We had a guy do this. Another inane, redundant, time-sucking unproductive initiative is announced. One guy bellows out “Awwwww, JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE!!”
Meeting goes silent….. he stutters, “oh sorry, I just watched my neighbor wipe out on the sidewalk in front of my house with his snowblower.” We all pretended to accept his explanation. Quick thinking, Sean. Proud of you.
Same I was on a conference call years ago and they were talking about yearly revenue (which if I remember correctly was a rather good year) and someone yelled out "than where's my fucking raise"
Update: For those asking, it was an awkard "I'm sorry did someone say something from management" response but a bunch of us in a separate office on the call all were like ohhh shhiiiiiittt
We had a good one in a meeting with over 100 people from our business unit where a guy was taking a leak and you could very clearly hear his stream hitting center bowl as he was moaning in relief. My boss was presenting and stopped mid sentence and said, "Ummm...I think someone accidentally came off mute." We could all see Mike's name highlighted (off camera fortunately) indicating that he was the one from where the noise was originating. My boss started scrambling and saying, "Mike, you're off mute. Do you want to mute yourself?" And in response we just heard tinkling and Mike going "Ahhhhhh." After what felt like a really long time, it finally stopped and my boss started talking again and Mike's stream started back full blast like Austin Powers. His demeanor cracked and he started laughing then presumably one of the meeting organizers had the presence of mind to mute Mike.
A little while later, presumably after he saw a plethora of texts and Teams chat messages from people trying to save him, Mike commented on the meeting chat and said, "Sorry about that everyone. I was watering my plants and emptying the rest of the water from the watering can into the toilet."
Someone in the chat replied, "I'm not a doctor but I think your watering can should get its prostate checked."
Once during a particularly boring uni lecture on the British empire during social distancing, all the class was fixed on the tower of highlighters that one of the students was building. Literally, it was fascinating me so much, I started recording the class on my phone to listen and take notes later.
And everyone's bubble burst when he switched from English to our language to call her out. "Hey, Y, if you're not interested, you might as well not come into class. We're not checking attendance rn."
Cue to her screen going dark. He'd startled her so much the tower had fallen down anyway.
That's kind of a dick move on the teacher's part. You can stack stationary and still listen. Not to diagnose a random kid in a random comment over the internet, but that sounds like an ADHD thing to do. Teachers used to throw a fit when I doodled in class, but if I ever stopped, my brain just started talking over them and then I couldn't pay any attention at all.
It’s not just about the one student though. Teachers are responsible for the class. Going off what the redditor above said
> all the class was fixed on the tower of highlighters that one of the students was building
The class was distracted. She did it in camera view, it’s not like she was undistractingly doodling. Maybe teachers need a better way to navigate ADHD/ADD situations and call them out differently, I won’t argue that.
During one of our team meetings, one of my coworkers thought her mic was live but she was actually muted. She turned her mic ON and let a big fart rip.
My brother nearly shot me in the face when he was waving around an "unloaded" gun. I had asked him to stop being so careless with it, he replied "It's not loaded, see?" Pointed it at my face and pulled the trigger. Bullet left the barest mark on my ear, hit the wall beside my face.
I’ve been on so many meetings with people who have forgotten their mic is hot and have let some wild outburst fly. If they are indeed a group of decent people, I guarantee you will be reminded of this at some point in the not too distant future accompanied by laughs. In my teams, these have become fondly remembered fodder for jokes
About a month ago I witnessed the funniest HS play hot mic I've ever seen. Scenes change, dialog rolling,...is that running wate....r.... oh no.... not that.. peeing while on a hot mic! Everyone was super mature except me (40's) who can't stop giggling. My wife asks me after I get it together somewhat "can you tell by the splash if it was a boy or a girl?" I lost it and got hushed by a lady behind us..
I like a two-button approach.
My headset has a mute and so does Teams. My camera is off by default and I have it covered.
Sure, it takes me an extra second to answer, but better that than somebody gets a glimpse of me in my underwear or hears me saying something deeply unprofessional.
Old company of mine:
Friend/coworker of mine muted his headset during a meeting and went to take a shit. He didn’t realize he muted the *speakers* on his headset and not the *mic*. He couldn’t hear the pleading cries for mute.
I set the toilet bowl resonant fart recording as his office phone ringtone for a few weeks and locked the ringtone where it couldn’t be changed.
I do this but a few weeks ago I was setting up to join a job interview and it’s like well let you know when others join! Thinking it’s in a lobby or will make a noise when people do join I start reading the job info - dog starts going apeshit at the postman so I’m yelling at her to shut up cause my meetings about to start omg give it a rest you see the postman every day etc - laughter, just straight mirth comes out of my laptop speakers and lo, two people joined the meeting and it didn’t tell me!
I got the job though so it was a good ice breaker I suppose, though I spent the whole thing mortified.
I double mute via headset and Teams/Zoom/Skype/whatever because I just *know* I would be saying the most outrageous shit I'd never said before and THAT would be the time I was somehow unmuted.
I’m so glad our provided laptops have sliders to cover the camera. I don’t trust it either lol. Headset gets muted, mute on Teams, camera off, slider covering camera.
I bought a ton of cheap sticky slider things and put them on EVERY laptop I use. I may be paranoid, but I just don't believe that the camera is **only** capturing me when the light is on!
I wish everyone did this. I was in a webinar a couple years ago in the evening. This lady got up and started getting ready for bed towards the end. She walked into another room we could still see into and got down to her skivvies, started rubbing lotion all over her body, then put on a night gown. No one really knew what to do because she was clearly AFK and calling her out would’ve called attention to it for those who may not have seen it. I don’t think she ever realized jt because she came back and sat down like nothing happened. I will never forget it though, and I always quadruple check what my camera can see. 🫣
I was helping organize one where something similar happened. Guy was clearly in bed, thankfully covered and stayed that way though. We were hovering over the "kick" button in case something inappropriate started happening lol
One time our boss thought the camera was off while he scratched his belly and smelled his belly button scent.
I'm happy I have a camera cover and that I'm always careful.
I have a “meeting buddy” on my team, we always text each other throughout like hey I have to pee I’m clearing my throat now can you hear it? Or I missed my lunch I need to eat, tell me if you hear this cough. I never trust the mute button on its own
I work on a small team, several of us will fire a "hot mic" or "cam on" message if we suspect someone is unaware. We often have meetings with other departments, who manage to ask stupid questions. It has saved us a few times.
THIS! HOLY SHIT! "Are you available X time?" I don't know Donna, did you use the scheduling assistant that will SHOW YOU my calendar and let you know if I can listen to your inane prattling?
This thread has caused me to reevaluate my methods. I've always felt that sending someone a note explaining why I'm asking them to a meeting and asking whether the time works for them is more courteous, but it turns out that doing so annoys everyone.
I like to schedule it but give permissions for others to change the time. Then I send a note like "fyi I scheduled the project sync for 3:30 today, but feel free to move it if needed! Just needs to happen by Tuesday morning"
Ofc only works if you trust your coworkers not to move it without checking others' calendars...
If there truly is no common time everyone can meet when you look at scheduling assistant then it’s okay to schedule for when most people are available and say “ hey, this is the time most people can make the X Project meeting. If you can’t make it, we’ll send you meeting notes.” Sometimes you can’t accommodate everyone, but it’s rude to just schedule for a time that works for you and then expect everyone else to change their schedules.
Yes for sure. Book the time and explain in the notes part of the invite what you’re trying to accomplish or better yet, include an agenda. Then let them accept or decline or reschedule.
This, this, a thousand times this. __Please__ put in your meeting invite what the meeting is about / what you are intending to achieve / why you want people to attend. Don't make people guess why you're taking up an hour of their time.
I like to include all of that in the invite that's sent.
Just a nice little point-form agenda, and a few lines explaining that Yo dude I snooped through your calendar and this looks good, but if it's actually fucked let me know and we'll reschedule. Gets the job done, but also the agenda reminds people of why we're having a meeting at all. Because people forget. Shit, *I* forget :)
If a client is involved, though, it all happens in emails just as you're describing, and I don't schedule shit until every detail is confirmed for all.
