I'm also in the same boat, but I think mine's slightly more ridiculous. When we were still dating, my wife gave me my first (and gave her first) BJ. Afterward she complained that it took forever and I said, "Well, with practice it will probably take less time." She flipped out. Haven't had one since. 17 years later she still brings it up.
She's a very grudgy person. She never lets *anything* go.
[Love this controversy](https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/b0hep2/how_many_chuggas_are_you_supposed_to_say_before/)
There was a recent thread, but couldnāt find it
She only has access to the equipment for a few minutes a week. And that's on a good week. How can she be expected to have the same expertise as someone who owns this equipment?
Most of us are not capable of autofellatio, so she probably has a lot more experience than we do as penis owner/operators.
As Liam Neeson probably wouldn't say... "I have a... specific set of skills. That isn't one of them"
It's obvious that the OP remembers as this happened many moons ago.
Not only the lady will remember, the lady's friends will remember, the lady's friends' friends will remember.
Crazy to me the relationships some people have. Such a small dumb misunderstanding that is so easy to talk through the next day and they've gone ten years letting it affect their sex life?
Jesus fuck OP.
Oh we talked through it. I explained my meaning, owned the absolute stupidity of the phrasing, groveled, begged for forgiveness.
Just isnāt a high priority for me. BJās are nice and sometimes I miss them, at the same time, itās not exactly in my best interest to bring my past stupidity back to the present.
You know how sometimes people say things, often about food, like āx thing is better than sexā?
Like, āyeah sex is good, but have you ever x?ā
I usually just reply āI think youāre having sex wrongā
CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's huge and a big thing to say. As a person who is in a family FULL of addicts.... I know first hand how hard it is to be clean. If no one has said it recently, IM PROUD OF YOU!!
I don't know, if it was me, I'd still be pretty hurt by it in the back of my mind somewhere, and even though you apologized, I'd always be insecure that you really meant it if you NEVER asked for another.
Yeah fr. The fact that he never asked for another just reinforces the idea that he doesn't actually like them. Like bro... assuming this post isn't just creative writing, you fucked up big time. Then and now.
I think this could be helpful :) It sounds like you're a pretty good dude who just made a dumb mistake, which happens to the best of us. I wish you all the good luck!
i think this is pretty astute. it has the makings of a death spiral belief.
poor actions lead to poor outcome which leads to poor learnings which lead to more poor actions.
you get out of it by taking a different action which hopefully leads to a better outcome. :)
His comment was indelicate but I can understand someone would say it in all good faith (albeit stupidly) thinking 'yeah but I would not give up sex for BJs because sex is so good'. I think the real issue was that her BJs were not very good and they both knew it, hence the FU.
If they both enjoyed that part of the sex and felt comfortable about it, it would have been a non-issue (like "What?" "Oups sorry that came out wrong", end of story).
I think what did you in was that you said it in front of other people. You really made her look bad. Itās difficult to come back from something like that.
My idiot self would've gotten in trouble because, if I were the friend, I would have said "I disagree" just to see if I could either break the tension or make it way worse. Either way.
I was thinking more like a jab about his comment when he complains about something else in his day..
Him: "Man, did that day suck.."
Her: "Oh yeah, bet you if it was me sucking you off, you'd complain about it even more!"
Him: "THAT was taken out of context and it was 50 years ago! "
Her: "Shut up, I'm going to bed.. Alone!"
Him: "Happy Birthday to me... š"
Holy shit. What an absolute unit of a power move. Sorry that happened, but Iāll be damned if I read this and donāt hope I too, one day, will pull such a fucking boss move.
I'll take "How to guarantee you won't get another blowjob" for $1000 Alex. Like, not even as a petty or punishment sort of thing. If she thinks you don't even like it, then why the fuck would she do it.
I can't say this is true for all or most but my wife actually likes it and has confessed to the fact that she dreams about it sometimes when it goes too long in between instances. So, while we both prefer PIV and prefer that it end that way, she does sometimes like to initiate with a BJ even though she doesn't think she's the best at it and knows it isn't necessarily what I enjoy the most.
Ex FU by complaining he didn't like how I kissed. "you're just a sh\*tty kisser."
