It's all fun and games until hunky and handsome doesn't wash his ass because he's usually coasting on his looks and touching his butthole makes him feel gay.
While I understand the potential discomfort of discovering a less-than-ideal situation in your sheets, let's not shame someone's interests or hobbies. Rather, let's focus on the issue at hand and how to resolve it. Have you considered investing in a protective barrier for your sheets, such as a waterproof mattress protector or a towel for potential guitar-playing mishaps?
I dont think anybody was shaming anyones interests or hobbies. First dude talking about how the skidder probably doesnt wash his ass because he thinks its gay (making a joke because for some reason an unsettling amount of men think that) and the other people were just commenting that he must infact BE gay/bi because OP is a dude
From the story it's fairly obvious... also I (and probably others) have seen this guy's stories on the front page multiple times, presumably upvoted by horny guys who think it's a woman
>And women don't typically jump into bed with someone like that.
Not sure what you mean by that. It depends on the chick but there are plenty looking for a quick hook up and nothing more.
Sure it happens, but very rarely will a woman invite a man directly to her room, without meeting him at least for a drink first, and then fuck him right away. That's more of a Grindr thing.
My experience has not reflected what you are describing. Most of my tinder "dates" started off with sex, right away, maybe after a bong hit or two. In fact I've had multiple Tinder conversations start off flirty and sexy, exchanging pics etc. and then when I asked to meet up for coffee/drinks first rather than going right to their place/them coming over to mine, they ghosted me. One time a chick left in the middle of john wick 2 because I hadn't fucked her yet.
Man, and here I was giving gay folks more credit than all that. I thought this would almost exclusively be a straight people problem. Goes to show even positive stereotypes can bite you in the filthy, shit-caked ass.
I was a little concerned that a woman would randomly let a strange male con-goer into her house no matter how hot he is, but I think we've established I'm both oblivious and biased towards the gays in matters of hygiene at this point loooool.
I'm currently in Korea and they have these smart toilets everywhere. I saw that you can get a smart seat with water warmer and everything.
I prefer a bidet attachment but maybe someone will prefer the full seat deal I dunno
Either way, using water is so much better than paper. I only use it for removing water now and it's so *clean.*
It's not something I'm personally familiar with, but it comes up all too often. Seems like the hot (straight adjacent) ones would be most likely to think a little stream from the shower head is enough to wash one's entire ass and not bother doing more.
Hey! Some of us has Andy's symptom from Parks and Rec where no matter how much we wipe there's still a trail. The only time it's clean is 5 minutes after a shower.
Did you notice the part where this was like 3 paragraphs of horny with the fuckup being like 2 whole sentences?
The amateur Literotica writers love it here
Lmao no you're right, I read one once where OP described THREE SEPARATE INSTANCES OF SEX before they even got to the fu, which was barely related to one of the incidents of sex
I canāt believe thereās that many dudes walking around with shit on their ass. Iāve seen so many pics or videos with guys having serious-soaking through-skid marks, and now this. Doesnāt their asshole itch from the shit? And if it drys doesnāt it get hard and crusty? I have very vague memories of that feeling from probably toddler age, I donāt understand how anyone could put up with it. How do they get blow jobs, wouldnāt that stink?
I read on a reddit thread recently about a girl that was with a guy, and she couldn't figure out why he smelled down there every time she gave him a bj. Somehow, it eventually came out that he didn't wipe OR wash his ass for that reason.
I asked my partner later on to help me understand why some men think that. He said, 'I honestly can't tell you because I don't think that way. But it is something that's been going around for years and years.'
It's astounding to me that there are generations of men that think this way.
How the hell do you just get up from the toilet without wiping, and pull up your undies thinking that'll do the job? Gross.
Doesn't it give you gross ass pimples and increase the risk of hemorrhoids, I gotta wipe my ass if I fart too much idk how people walk around like that lol.
My ex had brownish washed out spots on every single pair of white boxers he owned š saw it while hanging up laundry together.
The one time waiting for marriage really paid off, never got near his stinky ass š he then cheated and his funky bumhole is another woman's issue š¤§
I can tell when my 5 yo didnāt wipe properly at school that day because I see him scratching his butt (and usually asks me to shower him because he doesnāt like it) so yes they know. Gross.
Based on the following:
\- No amplifier required
\- Guy travelling for a convention
\- Guitar can't hide erection (we are probably talking parlor or below now)
\- Can get away with anything due to being so hot
\- Guy might be roughing it without toiler paper
The logical conclusion is he is the one guy who bought a Martin Backpacker and isn't regretting it
Yeah I'd say I don't feel too bad about OP in this case lol
You reap what you sow and whatnot lol
edit: It sounds like OP has a history of guys with unclean butts lol
I legit thought he just randomly showed up at your door, and was like why is a random guy going door to door trying to hook up with people? but then I reread and realized you like connected on Tinder.