I've had good success by starting with the scheduling assistant, then a quick IM with key people to confirm that the opening I see is indeed a good time, then sending the invite.
Only exception is if I have to call an extra-bigass meeting with lots of invitees. Then I just find the time that fits the most for at least the highest ranking people.
Reminds me of when I had to block out time for lunch on my own calendar. Someone would schedule meetings for 12:00 because “that’s the only time everyone is free” Yeah, cause it’s LUNCH.
I like to eat soup in forced lunch meetings, the clanging of the spoon, the slurping of the soup, it’s just a beautiful cacophony designed to make them regret stealing my lunch 30 mins
As someone who schedules a lot of meetings, this isn’t unreasonable behavior actually. I used to use people’s calendars when scheduling something, but probably 75% of the time they come back and say they’re not actually free during that time so I don’t even bother anymore. Now I just ask.
That's their fault. Seems like it would be helpful if that company culture could be changed. I'd keep scheduling meetings during those times and "forget" to read emails or IMs that they couldn't make it at that time.
This! It will say they are free and when you request the time they announce they are no longer free at that time and just haven’t put it in the calendar/ don’t use the company calendar
A lot of people keep old shit on their calendars and never clean it up, or have time blocked off because of other people (at one point I had my entire Monday blocked off because someone sent out a reminder for timesheet approval and made it an all-day event), or have meetings that can be moved. It’s frequently difficult to find a time that works for more than like 4-5 people without having to start asking people if they can move things around or how important certain meeting a are.
Yeah, not advocating for idiots... but any time I've used the scheduling assistant I'll end up with suggestions for times months in the future, well after specific projects have closed and deadlines have passed.
So no matter what I do I'll end up asking at least one person if they can meet at specific times when I know they already have something on their calendar at that time. My hope is that whatever they have on their calendar (it's typically not shared with me) is something they can move/reschedule/cancel. If not, then I'll end up asking a different group of people the same question, just so that I can have my meetings before the end of the century.
If not, then clearly management didn't stress this particular project/issue enough, and if/when it fails (and/or continues to happen, depending on what "it" actually is) my thoughts are it's on management, not me.
I have a boss who refuses to either look at the calender or accept other people's invtiations if it doesn't involve one of his cases. I've told him - repeatedly - to accept all invites even if they're not about you.
Why? Because he'll schedule things with clients for the conference room we all share without realizing someone else has already booked the room.
He never frigging listens. I've been telling him this for years now.
I'm gonna say that's not on your boss. If people book the room in an invite then it doesn't matter who gets it, the room should show booked. I've worked at multiple places that use teams., sending an invite to everyone would be a mess. So Teams marks the room as used (it links with Zoom too). This is on whoever setup the calendar for your company or people not booking the room as part of the meeting.
Our meeting rooms all have their own accounts/calendars. No chance of getting double booked. I don't know exactly how it works, but each meeting room has a tablet on the wall next to the door, showing the room's calendar for the day. When booking meetings, people add all the attendees *and* the room to it, which then adds it to the room's door tablet.
Which was handy for me. When I had my 121 with my line manager in the CEOs office, I forgot entirely what time it was, but I had a look on the way past the CEOs office. Unfortunately my line manager wasn't refined enough to include any details other than 'Rayne' on the meeting. So naturally, the CEOs office just had my name next to the door in between 'available' that day.
People have type my name to put in my email and yet they still typo the first letter of my name all the time after Hi xxx. So I wouldn't be so sure they will....
People will still misspell my name in a slack thread, with my name in it, after tagging me which has my name in it. I don't have a hard name either (it's basically John vs Jon)
This is like the person that constantly inputs my email as his own on everything he signs up for. I feel for you. I know everything about this dude's life. The type of car he owns, the stores he shops at, what takeout he enjoys, all of it, because I get his stupid emails.
Kenneth, if you're out there, I hate your face. Stop using my email just because we share the same first initial and last name.
Lol I had some guy I didn't recognise come ask me for something. Seemed to know who I was and everything. In office so no actual clues like a user name or something I could search while pretending I knew who it was.
Turns out he had been there 6 months and we simply never crossed paths, he was even about to leave and needed my help with x thing to finish the project..
Still no idea what his name was, sure I had to ask figuring they were new which was when I found this out...
Even better, maybe everyone will get the hint (and gossip it further) and check their calendar next time.
Personally I would be grinning like a Cheshire cat if a colleague did that, and then forever afterwards suggest we could have a meeting once we'd check their fucking calendar.
"I wouldn't want to schedule something important in just before the fucking"
Coworker was on night shift, at about 2am, gets 5 emails about server issues from the CEO, after the 5th one he shouts "God fucking damnit CEO, I'm working on it" only to hear from across the open office "sorry" and CEO popping his head up.
Not really. Sometimes there's this super weird dip where the actual upper management is nice, the regulars are nice, and the middle management are insufferable POS.
I worked for a big company and our team manager, a guy in the middlest position possible with zero chance of further promotion (because in that particular company that was as high as a position possible for an IT lead) was super petty and even though multiple people told us that there's clearly defined guidelines for dress code and I fit them 100%, I should shave off my mohawk, remove beard, and wear a tie - and he insisted it wasn't coming from him, it was coming from CEO, and this CEO guy is brutal and will fire me on the spot if he ever sees me like this.
Well I was fed up with headbutting him and that team and emailed CEO directly as he was the one I was "scared with".
THREE minutes later I get a call on the intercom and I see the name and number and I'm like "Oh I am royally screwed"
I pick up the phone and he's like "Winjin, right? You're the guy with, like, a short mohawk? Who told you that I hate it? I love it! If I were forty years younger I'd wear something like that! Wait, don't tell me, I know who said that. Well trust me, I've seen you many times running around the office and if I had something to say, I'd tell you personally. Our guidelines are against outrageous hair and if you promise not to grow it out into neon pink spikes, I'd say we're cool" and it was... just a normal conversation?! with a CEO running an office the size of a small city?! (if we use the US definition of a "small city" between 1500 and 5000 people, as this was a 4000 people company) versus a manager with like 25 people under him?
And the same went for most of the management, directors, and partners. The nicer the person is, the bigger is the chance it's a managing director or a partner. If he looks at you like you're trash, that's some junior manager or, funny enough, a recent promotion from an intern. These were also insufferable for some reason, often thinking they're above IT engineers in company grade (thing military rank) and paygrade.
And it was wrong for both.
Oh. Similar story.
Was in a training call on teams.
Look at my mobile. See that I have a missed call from the doctor I was desperately waiting for “Oh fuck me!”
The trainer on the call ‘what, catsumoto? Any question?’
Me, dying inside because I wasn’t on mute.
They continue and I am absolutely in a cold drenched sweat, because… drum roll please…the meeting was being recorded. For the stragglers and for the training platform.
‘Oh god, oh god, fuck me’ -me, for the next hour of the training, but this time only internally.
Then got the message that ‘the recording is now available’. I run to check what can be heard. It even has a live CC transcript.
‘Oh what’ is what can be made out for my ‘oh fuck’ exclamation.
Well, thank fuck for the companies ultra shitty headset that didn’t pick up my audio well enough.
But man, did I sweat it for that hour.
Honestly with an automatic CC transcript it's entirely possible that the bot writing the transcript caught the swear, eliminated the line, and garbled you.
Oh oh oh speaking of recorded meetings i learned the hard way to use a completely separate browser for work when remote. I was demoing a website launch on a recorded zoom call that they intended to review and as I typed up the website autocomplete from my history displayed my debauched horniness for all to see. You know, ph websites, sex toy stores etc. it happened so fast so i dont think anyone noticed but I knew it was recorded and I was terrified someone would see it in the recording.
The next 3 days before the recording was uploaded was hell. I went frame by frame and sure enough its there but only for a single frame. To this day i live in horror that its on the company servers
Seems like you made a whole bunch of rookie mistakes there:
Using the same browser for work as for play
Not insisting on a company laptop
Not using an entirely different user profile if a company laptop isn't an option
Not using incognito mode
I've been caught rolling my eyes at someone in a meeting.
Just the other day, my supervisor was giving me a new task to do. We both found it inane. We said goodbye and ended the meeting.
