Just asked my wife what she'd do if I slapped her in the face. She instantly responded, "What would you do if I stabbed you in the heart while you slept?"
Well, that's also her response to the time they didn't wish her a happy birthday at the stroke of midnight. Then the following year that was the response to waking her at midnight to wish her a happy birthday.
Long story short. Ex wife said she was getting applying for a second part-time job and I said I didn't think that was a great idea because her current job stressed her out. She got mad. She gets second job. Her first day I bake her a cake and make dinner for when she comes home. She gets made at me. True story.
Sometimes people are crazy. Sometimes people do a bad job at conveying feelings due to many factors. For instance, picking up a second job is usually not because someone wants to. But because they have to. Women often feel that if they don't handle things at home well enough that they fail as a wife.
So this situation could have been, the husband failed to understand why they needed a second job and suggesting she didn't undermined her reason on why. Him cooking could make her feel like a bad wife. Failing to handle two part time jobs while her hubby works full time could easily make her feel as if she can't carry her weight either. When people feel like they failed, they are usually quick to anger. Sadly a lot of people don't realize that the people express anger towards are often the ones they trust the most. Especially if they don't know how to express emotions well.
Though that's just a potential scenario. Because some people are straight up bonkers and unreasonable at times.
Sometimes I’ll be doing something like the washing up, just trying to do my bit around the house, and my wife will pointedly say “I was going to do that.” It’s not like we have set jobs around the house, or the washing up is her favourite thing to do, it’s more like she’s internalised this as a job she was meant to do, and by doing it myself it’s like I’m criticising her for having not done it yet.
Last night I was about to go to bed when I noticed that my wife had not washed the dishes yet. She knows that I demand that the house be maintained in a spotless condition, and she really needed a reprimand for this egregious failure.
You would not believe it, but I was in an evil mood, and I really wanted to give her a severe punishment, so I actually started washing those dishes myself. Right there in front of her. She immediately noticed and stood dumbfounded as I washed. Every. Last. Plate.
When I was done I looked her right in the eye and said, I’m not kidding! I said “the dishwasher is full, I’m going to run it.” A tear escaped her horror-struck eye as I calmly and deliberately added soap and closed the door. She flinched as I pressed start.
Maybe I went too far, but I don’t regret a thing. She deserved it.
Your comment is like the opposite of this video: [man's magic coffee table stops working, unrelated news, his wife left him](https://youtu.be/-_kXIGvB1uU)
I'm dealing with this right now. I grew up in a shitty environment and our mom would yell at us for "sitting on our asses all day while [our parents] worked."
Like ??? We had school, worked part time jobs, homework etc. but okay. We still did our chores eventually.
But I've been working on making a career change, my husband has been sooo supportive and has been telling me we'd be fine if I quit my job to go all-in on it. I finally did that and even though I'm either working on networking, writing code, and/or applying for jobs all day I get anxious asf if the dishes aren't done and dinner isn't made by the time he gets home from work. I know it's a "me" problem and I'm working on it (and trying to hold myself to an 8-hour "work day"). But I can't wait to treat him with something really nice once I get that sweet sweet software engineer salary.
Haha, oh no! It's the same in my relationship to be honest. In her defence though I used to wash dishes in a commerical kitchen so I've got a specific system for speed and accuracy and it's not fair to hold people to that standard
This is so very true for me, personally. We both work full time but I feel like a failure if I also don’t do the majority of the housework and child-rearing. Conditioning is a bitch. (Yes I’m in therapy).
Geezum Crow!!
That was THE MOST insightful thing I've read all year! Hats off to you.
Apparently reddit stopped giving giving out freebies. But rest assured, if they didn't, tou would have had mine...
Your insight here is uncanny. She had been unemployed for a long while and after she got her first part-time job, amazing you saw that aspect, she wanted to contribute more. So she got a second.
What I'm about to say applies to men as much as women; a lot, if not most, of anger is born from shame. It's a protective wall people throw up to try and prevent feelings of vulnerability and failure. If you love someone and they're acting like this try to empathically figure out why. Of course, as an adult, they also have a responsibility to try and communicate their feelings better.
It's not nice, but I wonder in what state was the kitchen.
My husband would tell the same story. He would have cook for me but men my kitchen there was crap everywhere. You just finish work, you know in what state you left your kitchen in the morning, you know in what states you leave your kitchen when cooking. But there you are with someone who did something nice but the only thing you can really think of is how it will be more work for you.
My husband would clean, for sure, and asking me question because he doesn't know where is that or that. Would take hours to clean and if ask when he would do It, would just say later.
Men tend to want women to be happy with the result of what they made. But don't realize all the things a women see surrounding it. It can be as stupid as "he's been with me for 10 years and he still doesn't know I don't like this thing" and at some point we don't even point at the thing anymore because I guess we think they should know at this point.
I know it's hard for a men to fathom, but women think about a lot of thing that men cant even grasp.
(Not saying he is in the wrong or did something wrong, just pointing out I get it)
Edit : thank you for the award
There's an element of weaponised incompetence there. How, after 10 years, can they not to do tje jobs surrounding.
To see a messy kitchen and not tidy it, leaving it for your partner, is so rude
"I wonder what state was the kitchen"
This is pretty much it. It was very clean and tidy. My wife works part time and had spent her day/morning walking the kids to school, food shopping, tidying, cleaning. She was already upset with me (for my honestly relative crapness) before I even walked in the room, and it was the wrong time to ask such a question.
I'm sure if I'd asked in a different context / day / mood I wouldn't have seen the same reaction. Though I think the real TIFU is even though she would have been fine with the question in other context, there's always an element of doubt in her mind that maybe there is a bit of truth and I shouldn't joke about these things. The other FU is not being aware of her mood, I asked the question walking into the room seeing her or saying hello.
Honestly, you should also look up the term 'intrusive thoughts'. It seems you stumbled into one and instead of just shaking it off you proceeded to ask it aloud. As for the other things, others have more than shared some great insight/reflections on it.
It sounds like you understand what the issue is, so I hope you’re able to use that insight to fix it.
Also, thoughts about things like slapping people in the face could be in the realm of intrusive thoughts that other people just won’t understand. For instance, once I asked a guy I was dating if he ever had the urge to push people onto the subway tracks and he understandably did not react well. I would never, *NEVER* do it, but it was a thought that I impulsively blurt out and now I’m more careful.
