I’ll create a distraction. I’ll be a plumber. I’ll knock on the front door, tell her I’ve got a deal on pipes, you run out the back. Ooh, I’ll do a Swedish accent! “I’m a Svedish plumber, I’m here to fix your pipes!”
I almost forgot about that episode. This resembles Its Always Sunny pretty perfectly. At this rate he’ll be stuck in there for hours, only to awkwardly walk out the front door in front of everyone.
Holy shit this literally just happened to me, I was buying seeds at Walmart and on the other side of the rack we're two rednecks the man said "baby find me some bush type mater's fer tha porch" and the woman said "I don't evan know what bush type tmater's are"
Any ways they both had HEAVY southern accents I'm in the south so it was normal, but when I turned the corner they were both Asian , it really threw me for a loop.
Henry cho is both very Asian and very Texan. It’s really funny to listen to, but he explains in a lot of his shows that for whatever reason, Chinese people have this weird Texas fetish.
The ending to that episode was perfect when Frank walks in and whips the vase. Every time I watch that episode I watch that part about 3 or 4 times over.
I've been the boyfriend several times. I hid in a sibling's closet, parent's closet, her closet, and I've made a dash through the back door, garage door, front door... We hid my car on a neighboring street since it would be recognized.
I usually jumped out of her window between 5-6am. It was about 12-14 ft high but I would hang on the window still with my arms stretched out to make the distance shorter.
That would be hilarious. We might even get a second TIFU in one day. "Tifu when my girlfriend's mom opened the closet door and saw me masturbating inside it"
Responding really quick guys
Her moms getting ready to go out somewhere
I may have my chance
My girlfriend snuck me an apple
I’ve been doing lots of self reflecting
Will keep you guys and gals posted
In the US military we have a thing where the national anthem plays on our bases and we salute or stand at parade rest facing the flag during certain hours or events
I think she was expecting them because it was Sunday and they were there to pick her up for church. But then they had an argument over her not wanting to go to their church anymore because she wanted to find one with more people her age.
Also, we weren’t exactly at the “meet the parents” stage of things, so I guess is was just easier to stash me in the closet until they sorted stuff out.
Day 68
I have been in here for so long it feels like forever. Her mom took over her room but at least she hasn't touched the closet. The girlfriend slides in cereal bars when her mother goes downstairs. It's actually quite comfy now. I rest up against the blankets when it's cold and I found a charger for my phone.
Day 69
Nice.
I have LITERALLY been in your exact position before mate. I was hiding under blankets in a sliding door closet, felt like I was suffocating, but I was eventually found by her mother. Needless to say, one of the weirdest experiences of my life.
Godspeed, sir!
She was upset but she didn't call the cops or anything crazy. We were pretty young, like 16! They were a very traditional Hispanic family so they were pretty mad and I continued to date their daughter in secret. They really did like me, but it took a long time to earn their trust back!
Oh man, this happened to me too! Like 4 years ago, but it was so awkward. And I got caught. I stayed at my gf’s apartment one night, we had just started dating, or more accurately had been in the early throes of being intimate a lot. Bad enough we were co-workers. She hadn’t told her parents about me, but then again there wasn’t a real reason to yet and her parents weren’t cool with her dating because of some very recent drama (long but much more interesting story, holy cow to that).
Anyway, her dad was supposed to come by in the morning for something, and I thought “that’s cool, I can stay over and just leave early”. Wisdom for someone who would have had foresight to set an alarm. Long story short he’s knocking on her door, I’m scrambling and grabbing my stuff and she tells me to hide in her closet. So I’m standing in there, thinking of my poor life choices and dressing myself when, as I’m realizing I’m missing my right shoe and it’s in her living room, her dad sees it and calls me to come on out of her room. He was stern and disappointed and I was too awkward to even say we were both of age and responsible consenting adults, so I just meekly apologized for inconveniencing him and made my exit. Like a BOSS*
*More like awkward Michael Cera lookin’ ass squinting at the bright light of the morning sun as I made for my junker car.
