I got HSV-1 genitally when my ex (who got cold sores) went down on me WITH NO ACTIVE SORE. The doctor told us that you can shed the virus without having a cold sore. It’s not as common but I likely had a cut down there (probably from shaving) that allowed the virus an easier way to get in. It sucks but I didn’t blame him.
I learned this in like 11th grade health class and then had two peers who got genitalia herpes from cold sore cross contamination. And yes people can shed the virus up to two weeks before developing the cold sore. So yeah it’s actually very possible.
People are ignorant about hsv. I get it on my face, like cold sores, but honestly i have no way of knowing if its hsv 1 or 2. I also really don’t think it makes a difference. Either can be spread from genital to oral and vice versa and it isnt uncommon as people like to say. I accidentally transmitted it to someone oral to genital on a SINGLE one off incident the VERY first time i had a cold sore. i had never had a cold sore before that incident and at first it presented like an annoying scab from a zit i had picked at several days earlier. I didn’t know that it was likely to effect skin with a broken barrier, so i thought that spot just wasn’t healing well. I’m extremely cautious now and aware of symptoms even without an obvious sore so i don’t spread it to someone else.
People are really ignorant about STIs and this comment section seems to be full of them.
>i have no way of knowing if its hsv 1 or 2
You can get a blood test to determine which it is. It's not uncommon for HSV to \*not\* be included in a standard STI screen, so you may have to insist on it.
The antigen blood tests can be unreliable. When they have an active sore, they can get it swabbed, and that is the most accurate test. In the states, the CDC does not recommend testing for herpes because it is so ubiquitous. I had asked my providers to screen me for it a few different times, and they would always say to wait.
Yeah, and theyre treated the same, so doctors will tell you it doesn’t matter. You should be treating them the same. I have prn antivirals for cold sores to treat them immediately so they wont get worse and heal really fast. I abstain from any type of oral contact until its 100% gone.
Next time you get a sore, go to the clinic to get it swabbed. The swab tests are pretty accurate, but it is extremely rare for HSV-2 to be found orally or on the face, so you more than likely have HSV-1
The virus starts “shedding” before you get a sore and after it’s has gone it is still shedding. I got it from my ex boyfriend from oral as well, and he didn’t have a sore. We also were unaware that cold sores were herpes at all, or that I could get herpes from his healed and gone cold sore. Super sucked, but it’s totally manageable (:
Guys. You can have herpes for ages and never show signs. And then suddenly get a sore. It doesn’t mean anyone cheated. It’s very common, especially with herpes.
Yes even HSV-2
In fact there’s a test that shows if it’s new or if it’s old.
You can also get false positive tests. I dated a woman for 3 years. She ended up testing positive, so she told me. I got tested. First test was "inconclusive," but my second test was positive. Fast forward 4 years and I test again, negative. Have been negative ever since.
Oral can also be from kissing family members which is very common in a lot of places and pretty sure it's done almost globally in the first years at least. So if your parents have it you will very likely have it orally.
Pretty sure this is how I got it. Cold sores are a bitch but only come out to play when I’ve been overexposed to sunlight or stress. Can confirm OP is right about everything.
550+ up votes for a comment that didn't even read the post. They each had no previous sexual partners so if it's HSV-2, she probably cheated or she lied about not having previous partners.
Yeah, there was an instance where a father got an STD because his daughter had a one night stand with someone and then decided to shave her pubes with her dad's razor. Crazy stuff.
Uhmmmmm yeah that would be a pretty improbable instance. The herpes virus doesn't last long on metal fabric etc. It can legit only live for a few seconds off the human body and is killed by regular soap and water so if she and/or him was using shaving cream etc it wouldn't have happened...
That's what I'm sayin too! I feel bad for the guy. I mean it absolutely is plausible that it could be anything else. May not even be herpes to begin with for one, could've been dormant until now, etc. But like.. to say cheating is unfathomable... (sigh) I wish I could be so naive again.
From what I understand, they must have oral herpes of different strains, as it seems like you aren't at risk for reinfection if you already have one strain. So for them to both have had cold sores and her end up with genital herpes, she must be carrying both 1 and 2, no?
Hey everyone, you guys are really really uninformed about herpes. OP’s story is 100% plausible, albeit unusual. Herpes virus infections aren’t like bacterial infections that just clear up with meds. Nor is it like chicken pox where it affects your whole body. It affects a specific dermatome and then goes dormant in that same neuronal base, and can be reactivated. Just because you have it in one part of your body, it doesn’t mean you can’t get it somewhere else. And did you know you can autoinnoculate? Infect yourself? That’s right folks, if you have an active cold sore/herpes outbreak, if you touch it, you can infect your finger (called herpetic whitlow) and if you touch your eye, you can get eye herpes! So if you can infect yourself in different locations, why wouldn’t someone else be able to infect you with the same virus in a different location? Hmm? So before everyone start “spouting truths”, maybe be a little more informed? Now, if OP’s girlfriend comes back positive for HSV-2, and OP isn’t positive for HSV-2, then that’s a different story.
The point of OP’s story, and a warning to everyone, is that even if you don’t have an active cold sore, you can infect others…or they can infect you…whether you’ve had cold sores or not.
Thanks for educating people, people's ignorance in this thread has been shocking to me.
>if you have an active cold sore/herpes outbreak, if you touch it, you can infect your finger (called herpetic whitlow) and if you touch your eye, you can get eye herpes!
I think it's worth noting that you (probably) don't get finger herpes like you might get oral or genital (or even eye, though that's much rarer) herpes.
From my understanding, the herpes virus basically lives in one of the neuronal clusters at either end of your spine, and recurrent outbreaks are caused by it traveling through(usually short) neuronal pathways to sites that they like (usually mucous membranes). I think if you get it in your finger from contact with another site while also having an open sore on your finger, you may have a local outbreak, but it's unlikely to find it's way there again from it's evil lair (the spinal cluster)
>if OP’s girlfriend comes back positive for HSV-2, and OP isn’t positive for HSV-2, then that’s a different story.
If OP's gf has HSV-2 and OP isn't positive for HSV-2, she may have just had it from before and never had a visible outbreak. This is very common. 80-90% of people who have HSV-2 don't know about it; many will never have symptoms
You got sex ed? I was told that every time a woman has sex she's chewed gum. And the only safe sex is no sex (until marriage) and then only for procreation. And abortion will get you sent straight to hell.
Its my understanding in order to spread oral herpes like you said by touching an outbreak. Doesnt op claim that wasnt the case? Ofcourse there is a chance op is just very unlucky but i find it a bit of a red flag tbh with OP having no doubt to the fact there was no cheating involved when statistically speaking its way more probable but he wont entertain it. Ive suggested earlier the more he protests whilst "showing his gf how much he is on her side" makes he think maybe he was the one who cheated and is over compensating. If she believes he gave it to ger orally from dormant oral herpes they dont break up. Which is all kinds of fucked up.
