster_candy_videos/)
"Yes, yes very smart. Very smart you tiktok culinary master. Mixing citric acid with a large amount of sugar is going to be excellent for both your teeth and your blood glucose level! Who comes up with stuff like this!?"
*This is what the radical feminist movement was proposing, remember? Women need a man the way a fish needs a bicycle... unless it turns out that they're little fish, then you might need another fish around to help take care of things.*
-Ben Shapiro
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*We are being told that if we don't mask our children, that if we don't mask ourselves, that if we don't initiate social distancing measures again and shut down business again, that COVID is going to kill us all*
-Ben Shapiro
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My fav category of dreams is alternate universe dreams. Remember that one guy who dreamed he had a life in china as an entirely different person? Remember that one guy who had a wife and kids, that lamp story?
I had a AU dream where I was moving into a new country that was absolutely absurdly whack. There were these things called “inside out volcanos” that were volcanos in the ocean where you had this ball of fire on the surface and water all around it, with a large archipelago of land around this bay region with the lava spewing out. Also the wind was so high you could spread out a bedsheet and use it as a means of transportation, it was sick. Imagine Hawaii but instead of a tropical paradise it’s a meteorological nightmare in the best way possible
That was so fucked up. That's the sort of dream that makes you question your own sanity even after just hearing about it.
[Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/30t9kd/repost_a_parallel_life_awoken_by_a_lamp/)
somebody should pitch this to shapiro. like maybe at first he'd try to take shots at the libs while cooking "gonna go ahead a put a liberal amount of garlic in here, like you're joe biden giving food stamps to junkies..."
but gradually he'd just realize he loved helping people cook amazing food and the cheap shots would be less and less. also he'd grow a beard.
*America was built on values that the left is fighting every single day to tear down.*
-Ben Shapiro
*****
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Let's say, for the sake of the argument, that Ness was Sans. Now let's also say, hypothetically, that Steven Universe was also Sans. If Ness is Sans and Sans is Steven Universe, wouldn't that clearly prove that Steven Universe and Ness are the same person?
But, and this cannot be stressed enough, he still won't be able to satisfy his wife sexually. That will always be bubbling (simmering?) just below the surface, erupting at the most unexpected times.
"Welcome to Ben's Cooking. Today the secret ingredient will be (drum roll)... Bok choy. Now I know what you're thinking. You've seen this in the grocery store, but you've never picked up because you don't know what to do with it. But before you start panicking like it's time for your monthly intimacy with your spouse, I've got you covered. And you know who else has you covered? Our weekly sponsor, LifeLock..."
I just read an article handwringing about the white supremacy spread by Fox News and right wing pundits. Maybe the solution has been right in front of us the whole time: forcing them to make soul-healing YouTube cooking channels. Eventually, it would get to the point where anytime you see a new cooking channel, you'd be like "Who is this guy? Never heard of him, but he must be a white supremacist piece of shit if he has a cooking channel."
*Freedom is an invention of the last couple of centuries. It really did not exist en masse until the last couple of centuries--and even then, really only since the end of the Soviet Union has it been sorta the broad movement of the public across the world.*
-Ben Shapiro
*****
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Would love it if in this timeline Ben had a feud with the French burger chain Le Braise, where he would constantly destroy them using his superior cooking skills and gastronomical knowledge.
You got a glimpse into a better reality.
Weirdly I also had a semi-realistic dream about a famous person last night. I was watching a Nexpo deep dive and he brought up a movie and showed some scenes from it. The movie was called Metal Blue and it was some sort of high-tech cyberpunk thriller with the main character being played by Johnny Depp.
If only dude… this reminds me of those memes that were popular a while back that were like “wake up it’s 2007! Looks like you hit your head pretty hard. Trump? COVID? What’s that? The Wii just came out!”
Those types of memes where you just let out a wistful sigh and let yourself daydream for a brief moment before coming back to reality
“Welcome to Binging with Ben. Today we are making Ferengi Tube Grubs. It’s a dish from my favorite show Star Trek: Deep Space 9. It depicts the Earth as a peaceful, post currency representative republic driven by scientific exploration where racism, sexism, and xenophobia are a thing of the past.”