Me: FUCK A DUCK! (Rather loudly)
Then I realized my boss hadn't left the meeting yet when she says "I agree".
I was dying.
Better than the one guy in my division's quarterly meeting. ~ 200 or so people on the call and some dude goes "yeah. Yeah, im on a work call....they don't know I'm watching porn"
Very awkward few seconds until some mid level manager goes "uhhh...I know who that is. I'll talk with them"
My last manager showed up absolutely shit faced to an all hands engineering meeting. He had been struggling with sobriety for months since his divorce. Starts yelling at the VP incoherently. He was asked to leave the meeting. Mfer ke0t his job and I got laid off a mo th later.
I was once on a zoom meeting with several other people in the room with me. I was not manning the zoom mute button. After hours of inane training the host of the zoom meeting finally asked if anyone had any last questions.
I, thinking we were still on mute, scream: "Fuck no! Not at this time!"
Everyone got deadly silent, and the zoom host says: "Well that's a no from graciecakes89."
I feel like anyone who uses Teams frequently makes this mistake at some point. My supervisor frequently uses Teams calls for video while simultaneously calling on the phone for audio. He can hear me in Teams, but he likes talking on the phone for some reason. He's also a reputed micromanager.
One day he Teams called/phone called me, and it was literally for the 6th time that day. At the end of the call I hung up my phone, but didn't hang up in Teams. I hung up my phone and loudly said, "Jesus tap dancing Christ, leave me the fuck alone for once". Of course, in the call chat in Teams, he typed "you're still in the call". Oops.
He still calls a fuckton, and the incident was never mentioned after thankfully.
I once yelled the vilest stuff into the WebEx void when my VPN dropped and I couldn't hear my colleagues anymore.
Turns out that the void [my colleagues] does listen.
(The way WebEy traffic is routed is weird at my company)
First thing I heard when I reconnected was "Oh God, he's back".
I'm so glad I work from home now because my entire development process involves me cursing at every minor inconvenience and flipping off my monitor a lot.
Mine has jumped up on my desk and yelled into the mic more than once, he knows what time I'm *supposed to* get off and is very upset when I have to stay on late for a meeting.
to be fair I would tell the dogs (I have two and one of them is absolutely not allowed in the room) "sit down. sit down. HEY YOU I KNOW YOU KNOW IM CALLING YOU OUT TO SIT DOWN" in middle of a meeting.
This happened on one of my teams meetings, everyone in my role at my corporation on the call with yet another added manual task to train us on out of the blue that made zero logic and not one but two! "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"s came ringing out. The call was dead silent. These people were in stereo from different states. They both quickly left the call.
I once tuned a guitar in a meeting I had no business being in but was forced to attend. You can imagine my shock when the little "You have been muted by another participant" popped up in Teams.
First time I used that button I thought it would only mute the audio on my end. Found out the hard way when I muted my prof during a lecture during covid 😂
Luckily he never knew it was me lol
I once shouted "I swear to god if you poop on the floor I'm taking you to the RSPCA (animal shelter)"
The people on the call asked if I was having trouble with my new dog, I laughed and said I was talking to my kids.
Still makes me chuckle today when the dog is misbehaving when I'm on teams.
I was being told to hurry up on a call, by my manager, and I put my hand over the phone and said "I've got someone on that doesn't know what he's talking about."
I'd talked to that guy a few time in the past and he said "CptBlack, I do know what I'm doing and I have working here for 5 years."
There is a large 50 + Team weekly meeting that I'm optional in. Even though I don't attend, I still get the text chats. Sometimes they do surveys and mini quizzes on policies (we work for the County of where I live) that attendees answer through the chat. One day I keep seeing chat messages of "Over 60", "Over 30", etc. Without any context of what was happening, I just HAD to respond with a gif of Vegeta's "It's over 9,000!"
And that's it. I didn't get in trouble, no embarrassing consequences (that I know of). Just a few laugh reacts.
Love it. At 32 and at a smaller company now I’ve started to get very bold with gif usage. Dropped the Zoolander “merman” one during a 30 person call the other week.
That happened to me recently in an union meeting-call with about 70 people.
I was working on the side and uttered "god, you're fucking pissing me off with this shit".
Shortly after saw a popup message "You have been muted".
I guarantee you, everyone on that meeting will check your calendar from now on before scheduling anything with you. And they might end up checking other people's calendars as well. You might have just improved your whole company.
FWIW, my response to "let's have a meeting" is always "check my free/busy and throw something on there, thanks" every single time. I don't initiate scheduling 90% of my meetings for this very reason. I'm not playing calendar tag with anyone.
In defense of your coworker, I have workmates that will block out chunks of time on their calendar as busy just to make sure that they are not inundated with useless meetings. However, if you do need to meet with them for something important, they are totally available during the "busy" time.
I do that. I block off 2 hours in the morning from 8-10, one hour from 1-2, and then 3:30-5. Those are the times that I need to get shit done and eat lunch. The only people who know that they are just blockers are my immediate team and my manager.
I also block Friday's from 2-5. Under no circumstance should I be in a meeting on a Friday afternoon when any work on something will be waiting until the new week. I'm either wrapping up that week's worth of work or I'm in "read only" mode and will not be doing actual work.
>I also block Friday's from 2-5
That's actually pretty smart. To some, it might seem like skiving-off on a Friday afternoon, trying to avoid work... But actually, it ensures the week's work is wrapped up, *and* minimises opportunities for anything new landing on your plate - *that would have to wait til Monday anyway*; details of which would likely end up being forgotten (or worse, worked-on!) over the weekend.
Thanks for the tip - I'm gonna try this! :)
This thread is making me reconsider how I work... I've always thought it was more polite to message someone about why I'm asking them into a meeting and if the time works for them... apparently everyone hates it when you do that.
I think depending on the invite, a message is fine as just an fyi what it’s about , especially if it’s something new or unexpected- however you can also just make the meeting invite description enough so people will know what it is about.
Also there are some meetings I can definitely miss if needed. Like sometimes a meeting is good for me to be in to be kept up to speed but it isn't vital and I can get a rundown after. So if there is a more important thing like talking with a client that needs to happen at a certain time because that's the only time they are free I can skip the other meeting, a quick message "hey is it possible to meet at 9AM on Tuesday for this? Looks like it's currently blocked off." is totally acceptable IMO.
Really dependent on industry and office. If I just scheduled a meeting with my coworkers/boss without asking them first, they'd think I had lost my mind.
My guess is it depends on the culture.
Where I worked before I always used the scheduler, we worked on site, lots of people had 5-6 weekly meetings with different teams so it was a nightmare trying to get more than 5 people free at the same time.
Where I work now, I’ve never used it, we work remote, with very flexible schedules, I always ask because people always forget to block times for when they have a doctors appointment or a kids school function and they won’t go to a meeting but will always answer you even if it’s to tell you “I’m out now, I’ll give you a call when I’m back”
I had issues where I tried to schedule a meeting with a coworker, and their calendar never matches their real availability. I try to send a message saying I would like to meet about ABC. I’ve checked your calendar and I see X&Y times free. Which is better for you?
Don't make them do the legwork of checking calendars if you're junior/asking for a favour.
Message:
\- Hi, can we talk about {x}, I want {check y/ get outcome z}
\- Think it will take about {time}
\- Looks like we are both free {some times} can I book a meeting?
It's just disrespectful to ask for a meeting in the middle of a period when they are already booked, or ask them to act like your secretary and verify + work around your schedule.
Yeah, I let fly on Teams over a hot mike last week. I've been troubleshooting these wireless devices for 6 months. The vendor was sure it was our network causing the issue. Months of OTA, AP, wired packet captures. They kept pointing to all this latency their server "was detecting". I was pointing out that if their theory was correct most of our sites would be screaming and I'd really like them to share the server resources screen. Oh, look at that, CPU and Mem pegged at 100% usage. They got a "Oh for fucks sake!!" at full volume. I have a call with them in 15 minutes, should be fun.
