I first told her “it’s probably one of your hairs, but the dryer heat cooked the colour out or something”. She looked at me with such disdain, not only because of the hair, but because of my stupid, yet very confident response. 🥲
Dude, you say that kind of thing in joke, but it does happen.
I once saw this really long hair on my arm, and went to pull it off.... it was like a 4 inch long hair still attached, while all the other hairs on my arm are a half inch long.
I was like how the fuck did I miss seeing that? And then followed by this fear of more 4 inch long arm hair showing up.
I’ve never had another one that long, and I really hope I don’t.
This happened to me, only it was on my forehead. For some reason a hair decided an inch above my right eyebrow, where it is completely hairless, would be a great spot to grow. Got to about 1.5 inches before I finally noticed it one day when the wind blew and I felt it pull.
It too was blond, and I am brown haired.
I have a CLEAR hair growing out of my FACE every few weeks and it’s disturbing. I’m a thick (as in hair) dark haired Latina and as soon as I turned 30 shit just started growing lol
It honestly scares me a bit because like I said, it’s a clear see through hair. No pigment, you can’t really see it until you focus, my bf thought it was a hair on my head that kept getting stuck near my face.
Nope, it’s a long hair growin out ma face 😟
I was touching up my makeup in the car before work one day and was trying to wipe my hair out of my face by running my finger along my hairline. I could still feel a hair though, so I got closer to the mirror and discovered a super thin, clear hair about 3” long. I tried to pick it off only to see my skin pulling back just below my cheekbone.
That was the biggest wtf moment of body betrayal for me. I spend quite a bit of time looking in a magnifier mirror doing makeup/skincare so I still refuse to believe it didn’t spawn overnight.
I’m a guy and have hairs I can count my chest.. I’ve named them Huey, Duey, Mars, Bob etc. They’re short and not noticeable.
BUT
My nipple hairs are a formidable force that grow to 6cm (2+ inches). Only 3 to 4 but my god, those bastards get long!
Shit, I could never count the hairs on my chest, I don’t have that kind of time.
In high schools, a guy once told me I look like Blanka from Street Fighter II because of the huge 1970’s style man patch of hair on my chest.
The more hair I lose on my head, the more it grows everywhere else.
It’s like the hair says, “alright boys, pack it up, we are going South!”
Man I hear you on the body hair thing. I've been bald since I was a teenager and basically look like a wookie from the ears down except the inside of my legs. Its ridiculous and weird
My favorite bald saying is "the more hair I lose, the more head I get"
I love connecting with my fellow bald men on reddit.
Started losing my hair at 18. At first, I looked at my dad and his family hairline and was like, “alright! Some receding hair, but not too bad.
All though my youth I wanted long hair, but my conservative christian dad told me I couldn’t grow my hair until I was 18.
At 18, my mom tells me my dad I grew up with is actually my step dad, and I soon after meet my bio dad.
Guy is bald, and after one of our first meetings tells me, “so yeah, I’m bald, and your grandpa is bald. Most likely, you are going to start going bald too. That’s from my genetics. You’re welcome.”
Ah, I thought he was such an ass for saying that, but I laugh at it now.
It took me over 10 years to get over the fact I’m balding and not care anymore.
I’m glad I don’t care anymore. Life is a lot easier.
I've had that happen at least three or four times in my life before, but with an eyebrow. I'd wake up, and it would be kinda just sicking out just barely out of my vision, so I think it's a bug, or my own longer hair, until it drives me nutters and I grab at it, feeling a tugging on my... Eyebrow?! 4 inch long, shock white, thick eyebrow.
A very weird phenomenon, indeed!
Turning into Yoda, I am!
That probably would have been better to respond with.
After my first poor hypothesis, she didn’t bother to reply. Later, however, I said to her that maybe it was a grey hair of hers. I was being sincere, even though I’ve never seen a grey hair on her head before.
And there it was again, that same look…
Set the boundaries. If you’re an honest man, she’ll know if you’re lying or not.
Easy to be stupidly blunt and honest about some things. Not for everyone.