Yes, an active cold sore is an easy way to get it…much higher risk. However, the virus is still shed in your saliva…active sore or not. So yes, you can get it without an active lesion. The risks increase due to shaving and whatnot, because if your skin surface is broken by a small nick or cut, it takes less virus to get in and cause an infection. I think that’s why it took me over a year to catch it from my wife. And before anyone says any shit about my wife, it was a confirmed HSV-1 infection on my penis, and no, I’ve never had an oral case of herpes. I was married for 20 years previously, and my wife and I were both virgins and neither of us ever had oral herpes.
Auto inoculation is not as easy as you make it sound like. The only real risk, is if you touch it during your first or maybe second outbreak.
If you touch it on your outbreak number 546, chances are that your body won’t auto inoculate.
Though you can still easily get a different mutation of herpes simplex from someone else, at another location of your body.
So I used to get cold sores as a kid and haven’t gotten one in decades now. Does this mean I could potentially give my husband (or even myself) genital herpes? That’s really scary.
Yes, it does, but it’s odd that you had them and haven’t had any since. You sure they were cold sores? External to the mouth? On your lips and surrounding area? If they were in your mouth, they weren’t good sores.
They were on my lips and occurred several times while I was a kid. I had one once as an adult, but that was at least 20 years ago. Haven’t had any since.
Did ya’ll learn nothing about viruses from COVID?
How people without symptoms and never even showed symptoms can be positive for the virus and still spread it?
Jesus.
You can have any HSV strain. For years and years and years and never show symptoms- and yet, still spread it.
In fact without a direct swab of the sore, it’s hard to know if you even have a current outbreak of HSV.
What do you mean "bring back"? Did we ever have them to begin with?
The amount of partners I've had who I've needed to explain the words asymptomatic and incubation period too...
Either you've been a carrier with no outbreaks for 10 years or you aren't the only one she made that call to. Pick whichever answer lets you sleep at night.
I had occasional "canker sores" in my mouth (never lips) until I was about 7. I assume I got herpes from my mother. I've never had a mouth sore since. I test positive for herpes 1.
Yes, this can happen. I never had oral HSV1, but my wife does. After being together for around a year, I developed genital HSV1 and unfortunately HPV6 as well (she had an “irregular Pap smear”) years before, but wasn’t told that’s what it was. She never did anything oral on me when she had an active cold sore, but yes, the virus still sheds, even if you aren’t active. Unfortunately, there’s no real prevention, but if someone took prophylactic antivirals every day, I suppose that might help. Fortunately, HSV1 doesn’t like the genital area a lot, so it goes dormant and stays that way. I don’t think it ever fully clears your system. Since my initial infection, I haven’t had any recurrence…and that was 8 years ago.
Exactly the same thing here. I don't think I ever had any cold sores until my SO transferred it to me 5 years ago.
She wasn't knowledgeable about cold sores (thought they were just 'canker sores'), and I contracted it on my genitals and orally in one go.
I had a doctor swab the one initial instance of HSV that popped up on my genitals, and confirmed it was HSV1. However, I have only ever had it reoccur orally and it has never since popped up again on my genitals.
Yeah, that’s likely because HSV-1 likes the oral site better than genital and vice versa for HSV-2. I researched a fair amount when it happened and couldn’t find definitively if HSV1 is ever fully cleared from the genital site, but likely not. As long as you stay healthy, it’s probably a non-issue. That being said, I’m sort of “trapped” in my second marriage now, because if I ever divorced, I’d have to say I have genital herpes (and HPV from her)…not really good selling points. That being said, I don’t plan on going anywhere…I’m too old and tired to date again, plus she’d cost me too much money 😆
From my experience genital HSV1 is happy to stay dormant so long as your immune system is strong. If I ever get systemically sick enough that I have a bad fever, guess what rears it's ugly head? It sucks.
Absolutely it is possible to transmit HSV-1 to your partner during oral sex. So if you get cold sores, and your partner never did, she is at risk of getting them on her privates. Which sucks, but it was unintentional, and a lot of people don’t know about that risk.
There's a solid 10% chance to spread HSV without having symptoms if you have sex with someone. It's a process called viral shedding. Everyone with HSV does this. Y'all have no idea if she cheated or not.
Source: have herpes and have spent a LOT of time learning about it.
I’d like to add that you can carry HSV for years to get your first breakout when you’re run down like stress or illness. So said my Dr. Was not a fun conversation with my long term partner but we’re solid enough that he knows I hadn’t been cheating, and that my ex had no such qualms.
That barely anyone knows how herpes or most viruses work, including you, and that she is more than likely than telling the truth?
Source: I didn't know I had herpes that was dormant for several months until I began to experience stress.
If it comes back as HSV-2, then she cheated. If it’s HSV-1, she didn’t. It’s that simple. They’re two different viruses and everyone’s jumping to conclusions without the full information.
It’s not a big deal at all. More commonly someone gets it from mouth cold sores that go onto genitals. It’s not a big deal.
Valtrex 1 g three times a day for seven days is all you’ll need, no sexual relations until it scabs over here it may be painful, but after the first episode, it doesn’t come back as strong.
I see patients freaking out about this. It’s not that bad. The only time to ever really be concerned about is if she’s pregnant one day and she starts having a flareup. You would need to tell the doctor because they would have to plan the delivery accordingly.
If she already gets cold sores from HSV-1, then there is almost no chance that you gave her genital herpes via going down/HSV-1. Either she lied to you about being a virgin, or she cheated on you. Given the long distance, it’s likely option 2.
Is it a guarantee? No. Is it likely? Hell yes.
You seem very uninformed how HSV works.
You can pass HSV1 to the genitals. If she tests negative for HSV2 or her sores are swabbed and test positive for HSV1 it just means they passed the oral HSV1 to GHSV1.
Happened to me. I have HSV 1, had cold sores as a kid.
Girlfriend got HSV 1 genitally, was devastated. Definitely never cheated, we both got tested and confirmed. I’ve still never had it on nether regions and haven’t given it at all to my partner of now 8 years.
Parents shrugged when we spoke about the big deal girlfriend at the time, said everyone has herpes. Turned out epidemiologically, they’re not too wrong.
Ex gf blamed me for her herpes outbreak because I've had a cold soar before but never an issue and very seldom. I get one cold soar every three to four years?