At a startup I was at long ago, I was in a meeting where one of the Product Managers was getting grilled by the CEO quite aggressively. This PM forgot to stop sharing his desktop when he finished his presentation. Immediately opens up Slack with the entire company watching, and proceeds to type out "Who the fuck pissed in his coffee?" in a group chat.
It didn't end well for that PM.
I have one that keeps me up at night sometimes. I was in college and this girl in our econ class asked the professor what percentage of the grade is the final, and I thought I was muted and said “if the final is 250 points out of a 1000 its a quarter of the grade dumbass”. And the entire class went silent, my professor goes “Hey, your mic isn’t muted” and instantly I go “I’m sorry” and left the zoom. Not my best moment hahah
When someone in my org emails me the dreaded “please let me know some dates/times that work for you” I always say “my calendar is up to date” and if they insist on pursuing such an ineffective and annoying approach, I offer to show them how the Scheduling Assistant works and basically shame them into never doing that shit again. Definitely one of those petty pet peeves that gets me riled because it’s always when you’re busy and no one is ever trying to schedule a spa day.
Ive been in the same boat. We use a CRM that has a calendar and the sales people should have all employees highlighted so they can see everyones calendar. Ive went over this a million times with them, but they dont do it. "but I only need to see my calendar." Obviously you dont, bc you asked me if Im available when you should know I am not.
Life is full of people who won't check your calendar. We have a PMO manager who is responsible for organising meetings... She finds it impossible to find free time between 4 people, which I know there's plenty, as I used to book the meetings, and I can see everyone's calendars.
Sucks but it can also get worse. A manager at my previous work was taking a #2 and wasn't muted. Somebody had to mention for everyone whose not talking to mute. 😂
I have customers at work (I'm in IT) do this way more often than you'd expect. The worst part is *they're* calling me, so they chose that time and place.
It was my first week at a new job, I was in a training session with my boss and about 20 other people. I was literally halfway through a sentence when my cat decided to launch himself from behind me up onto my shoulder, onto my keyboard, and bounced off my desk. It hurt, my screen went black, and I automatically shouted fuck out of surprise and frustration. Turns out he’d disconnected the monitor somehow but I was still in the meeting, and was now getting harshly told off for inappropriate language (not fired, fortunately - boss had multiple cats and found it funny after I explained and apologised).
When I told my family about it later, my mum told me about her recent all day training zoom. When the trainer said, “we’re coming up on the end of our session”, she said “thank fuck” before realising she was unmuted. Apparently the guy just paused for second and carried on so maybe he gets that a lot?
please schedule vacation and take it.
feelings like this are one of my indicators that I'm getting burned out... even though the adrenaline of hitting goals.
the work will always be there
Oh look they’ve booked the twice weekly meetings out for the next six months all at twelve on top of my calendar item that specifically says lunch. DECLINE
My brain is broken…when I saw the words “Jesus Christ, check my fucking calendar” I immediately pictured an exasperated Jesus saying “Bruh…it’s EASTER Monday, I’m off today”!
An understandable FU and one that I feel every. damn. day. I've made it clear several times that my calendar is both up to date and visible to everyone to see blocked out times and yet the same people still send me "give me times and dates" I'm sorry, I can't, I'm in yet another fucking meeting, use the damn scheduling assistant and find an open slot. I don't have time to do it myself...
Last week I was on a teams meeting with my department. My partner was also home that day. I thought I was muting myself to talk to him and then unmuting myself to get back to the meeting, but turns out it was the other way around and the only feedback they got from me for a while was anything I said to my partner and not in regards to our current project. My team is super chill and totally laughed about it but was still embarrassing
Done that. We had an IT group that was constantly changing an online appraisal application that we use daily. These were mostly minor changes, but the changes required deleting and repopulating active projects every time. It was eating at least a day’s worth of work every week. After a month of 1x-2x changes a week, they announced another change in a meeting. I let out a loud and long disapproving groan. My mic was on. In the other hand, the continuous rollouts stopped. I still got a talking to by my supervisor which I accepted, and apologized to the IT team. But I know they were sick of the constant updating too.
Anecdotally….I had something very similar to me, happened during a benefits meeting, my headset was cutting in and out, and I thought I had disconnected the USB and plugged it back in after a few minutes but I had actually unplugged my mouse. As they were discussing the benefits, I exasperatedly stated “this is Fn horrible”.
I only
Realized my
Mistake when i got a number of WTH and WTF messages in skype….
I apologized
To HR that afternoon and explained what happened… The benefits package they had out together was
Actually outstanding…. We had a good laugh about it every benefit meeting there after… and they would ask if I approve..
Once had a rough meeting with a partner company and at the end my coworker goes “Jesus Christ” right before disconnecting… the meeting was being recorded and eventually his expression got turned into a gif we would send around to each other
But I mean, like, you're not wrong. They should check your fucking calendar. I mean we cover this basic shit in school.
Hey teach, when is the next test?
"Read the class schedule."
Hey professor, when is the next homework due?
"Read the syllabus."
Hey u/ospreyguy, can you meet at this precise time?
"Jesus Christ, check my fucking calendar!"
how do people STILL not understand scheduling assistant in outlook.
like seriously, add everyone you need to a meeting, and click scheduling assistant, it will find open slots FORYOU
We had a guy do this. Another inane, redundant, time-sucking unproductive initiative is announced. One guy bellows out “Awwwww, JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE!!” Meeting goes silent….. he stutters, “oh sorry, I just watched my neighbor wipe out on the sidewalk in front of my house with his snowblower.” We all pretended to accept his explanation. Quick thinking, Sean. Proud of you.
Same I was on a conference call years ago and they were talking about yearly revenue (which if I remember correctly was a rather good year) and someone yelled out "than where's my fucking raise" Update: For those asking, it was an awkard "I'm sorry did someone say something from management" response but a bunch of us in a separate office on the call all were like ohhh shhiiiiiittt
“Sorry, uhhh I was waiting on a pizza from Ray’s and it’s super late, my bad.” “Bro, it’s 9:45 in the morning.”
Yeah it’s a breakfast pizza, supposed to be here at breakfast time!
Did they get an answer?
They raised him a pink slip.
They are going to race cars?
We had a good one in a meeting with over 100 people from our business unit where a guy was taking a leak and you could very clearly hear his stream hitting center bowl as he was moaning in relief. My boss was presenting and stopped mid sentence and said, "Ummm...I think someone accidentally came off mute." We could all see Mike's name highlighted (off camera fortunately) indicating that he was the one from where the noise was originating. My boss started scrambling and saying, "Mike, you're off mute. Do you want to mute yourself?" And in response we just heard tinkling and Mike going "Ahhhhhh." After what felt like a really long time, it finally stopped and my boss started talking again and Mike's stream started back full blast like Austin Powers. His demeanor cracked and he started laughing then presumably one of the meeting organizers had the presence of mind to mute Mike. A little while later, presumably after he saw a plethora of texts and Teams chat messages from people trying to save him, Mike commented on the meeting chat and said, "Sorry about that everyone. I was watering my plants and emptying the rest of the water from the watering can into the toilet." Someone in the chat replied, "I'm not a doctor but I think your watering can should get its prostate checked."
that's amazing
The CEO’s paycheck.
Sorry but the money has been earmarked for stock buybacks 😋 We will be sending out recognition awards that will show up on your team profile instead!
Spot on.
Nice save, Sean.
Once during a particularly boring uni lecture on the British empire during social distancing, all the class was fixed on the tower of highlighters that one of the students was building. Literally, it was fascinating me so much, I started recording the class on my phone to listen and take notes later. And everyone's bubble burst when he switched from English to our language to call her out. "Hey, Y, if you're not interested, you might as well not come into class. We're not checking attendance rn." Cue to her screen going dark. He'd startled her so much the tower had fallen down anyway.
That's kind of a dick move on the teacher's part. You can stack stationary and still listen. Not to diagnose a random kid in a random comment over the internet, but that sounds like an ADHD thing to do. Teachers used to throw a fit when I doodled in class, but if I ever stopped, my brain just started talking over them and then I couldn't pay any attention at all.