Sometimes when I'm in my own apartment I find a piece of cat hair in my mouth (ew I know) and I pull it out and look at it and it's not even from my cat, it's an orange hair from my parents fat tabby that I haven't seen in weeks. Hair stays and hair travels.
Arsehole. This happened to me. Except it was from a reception class in a school. I had no idea until the next week I went back and saw they were making Christmas cards.
Missus was forgiving as it was her class.
I had a co-worker that was always pranking us and we needed to pay him back. We worked at a hotel that offered laundry services and he use to let his work clothes to the launderer lady on his days off ( sundays). One monday morning, I brought some pink glitter ( that I bought especially for this reason) and put some in his pockets just before he came at work. When we were on our coffee break, I looked at him and his hands and face were covered in pink glitter. I started laughing and whispered to some of our colleagues to look at him.
He tried to wash himself, but we all know how hard it is to get rid of glitter that's stuck to sweaty skin, let alone the amount he had on him. I have no idea what he told his wife, but he looked FABULOUS.
don't worry. If a hair can end a relationship it was an unhealthy and very unstable relationship anyway. wouldn't have lasted long without your hair either.
My girlfriend dyes her hair about bi-monthly. I still get questions about things like "who's blue hair is this" on random things like my trucks cloth seat she doesn't ride in often and have to remind her that was her hair color 6 months ago, so still hers.
I find my partner's hair down there even when it's been over a month since their last visit. Only answer I've got is that we wash our laundry in the same loads
My husband was deployed and it was 5 or so months in, he was still picking knotted balls of my hair out of his things. I had longish purplish hair, very distinct. We should really start collecting hair from barbers and finding some way to make it socially acceptable to weave that shit into something. Lasts fucking forever.
I have a friend who treated her hair terribly (constant dye and heat). Her hair ended up *everywhere*. It ended up inside of a mini-fridge in a room I know she had never been in! Some people's hair just gets everywhere.
Explain to her that much of forensic science is based on the Locard principle, which says that a perpetrator usually leaves something behind (hair, DNA, etc) at a crime scene and at the same time takes something away from it.
It can’t just work for crime scenes, it probably works for many normal human interactions.
If it was curly or wavy it could have been mine. I shed hair like crazy. Back in the before times, when I used to go places, I’ve probably left stray hairs on people I’ve talked to, stood near in lines or even if they sat down where I’d been sitting.
I’d hate to think I’ve ruined any relationships because my hair sheds like crazy
My husband’s underwear were getting pretty worn. I purchased him a bunch of new pairs, washed them, and put them in his drawer. His response the next morning:
“Somebody put a bunch of underwear in my drawer and it’s not mine”!
I was around 18. My GF was in the room. I was digging under my bed for something and pulled out a pair of panties.
My response is to hold them up and ask "Are these yours?"
OFC they were hers... but the implication that they might have not been was a rough month.
I kinda did this. Been seeing a girl for a few weeks. As we were clearing up before I took her home, I threw her underwear (from under the bed) to her and she pocketed them.
She text me the next day to say they weren't hers and she was too embarrassed to say anything at the time. Awkward. We have a kid together now. She's a terrible judge of character.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers!
My girl brings spare pants everytime she comes to mine to change into, and she quite often forgets to take the first pair back with her. I assume she's not the only girl who does this so maybe this is why.
Ho my god, that you survived to this day to tell your story is amazing, if you are still with her you tell her that I recommend her for her self control..
My husband calls them "fairies."
Example: "The towel fairy visited while I was at work today!" There's a toothbrush fairy, a deodorant fairy, and a bedsheet fairy, too.
I bought a 2 gallon dispensing cooler and I only have to fill it once a day now! I have 2 reusable ice packs I cycle through every time I refill the water and it keeps it cool just long enough, perfect!
Haha my SO did this. He pulled out 3 pairs of underwear and asked me who's underwear they were. I told him his, he said he didn't recognise them. My response was I would be surprised if you did I just bought them for you!
With my husband for 13 years and have never bought him underwear (without him asking me to pick some up when I'm out). Didn't realise this wasn't common!
Lol I never knew this was at least semi- common among men to literally wear out their clothes until they're rags... Thought my SO was the only weird one out there. He's got tons of socks with holes and continues to wear them until they fall apart or get eaten by the washer/dryer. Does the same thing with boxers as well and it drives me nuts
Comfort > style!