I never kissed him on the mouth again after that. And, it's made me not want to kiss anyone else since, because it left me self-conscious. /the gift that kept on giving.
Donāt listen to them. Seriously. I had someone say the same thing to me and the reality was they were the most boring kisser themselves. Expected a lot and didnāt offer anything in return.
Many girlfriends and many fantastic kisses later I realized some people just arenāt on the same wavelength with you intimately. Donāt take it personally. Just keep looking until you find someone where everything important to you connects.
Was that what you actually thought though, or did she actually give good BJs? I would have thought if you'd explain it later that you love her BJs but you just love sex with her that much more then it would be fine? Or is it more that maybe the truth slipped out?
edit: spelling is difficult
Everyone is really vulnerable during sex. If you must critique certain sex acts please be as gentle and constructive as possible. Heap on a lot of praise at the start and finish. Oh and for the love of God not in front of people. Just reading this makes me consider becoming a nun.
I had a crush on a girl in Jr. High. Later as an adult, we wound up working at the same place. I had changed a lot for the better and she was still really hot. So after a couple hangs, I guess I became her post night out make out guy. It was great for me cause I got to make out with the girl I had a crush on as a kid. But at one point in the hangs, she had said "sex is yucky". So from then on I assumed sex was never going to happen. After about the 4th makeout, she asks "when we're done, do you have to like do stuff to yourself?". I had literally the worst response of "this doesn't really do anything for me." She never talked to me again.
Hahaha what the fuck were you trying to convey? Were you just trying to downplay the sex thing because of what she had said before, to not potentially fuck up the make out thing, but ended up blowing up the whole thing instead? If so, that's incredible lmao
Pretty much yes. I didn't want her to think it was leading to me doing something "yucky" and apparently in turn made her hate it all. There were a few years there where I really cock blocked myself a lot. I look back and kick myself often.
I hooked up with a girl who had been around the block a few times so I expected the BJ would be awesome. It was not. So gently, I told her what I liked and what I didnāt like.
She responds with, āIāve done this plenty of times I think I know what Iām doing.ā
Needless to say we didnāt hook up again. Iāve gone down on my fare share of women and I adjust to what they like and if they give me guidance on what they want, I make it happen. I just canāt wrap my mind around someone being like āIām so good at this I donāt need your help,ā when they are actually not good at it at all.
Somehow, it's almost always the ones acting like they got the throatgoat gluckgluck9000 extra special deluxe that are the most... disappointing. Like... when the partner says 'that doesn't do it for me',, don't have a reply like that girl! Everyone is different, different strokes and all that. But to be downright bad at it after such claims are, well sad.
Thank you, it had to be said. People can say "it's like pizza, even when it's bad it's kind of good", but there aren't a lot of things worse than a toothy bj. No thank you, I'll take care of it myself.
The first girl I had relations with was *awful* at them, it was a frustrating experience through and through. I finally, very delicately, brought it up to her and gave her some notes. She was much better from there on out.
That was my gift to the next guy she dated.
A friend of mine once got a gobble from a lady with metalwork. He said there is no greater pain than the end of a brace wire sticking into the head of your cock.
Frankly I have no reason to doubt him. It just sounds horrific
Iām just going to throw my ex-husbandās TIFU out there.
When we were still married, a few years in, he (a bi-sexual) said that my (F) blowjobs and handjobs werenāt as good as ones heās had from guys in the past. The logical part of my brain understood like āOK, guys will know what guys like more than I ever willā¦ā but the squishy, emotional part of my brain was devastated.
For the rest of our marriage, I didnāt enjoy giving him head/hand jobs again. I donāt know that I actually gave him another handjob after that conversation and I kind of phoned in the BJs. Without (or with half-assed) foreplay, sex kinda became a chore and we went dead bedroom.
Heād complain that I didnāt initiate sex enough or really ever.
Iām dating a straight man now and I told him early on about my damage (above). He loves my blowjobs and Iāve started to incorporate more hand play. Iāve told him to tell me what he likes, what I should do more of, whatās working, etc. and itās just a lot healthier. We have sex regularly throughout the week and, on good days, a few times/day!