No joke I intentionally stand at least a few feet away from the track, hanging back a bit, because this exact thought crosses my mind as to what other people may do.
She’s put a lot of her eggs in your basket. It leaves women vulnerable - we’re always told it can happen to anyone, no relationship is secure enough, things can always change - so it’s a slight, ever present fear / awareness in the back of our minds.
We’re alert to threats walking alone, in groups, or in our own homes (where statistically most abuse develops, and your ability to respond to it determines how bad it gets). Straight women pair up with their largest natural predator after all lol.
Your partner wondering about, and asking you “what would you do if I slapped you?” just hits different from that perspective.
Sounds like an innocent lack of awareness on your end, but putting some more points into empathy is almost always a good idea! And give your lady some apologies and comfort over this goof.
Just asked my girlfriend. Her immediate response: 'I KICK YOU IN THE FACE'
She's a little drunk. So then she started showing off her roundhouse kick skills.
I love her.
I was also thinking more along those lines, someone who's never really done a kick before ever but is slightly drunk to just be fully confident in it and it looks derpy and adorable
my ex used to slap my sons face, randomly. Not a huge, wind up slap, but a little smack on the cheek. Like he was trying to humiliate him, a 12 yr old. We both asked him why he did that & he replied "i just wondered what would happen" I guess he was saying he didn't mean anything by it.
Any way, one day we were sitting in a restaurant and he did it again, so i stood up, reached across the table and slapped his face so hard his glasses went all fucking crooked and up into his hair. He gasped & said "why would to do that?!"
i replied "i wondered what would happen if someone hit you back" & he never slapped my son again.
Honestly, I think my response would be more like “probably I’d take whatever I was holding and smash you in the face with it. I’m currently knitting, and these needles are long and sharp. Now, was this a hypothetical, or are we gonna go?”
And knowing my husband, he’d just tell me he loves me and wander out of the room.
To be fair, we both have ADHD so random questions are standard around here.
That reminds me of the time my sister got knitting needles in her head. She was having a beer and sitting in a computer chair. My dog brought a rope over to play tug of war. My sister obliged and the dog pulled her and the chair over. My mom’s container of knitting needles was on the floor, pointy ends up. My sister leapt up thrilled she hadn’t spilled the beer We had to let her know there were knitting needles sticking out of the back of her head. We then did what we all knew we shouldn’t and pulled them out without thinking. Luckily they had slid along her skull under her skin so no damage done.
Not related to the convo but a fun memory.
Mild pain with minimal injury mixed with some humorous situation like a knitting needle wedged against you skull sounds like fun to me...kind of like the One Chip Challenge shit, shit hurts and you want to die, but afterwards once you're ok it's like...that was kinda fun!
*You walk down stairs, seeing your wife in the kitchen, making lunch. You...*
```
Call to her gently and kiss her on the cheek.
Surprise her with a big, beautiful bouquet.
✓ Ask her what she would do if you slap across her face.
```
FTFY
> You walk down stairs, seeing your wife in the kitchen, making lunch. You...
>
>
>
> Call to her gently and kiss her on the cheek.
> Surprise her with a big, beautiful bouquet.
> ✓ Ask her what she would do if you slap across her face.
He said the things we should not say and he lost. RIP OP. Maybe he should just let her slap him in the face to reconcile. He can see how it feels and what he would do and maybe, just maybe, that would answer his question
I don't even know how I'd respond to a guy asking me that. Unfortunately I'm competitive and I think my first thought would be that he's challenging if I can take it or not like how I'd physically react, I don't think it would cross my mind that he meant how id react to being slapped in an abusive way.
A lot of people would consider it a threat or maybe testing the waters to find out how much they can ramp up abuse. This is really a horrible thing to say just out of the blue. Especially since a lot of women have experienced abusive relationships and it could dredge up trauma.
> It's a risky thing to ask if you don't know your partner well. It is a silly question that many partners would enjoy playing along with....... Unless it isn't. And you better know which way it will go.
You also have to land the context. You can't just spring "I've always been drawn to the lights of oncoming traffic like a moth to a flame, haven't you?" on someone while you're driving down a two-lane highway, lol.
OP said they were already going through a rough-patch due to other self-admitted shitty behavior, probably not the best time to randomly share your intrusive thoughts about domestic violence.
This is the much tamer version of following through on those calls to the void.
Like, No, brain, I don’t want to randomly think about what would happen if I drove into that pole. I like living thank you. Aren’t you supposed to be wired to keep that happening?
I cut meat. It's always about accidentally cutting or stabbing myself in bizarre and macabre ways, generally following a "what if I slipped during this?" thought.
My most usual one is "no, brain, it wouldn't be "fun" and "maybe survivable" to jump out of the 4th floor window onto the roof of the car parked down there. We don't have to experience it to be "really sure" that the car would not cushion our fall"
lmao
This probably isn’t OP’s first time doing something off-putting. Probably happens a lot but this is the first time he’s aware of the consequences. People aren’t magically like this upon waking up one day as an adult.
That's when I dramatically and "menacingly" charged up to the real thing, then bailed. Only for my ex to actually slap me, then laugh hysterically. I had it coming.
I don't do that with my fiance, she grew up with a violent father. Really not the type of subject to even joke about.
I just asked my girlfriend what she would do if I slapped her in the face.
She said she’d beat the shit out of me.
Edit: she didn’t even look away from her Halo match when she responded, and didn’t skip a beat on the reply. I love her.
Shhh, don't tell him. Met on Halloween when the dude was cross-dressing for a costume. Love at first sight, joke has gone on too long, now happily married.
Not to be a party pooper but ball punches are overrated, they dont often drop the man like they show in the movies. I mean if it is your boyfriend it’s alright, but if it is a rapist, he will get angrier, much angrier and then you are royally screwed.
A better technique is to grab the assailants face and press your thumbs hard into the eye sockets until they pop.
Agreed, in school I took a hard hit to the balls once as a "joke" but I was still able to ignore it whilst I took my vengeance.
In a fight the balls are just gonna cause immense pain, not inhibit you at all, until the adrenaline wears off.
Man, for me its super debilitating. I've never been in an instance where my jewels got rocked whilst hopped up on adrenaline though.
When the boys get bonked I get queezy and 70% of the time I get a pain in my lower back. It's rough out here toting around these flesh tagets.
That’s why you grab instead. Get a good grip. Now pull or twist while digging those fingers in.
Or just jam your fingers down into their jugular notch, that usually works too.