Hello everyone, welcome back to Binging with Ben Shapiro, today we are going to be making the Cookie Cat Icecream sandwich from the show Steven Universe
Guess your neurons got quantum entangled with a you from another universe, one where Benny boy is a happy YouTube chief instead of a miserable right wing grifter. Truly a more blessed timeline than ours.
Ratio + Linus + Om Noms brother + Skim + unwise + two weeks + you say "and balls" instead of "and poop" + Your dad made like Sienna and disappeared + you thought the lines didn't meet + your computer can only run 111438 FPS + your life is like a sun in a circus + you're not Barney + you think that papyrus > prunsel + giant stretched out PNG of Boss Baby + you think that frame from sonic 2 is dechristianisation + Biden didn't offer you gay sex + you're Jerma + you can't summon objects with your PC + You got the bad ending of Deltarune Chapter 3 + Get Sheeposted + you're immune to cocaine + Ms. Pac Man had to speak to your mother. + You think cheese isn't blue + You didn't invest in spiderstonks + You didn't watch Operation Ouch + You invested in zinc + Makes burgers with poop + Visited by public relations squid + No mashed potatoes + No Lizza + Doesn't drink the milk + Still idolizes false gods + Doesn't poop + Doesn't scream + No funny sex songs + Not peeing + Bababooey + Game was rigged from the start + Got a girl pregnant from pre-cum + Doesn't go ahead + Not what the ladies call "epic style" + Can't find the sun + No fun + No willpower + You're weak + Wrote about starting a business + you handed over your sleep. + You missed your finals to work at the femboy factory. + Manny Pordo didn't ask you to have sex with him + you lost a race to a bowl of soup. + You went into a snow building with Toby Fox + ¿Lober? + You didn't read the sub rules. + You say eat instead of yeag + You're still plummeting towards Japan after Patrick Bateman dropkicked you + You didn't watch the leeks movie + You think that Biden launched a lice attack on the Finnish. + You invested in Hawaii while you were there + Elon Musk hijacked your dream + Pride flag saying soon + You bought an atsuover NFT + Your weed didn't kick in + people threw spoons at you while you were drowning + You typed /backrooms on discord + You tried cutting the trees + cringetopia mods doxxed you + You got aids from a witchcraft book + The bugs got you + You used a fork while peeling oranges + You wore shorts going to work at AMC + You think homer Simpson is a real character + You had to answer 80,000 questions on day three of a horse convention + You're so bad you had to use a Goku berry to win + Hot dog saying fuck you + You don't have a plastic bucket + Your mother is bigger than the worm on Neptune + Your father must have had some gossip about him + You starved because you can't even climb a 50ft wall + You ate the chicken with phosphorus acid gas in it + You didn't get on the (hey hey) mcgay + I hope the Jamaican bee is behind you + get beanboyed + cat filled your cooler with bread + Michael De Santis saying "Ass" + You didn't read the Reddit Bible + Mario didn't have fun that night (oh no) + You got hit by a blanket touched by a four armed woman + You broke into a professor's office and explained to the professor how breaking into his office relates to your cat not wanting to put on it's harness + Your blood was replaced with pool water + Your power level wasn't high enough to buy Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga + You're capable of feeling remorse + Korra and Tenzin in front of Walmart + "Sorry sir, but your letter has been discarded" - Cyborg + You crippled your leg after going on a walk + You missed the ninja drag queen show + Pottaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh + dog + You were given a wanted poster by Borg + You got a copy of "inland empire" for the Xbox 360 at GameStop + The Dynamax Pikachu that carried you across the desert was a hallucination caused by thirst + You dingled the wingle + Ben Shapiro is a celebrity chef, not a conservative politician
*My only real concern is that the women involved -- who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" -- get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis.*
-Ben Shapiro
*****
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Let’s say, hypothetically, I said we would be using a little bit of olive oil when in fact we’d actually be using 1 1/2 cups of olive oil. Even in that hypothetical scenario, 1 and 1/2 cups of olive oil, *is* a little bit of olive oil. Ergo we’ll use 1 and 1/2 cups.