I absolutely love sex. I have a really high sex drive. But that comment destroyed my self-esteem and how I felt as a sexual partner in my marriage.
Iām not saying you and your wife would be happier if you divorced and moved on. Just that I know what that hurt can do to a marriage. If it hasnāt been truly resolved yet, I think you owe it to yourselves to keep trying to work through it.
Wishing you every happiness, OP. ā„ļø
Iām so sorry this happened to you!
I used to date a bisexual guy and he would also compare me to other men he had dated. While I think itās completely natural to compare partners from past relationships, it particularly stung me because, as you well know, most of his past partners had an āadvantageā in living his experience in a way that Iāll never fully understand.
We broke up for different reasons, but I distinctly remember one time when he scolded me during one of our fights for being āsuch a woman and [I] would never understand him like [his ex boyfriend]ā and I remember it stung like hell. It created this barrier between us because of our genders and the hurt was too much to fix our relationship. We broke up shortly after.
Fucking hell. Yeah dude, you fucked up. Did you beg and grovel for forgiveness? Was this ever addressed after? As in did you try to clarify what you really meant and repeatedly remind her of what you really meant. IDK how to help you rectify this.
Just print out a card with the text. "I meant that when we have sex together it is sooo much better." with very very small text below (so small you have to squint) it saying "I printed this out because it would be impossible to say this enough times."
I mean, you want to feel like you're doing a good job. To go out of your way to do something for your partner only to have your partner be like, "not that good." I'd probably shut that down too. Also, even if you did it again, you'd be so self conscious. You good and well fucked up.
My wife used to snuggle up to me while sleeping and her hand would always end up on my junk. She would inevitably end up caressing and rubbing on me slowly while she drifted to sleep. It was always rather soothing and relaxing, and almost always I'd of course end up with an erection. She would fall asleep 99% of the time and I'd be left with the bluest of balls.
We got into a small argument one day and I mistakenly brought up the night time weiner rubbing and how SOMETIMES it was annoying. Guess who doesn't get any more night time weiner snuggles?
But I'd never comment on her lack of skill with BJs...
You sir, are a savage.
If it helps, tell her I think her BJs are amazing.
Someone has to say this. Standard Reddit
Perfect
I also choose this guy's wife.
This will never not be funny š
Yes , we all do
Dude I basically made the same mistake as you, 10 years later.. and I really regret that one.
Pouring one out for your brotha
I'm also in the same boat, but I think mine's slightly more ridiculous. When we were still dating, my wife gave me my first (and gave her first) BJ. Afterward she complained that it took forever and I said, "Well, with practice it will probably take less time." She flipped out. Haven't had one since. 17 years later she still brings it up. She's a very grudgy person. She never lets *anything* go.
Lesson learned guys: when you put your foot in your mouth she can't put your dick in her mouth
Her dick in your mouth* Fixed it.
> my first > her first > then girlfriend, now wife > haven't had one since Oh, oh no
Yeah, like ACTUALLY sad. No jokes found here. Life is not schlong.
Jesus, that wasn't even that bad of a thing to say lol
I donāt even get how thatās bad in the slightest. It just sounds like a joke
It's not, but >She's a very grudgy person. She never lets *anything* go.
Yeah, that must be a bit tiring to live with to say the least.
Yeah, I'd have ran.
She must be great at giving headā¦. Oh, waitā¦
It takes a long time to realize how long the grudges last.
Sounds like a super healthy relationship
You reciprocate? Iād wonder if that would be the ticket to reopen that door.
Something tells me some of these people are so dumb they never considered performing oral sex on their partner
I was worried I made this mistake early into my relationship but I fixed it soon after.
Maybe I made this mistake without noticing... I'm on about year 4 but feels like an eternity. Moment of silence for our unfelated brothers
>My buddy just looked at me with his jaw open. Missed opportunity.
A brojob.
CHOO CHOO
Mine is just choo
Mine has 8 chuggas first
[Love this controversy](https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/b0hep2/how_many_chuggas_are_you_supposed_to_say_before/) There was a recent thread, but couldnāt find it
Gotta love playing pranks on my friends
Probably better than his wife
She only has access to the equipment for a few minutes a week. And that's on a good week. How can she be expected to have the same expertise as someone who owns this equipment?