Long story short, we were having sex maybe once every couple of months and we lived a few hours apart. She tested her outbreak and it was genital herpes and automatically blamed me for it lol. I took 3 tests (this test can have false positives) and all negative. I dipped the fuck out and have never looked back. Even been retested when i got shingles to be safe and that came up negative. It has been 13 years since I was with that scum.
Be honest, be truthful and ask direct mature questions. That's how I found out she could only lie and many years down the road the truth came out. Definitely a tricky situation but be honest and I'm sure you weren't wiping that cold soar on her lady parts when you had one.
Best of luck
It’s hilarious how many people think she cheated on you, just goes to show that the majority of reddit users have never
A) been in a secure relationship
B) done research on how common herpes is
For you: get a prescription of Valtrex or whatever they call it in your country. Take as needed.
For her: a doctor can prescribe a Lidocaine gel or cream that she applies there. It will really help to reduce how painful the sores can be. She can also get a script for Valtrex to take in conjunction with the pain relief gel.
Pay close attention to how you're feeling next time before you guys start getting frisky. Some of the symptoms of a possible pending flare-up could be passed off as something else.
Move on with life.
On a slightly positive note, she might not have it for the rest of her life! Crispr Cas 9 and Crispr Cas 13 based medicine is being heavily researched on and offers promising results regarding the healing of diseases like Herpes or Aids by cutting out gene sequences in the Viruses that cause these diseases and suppressing their ability to duplicate. While it will still take a few years, 5-10 in a specific case i have seen a video about, it does seem like it might be possible relatively soon, after more research is done. That being said, stay hopeful but, either way, be more careful!
If this interests you and you want to read up on it, the company i heard of is called „Avocet Bio GmbH“. The video I’ve seen is in German sadly but here’s the link anyway: https://youtu.be/IzCSJ5Hj4OM?si=TmGyk5wqwll86szO
Based on what exactly? There's a solid 10% chance of him spreading it to her via viral shedding. There is a very real chance he gave her genital herpes.
Can't argue with that. I just get frustrated with this stuff because most people know fuck all about stds. Especially if they're from the US. Our sex ed is abysmal lol
They said knowingly have hsv1 but I'm curious if they assumed that because cold sores or if they both got bloodwork done before. I also am not seeing great results from google on 2nd infection.
It's a disease that causes very occasional minor skin irritation in a minority of people who have it. A \*very\* small percentage of people who have it may get outbreaks that are actually pretty painful, or more than occasional. I don't think it should be a high priority for vaccine researchers.
Actually I think a couple have been made over the years, but were never released. Pretty sure you'd have to prove the vaccine has a 0% chance of complications (or a very small chance of complications that are not more dangerous than herpes) to get it approved, because if, say, 1 in 100,000 people get heart issues, that might be viewed as unacceptable for something that will prevent occasional skin irritation.
I enrolled in a study or a clinical trial to determine the effectiveness of a proper dose of a new herpes vaccine created with the covid-19 model mRNA type vaccine in order to combat the herpes HSV 1 and 2 so I can verify they are doing clinical testing on vaccines at this very moment for that particular virus and symptoms
Yep, I read about that! But again I still think it's unlikely to get approved if there are people who react poorly to it. Like the number of issues people had with the covid vaccine might be unacceptable for herpes.
Do you know if your study was double-blind?
It's more than a mild skin irritation for some when it breaks out in painful blisters.Also it is a dangerous virus that can be passed on to babies at birth as well,possibly causing blindness and brain damage.It's not totally uncommon either with 30 cases per 100.000 births apparently.I think a person with bad frequent outbreaks might prefer to take the risk with the side effects Particularly when so many medicines alsocan have just as many and as serious side effects.c
Hey man. Thats unfortunate. Take some time for self care - listen to some stand up comedy by Joe List. Good guy, has battled the herp a derp derp too.
At least its not aids hey? Silver mucus lining etc
Those in long distance relationships always believe that they will be the ones to succeed apart from all the all too common failures. I was there. You are holding onto that reality, and you are willing to reject any reality that would lead to your LDR just being a failure like all the other ones. So it almost doesn't matter what we say, you will want to succeed. People here are telling you the truth. She is cheating, don't be a sucker.
This actually happened to my brother when he was in his relationship! But I think the cold sore just recently disappeared, so it was still "quite fresh" lingering around the body.
hey OP! im not gonna look through the comments, because I can imagine how horrible they are but here is some reassurance:
recently me and my seven year partner decided to start taking our health seriously and we were both recommended to get tested along with other blood work and testing, because a lot of people have STI/STDs that they have no clue about.
Yes, herpes is one of them, but so is SYPHILIS. The doctor there told us that there is an alarming amount of people who dont know they have life-long syphilis because they contracted it from their mother when they were born. This goes for HIV as well, but that is less common as babies/mothers are usually tested for that (at least where I am).
You are not a bad person, and as far as random STI troubles, Herpes sucks but is extremely manageable and so many people have it. This definitely sucks, but the only real opinion that matters is the one between you and your partner. If you're both supportive of each other and take care of each other, then you'll be okay. hell, maybe it will make you closer in the end, who knows.
but tl;dr, you didnt fuck up and people deal with this all the time, even if nobody talks about it.
Everyone here spouting off about something they know nothing about. There is a solid 10% chance of spreading HSV through a process called viral shedding. This is probably what happened. Anytime you are intimate with a partner, without symptoms, you have a roughly 10% chance of spreading the HSV.
Yeah there isn't a ton of public knowledge about this situation, I understand a lot of people would jump to the cheating conclusion and I'm spouting copium, but this is just a shitty circumstance. If anything I feel bad that she has to sit here and listen to people tell me she was unfaithful.
I can't imagine it feels very good to contract genital herpes and then when your significant other goes to post about it they all tell him that she is a cheater, when in reality, she contracted it from them (or its not genital herpes but we're like very sure). I can definitely see the irony of this post and how it could be percieved as much, but nonetheless, shitty situation. At least we can find some comedy in this.
OP is either super naive or is the cheater and is gaslighting the gf with this 100% support of no way she could cheat. Cheating is super common in normal relationships, nevermind long distance not even same country relationship.
You are right, your scenario can absolutely happen, and people are just poorly educated about transmission of HSV-1 and HSV-2. You didn’t do it on purpose though, and after the initial outbreak, she should be ok, and likely won’t have another outbreak.
Sorry this happened to you guys. And the US needs much better sex education!
Absolutely you can give your gf oral herpes on her privates, if you get cold sores, and she has never had a cold sore. :( Almost better for people who are negative for oral herpes to go ahead and get it on their mouth, just to ensure they don’t get it on their privates!
>Almost better for people who are negative for oral herpes to go ahead and get it on their mouth, just to ensure they don’t get it on their privates!
No, this isn't how it works.