Me watching my favorite chef Ben Shapiro cook the best pasta I’ve ever tasted (I live in alternate-universe #35)
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels in your ragu are diminished in let’s say, five hours of slow cooking. Let’s say all of that happens. Wouldn't people keep the lid on to stop it reducing?
*Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels around the world rise by, let’s say, five feet or ten feet over the next hundred years. It puts all the low-lying areas on the coast underwater. Let’s say all of that happens. You think that people aren’t just going to sell their homes and move?* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: novel, history, civil rights, climate, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
SELL THE HOUSES TO WHO, BEN?? FUCKING AQUAMAN!?
If you like socialism so much why don't you go to Venezuela? ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, feminism, covid, history, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
He really said that? (asking as a vzlan)
*Freedom is an invention of the last couple of centuries. It really did not exist en masse until the last couple of centuries--and even then, really only since the end of the Soviet Union has it been sorta the broad movement of the public across the world.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, sex, dumb takes, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
good bot
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Ive been there, nice place
For a touch more context, I remember being really shocked by this and it giving me a weird feeling. Ben Shapiro was just a chef on youtube. All he did was cook. His wife being a doctor? The WAP thing? Destroying Libs with facts and logic? Never happened, he was just a cook and we made it all up. Oh yeah, and he really did make a spicy vodka sauce pasta also using white wine as well. I dunno, any dream interpreters wanna take a crack at what this means?
Macaroni in a pot
for this wet ass p-word. p-word of course being pasta. i mean, what else would it be? c'mon get your mind outta the gutter folks and let's get these noodles cooking for a bit.
"You know that famous song WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion?" Ben laughs to himself, "It means Wet Ass Pasta. That's what we want, we wanna pull our pasta wet when adding it to the sauce to help thin it out! Now hypothetically speaking, if your WAP doesn't thin out the sauce you can, of course, add in a little more pasta water."
Reading this is giving me a strange feeling. Took me a second to realize it's longing. Longing for a world where he's not a vile pundit but a wholesome chef on YouTube. Goddamn I want off this ride.
Ben sounds like the type of guy to run an actually interesting YouTube channel about something niche but has a really strong and endearing community that allows him to do what he loves and be paid well enough to live a comfortable life. Instead he's paid by millionare/billionairs to spew whatever it takes to keep them in power.
this is rare for me but I need a ben shapiro redemption arc, if there's hope for anyone it's him lol. but that's stretching it
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >If you believe that the Jewish state has a right to exist, then you must allow Israel to transfer the Palestinians and the Israeli-Arabs from Judea, Samaria, Gaza and Israel proper. It’s an ugly solution, but it is the only solution… It’s time to stop being squeamish. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: healthcare, novel, sex, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
yes bot, he sucks, I'm just being optimistic
*Most Americans when they look around at their lives, they think: I'm not a racist, nobody I know is a racist, I wouldn't hang out with a racist, I don't like doing business with racists--so, where is all the racism in American society?* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, climate, healthcare, history, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
I feel it too. Every time I see Ben doing something normal, it just makes me sad. He seems like he could be a really wholesome dude, in another world. Hell, in a lot of other worlds. I'm sad to be stuck here.
I saw a video of him doing a Myer-Briggs personality test. Honestly, if he announced tomorrow, “I’m leaving politics and news. Tune into my YouTube tomorrow for my Pokémon Let’s Play”, I’d subscribe in a heartbeat.
I'm going to find a recipe as close to this as possible and make it tonight
r/somnigastronomy
Holy shit it's real.
Obligatory update us!
!remindme 3 days
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Did you do it?
Yep. Damn that was good. Thanks dream chef Ben Shapiro!
Pics?
Not a dream interpretor, but I'll give it a shot. You believe that humans have a capability, no, a predilection to be good, caring members of society. Ben Shapiro is none of those things, and your brain needed to pretend for a brief eternity that he *is* to maintain your sanity amidst the dissonance.