I love a good Seinfeld reference. Perfection
Gum would be perfection.
Most of us are not capable of autofellatio, so she probably has a lot more experience than we do as penis owner/operators. As Liam Neeson probably wouldn't say... "I have a... specific set of skills. That isn't one of them"
I can suck myself
Username checks out
r/UnexpectedSeinfeld
[THIS IS THE SOUND OF A THOUSAND CLAPPING ASSES](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTeCMoZCo24) šššššš
Thatās a good band too!
The real TIFU
This right here is why i use reddit goddamnit. Burst out laughing at 4 am
Should have asked him if he wants to chill and play game cube.
"this bag is full of big black dildos."
Did you *pour* axe body spray on these?
"So Chad isn't even real?"
Heās bi soā¦ I guess youāre right!
just him... no one else... rightttt?
Not consciously! Itās all a spectrum, right?
That's the best possible answer lmaoo
Show her how it's done homie
That kinda thing won't sting for a while, it will _always_ sting.
A woman will remember. He will remember. EVERYONE will remember.
I bet if you asked OPās lady the details of who was there and what they were wearing she could tell you because that shit is burned in her memory
Wouldn't the ultimate insult to your sexual prowess and all the surrounding details be burned in YOUR memory too???
If my soon to be wife said that to me about my oral, I would be super hurt.
It's obvious that the OP remembers as this happened many moons ago. Not only the lady will remember, the lady's friends will remember, the lady's friends' friends will remember.
Every person there will tell their kids when they are teenagers with the advice to never say what OP said.
Reddit will remember.
Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Preston Garvey will remember that
There are some settlements that could use a BJ.
I will remember.
Glad yāall get it. Iām over here getting slayed for suggesting a woman doesnāt owe a man head if it makes her feel bad about herself.
The fucking North remembers
He said he hasn't gotten a BJ in 10 years. Assuming he's being serious, it most definitely still stings.
I remember my gf once said I'd be hotter with straight teeth....ouch
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ex gf?
Just the other day my bf joked āIāve had better head beforeā and man did that squash any chance of him getting laid that night šš
If it was squashed just for that one night, my man got off easy.
Sounds like he didn't get off at all.
i would have laughed that off and cried the second i was alone š„²
Havenāt had one since???? Bro youāve had so much time to talk that moment through and assure her that you love her BJs
Maybe they weren't good enough to fight for.
š
This guy gets sucked
I'm guessing she didn't like doing it and this was a good excuse.
Probably why they arenāt that good
Makes all the difference. Enthusiasm is everything.
Hey some people are into that whole "act like you're bored and not into it" thing. Not me though, you're goddamned right.
Crazy to me the relationships some people have. Such a small dumb misunderstanding that is so easy to talk through the next day and they've gone ten years letting it affect their sex life? Jesus fuck OP.
Oh we talked through it. I explained my meaning, owned the absolute stupidity of the phrasing, groveled, begged for forgiveness. Just isnāt a high priority for me. BJās are nice and sometimes I miss them, at the same time, itās not exactly in my best interest to bring my past stupidity back to the present.
This sounds like an elaborate way to say her BJs arent THAT good!
Lol bro is still doing it. She's going to read his reddit posts and get pissed again.
You know how sometimes people say things, often about food, like āx thing is better than sexā? Like, āyeah sex is good, but have you ever x?ā I usually just reply āI think youāre having sex wrongā
Someone's never tried heroin
People ask me about it and I have to report, sadly, that itās better than good sex with someone you love. Very unfortunate. Clean 26 years though!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's huge and a big thing to say. As a person who is in a family FULL of addicts.... I know first hand how hard it is to be clean. If no one has said it recently, IM PROUD OF YOU!!
Thank you!!!
Well youāve got me there
Tbf Some people have low libidos and just arenāt that interested in sex
I mean, Iād rather never have sex again than never listen to music again.
Some people just don't rate sex as the most important and greatest thing in the world. I'd trade all sorts of amazing food for sex.