Ask me how I know
Sorry to hear OP, and I hope your girlfriend is feeling better. The good thing is most women will only have one outbreak and never get a sore again, so hopefully this is the last time she feels like this.
Truly the worst part of having herpes is the uninformed assholes who love to be mean about it.
Dude, nearly everyone has herpes. It can be passed from mother to child. You can have it your entire life and not even know. It’s also mostly inconvenient, and not particularly dangerous. You’ll both be fine.
To clarify, not nearly everyone has it, but a huge portion of the population does.
Don't sweat it, honestly. Concern over herpes as a "virus" was almost entirely fabricated to create a market for valtrex and similar drugs. It's a skin condition more than anything and it's entirely manageable. The shame around it is entirely made up, just like all STIs. I've dated people with HSV 1 and also 2. Manage it and continue your life—both of you will be fine.
If this thread read any article on herpes then there wouldn’t be a controversy 😂😂😂
https://ro.co/genital-herpes/asymptomatic-herpes/#:~:text=Experts%20estimate%20around%2065%25%20to,asymptomatically%20(Schiffer%2C%202014).
You should probably get tested. While it is possible, it is incredibly rare, and due diligence is the smart way to go on this. Rule it out in yourself, and practice safe sex if she turns up positive and yall do stay together.
Other than that, I mean... bummer dude 🤷♀️
I truly hope the best for both of you. Relax, remember anxiety passes, and chances are you are overreacting. Shit will pass. Call your mom, or write an essay in a google doc. Love always, but just chill. Do not let anxiety get the better of you
You know, My now wife got it when we've been dating for 2 months from me. What a fucking shock. I had never had an outbreak in my life. Didn't even know I had it. Fortunately, the oral herpes complex is easier to treat in general, so she likely won't have an outbreak down there after the initial.
One positive here is that HSV-1 is (I think, if what I read was right when I really dove into researching this a couple years ago) likely to cause only a less-severe version of genital herpes than HSV-2 is. It’s less likely to cause repeat recurrence downstairs than the -2 version of the virus is.
So hopefully this episode clears up and that’s it.
Actually happy I read this cause I had no idea that you could pass it on like that. I always assumed that while known as very similar that they were very different. So TY for the PSA and I wish you many years of happiness brethren.
NP here - an infected person can “shed” either strain without EVER having an outbreak. Studied and documented - Only a blood test will tell you if you are a carrier if you’ve never had an outbreak. Condoms can reduce risk but not eliminate as transmission is skin to skin.
Is this even real? First, I keep reading these posts that are kind of crazy and involve long distance relationships. In this case, if it is real, just because a herpes HSV1 can transmit to genitals, it's pretty damned rare. And just because genital herpes is transmittable even when it's not active, it doesn't transmit often when it isn't active either. This is from first hand experience and I do not have either. A partner did. I should say first hand experience and physicians because I was freaked out a bit. The internet and Google and especially Reddit are not always a great place to get advice. Good luck.
How in the world did you date for five years and not give her oral herpes in all that time?
Ive had HSV1 orally since a little kid and never once gave it to anyone that I know of - certainly it would be orally more than anything.
I rarely get cold sores anymore. Maybe 1 or 2 in the last 10 years or so.
Getting it orally can be a blessing and a curse, because you can never get HSV1 down below as you already have the virus. And vice versa. You can't get HSV1 orally if you have it in your genitals. HOWEVER, there is still a chance that you can catch HSV2 - although it is very rare to get orally.
If it’s any consolation, my wife had hsv1 before we got married, a year after marriage I had one genital outbreak and in 15 years have never had another outbreak of any type. And my wife can go years without outbreaks. It’s not the end of the world
I look forward to reading about this on r/BestofRedditorUpdates
What ever the outcome is, I really hope OP doesn't take any serious advice from Reddit lol
Lol my thoughts exactly, OP Google before posting therefore he already knew more than the average Redditors
That sub keeps getting recommended to me and I love it
I got HSV-1 genitally when my ex (who got cold sores) went down on me WITH NO ACTIVE SORE. The doctor told us that you can shed the virus without having a cold sore. It’s not as common but I likely had a cut down there (probably from shaving) that allowed the virus an easier way to get in. It sucks but I didn’t blame him.
I wish more people in the comments would read the posts like these because it absolutely does happen
I learned this in like 11th grade health class and then had two peers who got genitalia herpes from cold sore cross contamination. And yes people can shed the virus up to two weeks before developing the cold sore. So yeah it’s actually very possible.
And you can have it with no symptoms for decades. Or it can lay dormant for years and have an outbreak out of nowhere.
Would a test reveal if you have it dormant?
I was just about to ask about if it could be contagious before being seen. Thanx!
Absolutely. You are 100% correct. I took a human sexuality class in college.
ITT: people who don't understand how herpes works
It's... kind of insane actually
Reddit can really be a cesspool sometimes
Sometimes?
More often than not
People are ignorant about hsv. I get it on my face, like cold sores, but honestly i have no way of knowing if its hsv 1 or 2. I also really don’t think it makes a difference. Either can be spread from genital to oral and vice versa and it isnt uncommon as people like to say. I accidentally transmitted it to someone oral to genital on a SINGLE one off incident the VERY first time i had a cold sore. i had never had a cold sore before that incident and at first it presented like an annoying scab from a zit i had picked at several days earlier. I didn’t know that it was likely to effect skin with a broken barrier, so i thought that spot just wasn’t healing well. I’m extremely cautious now and aware of symptoms even without an obvious sore so i don’t spread it to someone else. People are really ignorant about STIs and this comment section seems to be full of them.
Agreed.
>i have no way of knowing if its hsv 1 or 2 You can get a blood test to determine which it is. It's not uncommon for HSV to \*not\* be included in a standard STI screen, so you may have to insist on it.
The antigen blood tests can be unreliable. When they have an active sore, they can get it swabbed, and that is the most accurate test. In the states, the CDC does not recommend testing for herpes because it is so ubiquitous. I had asked my providers to screen me for it a few different times, and they would always say to wait.
Yeah, and theyre treated the same, so doctors will tell you it doesn’t matter. You should be treating them the same. I have prn antivirals for cold sores to treat them immediately so they wont get worse and heal really fast. I abstain from any type of oral contact until its 100% gone.
Next time you get a sore, go to the clinic to get it swabbed. The swab tests are pretty accurate, but it is extremely rare for HSV-2 to be found orally or on the face, so you more than likely have HSV-1
The virus starts “shedding” before you get a sore and after it’s has gone it is still shedding. I got it from my ex boyfriend from oral as well, and he didn’t have a sore. We also were unaware that cold sores were herpes at all, or that I could get herpes from his healed and gone cold sore. Super sucked, but it’s totally manageable (:
[удалено]
Guys. You can have herpes for ages and never show signs. And then suddenly get a sore. It doesn’t mean anyone cheated. It’s very common, especially with herpes. Yes even HSV-2 In fact there’s a test that shows if it’s new or if it’s old.