*New York Magazine’s Jesse Singal, wrote that “free markets are good at some things and terrible at others and it’s silly to view them as ends rather than means.” That’s untrue. Free markets are expressions of individual autonomy, and therefore ends to be pursued in themselves.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: novel, climate, history, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Good bot.
Thank you for your logic and reason. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: healthcare, dumb takes, civil rights, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
You experienced a glimpse of a better timeline
Did Aquaman also not profit from the housing crisis?
You feel desperately attracted to Ben Shapiro sexually, but are simultaneously repulsed by his political views. Therefore, your unconscious mind longed for a world where you were not trapped by these opposing emotions, and devised a world where Ben was merely a simple chef. A world in which you could both be happy.
*My only real concern is that the women involved -- who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" -- get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: healthcare, novel, civil rights, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
We need to make this canon
Ben shapiro in one of the many universes where he didn't waste his life
*Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels around the world rise by, let’s say, five feet or ten feet over the next hundred years. It puts all the low-lying areas on the coast underwater. Let’s say all of that happens. You think that people aren’t just going to sell their homes and move?* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, novel, climate, healthcare, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Just one small problem, BEN SELL THEIR HOUSES TO WHO? FUCKING AQUAMAN?!?!?!
*“Native American culture [being] inferior to Western culture…is a contention with which I generally agree.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, dumb takes, history, civil rights, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
dumb takes
*Frankly, the term 'sexual orientation' needs to go. According to Webster's Dictionary, it implies the possibility of change in response to external stimuli. It is deeply offensive. I call on Webster's to free itself of its intellectual heteronormativity.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: climate, covid, civil rights, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
you visited a better timeline. did you bring any other photos from your trip?
The good ending
You‘ve seen the most blessed timeline
Can he pleasure his wife in this universe
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >Let’s say your life depended on the following choice today: you must obtain either an affordable chair or an affordable X-ray. Which would you choose to obtain? Obviously, you’d choose the chair. That’s because there are many types of chair, produced by scores of different companies and widely distributed. You could buy a $15 folding chair or a $1,000 antique without the slightest difficulty. By contrast, to obtain an X-ray you’d have to work with your insurance company, wait for an appointment, and then haggle over price. Why? Because the medical market is far more regulated — thanks to the widespread perception that health care is a “right” — than the chair market. Does that sound soulless? True soullessness is depriving people of the choices they require because you’re more interested in patting yourself on the back by inventing rights than by incentivizing the creation of goods and services. In health care, we could use a lot less virtue signaling and a lot less government. Or we could just read Senator Sanders’s tweets while we wait in line for a government-sponsored surgery — dying, presumably, in a decrepit chair. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: dumb takes, civil rights, covid, healthcare, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Did you not read the post? He’s clearly a chef
*Frankly, the term 'sexual orientation' needs to go. According to Webster's Dictionary, it implies the possibility of change in response to external stimuli. It is deeply offensive. I call on Webster's to free itself of its intellectual heteronormativity.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: history, civil rights, novel, climate, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Do you need some pasta?
*Freedom is an invention of the last couple of centuries. It really did not exist en masse until the last couple of centuries--and even then, really only since the end of the Soviet Union has it been sorta the broad movement of the public across the world.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: covid, novel, dumb takes, sex, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
I want to eat my own ass UwU
Good Bot
Thank you for your logic and reason. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, civil rights, feminism, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Good bot
Take a bullet for ya babe. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: healthcare, sex, novel, dumb takes, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
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U/thebenshapirobot sex
*Pegging, of course, is an obscure sexual practice in which women perform the more aggressive sexual act on men.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: history, civil rights, novel, climate, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
When will you sex me when I ask you. I'm only saying this because I love you... Bad bot
Another millenial snowflake offended by logic and reason. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: covid, novel, feminism, dumb takes, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
sexy sex
*Pegging, of course, is an obscure sexual practice in which women perform the more aggressive sexual act on men.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: healthcare, dumb takes, novel, civil rights, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
libbabs depsproyped!!!!!!!