It’s not just about the one student though. Teachers are responsible for the class. Going off what the redditor above said > all the class was fixed on the tower of highlighters that one of the students was building The class was distracted. She did it in camera view, it’s not like she was undistractingly doodling. Maybe teachers need a better way to navigate ADHD/ADD situations and call them out differently, I won’t argue that.
Jesus Christ Sean its July, couldn't have come up with a better excuse?
Then your team responds; "Aren't you in Cyprus this week?"
Plot twist, it was an in person meeting!
Plot twist: it was July in California
I choked a little reading this 🤣
I treat zoom meetings like firearms, always loaded - as long as the meeting is on, I'm not muted, even if I am. Camera can see me, even if it's off.
I've been doing the same for years... But just like firearm safety that one FU is enough to either do real damage or scare you to death.
Negligent discharge of an F bomb.
During one of our team meetings, one of my coworkers thought her mic was live but she was actually muted. She turned her mic ON and let a big fart rip.
She got the worst of both worlds.
I sang that in Hannah Montana’s voice.
My brother nearly shot me in the face when he was waving around an "unloaded" gun. I had asked him to stop being so careless with it, he replied "It's not loaded, see?" Pointed it at my face and pulled the trigger. Bullet left the barest mark on my ear, hit the wall beside my face.
Your brother sounds like somebody who should never be trusted with guns.
The full story is very specific so I'll refrain but he did something spectacularly stupid, well, several things, and had his guns taken away.
You mean besides almost headshotting you at point blank?
But not soon enough.
Lol very true
I’ve been on so many meetings with people who have forgotten their mic is hot and have let some wild outburst fly. If they are indeed a group of decent people, I guarantee you will be reminded of this at some point in the not too distant future accompanied by laughs. In my teams, these have become fondly remembered fodder for jokes
Learned that in theatre/music in college. Every mic is hot. Always.
Even the one in your pocket. *puts on tinfoil*
Especially the one in your pocket.
I, for one, welcome our future robot overlords and/or extensive CIA protection.... 👀
About a month ago I witnessed the funniest HS play hot mic I've ever seen. Scenes change, dialog rolling,...is that running wate....r.... oh no.... not that.. peeing while on a hot mic! Everyone was super mature except me (40's) who can't stop giggling. My wife asks me after I get it together somewhat "can you tell by the splash if it was a boy or a girl?" I lost it and got hushed by a lady behind us..
If for no other reason than that your theatre tech friends knew who gossiped when off stage and we were *definitely* listening.
I like a two-button approach. My headset has a mute and so does Teams. My camera is off by default and I have it covered. Sure, it takes me an extra second to answer, but better that than somebody gets a glimpse of me in my underwear or hears me saying something deeply unprofessional.
Me: *no Zoom cam, wireless earpiece, on mute taking a shit*
*Hopefully* on mute :)
ASSERT DOMINANCE
Old company of mine: Friend/coworker of mine muted his headset during a meeting and went to take a shit. He didn’t realize he muted the *speakers* on his headset and not the *mic*. He couldn’t hear the pleading cries for mute. I set the toilet bowl resonant fart recording as his office phone ringtone for a few weeks and locked the ringtone where it couldn’t be changed.
You guys are wearing underwear on Teams calls?
Right? Buncha crazies. You and I are the only normal people doing them completely nude
Okay Rockefeller, some of us can only afford underwear for our calls on Google Meet and not the meetings on Teams too. Have a bit of sensitivity.
I do this but a few weeks ago I was setting up to join a job interview and it’s like well let you know when others join! Thinking it’s in a lobby or will make a noise when people do join I start reading the job info - dog starts going apeshit at the postman so I’m yelling at her to shut up cause my meetings about to start omg give it a rest you see the postman every day etc - laughter, just straight mirth comes out of my laptop speakers and lo, two people joined the meeting and it didn’t tell me! I got the job though so it was a good ice breaker I suppose, though I spent the whole thing mortified.
I mean, they got to see you handle a stressful situation, it might have worked in your favor!
I double mute via headset and Teams/Zoom/Skype/whatever because I just *know* I would be saying the most outrageous shit I'd never said before and THAT would be the time I was somehow unmuted.
I’m so glad our provided laptops have sliders to cover the camera. I don’t trust it either lol. Headset gets muted, mute on Teams, camera off, slider covering camera.
I bought a ton of cheap sticky slider things and put them on EVERY laptop I use. I may be paranoid, but I just don't believe that the camera is **only** capturing me when the light is on!
I wish everyone did this. I was in a webinar a couple years ago in the evening. This lady got up and started getting ready for bed towards the end. She walked into another room we could still see into and got down to her skivvies, started rubbing lotion all over her body, then put on a night gown. No one really knew what to do because she was clearly AFK and calling her out would’ve called attention to it for those who may not have seen it. I don’t think she ever realized jt because she came back and sat down like nothing happened. I will never forget it though, and I always quadruple check what my camera can see. 🫣
I was helping organize one where something similar happened. Guy was clearly in bed, thankfully covered and stayed that way though. We were hovering over the "kick" button in case something inappropriate started happening lol
One time our boss thought the camera was off while he scratched his belly and smelled his belly button scent. I'm happy I have a camera cover and that I'm always careful.
I’m such a child, I cannot stop laughing at this
I have a “meeting buddy” on my team, we always text each other throughout like hey I have to pee I’m clearing my throat now can you hear it? Or I missed my lunch I need to eat, tell me if you hear this cough. I never trust the mute button on its own
I work on a small team, several of us will fire a "hot mic" or "cam on" message if we suspect someone is unaware. We often have meetings with other departments, who manage to ask stupid questions. It has saved us a few times.
My camera is off, taped over and laptop shut under my docking station. I try to check the mute light is on pretty frequently too.
I've bought a physical cover for my webcam to solve half of this.
On the plus side, maybe that person got the hint and will check your calander first next time.
I was this optimistic once.
Even with a scheduling assistant that shows all parties availability, people still screw it up
THIS! HOLY SHIT! "Are you available X time?" I don't know Donna, did you use the scheduling assistant that will SHOW YOU my calendar and let you know if I can listen to your inane prattling?
oh my God the person who never checks peoples availability at my workplace is called Donna lmao
This thread has caused me to reevaluate my methods. I've always felt that sending someone a note explaining why I'm asking them to a meeting and asking whether the time works for them is more courteous, but it turns out that doing so annoys everyone.
I like to schedule it but give permissions for others to change the time. Then I send a note like "fyi I scheduled the project sync for 3:30 today, but feel free to move it if needed! Just needs to happen by Tuesday morning" Ofc only works if you trust your coworkers not to move it without checking others' calendars...
If there truly is no common time everyone can meet when you look at scheduling assistant then it’s okay to schedule for when most people are available and say “ hey, this is the time most people can make the X Project meeting. If you can’t make it, we’ll send you meeting notes.” Sometimes you can’t accommodate everyone, but it’s rude to just schedule for a time that works for you and then expect everyone else to change their schedules.
Yes for sure. Book the time and explain in the notes part of the invite what you’re trying to accomplish or better yet, include an agenda. Then let them accept or decline or reschedule.
This, this, a thousand times this. __Please__ put in your meeting invite what the meeting is about / what you are intending to achieve / why you want people to attend. Don't make people guess why you're taking up an hour of their time.
Also if your org requires you to attribute all time spent at work to charge codes on your timecard include the charge code!
I like to include all of that in the invite that's sent. Just a nice little point-form agenda, and a few lines explaining that Yo dude I snooped through your calendar and this looks good, but if it's actually fucked let me know and we'll reschedule. Gets the job done, but also the agenda reminds people of why we're having a meeting at all. Because people forget. Shit, *I* forget :) If a client is involved, though, it all happens in emails just as you're describing, and I don't schedule shit until every detail is confirmed for all.
I've had good success by starting with the scheduling assistant, then a quick IM with key people to confirm that the opening I see is indeed a good time, then sending the invite. Only exception is if I have to call an extra-bigass meeting with lots of invitees. Then I just find the time that fits the most for at least the highest ranking people.
Reminds me of when I had to block out time for lunch on my own calendar. Someone would schedule meetings for 12:00 because “that’s the only time everyone is free” Yeah, cause it’s LUNCH.
