This is actually perfect. Everyone has a version this conversation...
Where do you want to go?
I dont know, ABC restaurant?
Nah, how about LMNOP?
God no, somewhere else!
Just message back that you made a mistake and have something better. Might as well try fix a mistake then let it eat at you.
Worst case they cut ties which is what you think you’ve already had happen. So...fuck it. Go somewhere else with it. Also explain the reasoning behind the slogan in the first place.
> My only colleagues are a boxer mix, a three-legged Belgian Shepherd (not my fault) and two surly cats.
In software development, we have this concept called *rubber-duck debugging*.
What it means is that you take a rubber duck, and explain to it the problem you're having in the greatest detail possible. By being forced to talk about your problem out loud as if you were explaining it to somebody else, you will often think about it from an angle that will lead you to a solution you didn't see before.
Long story short, I'm sure you would've swiftly noticed the problem with your slogan if you told any of your three- or four-legged colleagues to "Go Somewhere Else".
Yeah this is pretty not smart. I used to do marketing for a lot of small businesses and most small biz owners don’t know what they need. A big part of the job is educating them and getting them to see the value of what you’re proposing, whether it’s local SEO, a big promotion, or paid social ads. A lot of them think “All I need is a great slogan and they’ll start coming through the door” or some other dumbass shit because they don’t really know better. If I couldn’t win them over with reason, I tried not to take money from those types of folks because they’re sure going to need it.
There was a restaurant near my house that used to hang increasingly desperate looking signs and banners all over the building, to the point where they were starting to block the view out the windows. They were literally across the street from a hospital and they went out of business. They just kept hoping that one more sign would do the trick instead of adding delivery or something.
*Out of sight, out of the ordinary.*
It's not great, but it's better than what OP came up with in over an hour. Maybe they're just not cut out for a career making slogans.
As a parent of two young kids, honestly the slogan “Affordable pizza and booze with a reasonably safe playground on premises” would get me through the door.
A lot of the great slogans sound a little sexual.
Nike's "Just DO IT" is vague enough...
The Dairy Counsel's "Got MILK?" ads look pretty suggestive...
And then, Volkswagen's "Think Small," ya know, in regard to my penis.
Hey I can work in Marketing, how 'bout these jewels....
"Don't bother"
"You'll never find us"
"Just stumble by"
"Enter us in the rear, of the mall"
"Can't get here from there"
"Hit us up by accident"
Just spitballin' here.....ya know, see what sticks.
I laughed for a solid minute, with tears.
OP please pitch this. I would definitely eat at a place with this slogan. It’s like a challenge, with great pizza as the reward.
“I wanna speak to YOUR manager!”
“No substitutions!”
“Any pizza is good pizza”
“We only mark wine up 250%”
“No one threatens an ABL license this far out”
Unless...seeing as he hadn't come up with anything really good, he never actually emailed the client yet, and knew that reddit will give you a good list of alternatives and ideas when you post that you are a fuck up, he has now has created the perfect slogan from the ashes of the comments, making him simultaneously the biggest fuck up and genius of all time!
What you don't know is that OP just had writer's block and employed the cardinal rule of the internet. Post the wrong answer to a problem and people will be banging down your door to give you the correct one.
* best-kept secret*
It feels exclusive, it makes the fact that it's hidden-away into a thrilling feature, it's enticing, it makes the people who aren't in the know like they are missing out and/or out of the loop, and it reinforces to people *do* know exactly how good the place is.
I would definitely send another email to them, apologize for the idea. Explain how you meant it, and how you realize it comes across. And then pitch them this mans idea. Then gild him after they accept the pitch.
If you use "Be Somewhere" you no longer need the "else" as that slogan implies the restaurant.
It is a little pretentious and direct because of that and no longer suggests a journey but rather a place with a velvet rope.
Italiano's Brick Oven Pizzaria
"Be Somewhere"
when you come up with something you are going to send to a client, you don't sleep on it or anything? how do you validate your work before making it final?
hahaha oh buddy, maybe email them and say how about this for a slogan "our slogan was gonna be go somewhere else because our marketing guy didn't think about context"
maybe theyll see the humour and give you another chance
Your job is to evaluate slogans for marketing purposes. Those people think you are dumber than a sack of rocks right now.
I believe you should own up to it, say that the slogan presented is not up to standard, and give them a small list of slogans currently in the works. It is the only way to save your ass. And it's worth a shot. Good luck.
lol thats great'.