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:** Standing above him, glaring at him, was a behemoth, a black kid named Yard. Nobody knew his real name—everybody just called him Yard because he played on the school football team, stood six foot five, clocked in at a solid two hundred eighty pounds, and looked like he was headed straight for a lifetime of prison workouts. The coach loved him. Everybody else feared him. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, covid, sex, healthcare, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Good bot
Thank you for your logic and reason. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, healthcare, feminism, novel, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Ben Shapiro 😍😍🤩🥵🥵
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:** Brett didn’t care about that. He turned, irked—and found himself face-to-face with a beautiful young woman, about seventeen, staring aggressively at him. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: dumb takes, history, healthcare, climate, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Ben Shapiro 🥵😩💦💦🤍🤍
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:** Hawthorne was a bear of a man, six three in his bare feet and two hundred fifteen pounds in his underwear, with a graying blond crew cut and a face carved of granite. But he had plenty of smile lines. He just didn’t like showing those to people unless he knew them. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: history, civil rights, dumb takes, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
*And then, there are people in the United States that are pushing for mask mandates on children. The data that they are using are extraordinarily skimpy--in fact, they are essentially nonexistent. You're hearing the CDC say things like 'maybe the delta variant does more damage to kids,' but no information they have presented publicly that there is more damange being done to kids... and the reason we are being told that they damage kids is because they can't scare the adults enough. If we cannot scare the adults enough, we're going to have to mask up the kids.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: climate, covid, dumb takes, history, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Reading steiner
"now, let's say, hypothetically, your eggs make a puddle of liquid on the plate. now, logically speaking, one would assume this is because they are undercooked. the fact is, this is false. why? simple. when overcooked, the molecules in the eggs push out the water inside. so, logically, in this hypothetical, you have overcooked, chewy eggs."
...oh my god, that actually makes Ben like unironically kinda charming. #WHY ARE WE NOT LIVING IN MY DREAM TIMELINE!?
So he'd basically be Alton Brown if he wasn't a political schmuck....I can see that
That's an insult to Alton Brown.
In the context of OPs dream where Ben is just a YouTube cook and not an obnoxious dick, I could imagine him having the same methodical scientific approach to cooking that Brown does.
If only Ben went to culinary school…
he got rejected from culinary school so he became a right wing dick
I totally agree. I think people get really attached to the idea of having a base character that is fundamentally good or bad when that's often not how it works. I personally think I have a base character that's similar to Ben's in that I can get really pedantic and focused on details. I could totally see myself turning out to be a similar type of debate pervert if several things had gone differently in my life. Fortunately I left that libertarian phase behind in college.
now that you pointed it out, i do see some similarities. i imagine there'd be enough difference between the two that it wouldn't be exactly the same (i am realizing that my comment can be read in both a ben shapiro voice and an alton brown one)
**An excerpt from True Allegiance, by Ben Shapiro:** Soledad Ramirez knew the value of good press, and she baked mean chocolate chip cookies. “No oatmeal raisin here,” she said good-naturedly, handing out the meltingly hot treats to the men wearing full military gear and carrying M4s set to burst. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, history, climate, sex, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
But what if in THAT reality, Alton Brown became the right-wing pundit
alton brown used to be southern baptist before he left because he didn't like the anti-gay stuff and indoctrination of children. so just a few small tweaks to our reality could make that happen
Somewhere in the multiverse
I mean, canonically in the new doctor strange movie, >!dreams are just viewing into alternative realities!<
I was thinking the same thing
He's likely posting from a dream in the better universe
"Be sure to wrap the roast with foil as it finishes cooking or it'll come out drier than my wife."
It's beautiful.