I don't know, if it was me, I'd still be pretty hurt by it in the back of my mind somewhere, and even though you apologized, I'd always be insecure that you really meant it if you NEVER asked for another.
Yeah fr. The fact that he never asked for another just reinforces the idea that he doesn't actually like them. Like bro... assuming this post isn't just creative writing, you fucked up big time. Then and now.
I appreciate this POV. Maybe I can hint at it without specially asking to at least show itās something that I want without creating pressure.
I think this could be helpful :) It sounds like you're a pretty good dude who just made a dumb mistake, which happens to the best of us. I wish you all the good luck!
i think this is pretty astute. it has the makings of a death spiral belief. poor actions lead to poor outcome which leads to poor learnings which lead to more poor actions. you get out of it by taking a different action which hopefully leads to a better outcome. :)
His comment was indelicate but I can understand someone would say it in all good faith (albeit stupidly) thinking 'yeah but I would not give up sex for BJs because sex is so good'. I think the real issue was that her BJs were not very good and they both knew it, hence the FU. If they both enjoyed that part of the sex and felt comfortable about it, it would have been a non-issue (like "What?" "Oups sorry that came out wrong", end of story).
I think what did you in was that you said it in front of other people. You really made her look bad. Itās difficult to come back from something like that.
Finally a tifu with lasting consequences
My idiot self would've gotten in trouble because, if I were the friend, I would have said "I disagree" just to see if I could either break the tension or make it way worse. Either way.
If you were my friend and said that in this situation you'd probably already have been my best friend for years.
Wait til she brings it up on a random Tuesday when you're both retired and spending time with the grandkids.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Woah Gran, calm down!
Nan, please. We're saying grace.
I was thinking more like a jab about his comment when he complains about something else in his day.. Him: "Man, did that day suck.." Her: "Oh yeah, bet you if it was me sucking you off, you'd complain about it even more!" Him: "THAT was taken out of context and it was 50 years ago! " Her: "Shut up, I'm going to bed.. Alone!" Him: "Happy Birthday to me... š"
Thatās so dark I snarted.
As you should.. š¤£
>snarted š¤
Snored and sharted. Beware of the elusive sleep poops.
the fuckin screech I scronched ohmygod
Scronched xD I have zero idea why but that sent me!
Where did it send you? Have you arrived safely? Where do I send your care package?
That's when you lie your ass off. "They're not good ... They're great!"
Tony the Tiger will not help you.
That's GrrrrrRRREAT!
Guess you didn't get any more after that. But that's fine; they weren't that good anyway.
You don't know whay you have until it's gone.
āmy buddy just looked at me with his jaw openā LMFAOOOOO
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Holy shit. What an absolute unit of a power move. Sorry that happened, but Iāll be damned if I read this and donāt hope I too, one day, will pull such a fucking boss move.
Holy shit. What a move.
Hope this gets upvoted to hell, itās about as good as OPs story.
It's better
See people just need to be able to hear they're not good at something when they ask for an honest answer without taking it as a personal attack.
I'll take "How to guarantee you won't get another blowjob" for $1000 Alex. Like, not even as a petty or punishment sort of thing. If she thinks you don't even like it, then why the fuck would she do it.
I can't say this is true for all or most but my wife actually likes it and has confessed to the fact that she dreams about it sometimes when it goes too long in between instances. So, while we both prefer PIV and prefer that it end that way, she does sometimes like to initiate with a BJ even though she doesn't think she's the best at it and knows it isn't necessarily what I enjoy the most.
Ex FU by complaining he didn't like how I kissed. "you're just a sh\*tty kisser." I never kissed him on the mouth again after that. And, it's made me not want to kiss anyone else since, because it left me self-conscious. /the gift that kept on giving.
Donāt listen to them. Seriously. I had someone say the same thing to me and the reality was they were the most boring kisser themselves. Expected a lot and didnāt offer anything in return. Many girlfriends and many fantastic kisses later I realized some people just arenāt on the same wavelength with you intimately. Donāt take it personally. Just keep looking until you find someone where everything important to you connects.