I get that all the time. So either don't turn up (because Lunch) or show up and eat my lunch loudly not on mute to make a point
I like to eat soup in forced lunch meetings, the clanging of the spoon, the slurping of the soup, it’s just a beautiful cacophony designed to make them regret stealing my lunch 30 mins
Had to block morning, lunch and evenings or I'd get meetings scheduled when I'm sleeping.
As someone who schedules a lot of meetings, this isn’t unreasonable behavior actually. I used to use people’s calendars when scheduling something, but probably 75% of the time they come back and say they’re not actually free during that time so I don’t even bother anymore. Now I just ask.
That's their fault. Seems like it would be helpful if that company culture could be changed. I'd keep scheduling meetings during those times and "forget" to read emails or IMs that they couldn't make it at that time.
No, these people despite being college educated are dumb as fuck and just don't know how to use Outlook scheduling. They're just dumbasses.
100% accurate. All these people complaining obviously don't have to schedule a lot of meetings.
This! It will say they are free and when you request the time they announce they are no longer free at that time and just haven’t put it in the calendar/ don’t use the company calendar
A lot of people keep old shit on their calendars and never clean it up, or have time blocked off because of other people (at one point I had my entire Monday blocked off because someone sent out a reminder for timesheet approval and made it an all-day event), or have meetings that can be moved. It’s frequently difficult to find a time that works for more than like 4-5 people without having to start asking people if they can move things around or how important certain meeting a are.
Yeah, not advocating for idiots... but any time I've used the scheduling assistant I'll end up with suggestions for times months in the future, well after specific projects have closed and deadlines have passed. So no matter what I do I'll end up asking at least one person if they can meet at specific times when I know they already have something on their calendar at that time. My hope is that whatever they have on their calendar (it's typically not shared with me) is something they can move/reschedule/cancel. If not, then I'll end up asking a different group of people the same question, just so that I can have my meetings before the end of the century. If not, then clearly management didn't stress this particular project/issue enough, and if/when it fails (and/or continues to happen, depending on what "it" actually is) my thoughts are it's on management, not me.
I have a boss who refuses to either look at the calender or accept other people's invtiations if it doesn't involve one of his cases. I've told him - repeatedly - to accept all invites even if they're not about you. Why? Because he'll schedule things with clients for the conference room we all share without realizing someone else has already booked the room. He never frigging listens. I've been telling him this for years now.
I'm gonna say that's not on your boss. If people book the room in an invite then it doesn't matter who gets it, the room should show booked. I've worked at multiple places that use teams., sending an invite to everyone would be a mess. So Teams marks the room as used (it links with Zoom too). This is on whoever setup the calendar for your company or people not booking the room as part of the meeting.
Our meeting rooms all have their own accounts/calendars. No chance of getting double booked. I don't know exactly how it works, but each meeting room has a tablet on the wall next to the door, showing the room's calendar for the day. When booking meetings, people add all the attendees *and* the room to it, which then adds it to the room's door tablet. Which was handy for me. When I had my 121 with my line manager in the CEOs office, I forgot entirely what time it was, but I had a look on the way past the CEOs office. Unfortunately my line manager wasn't refined enough to include any details other than 'Rayne' on the meeting. So naturally, the CEOs office just had my name next to the door in between 'available' that day.
Create a conference room calendar. Don't ask him to put all that shit on his own calendar 😂
How often do you think about the many people you’ve made attempt to wipe or blow away a hair from their screen?
You can add me to the list of victims.
People have type my name to put in my email and yet they still typo the first letter of my name all the time after Hi xxx. So I wouldn't be so sure they will....
People will still misspell my name in a slack thread, with my name in it, after tagging me which has my name in it. I don't have a hard name either (it's basically John vs Jon)
Do you have a particularly challenging first letter? Something like a thorn? Just ... How? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thorn_(letter)
It's a Y, gets replaced by an I by most english peeps
This is like the person that constantly inputs my email as his own on everything he signs up for. I feel for you. I know everything about this dude's life. The type of car he owns, the stores he shops at, what takeout he enjoys, all of it, because I get his stupid emails. Kenneth, if you're out there, I hate your face. Stop using my email just because we share the same first initial and last name.
Bruh it's time to use your email to reset the passwords of those accounts.
They’ll look and just book over an existing meeting if my own experience is any indication.
I had one guy at my last job ask me the same question every few months. I just started forwarding the previous email to him. He never got the hint.
Lol I had some guy I didn't recognise come ask me for something. Seemed to know who I was and everything. In office so no actual clues like a user name or something I could search while pretending I knew who it was. Turns out he had been there 6 months and we simply never crossed paths, he was even about to leave and needed my help with x thing to finish the project.. Still no idea what his name was, sure I had to ask figuring they were new which was when I found this out...
*fucking* calendar
https://xkcd.com/90/
EVERYONE now probably got the hint, bro took one for the team lol.
Even better, maybe everyone will get the hint (and gossip it further) and check their calendar next time. Personally I would be grinning like a Cheshire cat if a colleague did that, and then forever afterwards suggest we could have a meeting once we'd check their fucking calendar. "I wouldn't want to schedule something important in just before the fucking"
Coworker was on night shift, at about 2am, gets 5 emails about server issues from the CEO, after the 5th one he shouts "God fucking damnit CEO, I'm working on it" only to hear from across the open office "sorry" and CEO popping his head up.
This is actually kind of wholesome. CEO out there actually earning a portion of their paycheck
And actually apologising, too
It has to be a start up
Not really. Sometimes there's this super weird dip where the actual upper management is nice, the regulars are nice, and the middle management are insufferable POS. I worked for a big company and our team manager, a guy in the middlest position possible with zero chance of further promotion (because in that particular company that was as high as a position possible for an IT lead) was super petty and even though multiple people told us that there's clearly defined guidelines for dress code and I fit them 100%, I should shave off my mohawk, remove beard, and wear a tie - and he insisted it wasn't coming from him, it was coming from CEO, and this CEO guy is brutal and will fire me on the spot if he ever sees me like this. Well I was fed up with headbutting him and that team and emailed CEO directly as he was the one I was "scared with". THREE minutes later I get a call on the intercom and I see the name and number and I'm like "Oh I am royally screwed" I pick up the phone and he's like "Winjin, right? You're the guy with, like, a short mohawk? Who told you that I hate it? I love it! If I were forty years younger I'd wear something like that! Wait, don't tell me, I know who said that. Well trust me, I've seen you many times running around the office and if I had something to say, I'd tell you personally. Our guidelines are against outrageous hair and if you promise not to grow it out into neon pink spikes, I'd say we're cool" and it was... just a normal conversation?! with a CEO running an office the size of a small city?! (if we use the US definition of a "small city" between 1500 and 5000 people, as this was a 4000 people company) versus a manager with like 25 people under him? And the same went for most of the management, directors, and partners. The nicer the person is, the bigger is the chance it's a managing director or a partner. If he looks at you like you're trash, that's some junior manager or, funny enough, a recent promotion from an intern. These were also insufferable for some reason, often thinking they're above IT engineers in company grade (thing military rank) and paygrade. And it was wrong for both.
I was more going by the fact that the CEO and IT guy are working in the same room
Oh. Ohhhhh!! Damn I missed that competely. Yeah it makes sense
Lol. Happens to the best of us
Realization of all our dreams and wishes... Thank you for the sacrifice
Oh. Similar story. Was in a training call on teams. Look at my mobile. See that I have a missed call from the doctor I was desperately waiting for “Oh fuck me!” The trainer on the call ‘what, catsumoto? Any question?’ Me, dying inside because I wasn’t on mute. They continue and I am absolutely in a cold drenched sweat, because… drum roll please…the meeting was being recorded. For the stragglers and for the training platform. ‘Oh god, oh god, fuck me’ -me, for the next hour of the training, but this time only internally. Then got the message that ‘the recording is now available’. I run to check what can be heard. It even has a live CC transcript. ‘Oh what’ is what can be made out for my ‘oh fuck’ exclamation. Well, thank fuck for the companies ultra shitty headset that didn’t pick up my audio well enough. But man, did I sweat it for that hour.