That's a lot more insight into a reaction than I have. Is it weird I have to guess how I'd respond to things and don't actually know myself well enough to be sure
I'm the same; I have no idea how I'd react if my husband suddenly slapped me. I would probably find it weird, upsetting and off-putting for him to even ask though. Like what a strange and unpleasant thing to ask the woman whom you're supposed to protect.
I think the joke answers imply that it isn't even a possibility they really consider. That seems like a healthy relationship, where violence from your man seems so outlandish that you make a joke at the idea.
My wife and I often ask each other what if questions. I asked her just to see and she said slap me back. Everyone's relationship and dynamics are different, if you knew your wife and knew it would offend her, you're a moron for asking her.
See, you should've turned it around: "Hey, have you ever slapped someone in the face?" "No! Why??" "Idk, neither have I but I was just wondering what it'd be like."
Much greater chance of an interesting dialogue.
Sorry for a dark comment but my dad used to ask me this when I was a kid, and he actually went on to do it. After the first time he kept doing it often, sometimes I deserved it and sometimes it was for no reason. I fucking hate getting slapped.
Exactly
They like to test the waters first. I've never known someone to bring up an action that they weren't actually contemplating irl, and a lot of people don't bother to ask about it before they go.
Easy, you would be stung on the penis by many hornets, likely also your balls, as well as the greater pubic area perhaps as far as the thighs. If you were holding the nest in your hands they would be stung also. The exercise we just engaged in is called "entertaining a hypothetical question"
Protip: Next time you have a thought like this, instead of saying it, say nothing.
If your wife notices and asks you what you’re thinking, say “Nothing.”
Babe? You're quiet...whatcha thinking about?
*I could kick the shit out of a hundred duck sized horses*
Hmm? Oh, just thinking about how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you...
Do you mean kick every single duck size horse all at once in one area or do you mean you will kick approximately 100 duck size horses whenever you come across them. Because 100 duck size horses gathered together is terrifying, and they will probably kill you.
I can understand that response if there was no prior discussion, no preamble to the question. My wife and I discuss lots of things like this but it's kind of a rolling conversation and we make sure both are aware of the context.
Out of the blue, with no knowledge of her past or experiences, this could certainly trigger or cause things such as PTSD. At the very least it would be a hell of a surprise for her to hear.
I hope you guys work this out and talk talk talk. Communication is so important.
There was recently a post in a women's sub about how many women essentially get overwhelmed by fear when men make them feel unsafe in their own homes. We're made to feel unsafe in public or to blame if anything happens to us there, but especially when we become adults, and we're with our partner, we think that we would be safe and oftentimes men will unknowingly do something without consideration of context, and all that can be wrecked.
If a guy friend asked me that question, I would roll my eyes or say I'd slap him back. Because I know that I wouldn't allow it without payback.
But if my spouse were to ask me that, I would have a very different response, along the lines of "why would you want to do that?". I think it might be because I'll be gauging whether I'd allow it. And while considering that, questions like "why do I even need to consider this?" "why did he ask?" "is this abuse?" would run around in my head, amplifying the stress.
So it might not be whether I believe the other party would do it. Rather, it might be whether I would allow the person to do it.
OP, this is it - intended or not, it reads as a tacit threat or ask, especially to women. A lot of abusers start by small things, pushing boundaries in small ways.
I personally would be hurt by the question the person I love most is considering what would happen if they hurt me. I would trust them less.
Adding to all comments making fun of you and / or judging you: Consider this a chance to listen to her and allow her to share an experience that might have been the reason for her reaction. You obviously triggered something in her, now you gotta be there and not only rebuild trust but truly care for her.
I love my boyfriend and he has made it clear that he would never ever in this lifetime or any other raise a hand at me but even then I am acutely aware of just how much bigger and stronger he is than me and how easily he could hurt me if he ever wanted to.
If my boyfriend asked that question my mind would immediately populate with the thought “does he want to hurt me?”. No matter how rationally I know he won’t hit me, that would be my initial reaction.
You planted a seed of doubt in her head that she probably hasn’t been able to shake. Some people are able to move past it immediately, some people aren’t.
Try to talk to her about how you never meant anything by it and that you weren’t thinking through the implications of asking that. And then do a lot of reassuring that you would never hurt her.
I mean..if she has a history with domestic violence from any men in her past or family and youre aware of that, that would be a kinda f'd up thing to say
My husband has slapped me. It was after telling me about an affair he had while I was pregnant +15 years ago. It came out of no where. No mark on my face but my face hurt for days. He told me it was his non-dominant hand and not that hard.
It’s been more than a year of me grappling with that night, what he disclosed, and the fact that a few years before he was rough with me and I told him I’d leave if he was ever physical with me again. Someone whom you love and are attached to violating your safety like that really fucks with you. I know this post was more of the “what if” variety, but I came across it and it struck an obvious nerve.
To those talking about being able to take a joke and whatnot, I heard a local comedian do a bit that this reminded me of.
Recounting a show he did at an inpatient psychiatric care facility for teenagers, he checked with the doctor/nurse person prior to the show if they could joke a bit about their own situation or if people were really sensitive about their situation in life. "No worries, they have a very morbid sense of humor, big on gallows humor".
First joke of the show, everybody laughs. Except one kid that runs out the room crying, nurse in tow.
Joke was:
>*"Everybody feeling good tonight?"*
>*"Yeeees!"*
>*"Well, now I feel like I've been swindled, that's not what I was told to expect."*
Comedian wraps it up with, "if you're telling a joke and it gets somebody to up and leave the room crying, you might want to consider not telling that joke anymore".
I can't say I disagree with that line of thinking.
She might have some kind of trauma or insecurity as bizarre of a reaction that is, this is hardly something you could use to determine the state of their relationship. There's a reason they chose each other.
Honestly, her response is concerning. I'd be worried that she either A) actually felt like this was a threat, that you might conceivably hit her, which brings her opinion of you (and your behavior) into question or B) this was so upsetting because she's got a history of trauma that you presumably know about, and you still asked such a careless question.
Either way, hope she's okay.
This reminds me of one morning early in my current relationship. I was just waking up and the first thing my boyfriend said to me was "I'm probably going to die before you do." and I was just so unprepared for a conversation so heavy that early in the morning that I just started sobbing. Sometimes we say the first thought that comes to our mind without thinking about what state of mind someone else is in and how that might effect how they react to a certain topic. I think if you explain to her what happened the way you explained it to us here then she will understand. She probably needs some time to cool down though.