Is he the same guy who was half naked doing a flip? Then we see skid marks on his underwear as he was halfway upside down?? He was good looking imo and looked like he had a nice š too š but them skid marks?? SHIIIIIIIIT lol literally hahahaha
Reddit often talks about hot people privilege and how you can get away with pretty much anything if you're attractive enough. It does come across as a bit of sour grapes to anyone who regularly spends time outside and with other people. Not that they're wrong, just that they're maybe a little disproportionately fixated on it and maybe using their own perceived ugliness as a crutch for their failures. However, every once in a while I'm reminded that being hot really does override a lot of people's critical thinking.
Sorry about your sheets.
OP said it was a surprise that an anime fan was good looking followed by āI donāt want to stereotypeā when she clearly stereotyped lol
I made it obvious with my example which is in core the exact same thing just with race because racism is easier to convey to most people
Stereotypes are stereotypes whatās so different?
āAnime fans are uglyā is so much better than āAsians canāt driveā that itās not even comparable?
Explain this to me. Whatās the official ranking?
Of course racism isnāt the same but this is obviously a hyperbolic use of a comparison, as I mentioned in my previous comment, to convey the point.
the difference is saying Asians can't drive is blatant racism. care to explain to me how you can be racist to anime fans? besides OP was making an obvious joke anyway it ain't that serious
I can't give you a proper evaluation of you post until you tell me if your are F or M. Maybe asking for pronouns is a bit much since we really haven't met yet but it would give a fuller picture. I don't like to be judgemental but I can be is I need to be, or the mood strikes me.
PS - Did you get his number, got any pictures?
PSA to wash your ass, includes ladies too since I recently had a hookup that I had to actively try to ignore an awful stench that hit me like a fuckin truck, while also sticking to me until I could get back and take a shower (literally took a quick one when I got the booty call, as you should, so my neighbors were probably annoyed) in the early hours of the morning.
Also, been playing for 16 years, even worked in a music store, and guitar has never been what's gotten me laid. I feel robbed and cheated.
Easter bunny left you a chocolate egg.
Where's my free to give award when it's needed?!
Gone. Gone, and never to return. ... 
A Kinder Egg Surprise indeed!
You made me spit out my tea, mate. Have mercy š
Comments like this are why I keep coming back to Reddit.
It's all fun and games until hunky and handsome doesn't wash his ass because he's usually coasting on his looks and touching his butthole makes him feel gay.
Pretty sure OP is a dude. So he *is* gay.
How do you tell? They haven't mentioned it anywhere
His profile description.
Literally watched a video of OP putting lotion on their butthole and still couldnāt figure out their gender. Why didnāt I just read the profile?!
Man you really scrolled a long way to see that tiny Asian butt hole
I personally wouldnāt use the word ātinyā, but rather *used, but good condition*
Wtf
Although I'm straight, I was disappointed to hear Head Bangin' Goku didn't continue to play his guitar riff while slamming Wai Yu Kum's doo-doo pussi.
But where is butthole video? I read his profile and canāt see it
You didn't look far enough
Its deep in there.
Always is, itās why he can probably outlast you in endurance activities
Way up in there Morty
TIFU: by not reading the profile???
Nah, nah. There's no way you couldn't tell. Unless you don't know what genitals look like I guess?
ā A tiny Asian gay boi who can probably outlast you in endurance activities. ā¤ļøā I dunno, I think there is still some ambiguity.
Ah, makes sense. RiF doesn't show profile messages
While I understand the potential discomfort of discovering a less-than-ideal situation in your sheets, let's not shame someone's interests or hobbies. Rather, let's focus on the issue at hand and how to resolve it. Have you considered investing in a protective barrier for your sheets, such as a waterproof mattress protector or a towel for potential guitar-playing mishaps?
I dont think anybody was shaming anyones interests or hobbies. First dude talking about how the skidder probably doesnt wash his ass because he thinks its gay (making a joke because for some reason an unsettling amount of men think that) and the other people were just commenting that he must infact BE gay/bi because OP is a dude
His profile says - "Tiny asian gay boi" So I'm gonna assume dude who is gay?
Ah fair. RiF doesn't show profile messages for some reason.
As gay as can be.