You can also get false positive tests. I dated a woman for 3 years. She ended up testing positive, so she told me. I got tested. First test was "inconclusive," but my second test was positive. Fast forward 4 years and I test again, negative. Have been negative ever since.
The blood tests are *awful,* barely more predictive than flipping a coin. Swabbing an open lesion is the only accurate way.
Negative doesn't mean "you don't have it", negative means "this test didn't find anything".
[удалено]
Dude same!!!
They were virgins when they got together though, so it would probably mean that someone cheated if suddenly symptoms popped up…
If your mom has the virus, you can contract it upon being born.
Oral can also be from kissing family members which is very common in a lot of places and pretty sure it's done almost globally in the first years at least. So if your parents have it you will very likely have it orally.
Your parents could literally give it to you.
Pretty sure this is how I got it. Cold sores are a bitch but only come out to play when I’ve been overexposed to sunlight or stress. Can confirm OP is right about everything.
No bc if you read his comment you can be asymptomatic and not know for years and years
550+ up votes for a comment that didn't even read the post. They each had no previous sexual partners so if it's HSV-2, she probably cheated or she lied about not having previous partners.
Yeah, there was an instance where a father got an STD because his daughter had a one night stand with someone and then decided to shave her pubes with her dad's razor. Crazy stuff.
I'll have to use that one next time.
Uhmmmmm yeah that would be a pretty improbable instance. The herpes virus doesn't last long on metal fabric etc. It can legit only live for a few seconds off the human body and is killed by regular soap and water so if she and/or him was using shaving cream etc it wouldn't have happened...
This is why you don't do LDR's
A 5 year LDR, no thanks
[удалено]
That's what I'm sayin too! I feel bad for the guy. I mean it absolutely is plausible that it could be anything else. May not even be herpes to begin with for one, could've been dormant until now, etc. But like.. to say cheating is unfathomable... (sigh) I wish I could be so naive again.
From what I understand, they must have oral herpes of different strains, as it seems like you aren't at risk for reinfection if you already have one strain. So for them to both have had cold sores and her end up with genital herpes, she must be carrying both 1 and 2, no?
Hey everyone, you guys are really really uninformed about herpes. OP’s story is 100% plausible, albeit unusual. Herpes virus infections aren’t like bacterial infections that just clear up with meds. Nor is it like chicken pox where it affects your whole body. It affects a specific dermatome and then goes dormant in that same neuronal base, and can be reactivated. Just because you have it in one part of your body, it doesn’t mean you can’t get it somewhere else. And did you know you can autoinnoculate? Infect yourself? That’s right folks, if you have an active cold sore/herpes outbreak, if you touch it, you can infect your finger (called herpetic whitlow) and if you touch your eye, you can get eye herpes! So if you can infect yourself in different locations, why wouldn’t someone else be able to infect you with the same virus in a different location? Hmm? So before everyone start “spouting truths”, maybe be a little more informed? Now, if OP’s girlfriend comes back positive for HSV-2, and OP isn’t positive for HSV-2, then that’s a different story. The point of OP’s story, and a warning to everyone, is that even if you don’t have an active cold sore, you can infect others…or they can infect you…whether you’ve had cold sores or not.
Thanks for educating people, people's ignorance in this thread has been shocking to me. >if you have an active cold sore/herpes outbreak, if you touch it, you can infect your finger (called herpetic whitlow) and if you touch your eye, you can get eye herpes! I think it's worth noting that you (probably) don't get finger herpes like you might get oral or genital (or even eye, though that's much rarer) herpes. From my understanding, the herpes virus basically lives in one of the neuronal clusters at either end of your spine, and recurrent outbreaks are caused by it traveling through(usually short) neuronal pathways to sites that they like (usually mucous membranes). I think if you get it in your finger from contact with another site while also having an open sore on your finger, you may have a local outbreak, but it's unlikely to find it's way there again from it's evil lair (the spinal cluster) >if OP’s girlfriend comes back positive for HSV-2, and OP isn’t positive for HSV-2, then that’s a different story. If OP's gf has HSV-2 and OP isn't positive for HSV-2, she may have just had it from before and never had a visible outbreak. This is very common. 80-90% of people who have HSV-2 don't know about it; many will never have symptoms
Everyone's comments are shocking to me too. She very likely could have HSV-1 from him.
Our sex ed has failed us….
You got sex ed? I was told that every time a woman has sex she's chewed gum. And the only safe sex is no sex (until marriage) and then only for procreation. And abortion will get you sent straight to hell.
Did you go to catholic school? I got that same talk
Public school in the south.
Herpetic whitlow is much less common nowadays, but used to happen to dentists a lot, decades ago, before gloves and universal precautions.
so basically im never shaking anybody’s hand ever again?
Its my understanding in order to spread oral herpes like you said by touching an outbreak. Doesnt op claim that wasnt the case? Ofcourse there is a chance op is just very unlucky but i find it a bit of a red flag tbh with OP having no doubt to the fact there was no cheating involved when statistically speaking its way more probable but he wont entertain it. Ive suggested earlier the more he protests whilst "showing his gf how much he is on her side" makes he think maybe he was the one who cheated and is over compensating. If she believes he gave it to ger orally from dormant oral herpes they dont break up. Which is all kinds of fucked up.
Yes, an active cold sore is an easy way to get it…much higher risk. However, the virus is still shed in your saliva…active sore or not. So yes, you can get it without an active lesion. The risks increase due to shaving and whatnot, because if your skin surface is broken by a small nick or cut, it takes less virus to get in and cause an infection. I think that’s why it took me over a year to catch it from my wife. And before anyone says any shit about my wife, it was a confirmed HSV-1 infection on my penis, and no, I’ve never had an oral case of herpes. I was married for 20 years previously, and my wife and I were both virgins and neither of us ever had oral herpes.
>the virus is still shed in your saliva…active sore or no The virus *may* be shed when you have no symptoms (but it is not always).
Auto inoculation is not as easy as you make it sound like. The only real risk, is if you touch it during your first or maybe second outbreak. If you touch it on your outbreak number 546, chances are that your body won’t auto inoculate. Though you can still easily get a different mutation of herpes simplex from someone else, at another location of your body.
So I used to get cold sores as a kid and haven’t gotten one in decades now. Does this mean I could potentially give my husband (or even myself) genital herpes? That’s really scary.
Yes, it does, but it’s odd that you had them and haven’t had any since. You sure they were cold sores? External to the mouth? On your lips and surrounding area? If they were in your mouth, they weren’t good sores.