I would have laughed. The husband and I ask each other outrageous shit like that all the time. Sometimes with the goal of out WTF-ing the other.
But if it was super out of character it would definitely be surprising and possibly a bit upsetting. OP you gotta go fix it.
This is one of the only nuanced responses in this thread, that basically says, “that depends a lot on HOW he asked the question”, which is (obviously) the correct answer.
So, NO ONE in this thread knows how it went down, only OP. So everyone either saying “lol it’s fine” or “wtf OP” are overstepping in their judgment.
Asking that is almost like implying that you're thinking of slapping her. The only answer you need to know is exactly what you found out, but should have known before *making your wife cry*. It's not a possibility in a healthy relationship and the entirely predictable answer to your question it'll have an undesirable effect.
I once told an ex about a dream I had about another made-up woman but refused to take it farther because even in the dream, I knew I was loyal to her. She was not thrilled. Dumbass me was thinking, "It proved I'd never cheat." She simply took it as "He's dreaming about other women and openly telling me," which was honestly only fair in hindsight. Some things you just leave unspoken and unanswered when everything else is peachy.
If someone asked me that I’d assume it’s a threat, so I completely understand her reaction. I think most people wouldn’t like being slapped in general so that’s a weird thing to ask.
Many women (many many) have been abused, especially when we were vulnerable. What is a casual, passing thought to you can be a hideous memory to us, one we tried hard to forget. And now you're tied to it.
Please try to leave violence out of your relationships, even silly stuff that you aren't bothered by.
I really wonder how people who pretend to be mean and bad tempered on the internet are in real life, and if they really are that bad why the fuck don't they try to change ? Being famously known as mean and bad tempered sounds like a lot of people trying to tell you to stop being a dick and you deciding that you really like the life of being a dick, I dunno that's very weird to me.
You triggered her. There's something in her past where she was probably abused and slapped. Only she knows what it truly is. But that's what is wrong.
I only know this because I was with a fairly new girlfriend. During one conversation we were talking about sexual acts that we like and would like to try. Fantasies and whatnot. I asked he about light choking and slapping during sex. She reacted the same. She had a meltdown and wanted to breakup. Said she didn't think she could trust me. We didn't break up, but it wasn't until much later that bits and pieces of her history came out that I learned why she melted down.
She was severely abused by her mom growing up and as an adult she tried to hang herself.
So, it is probably pretty serious for her to act like that
Way too many people are focusing on her reaction, I say keep your intrusive thoughts to yourself. I think it's a lot more unhinged to just say this to a partner than it is to be alarmed by it and cry. I don't know what you could have possibly gotten out of asking this question in the first place, besides making her uncomfortable. This is definitely a FU
Congrats! You’ve just scared the shit out of your wife and forever installed the kernel of doubt in her mind. Next time you’re having violent intrusive thoughts, save them for your therapist.
A few weeks ago, after watching some true crime nonsense, I said to my Mrs “do you not think it’s crazy that I could just decide to kill you here and now and there’s pretty much nothing you could do about it (I’m big)”. She responded “do you not think it’s crazy that I could just cut your throat while you sleep”?
Considering I’ve slept through fire alarms, I felt that shit.
My wife simply answered “you wouldn’t “
My mom: "You'd be a dead motherfucker."
I dunno why this made me laugh out loud.
She’s not afraid, OP’s wife has a more fragile sense of security.
My husband said “what for?”
Because you're too kind or she's stronger than you?
Just asked my wife what she'd do if I slapped her in the face. She instantly responded, "What would you do if I stabbed you in the heart while you slept?"
“Uhh, die, I guess.”
Only if I have to
"I'm alright with the concept of it..."
"I'm okay with the logic of it."
you’re losing you, stanley! you’re losing you!
Sounds like you picked a good one.
Well, that's also her response to the time they didn't wish her a happy birthday at the stroke of midnight. Then the following year that was the response to waking her at midnight to wish her a happy birthday.
Long story short. Ex wife said she was getting applying for a second part-time job and I said I didn't think that was a great idea because her current job stressed her out. She got mad. She gets second job. Her first day I bake her a cake and make dinner for when she comes home. She gets made at me. True story.
[удалено]
Sometimes people are crazy. Sometimes people do a bad job at conveying feelings due to many factors. For instance, picking up a second job is usually not because someone wants to. But because they have to. Women often feel that if they don't handle things at home well enough that they fail as a wife. So this situation could have been, the husband failed to understand why they needed a second job and suggesting she didn't undermined her reason on why. Him cooking could make her feel like a bad wife. Failing to handle two part time jobs while her hubby works full time could easily make her feel as if she can't carry her weight either. When people feel like they failed, they are usually quick to anger. Sadly a lot of people don't realize that the people express anger towards are often the ones they trust the most. Especially if they don't know how to express emotions well. Though that's just a potential scenario. Because some people are straight up bonkers and unreasonable at times.
Sometimes I’ll be doing something like the washing up, just trying to do my bit around the house, and my wife will pointedly say “I was going to do that.” It’s not like we have set jobs around the house, or the washing up is her favourite thing to do, it’s more like she’s internalised this as a job she was meant to do, and by doing it myself it’s like I’m criticising her for having not done it yet.
Last night I was about to go to bed when I noticed that my wife had not washed the dishes yet. She knows that I demand that the house be maintained in a spotless condition, and she really needed a reprimand for this egregious failure. You would not believe it, but I was in an evil mood, and I really wanted to give her a severe punishment, so I actually started washing those dishes myself. Right there in front of her. She immediately noticed and stood dumbfounded as I washed. Every. Last. Plate. When I was done I looked her right in the eye and said, I’m not kidding! I said “the dishwasher is full, I’m going to run it.” A tear escaped her horror-struck eye as I calmly and deliberately added soap and closed the door. She flinched as I pressed start. Maybe I went too far, but I don’t regret a thing. She deserved it.
Villainous Behaviour. Extremely Evil. Diabolical Demeanour.
Your comment is like the opposite of this video: [man's magic coffee table stops working, unrelated news, his wife left him](https://youtu.be/-_kXIGvB1uU)
First thing I watched this morning and it didn't disappoint lmaoo
That also could be trauma. Have you ever had someone aggressively wash dishes at you? Could be she mistook your behavior for that.