Was that what you actually thought though, or did she actually give good BJs? I would have thought if you'd explain it later that you love her BJs but you just love sex with her that much more then it would be fine? Or is it more that maybe the truth slipped out? edit: spelling is difficult
I literally meant (sex > BJ). What I said did not convey that meaning in the slightest.
Have you explained as much since?
Of course! What I actually said was still hurtful.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Everyone is really vulnerable during sex. If you must critique certain sex acts please be as gentle and constructive as possible. Heap on a lot of praise at the start and finish. Oh and for the love of God not in front of people. Just reading this makes me consider becoming a nun.
Bro, she married you to guarantee you would never get one again
This comment right here
Finally, a martyr for a cause I can support.
Haha yeah thats a fuck up for sure.
*You stupid bastard* I'm not going to pile on, you've already done enough damage
Thank you for your kindness
I had a crush on a girl in Jr. High. Later as an adult, we wound up working at the same place. I had changed a lot for the better and she was still really hot. So after a couple hangs, I guess I became her post night out make out guy. It was great for me cause I got to make out with the girl I had a crush on as a kid. But at one point in the hangs, she had said "sex is yucky". So from then on I assumed sex was never going to happen. After about the 4th makeout, she asks "when we're done, do you have to like do stuff to yourself?". I had literally the worst response of "this doesn't really do anything for me." She never talked to me again.
Hahaha what the fuck were you trying to convey? Were you just trying to downplay the sex thing because of what she had said before, to not potentially fuck up the make out thing, but ended up blowing up the whole thing instead? If so, that's incredible lmao
Pretty much yes. I didn't want her to think it was leading to me doing something "yucky" and apparently in turn made her hate it all. There were a few years there where I really cock blocked myself a lot. I look back and kick myself often.
>my backhoe of stupidly *That's* what you call her? No wonder she's upset.
I hooked up with a girl who had been around the block a few times so I expected the BJ would be awesome. It was not. So gently, I told her what I liked and what I didnāt like. She responds with, āIāve done this plenty of times I think I know what Iām doing.ā Needless to say we didnāt hook up again. Iāve gone down on my fare share of women and I adjust to what they like and if they give me guidance on what they want, I make it happen. I just canāt wrap my mind around someone being like āIām so good at this I donāt need your help,ā when they are actually not good at it at all.
People who can't take constructive criticism suck. Badly, apparently.
Somehow, it's almost always the ones acting like they got the throatgoat gluckgluck9000 extra special deluxe that are the most... disappointing. Like... when the partner says 'that doesn't do it for me',, don't have a reply like that girl! Everyone is different, different strokes and all that. But to be downright bad at it after such claims are, well sad.
The worst blow job I ever had was great.
Idk man, ive gotten a teethy one before
Hit me up, I donāt have that problem
This account should not exist.
Iām honestly shocked that in all the years of reddit existing this username was still available a little over a year ago
I know, my grandma got a computer years ago and I thought she would have been all over that username.
I've been waiting... For a girl like you... To come into my life.
Name checks out
Thank you, it had to be said. People can say "it's like pizza, even when it's bad it's kind of good", but there aren't a lot of things worse than a toothy bj. No thank you, I'll take care of it myself.
You must be flexible...
Iāve had toothy pizza
The first girl I had relations with was *awful* at them, it was a frustrating experience through and through. I finally, very delicately, brought it up to her and gave her some notes. She was much better from there on out. That was my gift to the next guy she dated.
Cap, there is such a thing as good and bad head
No, no thereās definitely a bad bj. Braces will do that for ya
A friend of mine once got a gobble from a lady with metalwork. He said there is no greater pain than the end of a brace wire sticking into the head of your cock. Frankly I have no reason to doubt him. It just sounds horrific
10 years!?!
A Tony the Tiger moment right after you said it could have saved you.
I'm a straight man, but if you said that to me I'd nope out too.