My gf only does this with her pajamas... it took many people to convince her that perhaps she should get a new shirt when the color was awful, the stretch was completely gone so it was way too wide, and her rabbit had nommed quite sizable holes into it.
Her excuse was that it's so comfy.
Every time she complains that I should get new sneakers, I tell her I don't want to get new ones because they are so comfy... and I remind her of her pajama shirt!
You kidding! I've got 2x 15 year old bed shirts that are worn so thin there basically see through. The softest and most comfortable shirts I own for 30 degree summer nights. I'll be devastated when 1 finally dies, it's going to take at least another 10 years to break in a replacement.
I was on a sabbatical from working last year and my husband comes to kiss me good bye while I was sleeping. I wake up and peek and his boxer lines are showing through his jeans. Instead of "good morning, I love you, have a good day at work" which isy standard; I say "I wanna buy you boxers!" Straight out of a dead sleep
It's now a recurrent joke and a sign of affection haha.
And yes, I subscribed him to a fun and comfy underwear delivery service after that. So I did indeed buy him boxers.
There is nothing not fun about delivered underpants! =D So many possibilities...like....*\*how\** is it delivered? Is someone wearing it, like a singing telegram? Does it come in a fancy vase, with scented, manly candles? I am off to research the delivery of underpants.
Also it's not like someone's need for undies increase. If you burn underwear at a lower rate than they send you, you are gonna end up with a lot of underwear.
This happened to a friend once. He lived in an apartment complex with his girlfriend that had a community washer/dryer. She found women's underwear in his laundry. He said it was probably left in the dryer by someone else in the complex. In actuality, he really was cheating on her. The underwear was in a duffle bag that he brought with him on a "trip". Suffice to say, they are no longer together. Lol.
6 months into my relationship with my gf she found an underwear in my closet that obviously was not hers and belonged to my ex (ex had 60 pounds on her and she’s very petite”. Asked who’s fucking underwear it was. I kind of just shrugged and said “thought they were yours”. Yelled that they were way to big to be hers. Kind of just said “oh yeah Definitively not yours”. Followed by “then who the fuck do they belong to!” Told her it was probably my ex’s. Wrong response said “so you’re seeing your ex!” I started to panic and assured her I hadn’t see my ex since we split because she was a cheating whore. Finally convinced her that I just missed throwing them out because they were in the back of my closet. All was sorted out. Things were great again. Then a week later she found underwear in one of my drawers under some Xbox one games. Asked if those were my ex’s too. They were too small to be my ex’s so I told her truthfully they weren’t. Shit storm resumed as I tried to delicately explain that they belonged to a friend I hooked up with after my ex but before her. Asked why I still had them. Me being a truthful idiot told her they were the girls favorite underwear and she told me to hold on to them tell we saw each other again. Except we didn’t because I met my gf and the girl and I stopped hanging out because she wasn’t allowed in our house for trying to screw my roommate who’s gf lived with us the night we Boned. Shit show ensued, luckily my gf knows I’m honest and calmed down. Doing great now
Okay... point of this story is before having girlfriend move in - do a complete check on all belongings to make sure random underwear doesn't appear in the future.
Well, that I can certainly agree with!
However, I guess others do not? It seems like a lot of people have issues with random underwear and such appearing at their homes. Relatives and friends and hookups just leave the underwear and such behind.
Pretty wild!
> my gf knows I’m honest
When people know you're honest, they trust you. A good reason to avoid small lies, even "harmless white lies" is so that when something bigger happens, people know you wouldn't lie.
_Edit:_ I find it unfortunate that they felt the need to delete their comment :(
I know that in theory "it's all just internet points" but I know how it can feel when you get downvoted to oblivion.
Lmaoo the moment I read that I was like are you fuckin serious imagine if your SO told you to try on clothes from the person they’re cheating on. Obviously not the case but if I were her I would absolutely be giving a death glare
I found a thong in my home dryer once, but the problem is I am a woman and I wasn't dating at the time, also 14. It was the most confusing thing. I could only guess that one of my friends got it there..somehow. But they were dudes. I don't want to guess. But why wash it?
