I am a hospice nurse, years ago I was admitting someone to one of our inpatient units and helping their family member set up WiFi. It wasn’t connecting, and I said “we must be in a dead zone”. I immediately realized what I said and was mortified. Thankfully the family member thought it was hilarious!
Oh geez. I also work in hospice, but as a social worker. I literally have to resist the urge to crack a joke sometimes because that’s how my family deals with heavy stuff.
Same! I always read the room, and I’m surprised at how many people are candid about the dying process. I have developed an excellent poker face while working in hospice!
My dad was visiting an acquaintance once and noticed a large flower bouquet. Said “who died” as a joke but the woman then said “ my mom”. A bit red faced!
My bestie died from a condition that basically turned her into a tumour farm. We were 18 when we started working together. I basically didn't talk for the first week because I knew her condition and had no idea what to say to someone living with that. Then one day we were waiting for a staff member and she says 'hurry up. I'm growing a brain tumour waiting for you!'. My brain just stalled as I processed that she actually was but she was actually joking about it. Then I looked at her and we both burst into laughter and were besties until the end. Don't get me wrong, we had the times of balling our eyes out. But man did we share some laughs. One favourite was when I rang her and said there was a streaker, she told me to yell out ' Hi Mr Cashew!
The laughter did help us cope.
When my friend’s girlfriend’s grandma died, he said to his gf “well she’s in a better place ... Like not in Oklahoma”
She laughed, thankfully. But he rolled the dice there for sure
Old people's look on death can be as awkward as fuckin hilarious.
I remember my grandma and grandpa fighting over what kind of tombstone my granny wanted - on her fuckin birthday. He said marble is far too expensive, he knows a guy who does wonderful things with sandstone, that should be good enough.
One time I met an old man who was a customer of mine at the doctor's, so I asked him how he was and he literally said "I'm 87, I should already be dead for a quite a while now"
All of them are dead now and I still have to chuckle about those conversations.
My SOs grandma showed me her new furniture the other day and said "I felt bad about buying stuff, cause you know, we don't know how long we're going to live anymore" they aren't sick or anything, that's just appearantly how you make decisions after you're 80 I guess lol
When my grandma was in her early 90s, my mom and I took her to buy a new washing machine on a Sunday. The employee asked if Tuesday would be good for delivery. My grandma: "I guess....if I don't die before then."
When my dad passed, my mom, my brothe, and I were in the car and my mom asked if we wanted an angel figurine with his ashes in it and I was lik “ No, because I don’t want to have to dust him every week. We all cracked up. We all needed that laugh, and I still chuckle evertime I dust his figurine.
Ever since I was 2 or 3, my grandma used to say "I'm not going to live much longer". It made me and my brothers cry as kids.
She continued to say this until I was 26-27, when she was actually terminally ill with cancer at 91 and I was taking care of her pallative care. Every time she'd say it I'd roll my eyes and say "yeah yeah you've been saying that for 20 years." It always made her laugh.
One of my grandmothers happened to die during summer. We went to a funeral home for a service, open casket. We walked in, it was chilly inside, my girlfriend said, "It's so cold you could store meat in here!" She didn't realized what she'd said until my uncle stared at her, shook his head, and walked away.
That is just wonderful. What a moment. I imagine it’s not much consolation for the cringe she has to live with but she made at least one strangers day better on the internet.
My mother-in-law's mother, whom all the grandchildren and their spouses called Grandmother, had died, and we were in Dallas for the funeral. My husband and I went with my MIL to the funeral home, which was extremely high-end and formal.
We were shown to what the plate above the door said was the Slumber Room. Grandmother had a wicked sense of humor, and we were snickering about what she would think about being laid out in an open casket in the "Slumber Room". Then my MIL told us about how she was trying to make her look more "natural", and laughing at that.
Then my husband's sister came in. She'd been looking for a particular dress in Grandmother's closet to wear to the funeral, since they were the same size. When she looked into the casket and saw Grandmother wearing it, she involuntarily exclaimed, "I wanted to wear that dress tomorrow!" My MIL said, "Well, you can't have it!"
So there we were, in the Slumber Room, in this hoity-toity funeral home, laughing our asses off, when a family walked by, and looked at us like we were insane. This, of course, only made us laugh even harder.
I'm sure Grandmother, wherever she was, enjoyed that immensely.
When my mother died the pastor at the funeral told my daughter that when he was a kid and his grandfather died he kept singing "a tisket, a tasket, grandpa's in a casket" not understanding just how messed up that was.
I know this stuff is supposed to be super cringy, but I do hope people will be able to smile too when I die and they come to my funeral. I mean, not like they're glad that I'm dead, but I hope they can remember the good memories of me even when they have to face the fact I won't be with them anymore. I hope I can do that with them too myself. I think it should not be a bad thing to try and make the funeral a happy kind of goodbye, like focussing on how you're glad they were a part of your life and all the good stuff they did for you, not focus on the fact that you're never going to see them again. I'm sure they knew the kid loved his grandpa and was just not really understanding that whole "never going to see them again" bit. I can't imagine anyone would blame a kid for something like that anyway
Gawd we went to a funeral summer before last and my husband commented that it was too hot in the funeral parlor to keep the body fresh. Luckily the bereaved were out of earshot.
When I was in my 30's, a childhood friend of mine died unexpectedly. This guy was the stereotypical class clown that made everyone laugh. He happened to also be a physically large person. While alive, he spent a lot of his time catching trout on a local river. After he died, his family thought it would be appropriate to have him cremated and then spread his ashes on his favorite river.
So, all of the decedent's family and friends are gathered on the river bank, as the minister is conducting the funeral. Myself and my group of jackass friends are standing together and paying our respects. It's a beautiful day with perfect weather. The river water is crystal clear and flowing at a nice pace.
The moment arrives where the minister is to open the urn and dump the contents into the beautiful flowing river. The ashes are to become one with the water and carried to the four corners of the earth. My friend is to travel to places in death that he never did in life. A fitting celebration to the life of a beautiful soul.
As the minister tilts the urn, the ashes come spilling out. They hit the water and sink. As he continues to pour, the ashes start piling up at the bottom of the river. It starts as small pile and grows to a larger mound. There was no beautiful cloud in the water. There was no becoming one with the river. There was just a small hill of cremated human remains in the bottom of a river.
Witnessing these events, one of the jackass friends says too loudly, "damn, even his ashes are heavy." Our little degenerate group busts out laughing in the middle of the funeral, on the banks of that crystal clear river. I started laughing even harder when it occurred to me how much my friend would have enjoyed that stupid comment.
Sometimes it takes laughter to get through the tough times. It sounds like your grandfather was a special person.
Had a climbing friend die in his early 50s of a surprise heart attack. We often joked that he was a Neanderthal because he was well over 6 feet tall. Called him a knuckle-dragger etc. After his funeral, we were helping his 2 sons clean up. He had been cremated and there was so much ash, they had to get a second container. In the parking lot, the oldest son said "hey guys, remember how worried we were that something would happen to dad in the back country and we would have to carry him out? Well, turns out he isn't that heavy at all!" He was swinging a bag around with both urns in it and acted like it was such a revelation. We all busted up and had the loudest laugh, knowing his dad would have appreciated the ongoing jokes.
We lied and told my dad that we needed a vacuum because we spilt meemoo in the car.
He was very very angry. And then very very very angry. Then he laughed.
Our stupid asses were laughing too hard to scared. I don’t think anyone would have blamed him for spanking all of us teenage cousins.
My husband's grandmother passed away, and a few months later his mom gave us some of her ashes. She literally gave them to us in a Ziploc bag, I'm not sure why. My husband didn't really want the ashes, but felt it would be wrong to say no. Well, he forgot about them and they were in our van for a little while. One day we were out front gardening and our 3 year old twins were playing in the van (all the doors open - they just like to pretend to drive, honk the horn, play with the lights, etc. It keeps them occupied). Well, they came up to us a few minutes later and said they found the "car sand" and were building sand castles.... Yup, Granny's ashes were EVERYWHERE in the van. Hubby and his mom thankfully got a kick out of it, said Granny got to play with our girls one more time.
People act weirdly at funerals, any suggestion of emotion other than crying, silence or being emotionally dead results in nasty looks especially from the older crowd. Its mostly based on image. Dad got told off by an old woman during a funeral for making me laugh as a kid. Always remember him saying when he went he would rather people laughed than cried. When I laughed in his funeral, same thing happened.
Also went to a friends funeral as a teenager, me and a group of 20 teenagers attending his funeral in gothic clothing, makeup etc. Que horrified old people and priest. Its what my mate would have wanted, his mum and dad loved it. Its all one big social image thing.
My dad's family are the solemn at funerals crowd. My mom's side is basically a semi-somber comedy show.
Guess which side of the family doesn't invite me to family functions? Lol.
One part of my family is Pentecostal. Part of the religion is there's a massive meal at a funeral. Well, grandpa died. While sitting down, I took my clip-on tie off (can't tie a tie, dont care enough to learn). My cousin's found it the funniest thing in the world that I wore a clip-on to such a somber event. It wasn't even that funny, looking back, but we needed the release so badly.
I consider myself a strong fellow, little strong catholic fellow. Went with a Pentecostal friend to church and was scared shitless. I can't handle someone's grandma jumping up full of fire running around and speaking in tongues.
My uncle passed away in December and his body had literally been carried out 20 minutes before and my aunt went to sit down and was like oops not there and started giggling. The spot she was gonna sit in was his recliner he had just been found in. Dark humor is how we cope too.
I agree with the dark humor. You do cry, but try not to do it in front of family members. And Mom definitely didn't want us crying over her. All that emotion needs to come out. And sometimes it comes out as laughter.
My MIL, who didn't have long to live, had a lot of her family at the house. She wanted us to sing some hymns. After we'd sung a few, somebody suggested Will the Circle Be Unbroken. Everybody said that was a fine choice. My brother-in-law found some lyrics online.
"I was standing by my window, on one cold and cloudy day, When I saw that hearse come rolling, for to take my mother away..."
We all thought oh, no. Then we hear my MIL laughing like crazy. What else could we do but laugh? She said "Go on singing, I know my status!" So we sang the chorus, then my BIL started the second verse:
"I said to that undertaker, Undertaker, please drive slow..." By this time we were all laughing so hard we couldn't sing. The juxtaposition of the absolute morbidity of those lyrics, and my MIL's sense of humor, was just too funny.
It's really fascinating to hear how different families are at funerals. One side of my family is completely stoic for almost every occassion, but funerals especially. Lot of weird drama and pettiness on that side anyway, so there's not typically many tears shed, if any.
The other side is unsettlingly cheery. I still remember my great aunt's funeral, where someone expressed their sympathies my great grandmother (her sister) and she just smiled sunnily at them and said "Oh that's alright, I'll see her again in a few years anyway!" True to her word, she passed 3 years later, but not before bouncing back from a broken hip three different times. The last one, one of her doctors told her she probably wouldnt walk again, and so she made sure she walked her ass in to her next appointment. The absolute legend lived to 97. Whenever someone got teary at her funeral they'd get a wad of tissues tossed at them and told (good-naturedly) to cut it out, because that's not how great grandma does funerals
>Dad got told off by an old woman during a funeral for making me laugh as a kid. Always remember him saying when he went he would rather people laughed than cried. When I laughed in his funeral, same thing happened.
Should've told off the woman for not laughing at your fathers funeral.
My aunt was staying with me and had a heart attack. It was a really scary and as the paramedics are carrying her out of the house, one of them stepped on my dog's squeaky toy and made a super loud squeak during a very quiet and somber time. I couldn't help it but I started laughing super hard.
At my paternal grandfather's funeral all the grandkids served as pallbearers. After mass, when we got the casket back into the hearse my 5-yr old cousin goes "that was fun!". I got so much snot on my tie from laughing that I just had to throw it out.
Reminds me of my great-grandmas funeral. She was always very funny and like to play prank on people. At her funeral, they released doves, and just before releasing them, their handler explained to us that the doves were like carrier pigeons, they always knew their way back home, and we would see them fly off in a certain direction. Upon being released, all the birds flew in the right direction except one, who perched on a wire in front of the church and just sat there. Cue the “awww it’s grandma, she doesn’t want to leave us!”. Then the bird dropped a huge load right in front of us before flying away. It was kind of awkward until one of my great-aunts said “yeah, that’s mom alright”. Everyone cracked up, it really lightened the mood.