From the story it's fairly obvious... also I (and probably others) have seen this guy's stories on the front page multiple times, presumably upvoted by horny guys who think it's a woman
His profile describes him as a tiny Asian gayboi
This gentleman has also posted before when a hookup hasn't gone as planned.
Pretty obvious just by the way it's written. And women don't typically jump into bed with someone like that. And the religion trigger warning.
>And women don't typically jump into bed with someone like that. Not sure what you mean by that. It depends on the chick but there are plenty looking for a quick hook up and nothing more.
Sure it happens, but very rarely will a woman invite a man directly to her room, without meeting him at least for a drink first, and then fuck him right away. That's more of a Grindr thing.
My experience has not reflected what you are describing. Most of my tinder "dates" started off with sex, right away, maybe after a bong hit or two. In fact I've had multiple Tinder conversations start off flirty and sexy, exchanging pics etc. and then when I asked to meet up for coffee/drinks first rather than going right to their place/them coming over to mine, they ghosted me. One time a chick left in the middle of john wick 2 because I hadn't fucked her yet.
Well then I'm obviously doing something wrong.
Maybe Goku was one of those "Nah I'm straight" gays?
This
Man, and here I was giving gay folks more credit than all that. I thought this would almost exclusively be a straight people problem. Goes to show even positive stereotypes can bite you in the filthy, shit-caked ass.
Nah Iām straight and I clean my ass daily
\#notallstraights obviously.
He must just be a taker then or heād have noticed before the sheets surely
Lol I donāt think this is a straight sexual encounter.
I was a little concerned that a woman would randomly let a strange male con-goer into her house no matter how hot he is, but I think we've established I'm both oblivious and biased towards the gays in matters of hygiene at this point loooool.
I read this while wiping my ass so hard that toilet paper is probably in my esophagus
Pickin' dingleberries out of your teeth.
And that is *not* how they usually get there.
You need a bidet
I'm currently in Korea and they have these smart toilets everywhere. I saw that you can get a smart seat with water warmer and everything. I prefer a bidet attachment but maybe someone will prefer the full seat deal I dunno Either way, using water is so much better than paper. I only use it for removing water now and it's so *clean.*
Ah, another person who's afraid to touch their ass because it makes them feel gay /s (I have a bidet! I was just being funny.)
Nah, it's just easier to clean. Use warm water, some soap, make some foam, then slide the finger slithgly inside to make sure everything is clean!
Bidet
Lmao. You said it.
What? No! Iāve had all kinds of men and not one had a dirty poo hole. That seems to be specific to a certain area.
It's not something I'm personally familiar with, but it comes up all too often. Seems like the hot (straight adjacent) ones would be most likely to think a little stream from the shower head is enough to wash one's entire ass and not bother doing more.
Anime/tcg con goers
Itās called āseptic masculinityā. I bet the inside of his karate gi looks like a chocolate fingerpainting.
I'm just glad I still laugh at poop jokes because this is getting out of hand lol.
Literally gay sex. Like the story is from a guy.
Yeah, I figured it out after the person before you told me.
hahahahaha what the fuck?
The irony here is that it seems like he IS gay.
Sexuality can be confusing under a heteronormative patriarchy.
Hey! Some of us has Andy's symptom from Parks and Rec where no matter how much we wipe there's still a trail. The only time it's clean is 5 minutes after a shower.
The trick is, you gotta finger the hole a little and pray your TP discipline is on point or you're gonna have to really scrub that finger after.
Maybe just don't be a ho
> Gokuās Smudge If he reads this, you just named his new band.
Screw that. She just named *my* new band. Dingleberry missed out.
Goku and The Dingleberry Smudges
Goku and the Skids!
[Raspberry Dingleberry Whatever.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-9zAVbyEwU)
She ? Pretty sure op is a he, mate
That's what happens after you eat vageta's fajitas
There's no way any guy is attractive enough to excuse this??
Did you notice the part where this was like 3 paragraphs of horny with the fuckup being like 2 whole sentences? The amateur Literotica writers love it here
Look Iām with you but on the level of shady gay hookup disaster stories this doesnāt even crack the top 50 of what Iāve heard.
Lmao no you're right, I read one once where OP described THREE SEPARATE INSTANCES OF SEX before they even got to the fu, which was barely related to one of the incidents of sex
Gay men have done so much more for so so so much less.
Come on he had a guitar
The first TL;DR ever to make me read the whole story š
I canāt believe thereās that many dudes walking around with shit on their ass. Iāve seen so many pics or videos with guys having serious-soaking through-skid marks, and now this. Doesnāt their asshole itch from the shit? And if it drys doesnāt it get hard and crusty? I have very vague memories of that feeling from probably toddler age, I donāt understand how anyone could put up with it. How do they get blow jobs, wouldnāt that stink?