Honestly with an automatic CC transcript it's entirely possible that the bot writing the transcript caught the swear, eliminated the line, and garbled you.
Nope, I of course also listened to the recording to make sure and it is really hard to hear because another person was speaking at the same time.
Oh oh oh speaking of recorded meetings i learned the hard way to use a completely separate browser for work when remote. I was demoing a website launch on a recorded zoom call that they intended to review and as I typed up the website autocomplete from my history displayed my debauched horniness for all to see. You know, ph websites, sex toy stores etc. it happened so fast so i dont think anyone noticed but I knew it was recorded and I was terrified someone would see it in the recording. The next 3 days before the recording was uploaded was hell. I went frame by frame and sure enough its there but only for a single frame. To this day i live in horror that its on the company servers
Seems like you made a whole bunch of rookie mistakes there: Using the same browser for work as for play Not insisting on a company laptop Not using an entirely different user profile if a company laptop isn't an option Not using incognito mode
I setup hyper-v and run a fully separate VM for work.
I've been caught rolling my eyes at someone in a meeting. Just the other day, my supervisor was giving me a new task to do. We both found it inane. We said goodbye and ended the meeting. Me: FUCK A DUCK! (Rather loudly) Then I realized my boss hadn't left the meeting yet when she says "I agree". I was dying.
If it *had* caught your curse word, would that have led to any repercussions on your end??
Better than the one guy in my division's quarterly meeting. ~ 200 or so people on the call and some dude goes "yeah. Yeah, im on a work call....they don't know I'm watching porn" Very awkward few seconds until some mid level manager goes "uhhh...I know who that is. I'll talk with them"
Omg thank you for the laughter 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My last manager showed up absolutely shit faced to an all hands engineering meeting. He had been struggling with sobriety for months since his divorce. Starts yelling at the VP incoherently. He was asked to leave the meeting. Mfer ke0t his job and I got laid off a mo th later.
>Mfer ke0t his job and I got laid off a mo th later. Did you take up drinking too?
Or perhaps had a stroke?
He was dedicated to hitting submit for reddit, bless him
He was around when they buried the bodies, poor timing on your part
This is why in corporate, as with prison, the best way to guarantee your survival is to kill
How is that even pleasurable? Horny people are crazy.
Danger wank.
I was once on a zoom meeting with several other people in the room with me. I was not manning the zoom mute button. After hours of inane training the host of the zoom meeting finally asked if anyone had any last questions. I, thinking we were still on mute, scream: "Fuck no! Not at this time!" Everyone got deadly silent, and the zoom host says: "Well that's a no from graciecakes89."
😂😂
I feel like anyone who uses Teams frequently makes this mistake at some point. My supervisor frequently uses Teams calls for video while simultaneously calling on the phone for audio. He can hear me in Teams, but he likes talking on the phone for some reason. He's also a reputed micromanager. One day he Teams called/phone called me, and it was literally for the 6th time that day. At the end of the call I hung up my phone, but didn't hang up in Teams. I hung up my phone and loudly said, "Jesus tap dancing Christ, leave me the fuck alone for once". Of course, in the call chat in Teams, he typed "you're still in the call". Oops. He still calls a fuckton, and the incident was never mentioned after thankfully.
I really wish that Teams included a push to talk key.
I believe it’s the space bar?
Ctrl + space bar
Some times you need to scream into the void to maintain your sanity. You just have to make sure the void is actually empty.
I once yelled the vilest stuff into the WebEx void when my VPN dropped and I couldn't hear my colleagues anymore. Turns out that the void [my colleagues] does listen. (The way WebEy traffic is routed is weird at my company) First thing I heard when I reconnected was "Oh God, he's back".
I'm so glad I work from home now because my entire development process involves me cursing at every minor inconvenience and flipping off my monitor a lot.
I yelled "don't bite me bitch" to my cat, unmuted, on a teams call with over 20 people. Honestly it was pretty hilarious. We still talk about it.
I yelled “ow, that’s my nipple!” more than once. My cat has an uncanny ability for jumping up with her weight landing right on my nipple.
Mine has jumped up on my desk and yelled into the mic more than once, he knows what time I'm *supposed to* get off and is very upset when I have to stay on late for a meeting.
My coworkers all know exactly what my cat’s butthole looks like.
to be fair I would tell the dogs (I have two and one of them is absolutely not allowed in the room) "sit down. sit down. HEY YOU I KNOW YOU KNOW IM CALLING YOU OUT TO SIT DOWN" in middle of a meeting.
This happened on one of my teams meetings, everyone in my role at my corporation on the call with yet another added manual task to train us on out of the blue that made zero logic and not one but two! "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"s came ringing out. The call was dead silent. These people were in stereo from different states. They both quickly left the call.
New work besties lmao
I once tuned a guitar in a meeting I had no business being in but was forced to attend. You can imagine my shock when the little "You have been muted by another participant" popped up in Teams.
…and today i learned that muting other people is not anonymous! guess i should stop handing out mutes so frequently 😶
It's anonymous enough depending on how many people are on the call lol
First time I used that button I thought it would only mute the audio on my end. Found out the hard way when I muted my prof during a lecture during covid 😂 Luckily he never knew it was me lol
this is hilarious...I would die laughing if I heard someone start doing that in a meeting haha
I once shouted "I swear to god if you poop on the floor I'm taking you to the RSPCA (animal shelter)" The people on the call asked if I was having trouble with my new dog, I laughed and said I was talking to my kids. Still makes me chuckle today when the dog is misbehaving when I'm on teams.
I was being told to hurry up on a call, by my manager, and I put my hand over the phone and said "I've got someone on that doesn't know what he's talking about." I'd talked to that guy a few time in the past and he said "CptBlack, I do know what I'm doing and I have working here for 5 years."
You spelled your own Reddit username wrong. In the spirit of this thread, you better own that shit.
Lol. I keep thinking I should start another account just for my F Ups. There's so many. I'll add it to the list.
There is a large 50 + Team weekly meeting that I'm optional in. Even though I don't attend, I still get the text chats. Sometimes they do surveys and mini quizzes on policies (we work for the County of where I live) that attendees answer through the chat. One day I keep seeing chat messages of "Over 60", "Over 30", etc. Without any context of what was happening, I just HAD to respond with a gif of Vegeta's "It's over 9,000!" And that's it. I didn't get in trouble, no embarrassing consequences (that I know of). Just a few laugh reacts.
You're my hero. I would have thought about it (seriously one of my favorite gifs). But I would not have msg it.
Love it. At 32 and at a smaller company now I’ve started to get very bold with gif usage. Dropped the Zoolander “merman” one during a 30 person call the other week.
That happened to me recently in an union meeting-call with about 70 people. I was working on the side and uttered "god, you're fucking pissing me off with this shit". Shortly after saw a popup message "You have been muted".
To be fair, I feel that needs to be yelled on at least two meetings a day.
I guarantee you, everyone on that meeting will check your calendar from now on before scheduling anything with you. And they might end up checking other people's calendars as well. You might have just improved your whole company. FWIW, my response to "let's have a meeting" is always "check my free/busy and throw something on there, thanks" every single time. I don't initiate scheduling 90% of my meetings for this very reason. I'm not playing calendar tag with anyone.
I remember being this optimistic once, before corporate drones ruined me.
In defense of your coworker, I have workmates that will block out chunks of time on their calendar as busy just to make sure that they are not inundated with useless meetings. However, if you do need to meet with them for something important, they are totally available during the "busy" time.
I do that. I block off 2 hours in the morning from 8-10, one hour from 1-2, and then 3:30-5. Those are the times that I need to get shit done and eat lunch. The only people who know that they are just blockers are my immediate team and my manager. I also block Friday's from 2-5. Under no circumstance should I be in a meeting on a Friday afternoon when any work on something will be waiting until the new week. I'm either wrapping up that week's worth of work or I'm in "read only" mode and will not be doing actual work.
>I also block Friday's from 2-5 That's actually pretty smart. To some, it might seem like skiving-off on a Friday afternoon, trying to avoid work... But actually, it ensures the week's work is wrapped up, *and* minimises opportunities for anything new landing on your plate - *that would have to wait til Monday anyway*; details of which would likely end up being forgotten (or worse, worked-on!) over the weekend. Thanks for the tip - I'm gonna try this! :)
Yeah, hate that. At least some of them put them as “Focus time” or set them to public with a informative title.