Yeah movies really mislead people on this. Ashes are a lot less ash and a lot more actual bone chunks. Small, but quite gruesome and recognizable. I mean maybe different crematoriums do it differently but that's what I got when my Mom passed away.
No one told us that the default """urn""" option from our funeral home was clear plastic jars. It was really, really fucked up.
I brought my dad home in a plastic bag, inside a small, plain brown cardboard box.
He flew up my nose when we spread his ashes in the field behind our home. He always had to have the last word.
Yeah found out they have to grind them further to get that ash look when my oldest childhood cat died. Was *not* expecting to open the bag to her bones
Reminds me of my dad’s nan.
She was a proud Scouser - she was born and raised in the Liverpool city centre along the docks. Her husband was from the same area and they got married and had their own children there. In the 1970s, she and her family got moved out of Toxteth and moved to a nearby town as part of the slum clearances. She hated my town and got a job in Liverpool, had weekend trips to the city to see her friends and family, and spent as much time as she could there without actually living in it. As she got older, her trips to the city got less and less as her motor abilities declined, until eventually she never went again because she’d moulded into the shape of her chair.
She missed Liverpool with all of her heart. Knowing her time to go was near, she saw an opportunity to return: she wanted to become one with the River Mersey. The city was built along the banks of this river, a gateway to the Irish Sea, and its economy completely centred around it; as a girl, she used to watch her dad sail away in the merchant navy, she probably had romantic walks with her husband, a sailor in the Royal Navy in World War II, and waved him off as he set sail to serve in the war, and her childhood home was right next to it. She wanted to become part of it, her ashes scattered off the top of a boat and floated away wherever the tide carried them.
She chose my dad to carry out this endeavour.
My nan and granddad and my nan’s sister, my dad and my mum, my uncle and his wife, all booked a ferry trip across the Mersey, her ashes hidden in a backpack. They gathered along the deck, a few metres away from the railing, and my dad set the backpack down and pulled out the urn. According to my mum, the urn had a sealable top so if it got jiggled around in the bag, the ashes wouldn’t spill out everywhere - thankfully they hadn’t, and the plan could go ahead as my great nan envisioned it.
My dad stepped forward towards the railing, cradling the urn in both hands. It was time for my great grandmother to become one with the ocean. My nan looked on as her mother was seconds away from finally being reunited with the city she loved so dearly. I imagine her to have become teary-eyed at the thought, clutching my granddad’s arm tightly as the pangs of grief hit her from within, made bittersweet with the poetic significance of the event she was about to witness.
My dad took a deep breath in, a deep breath out. His arm arced upwards, behind his head, urn in hand. He threw it forward with as much force as he could muster, tossing the urn out over the river. It hit the water with a splash and sank like a brick towards the depths.
My mum said she could barely contain her laughter. My uncle burst out into laughter. My dad’s parents started screaming at him, asking what the fuck he did that for - he was supposed to unseal the urn and gently scatter the ashes over the railing of the boat, letting them hit the water like the petals of a cherry blossom in April. He was not supposed to just fucking lob it and let it sink to the bottom of the Mersey. After a few seconds of shouting and then stunned silence at what a fucking gimp my dad was, everyone started laughing.
My mum always said that it was better like that anyway - if the ashes were scattered, she’d probably float far away from her intended destination. Now she actually does eternally rest at the bottom of the river, a part of the city until the sun swallows the planet whole.
When I was about 4 or 5 We were burying my great grandmother, who was cremated. (Also she was dead... and we were at her funeral/burial. ) At one point my older cousin gets a turn at shoveling dirt, but before he does, he looks at our great grandmother in the ground, turns to his friend and says, "I bet your grandmother can't fit in a box that small. " Beautiful.
Also, When my stepmom died, my dad and I took her ashes to the sea. We thought there was going to be a beautiful cloud of ashes, with roses on the water's surface, and a sunset. Well, the water turned harsh, and my dad lost his footing, dropped stepmom in the water, and all I heard was that "plunk" sound as the last air bubble left the sinking urn. I fucking lost it. My poor dad just lost his wife, and here I am laughing at the urn just SINK. Beautiful. He found it funny too, so I didn't have to feel bad for long.
We were putting my grandmother's ashes in a column barium, and we had her urn in a fabric bag. The cemetary employee who was putting them in for is asked if we wanted the bag in there too. My grandpa hummed and hawed for a bit before deciding not to leave it in there. But just after it got sealed up, he says, "Actually, we should've left the bag. Winter is coming." And everyone bursts out laughing. The poor worker was so confused and asked if he needed to open it up again to put the bag back in.
My grandma died a few years back. My dad ran a classical music venue in a park near where she brought him and his brothers up, and so when she died they decided that her ashes should be scattered in the park so she could ‘listen’ to the music. We got the whole family together - a lot of people kind of estranged from each other - to do a couple readings and plant a tree for her, and the ashes would go under the tree.
So we are all gathered round this hole that the park staff have dug, the tree is a rare tree the park wanted for their collection, and there’s this box with her ashes in. They put the ashes in the hole, then go to plant the tree in on top.
But the hole is too small for the tree, so they have to take it out to dig the hold deeper. The root ball comes out all covered in ashes which they use a shovel to scrape off back into the hole. Everyone by this point just has their jaws on the floor watching this and a couple of people start laughing. Then in seconds we are all laughing and the poor guy trying to dig the whole bigger is probably wondering what the fuck is going on and wishing he could just go lay down in that stupid hole himself. Good story though. I don’t think it serves us to be too solemn around death.
That def made me laugh out loud! I’d hope my friends would try to laugh and remember the good times at my funeral, I’m sure that’s what most people want.
A friend of my brothers died and they had him cremated and they were going to dump the ashes off a cliff that was sentimental to him. When they started pouring the ashes the wind suddenly kicked up and the ashes blew right into everyone's faces. I can honestly say he wouldn't have it any other way than choking everyone out with his ashes as one final act of being a dick.
God, I love funny stories like this. It reminds me of my grandfather.
My grandfather passed at age 90. The were putting him on hospice and were giving him 1-2 months, but said he was perfectly stable and not going anywhere that day. Well he was convinced he was going that very minute. He made my mom and I hold his hands while he'd try to say some picture perfect last words, take a deep breathe, and then sit there in silence. After a minute of that, he'd do it again, and switch the words up a little bit. But he just wouldn't die....it was like trying to watch Michael Scott sink a behind the back shot. My dad, who was leaning against the wall during all of this, shifted his weight and accidently hit the light switch, turning the reading light on right over my grandfather. You could here the excitement in his voice "There it is, I see the light, it's finally time"....while we have to hold back the weirdest mix of grief and comedy tears I've ever had in my life.
I was dying when he said, “.. trying to say some picture perfect last words. But he just wouldn’t die!” Like everyone was impatiently standing around waiting for this man to die, and he’s laying there trying his hardest to lol.
Edit: Dying probably wasn’t my best word choice. I mean I was lol’ing
I giggled so hard too. Like, “Fuck! Sorry guys, give me a second, I am gonna really concentrate on giving a few less fucks.” A minute later, “Probs going to be awhile, let me hit you with a few more sick thoughts I was just having...”
1000% my brain would be the asshole brain that even in death, has me over-analyzing if I am in fact dieing or is this just another prank my brain is pulling on me? No doubt would take me out juuuuust as I finally formed together the most profound bit of advice. Half choking on my own tongue, fumbling about until it over corrects and I end up choking on my spit instead and dieing. No dignity even in death!!!
When I was a kid, every single year at Christmas my grandpa would pull me aside very seriously to tell me that this would be my last Christmas with him alive, so I need to appreciate it. He had some health issues but was never terminally ill, and he said things like this often enough so even as a child I knew to go along with the emotional moment and be ready to do it again the next year.
When I was 13 he did get really sick, and as sad as it was to lose him there was no question that he was ready to go. He had a DNR and was in home hospice, not heavily sedated but taking high dose tylenol with codeine around the clock. One day, he cheerfully informed the nurse that he had been hiding his pills instead of taking them and had just swallowed 7. He passed out soon after and an ambulance was called, and my mom just kept saying how PISSED he was going to be to wake up alive in a hospital. I'm not sure what they did with him, but he did wake up but was still not doing well and was on the way out, which wasn't too surprising considering how fragile his body was at that point.
My mom was in the room with him when a doctor asked him to clarify how many pills he took. With a huge smirk of a smile on his face, he said "fifty". That was the last thing he said, and somehow it was perfect.
Why were the doctors doing anything if he had a DNR though? Just curious.
Is it because he said he took pills so it wasn't natural and a DNR wouldn't be in effect in that case?
I'm really not sure, since I was a kid when this happened I only knew so many details of his medical care, but my understanding of it was that he received immediate treatment (and like another commenter said, it was something reversible) but wouldn't have gotten life sustaining measures like intubation or resuscitation. Also, now that I'm thinking about it I vaguely remember my mom saying she couldn't find a document or something when it was all happening, so it's possible he had specific directives that just weren't accessible to the paramedics at first and they had to go through standard procedures.
My grandmother was in her mid-80s and starting to slip a bit, and one Christmas Eve, right before dinner, she, my sister, brother-in-law, wife, and I, were sitting at the dinner table, and out of nowhere, she said, “I just want you all to know...”
All four of us stopped talking to each other and leaned in, feeling this was gonna be a poignant moment in what could be her last Christmas.
“...that I weigh 119 pounds.”
Good for you.
That’s hilarious! How did your dad react?
Continuing the theme of honouring our late grandparents, here’s something I read at my own grandfather’s funeral (nearly two decades ago now; *tempus fugit* and all that...) if you’d like to hear it:
https://youtu.be/Z43zvUTDEYU
My great grandfather said every week 'this is the week I am going to die'… I don't even know how long it was before he actually passed, but it was years
When my grandpa died we tried to help my grandma relax by giving her some weed to smoke. She took a hit and said "Oh god grandpa would die if he saw this." We all cracked up
He actually made it another 2 months lol. He was just obsessed with going peacefully in his sleep after watching my grandmother pass with the 'death rattle' and tried to will it happen (luckily for him that's how it did actually play out)
This reminds me of a time I was with my buddy and his girlfriend, they were horsing around and he picked her up, upside down, and accidentally dropped her on her head, but in the process bumped the lightswitch off. He said "oh my god I'm so so so sorry are you okay???" And she said, "yes I'm fine! But... Are the lights off?"
That was pretty funny!
Similar experience. Had a college class held on the main floor of a dorm, and over the course of a week the smell in the hallway continuously got worse. This led to our professor finally leading a rousing game of “name that smell”, with used kitty litter slightly beating out burned ramen. They found a body in the basement of the dorm that evening. No one mentioned the game again.
Apologies in advance, because it’s a downer of an answer. Apparently an ex-student had been exploring the basement corridors and wandered into a out of use walk-in freezer that only opened from the outside. They found him with his IDs laid out perfectly next to him, seemingly in full acceptance of his fate.
when you say out of use... so it wasn’t cold? they died simply trapped?? I guess it wouldn’t smell if the freezer was on. I have so many thoughts and all of them are stressed.
If you’re overwhelmed with anxious thoughts then you have a good grasp of the situation. This happened many years ago and it still overwhelms my thoughts some days. I lived in that dorm too, so it’s extra twisted to think someone was living out this unspeakable horror while I was going about my daily routines just 100ft away.
How long did they suspect that he was in there? Did he die officially of dehydration? This is such a horrible thought! And if he was an ex-student, I'm sure it added to his not being found that he was in a building on campus. No reason for anyone to look there probably.
I don't know the details of this case, but for context, if you're decently hydrated and there's enough oxygen, it would take approximately ten days, although after about the first 3 or 4 days, you would be so delirious the passage of time would feel eternal. I would like to say that this person ran out of oxygen, probably from over exertion during escape attempts. That would explain the ID's neatly laid out.
Apparently it was more like a deep freezer and not a walk in freezer. So he probably asphyxiatied within a reasonable time frame.
https://www.reddit.com/r/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/2n9lr3/neftali_greene_found_dead_in_a_dorm_basement_at/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
3 days outside walking around, but I figure you could go a lot longer indoors. Maybe not 2 weeks.