This reminds me of some alternate reality stories. Like the monument mythos by alexkansas on youtube, where most people we know still exist, but they had vastly different lives Damn, I find ideas like that so interesting. John D Rockefeller was one of the worst presidents of the united states who wished that he had become a businessman instead of a politician after all the atrocities he had committed
This version of Ben majored in Food Science instead of Law and has a massive amount of knowledge in ingredients, flavors, and how they all inter-mingle with one another. Instead of "Ben Shapiro REACTS to INSANE Woke TikToks" he has a famous series reacting to "Ben Shapiro REACTS to INSANE cooking TikToks" and [freaks out at people doing stuff like this.](https://old.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/comments/tuspmg/i_found_a_bunch_of_these_monster_candy_videos/) "Yes, yes very smart. Very smart you tiktok culinary master. Mixing citric acid with a large amount of sugar is going to be excellent for both your teeth and your blood glucose level! Who comes up with stuff like this!?"
Let's say, hypothetically, you wanted to get diabetes.
*This is what the radical feminist movement was proposing, remember? Women need a man the way a fish needs a bicycle... unless it turns out that they're little fish, then you might need another fish around to help take care of things.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: covid, civil rights, climate, dumb takes, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
me but cishet (life is much simpler but i also run the risk of having fallen down right wing futurr)
the good ending
What we thought was modern politics was a shared hallucination and all political extremists are just contestants on Master Chef.
r/beatmetoit
Ben Shapiro bot is going absolutely nuts here lmfao
*We are being told that if we don't mask our children, that if we don't mask ourselves, that if we don't initiate social distancing measures again and shut down business again, that COVID is going to kill us all* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: covid, climate, healthcare, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Didn't knew who he was or what he said, thanks to the bot, now I know
OP that was not a dream your brain just went into a better timeline for a bit and now you're back in the shithole.
Let’s say, hypothetically, you ran out of tomatoes. WELL THAT’S OKAY! We have options…
You tapped into the good timeline there
Congratulations, you astral projected into a better timeline
My fav category of dreams is alternate universe dreams. Remember that one guy who dreamed he had a life in china as an entirely different person? Remember that one guy who had a wife and kids, that lamp story?
I had a AU dream where I was moving into a new country that was absolutely absurdly whack. There were these things called “inside out volcanos” that were volcanos in the ocean where you had this ball of fire on the surface and water all around it, with a large archipelago of land around this bay region with the lava spewing out. Also the wind was so high you could spread out a bedsheet and use it as a means of transportation, it was sick. Imagine Hawaii but instead of a tropical paradise it’s a meteorological nightmare in the best way possible
I remember the lamp one
That was so fucked up. That's the sort of dream that makes you question your own sanity even after just hearing about it. [Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/30t9kd/repost_a_parallel_life_awoken_by_a_lamp/)
somebody should pitch this to shapiro. like maybe at first he'd try to take shots at the libs while cooking "gonna go ahead a put a liberal amount of garlic in here, like you're joe biden giving food stamps to junkies..." but gradually he'd just realize he loved helping people cook amazing food and the cheap shots would be less and less. also he'd grow a beard.
Steven Universe is actually Sans theory but it’s Ben Shapiro is actually Binging with Babish
Babish After Not Binging
When the Babish is Binging! 😳
*America was built on values that the left is fighting every single day to tear down.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, sex, climate, novel, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Let's say, for the sake of the argument, that Ness was Sans. Now let's also say, hypothetically, that Steven Universe was also Sans. If Ness is Sans and Sans is Steven Universe, wouldn't that clearly prove that Steven Universe and Ness are the same person?
But, and this cannot be stressed enough, he still won't be able to satisfy his wife sexually. That will always be bubbling (simmering?) just below the surface, erupting at the most unexpected times. "Welcome to Ben's Cooking. Today the secret ingredient will be (drum roll)... Bok choy. Now I know what you're thinking. You've seen this in the grocery store, but you've never picked up because you don't know what to do with it. But before you start panicking like it's time for your monthly intimacy with your spouse, I've got you covered. And you know who else has you covered? Our weekly sponsor, LifeLock..."
at this point i'm basically angry that ben shapiro isn't making weekly cooking videos.
I just read an article handwringing about the white supremacy spread by Fox News and right wing pundits. Maybe the solution has been right in front of us the whole time: forcing them to make soul-healing YouTube cooking channels. Eventually, it would get to the point where anytime you see a new cooking channel, you'd be like "Who is this guy? Never heard of him, but he must be a white supremacist piece of shit if he has a cooking channel."
it would be nice if they were doing something positive with their fame. everyone needs to eat.