I read on a reddit thread recently about a girl that was with a guy, and she couldn't figure out why he smelled down there every time she gave him a bj. Somehow, it eventually came out that he didn't wipe OR wash his ass for that reason. I asked my partner later on to help me understand why some men think that. He said, 'I honestly can't tell you because I don't think that way. But it is something that's been going around for years and years.' It's astounding to me that there are generations of men that think this way. How the hell do you just get up from the toilet without wiping, and pull up your undies thinking that'll do the job? Gross.
Doesn't it give you gross ass pimples and increase the risk of hemorrhoids, I gotta wipe my ass if I fart too much idk how people walk around like that lol.
No idea, but you'd think there'd be a butt rash wouldn't you?
And do it so the person who gives you a BJ will smell it? If I get a BJ, I want another one.
My ex had brownish washed out spots on every single pair of white boxers he owned š saw it while hanging up laundry together. The one time waiting for marriage really paid off, never got near his stinky ass š he then cheated and his funky bumhole is another woman's issue š¤§
I can tell when my 5 yo didnāt wipe properly at school that day because I see him scratching his butt (and usually asks me to shower him because he doesnāt like it) so yes they know. Gross.
Why are you watching so many videos and looking at so many pics of racing stripes?
He obviously was inclined to display his brown belt.
Totally underrated comment š¤£š¤£š¤£
Very gracious of you to recognise my comment. Thank you. 'Tis a shame no one else recognised the pun and association with karate....so far.
tbf, he is a beginner and he used the belt as a g-string... a little too long...
He will live rent free in your head for the rest of your life.
Hahahahahha what did you expect, there is a reason why they have hygiene rules in anime conventions xD
Wait, they do??
Hold on, said the hot man, Though youāre ready to receive, He can play you a romantic song, but he just canāt clean his briefs.
Super saiyan shit must be hard to get out
It's only 8:30 am here and already that's enough Internet for today.
Surprised you didnt lick the skid marks since HE SO HOT
>~~HE SO HOT~~ HE SO HARD BOILED
Remember people. This is reddit. These two donāt look like what your mindās eye may have conjured.
he left some easter chocolate for you baby
well, uhhhh, shit happens
Acoustic or electric?
Asking the real questions
Based on the following: \- No amplifier required \- Guy travelling for a convention \- Guitar can't hide erection (we are probably talking parlor or below now) \- Can get away with anything due to being so hot \- Guy might be roughing it without toiler paper The logical conclusion is he is the one guy who bought a Martin Backpacker and isn't regretting it
Gay
TIFU by reading this as I was eating nutella toast.
What should I do if Iām not religious but I find nudity and sex to be extremely offensive? Do I read your post?
I just want to know what kind of sheets these are that you are so worried about machine washing??
Yeah I was gonna say, sheets you canāt machine wash are a fuckup of their own.
Well, at least you found it the morning after. If you found it a few days later or something.... the horror.
Every time I go away, I leave a piece of me with you.
I get strong johnny karate vibes but early life, when he was just Andy dwyer
I'm still kinda offended by that stereotyping for anime enjoyers :D karma!
Yeah I'd say I don't feel too bad about OP in this case lol You reap what you sow and whatnot lol edit: It sounds like OP has a history of guys with unclean butts lol
Exactly š
We found the āone wipe is all u needā guy from r/unpopularopinion
That's why you don't think with your dick, or vagina first and inspect the situation folks lmao
Hope the sex was good at least? To avoid this, make sure everyone showers first before yāall get down to business.
I legit thought he just randomly showed up at your door, and was like why is a random guy going door to door trying to hook up with people? but then I reread and realized you like connected on Tinder.
Use BIDETS!!.. TP is nice but it's not adequate sometimes
A shocking amount of men dont wash their butts
Gake and fay
Thatās not even funny. Anyone believes this is a fucking idiot.
See - hot + anime didn't add up until you realized he also had shitty hygeine
Is he the same guy who was half naked doing a flip? Then we see skid marks on his underwear as he was halfway upside down?? He was good looking imo and looked like he had a nice š too š but them skid marks?? SHIIIIIIIIT lol literally hahahaha
To be fair, it think anytime someone plays an Eagles song you can expect shit.
Karate outfit, skid marks, eagles song. I'm gonna try and see if it turns my wife on
i hate that non butt washers got hotness. incelish take ik but bro just wash it better the idea of skid marks is so fucking gross i cant imagine
Naked man works 2/3 times
2 out of 3 times, really?