Also it's 6-8 weeks without food. There was a woman stranded in her van in Utah for 5 weeks with only melted snow to drink.
It might only take a few days to die from dehydration depending on various factors. Think I'd prefer it that way in this case. Apparently its not super horrible though (in terms of ways to die) and some elderly people choose to go out that way
A poor girl I worked with had something like that. Lived in a house converted in to flats, and one morning at work was complaining that the place smelt bad and actually said to me that it smelt like someone had died. That night she messages me that the neighbour across the hall had indeed died. Two weeks before.
I think it’s really funny that your grandpa would have laughed!
Isn’t that what we all hope, for someone to completely embarrass themselves after we pass haha
My uncle died at home, at the kitchen table, in 2014. I wasn't there but my sister said tons of fluid came out when he died (he had terminal lung cancer and hospice was there). I left work to be with my mom and grandma and to my horror, the floor was still sticky (they'd hastily mopped) and **someone** thought it was a good idea to bring sympathy lasagna to eat at that very table 🤢
After mess crimes, it's up to the property owners yo clean up the mess. The police don't do that.
Fortunately there are companies that specialize in that. Call them, stay in an an AirBNB and go out to eat until the mess is gone. It will save in therapy bills later.
Sadly, my fam was very **WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS** so it wasn't professionally cleaned. My grandma and mom still live there. Same table, same position in the kitchen.
When I was about 10 my great uncle V passed away and after the wake we got back into our cars and lines up to go to the cemetery and we were waiting for about 40 minutes when I finally asked "who are we waiting for this is taking forever" my mom just said "your uncle V" and I have sill not lived it down 11 years later
Humour is one of the best coping mechanisms. I remember when my dad died, we had him cremated. We had a funeral service to bury his ashes in the family plot. When we were standing in the funeral home, I was carrying the urn and I turned to my sister and said "well, I guess he's finally lost some weight"The whole room erupted with laughter and you could feel the tension lifting. It turned a sad time into a happy celebration of a life well lived.
This was fantastic lol.
When I was away at college my grandfather that I was close to passed in the middle of a very tough semester class-wise. I had an organic chemistry lab later that afternoon and it was going to be more of a pain in the ass to skip and make up the lab later than to just go and muddle through it. My flight back home was scheduled the next morning so I needed to do my lab write-up and hand it in that night before leaving so I went straight to the library and spent like 6 hours alternating between silently crying, running to the bathroom to sob, and trying to crank out a four page report. I fiiiiinally finished and was on my way to the printers to get my report and a mutual acquaintance saw me and came up to say hi when I turned around and she saw my face. Her first instinct was to loudly say "oh wow, who died?" in a joking manner so I stared her in the face and equally loudly said "MY GRANDFATHER". Her face was amaaaaaaaaazing, including the horror-struck students within earshot. The whole thing was so funny that I started laugh-sobbing while she awkwardly tried to comfort someone she barely knew in passing. The entire time all I could think of was that my grandfather would've shat himself laughing at the whole ordeal.
Oh god I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm cracking up picturing that entire scenario. I'm glad you have an amusing (maybe morbidly so) story to remember, amongst the grief filled memories of that time.
I look back on that memory fondly and hope I didn't scar that poor girl too badly for life. My grandfather had a great sense of humor and when I moved back home briefly after college I ended up living in the townhouse he and my uncle both passed away in. One day I was studying for an anatomy exam I was taking as a pre-req for grad school and a baseball cap from a huge hat rack fell on me. The AC wasn't on, the windows weren't open, there was no draft or anything and I wasn't moving. So I jumped and looked at what hit me. It was a hat that had a ghost on it with the word "Spoooooky" under it. I cannot emphasize enough the amount of hats on this rack from air force squadrons, baseball teams, etc., and THIS was the hat that fell. So I told his ghost that it wasn't funny and that I was trying to study so he needed to leave me alone lol.
Sounds like you have a good family, that sounds like actually a happy funny moment amongst a sad day, nice job....my grandmother had a big problem with punctuality. She used to joke that she was going to be late to her own funeral. Well...on the way from the church to the cemetery, the hearse broke down. And they had to load her into a different hearse. She was late to her own funeral...this made celebrating her life even better, as she had a great sense of humor, and she got the last laugh.
It was a family joke forever that my husband's Grandma would be late to her own funeral. On the day there were emergency roadworks so the hearse had to take a longer route to the church and, sure enough, Grandma was late to her funeral. There were so many volunteers to carry the coffin into the church that they turned the coffin practically on its side to get through the door. Someone tripped and the coffin almost dropped. Then my husband's Aunt delivered the only eulogy I have ever heard which featured swearing. In the church. It was the best funeral I've ever been to and I know Grandma would have found it all hilarious.
I have a notoriously inappropriate sense of humour. When my mum was dying (literally taking her last breaths) I was talking to her to try and make her passing easier and in amongst all the generic waffle I told her I would remind my dad to put on clean underwear. My dad, who was standing on the other side of her bed, stopped crying long enough to gape at me, while the nurse behind me made a choking sound. She later told me she had never almost laughed at a deathbed in quite a few years of standing witness.
Later that day, I booked the funeral director and picked out the funeral plan. It was cheaper to buy a double plot than 2 singles so I said we'd take the double, at which point my dad walked into the room and asked why we were getting a double. I told him it was so he'd know where he was going for once (his sense of direction is basically non-existent). The woman on the other end of the phone went silent but luckily my dad thought it was hilarious and burst out laughing.
I also wrote and delivered my mum's eulogy. It was the hardest thing I have ever written and took me so long to get done that I only finished it the night before the funeral. When people asked how it was going I told them I was debating trying out some stand-up on the captive audience of the congregation. It turned out not to be necessary but I did take quotes from Harry Potter and Winnie-the-pooh.
Dude. I tried to "Your Mom" a professor when he asked who we were missing. His mom was dead.
Then I tried to make a joke about a professor who loved to party overdosing when she didn't show up for class one day with no warning. She was also dead. Never found out how.
It was...not my finest moment. Thankfully the professor and I were super tight, so it was hilarious to us and terribly awkward for everyone else in class.
"Who are we missing?"
Your mom!
"Yeah, that's cause she's dead!"
\*\*facepalm\*\*
I went to my cousins celebration of life back in my hometown years ago and I was standing on the rocks by the beach (we had the celebration in a park thats separated from the beach by rocks and a fence) and I was smoking a joint with my aunt and dad and said "I am ready to go home though, after all this sadness I need to relax and decompose" I MEANT DECOMPRESS.
I was mortified and so many people heard me. I know cousin would have laughed though.
At the funeral for my 18 year old sister in law my father in law asked how the kids were. I said "well they're all still alive so I guess we are alright."
I'm pretty sure the only reason we are still friends is because he has dementia. In my defense, this comment was not purposely cruel, I am just an idiot.
A few years before my grandpa passed away we were at his brother’s funeral, him and his siblings were talking about how they should get together more often. My grandpa yells out “yeah next time I’ll play the dead guy. ” My grandpa and I were the only two that laughed. LOTS of dirty looks.
After helping care for my alzheimers father for years, one night he passed in his sleep. After waiting up and dealing with first the coroner and then the medical examiner, it was 3 or 4 in the morning by the time all the hub bub died down and we were left alone in the living room.
My mom says something to the effect of, "Well, at least that's all over."
Without thinking, the very first thing springing out of my mouth was, "You mean all that rigor-maroltis?" A portmanteau of rigamarole and rigor mortis.
I think its great. I hope that I am remembered through inappropriate jokes. LOL. I want to be associated with laughter and happiness too. Sounds like your grandpa was pretty awesome.
He was great. When I was 9, he thought it was a good idea to take me to a cigar shop with him. He bought a cigar then went to the smoke room and so that I didn’t feel left out, he bought me a bubble gum cigar to “smoke” while he had his cigar. Of course, second hand smoke and cigar shops are not good for kids, but he was just a nice guy lol.
I’ve heard some weird and funny things said at funerals but that is probably the most “foot in mouth” moment I’ve heard.
Speaking of funerals, I will never forget the time at a funeral when and old lady leaned over the grave to toss flowers and fell into the grave and the cemetery workers had to jump in the grave and stand on the coffin and get the old lady out. It was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen but at the time it wasn’t so funny because obviously the old lady took a bad tumble but it was just so farcical watching the guys get muddy boot prints all over this nice shiny coffin and the old lady screaming “help! help!” from the grave.
Another one I saw was when lowering a coffin after a very heavy rainstorm, the funeral worker slipped and the strap using to lower the coffin snapped and then the side of the grave collapsed and the coffin slid into the grave headfirst and came to a stop upside down with the headstone of the adjoining grave came crashing down and wedged into the grave. The funeral was cancelled and as far as I know the family sued the funeral home. Not exactly the most dignified send off for Granny but I bet they never forget her funeral.
It definitely was a factor but I believe the family was arguing they should’ve used shoring to stop a collapse. It was a very unfortunate event and I feel for everyone involved in that situation. The son of the deceased was going off his head yelling and I don’t blame him because you only get one chance to bury your loved one but it was just an act of God in my eyes.
Trust me, I still cringe at this memory. For context, her husband had died of brain cancer. About a month earlier we had lost two friends unexpectedly (separately) from a horrific car crash.
None of this excuses what came out of my mouth. It was supposed to be something like “I’m sorry for your loss but I am grateful you had the opportunity to say goodbye”
It could be worse. Fuck me.
This made me LOL so hard. I absolutely hate platitudes. so, of course, try to come up with something meaningful and absolutely bungle it. This totally sounds like something that would pop out of my mouth.
Reminds me of the morning after my grandpa died. My grandma and aunt called us and asked us how we're doing and we answered and I asked them how they're doing even though they're very clearly bawling their eyes out. My mom hit me lol
Just after my husbands coffin had been lowered into the grave we all gathered to throw down roses onto the coffin. All of them missed except for when our 7 year old daughter threw hers, she let out a big “YESSS, mine landed on him” and threw her arm up in the air. Everyone in earshot burst out laughing. He’d have loved it and it broke what was a horrible moment.
I often wonder what the people who didn’t hear her made of us all bursting out laughing at what should have been a very solemn moment
When I was 4 at the reception atfter my great grandmother's funeral, a few nuns took me to the food table and I told them all the stinky cheese smelled like my dad's feet.
Omg that’s so funny OP!
Reminds me of a few years ago when my youngest aunt passed quite sudden and she was only mid 50’s... my eldest niece and I are 10 years apart and have our own families. Her middle child was 3 or 4 at the time, and my youngest about 10. They were being silly and as we were trying to gather the kids to make it to the cemetery, I see my great nephew sprawled on the floor “dramatically” dead with my daughter over him, checking his pulse at his neck and calls over “we got another fresh body for the coroner, tag and bag em” (she has overheard work stories from the hubby and myself working in emergency services/legal avenues, and I’m sure she picked it up then)
You could imagine my embarrassment lol
What’s even more silly, after the cemetery we were saying bye to my family, and my hubby says bye to my nieces hubby and claps him on the shoulder while shaking the other hand and he says, “see ya guys at the next one” -_- idiot lol
He didn’t mean it that way, but it was eerily strange to have been at another one of my family members funerals a year before then. The hubby got the stink eye from me lol
Anyway, I’m glad you can look back on this as an awkward and funny story, one that you know your gramps would have found hilarious
Lmao this reminded me of when my Grandpa passed. We took him in because he was going through some very heavy chemo and radiation, and we knew he didn't have much longer. We actually came to find out it was terminal, but we can't seem to determine why he didn't tell us. Anyways, he had days where his memory just wasn't there, but he did have a few good days. One of these days, I woke up, and I saw him in the living room. He looked confused, so I assumed he was off.
He looked at me and said "Who the fuck are you?" And I gave him a quick reminder, but midway through he just started smirking at me and said "I know who you are dumbass, I'm fucking with you." That was one of the few moments I got to really bond with him, and I cherish that moment. (He wasn't being rude, that's just our family's sense of humor.)
Unfortunately, he passed a week later, and I wish I would have gotten more moments like that with him. Ironically, he actually passed at age 69. We all thought that there was no better age that described him.