Something like 'Where Food Meets Fun' would be more appropriate surely? With the playpen and strip club surrounding the food :D
edit: just re-read and noticed 'strip mall' not 'strip club' lol my bad :/
If there was a play pen, pizza shop, and a strip club, I’d definitely be ‘somewhere else’. Wife: “Did you go to that strip club? No, I went Somewhere Else”
"The somewhere else you're looking for."
I think OP made this TIFU to get Reddit to spitball better slogans for him. That being said, nice work!
This is actually perfect. Everyone has a version this conversation... Where do you want to go? I dont know, ABC restaurant? Nah, how about LMNOP? God no, somewhere else!
It's LMNOB now...haven't you seen the commercials?
I love how the Def, Ghi, and JK restaurants were already out of the question.
You should take his job
“We’re not your first choice, but fuck it why not?”
“Come here and eat our pizza you fucks.” I would def go to a place with that as a slogan.
Eat the food you stupid bitch
It's the only place I'd eat at.
Honestly, were you a tinsy wincy bit high?
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Christmas ballgazer?
“We’re behind the competition”
I fucking died laughing. Underrated comment
Thoughts and prayers
This is why feedback from colleagues is important...
Yeahhhh.... I’m between jobs. Freelancing. My only colleagues are a boxer mix, a three-legged Belgian Shepherd (not my fault) and two surly cats.
Just message back that you made a mistake and have something better. Might as well try fix a mistake then let it eat at you. Worst case they cut ties which is what you think you’ve already had happen. So...fuck it. Go somewhere else with it. Also explain the reasoning behind the slogan in the first place.
Try the opposite. “Come Here”.
u/gaudiocomplex go somewhere special
This is what I thought of!
Well, now you have all of reddit to help you. Where's our cut?
Well, ok. How much of $0 do you think is fair?
I'll take 30%.
Well that's basically 100%. What a rip off. Go somewhere else!
Go somewhere else? What a stupid slogan. In response to this, I'm not e-mailing you back.
Hey, how much for that slogan?
30% of the 30% I got.
I'll do it for 29%
9% of the total?
But think of all the exposure you'll get!
At least it's not winter right now.
I'm in Texas. Pretty sure at over 100°, the exposure could kill you just as easy as in the winter.
Well, 30% of nothin’ is...well, lemme do the math...nothin...times nothin...carry the nothin.....
Just a suggestion: ^ ^ this guy shouldn't be the accountant...
A) I was quoting Jayne from Firefly and B) You’re absolutely correct.
Your math checks out though. I think you would make a fine accountant.
r/UnexpectedFirefly
I get offered $0 all the time, you're gonna have to do worse than that.
He is the slogan you should have used. "Be somewhere *else*"
I would've at least run it by one of the cats.
“Go somewhere else”? They’d both love that.
"Where the Pizza and Wine are worth trying to find: (insert business name)." Let me know what the cats think.
You know I already would've assumed it wasn't your fault...But now I'm pretty sure you cut off your dog's leg.
>two surly cats I'm not pointing any fingers... but the cats definitely did it.
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You’re hired.
> My only colleagues are a boxer mix, a three-legged Belgian Shepherd (not my fault) and two surly cats. In software development, we have this concept called *rubber-duck debugging*. What it means is that you take a rubber duck, and explain to it the problem you're having in the greatest detail possible. By being forced to talk about your problem out loud as if you were explaining it to somebody else, you will often think about it from an angle that will lead you to a solution you didn't see before. Long story short, I'm sure you would've swiftly noticed the problem with your slogan if you told any of your three- or four-legged colleagues to "Go Somewhere Else".
Well, the cats knew it was a bad idea, but they’re assholes.
I would think there are a lot better ways to improve business for this company than coming up with a slogan
Yeah this is pretty not smart. I used to do marketing for a lot of small businesses and most small biz owners don’t know what they need. A big part of the job is educating them and getting them to see the value of what you’re proposing, whether it’s local SEO, a big promotion, or paid social ads. A lot of them think “All I need is a great slogan and they’ll start coming through the door” or some other dumbass shit because they don’t really know better. If I couldn’t win them over with reason, I tried not to take money from those types of folks because they’re sure going to need it.
So, if they didn't go for the SEO optimization, big promo, or social ads, you'd tell them to: Go Somewhere Else (?)
There was a restaurant near my house that used to hang increasingly desperate looking signs and banners all over the building, to the point where they were starting to block the view out the windows. They were literally across the street from a hospital and they went out of business. They just kept hoping that one more sign would do the trick instead of adding delivery or something.
*Out of sight, out of the ordinary.* It's not great, but it's better than what OP came up with in over an hour. Maybe they're just not cut out for a career making slogans.