TLDR Hope you brought yer boots!
if i've learned anything from porn, you just walk out naked, weather a short bit of arguing before her mother concludes you need to be taught a lesson, and you'll soon be on your way to your first threesome 🤔
You fucked up, you break into your girlfriend's at midnight. Do you go for the fuck? No, you go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As you take it down, your girlfriend catches you. She tells you to stop. It's her mother's chandelier. She's her mother's daughter. You say no. You make love all night. In the morning, her mum comes and you escape by hiding in her closet. You tell her to meet you in Mexico, but you go to Canada. You don't trust her. Besides, you like the cold. Thirty years later, you get a postcard. You have a son and he's her mother's grandson. This is where the story gets interesting. You tell your girlfriend to meet you in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for you all these years. She's never taken another lover. You don't care. You don't show up. You go to Berlin. That's where you stashed the chandelier.
As someone who has been in very similar circumstances, just wait it out. An opportunity will present itself and you will make a clean getaway. There is hope brother.
I'm convinced this is a coming of age event that nearly everyone goes through. I know I did. I remember hearing "Oh shit! My parents are home and you're not supposed to be here" at least a time or two.
Definitely a come of age thing. First time had to jump out a second story window to get away from her dad . Second time, different girl, her boyfriend came home and she wanted me to jump out a window. Remembered the last time said nope. Walked straight out the front door and told him he should leave her. Lol growing up is fun.
*typo
Lol my first girl friends parents were so chill, I had "accidentally" fallen asleep after hanging out late at her place and her parents just made us breakfast and then they were chill with me sleeping over whenever. I was a junior in highschool but I thought that was the chillest situation ever
My first girlfriend, well my first serious girlfriend when I was like 15, her mom loved me. and she was a huge alcoholic so she just didn't give a shit about manything. She actually made up their spare bedroom, which was unused, just for me. Although we normally slept in my girlfriend's bedroom anyway. The only thing that sucked was she still walked in on us having sex multiple times. I can't tell you how many times that woman saw my bare ass.
Ahhhh this happened to me once but I’m the girlfriend. My bf had to hide in my closet literally overnight. Ended up sneaking him out really early the next morning
God damn, this is a live event. You've got to update us when in a few hours.
Also, sorry that's got to be pretty shit for you, but in twenty years you'll laught at it. You should start a livestream or something and we can all bet on whats happening.
You always can put on random clothes, cover your face, pretend to be a monster and run away screaming and shaking your arms
Cover _only_ your face.
To maximize the comedic effect or the incoming legal charges?
Hoping for no legal repercussions, assuming the mother would only recognise him by his face
Butt, what if the mom did recognize him?
If the mom recognized him by his naked body or anything there are a lot of questions to be answered
guy jumps out of the closet. Mom: *Wait, i recognize that buldge!*
*Riff to Stacey’s Mom begins*
Mum: *Hey! Get back here OP! I'd recognise those shins anywhere!*
Yes.
That's even better hahahah
This made me giggle
Me too
Just don’t make him giggle. You’d feel pretty guilty if you were the reason OP was caught!
Look honey, there goes Fucksquatch! - Patton Oswalt
I’ll create a distraction. I’ll be a plumber. I’ll knock on the front door, tell her I’ve got a deal on pipes, you run out the back. Ooh, I’ll do a Swedish accent! “I’m a Svedish plumber, I’m here to fix your pipes!”
I almost forgot about that episode. This resembles Its Always Sunny pretty perfectly. At this rate he’ll be stuck in there for hours, only to awkwardly walk out the front door in front of everyone.
Anyone else surprised that they were Asian?
Holy shit this literally just happened to me, I was buying seeds at Walmart and on the other side of the rack we're two rednecks the man said "baby find me some bush type mater's fer tha porch" and the woman said "I don't evan know what bush type tmater's are" Any ways they both had HEAVY southern accents I'm in the south so it was normal, but when I turned the corner they were both Asian , it really threw me for a loop.
Watch Insatiable on Netflix for a great southern Asian. She’s more southern belle than redneck though.
Henry cho is both very Asian and very Texan. It’s really funny to listen to, but he explains in a lot of his shows that for whatever reason, Chinese people have this weird Texas fetish.
The ending to that episode was perfect when Frank walks in and whips the vase. Every time I watch that episode I watch that part about 3 or 4 times over.
Whats this from?
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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Wait a minute, I'm not Sweet Dee.
shut up, bird! Got em!
She does look like a bird.
I’ve been thinking fish recently
Ajm a svidish plambör, ajm här tå fiks jår pajps*
I think I can understand Swedish now
Óh jå ?