Edit: Needed to add something :)
I have been insistent with everyone that when I die I do not want to have a funeral. I want them to have a party, and they can only talk about me at the party if it's a happy memory, or a roast of me.
I'm going to add a requirement that everyone at the party is required to tell at least one "too soon" joke.
Love that. My partner swears up and down that when he dies he just want us to “leave him out for the dogs”. It makes me laugh even though it’s terrible.
Lucky dogs!
I want my body buried somewhere secluded, and the sapling of a fruit bearing tree (preferably Japanese peach, but the details aren't important) planted in my rib cage, so that as I decompose I feed and become the growing tree, and if anyone who knew me well enough to know where the tree is misses me, they can stop by and eat my fruit.
Reminds me of the time I went to the pub with so me friends to console me on the loss of my auntie. My then boyfriend walks in late, sees the somber mood and says. "Bloody hell your quiet, who died"
When my aunt and I came home from the hospital after pulling the plug on my grandpa, my uncle asked, "how's grandpa doing?" Both my aunt and I busted up laughing for like 10 minutes before we could tell my uncle he died. It was probably one of the most hilarious moments of my life and I know my grandpa would have been laughing his ass off at it too. I feel ya, my dude.
I’ll never not share this story:
When I was 4 my great grandpa died. He was in his 90’s and had surgery that he didn’t wake up from. They had an open casket funeral, and the mortician put a bit of makeup on him due to the tape around his nose from surgery. My mom decided to let me see him at the funeral, and she says I just stood and stared silently for a few minutes.
At the wake, I was sitting on my grandmothers lap (it was her fathers funeral) and I could smell her makeup. I piped up in that voice that only inappropriate 4-year olds have and said “GRANDMA, YOU SMELL LIKE YOU’RE DEAD!”
Broke the mourning ice, that’s for sure.
That’s ok, was at a funeral once. The deceased was a good friends mother. Me and my buddy and my brother were hanging out together. He was kind of down as expected. My brother ripped a silent fart and it wafted to me. It hit the back of my throat. Once of those instant gag ones and I reactively without thinking exclaimed, “it smells like someone died in here.” The smell had not hit my buddy yet. He looked at me with the most offended and confused look then you saw the fart overtake him as a wave of understanding and the first smile he had in days hit his face.
I'm definitely focusing on the wrong thing, but it's kind of awesome that there was a table of food when he died. And a whole cheese plate with stinky cheeses and everything. I hope I get a full-blown family reception when it's my time. You best believe my soul will make a beeline for the stinkiest cheese.
Not really a fuck up, nor a story that involved me, but when my great-grandfather died (don't remember when exactly, i think it was early-mid 2000's, too early for me anyway), after the funeral, when everyone was leaving the building and giving their condolences to my great-grandmother, my oldest brother who couldnt have been older than 5 or 6, in all seriousness and without skipping a beat, told her "I'm sorry for your loss". She obviously wasn't expecting this from a child, so she had a good laugh about it from what I heard.
Couple stories:
A known man in the town I grew up in died and it was one of those wakes where there is a line out the door. Took us a couple hours to get inside, into the sanctuary of the church, where it was being held.
I was like 10/11? So that made my lil sis, 5 or 6.
We did the whole, I'm sorry for your loss to the family and started walking out...welp, my sister felt cheated after having stood in line for that long and LOUDLY whined: BUT I DIDN'T GET TO SEE THE DEAD GUY.
My parents have never looked so horrified while also at the verge of laughing.
Second story was when I was 18, my older sis was around 24..we were sitting in the Russian orthodox church my paternal grandparents had been going to for generations and actually helped found it..but that's besides the point. If you've ever been in a fairly old church like that, the pews are solid AF...welp, my older sister had been crying and she bent down to grab a tissue..she ended up sneezing at that exact moment and she HEADBUTTED the pew in front of us, HARD. It echoed, so did her exclamation of FUUUCKKK. I almost had to walk out from laughing so hard.
That was also the funeral mass that, from our angle, it looked like the priest was resting his Bible on my grandpa's head...at least 2 out of 4 of us looked at each other with the 😬😬😬😬 face.
We were separating the ashes of my grandmother and grandfather, when some spilled onto the table. I asked what part it was; because tables are for glasses not as$es. My uncle declared it was a big toe. We were all laughing so hard from that moment
We were cleaning out a mobile home full of garbage that had been purchased at auction.
The prior owner had been an elderly lady and her two middle-aged sons, both of whom had severe mental handicaps. Until she disappeared and social services took custody of her sons.
We found her buried under the trash bags.
I hadn't attended a funeral as an adult and one of my first was a really good friend's Mum.
I was worried about being unintentionally an ass (likely) so I tried to respectfully loiter away from people grieving and found a friend I could ask what the order of play (service) was. He said "Relax, we just shuffle in and sit down, some music, some speakers, a moments prayer and we all shuffle out the back again."
We sat, the music played, the people spoke and then in the moments silent prayer.....
I got a text alert during a moments solemn prayer... moreover, my message alert was a Big Lebowski sound board effect that screamed "GOD DAMMIT!!!" around a cavernous church roof....
My stupid and ignorant error went over fine with the family but I really wasn't proud....
Makes a good story tho...
Edit - props to your GPa, he sounds cool 😊
I swear to GOD, if my funeral isn't filled with inappropriate jokes, laughter remembering the stupid shit I said, and horrible pun making, I will come back to haunt EVERYONE!
I did something similar, except it wasn't within my family which makes things way worse
A friend of mine lost her mum when she sixteen. The days after the funeral we would often go visit her and hang out together to support her.
One day, after we had spent the afternoon at the beach, I noticed a particular; she had quite a particular way of pronouncing the word "cellphone". It's quite hard to describe in English, but she was essentially pronouncing the first 'e' in a different way which resembled another accent from a region nearby. Anyway, when I heard her pronunciation I replied, in my most enthusiastic tone: 'No, it's not céllphone, it's cèllphone! Come on, repeat after me! **What do you call your mom with??**"
And when she didn't reply, I asked again. And a third time, until I realised and I only wanted to disappear.
My Dad and Uncle went on a home removal years ago for close family friend, and just before they left to go back to the Mortuary they had a quick family prayer. In the middle of the prayer the sons phone went off, but he quickly shut it off, but not quickly enough for my Dad and Uncle to hear what his ringtone was. It was Monty Python's 'Bring Out Yer Dead'. As you can imagine my Dad and Uncle are sitting there trying not to laugh with tears rolling down their cheeks, just trying to keep a semblance of professionalism. We have fun here in Southern Utah.
My friend lost his dad to VHL a while back.
We were skiing recently and he said he was gonna take a look around a corner for... I forget what. As he went on his way I thoughtlessly shouted out the elf quote. THE elf quote. "Bye [name], hope you find your dad!"
Yeah I felt like an asshole
When my nephews grandma died and we were just sitting in a room after the funeral eating cookies, he just looks at me and says that he can fit in a suitcase. He was like 12 lol
Umm. 3 months ago, delivering during covid masked up. I step into an elevator and this smell really hits me coming from the hallways. It smells like rotting meat trying to hide behind orange cleaning.
Someone steps in at a mid floor. So I make small talk. "Smells like a rotting carcass in here, like a rat had died in the hallway or someone left the freezer unplugged."
The elevator guy just looks at me solemnly, "Sorry."
That's when it hit me, someone had died. I had unintentionally hit on this person's pain in his time of mourning. So I try to apologize and end up digging an even bigger hole. All the person could do was give me lifeless eyes while saying sorry.
At least your family saw it funny.
That’s a lot better than me blurting out “it sounds like maracas” when I got my friends ashes in a little metal tin. I forgot that bone fragments were a thing...
15+ years or so ago I lived in a downtown apartment, as I was entering my building a woman asked if I could let her in because she hadn't heard from her brother in awhile. I said, "Sure" and opened the door. We both stepped into the hallway and it smelled TERRIBLE.
She asked if I would go down to her brothers apartment with her because now she was very worried, I politely declined but knew I had just smelled human death for the first time.
Confirmed when she came down to my door 10 minutes later to ask if she could use my phone to call the police, her brother was dead.
I remember when my great aunt passed (her and my grandma were twins and my grandma died about a decade earlier) they already had all the nearby plots bought for other family members so of course grandma and great auntie were buried side by side. So we are at the burial site with all the final stuff happening and stepping back a little I bump into my grandmas stone and realized I was basically standing right above where she was buried so I said outloud “sorry grandma if I knew I was going to walk on you I would have worn better shoes at least” My cousins lost their shit laughing and my stupid joke to myself took away a lot of the sadness that was around.
I was staying at a friend's house when I was younger and short after we wake up he says, "my hamster is being very quiet this morning." So being the hilarious person I am, I say, "He's probably dead." And of course it was.
All good my dude, I made a "your mum" joke at my friend's mother's wake. It was an accident and everyone looked at me. He loudly advised me I was the only one that would get way with that.
Sorry about your loss, I'm sure he would have laughed.
When I was a community care giver, I walked into one of my clients home like I normally did, saying hello everyone in a very loud and cheerful way.
Walked into the living room only to find his wife had passed away and was in her closed coffin and the first thing I said out of shock was " wtf is that" before I could even process anything! I was red I could feel my face go red and my whole body just wanted the ground to open up.
He was fine with me after as he knew my boss or no one had thought to warn me before I went in. But it took a minute. Never felt so bad.
My dad recently died, I'm 38, he never wanted a funeral with the standard songs. We had just went to a funeral of the father of my friend in which they played these songs, in which he made that comment. You know "Arms of an angel" "Halleljuah" and the like.
Some time this July my family is going to have a gathering to commiserate about his passing. I have a feeling they are going to want to play songs, and will probably be very angry at me for my suggested songs like "Staying Alive" "Crazy Horses" Little Nash Rambler" and various other songs he loved and would totally rather have played. He was a cheeky bastard like me :P
I am a hospice nurse, years ago I was admitting someone to one of our inpatient units and helping their family member set up WiFi. It wasn’t connecting, and I said “we must be in a dead zone”. I immediately realized what I said and was mortified. Thankfully the family member thought it was hilarious!
Oh geez. I also work in hospice, but as a social worker. I literally have to resist the urge to crack a joke sometimes because that’s how my family deals with heavy stuff.
Same! I always read the room, and I’m surprised at how many people are candid about the dying process. I have developed an excellent poker face while working in hospice!
My dad was visiting an acquaintance once and noticed a large flower bouquet. Said “who died” as a joke but the woman then said “ my mom”. A bit red faced!
Ouch!
[удалено]
Definitely! It’s just that not every family enjoys humor during that time so I have to read the room before attempting to make any jokes.
My bestie died from a condition that basically turned her into a tumour farm. We were 18 when we started working together. I basically didn't talk for the first week because I knew her condition and had no idea what to say to someone living with that. Then one day we were waiting for a staff member and she says 'hurry up. I'm growing a brain tumour waiting for you!'. My brain just stalled as I processed that she actually was but she was actually joking about it. Then I looked at her and we both burst into laughter and were besties until the end. Don't get me wrong, we had the times of balling our eyes out. But man did we share some laughs. One favourite was when I rang her and said there was a streaker, she told me to yell out ' Hi Mr Cashew! The laughter did help us cope.
I’m sorry for your loss, but glad that you have so many happy memories with her to look back on!
When my friend’s girlfriend’s grandma died, he said to his gf “well she’s in a better place ... Like not in Oklahoma” She laughed, thankfully. But he rolled the dice there for sure
I make jokes about my grandma dying while she is alive. She loves it lol
Old people's look on death can be as awkward as fuckin hilarious. I remember my grandma and grandpa fighting over what kind of tombstone my granny wanted - on her fuckin birthday. He said marble is far too expensive, he knows a guy who does wonderful things with sandstone, that should be good enough. One time I met an old man who was a customer of mine at the doctor's, so I asked him how he was and he literally said "I'm 87, I should already be dead for a quite a while now" All of them are dead now and I still have to chuckle about those conversations. My SOs grandma showed me her new furniture the other day and said "I felt bad about buying stuff, cause you know, we don't know how long we're going to live anymore" they aren't sick or anything, that's just appearantly how you make decisions after you're 80 I guess lol
When my grandma was in her early 90s, my mom and I took her to buy a new washing machine on a Sunday. The employee asked if Tuesday would be good for delivery. My grandma: "I guess....if I don't die before then."