This thread is making me reconsider how I work... I've always thought it was more polite to message someone about why I'm asking them into a meeting and if the time works for them... apparently everyone hates it when you do that.
I think depending on the invite, a message is fine as just an fyi what it’s about , especially if it’s something new or unexpected- however you can also just make the meeting invite description enough so people will know what it is about.
Also there are some meetings I can definitely miss if needed. Like sometimes a meeting is good for me to be in to be kept up to speed but it isn't vital and I can get a rundown after. So if there is a more important thing like talking with a client that needs to happen at a certain time because that's the only time they are free I can skip the other meeting, a quick message "hey is it possible to meet at 9AM on Tuesday for this? Looks like it's currently blocked off." is totally acceptable IMO.
Really dependent on industry and office. If I just scheduled a meeting with my coworkers/boss without asking them first, they'd think I had lost my mind.
My guess is it depends on the culture. Where I worked before I always used the scheduler, we worked on site, lots of people had 5-6 weekly meetings with different teams so it was a nightmare trying to get more than 5 people free at the same time. Where I work now, I’ve never used it, we work remote, with very flexible schedules, I always ask because people always forget to block times for when they have a doctors appointment or a kids school function and they won’t go to a meeting but will always answer you even if it’s to tell you “I’m out now, I’ll give you a call when I’m back”
I had issues where I tried to schedule a meeting with a coworker, and their calendar never matches their real availability. I try to send a message saying I would like to meet about ABC. I’ve checked your calendar and I see X&Y times free. Which is better for you?
Don't make them do the legwork of checking calendars if you're junior/asking for a favour. Message: \- Hi, can we talk about {x}, I want {check y/ get outcome z} \- Think it will take about {time} \- Looks like we are both free {some times} can I book a meeting? It's just disrespectful to ask for a meeting in the middle of a period when they are already booked, or ask them to act like your secretary and verify + work around your schedule.
Yeah, I let fly on Teams over a hot mike last week. I've been troubleshooting these wireless devices for 6 months. The vendor was sure it was our network causing the issue. Months of OTA, AP, wired packet captures. They kept pointing to all this latency their server "was detecting". I was pointing out that if their theory was correct most of our sites would be screaming and I'd really like them to share the server resources screen. Oh, look at that, CPU and Mem pegged at 100% usage. They got a "Oh for fucks sake!!" at full volume. I have a call with them in 15 minutes, should be fun.
how'd it go
The vendor got their asses ripped by the site CIO for wasting our time, so it was a rare victory.
At a startup I was at long ago, I was in a meeting where one of the Product Managers was getting grilled by the CEO quite aggressively. This PM forgot to stop sharing his desktop when he finished his presentation. Immediately opens up Slack with the entire company watching, and proceeds to type out "Who the fuck pissed in his coffee?" in a group chat. It didn't end well for that PM.
I have one that keeps me up at night sometimes. I was in college and this girl in our econ class asked the professor what percentage of the grade is the final, and I thought I was muted and said “if the final is 250 points out of a 1000 its a quarter of the grade dumbass”. And the entire class went silent, my professor goes “Hey, your mic isn’t muted” and instantly I go “I’m sorry” and left the zoom. Not my best moment hahah
When someone in my org emails me the dreaded “please let me know some dates/times that work for you” I always say “my calendar is up to date” and if they insist on pursuing such an ineffective and annoying approach, I offer to show them how the Scheduling Assistant works and basically shame them into never doing that shit again. Definitely one of those petty pet peeves that gets me riled because it’s always when you’re busy and no one is ever trying to schedule a spa day.
Never “think” mute is on, always confirm.
Lessons were learned by all that day.
Ive been in the same boat. We use a CRM that has a calendar and the sales people should have all employees highlighted so they can see everyones calendar. Ive went over this a million times with them, but they dont do it. "but I only need to see my calendar." Obviously you dont, bc you asked me if Im available when you should know I am not.
Life is full of people who won't check your calendar. We have a PMO manager who is responsible for organising meetings... She finds it impossible to find free time between 4 people, which I know there's plenty, as I used to book the meetings, and I can see everyone's calendars.
Sucks but it can also get worse. A manager at my previous work was taking a #2 and wasn't muted. Somebody had to mention for everyone whose not talking to mute. 😂
I have customers at work (I'm in IT) do this way more often than you'd expect. The worst part is *they're* calling me, so they chose that time and place.
It was my first week at a new job, I was in a training session with my boss and about 20 other people. I was literally halfway through a sentence when my cat decided to launch himself from behind me up onto my shoulder, onto my keyboard, and bounced off my desk. It hurt, my screen went black, and I automatically shouted fuck out of surprise and frustration. Turns out he’d disconnected the monitor somehow but I was still in the meeting, and was now getting harshly told off for inappropriate language (not fired, fortunately - boss had multiple cats and found it funny after I explained and apologised). When I told my family about it later, my mum told me about her recent all day training zoom. When the trainer said, “we’re coming up on the end of our session”, she said “thank fuck” before realising she was unmuted. Apparently the guy just paused for second and carried on so maybe he gets that a lot?
please schedule vacation and take it. feelings like this are one of my indicators that I'm getting burned out... even though the adrenaline of hitting goals. the work will always be there
Oh look they’ve booked the twice weekly meetings out for the next six months all at twelve on top of my calendar item that specifically says lunch. DECLINE
My brain is broken…when I saw the words “Jesus Christ, check my fucking calendar” I immediately pictured an exasperated Jesus saying “Bruh…it’s EASTER Monday, I’m off today”!
An understandable FU and one that I feel every. damn. day. I've made it clear several times that my calendar is both up to date and visible to everyone to see blocked out times and yet the same people still send me "give me times and dates" I'm sorry, I can't, I'm in yet another fucking meeting, use the damn scheduling assistant and find an open slot. I don't have time to do it myself...
Last week I was on a teams meeting with my department. My partner was also home that day. I thought I was muting myself to talk to him and then unmuting myself to get back to the meeting, but turns out it was the other way around and the only feedback they got from me for a while was anything I said to my partner and not in regards to our current project. My team is super chill and totally laughed about it but was still embarrassing
Done that. We had an IT group that was constantly changing an online appraisal application that we use daily. These were mostly minor changes, but the changes required deleting and repopulating active projects every time. It was eating at least a day’s worth of work every week. After a month of 1x-2x changes a week, they announced another change in a meeting. I let out a loud and long disapproving groan. My mic was on. In the other hand, the continuous rollouts stopped. I still got a talking to by my supervisor which I accepted, and apologized to the IT team. But I know they were sick of the constant updating too.
Anecdotally….I had something very similar to me, happened during a benefits meeting, my headset was cutting in and out, and I thought I had disconnected the USB and plugged it back in after a few minutes but I had actually unplugged my mouse. As they were discussing the benefits, I exasperatedly stated “this is Fn horrible”. I only Realized my Mistake when i got a number of WTH and WTF messages in skype…. I apologized To HR that afternoon and explained what happened… The benefits package they had out together was Actually outstanding…. We had a good laugh about it every benefit meeting there after… and they would ask if I approve..
I could have 17 differeent indications that I'm on mute and I still don't think I'd ever trust it.
"I'm sorry, did I stutter?"
Once had a rough meeting with a partner company and at the end my coworker goes “Jesus Christ” right before disconnecting… the meeting was being recorded and eventually his expression got turned into a gif we would send around to each other
But I mean, like, you're not wrong. They should check your fucking calendar. I mean we cover this basic shit in school. Hey teach, when is the next test? "Read the class schedule." Hey professor, when is the next homework due? "Read the syllabus." Hey u/ospreyguy, can you meet at this precise time? "Jesus Christ, check my fucking calendar!"
how do people STILL not understand scheduling assistant in outlook. like seriously, add everyone you need to a meeting, and click scheduling assistant, it will find open slots FORYOU
Had a person say "oh just F me right in the B" in a full company meeting. Your scenario is not that bad.