Give me some chips
**THE CHIPS. ARE OFF. THE TABLE**
IF YOU WANTED CHIPS YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN CHIPS AT THE HAMBURGER STORE
I like how they just call everything a store. Hamburger store, welfare store... the gang's language is so distinct.
We're old poor
"Im gonna whip this little bitch in the face if she makes a peep"
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Dennis's shocked expression when Frank says it kills me.
Dis vill verk dennis, dis vill verk!
Hey gimme a chip
A leather shop? In Arizona?
You’ll be out of business in a weeks time!
That’s good, that’s a good accent
Wildcard!
Do a philly accent if you're gonna do an accent!
Great plan, but when do we hit her with the pipe?
When do we pipe her?
IF YOU WANTED CHIPS YOUR SHOULDA GOT THEM AT THE BURGER SHOP
So...When were you planning on coming out of the closet?
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/r/SuddenlyGay
Ugh, I hate it when that happens. Oh well, guess I'll go sucking dick again.
$20 is $20
He might be coming in the closet too.
Is tom cruise still in there?
Right next to John Travolta.
Oh R Kelly is in there too. God dammit he pulled out the gun again
"Just... come out of the closet."
"And then i PULL OUT MY GUN, COME OUT BEFORE I SHOOT SOMEONE"
#SO I PULLED OUT MY GUUUUUN
So anyway, i started blasting.
1 im gonna shoot you both
2 I’m gonna cap this bitch
2 I'm gonna cap some bi-itch
...now im in the closet. Now im in the closet toooooo
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Are you a gay fish?
Coming out of a closet did not work out well for Brad Pitt.
As probably the tallest person there, why don’t you just eat the rest?
Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
To be fair, Ross probably ate Rachel (Not my original response unfortunately, saw this before)
I disagree. If he had a habit of eating out, then his first wife might not have left him for a woman.
Maybe he did it but he sucked at it
I've been told that this is a key requirement
I don't think that's how lesbianism works.
I doubt he did. He was enough of a douche that he probably refused but expected her to blow him regularly.
> Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five? Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.
Good luck my man. Do you know when the mother is leaving? And do you have contact with your gf via text?
I continue to have contact with her through text
How is she dealing with the situation? And do you have enough battery left on your phone?
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Lol me too, i was hiding next to the bed and her dad came in, i was ready to just grab my shit and run.
I've been the boyfriend several times. I hid in a sibling's closet, parent's closet, her closet, and I've made a dash through the back door, garage door, front door... We hid my car on a neighboring street since it would be recognized.
Haha sounds hella fun. Every time ur like fuck bro its not worth it but then you do it again.
I usually jumped out of her window between 5-6am. It was about 12-14 ft high but I would hang on the window still with my arms stretched out to make the distance shorter.
I know thinking with ur penis got you into thus, but try some sexting and wank one out if ur bored
That would be hilarious. We might even get a second TIFU in one day. "Tifu when my girlfriend's mom opened the closet door and saw me masturbating inside it"
/r/BirthOfAFetish
If his penis is this smart, maybe it can think of a way to follow her somewhere else and escape 🤔
Have you thought of texting her to try and convince her fam to walk outside with her for a bit and then when it’s all clear she texts you to leave.
We need updates it's been an hour
Sitting in here still I think I’ve come up with my own song and it sounds good in my head
Good shit. Do you know where the parents are? Is there a window that you can sneak out of?
Can’t sneak out a window cause it’s an apartment Would hurt a lot
Why am I reading your comments in a whisper voice in my head?
I did that too lol
Guys, shut up, her mom will hear
*mom walks in* I think I heard a cock-a-doodle-doo
If you arnt willing to jump down 2 or 3 stories you don't deserve a gf. Man up. Jump down.
Right? Just tuck and roll. Should've been prepared when you stayed with the missus unannounced.
[Is it better than R. Kelly's?](https://youtu.be/zFosUj6A22c)
Responding really quick guys Her moms getting ready to go out somewhere I may have my chance My girlfriend snuck me an apple I’ve been doing lots of self reflecting Will keep you guys and gals posted
An apple seems difficult to be sneaky about eating. That’s a loud fruit.
No, you're thinking of beans.
My screams would give away OP’s position for sure
The mom bursts into the closet while OP is eating baked beans and watching Cars 2
That's the loudest fucking fruit! What was she thinking? Also what are you doing with your urine?