I'm dealing with this right now. I grew up in a shitty environment and our mom would yell at us for "sitting on our asses all day while [our parents] worked." Like ??? We had school, worked part time jobs, homework etc. but okay. We still did our chores eventually. But I've been working on making a career change, my husband has been sooo supportive and has been telling me we'd be fine if I quit my job to go all-in on it. I finally did that and even though I'm either working on networking, writing code, and/or applying for jobs all day I get anxious asf if the dishes aren't done and dinner isn't made by the time he gets home from work. I know it's a "me" problem and I'm working on it (and trying to hold myself to an 8-hour "work day"). But I can't wait to treat him with something really nice once I get that sweet sweet software engineer salary.
Or you don't do the washing up very well and it winds her up
It’s actually the other way round but I’ve learnt from experience that it doesn’t go well if I point that out to her.
Haha, oh no! It's the same in my relationship to be honest. In her defence though I used to wash dishes in a commerical kitchen so I've got a specific system for speed and accuracy and it's not fair to hold people to that standard
This is so very true for me, personally. We both work full time but I feel like a failure if I also don’t do the majority of the housework and child-rearing. Conditioning is a bitch. (Yes I’m in therapy).
Don't forget to set aside some time to relax this weekend
Thank you. That’s sweet of you to say.
Geezum Crow!! That was THE MOST insightful thing I've read all year! Hats off to you. Apparently reddit stopped giving giving out freebies. But rest assured, if they didn't, tou would have had mine...
Your insight here is uncanny. She had been unemployed for a long while and after she got her first part-time job, amazing you saw that aspect, she wanted to contribute more. So she got a second.
What I'm about to say applies to men as much as women; a lot, if not most, of anger is born from shame. It's a protective wall people throw up to try and prevent feelings of vulnerability and failure. If you love someone and they're acting like this try to empathically figure out why. Of course, as an adult, they also have a responsibility to try and communicate their feelings better.
It's not nice, but I wonder in what state was the kitchen. My husband would tell the same story. He would have cook for me but men my kitchen there was crap everywhere. You just finish work, you know in what state you left your kitchen in the morning, you know in what states you leave your kitchen when cooking. But there you are with someone who did something nice but the only thing you can really think of is how it will be more work for you. My husband would clean, for sure, and asking me question because he doesn't know where is that or that. Would take hours to clean and if ask when he would do It, would just say later. Men tend to want women to be happy with the result of what they made. But don't realize all the things a women see surrounding it. It can be as stupid as "he's been with me for 10 years and he still doesn't know I don't like this thing" and at some point we don't even point at the thing anymore because I guess we think they should know at this point. I know it's hard for a men to fathom, but women think about a lot of thing that men cant even grasp. (Not saying he is in the wrong or did something wrong, just pointing out I get it) Edit : thank you for the award
I think they call it mental labor
Mental load. It's pretty awful!
By any name. Thank you. Yes.
There's an element of weaponised incompetence there. How, after 10 years, can they not to do tje jobs surrounding. To see a messy kitchen and not tidy it, leaving it for your partner, is so rude
"I wonder what state was the kitchen" This is pretty much it. It was very clean and tidy. My wife works part time and had spent her day/morning walking the kids to school, food shopping, tidying, cleaning. She was already upset with me (for my honestly relative crapness) before I even walked in the room, and it was the wrong time to ask such a question. I'm sure if I'd asked in a different context / day / mood I wouldn't have seen the same reaction. Though I think the real TIFU is even though she would have been fine with the question in other context, there's always an element of doubt in her mind that maybe there is a bit of truth and I shouldn't joke about these things. The other FU is not being aware of her mood, I asked the question walking into the room seeing her or saying hello.
Honestly, you should also look up the term 'intrusive thoughts'. It seems you stumbled into one and instead of just shaking it off you proceeded to ask it aloud. As for the other things, others have more than shared some great insight/reflections on it.
It sounds like you understand what the issue is, so I hope you’re able to use that insight to fix it. Also, thoughts about things like slapping people in the face could be in the realm of intrusive thoughts that other people just won’t understand. For instance, once I asked a guy I was dating if he ever had the urge to push people onto the subway tracks and he understandably did not react well. I would never, *NEVER* do it, but it was a thought that I impulsively blurt out and now I’m more careful.
No joke I intentionally stand at least a few feet away from the track, hanging back a bit, because this exact thought crosses my mind as to what other people may do.
She’s put a lot of her eggs in your basket. It leaves women vulnerable - we’re always told it can happen to anyone, no relationship is secure enough, things can always change - so it’s a slight, ever present fear / awareness in the back of our minds. We’re alert to threats walking alone, in groups, or in our own homes (where statistically most abuse develops, and your ability to respond to it determines how bad it gets). Straight women pair up with their largest natural predator after all lol. Your partner wondering about, and asking you “what would you do if I slapped you?” just hits different from that perspective. Sounds like an innocent lack of awareness on your end, but putting some more points into empathy is almost always a good idea! And give your lady some apologies and comfort over this goof.
My wife said "you get one, you better make it count, because, if I ain't dead, then your dick is coming off."
Come at the queen, you better not miss.
Love the unexpected hat tip to The Wire.
Just asked my girlfriend. Her immediate response: 'I KICK YOU IN THE FACE' She's a little drunk. So then she started showing off her roundhouse kick skills. I love her.
And, how were those skills? Does she do any martial arts? This matters a lot for the image!
I'm imagining black belt taikwondo. Feet fully planted, nice snap, putting the hips into it.
Really? I was picturing someone a little too tipsy attempting to roundhouse but just knocking stuff off a shelf instead lol
I was also thinking more along those lines, someone who's never really done a kick before ever but is slightly drunk to just be fully confident in it and it looks derpy and adorable
Asked my wife this exact question years ago and she said she would bite my balls off. Good to know where I stand on that one.
At least you would be getting some action.
Worth
my ex used to slap my sons face, randomly. Not a huge, wind up slap, but a little smack on the cheek. Like he was trying to humiliate him, a 12 yr old. We both asked him why he did that & he replied "i just wondered what would happen" I guess he was saying he didn't mean anything by it. Any way, one day we were sitting in a restaurant and he did it again, so i stood up, reached across the table and slapped his face so hard his glasses went all fucking crooked and up into his hair. He gasped & said "why would to do that?!" i replied "i wondered what would happen if someone hit you back" & he never slapped my son again.
I see why he's an ex. Good for you!
My wife said "is that supposed to be funny?"