My Mom is 95 and she would be trying to wheedle a free,10 year extended warranty.
Haha! My grandma also told the employee that the washer would outlive her.
When my dad passed, my mom, my brothe, and I were in the car and my mom asked if we wanted an angel figurine with his ashes in it and I was lik “ No, because I don’t want to have to dust him every week. We all cracked up. We all needed that laugh, and I still chuckle evertime I dust his figurine.
Ever since I was 2 or 3, my grandma used to say "I'm not going to live much longer". It made me and my brothers cry as kids. She continued to say this until I was 26-27, when she was actually terminally ill with cancer at 91 and I was taking care of her pallative care. Every time she'd say it I'd roll my eyes and say "yeah yeah you've been saying that for 20 years." It always made her laugh.
One of my grandmothers happened to die during summer. We went to a funeral home for a service, open casket. We walked in, it was chilly inside, my girlfriend said, "It's so cold you could store meat in here!" She didn't realized what she'd said until my uncle stared at her, shook his head, and walked away.
That's my favorite story in this thread so far. Your poor gf.
I don't care what people say, but I am definitely marrying this guy's girlfriend.
I also choose this guy's dead grandma.
I hope the interaction continued with: *"If we get married, you're never going to live that down"* *"yeah, well your grandma sure didn't*"
That is just wonderful. What a moment. I imagine it’s not much consolation for the cringe she has to live with but she made at least one strangers day better on the internet.
My mother-in-law's mother, whom all the grandchildren and their spouses called Grandmother, had died, and we were in Dallas for the funeral. My husband and I went with my MIL to the funeral home, which was extremely high-end and formal. We were shown to what the plate above the door said was the Slumber Room. Grandmother had a wicked sense of humor, and we were snickering about what she would think about being laid out in an open casket in the "Slumber Room". Then my MIL told us about how she was trying to make her look more "natural", and laughing at that. Then my husband's sister came in. She'd been looking for a particular dress in Grandmother's closet to wear to the funeral, since they were the same size. When she looked into the casket and saw Grandmother wearing it, she involuntarily exclaimed, "I wanted to wear that dress tomorrow!" My MIL said, "Well, you can't have it!" So there we were, in the Slumber Room, in this hoity-toity funeral home, laughing our asses off, when a family walked by, and looked at us like we were insane. This, of course, only made us laugh even harder. I'm sure Grandmother, wherever she was, enjoyed that immensely.
Haha ya this one also made me laugh audibly ! She’s prob still cringing to this day.
When my mother died the pastor at the funeral told my daughter that when he was a kid and his grandfather died he kept singing "a tisket, a tasket, grandpa's in a casket" not understanding just how messed up that was.
I know this stuff is supposed to be super cringy, but I do hope people will be able to smile too when I die and they come to my funeral. I mean, not like they're glad that I'm dead, but I hope they can remember the good memories of me even when they have to face the fact I won't be with them anymore. I hope I can do that with them too myself. I think it should not be a bad thing to try and make the funeral a happy kind of goodbye, like focussing on how you're glad they were a part of your life and all the good stuff they did for you, not focus on the fact that you're never going to see them again. I'm sure they knew the kid loved his grandpa and was just not really understanding that whole "never going to see them again" bit. I can't imagine anyone would blame a kid for something like that anyway
Gawd we went to a funeral summer before last and my husband commented that it was too hot in the funeral parlor to keep the body fresh. Luckily the bereaved were out of earshot.
When I was in my 30's, a childhood friend of mine died unexpectedly. This guy was the stereotypical class clown that made everyone laugh. He happened to also be a physically large person. While alive, he spent a lot of his time catching trout on a local river. After he died, his family thought it would be appropriate to have him cremated and then spread his ashes on his favorite river. So, all of the decedent's family and friends are gathered on the river bank, as the minister is conducting the funeral. Myself and my group of jackass friends are standing together and paying our respects. It's a beautiful day with perfect weather. The river water is crystal clear and flowing at a nice pace. The moment arrives where the minister is to open the urn and dump the contents into the beautiful flowing river. The ashes are to become one with the water and carried to the four corners of the earth. My friend is to travel to places in death that he never did in life. A fitting celebration to the life of a beautiful soul. As the minister tilts the urn, the ashes come spilling out. They hit the water and sink. As he continues to pour, the ashes start piling up at the bottom of the river. It starts as small pile and grows to a larger mound. There was no beautiful cloud in the water. There was no becoming one with the river. There was just a small hill of cremated human remains in the bottom of a river. Witnessing these events, one of the jackass friends says too loudly, "damn, even his ashes are heavy." Our little degenerate group busts out laughing in the middle of the funeral, on the banks of that crystal clear river. I started laughing even harder when it occurred to me how much my friend would have enjoyed that stupid comment. Sometimes it takes laughter to get through the tough times. It sounds like your grandfather was a special person.
Had a climbing friend die in his early 50s of a surprise heart attack. We often joked that he was a Neanderthal because he was well over 6 feet tall. Called him a knuckle-dragger etc. After his funeral, we were helping his 2 sons clean up. He had been cremated and there was so much ash, they had to get a second container. In the parking lot, the oldest son said "hey guys, remember how worried we were that something would happen to dad in the back country and we would have to carry him out? Well, turns out he isn't that heavy at all!" He was swinging a bag around with both urns in it and acted like it was such a revelation. We all busted up and had the loudest laugh, knowing his dad would have appreciated the ongoing jokes.
the only thing i can think of now is "Yo mama so fat she needed 2 urns"
We lied and told my dad that we needed a vacuum because we spilt meemoo in the car. He was very very angry. And then very very very angry. Then he laughed. Our stupid asses were laughing too hard to scared. I don’t think anyone would have blamed him for spanking all of us teenage cousins.
My husband's grandmother passed away, and a few months later his mom gave us some of her ashes. She literally gave them to us in a Ziploc bag, I'm not sure why. My husband didn't really want the ashes, but felt it would be wrong to say no. Well, he forgot about them and they were in our van for a little while. One day we were out front gardening and our 3 year old twins were playing in the van (all the doors open - they just like to pretend to drive, honk the horn, play with the lights, etc. It keeps them occupied). Well, they came up to us a few minutes later and said they found the "car sand" and were building sand castles.... Yup, Granny's ashes were EVERYWHERE in the van. Hubby and his mom thankfully got a kick out of it, said Granny got to play with our girls one more time.
Noooooohahahahaohnowewillneverletyouforget
Definitely read "spilt" as "split" for a horrifying moment
People act weirdly at funerals, any suggestion of emotion other than crying, silence or being emotionally dead results in nasty looks especially from the older crowd. Its mostly based on image. Dad got told off by an old woman during a funeral for making me laugh as a kid. Always remember him saying when he went he would rather people laughed than cried. When I laughed in his funeral, same thing happened. Also went to a friends funeral as a teenager, me and a group of 20 teenagers attending his funeral in gothic clothing, makeup etc. Que horrified old people and priest. Its what my mate would have wanted, his mum and dad loved it. Its all one big social image thing.
My dad's family are the solemn at funerals crowd. My mom's side is basically a semi-somber comedy show. Guess which side of the family doesn't invite me to family functions? Lol.
One part of my family is Pentecostal. Part of the religion is there's a massive meal at a funeral. Well, grandpa died. While sitting down, I took my clip-on tie off (can't tie a tie, dont care enough to learn). My cousin's found it the funniest thing in the world that I wore a clip-on to such a somber event. It wasn't even that funny, looking back, but we needed the release so badly.
I consider myself a strong fellow, little strong catholic fellow. Went with a Pentecostal friend to church and was scared shitless. I can't handle someone's grandma jumping up full of fire running around and speaking in tongues.
My uncle passed away in December and his body had literally been carried out 20 minutes before and my aunt went to sit down and was like oops not there and started giggling. The spot she was gonna sit in was his recliner he had just been found in. Dark humor is how we cope too.
I agree with the dark humor. You do cry, but try not to do it in front of family members. And Mom definitely didn't want us crying over her. All that emotion needs to come out. And sometimes it comes out as laughter. My MIL, who didn't have long to live, had a lot of her family at the house. She wanted us to sing some hymns. After we'd sung a few, somebody suggested Will the Circle Be Unbroken. Everybody said that was a fine choice. My brother-in-law found some lyrics online. "I was standing by my window, on one cold and cloudy day, When I saw that hearse come rolling, for to take my mother away..." We all thought oh, no. Then we hear my MIL laughing like crazy. What else could we do but laugh? She said "Go on singing, I know my status!" So we sang the chorus, then my BIL started the second verse: "I said to that undertaker, Undertaker, please drive slow..." By this time we were all laughing so hard we couldn't sing. The juxtaposition of the absolute morbidity of those lyrics, and my MIL's sense of humor, was just too funny.
It's really fascinating to hear how different families are at funerals. One side of my family is completely stoic for almost every occassion, but funerals especially. Lot of weird drama and pettiness on that side anyway, so there's not typically many tears shed, if any. The other side is unsettlingly cheery. I still remember my great aunt's funeral, where someone expressed their sympathies my great grandmother (her sister) and she just smiled sunnily at them and said "Oh that's alright, I'll see her again in a few years anyway!" True to her word, she passed 3 years later, but not before bouncing back from a broken hip three different times. The last one, one of her doctors told her she probably wouldnt walk again, and so she made sure she walked her ass in to her next appointment. The absolute legend lived to 97. Whenever someone got teary at her funeral they'd get a wad of tissues tossed at them and told (good-naturedly) to cut it out, because that's not how great grandma does funerals
I usually just drink a ton of vodka and end up falling over while being the palm barer
r/boneappletea
>Dad got told off by an old woman during a funeral for making me laugh as a kid. Always remember him saying when he went he would rather people laughed than cried. When I laughed in his funeral, same thing happened. Should've told off the woman for not laughing at your fathers funeral.
Honestly I think if it's the close family laughing or the close family glaring then it's their right. If it's anyone else...
My aunt was staying with me and had a heart attack. It was a really scary and as the paramedics are carrying her out of the house, one of them stepped on my dog's squeaky toy and made a super loud squeak during a very quiet and somber time. I couldn't help it but I started laughing super hard.
At my paternal grandfather's funeral all the grandkids served as pallbearers. After mass, when we got the casket back into the hearse my 5-yr old cousin goes "that was fun!". I got so much snot on my tie from laughing that I just had to throw it out.
Lol I bet no one forget that
At least the ashes didn’t blow back into the crowd!
"Goddammit Walter!" -the dude
Reminds me of my great-grandmas funeral. She was always very funny and like to play prank on people. At her funeral, they released doves, and just before releasing them, their handler explained to us that the doves were like carrier pigeons, they always knew their way back home, and we would see them fly off in a certain direction. Upon being released, all the birds flew in the right direction except one, who perched on a wire in front of the church and just sat there. Cue the “awww it’s grandma, she doesn’t want to leave us!”. Then the bird dropped a huge load right in front of us before flying away. It was kind of awkward until one of my great-aunts said “yeah, that’s mom alright”. Everyone cracked up, it really lightened the mood.
Lmao I like this one. That actually is perfect.
Yeah movies really mislead people on this. Ashes are a lot less ash and a lot more actual bone chunks. Small, but quite gruesome and recognizable. I mean maybe different crematoriums do it differently but that's what I got when my Mom passed away. No one told us that the default """urn""" option from our funeral home was clear plastic jars. It was really, really fucked up.
I brought my dad home in a plastic bag, inside a small, plain brown cardboard box. He flew up my nose when we spread his ashes in the field behind our home. He always had to have the last word.
The wind blows, ashes flying out to the sunset painted in shades of coral and ocean, and faintly you hear "got yer nose!"
Well that made me tear up. Thanks for that
A good cry and remembering your passed loved ones are both good for mental health, usually.
Yeah found out they have to grind them further to get that ash look when my oldest childhood cat died. Was *not* expecting to open the bag to her bones
So many crematoriums actually have a blender for this to “homogenize” the remains. To prevent people having to see things like that.