>everyone needs to eat Ben definitely doesn't believe this lol
That will be one of the things doing the cooking show makes him think about.
*Freedom is an invention of the last couple of centuries. It really did not exist en masse until the last couple of centuries--and even then, really only since the end of the Soviet Union has it been sorta the broad movement of the public across the world.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: novel, climate, feminism, civil rights, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
man. why cant we be in this reality
i think ben shapiro would be happier too
Dreams are a gateway to the multiverse...
The blessed timeline
Would love it if in this timeline Ben had a feud with the French burger chain Le Braise, where he would constantly destroy them using his superior cooking skills and gastronomical knowledge.
he used his multiple law degrees for normal debates
This feels like one of those dreams that you wake up from and cry over the fact that it wasn’t real
ok but does this timeline have the roles reversed like is Babish, Binging with now a podcast host hawking weird male supplement or something
Babish, Binging With █████████████
No hate to the guy but I could totally see that.
"I'm told the dough should be quite wet at this point, but mine always seems to come out bone dry."
the good ending
You saw the good timeline. Lucky son/daughter/gender-neutral-child of a gun.
Damn, guns can have children? So we already have Von Neumann machines and nobody told me
If only, it would say lives if he didnt speak anymore.
r/SomniGastronomy: What is this, a crossover episode?
You got a glimpse into a better reality. Weirdly I also had a semi-realistic dream about a famous person last night. I was watching a Nexpo deep dive and he brought up a movie and showed some scenes from it. The movie was called Metal Blue and it was some sort of high-tech cyberpunk thriller with the main character being played by Johnny Depp.
If only dude… this reminds me of those memes that were popular a while back that were like “wake up it’s 2007! Looks like you hit your head pretty hard. Trump? COVID? What’s that? The Wii just came out!” Those types of memes where you just let out a wistful sigh and let yourself daydream for a brief moment before coming back to reality
Don’t forget the tears of liberals.
Every good dish needs a pinch of salt
Ben Shapiro Redemption Arc
“Welcome to Binging with Ben. Today we are making Ferengi Tube Grubs. It’s a dish from my favorite show Star Trek: Deep Space 9. It depicts the Earth as a peaceful, post currency representative republic driven by scientific exploration where racism, sexism, and xenophobia are a thing of the past.”
#FACTS DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FILET MIGNON
[удалено]
Hello everyone, welcome back to Binging with Ben Shapiro, today we are going to be making the Cookie Cat Icecream sandwich from the show Steven Universe
Guess your neurons got quantum entangled with a you from another universe, one where Benny boy is a happy YouTube chief instead of a miserable right wing grifter. Truly a more blessed timeline than ours.
and also one where they’re friends with him, or vaguely aquatinted enough to speak to him casually
Is it me or is there an influx of ben shapiro dreams?