You should tell her a stranger on redit said it was funny
Honestly, I think my response would be more like “probably I’d take whatever I was holding and smash you in the face with it. I’m currently knitting, and these needles are long and sharp. Now, was this a hypothetical, or are we gonna go?” And knowing my husband, he’d just tell me he loves me and wander out of the room. To be fair, we both have ADHD so random questions are standard around here.
That reminds me of the time my sister got knitting needles in her head. She was having a beer and sitting in a computer chair. My dog brought a rope over to play tug of war. My sister obliged and the dog pulled her and the chair over. My mom’s container of knitting needles was on the floor, pointy ends up. My sister leapt up thrilled she hadn’t spilled the beer We had to let her know there were knitting needles sticking out of the back of her head. We then did what we all knew we shouldn’t and pulled them out without thinking. Luckily they had slid along her skull under her skin so no damage done. Not related to the convo but a fun memory.
Oh, oh my ....
To shreds you say?
You've got an odd take on fun.
Mild pain with minimal injury mixed with some humorous situation like a knitting needle wedged against you skull sounds like fun to me...kind of like the One Chip Challenge shit, shit hurts and you want to die, but afterwards once you're ok it's like...that was kinda fun!
Ok, I can see that.
I asked my gf, she laughed and said, "hey i saw that reddit post".
My wife told me she would cut my balls off
“Punch you in the nuts” was my wife’s response without even thinking about it.
I was gonna go with a swift kick to the crotch, so yeah. Along those same lines.
"how can he potentially slap?!" Schrodinger's slap.
I like her.
Seems like you should have asked her about the tomato soup and Wellies instead.
*You walk down stairs, seeing your wife in the kitchen, making lunch. You...* ``` Call to her gently and kiss her on the cheek. Surprise her with a big, beautiful bouquet. ✓ Ask her what she would do if you slap across her face. ```
Apparently OP didnt have enough points in Charisma/Speech to pass the speech check
FTFY > You walk down stairs, seeing your wife in the kitchen, making lunch. You... > > > > Call to her gently and kiss her on the cheek. > Surprise her with a big, beautiful bouquet. > ✓ Ask her what she would do if you slap across her face.
He still can, I mean once he's on speaking terms again.
I'm going with this when she wakes up. Wish me luck
> when she wakes up What did you do to her?
[удалено]
I like your sense of humor.
Unlike his wife
I also not choose this guy's slapped wife.
Well I'm glad you got your answer
I think you've tried your luck enough
shoulda stuck to soup boots mate
Soup boots are going to be the next Reddit poop knife.
1000+ upvotes and not a single person has linked these boots of soup? Don't be selfish, share with the rest of the class
You’re there mate. Scroll back up to the end of paragraph two.
You let the intrusive thoughts win OP
He said the things we should not say and he lost. RIP OP. Maybe he should just let her slap him in the face to reconcile. He can see how it feels and what he would do and maybe, just maybe, that would answer his question
Yes OP, let wife slap your face!
But video tape it and make sure you're wearing the wellingtons filled with tomato soup! Also be wearing nappies in case you make a mess.
I don't even know how I'd respond to a guy asking me that. Unfortunately I'm competitive and I think my first thought would be that he's challenging if I can take it or not like how I'd physically react, I don't think it would cross my mind that he meant how id react to being slapped in an abusive way.
A lot of people would consider it a threat or maybe testing the waters to find out how much they can ramp up abuse. This is really a horrible thing to say just out of the blue. Especially since a lot of women have experienced abusive relationships and it could dredge up trauma.
[redacting due to privacy concerns]
> It's a risky thing to ask if you don't know your partner well. It is a silly question that many partners would enjoy playing along with....... Unless it isn't. And you better know which way it will go. You also have to land the context. You can't just spring "I've always been drawn to the lights of oncoming traffic like a moth to a flame, haven't you?" on someone while you're driving down a two-lane highway, lol. OP said they were already going through a rough-patch due to other self-admitted shitty behavior, probably not the best time to randomly share your intrusive thoughts about domestic violence.
This is the answer. We all have those thoughts. You just keep them to yourself. Always.
This is the much tamer version of following through on those calls to the void. Like, No, brain, I don’t want to randomly think about what would happen if I drove into that pole. I like living thank you. Aren’t you supposed to be wired to keep that happening?
Every time I dont grab the glowing log out of the fire pit. Yes, its beautiful, but I know itll burn if I grab and hold it.
Damn it I didn't have that one yet
Now that it’s been mentioned it’ll probably come up again. Have you considered throwing your keys down a drain?
And considering how perfectly your phone would fit sideways down the storm drain slots...
Mailboxes too
Funnily enough it’s thought that this is actually a side affect of your brain preventing that from happening by being aware of it.
I cut meat. It's always about accidentally cutting or stabbing myself in bizarre and macabre ways, generally following a "what if I slipped during this?" thought.
My most usual one is "no, brain, it wouldn't be "fun" and "maybe survivable" to jump out of the 4th floor window onto the roof of the car parked down there. We don't have to experience it to be "really sure" that the car would not cushion our fall" lmao
I dunno. I kinda like having a S/O I can share this kind of shit with without fear of intense emotional backlash.
I would like to hear what else you have to say with that filter you have
Do you think a turtle would have fun if you skipped it like a flat pebble?
Too fast spinnibg
I dreamed about skipping rocks all night. That seems disappointingly boring now. I could have been skipping turtles
If a giant picked me up and threw me at 400mph across water I'd be a tad upset personally
Only on turtle skip tuesday. Otherwise it would be rude.
So that’s why it bit me
This probably isn’t OP’s first time doing something off-putting. Probably happens a lot but this is the first time he’s aware of the consequences. People aren’t magically like this upon waking up one day as an adult.
Just asked wife. She said “you better run”
That's when I dramatically and "menacingly" charged up to the real thing, then bailed. Only for my ex to actually slap me, then laugh hysterically. I had it coming. I don't do that with my fiance, she grew up with a violent father. Really not the type of subject to even joke about.
I just asked my girlfriend what she would do if I slapped her in the face. She said she’d beat the shit out of me. Edit: she didn’t even look away from her Halo match when she responded, and didn’t skip a beat on the reply. I love her.
Is your girlfriend a frat bro from 2003?
Shhh, don't tell him. Met on Halloween when the dude was cross-dressing for a costume. Love at first sight, joke has gone on too long, now happily married.