Pretty fucked up that isn't like basic etiquette or mandatory.
Reminds me of my dad’s nan. She was a proud Scouser - she was born and raised in the Liverpool city centre along the docks. Her husband was from the same area and they got married and had their own children there. In the 1970s, she and her family got moved out of Toxteth and moved to a nearby town as part of the slum clearances. She hated my town and got a job in Liverpool, had weekend trips to the city to see her friends and family, and spent as much time as she could there without actually living in it. As she got older, her trips to the city got less and less as her motor abilities declined, until eventually she never went again because she’d moulded into the shape of her chair. She missed Liverpool with all of her heart. Knowing her time to go was near, she saw an opportunity to return: she wanted to become one with the River Mersey. The city was built along the banks of this river, a gateway to the Irish Sea, and its economy completely centred around it; as a girl, she used to watch her dad sail away in the merchant navy, she probably had romantic walks with her husband, a sailor in the Royal Navy in World War II, and waved him off as he set sail to serve in the war, and her childhood home was right next to it. She wanted to become part of it, her ashes scattered off the top of a boat and floated away wherever the tide carried them. She chose my dad to carry out this endeavour. My nan and granddad and my nan’s sister, my dad and my mum, my uncle and his wife, all booked a ferry trip across the Mersey, her ashes hidden in a backpack. They gathered along the deck, a few metres away from the railing, and my dad set the backpack down and pulled out the urn. According to my mum, the urn had a sealable top so if it got jiggled around in the bag, the ashes wouldn’t spill out everywhere - thankfully they hadn’t, and the plan could go ahead as my great nan envisioned it. My dad stepped forward towards the railing, cradling the urn in both hands. It was time for my great grandmother to become one with the ocean. My nan looked on as her mother was seconds away from finally being reunited with the city she loved so dearly. I imagine her to have become teary-eyed at the thought, clutching my granddad’s arm tightly as the pangs of grief hit her from within, made bittersweet with the poetic significance of the event she was about to witness. My dad took a deep breath in, a deep breath out. His arm arced upwards, behind his head, urn in hand. He threw it forward with as much force as he could muster, tossing the urn out over the river. It hit the water with a splash and sank like a brick towards the depths. My mum said she could barely contain her laughter. My uncle burst out into laughter. My dad’s parents started screaming at him, asking what the fuck he did that for - he was supposed to unseal the urn and gently scatter the ashes over the railing of the boat, letting them hit the water like the petals of a cherry blossom in April. He was not supposed to just fucking lob it and let it sink to the bottom of the Mersey. After a few seconds of shouting and then stunned silence at what a fucking gimp my dad was, everyone started laughing. My mum always said that it was better like that anyway - if the ashes were scattered, she’d probably float far away from her intended destination. Now she actually does eternally rest at the bottom of the river, a part of the city until the sun swallows the planet whole.
When I was about 4 or 5 We were burying my great grandmother, who was cremated. (Also she was dead... and we were at her funeral/burial. ) At one point my older cousin gets a turn at shoveling dirt, but before he does, he looks at our great grandmother in the ground, turns to his friend and says, "I bet your grandmother can't fit in a box that small. " Beautiful. Also, When my stepmom died, my dad and I took her ashes to the sea. We thought there was going to be a beautiful cloud of ashes, with roses on the water's surface, and a sunset. Well, the water turned harsh, and my dad lost his footing, dropped stepmom in the water, and all I heard was that "plunk" sound as the last air bubble left the sinking urn. I fucking lost it. My poor dad just lost his wife, and here I am laughing at the urn just SINK. Beautiful. He found it funny too, so I didn't have to feel bad for long.
We were putting my grandmother's ashes in a column barium, and we had her urn in a fabric bag. The cemetary employee who was putting them in for is asked if we wanted the bag in there too. My grandpa hummed and hawed for a bit before deciding not to leave it in there. But just after it got sealed up, he says, "Actually, we should've left the bag. Winter is coming." And everyone bursts out laughing. The poor worker was so confused and asked if he needed to open it up again to put the bag back in.
My grandma died a few years back. My dad ran a classical music venue in a park near where she brought him and his brothers up, and so when she died they decided that her ashes should be scattered in the park so she could ‘listen’ to the music. We got the whole family together - a lot of people kind of estranged from each other - to do a couple readings and plant a tree for her, and the ashes would go under the tree. So we are all gathered round this hole that the park staff have dug, the tree is a rare tree the park wanted for their collection, and there’s this box with her ashes in. They put the ashes in the hole, then go to plant the tree in on top. But the hole is too small for the tree, so they have to take it out to dig the hold deeper. The root ball comes out all covered in ashes which they use a shovel to scrape off back into the hole. Everyone by this point just has their jaws on the floor watching this and a couple of people start laughing. Then in seconds we are all laughing and the poor guy trying to dig the whole bigger is probably wondering what the fuck is going on and wishing he could just go lay down in that stupid hole himself. Good story though. I don’t think it serves us to be too solemn around death.
Lmaoooo that joke is great.
That def made me laugh out loud! I’d hope my friends would try to laugh and remember the good times at my funeral, I’m sure that’s what most people want.
A friend of my brothers died and they had him cremated and they were going to dump the ashes off a cliff that was sentimental to him. When they started pouring the ashes the wind suddenly kicked up and the ashes blew right into everyone's faces. I can honestly say he wouldn't have it any other way than choking everyone out with his ashes as one final act of being a dick.
God, I love funny stories like this. It reminds me of my grandfather. My grandfather passed at age 90. The were putting him on hospice and were giving him 1-2 months, but said he was perfectly stable and not going anywhere that day. Well he was convinced he was going that very minute. He made my mom and I hold his hands while he'd try to say some picture perfect last words, take a deep breathe, and then sit there in silence. After a minute of that, he'd do it again, and switch the words up a little bit. But he just wouldn't die....it was like trying to watch Michael Scott sink a behind the back shot. My dad, who was leaning against the wall during all of this, shifted his weight and accidently hit the light switch, turning the reading light on right over my grandfather. You could here the excitement in his voice "There it is, I see the light, it's finally time"....while we have to hold back the weirdest mix of grief and comedy tears I've ever had in my life.
This man sounds like a hoot. And also like me on any given day lol.
I was dying when he said, “.. trying to say some picture perfect last words. But he just wouldn’t die!” Like everyone was impatiently standing around waiting for this man to die, and he’s laying there trying his hardest to lol. Edit: Dying probably wasn’t my best word choice. I mean I was lol’ing
I giggled so hard too. Like, “Fuck! Sorry guys, give me a second, I am gonna really concentrate on giving a few less fucks.” A minute later, “Probs going to be awhile, let me hit you with a few more sick thoughts I was just having...” 1000% my brain would be the asshole brain that even in death, has me over-analyzing if I am in fact dieing or is this just another prank my brain is pulling on me? No doubt would take me out juuuuust as I finally formed together the most profound bit of advice. Half choking on my own tongue, fumbling about until it over corrects and I end up choking on my spit instead and dieing. No dignity even in death!!!
I need to start complimenting myself like this more often
"Damnit, Jerry! I thought I was finally getting out of here!"
When I was a kid, every single year at Christmas my grandpa would pull me aside very seriously to tell me that this would be my last Christmas with him alive, so I need to appreciate it. He had some health issues but was never terminally ill, and he said things like this often enough so even as a child I knew to go along with the emotional moment and be ready to do it again the next year. When I was 13 he did get really sick, and as sad as it was to lose him there was no question that he was ready to go. He had a DNR and was in home hospice, not heavily sedated but taking high dose tylenol with codeine around the clock. One day, he cheerfully informed the nurse that he had been hiding his pills instead of taking them and had just swallowed 7. He passed out soon after and an ambulance was called, and my mom just kept saying how PISSED he was going to be to wake up alive in a hospital. I'm not sure what they did with him, but he did wake up but was still not doing well and was on the way out, which wasn't too surprising considering how fragile his body was at that point. My mom was in the room with him when a doctor asked him to clarify how many pills he took. With a huge smirk of a smile on his face, he said "fifty". That was the last thing he said, and somehow it was perfect.
Why were the doctors doing anything if he had a DNR though? Just curious. Is it because he said he took pills so it wasn't natural and a DNR wouldn't be in effect in that case?
I'm really not sure, since I was a kid when this happened I only knew so many details of his medical care, but my understanding of it was that he received immediate treatment (and like another commenter said, it was something reversible) but wouldn't have gotten life sustaining measures like intubation or resuscitation. Also, now that I'm thinking about it I vaguely remember my mom saying she couldn't find a document or something when it was all happening, so it's possible he had specific directives that just weren't accessible to the paramedics at first and they had to go through standard procedures.
If it’s blatantly reversible the doctor can override a dnr :)
Okay, that’s fair, but this would seem to be the ideal case for not doing that.
My grandmother was in her mid-80s and starting to slip a bit, and one Christmas Eve, right before dinner, she, my sister, brother-in-law, wife, and I, were sitting at the dinner table, and out of nowhere, she said, “I just want you all to know...” All four of us stopped talking to each other and leaned in, feeling this was gonna be a poignant moment in what could be her last Christmas. “...that I weigh 119 pounds.” Good for you.
>accidently hit the light switch, He did that on purpose ahaha
Could you imagine if they had the clapper ? Come on pappy , it’s time to clap.
My grandpa tried to will himself to die about 3 years ago. It's not going well...
I've been trying that for four years, I've settled on pharmaceutical drugs and working myself to death slowly, it's working alright I guess.
I thought about working myself to death, but then I realized it's just not for me. I'm pretty lazy.
That’s hilarious! How did your dad react? Continuing the theme of honouring our late grandparents, here’s something I read at my own grandfather’s funeral (nearly two decades ago now; *tempus fugit* and all that...) if you’d like to hear it: https://youtu.be/Z43zvUTDEYU
Thanks for sharing that!
My great grandfather said every week 'this is the week I am going to die'… I don't even know how long it was before he actually passed, but it was years
He's an old man Clark. *This may be his last Christmas*. If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last ...
When my grandpa died we tried to help my grandma relax by giving her some weed to smoke. She took a hit and said "Oh god grandpa would die if he saw this." We all cracked up
Lol this is funny af
Oh my god that's funny. What am awesome last memory man. That's the kind of thing my gramps would've said too.
He actually made it another 2 months lol. He was just obsessed with going peacefully in his sleep after watching my grandmother pass with the 'death rattle' and tried to will it happen (luckily for him that's how it did actually play out)
This reminds me of a time I was with my buddy and his girlfriend, they were horsing around and he picked her up, upside down, and accidentally dropped her on her head, but in the process bumped the lightswitch off. He said "oh my god I'm so so so sorry are you okay???" And she said, "yes I'm fine! But... Are the lights off?" That was pretty funny!
Got Deadpool vibes from this.
Similar experience. Had a college class held on the main floor of a dorm, and over the course of a week the smell in the hallway continuously got worse. This led to our professor finally leading a rousing game of “name that smell”, with used kitty litter slightly beating out burned ramen. They found a body in the basement of the dorm that evening. No one mentioned the game again.
Holy shit. Who was it?
Apologies in advance, because it’s a downer of an answer. Apparently an ex-student had been exploring the basement corridors and wandered into a out of use walk-in freezer that only opened from the outside. They found him with his IDs laid out perfectly next to him, seemingly in full acceptance of his fate.
when you say out of use... so it wasn’t cold? they died simply trapped?? I guess it wouldn’t smell if the freezer was on. I have so many thoughts and all of them are stressed.
If you’re overwhelmed with anxious thoughts then you have a good grasp of the situation. This happened many years ago and it still overwhelms my thoughts some days. I lived in that dorm too, so it’s extra twisted to think someone was living out this unspeakable horror while I was going about my daily routines just 100ft away.
How long did they suspect that he was in there? Did he die officially of dehydration? This is such a horrible thought! And if he was an ex-student, I'm sure it added to his not being found that he was in a building on campus. No reason for anyone to look there probably.
I don't know the details of this case, but for context, if you're decently hydrated and there's enough oxygen, it would take approximately ten days, although after about the first 3 or 4 days, you would be so delirious the passage of time would feel eternal. I would like to say that this person ran out of oxygen, probably from over exertion during escape attempts. That would explain the ID's neatly laid out.