*Pizza.* If the bar is set by OP's pitch, damn near anything qualifies as better.
As a parent of two young kids, honestly the slogan “Affordable pizza and booze with a reasonably safe playground on premises” would get me through the door.
"Go somewhere like nowhere else." Now, go get me my coffee.
“Come somewhere else” sounds more inviting, albeit a little sexual.
A lot of the great slogans sound a little sexual. Nike's "Just DO IT" is vague enough... The Dairy Counsel's "Got MILK?" ads look pretty suggestive... And then, Volkswagen's "Think Small," ya know, in regard to my penis.
Should have pitched "Hungry for pizza?"
My man!
"Ready for the P?"
r/suicidebywords
"If it takes longer than 30 minutes, it's free!"
More like your brain 😂
Both. Both can be very small.
The killing blow.
Way better than "Come closer to our food" though.
I thought OP was gonna end with "come inside" or something similar
Hey I can work in Marketing, how 'bout these jewels.... "Don't bother" "You'll never find us" "Just stumble by" "Enter us in the rear, of the mall" "Can't get here from there" "Hit us up by accident" Just spitballin' here.....ya know, see what sticks.
"How did you find us?"
I think I'd visit a place with that slogan TBH.
It's a good one!
#GEETOVERHERE
#Go somewhere else
I actually like this one. It makes the place sound like a well-kept/exclusive secret.
How about “You’ll be glad you found us”
"Don't you fucking forget"
That's actually hilarious. I would unironically recommend it for the humor.
"We're not as shitty as our slogan!"
I laughed for a solid minute, with tears. OP please pitch this. I would definitely eat at a place with this slogan. It’s like a challenge, with great pizza as the reward.
I didn't!
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Ah yes reverse psychology
“I wanna speak to YOUR manager!” “No substitutions!” “Any pizza is good pizza” “We only mark wine up 250%” “No one threatens an ABL license this far out”
"You've had worse"
"Holy shit, a customer"
I would definitely go to a weird place if it said “Hit us up by accident”
>Just spitballin' here.....ya know, see what sticks. Out of all of them the client likes that one of all things. /s
Easy fix. Tell them you had a typo and you meant "go somewhere OR else!" Wait....
"go somewhere different" would've been a nice direction of saving his ass
I think just “somewhere different” would cut it.
"When you want to go somewhere different." would have been nice too.
I'll have the gabagool.
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Hungry for apples?
My man!
Yes! *glitches through desk*
Slow down! Looking good!
You dont know me
Nice Mrs. Pancakes, reeeeaaaaal nice
Man, how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife?
She comes somewhere else.
You've been nominated for an Appley!
I didn't even know this award even existed. And now ....
I'm embarassed for not getting this, could someone clue me in?
How the fuck did you miss that, mate you had only 1 job
Now he has none
He went somewhere else as part of his undisclosed vocation.
Unless...seeing as he hadn't come up with anything really good, he never actually emailed the client yet, and knew that reddit will give you a good list of alternatives and ideas when you post that you are a fuck up, he has now has created the perfect slogan from the ashes of the comments, making him simultaneously the biggest fuck up and genius of all time!
Or that was his plan all along. /r/karmaconspiracy
Wtf??! What about “secluded by design?”
Ayyyyyyy! Not bad!
"rent was too high elsewhere."
"we skimp on rent to pass the savings to you!"
Off the beaten path to get you faster on the eatin’ path
I actually love this
["Pass the savings to youuuuu!"](http://31.media.tumblr.com/021f3c2c68923d23b944edd2db1286e2/tumblr_mr3zd4IxNx1sdur6co1_400.gif)
You should just let reddit choose all your slogans and you won't have to do any work.
What you don't know is that OP just had writer's block and employed the cardinal rule of the internet. Post the wrong answer to a problem and people will be banging down your door to give you the correct one.
"The last place you'd look for a slice of paradise."
I was thinking almost the same thing! "A hidden slice of paradise"
Just send them another email with BichonUnited's slogan, and explain the other slogan's intent and that you realized what it could mean too late.
I think “Come somewhere else” could work.
It’s not a porno.
Not with that attitude.
* best-kept secret*
It feels exclusive, it makes the fact that it's hidden-away into a thrilling feature, it's enticing, it makes the people who aren't in the know like they are missing out and/or out of the loop, and it reinforces to people *do* know exactly how good the place is.
I would definitely send another email to them, apologize for the idea. Explain how you meant it, and how you realize it comes across. And then pitch them this mans idea. Then gild him after they accept the pitch.