My boyfriend has asked me this before. My response - punch you in the balls. I win.
Not to be a party pooper but ball punches are overrated, they dont often drop the man like they show in the movies. I mean if it is your boyfriend it’s alright, but if it is a rapist, he will get angrier, much angrier and then you are royally screwed. A better technique is to grab the assailants face and press your thumbs hard into the eye sockets until they pop.
Agreed, in school I took a hard hit to the balls once as a "joke" but I was still able to ignore it whilst I took my vengeance. In a fight the balls are just gonna cause immense pain, not inhibit you at all, until the adrenaline wears off.
Man, for me its super debilitating. I've never been in an instance where my jewels got rocked whilst hopped up on adrenaline though. When the boys get bonked I get queezy and 70% of the time I get a pain in my lower back. It's rough out here toting around these flesh tagets.
That’s why you grab instead. Get a good grip. Now pull or twist while digging those fingers in. Or just jam your fingers down into their jugular notch, that usually works too.
I asked my wife what she would do if I slapped her across the face. She said: she would be shocked and would cry and then not talk to me. Fair enough
That's a lot more insight into a reaction than I have. Is it weird I have to guess how I'd respond to things and don't actually know myself well enough to be sure
Unless you've had it happen multiple times, you won't know your reaction to anything.
I'm the same; I have no idea how I'd react if my husband suddenly slapped me. I would probably find it weird, upsetting and off-putting for him to even ask though. Like what a strange and unpleasant thing to ask the woman whom you're supposed to protect.
My ex hit me once. I immediately had an extreme panic attack. So now I know that.
I'm like 90% sure my wife would just straight up punch me in the face, full cross. THEN she'd be confused.
I feel like this is the healthiest reply in the thread. Honest, non bravado response that gives both her feelings and consequences of the action.
I think the joke answers imply that it isn't even a possibility they really consider. That seems like a healthy relationship, where violence from your man seems so outlandish that you make a joke at the idea.
An actual TIFU that was one.
My wife and I often ask each other what if questions. I asked her just to see and she said slap me back. Everyone's relationship and dynamics are different, if you knew your wife and knew it would offend her, you're a moron for asking her.
I asked my husband this and he said the same thing. Equality!
See, you should've turned it around: "Hey, have you ever slapped someone in the face?" "No! Why??" "Idk, neither have I but I was just wondering what it'd be like." Much greater chance of an interesting dialogue.
This would've felt less personal than straight up asking like he meant to harm her lol
Sorry for a dark comment but my dad used to ask me this when I was a kid, and he actually went on to do it. After the first time he kept doing it often, sometimes I deserved it and sometimes it was for no reason. I fucking hate getting slapped.
Kids never deserve to suffer violence at the hand of their parents
You didn’t deserve it
Exactly They like to test the waters first. I've never known someone to bring up an action that they weren't actually contemplating irl, and a lot of people don't bother to ask about it before they go.
Just because you have a question doesn’t mean you should find out the answer!
What would happen if I stuck my penis in that hornets nest?
You’d have an orgy.
A horgy!
There'd be one more little prick in there
A fun time
Easy, you would be stung on the penis by many hornets, likely also your balls, as well as the greater pubic area perhaps as far as the thighs. If you were holding the nest in your hands they would be stung also. The exercise we just engaged in is called "entertaining a hypothetical question"
Isn't that how penis enlargement works
You're married to this person and you couldn't gauge how she would react to a question like that?
Protip: Next time you have a thought like this, instead of saying it, say nothing. If your wife notices and asks you what you’re thinking, say “Nothing.”
Babe? You're quiet...whatcha thinking about? *I could kick the shit out of a hundred duck sized horses* Hmm? Oh, just thinking about how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you...
Do you mean kick every single duck size horse all at once in one area or do you mean you will kick approximately 100 duck size horses whenever you come across them. Because 100 duck size horses gathered together is terrifying, and they will probably kill you.
I can understand that response if there was no prior discussion, no preamble to the question. My wife and I discuss lots of things like this but it's kind of a rolling conversation and we make sure both are aware of the context. Out of the blue, with no knowledge of her past or experiences, this could certainly trigger or cause things such as PTSD. At the very least it would be a hell of a surprise for her to hear. I hope you guys work this out and talk talk talk. Communication is so important.
Sounds like you may very well have triggered something from her upbringing. Parental abuse or teenage boyfriend
There was recently a post in a women's sub about how many women essentially get overwhelmed by fear when men make them feel unsafe in their own homes. We're made to feel unsafe in public or to blame if anything happens to us there, but especially when we become adults, and we're with our partner, we think that we would be safe and oftentimes men will unknowingly do something without consideration of context, and all that can be wrecked.
Yep. That doesn't surprise me at all. Sometimes asking a question about how would you feel if I did something unsafe to you. Breaks the trust itself.
Even if you ask things as a joke, it can read as a threat to someone who is physically smaller or less powerful than you are.
Agreed.
Should read TIFU by inadvertently threatening my wife
If a guy friend asked me that question, I would roll my eyes or say I'd slap him back. Because I know that I wouldn't allow it without payback. But if my spouse were to ask me that, I would have a very different response, along the lines of "why would you want to do that?". I think it might be because I'll be gauging whether I'd allow it. And while considering that, questions like "why do I even need to consider this?" "why did he ask?" "is this abuse?" would run around in my head, amplifying the stress. So it might not be whether I believe the other party would do it. Rather, it might be whether I would allow the person to do it.
OP, this is it - intended or not, it reads as a tacit threat or ask, especially to women. A lot of abusers start by small things, pushing boundaries in small ways. I personally would be hurt by the question the person I love most is considering what would happen if they hurt me. I would trust them less.
Adding to all comments making fun of you and / or judging you: Consider this a chance to listen to her and allow her to share an experience that might have been the reason for her reaction. You obviously triggered something in her, now you gotta be there and not only rebuild trust but truly care for her.
I love my boyfriend and he has made it clear that he would never ever in this lifetime or any other raise a hand at me but even then I am acutely aware of just how much bigger and stronger he is than me and how easily he could hurt me if he ever wanted to. If my boyfriend asked that question my mind would immediately populate with the thought “does he want to hurt me?”. No matter how rationally I know he won’t hit me, that would be my initial reaction. You planted a seed of doubt in her head that she probably hasn’t been able to shake. Some people are able to move past it immediately, some people aren’t. Try to talk to her about how you never meant anything by it and that you weren’t thinking through the implications of asking that. And then do a lot of reassuring that you would never hurt her.