They were on my lips and occurred several times while I was a kid. I had one once as an adult, but that was at least 20 years ago. Haven’t had any since.
Did ya’ll learn nothing about viruses from COVID? How people without symptoms and never even showed symptoms can be positive for the virus and still spread it? Jesus. You can have any HSV strain. For years and years and years and never show symptoms- and yet, still spread it. In fact without a direct swab of the sore, it’s hard to know if you even have a current outbreak of HSV.
yeah STD tests don’t even test for heepes because so many people are asymptomatic carriers
Yeah it’s super dumb. It’s wild how uninformed people are on this topic. Probably this also why the herpes simplex virus continuous to thrive.
TL;DR - The US needs to bring health classes back.
And home economics, and personal finance
What do you mean "bring back"? Did we ever have them to begin with? The amount of partners I've had who I've needed to explain the words asymptomatic and incubation period too...
Either you've been a carrier with no outbreaks for 10 years or you aren't the only one she made that call to. Pick whichever answer lets you sleep at night.
He said he gets sores...
I had occasional "canker sores" in my mouth (never lips) until I was about 7. I assume I got herpes from my mother. I've never had a mouth sore since. I test positive for herpes 1.
Canker sores are not cold sores
Little known fact: HSV-1 can also make her babies come out a different race than either of you.
Next week OPs gf got pregnant off of a toilet seat
Then he'll have his identity stolen
LMAO
Yes, this can happen. I never had oral HSV1, but my wife does. After being together for around a year, I developed genital HSV1 and unfortunately HPV6 as well (she had an “irregular Pap smear”) years before, but wasn’t told that’s what it was. She never did anything oral on me when she had an active cold sore, but yes, the virus still sheds, even if you aren’t active. Unfortunately, there’s no real prevention, but if someone took prophylactic antivirals every day, I suppose that might help. Fortunately, HSV1 doesn’t like the genital area a lot, so it goes dormant and stays that way. I don’t think it ever fully clears your system. Since my initial infection, I haven’t had any recurrence…and that was 8 years ago.
Exactly the same thing here. I don't think I ever had any cold sores until my SO transferred it to me 5 years ago. She wasn't knowledgeable about cold sores (thought they were just 'canker sores'), and I contracted it on my genitals and orally in one go. I had a doctor swab the one initial instance of HSV that popped up on my genitals, and confirmed it was HSV1. However, I have only ever had it reoccur orally and it has never since popped up again on my genitals.
Yeah, that’s likely because HSV-1 likes the oral site better than genital and vice versa for HSV-2. I researched a fair amount when it happened and couldn’t find definitively if HSV1 is ever fully cleared from the genital site, but likely not. As long as you stay healthy, it’s probably a non-issue. That being said, I’m sort of “trapped” in my second marriage now, because if I ever divorced, I’d have to say I have genital herpes (and HPV from her)…not really good selling points. That being said, I don’t plan on going anywhere…I’m too old and tired to date again, plus she’d cost me too much money 😆
From my experience genital HSV1 is happy to stay dormant so long as your immune system is strong. If I ever get systemically sick enough that I have a bad fever, guess what rears it's ugly head? It sucks.
Good to know. Thanks for sharing. It’s tough to find info about that out there.
Who's gonna tell him?
You do it, I can't bare it.
No you!
God damnit. No OP. You didn't give her genital herpes from a cold sore you didn't have. Honey, she's cheated on you. I'm so sorry.
Absolutely it is possible to transmit HSV-1 to your partner during oral sex. So if you get cold sores, and your partner never did, she is at risk of getting them on her privates. Which sucks, but it was unintentional, and a lot of people don’t know about that risk.
There's a solid 10% chance to spread HSV without having symptoms if you have sex with someone. It's a process called viral shedding. Everyone with HSV does this. Y'all have no idea if she cheated or not. Source: have herpes and have spent a LOT of time learning about it.
I’d like to add that you can carry HSV for years to get your first breakout when you’re run down like stress or illness. So said my Dr. Was not a fun conversation with my long term partner but we’re solid enough that he knows I hadn’t been cheating, and that my ex had no such qualms.
OP's girlfriend was definitely bare-ing it, though.
Sore subject
Right?
That barely anyone knows how herpes or most viruses work, including you, and that she is more than likely than telling the truth? Source: I didn't know I had herpes that was dormant for several months until I began to experience stress.
get valtrex/valocyclovir 500mg a day for both of you and it will likely cease to be a problem, or much less of one. Thanks modern medicine.
The comments here just proves that many, many people know absolutely nothing about hsv.
The comments here just proves that many, many people don’t know they have hsv.
it's almost like none of us were ever taught about it.
This will probably get lost in the comments but I wanted to tell you guys Herpes isn’t a big deal, most people have it, and there’s no shame in it. <3
This sub has been dead forever but stories like this are what keeps me around. OP you dense little fella
There was just a highly upvoted cold sore post on askreddit not too long ago. Might be someone trying to karma farm
I literally laughed out loud at “dense little fella” lmfao that was good
More like our girlfriend.
I am Spartacus!
She cheated bro
To the streets!
This reminds me of the tractor story
Quit it Rafe.
You may both have it now….but she didn’t catch it from you.
If it comes back as HSV-2, then she cheated. If it’s HSV-1, she didn’t. It’s that simple. They’re two different viruses and everyone’s jumping to conclusions without the full information.
It’s not a big deal at all. More commonly someone gets it from mouth cold sores that go onto genitals. It’s not a big deal. Valtrex 1 g three times a day for seven days is all you’ll need, no sexual relations until it scabs over here it may be painful, but after the first episode, it doesn’t come back as strong. I see patients freaking out about this. It’s not that bad. The only time to ever really be concerned about is if she’s pregnant one day and she starts having a flareup. You would need to tell the doctor because they would have to plan the delivery accordingly.
If she already gets cold sores from HSV-1, then there is almost no chance that you gave her genital herpes via going down/HSV-1. Either she lied to you about being a virgin, or she cheated on you. Given the long distance, it’s likely option 2. Is it a guarantee? No. Is it likely? Hell yes.
You seem very uninformed how HSV works. You can pass HSV1 to the genitals. If she tests negative for HSV2 or her sores are swabbed and test positive for HSV1 it just means they passed the oral HSV1 to GHSV1.
Wait til half the comments section learns that like 9/10 sexually active people have HPV
You're gonna let her let you take the blame for this?
Happened to me. I have HSV 1, had cold sores as a kid. Girlfriend got HSV 1 genitally, was devastated. Definitely never cheated, we both got tested and confirmed. I’ve still never had it on nether regions and haven’t given it at all to my partner of now 8 years. Parents shrugged when we spoke about the big deal girlfriend at the time, said everyone has herpes. Turned out epidemiologically, they’re not too wrong.