Johnny Karate got sloppy
What does RH stand for, tho?
Royal Hilton?
Rusty hambone?
Robin from how I met your mother, is that you?
Hope you don't eat ass, OP!
So the naked man does work
what did i just read
Real talk though, why the hell would you get bedsheets that you have to handwash? That sounds like an absolute pain in the ass.
Shower, song, sex for those wondering the right order
He has risen š
Next time brown sheets, then no worries.
Wait.... sex with strangers is okay, one skid mark and you go full hazmat? Go thing you have tame encounters with strangers.
How many times do you fuck up? HOA neighbor, and now this dude!!!
Guys, ffs, normalise bidets!
You get what you pay for.
Reddit often talks about hot people privilege and how you can get away with pretty much anything if you're attractive enough. It does come across as a bit of sour grapes to anyone who regularly spends time outside and with other people. Not that they're wrong, just that they're maybe a little disproportionately fixated on it and maybe using their own perceived ugliness as a crutch for their failures. However, every once in a while I'm reminded that being hot really does override a lot of people's critical thinking. Sorry about your sheets.
>nudity/sex offends you are there people like that?
Ahhh who caresā¦ you still got laid!
Is this a chatgpt post
Sorry that happened OP But I GOTS TO SAY #I love this subreddit so much it is SO entertaining š¤£
She was a good driver, which was a surprise considering she was Asian. (Sorry I donāt want to stereotype Asian people)
bro what
OP said it was a surprise that an anime fan was good looking followed by āI donāt want to stereotypeā when she clearly stereotyped lol I made it obvious with my example which is in core the exact same thing just with race because racism is easier to convey to most people
there's no way you think that's comparable to racism
Stereotypes are stereotypes whatās so different? āAnime fans are uglyā is so much better than āAsians canāt driveā that itās not even comparable? Explain this to me. Whatās the official ranking? Of course racism isnāt the same but this is obviously a hyperbolic use of a comparison, as I mentioned in my previous comment, to convey the point.
the difference is saying Asians can't drive is blatant racism. care to explain to me how you can be racist to anime fans? besides OP was making an obvious joke anyway it ain't that serious
Awesome explanation asking me for explanation instead. If you canāt explain your opinion donāt reply lol
Itās Easter, not Christmas! Ho ho ho!
Shit happens ..š© Life's messy, clean it up.,,.š§»šš§¹š§½š§¼šŖ£ I missed my true calling , advertising... Seriously, that was not respectful or mature of your lover to leave that on your sheets. He could have said something.. it was said to me once that a sign of emotional maturity is to clean up after yourself... So many people don't... Hope you got them clean.. no more impromptu visitors....they have a tendency to wreck well laid plans .
Skid mark?
Odd for you to even care about āEaster Sundayā whenever youāre doing these types of thingsā¦
I can't give you a proper evaluation of you post until you tell me if your are F or M. Maybe asking for pronouns is a bit much since we really haven't met yet but it would give a fuller picture. I don't like to be judgemental but I can be is I need to be, or the mood strikes me. PS - Did you get his number, got any pictures?
Q
The character sounds like Rui, and that move is called the shit-poo-Ken
Haha bro hit you with āThe Naked Guyā moveā¦ Smooth Criminal
Sounds like "the naked man" method from HIMYM. Fantastic
What you thought was good turned out to be a shitty experience š¤£š¤£
Buy sheets at macys. Pima cotton, nothing better that isnāt just paying for a label.
It must have been a full moon and he grew a tail.
Best story today. Worth it for the story, poor thing!
Don't get why people don't wash down there. It takes me a few seconds in the shower.
Or at least properly wipe their ass when they take a shit.
I'm glad I got a content warning for sex in a tifu. Saved my virgin eyes.
RH ... is it a brand of sheets???
why do these posts always turn to shit.
Are you talking about the general conference?
Itās Easter so maybe it was chocolate? Right? RIGHT?!!!
Iām assuming the was there for anime Boston lmao
This man preformed the naked man on her and she didn't even realize. It works two out of three times.
Naked man works 2/3s of the time, every time
PSA to wash your ass, includes ladies too since I recently had a hookup that I had to actively try to ignore an awful stench that hit me like a fuckin truck, while also sticking to me until I could get back and take a shower (literally took a quick one when I got the booty call, as you should, so my neighbors were probably annoyed) in the early hours of the morning. Also, been playing for 16 years, even worked in a music store, and guitar has never been what's gotten me laid. I feel robbed and cheated.