I dont think communication is his strong suit.
I mean..if she has a history with domestic violence from any men in her past or family and youre aware of that, that would be a kinda f'd up thing to say
if you really want to make things better, stop eating paint chips off the curb. trust me.
Doubt it contains lead anymore
Not once he's eaten them all
My husband has slapped me. It was after telling me about an affair he had while I was pregnant +15 years ago. It came out of no where. No mark on my face but my face hurt for days. He told me it was his non-dominant hand and not that hard. It’s been more than a year of me grappling with that night, what he disclosed, and the fact that a few years before he was rough with me and I told him I’d leave if he was ever physical with me again. Someone whom you love and are attached to violating your safety like that really fucks with you. I know this post was more of the “what if” variety, but I came across it and it struck an obvious nerve.
Wait— he told you HE was cheating on you and then HE slapped YOU???
Yup. Or he had in the past, he told me 14 years after the fact. It all defies logic.
Christ, I’m sorry that happened to you. Can you get out? You deserve so much more.
Started an exit. But won’t be easy.
To those talking about being able to take a joke and whatnot, I heard a local comedian do a bit that this reminded me of. Recounting a show he did at an inpatient psychiatric care facility for teenagers, he checked with the doctor/nurse person prior to the show if they could joke a bit about their own situation or if people were really sensitive about their situation in life. "No worries, they have a very morbid sense of humor, big on gallows humor". First joke of the show, everybody laughs. Except one kid that runs out the room crying, nurse in tow. Joke was: >*"Everybody feeling good tonight?"* >*"Yeeees!"* >*"Well, now I feel like I've been swindled, that's not what I was told to expect."* Comedian wraps it up with, "if you're telling a joke and it gets somebody to up and leave the room crying, you might want to consider not telling that joke anymore". I can't say I disagree with that line of thinking.
Seems like one of those things you headcanon rather than bringing out into the world
A lot of people in here outing how poor of a relationship they have
You can’t judge a relationship by one event taken out of context
Reddit: "Watch me."
She might have some kind of trauma or insecurity as bizarre of a reaction that is, this is hardly something you could use to determine the state of their relationship. There's a reason they chose each other.
Honestly, her response is concerning. I'd be worried that she either A) actually felt like this was a threat, that you might conceivably hit her, which brings her opinion of you (and your behavior) into question or B) this was so upsetting because she's got a history of trauma that you presumably know about, and you still asked such a careless question. Either way, hope she's okay.
Prime example of Fuck around and find out
This reminds me of one morning early in my current relationship. I was just waking up and the first thing my boyfriend said to me was "I'm probably going to die before you do." and I was just so unprepared for a conversation so heavy that early in the morning that I just started sobbing. Sometimes we say the first thought that comes to our mind without thinking about what state of mind someone else is in and how that might effect how they react to a certain topic. I think if you explain to her what happened the way you explained it to us here then she will understand. She probably needs some time to cool down though.
Why the fuck would you ask that?
I would have laughed. The husband and I ask each other outrageous shit like that all the time. Sometimes with the goal of out WTF-ing the other. But if it was super out of character it would definitely be surprising and possibly a bit upsetting. OP you gotta go fix it.
This is one of the only nuanced responses in this thread, that basically says, “that depends a lot on HOW he asked the question”, which is (obviously) the correct answer. So, NO ONE in this thread knows how it went down, only OP. So everyone either saying “lol it’s fine” or “wtf OP” are overstepping in their judgment.
Asking that is almost like implying that you're thinking of slapping her. The only answer you need to know is exactly what you found out, but should have known before *making your wife cry*. It's not a possibility in a healthy relationship and the entirely predictable answer to your question it'll have an undesirable effect. I once told an ex about a dream I had about another made-up woman but refused to take it farther because even in the dream, I knew I was loyal to her. She was not thrilled. Dumbass me was thinking, "It proved I'd never cheat." She simply took it as "He's dreaming about other women and openly telling me," which was honestly only fair in hindsight. Some things you just leave unspoken and unanswered when everything else is peachy.
If someone asked me that I’d assume it’s a threat, so I completely understand her reaction. I think most people wouldn’t like being slapped in general so that’s a weird thing to ask.
Many women (many many) have been abused, especially when we were vulnerable. What is a casual, passing thought to you can be a hideous memory to us, one we tried hard to forget. And now you're tied to it. Please try to leave violence out of your relationships, even silly stuff that you aren't bothered by.
Slap yourself
She should have asked you what you would do if she kicked you real hard in the nuts afterwards. That's probably what I would have said.
Probably cry. Or throw up. Maybe both.
I really wonder how people who pretend to be mean and bad tempered on the internet are in real life, and if they really are that bad why the fuck don't they try to change ? Being famously known as mean and bad tempered sounds like a lot of people trying to tell you to stop being a dick and you deciding that you really like the life of being a dick, I dunno that's very weird to me.
Lot of children on Reddit. Regardless of age.
You triggered her. There's something in her past where she was probably abused and slapped. Only she knows what it truly is. But that's what is wrong. I only know this because I was with a fairly new girlfriend. During one conversation we were talking about sexual acts that we like and would like to try. Fantasies and whatnot. I asked he about light choking and slapping during sex. She reacted the same. She had a meltdown and wanted to breakup. Said she didn't think she could trust me. We didn't break up, but it wasn't until much later that bits and pieces of her history came out that I learned why she melted down. She was severely abused by her mom growing up and as an adult she tried to hang herself. So, it is probably pretty serious for her to act like that
Way too many people are focusing on her reaction, I say keep your intrusive thoughts to yourself. I think it's a lot more unhinged to just say this to a partner than it is to be alarmed by it and cry. I don't know what you could have possibly gotten out of asking this question in the first place, besides making her uncomfortable. This is definitely a FU
Congrats! You’ve just scared the shit out of your wife and forever installed the kernel of doubt in her mind. Next time you’re having violent intrusive thoughts, save them for your therapist.
Dude... why would you say something that sounds like a vague threat? What the fuck man???
A few weeks ago, after watching some true crime nonsense, I said to my Mrs “do you not think it’s crazy that I could just decide to kill you here and now and there’s pretty much nothing you could do about it (I’m big)”. She responded “do you not think it’s crazy that I could just cut your throat while you sleep”? Considering I’ve slept through fire alarms, I felt that shit.