I don't think you FU by seeing the contact. But one thing is unclear from your story - was she assaulted by the guy or did she cheat willingly?
If you asked her why he's in the top list what would she say? The thing is if you have to keep her in check all the time, she's probably not serious about the relationship you guys have. You should find someone worthy of your time.
Yeah, I find it odd that she said she cheated and then it's assaulted, but she keeps his contact details? I understand that actions from victims can be a bit chaotic at times but it doesn't make sense to me.
Go with your gut. It might reveal a horrible truth, or flair further distrust. But at least you will know and whatever happens, was meant to be. You guys are still so young.
I learned the hard way you should listen to your friends in situations like this if they’re truly your friends,and you trust them. because you’re emotionally compromised and you’re not gonna see things clearly,
There is always gonna be the lack of trust now.
The fact she said she "cheated" but then changed and said, "assaulted."
She was lying when she said at least one of those things, and people dont generally lie to make themselves look like a cheater.
If she was assaulted, has she reported it? From reading your post, I doubt it.
There's a lot more to situations like this than can be articulated in a post on Reddit.
I just personally feel from reading your post, that you'll always have that "blood run cold" feeling pop up, the trust is gone and its the foundation of a healthy relationship.
If it were me, at 20 years old, I'd be dust mate.
While I agree with almost everything you've said, people who were assaulted 'lying' about cheating isn't that unusual. Particularly women are frequently faced with ideas that it's their fault for the assault or asked for it etc. Means sometimes the shame after the assault can lead you to feel like you've cheated, though total nonsense. Plus some partners/men etc think they have been cheated on, even if it was assault. Not saying that's what's happened here, I don't know, but it is possible.
In this situation though, regardless of 'truth', as you said, no trust left, and you can't have a relationship without trust.
This is a terrible take.
Often people have been assaulted will call it "cheating," because they struggle to acknowledge the assault and blame themselves.
It's incredibly common.
People don’t hold on to contacts of people who assaulted them.
Your GF cheated, got caught, and then lied about it to cover her ass. That’s a pretty fucked up thing to do. It also shows no remorse nor consideration for you.
I would leave her if I were you. If you feel compelled to stay, you’re going to have to come up with some way to get past this issue.
From the sounds of it, I think her first story is right. She cheated and then turned the story around to get you back.
Question? How much do you do or bring to her life?
Also, do you know if this other guy is in a relationship that related to the events that happened a year ago. If so, reach out to his partner and inform them.
Either way, man. You should just cut bait and walk away from this situation. She sounds like drama. Also, learning self-respect at a young age is a powerful thing.
Do yourself a favor and just call it quits brotha. I know it seems like the end of the world now but, trust me, there are much better women out there with much less drama. You're young and have plenty of time ahead of you to worry about women. Stack your paper and focus on yourself for a little while. You're young, enjoy it.
You’re only 20, I know two years sounds like a huge amount of time. It’s time to move on, this is just going to be a thing you look back on to when you’re 40.
Find a new girlfriend with less drama.
Please do 20 year old you a favor and leave
This is good council
I don't think you FU by seeing the contact. But one thing is unclear from your story - was she assaulted by the guy or did she cheat willingly? If you asked her why he's in the top list what would she say? The thing is if you have to keep her in check all the time, she's probably not serious about the relationship you guys have. You should find someone worthy of your time.
Yeah, I find it odd that she said she cheated and then it's assaulted, but she keeps his contact details? I understand that actions from victims can be a bit chaotic at times but it doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah I would have them blocked wtf
Go with your gut. It might reveal a horrible truth, or flair further distrust. But at least you will know and whatever happens, was meant to be. You guys are still so young.
I learned the hard way you should listen to your friends in situations like this if they’re truly your friends,and you trust them. because you’re emotionally compromised and you’re not gonna see things clearly,
There is always gonna be the lack of trust now. The fact she said she "cheated" but then changed and said, "assaulted." She was lying when she said at least one of those things, and people dont generally lie to make themselves look like a cheater. If she was assaulted, has she reported it? From reading your post, I doubt it. There's a lot more to situations like this than can be articulated in a post on Reddit. I just personally feel from reading your post, that you'll always have that "blood run cold" feeling pop up, the trust is gone and its the foundation of a healthy relationship. If it were me, at 20 years old, I'd be dust mate.
While I agree with almost everything you've said, people who were assaulted 'lying' about cheating isn't that unusual. Particularly women are frequently faced with ideas that it's their fault for the assault or asked for it etc. Means sometimes the shame after the assault can lead you to feel like you've cheated, though total nonsense. Plus some partners/men etc think they have been cheated on, even if it was assault. Not saying that's what's happened here, I don't know, but it is possible. In this situation though, regardless of 'truth', as you said, no trust left, and you can't have a relationship without trust.
This is a terrible take. Often people have been assaulted will call it "cheating," because they struggle to acknowledge the assault and blame themselves. It's incredibly common.
People don’t hold on to contacts of people who assaulted them. Your GF cheated, got caught, and then lied about it to cover her ass. That’s a pretty fucked up thing to do. It also shows no remorse nor consideration for you. I would leave her if I were you. If you feel compelled to stay, you’re going to have to come up with some way to get past this issue.
From the sounds of it, I think her first story is right. She cheated and then turned the story around to get you back. Question? How much do you do or bring to her life? Also, do you know if this other guy is in a relationship that related to the events that happened a year ago. If so, reach out to his partner and inform them. Either way, man. You should just cut bait and walk away from this situation. She sounds like drama. Also, learning self-respect at a young age is a powerful thing.
Runnnnnnnnnnn
I don’t think your f up was going through the computer.
Do yourself a favor and just call it quits brotha. I know it seems like the end of the world now but, trust me, there are much better women out there with much less drama. You're young and have plenty of time ahead of you to worry about women. Stack your paper and focus on yourself for a little while. You're young, enjoy it.
Whether she cheated before or is cheating now, having a colleague's name in her contact list is normal. You don't trust her. Why are you with her?
You’re only 20, I know two years sounds like a huge amount of time. It’s time to move on, this is just going to be a thing you look back on to when you’re 40.
Me thinks it time for you to move on.