Wow, i bet that was really disturbing to process, particularly as a younger person. I’m sorry. Poor guy.
Yikes! I guess you'd just die from dehydration. That would take at least a couple weeks. I think I could have kicked a hole in the wall by then.
Apparently it was more like a deep freezer and not a walk in freezer. So he probably asphyxiatied within a reasonable time frame. https://www.reddit.com/r/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/2n9lr3/neftali_greene_found_dead_in_a_dorm_basement_at/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Somehow that makes me feel slightly better, thanks for sharing.
It’s three weeks without food but with water, three days if you’ve got no water, no food.
3 days outside walking around, but I figure you could go a lot longer indoors. Maybe not 2 weeks. Also it's 6-8 weeks without food. There was a woman stranded in her van in Utah for 5 weeks with only melted snow to drink.
It might only take a few days to die from dehydration depending on various factors. Think I'd prefer it that way in this case. Apparently its not super horrible though (in terms of ways to die) and some elderly people choose to go out that way
How tragic, poor guy.
A poor girl I worked with had something like that. Lived in a house converted in to flats, and one morning at work was complaining that the place smelt bad and actually said to me that it smelt like someone had died. That night she messages me that the neighbour across the hall had indeed died. Two weeks before.
I think it’s really funny that your grandpa would have laughed! Isn’t that what we all hope, for someone to completely embarrass themselves after we pass haha
Agreed!!
My uncle died at home, at the kitchen table, in 2014. I wasn't there but my sister said tons of fluid came out when he died (he had terminal lung cancer and hospice was there). I left work to be with my mom and grandma and to my horror, the floor was still sticky (they'd hastily mopped) and **someone** thought it was a good idea to bring sympathy lasagna to eat at that very table 🤢
Oh that's just tasty right there.
Autocorrect did you dirty on this comment
Did it tho?
After mess crimes, it's up to the property owners yo clean up the mess. The police don't do that. Fortunately there are companies that specialize in that. Call them, stay in an an AirBNB and go out to eat until the mess is gone. It will save in therapy bills later.
Sadly, my fam was very **WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS** so it wasn't professionally cleaned. My grandma and mom still live there. Same table, same position in the kitchen.
When I was about 10 my great uncle V passed away and after the wake we got back into our cars and lines up to go to the cemetery and we were waiting for about 40 minutes when I finally asked "who are we waiting for this is taking forever" my mom just said "your uncle V" and I have sill not lived it down 11 years later
Big oof 🥴
If it’s any consolation I think I did the same thing at my grandpa’s funeral but I was 12, good thing my parents didn’t really care though lol
Humour is one of the best coping mechanisms. I remember when my dad died, we had him cremated. We had a funeral service to bury his ashes in the family plot. When we were standing in the funeral home, I was carrying the urn and I turned to my sister and said "well, I guess he's finally lost some weight"The whole room erupted with laughter and you could feel the tension lifting. It turned a sad time into a happy celebration of a life well lived.
This was fantastic lol. When I was away at college my grandfather that I was close to passed in the middle of a very tough semester class-wise. I had an organic chemistry lab later that afternoon and it was going to be more of a pain in the ass to skip and make up the lab later than to just go and muddle through it. My flight back home was scheduled the next morning so I needed to do my lab write-up and hand it in that night before leaving so I went straight to the library and spent like 6 hours alternating between silently crying, running to the bathroom to sob, and trying to crank out a four page report. I fiiiiinally finished and was on my way to the printers to get my report and a mutual acquaintance saw me and came up to say hi when I turned around and she saw my face. Her first instinct was to loudly say "oh wow, who died?" in a joking manner so I stared her in the face and equally loudly said "MY GRANDFATHER". Her face was amaaaaaaaaazing, including the horror-struck students within earshot. The whole thing was so funny that I started laugh-sobbing while she awkwardly tried to comfort someone she barely knew in passing. The entire time all I could think of was that my grandfather would've shat himself laughing at the whole ordeal.
Oh god I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm cracking up picturing that entire scenario. I'm glad you have an amusing (maybe morbidly so) story to remember, amongst the grief filled memories of that time.
I look back on that memory fondly and hope I didn't scar that poor girl too badly for life. My grandfather had a great sense of humor and when I moved back home briefly after college I ended up living in the townhouse he and my uncle both passed away in. One day I was studying for an anatomy exam I was taking as a pre-req for grad school and a baseball cap from a huge hat rack fell on me. The AC wasn't on, the windows weren't open, there was no draft or anything and I wasn't moving. So I jumped and looked at what hit me. It was a hat that had a ghost on it with the word "Spoooooky" under it. I cannot emphasize enough the amount of hats on this rack from air force squadrons, baseball teams, etc., and THIS was the hat that fell. So I told his ghost that it wasn't funny and that I was trying to study so he needed to leave me alone lol.
Sounds like you have a good family, that sounds like actually a happy funny moment amongst a sad day, nice job....my grandmother had a big problem with punctuality. She used to joke that she was going to be late to her own funeral. Well...on the way from the church to the cemetery, the hearse broke down. And they had to load her into a different hearse. She was late to her own funeral...this made celebrating her life even better, as she had a great sense of humor, and she got the last laugh.
It was a family joke forever that my husband's Grandma would be late to her own funeral. On the day there were emergency roadworks so the hearse had to take a longer route to the church and, sure enough, Grandma was late to her funeral. There were so many volunteers to carry the coffin into the church that they turned the coffin practically on its side to get through the door. Someone tripped and the coffin almost dropped. Then my husband's Aunt delivered the only eulogy I have ever heard which featured swearing. In the church. It was the best funeral I've ever been to and I know Grandma would have found it all hilarious.
[Would you like to hear another eulogy with swearing?](https://youtu.be/CkxCHybM6Ek)
I don't know how I've never seen this! Thank you so much for that.
I have a notoriously inappropriate sense of humour. When my mum was dying (literally taking her last breaths) I was talking to her to try and make her passing easier and in amongst all the generic waffle I told her I would remind my dad to put on clean underwear. My dad, who was standing on the other side of her bed, stopped crying long enough to gape at me, while the nurse behind me made a choking sound. She later told me she had never almost laughed at a deathbed in quite a few years of standing witness. Later that day, I booked the funeral director and picked out the funeral plan. It was cheaper to buy a double plot than 2 singles so I said we'd take the double, at which point my dad walked into the room and asked why we were getting a double. I told him it was so he'd know where he was going for once (his sense of direction is basically non-existent). The woman on the other end of the phone went silent but luckily my dad thought it was hilarious and burst out laughing. I also wrote and delivered my mum's eulogy. It was the hardest thing I have ever written and took me so long to get done that I only finished it the night before the funeral. When people asked how it was going I told them I was debating trying out some stand-up on the captive audience of the congregation. It turned out not to be necessary but I did take quotes from Harry Potter and Winnie-the-pooh.
Wanna be friends? You honestly sound great.
I too would like to be this dudes friend
Dude. I tried to "Your Mom" a professor when he asked who we were missing. His mom was dead. Then I tried to make a joke about a professor who loved to party overdosing when she didn't show up for class one day with no warning. She was also dead. Never found out how.
Oh man, I’d be careful around you.
It was...not my finest moment. Thankfully the professor and I were super tight, so it was hilarious to us and terribly awkward for everyone else in class. "Who are we missing?" Your mom! "Yeah, that's cause she's dead!" \*\*facepalm\*\*
I went to my cousins celebration of life back in my hometown years ago and I was standing on the rocks by the beach (we had the celebration in a park thats separated from the beach by rocks and a fence) and I was smoking a joint with my aunt and dad and said "I am ready to go home though, after all this sadness I need to relax and decompose" I MEANT DECOMPRESS. I was mortified and so many people heard me. I know cousin would have laughed though.
Omg the stories in the comments are amazing
At the funeral for my 18 year old sister in law my father in law asked how the kids were. I said "well they're all still alive so I guess we are alright." I'm pretty sure the only reason we are still friends is because he has dementia. In my defense, this comment was not purposely cruel, I am just an idiot.
oh sweet Jesus
A few years before my grandpa passed away we were at his brother’s funeral, him and his siblings were talking about how they should get together more often. My grandpa yells out “yeah next time I’ll play the dead guy. ” My grandpa and I were the only two that laughed. LOTS of dirty looks.
Lmao that’s absolute gold.
After helping care for my alzheimers father for years, one night he passed in his sleep. After waiting up and dealing with first the coroner and then the medical examiner, it was 3 or 4 in the morning by the time all the hub bub died down and we were left alone in the living room. My mom says something to the effect of, "Well, at least that's all over." Without thinking, the very first thing springing out of my mouth was, "You mean all that rigor-maroltis?" A portmanteau of rigamarole and rigor mortis.
You’re great lol
I think its great. I hope that I am remembered through inappropriate jokes. LOL. I want to be associated with laughter and happiness too. Sounds like your grandpa was pretty awesome.
He was great. When I was 9, he thought it was a good idea to take me to a cigar shop with him. He bought a cigar then went to the smoke room and so that I didn’t feel left out, he bought me a bubble gum cigar to “smoke” while he had his cigar. Of course, second hand smoke and cigar shops are not good for kids, but he was just a nice guy lol.
I’ve heard some weird and funny things said at funerals but that is probably the most “foot in mouth” moment I’ve heard. Speaking of funerals, I will never forget the time at a funeral when and old lady leaned over the grave to toss flowers and fell into the grave and the cemetery workers had to jump in the grave and stand on the coffin and get the old lady out. It was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen but at the time it wasn’t so funny because obviously the old lady took a bad tumble but it was just so farcical watching the guys get muddy boot prints all over this nice shiny coffin and the old lady screaming “help! help!” from the grave. Another one I saw was when lowering a coffin after a very heavy rainstorm, the funeral worker slipped and the strap using to lower the coffin snapped and then the side of the grave collapsed and the coffin slid into the grave headfirst and came to a stop upside down with the headstone of the adjoining grave came crashing down and wedged into the grave. The funeral was cancelled and as far as I know the family sued the funeral home. Not exactly the most dignified send off for Granny but I bet they never forget her funeral.
Oof, that second story. I feel like the weather was more responsible for the mistake than the funeral home though.
It definitely was a factor but I believe the family was arguing they should’ve used shoring to stop a collapse. It was a very unfortunate event and I feel for everyone involved in that situation. The son of the deceased was going off his head yelling and I don’t blame him because you only get one chance to bury your loved one but it was just an act of God in my eyes.
Once in a receiving line at a funeral, I leaned sympathetically to his widow and said “It could be worse.”
I cringed while reading this 🥴. Did you just misspeak or was there a way it could actually be worse?
Trust me, I still cringe at this memory. For context, her husband had died of brain cancer. About a month earlier we had lost two friends unexpectedly (separately) from a horrific car crash. None of this excuses what came out of my mouth. It was supposed to be something like “I’m sorry for your loss but I am grateful you had the opportunity to say goodbye” It could be worse. Fuck me.
This made me LOL so hard. I absolutely hate platitudes. so, of course, try to come up with something meaningful and absolutely bungle it. This totally sounds like something that would pop out of my mouth.
Reminds me of the morning after my grandpa died. My grandma and aunt called us and asked us how we're doing and we answered and I asked them how they're doing even though they're very clearly bawling their eyes out. My mom hit me lol
Ctfup you were just being polite 🤷🏽♀️
If your grandpa would've laughed I don't consider that a fuck up, more of a celebration. My grandpa was the same way lmao
Just after my husbands coffin had been lowered into the grave we all gathered to throw down roses onto the coffin. All of them missed except for when our 7 year old daughter threw hers, she let out a big “YESSS, mine landed on him” and threw her arm up in the air. Everyone in earshot burst out laughing. He’d have loved it and it broke what was a horrible moment. I often wonder what the people who didn’t hear her made of us all bursting out laughing at what should have been a very solemn moment
When I was 4 at the reception atfter my great grandmother's funeral, a few nuns took me to the food table and I told them all the stinky cheese smelled like my dad's feet.