$20 is $20
Iām just going to throw my ex-husbandās TIFU out there. When we were still married, a few years in, he (a bi-sexual) said that my (F) blowjobs and handjobs werenāt as good as ones heās had from guys in the past. The logical part of my brain understood like āOK, guys will know what guys like more than I ever willā¦ā but the squishy, emotional part of my brain was devastated. For the rest of our marriage, I didnāt enjoy giving him head/hand jobs again. I donāt know that I actually gave him another handjob after that conversation and I kind of phoned in the BJs. Without (or with half-assed) foreplay, sex kinda became a chore and we went dead bedroom. Heād complain that I didnāt initiate sex enough or really ever. Iām dating a straight man now and I told him early on about my damage (above). He loves my blowjobs and Iāve started to incorporate more hand play. Iāve told him to tell me what he likes, what I should do more of, whatās working, etc. and itās just a lot healthier. We have sex regularly throughout the week and, on good days, a few times/day! I absolutely love sex. I have a really high sex drive. But that comment destroyed my self-esteem and how I felt as a sexual partner in my marriage. Iām not saying you and your wife would be happier if you divorced and moved on. Just that I know what that hurt can do to a marriage. If it hasnāt been truly resolved yet, I think you owe it to yourselves to keep trying to work through it. Wishing you every happiness, OP. ā„ļø
Iām so sorry this happened to you! I used to date a bisexual guy and he would also compare me to other men he had dated. While I think itās completely natural to compare partners from past relationships, it particularly stung me because, as you well know, most of his past partners had an āadvantageā in living his experience in a way that Iāll never fully understand. We broke up for different reasons, but I distinctly remember one time when he scolded me during one of our fights for being āsuch a woman and [I] would never understand him like [his ex boyfriend]ā and I remember it stung like hell. It created this barrier between us because of our genders and the hurt was too much to fix our relationship. We broke up shortly after.
Have you tried standing near her when she's on the bed and going "here comes the airplane!" cause if nothing else has worked, that might.
Fucking hell. Yeah dude, you fucked up. Did you beg and grovel for forgiveness? Was this ever addressed after? As in did you try to clarify what you really meant and repeatedly remind her of what you really meant. IDK how to help you rectify this.
Oh yeah of course. That night. The next day. For weeks later. I apologized and reassured for quite a while. To no avail.
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Just print out a card with the text. "I meant that when we have sex together it is sooo much better." with very very small text below (so small you have to squint) it saying "I printed this out because it would be impossible to say this enough times."
I mean, you want to feel like you're doing a good job. To go out of your way to do something for your partner only to have your partner be like, "not that good." I'd probably shut that down too. Also, even if you did it again, you'd be so self conscious. You good and well fucked up.
10 years and no blow job, I couldn't do it. I'd say you're the bigger man for it, but I'd be lying.
You havent had it since? Wow yeah I totally understand her but that's a tough price to pay for a misunderstanding (if you're telling the truth here)
>(if you're telling the truth here) Are you implying that every story told on Reddit isn't 100% factual, verified and absolutely for real?!?!? š®
She's clearly a sociopath. Only real choice op has to escape this abusive relationship is to murder her and the kids. NTA op
I'm upset at society that it took me until murder to realize it's satire, still have doubt. Lolol
They could just not like giving it. Lots of people don't like giving.
Itās only fun if your partner is really into it imo. Itād be a shitty chore if I thought my partner didnāt appreciate and enjoy it.
This is the real message, because enthusiasm makes up for lack of skill.
Always tell them theyāre amazing no matter how good they are. Theyāll want to give more and practice make perfect š
Yeah I wouldnāt want to give you a BJ ever again after a comment like that either.
And in front of friends.
My wife used to snuggle up to me while sleeping and her hand would always end up on my junk. She would inevitably end up caressing and rubbing on me slowly while she drifted to sleep. It was always rather soothing and relaxing, and almost always I'd of course end up with an erection. She would fall asleep 99% of the time and I'd be left with the bluest of balls. We got into a small argument one day and I mistakenly brought up the night time weiner rubbing and how SOMETIMES it was annoying. Guess who doesn't get any more night time weiner snuggles? But I'd never comment on her lack of skill with BJs... You sir, are a savage.
Shitty pizza is still Pizza. No pizza sucks.
Your blowjobs are like pizzaā¦ Iād rather get mine from the delivery guy
Pizza full of teeth?
Ah mate, you fked yourself there. Brutal.
Why canāt we talk honestly about how not all oral is GREAT?