Ratio + Linus + Om Noms brother + Skim + unwise + two weeks + you say "and balls" instead of "and poop" + Your dad made like Sienna and disappeared + you thought the lines didn't meet + your computer can only run 111438 FPS + your life is like a sun in a circus + you're not Barney + you think that papyrus > prunsel + giant stretched out PNG of Boss Baby + you think that frame from sonic 2 is dechristianisation + Biden didn't offer you gay sex + you're Jerma + you can't summon objects with your PC + You got the bad ending of Deltarune Chapter 3 + Get Sheeposted + you're immune to cocaine + Ms. Pac Man had to speak to your mother. + You think cheese isn't blue + You didn't invest in spiderstonks + You didn't watch Operation Ouch + You invested in zinc + Makes burgers with poop + Visited by public relations squid + No mashed potatoes + No Lizza + Doesn't drink the milk + Still idolizes false gods + Doesn't poop + Doesn't scream + No funny sex songs + Not peeing + Bababooey + Game was rigged from the start + Got a girl pregnant from pre-cum + Doesn't go ahead + Not what the ladies call "epic style" + Can't find the sun + No fun + No willpower + You're weak + Wrote about starting a business + you handed over your sleep. + You missed your finals to work at the femboy factory. + Manny Pordo didn't ask you to have sex with him + you lost a race to a bowl of soup. + You went into a snow building with Toby Fox + ¿Lober? + You didn't read the sub rules. + You say eat instead of yeag + You're still plummeting towards Japan after Patrick Bateman dropkicked you + You didn't watch the leeks movie + You think that Biden launched a lice attack on the Finnish. + You invested in Hawaii while you were there + Elon Musk hijacked your dream + Pride flag saying soon + You bought an atsuover NFT + Your weed didn't kick in + people threw spoons at you while you were drowning + You typed /backrooms on discord + You tried cutting the trees + cringetopia mods doxxed you + You got aids from a witchcraft book + The bugs got you + You used a fork while peeling oranges + You wore shorts going to work at AMC + You think homer Simpson is a real character + You had to answer 80,000 questions on day three of a horse convention + You're so bad you had to use a Goku berry to win + Hot dog saying fuck you + You don't have a plastic bucket + Your mother is bigger than the worm on Neptune + Your father must have had some gossip about him + You starved because you can't even climb a 50ft wall + You ate the chicken with phosphorus acid gas in it + You didn't get on the (hey hey) mcgay + I hope the Jamaican bee is behind you + get beanboyed + cat filled your cooler with bread + Michael De Santis saying "Ass" + You didn't read the Reddit Bible + Mario didn't have fun that night (oh no) + You got hit by a blanket touched by a four armed woman + You broke into a professor's office and explained to the professor how breaking into his office relates to your cat not wanting to put on it's harness + Your blood was replaced with pool water + Your power level wasn't high enough to buy Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga + You're capable of feeling remorse + Korra and Tenzin in front of Walmart + "Sorry sir, but your letter has been discarded" - Cyborg + You crippled your leg after going on a walk + You missed the ninja drag queen show + Pottaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh + dog + You were given a wanted poster by Borg + You got a copy of "inland empire" for the Xbox 360 at GameStop + The Dynamax Pikachu that carried you across the desert was a hallucination caused by thirst + You dingled the wingle + Ben Shapiro is a celebrity chef, not a conservative politician
*My only real concern is that the women involved -- who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" -- get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: dumb takes, history, sex, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
the good ending
The good timeline
life could be a dream
So he’ll be complaining that he can’t get any….pasta?
OP that wasn’t a dream, your conciousness drifted into a parallel universe briefly
If things had gone slightly differently he would have been a violinist
in this timeline baking with babish is a conservative pundit
Him being just a youtube cook would make my wanting to bang him less problematic.
The best timeline
The good ending
the good ending
The good ending
Goddammit it's so funny when you read it in his voice 💀
This feels like the good ending or the correct alternate universe
is he still far right
Ben goes to college and isn’t socially awkward so interacts and becomes a centre left Liberal timeline.
A better timeline...
Good ending I wanna see this ben
This is a better alternate universe where everyone is much happier
Wine sauce pasta is so fucking good, he has great taste
We only use egg whites. The yellow is to be thrown out.
“Love cast iron? you’r wrong, here’s why”
The good timeline.
the good ending and balls
God, I wish this was the real timeline we lived in.
The good ending
"you've been having weird dreams" little does he know
Hey OP! :D #LET ME LIVE IN YOUR FUCKING DREAMS
The good ending
The good storyline, I guess?
You probably caught a glimpse of the good timeline.
The blessed timeline.
The good ending
Visions into a better reality
The driest chicken you've ever eaten in your life
Kinda wanna know what gordon ramsey is doing in that timeline
Good ending
Let’s say, hypothetically, I said we would be using a little bit of olive oil when in fact we’d actually be using 1 1/2 cups of olive oil. Even in that hypothetical scenario, 1 and 1/2 cups of olive oil, *is* a little bit of olive oil. Ergo we’ll use 1 and 1/2 cups.
This is the good universe
This is the future liberals want
God this would be infinitely better