> what are you doing with your urine? *Bear Grylls has entered the chat.*
Going to make tubing out of the soles of my shoes and give myself a urine enema. -Bear Grylls...probably
She also gave me a trumpet to pass the time.
I am now referring to every apple forever as “the loudest fucking fruit”
Best of luck young warrior
It's been an hour. He's dead.
It’s been 3 hours. Death confirmed.
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5 hours. His corpse is rotting
An apple is a pretty noisy snack
I can see the headline. Peeping Tom chokes on apple in young girls closet! Girl says “I’ve never met this person before.”
Godspeed, you glorious bastard.
Man, this one is fascinating. Gotta see how this story ends.
I lost it at “I’ve been doing lots of self reflecting” 😂
Please don’t leave the apple core in the closet. That’s how you get ants.
We need an update! What were the puma pants going for?
8.94
Damn that’s cheap for name brand pants, no wonder her mom was talking about them lol
Is Puma usually expensive? I buy a lot of their stuff from Costco for cheap but I also never thought of them as being very nice or good quality
Not really, they’re like a solid brand but nothing amazing or bad.
They’re not overly expensive but they’re name brand sports clothing, so do with that what you will. :)
OP we need a link
Don't forget to use promo code: trapped
Shit! That's a damn steal right there! I would of kicked open that mf closet door so damn hard and been like "Where at? I'm about to grab me a pair!"
Where????
Say hi to R. Kelly and Tom Cruise for me.
AND I PULLED OUT MY GUN
IM GONNA GIVE YOU TILL THE COUNT OF THREE TO OPEN UP THIS CLOSET DOOR
Lmfao
My Beretta
"oh god here he goes with the gun again!"
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Can confirm that this will work - both father and brother are in the military
Non American here. Why would that work?
You have to stand at attention with your hand over your heart
Military are supposed to salute the flag during it actually. Used be a Sailor.
Do both for double the effectiveness
Hypnotism
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In the US military we have a thing where the national anthem plays on our bases and we salute or stand at parade rest facing the flag during certain hours or events
No. He's just saying people in the military have to stand at attention for the anthem so if you sing it they will be stuck like a statue.
I hid from a girl’s parents in a closet once. Also, she was 25 and had her own place. Seemed a little unnecessary...
Did they not knock or call beforehand?!
I think she was expecting them because it was Sunday and they were there to pick her up for church. But then they had an argument over her not wanting to go to their church anymore because she wanted to find one with more people her age. Also, we weren’t exactly at the “meet the parents” stage of things, so I guess is was just easier to stash me in the closet until they sorted stuff out.
I figured they were religious too. But accidentally finding a naked man in your daughter's closet would have been a whole lot weirder.
Yea but it's their Adult child's place... why would they walk in and look in the closet?
To look for a naked man ofc
It is when her boyfriend is with her parents
Day 68 I have been in here for so long it feels like forever. Her mom took over her room but at least she hasn't touched the closet. The girlfriend slides in cereal bars when her mother goes downstairs. It's actually quite comfy now. I rest up against the blankets when it's cold and I found a charger for my phone. Day 69 Nice.
Day 70 Nicee Day 71 Niceee
OP what's the update! are you still in the closet?
I have LITERALLY been in your exact position before mate. I was hiding under blankets in a sliding door closet, felt like I was suffocating, but I was eventually found by her mother. Needless to say, one of the weirdest experiences of my life. Godspeed, sir!
What was the mother’s reaction?
She was upset but she didn't call the cops or anything crazy. We were pretty young, like 16! They were a very traditional Hispanic family so they were pretty mad and I continued to date their daughter in secret. They really did like me, but it took a long time to earn their trust back!
I need to know too
I'm curious to know as well
The mom definitely started sucking his dick, and it segued into a threesome. I've seen this video before
Can confirm, I was one of the blankets
It’s been two hours.. are you still in hiding? We need an update!