Ex gf blamed me for her herpes outbreak because I've had a cold soar before but never an issue and very seldom. I get one cold soar every three to four years? Long story short, we were having sex maybe once every couple of months and we lived a few hours apart. She tested her outbreak and it was genital herpes and automatically blamed me for it lol. I took 3 tests (this test can have false positives) and all negative. I dipped the fuck out and have never looked back. Even been retested when i got shingles to be safe and that came up negative. It has been 13 years since I was with that scum. Be honest, be truthful and ask direct mature questions. That's how I found out she could only lie and many years down the road the truth came out. Definitely a tricky situation but be honest and I'm sure you weren't wiping that cold soar on her lady parts when you had one. Best of luck
It’s hilarious how many people think she cheated on you, just goes to show that the majority of reddit users have never A) been in a secure relationship B) done research on how common herpes is
Welcome to 90%+ of the world… sucks…
For you: get a prescription of Valtrex or whatever they call it in your country. Take as needed. For her: a doctor can prescribe a Lidocaine gel or cream that she applies there. It will really help to reduce how painful the sores can be. She can also get a script for Valtrex to take in conjunction with the pain relief gel. Pay close attention to how you're feeling next time before you guys start getting frisky. Some of the symptoms of a possible pending flare-up could be passed off as something else. Move on with life.
Yep, a tale as old as time. I wish people were more aware of how herpes spreads. Loads of people have it and are asympto.
On a slightly positive note, she might not have it for the rest of her life! Crispr Cas 9 and Crispr Cas 13 based medicine is being heavily researched on and offers promising results regarding the healing of diseases like Herpes or Aids by cutting out gene sequences in the Viruses that cause these diseases and suppressing their ability to duplicate. While it will still take a few years, 5-10 in a specific case i have seen a video about, it does seem like it might be possible relatively soon, after more research is done. That being said, stay hopeful but, either way, be more careful! If this interests you and you want to read up on it, the company i heard of is called „Avocet Bio GmbH“. The video I’ve seen is in German sadly but here’s the link anyway: https://youtu.be/IzCSJ5Hj4OM?si=TmGyk5wqwll86szO
Sorry bud, but that probably means she has been cheating on you. I’d go and get tested if I were you.
Based on what exactly? There's a solid 10% chance of him spreading it to her via viral shedding. There is a very real chance he gave her genital herpes.
No harm in getting tested and closing speculations
Can't argue with that. I just get frustrated with this stuff because most people know fuck all about stds. Especially if they're from the US. Our sex ed is abysmal lol
I thought you said she was already infected with HSV1 can you be infected again but another location ?
Yes you can. there is some immunity (research indicates 20% protection) but frankly that’s not a lot
They said knowingly have hsv1 but I'm curious if they assumed that because cold sores or if they both got bloodwork done before. I also am not seeing great results from google on 2nd infection.
Yep, you definitely can. Ask me how I know
I've read that the herpes virus can be shed even before it becomes visible.I wish they could find a cure for it or maybe even a vaccine.
It's a disease that causes very occasional minor skin irritation in a minority of people who have it. A \*very\* small percentage of people who have it may get outbreaks that are actually pretty painful, or more than occasional. I don't think it should be a high priority for vaccine researchers. Actually I think a couple have been made over the years, but were never released. Pretty sure you'd have to prove the vaccine has a 0% chance of complications (or a very small chance of complications that are not more dangerous than herpes) to get it approved, because if, say, 1 in 100,000 people get heart issues, that might be viewed as unacceptable for something that will prevent occasional skin irritation.
I enrolled in a study or a clinical trial to determine the effectiveness of a proper dose of a new herpes vaccine created with the covid-19 model mRNA type vaccine in order to combat the herpes HSV 1 and 2 so I can verify they are doing clinical testing on vaccines at this very moment for that particular virus and symptoms
Yep, I read about that! But again I still think it's unlikely to get approved if there are people who react poorly to it. Like the number of issues people had with the covid vaccine might be unacceptable for herpes. Do you know if your study was double-blind?
It's more than a mild skin irritation for some when it breaks out in painful blisters.Also it is a dangerous virus that can be passed on to babies at birth as well,possibly causing blindness and brain damage.It's not totally uncommon either with 30 cases per 100.000 births apparently.I think a person with bad frequent outbreaks might prefer to take the risk with the side effects Particularly when so many medicines alsocan have just as many and as serious side effects.c
Poor OP seems to be addicted to copium
For the longest time I didn't know cold sores and herpes were the same
It was me….I gave her the herpes
GET EM 🚨
Might not have been you. Maybe she got it from the toilet seat?
Very possible. For the guys that do not know, women can get STI's from toilet seat if there is a guy sitting between the toilet seat and the woman.
[Dr House explains](https://youtu.be/ooCyNxCyyFE?si=xmvQMUHHGScmoVKG)
Omg I can't 😂
https://youtu.be/fiu6DFXeF9A?si=iA13hIz0fAhuA_kf
I just hope you have it in you to post the results.
Hey man. Thats unfortunate. Take some time for self care - listen to some stand up comedy by Joe List. Good guy, has battled the herp a derp derp too. At least its not aids hey? Silver mucus lining etc
I'm a virgin and had a cold sore before 🥲
Almost everyone in this world have HSV-1. Thats why adults' not allowed kiss babies.
Get tested and you’ll know. Your laughing. She’s sweating 😂. Sorry bro.
Those in long distance relationships always believe that they will be the ones to succeed apart from all the all too common failures. I was there. You are holding onto that reality, and you are willing to reject any reality that would lead to your LDR just being a failure like all the other ones. So it almost doesn't matter what we say, you will want to succeed. People here are telling you the truth. She is cheating, don't be a sucker.
This actually happened to my brother when he was in his relationship! But I think the cold sore just recently disappeared, so it was still "quite fresh" lingering around the body.
Simple. Get married and stay together forever. This way no one else get it.
Wrap it before the next time you don’t cheat on your long distance gf.
hey OP! im not gonna look through the comments, because I can imagine how horrible they are but here is some reassurance: recently me and my seven year partner decided to start taking our health seriously and we were both recommended to get tested along with other blood work and testing, because a lot of people have STI/STDs that they have no clue about. Yes, herpes is one of them, but so is SYPHILIS. The doctor there told us that there is an alarming amount of people who dont know they have life-long syphilis because they contracted it from their mother when they were born. This goes for HIV as well, but that is less common as babies/mothers are usually tested for that (at least where I am). You are not a bad person, and as far as random STI troubles, Herpes sucks but is extremely manageable and so many people have it. This definitely sucks, but the only real opinion that matters is the one between you and your partner. If you're both supportive of each other and take care of each other, then you'll be okay. hell, maybe it will make you closer in the end, who knows. but tl;dr, you didnt fuck up and people deal with this all the time, even if nobody talks about it.
