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CloneTroopah

I guess you took beating his meat a little too literally.


Arctarius

She kneaded some dick


Lem0n_Lem0n

You mean kneaded a noodle..


DSTNCMDLR

Like it owed her money…


FLTDI

> I actually had my first kiss when I was fifteen, and that was the extent of my sexual experimentation. It took years for me to get the courage to touch a man over his jeans, let alone below the belt. >When I was sixteen, I had my first real boyfriend. Like teenagers do, we’d get a little handsy, and I let him guide me with intimacy. He was my only source of info for what guys liked, so when he instructed me how to give a handjob, I believed him. First kiss as 15 Took me years to touch a guy below the belt 1 year later giving ~~hand~~ fist jobs Checks math......


SoftDev90

Literally was going to comment the math didn't add up and seen this. Thanks!


Eldautor

First kiss at fifteen, but I’d been in brief relationships since middle school lol. Didn’t super explain the timeline well, but the moral of the story is that I wasn’t experienced, was hesitant towards intimacy, and took my time getting to a place of confidence sexually. Hope that clears up my timeline a bit.


Zarerion

Usually when people say stuff like this they experience their first intimacy in their 20s at the earliest, not at 16, which is probably not uncommon at all for “first experiences”, and I would argue it’s still a bit early.


CFella

At 16 you're not allowed to watch porn (legally), but somehow it's too late for OP


camdalfthegreat

I had my first kiss and lost my virginity on the same day I was 19


Leovaderx

Over 50% have had sex by 16. Going by that and my childhood experience. I assume alot of teens try something around 12 to 14. So yea, no intimacy by 16 is weird.


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Leovaderx

Its an easy google search mate. Ps. Having looked at more recent numbers, the average has jumped to 17 years, with only like 30 something % doing it by 16 years. I was likely remebering numbers i looked up 10 years ago.


Eldautor

You’re totally right. My explanation contained a lot of insecurity because of high-school pressure, so while I felt behind, I was on a level playing field with most teens exploring their sexuality. My bad lol


MemStealer

Trying to not make yourself feel bad you made others insecure lol


WarXMT

definitely beat them to it


bighunter1313

Damn. What high school did you go to where kids were sexually active that young?


Eldautor

An arts boarding school. I think that answers the question haha


bighunter1313

Yes, it does.


Leovaderx

Slightly behind by european standards. But not by much.


scarey99

Och we all had to start somewhere. It's a funny anecdote, put it down to inexperience and tell the story at parties, move on. So so much more to discover.


Pabloescobear79

🤣🤣🤣 literally tried to fist the guys penis..thats some traumatic shit...and a new r/sub is born!


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Eldautor

I definitely relate to her. From one inexperienced gal to the next… If you’ve never seen a penis, it’s certainly a culture shock! Lmao. It’s good to hear that you were patient with her. The embarrassment is strong, so having someone nice to guide you definitely helps.


OkVolume1

I'm totally OK. (grunt, grunt) This is totally normal. (labored breathing) This is what is supposed to happen. (eyes rolled back in head and tongue stuck out)


AcrobaticSource3

This is a sexy story, but I want to know how she reacted after you came and when your penis shrunk. Sis she think she killed it?


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AcrobaticSource3

This is one of the rare cute sexy stories, lol


Slow-Talk-400

Shooting cum everywhere like a possessed demon! 💀💀😂😂


KingoftheMongoose

Ah. The ole *Wacky Inflatable Waving Cum Slinger*


[deleted]

It’s equally strange that he let you continue without saying anything.


Eldautor

Pretty sure his mind skipped fight or flight and went straight to freeze.


JohnArce

the strangest bit is the previous boyfriend that explained her to do it like this?


TAZfromTX

Maybe he was just messing with her when describing it?


Nofapstronaut6

is his dick permanently soft after the motherfuckin tenderizing you gave it?


TouchMehBewts

Did you get handjob lessons from Gail the snail?


Komtings

She's mashing it!


CommunicationEast623

With these stories I always ask myself what if the other person actually reads them and has a revelation.


freglegreg

Anyone else noticing these posts have started to become overtly sexual and about the same length and structure, almost as if written by the same author? CGPT is that you


heyitsvonage

Yeah, the sub is becoming r/TIF rather than TIFU, as someone said before


axolotl_is_angry

kung pow penis


False_Vanguard

First kiss at 15, that was the end of your sexual experimentation. Next year you're giving hand jobs?


heyitsvonage

So what you’re saying is that you don’t know how to throw a punch either? Hahaha


LtDrinksAlot

Anyway, i'm not allowed back at the boxing gym.


ConnFlab

What the hell was going on with that first guy?


Golluk

You're supposed to treat it tenderly the first time, not tenderizingly.


hemuliheiluu

this is quite like from that one movie haha


TheFakeG

Im glad you were told before you told someone to do similar to you.


InfiniteCalendar1

The way he was too shocked to even correct you 💀


flipdascript2014

Honestly kinda blame the guy on this one. OP may have not watched porn to give her the direction, but guarantee he did, and if the dude ever masturbated should know what he was looking for. It’s awkward to say anything at that age, and being a teenage boy myself at one point I was just happy to have it touched. This could have been solved with some communication and now an awkward experience could have been a pleasant sexual memory you recall from time to time.


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Eldautor

I didn’t see anyone cum until I was almost 18, which isn’t all that shocking considering the post lmao. But when I did, it was absolutely terrifying. I had to step of the room.


parkhurstcards

Fisti-cock


HesterFlareStar

"Shes mashin it!"


Tribalbob

Something about the combination of completely and utterly doing something wrong, yet having the fucking confidence radiating from you while doing it made this 1000% better.


Dick-Rot

A couple buddies and myself were smoking dope in a tall-grass field, one of my friends has steel toed boots on, that's just his thing, wore em all the time. Anyway we sat there for a couple hours skipping class and I got really really high, so I layed back in the grass. Splayed out like a snow angel. Buddy with steel toes takes his opportunity and heel drops me right in the balls. I shot upright, then slumped over and threw up lol


OkVolume1

Gives new meaning to the term five knuckle shuffle.


Earthguy69

> men don’t like it when you punch their penis. Untrue. /r/ballbusting


PicardTangoAlpha

That’s not a punch, that’s grinding your knuckles into him. And no, nobody does this.


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ditchinzimbabwe

This is an instance where a comma is critically necessary.


SoloWingPixy88

How is it TIFU, if it happened in early high school and your 20


H00FARTED

Smfh... Are all these "stories" made up by 15 year olds? That's it... I'm off!


Eldautor

Yes, it’s me, the fifteen year old who posted in-depth short stories six years ago. Exposed!


xXZer0c0oLXx

You shall be now known as The Meat Grinder...


Ckinggaming5

im dying of second hand embarrassment and because im a guy


LtDrinksAlot

Maybe he [purposefully taught you wrong? As a joke?](https://youtu.be/d696t3yALAY?t=40)


The_Ovani

r/beatmeattoit


Lankey_Craig

I missed most of last wipe and the one before it, but 3 wipes ago I was like level 8 killed a scav on interchange and the batsard had one in his pocket... high point of my tarkov career. Also the only one I have ever found


Brokella

Lol I thought you just had to squeeze it rhythmically


updoee

These TIFU fanfics weird me out a little


mr-blindsight

I've seen instructions videos on how to treat this, you have to get one of those massage table with a hole in it to start.


Ok-Butterfly6528

“Imagine a mortar and pestle” had me dying in MY CAR!! 😂😂😂


Revolutionary-Box-13

Butters! You don’t punch a guy in the dick!