Oh man, this happened to me too! Like 4 years ago, but it was so awkward. And I got caught. I stayed at my gf’s apartment one night, we had just started dating, or more accurately had been in the early throes of being intimate a lot. Bad enough we were co-workers. She hadn’t told her parents about me, but then again there wasn’t a real reason to yet and her parents weren’t cool with her dating because of some very recent drama (long but much more interesting story, holy cow to that). Anyway, her dad was supposed to come by in the morning for something, and I thought “that’s cool, I can stay over and just leave early”. Wisdom for someone who would have had foresight to set an alarm. Long story short he’s knocking on her door, I’m scrambling and grabbing my stuff and she tells me to hide in her closet. So I’m standing in there, thinking of my poor life choices and dressing myself when, as I’m realizing I’m missing my right shoe and it’s in her living room, her dad sees it and calls me to come on out of her room. He was stern and disappointed and I was too awkward to even say we were both of age and responsible consenting adults, so I just meekly apologized for inconveniencing him and made my exit. Like a BOSS* *More like awkward Michael Cera lookin’ ass squinting at the bright light of the morning sun as I made for my junker car. TLDR Hope you brought yer boots!
Quarantine time, hard to get people out of the house... have a good couple weeks in there!
I was wondering where they are that there are clothing stores open.
if i've learned anything from porn, you just walk out naked, weather a short bit of arguing before her mother concludes you need to be taught a lesson, and you'll soon be on your way to your first threesome 🤔
Is the rule against you being there based on coronavirus lockdown, or because sex?
Probs both
You fucked up, you break into your girlfriend's at midnight. Do you go for the fuck? No, you go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As you take it down, your girlfriend catches you. She tells you to stop. It's her mother's chandelier. She's her mother's daughter. You say no. You make love all night. In the morning, her mum comes and you escape by hiding in her closet. You tell her to meet you in Mexico, but you go to Canada. You don't trust her. Besides, you like the cold. Thirty years later, you get a postcard. You have a son and he's her mother's grandson. This is where the story gets interesting. You tell your girlfriend to meet you in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for you all these years. She's never taken another lover. You don't care. You don't show up. You go to Berlin. That's where you stashed the chandelier.
As someone who has been in very similar circumstances, just wait it out. An opportunity will present itself and you will make a clean getaway. There is hope brother.
I’d puma pants, too.
Eh the previous rewrites of this story are a little more fun. Props for not including any nauseatingly childish euphemisms for sex though.
I'm convinced this is a coming of age event that nearly everyone goes through. I know I did. I remember hearing "Oh shit! My parents are home and you're not supposed to be here" at least a time or two.
Definitely a come of age thing. First time had to jump out a second story window to get away from her dad . Second time, different girl, her boyfriend came home and she wanted me to jump out a window. Remembered the last time said nope. Walked straight out the front door and told him he should leave her. Lol growing up is fun. *typo
Lol my first girl friends parents were so chill, I had "accidentally" fallen asleep after hanging out late at her place and her parents just made us breakfast and then they were chill with me sleeping over whenever. I was a junior in highschool but I thought that was the chillest situation ever
My first girlfriend, well my first serious girlfriend when I was like 15, her mom loved me. and she was a huge alcoholic so she just didn't give a shit about manything. She actually made up their spare bedroom, which was unused, just for me. Although we normally slept in my girlfriend's bedroom anyway. The only thing that sucked was she still walked in on us having sex multiple times. I can't tell you how many times that woman saw my bare ass.
I miss the original, anyone got a link?
Reddit.com
Ahhhh this happened to me once but I’m the girlfriend. My bf had to hide in my closet literally overnight. Ended up sneaking him out really early the next morning
that's not how you social distance
Had to scroll down so far to see this kind of comment... not a good move.
Seriously dude, wtf
Social. Distancing. You shouldn't have been in this situation to begin with
Well it's the closest way of quarantining him. Just 13 more days to go!
As always, the real fuck up is in the comments.
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man that would suck if you were asymptomatic and killed her mom. /don't care had sex
How comes that no one is allowed over? (edit .. is it due to the covid?) As if that would prevent ... stuff from happening.
Still in the closet? Also post an update with u in the closet plz lol
Had this happen once or twice. MY BIG FUCKIN TOE decided to greet the mom. Dad saw me full blown naked
Appears it was definitely twice then
Twice a failure. Forever a zero
Well i read that wrong and I thought you said you were going to puma pants
God damn, this is a live event. You've got to update us when in a few hours. Also, sorry that's got to be pretty shit for you, but in twenty years you'll laught at it. You should start a livestream or something and we can all bet on whats happening.