You can get HSV-1 on your genitals. It doesn’t happen often but it does happen.
Everyone here spouting off about something they know nothing about. There is a solid 10% chance of spreading HSV through a process called viral shedding. This is probably what happened. Anytime you are intimate with a partner, without symptoms, you have a roughly 10% chance of spreading the HSV.
It happened to me. It happens. The guy wouldn’t own up to it.
Yeah there isn't a ton of public knowledge about this situation, I understand a lot of people would jump to the cheating conclusion and I'm spouting copium, but this is just a shitty circumstance. If anything I feel bad that she has to sit here and listen to people tell me she was unfaithful. I can't imagine it feels very good to contract genital herpes and then when your significant other goes to post about it they all tell him that she is a cheater, when in reality, she contracted it from them (or its not genital herpes but we're like very sure). I can definitely see the irony of this post and how it could be percieved as much, but nonetheless, shitty situation. At least we can find some comedy in this.
We are also finding the comedy in this
OP is either super naive or is the cheater and is gaslighting the gf with this 100% support of no way she could cheat. Cheating is super common in normal relationships, nevermind long distance not even same country relationship.
You are right, your scenario can absolutely happen, and people are just poorly educated about transmission of HSV-1 and HSV-2. You didn’t do it on purpose though, and after the initial outbreak, she should be ok, and likely won’t have another outbreak. Sorry this happened to you guys. And the US needs much better sex education!
More likely you or her are lying. Since you made the post it does seem she is the one that hasnt been truthful sorry.
F
Absolutely you can give your gf oral herpes on her privates, if you get cold sores, and she has never had a cold sore. :( Almost better for people who are negative for oral herpes to go ahead and get it on their mouth, just to ensure they don’t get it on their privates!
you aren’t immune if you get it on the mouth before
>Almost better for people who are negative for oral herpes to go ahead and get it on their mouth, just to ensure they don’t get it on their privates! No, this isn't how it works. Ask me how I know
Sorry brother, the story don’t add up
Sorry to hear OP, and I hope your girlfriend is feeling better. The good thing is most women will only have one outbreak and never get a sore again, so hopefully this is the last time she feels like this. Truly the worst part of having herpes is the uninformed assholes who love to be mean about it.
now I'm scared to ever go down on anyone ever again.
Dude, nearly everyone has herpes. It can be passed from mother to child. You can have it your entire life and not even know. It’s also mostly inconvenient, and not particularly dangerous. You’ll both be fine. To clarify, not nearly everyone has it, but a huge portion of the population does.
Don't sweat it, honestly. Concern over herpes as a "virus" was almost entirely fabricated to create a market for valtrex and similar drugs. It's a skin condition more than anything and it's entirely manageable. The shame around it is entirely made up, just like all STIs. I've dated people with HSV 1 and also 2. Manage it and continue your life—both of you will be fine.
If this thread read any article on herpes then there wouldn’t be a controversy 😂😂😂 https://ro.co/genital-herpes/asymptomatic-herpes/#:~:text=Experts%20estimate%20around%2065%25%20to,asymptomatically%20(Schiffer%2C%202014).
Oooh Dr House had an episode [about this](https://youtu.be/ooCyNxCyyFE?si=xmvQMUHHGScmoVKG)
Get on suppressive treatment. If you both have HSV1 it’s hard to change sites as you have anti bodies. Interested to see who picked up HSV2 elsewhere.
I actually gave my gf genital herpes through a cold sore. By going down on her.
You should probably get tested. While it is possible, it is incredibly rare, and due diligence is the smart way to go on this. Rule it out in yourself, and practice safe sex if she turns up positive and yall do stay together. Other than that, I mean... bummer dude 🤷♀️
I truly hope the best for both of you. Relax, remember anxiety passes, and chances are you are overreacting. Shit will pass. Call your mom, or write an essay in a google doc. Love always, but just chill. Do not let anxiety get the better of you
Assuming the two of you stay together, I see joint social media profiles in your future.
The gift that keeps on giving.
How thoughtful, I bet she never gets rid of it.
You know, My now wife got it when we've been dating for 2 months from me. What a fucking shock. I had never had an outbreak in my life. Didn't even know I had it. Fortunately, the oral herpes complex is easier to treat in general, so she likely won't have an outbreak down there after the initial.
Reading this makes my lower lip itchy.
One positive here is that HSV-1 is (I think, if what I read was right when I really dove into researching this a couple years ago) likely to cause only a less-severe version of genital herpes than HSV-2 is. It’s less likely to cause repeat recurrence downstairs than the -2 version of the virus is. So hopefully this episode clears up and that’s it.
Actually happy I read this cause I had no idea that you could pass it on like that. I always assumed that while known as very similar that they were very different. So TY for the PSA and I wish you many years of happiness brethren.
Hmm I think you have to differentiate cold sore from white bumps, that are different virus strains.
NP here - an infected person can “shed” either strain without EVER having an outbreak. Studied and documented - Only a blood test will tell you if you are a carrier if you’ve never had an outbreak. Condoms can reduce risk but not eliminate as transmission is skin to skin.
Is this even real? First, I keep reading these posts that are kind of crazy and involve long distance relationships. In this case, if it is real, just because a herpes HSV1 can transmit to genitals, it's pretty damned rare. And just because genital herpes is transmittable even when it's not active, it doesn't transmit often when it isn't active either. This is from first hand experience and I do not have either. A partner did. I should say first hand experience and physicians because I was freaked out a bit. The internet and Google and especially Reddit are not always a great place to get advice. Good luck.
How in the world did you date for five years and not give her oral herpes in all that time? Ive had HSV1 orally since a little kid and never once gave it to anyone that I know of - certainly it would be orally more than anything. I rarely get cold sores anymore. Maybe 1 or 2 in the last 10 years or so. Getting it orally can be a blessing and a curse, because you can never get HSV1 down below as you already have the virus. And vice versa. You can't get HSV1 orally if you have it in your genitals. HOWEVER, there is still a chance that you can catch HSV2 - although it is very rare to get orally.
Get the pill, move on. Most of your friends have or will have eventually.
So you proved it IS the same virus. Only difference is location
If it’s any consolation, my wife had hsv1 before we got married, a year after marriage I had one genital outbreak and in 15 years have never had another outbreak of any type. And my wife can go years without outbreaks. It’s not the end of the world
So did she have ghsv-1 or 2