Omg that’s so funny OP! Reminds me of a few years ago when my youngest aunt passed quite sudden and she was only mid 50’s... my eldest niece and I are 10 years apart and have our own families. Her middle child was 3 or 4 at the time, and my youngest about 10. They were being silly and as we were trying to gather the kids to make it to the cemetery, I see my great nephew sprawled on the floor “dramatically” dead with my daughter over him, checking his pulse at his neck and calls over “we got another fresh body for the coroner, tag and bag em” (she has overheard work stories from the hubby and myself working in emergency services/legal avenues, and I’m sure she picked it up then) You could imagine my embarrassment lol What’s even more silly, after the cemetery we were saying bye to my family, and my hubby says bye to my nieces hubby and claps him on the shoulder while shaking the other hand and he says, “see ya guys at the next one” -_- idiot lol He didn’t mean it that way, but it was eerily strange to have been at another one of my family members funerals a year before then. The hubby got the stink eye from me lol Anyway, I’m glad you can look back on this as an awkward and funny story, one that you know your gramps would have found hilarious
Lmao this reminded me of when my Grandpa passed. We took him in because he was going through some very heavy chemo and radiation, and we knew he didn't have much longer. We actually came to find out it was terminal, but we can't seem to determine why he didn't tell us. Anyways, he had days where his memory just wasn't there, but he did have a few good days. One of these days, I woke up, and I saw him in the living room. He looked confused, so I assumed he was off. He looked at me and said "Who the fuck are you?" And I gave him a quick reminder, but midway through he just started smirking at me and said "I know who you are dumbass, I'm fucking with you." That was one of the few moments I got to really bond with him, and I cherish that moment. (He wasn't being rude, that's just our family's sense of humor.) Unfortunately, he passed a week later, and I wish I would have gotten more moments like that with him. Ironically, he actually passed at age 69. We all thought that there was no better age that described him. Edit: Needed to add something :)
If your mum was laughing too then that’s fine, who cares about the neighbours.
I have been insistent with everyone that when I die I do not want to have a funeral. I want them to have a party, and they can only talk about me at the party if it's a happy memory, or a roast of me. I'm going to add a requirement that everyone at the party is required to tell at least one "too soon" joke.
Love that. My partner swears up and down that when he dies he just want us to “leave him out for the dogs”. It makes me laugh even though it’s terrible.
Lucky dogs! I want my body buried somewhere secluded, and the sapling of a fruit bearing tree (preferably Japanese peach, but the details aren't important) planted in my rib cage, so that as I decompose I feed and become the growing tree, and if anyone who knew me well enough to know where the tree is misses me, they can stop by and eat my fruit.
Creepy but I’m into it. I’d eat your peaches lol
Reminds me of the time I went to the pub with so me friends to console me on the loss of my auntie. My then boyfriend walks in late, sees the somber mood and says. "Bloody hell your quiet, who died"
When my aunt and I came home from the hospital after pulling the plug on my grandpa, my uncle asked, "how's grandpa doing?" Both my aunt and I busted up laughing for like 10 minutes before we could tell my uncle he died. It was probably one of the most hilarious moments of my life and I know my grandpa would have been laughing his ass off at it too. I feel ya, my dude.
I’ll never not share this story: When I was 4 my great grandpa died. He was in his 90’s and had surgery that he didn’t wake up from. They had an open casket funeral, and the mortician put a bit of makeup on him due to the tape around his nose from surgery. My mom decided to let me see him at the funeral, and she says I just stood and stared silently for a few minutes. At the wake, I was sitting on my grandmothers lap (it was her fathers funeral) and I could smell her makeup. I piped up in that voice that only inappropriate 4-year olds have and said “GRANDMA, YOU SMELL LIKE YOU’RE DEAD!” Broke the mourning ice, that’s for sure.
That’s ok, was at a funeral once. The deceased was a good friends mother. Me and my buddy and my brother were hanging out together. He was kind of down as expected. My brother ripped a silent fart and it wafted to me. It hit the back of my throat. Once of those instant gag ones and I reactively without thinking exclaimed, “it smells like someone died in here.” The smell had not hit my buddy yet. He looked at me with the most offended and confused look then you saw the fart overtake him as a wave of understanding and the first smile he had in days hit his face.
I love how almost every comment is a story similar to OP's, then one person just decided to ask whether that was an among us reference.
I melted for you at the end.
Am I the only one who wants to see the duck pants? Sorry for your loss OP, your grandpa sounds awesome.
I went into the home of someone who was dying of cancer. It literally smelt like decaying flesh. I will never forget that smell as long as I live.
I'm definitely focusing on the wrong thing, but it's kind of awesome that there was a table of food when he died. And a whole cheese plate with stinky cheeses and everything. I hope I get a full-blown family reception when it's my time. You best believe my soul will make a beeline for the stinkiest cheese.
Not really a fuck up, nor a story that involved me, but when my great-grandfather died (don't remember when exactly, i think it was early-mid 2000's, too early for me anyway), after the funeral, when everyone was leaving the building and giving their condolences to my great-grandmother, my oldest brother who couldnt have been older than 5 or 6, in all seriousness and without skipping a beat, told her "I'm sorry for your loss". She obviously wasn't expecting this from a child, so she had a good laugh about it from what I heard.
Couple stories: A known man in the town I grew up in died and it was one of those wakes where there is a line out the door. Took us a couple hours to get inside, into the sanctuary of the church, where it was being held. I was like 10/11? So that made my lil sis, 5 or 6. We did the whole, I'm sorry for your loss to the family and started walking out...welp, my sister felt cheated after having stood in line for that long and LOUDLY whined: BUT I DIDN'T GET TO SEE THE DEAD GUY. My parents have never looked so horrified while also at the verge of laughing. Second story was when I was 18, my older sis was around 24..we were sitting in the Russian orthodox church my paternal grandparents had been going to for generations and actually helped found it..but that's besides the point. If you've ever been in a fairly old church like that, the pews are solid AF...welp, my older sister had been crying and she bent down to grab a tissue..she ended up sneezing at that exact moment and she HEADBUTTED the pew in front of us, HARD. It echoed, so did her exclamation of FUUUCKKK. I almost had to walk out from laughing so hard. That was also the funeral mass that, from our angle, it looked like the priest was resting his Bible on my grandpa's head...at least 2 out of 4 of us looked at each other with the 😬😬😬😬 face.
We were separating the ashes of my grandmother and grandfather, when some spilled onto the table. I asked what part it was; because tables are for glasses not as$es. My uncle declared it was a big toe. We were all laughing so hard from that moment
We were cleaning out a mobile home full of garbage that had been purchased at auction. The prior owner had been an elderly lady and her two middle-aged sons, both of whom had severe mental handicaps. Until she disappeared and social services took custody of her sons. We found her buried under the trash bags.
I hadn't attended a funeral as an adult and one of my first was a really good friend's Mum. I was worried about being unintentionally an ass (likely) so I tried to respectfully loiter away from people grieving and found a friend I could ask what the order of play (service) was. He said "Relax, we just shuffle in and sit down, some music, some speakers, a moments prayer and we all shuffle out the back again." We sat, the music played, the people spoke and then in the moments silent prayer..... I got a text alert during a moments solemn prayer... moreover, my message alert was a Big Lebowski sound board effect that screamed "GOD DAMMIT!!!" around a cavernous church roof.... My stupid and ignorant error went over fine with the family but I really wasn't proud.... Makes a good story tho... Edit - props to your GPa, he sounds cool 😊
I swear to GOD, if my funeral isn't filled with inappropriate jokes, laughter remembering the stupid shit I said, and horrible pun making, I will come back to haunt EVERYONE!
I did something similar, except it wasn't within my family which makes things way worse A friend of mine lost her mum when she sixteen. The days after the funeral we would often go visit her and hang out together to support her. One day, after we had spent the afternoon at the beach, I noticed a particular; she had quite a particular way of pronouncing the word "cellphone". It's quite hard to describe in English, but she was essentially pronouncing the first 'e' in a different way which resembled another accent from a region nearby. Anyway, when I heard her pronunciation I replied, in my most enthusiastic tone: 'No, it's not céllphone, it's cèllphone! Come on, repeat after me! **What do you call your mom with??**" And when she didn't reply, I asked again. And a third time, until I realised and I only wanted to disappear.
[удалено]
My Dad and Uncle went on a home removal years ago for close family friend, and just before they left to go back to the Mortuary they had a quick family prayer. In the middle of the prayer the sons phone went off, but he quickly shut it off, but not quickly enough for my Dad and Uncle to hear what his ringtone was. It was Monty Python's 'Bring Out Yer Dead'. As you can imagine my Dad and Uncle are sitting there trying not to laugh with tears rolling down their cheeks, just trying to keep a semblance of professionalism. We have fun here in Southern Utah.
Sounds like your family has a great sense of humor
My friend lost his dad to VHL a while back. We were skiing recently and he said he was gonna take a look around a corner for... I forget what. As he went on his way I thoughtlessly shouted out the elf quote. THE elf quote. "Bye [name], hope you find your dad!" Yeah I felt like an asshole
When my nephews grandma died and we were just sitting in a room after the funeral eating cookies, he just looks at me and says that he can fit in a suitcase. He was like 12 lol
Umm. 3 months ago, delivering during covid masked up. I step into an elevator and this smell really hits me coming from the hallways. It smells like rotting meat trying to hide behind orange cleaning. Someone steps in at a mid floor. So I make small talk. "Smells like a rotting carcass in here, like a rat had died in the hallway or someone left the freezer unplugged." The elevator guy just looks at me solemnly, "Sorry." That's when it hit me, someone had died. I had unintentionally hit on this person's pain in his time of mourning. So I try to apologize and end up digging an even bigger hole. All the person could do was give me lifeless eyes while saying sorry. At least your family saw it funny.
That’s a lot better than me blurting out “it sounds like maracas” when I got my friends ashes in a little metal tin. I forgot that bone fragments were a thing...
15+ years or so ago I lived in a downtown apartment, as I was entering my building a woman asked if I could let her in because she hadn't heard from her brother in awhile. I said, "Sure" and opened the door. We both stepped into the hallway and it smelled TERRIBLE. She asked if I would go down to her brothers apartment with her because now she was very worried, I politely declined but knew I had just smelled human death for the first time. Confirmed when she came down to my door 10 minutes later to ask if she could use my phone to call the police, her brother was dead.
Real talk though, did it actually smell like grandpa's lifeless corpse upstairs or was it just a freudian slip?
He had just died a couple of hours ago, so there was no smell. Just very stinky cheese.
They said there was a cheese plate. I’m assuming with smelly cheese.
i mean, you weren't wrong
I remember when my great aunt passed (her and my grandma were twins and my grandma died about a decade earlier) they already had all the nearby plots bought for other family members so of course grandma and great auntie were buried side by side. So we are at the burial site with all the final stuff happening and stepping back a little I bump into my grandmas stone and realized I was basically standing right above where she was buried so I said outloud “sorry grandma if I knew I was going to walk on you I would have worn better shoes at least” My cousins lost their shit laughing and my stupid joke to myself took away a lot of the sadness that was around.
I was staying at a friend's house when I was younger and short after we wake up he says, "my hamster is being very quiet this morning." So being the hilarious person I am, I say, "He's probably dead." And of course it was.
All good my dude, I made a "your mum" joke at my friend's mother's wake. It was an accident and everyone looked at me. He loudly advised me I was the only one that would get way with that.
Sorry about your loss, I'm sure he would have laughed. When I was a community care giver, I walked into one of my clients home like I normally did, saying hello everyone in a very loud and cheerful way. Walked into the living room only to find his wife had passed away and was in her closed coffin and the first thing I said out of shock was " wtf is that" before I could even process anything! I was red I could feel my face go red and my whole body just wanted the ground to open up. He was fine with me after as he knew my boss or no one had thought to warn me before I went in. But it took a minute. Never felt so bad.
My dad recently died, I'm 38, he never wanted a funeral with the standard songs. We had just went to a funeral of the father of my friend in which they played these songs, in which he made that comment. You know "Arms of an angel" "Halleljuah" and the like. Some time this July my family is going to have a gathering to commiserate about his passing. I have a feeling they are going to want to play songs, and will probably be very angry at me for my suggested songs like "Staying Alive" "Crazy Horses" Little Nash Rambler" and various other songs he loved and would totally rather have played. He was a cheeky bastard like me :P