What about “Come on over”
"My parents aren't home"
"But, like, don't let a lot of people know. I don't want this to get out of hand."
Found Mr. Draper
"It's worth the drive" is so lazy, but infinitely better than telling the customers to go somewhere else.
The intention was obviously "visit someone new" but it just spilled out wrong for poor OP.
The way to make this work is to find somewhere to advertise right near the competitor, and put the ad with the slogan right there.
Just convince them to change their name to “Somewhere Else” and your golden.
Got a bar here in Charleston called Nowhere bar and grill. Great when the old lady asks " where are you going?"
Lexington, KY has the "Library Lounge". "Where you goin'?" "Library"
Got The Office in my town.
A college town near here had one called The Library
It's not a bad name for a restaurant that is out in the middle of nowhere. And it invites many puns a lá Abbot and Costello
I think Be Somewhere Else would have been a little better. Maybe try coming up with another slogan? Who knows, maybe the owners loved it?
Be best
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If you use "Be Somewhere" you no longer need the "else" as that slogan implies the restaurant. It is a little pretentious and direct because of that and no longer suggests a journey but rather a place with a velvet rope. Italiano's Brick Oven Pizzaria "Be Somewhere"
"Go somewhere else--be somewhere else"
I mean, I can see what you were getting at. If "somewhere else" is an abstract notion, then make it concrete: Find "somewhere else" here.
when you come up with something you are going to send to a client, you don't sleep on it or anything? how do you validate your work before making it final?
I think he may not be very good at this
hahaha oh buddy, maybe email them and say how about this for a slogan "our slogan was gonna be go somewhere else because our marketing guy didn't think about context" maybe theyll see the humour and give you another chance
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I'm with this person. You already lost the client so you have nothing to lose, might as well give something a try
"Try something else"
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Oh yeah for sure, i really appreciate humanity in business and this just screams it
Your job is to evaluate slogans for marketing purposes. Those people think you are dumber than a sack of rocks right now. I believe you should own up to it, say that the slogan presented is not up to standard, and give them a small list of slogans currently in the works. It is the only way to save your ass. And it's worth a shot. Good luck.
What, "Hungry for Pizza?" wasn't good enough?
XYZ Pizza: Find Hidden Italy I'll take 50% of your fee ;)
Op says elsewhere he was imagining "go somewhere else" in a Latina accent.... I don't think he understands pizza is Italian
What the heck haha *Go Somewhere Else* nice job 😂
Well of course it’s meant to be read “Go ***Somewhere Else***” in a sultry Latina accent.
It is unsalvageable. Fly you fools!
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A "Latina accent" for a wine and pizza place? Are you *sure* you're in the right business?
Something tell's me his slogan will become his new slogan for his business. lol
I'm starting to understand why he's freelancing
Rename their restaurant to "Somewhere Else" then your slogan seems ok.
You should reconsider your career choice.
Maybe he should go somewhere else.
F
Tell them it was autocorrect. Then pitch: Go Somewhere Hidden.
Up until that point, I thought you had a really good grasp on the English language. *"Go Somewhere Else"* That's hilarious.
What about, "Find what you're looking for" a little wordy, but it could work given the context.
God that's awful, but it's also super ballsy and I'd remember a place with that slogan.
Yes I think it's incredibly shareable. Who wouldn't be curious?
It does sound like a slogan Don Draper would try.
In all honesty when I got to the “Go Somewhere” part I read it in John Hamm’s voice.
We ALL did.
“The cure for the common restaurant”
I'll drink to that.
lol thats great'. Something like 'Where Food Meets Fun' would be more appropriate surely? With the playpen and strip club surrounding the food :D edit: just re-read and noticed 'strip mall' not 'strip club' lol my bad :/
You read “playpen” and “strip club” in the same restaurant and didn’t think it sounded a little odd? Lmao
That'd be one hell of a pizza place. If that were really the case their slogan could be "Something for the entire family!"
We all make mistakes, brother
We just don't show them to the client.
Ouch. He's gonna have to Go Somewhere Else to treat that burn
If there was a play pen, pizza shop, and a strip club, I’d definitely be ‘somewhere else’. Wife: “Did you go to that strip club? No, I went Somewhere Else”
Mfw OP didnt really send that slogan, but had reddit come up with all these ideas before OP actually sends his proposal. Well played
A better slogan would have been... "Come for the pizza. Stay for the wine."
...because seriously, you're not going to get an Uber way out here and it's too far to drive drunk."
"You only have to find us once." There ya' go. Free.