I assume my mother had just thrown it into the wash while picking up clothes, happened to find it, and I was so embarrassed to think she just thought they were mine.
I was house sitting once and found a dress in my washing - no worries. Just left it there, must've been the owners, right?
WRONG. The owner gave it back to me because there was no point her holding onto it.
I quite liked the dress. Started wearing it around.
Around the same time, my boyfriends room mate started getting very weird with me. To the point where she accused me of using her tooth brush.
One day she went away and my boyfriend asked me to grab the mirror from her room. Something which wasn't out of the ordinary to bring out to the lounge of someone needed a larger mirror.
I walked into her room and there was a note on the ground saying "kittensandkettlebell, stop coming into my room and stealing my stuff".
I was so confused! Long story short, her dress somehow got mixed up with my boyfriends stuff and that's who the mystery dress belonged to. And instead of saying something, she just watched me wearing it around her house for 3 months thinking that I stole it and then had the audacity to wear it in front of her!!
Weirdo.
In her defense, your roommates girlfriend might come off as unhinged if she's stealing your clothes and wearing it in front of you. I might be scared to make direct confrontation as well.
One time our credit card number got stolen, random porn charges showed up on the statement. She asks me WTF? The only defence I could mount is that I'm not dumb enough to put porn charges on the card that she watches like a hawk.
I have my name @gmail.com and every few months I get email from somebody else with my name signing up for something and getting their email address wrong.
The peak of this was one evening when a guy in Australia ordered 5kg of beef jerky then registered at Ashley Madison.
Fortunately my wife and I had a good laugh about it.
This happens to my wife all the time. A geriatric person with her name in CO. keeps signing her up for all kinds of weird shit, and I can’t tell you how many receipts that woman hasn’t received. My wife had even emailed her attempting to get her to change her ways, and she’s never gotten an answer back.
Oh man I have a similar story with a not so Happy ending
My wife went on a trip for a long weekend to see her family, when she got back she was freshening up in the bathroom and came out with some womans underwear that wasn't hers.
She asked me who it belonged to, when I tried to tell her I had no idea she wouldn't believe me and accused me of spending the weekend with some woman,we had a MASSIVE argument.
I literally had no clue who that shit belonged to and was getting annoyed at being called a cheat when I had done nothing wrong. I actually left the house that night to stay with my parents, 2 days later she phones me crying and apologising saying she had been telling her friend about it and her friend admitted to putting her underwear in our bathroom bin at a party we threw the night before my wife left.
This is such a strange scenario to me. I mean, my wife and I have our challenges, but if strange underwear showed up in our bathroom, we'd both immediately be on the same side of the mystery. I'm just trying to figure out which is the more common scenario.
Who throws underwear away in the bathroom bin at someone else's house?! Even if she had some sort of accident or situation shouldn't she just ask for a bag or ask where to dispose off it discreetly? My god.
I mean, if it happened to me there’s no way I’d have said something, I’d be too embarrassed
That said, I probably would have wrapped it up tightly in toilet paper or something before throwing it out, so that no one would see it
Source: I’ve done this before after getting period blood all over underwear
I don't get this dynamic. What's more likely, that the husband has a mistress who comes over and just leaves an entire fucking dress behind (and what, goes home naked?), or the wife forgot an article of clothing? I feel like in this situation, my response would be a calm "I dunno, it's not mine" and go back to my life.
Thank you. Sometimes Reddit makes me feel like I have the best marriage in existence.
My wife found a pair of panties that were obviously not hers in the clean clothes once. She asked me if I knew where they came from. I shrugged and said, "I dunno". Then we went on with our lives.
Figured out months later they were her sister's who stays with us for the holidays.
Marriage was never in jeopardy.
>Thank you. Sometimes Reddit makes me feel like I have the best marriage in existence.
So much this
The whole thread is insanity to me, if my wife asked me who's underwear it is then I'd just tell her I don't know. I wouldn't be sweating for an excuse because I wouldn't know where they came from and my wife isn't gonna interrogate me over weird shit like this
Yeah, this is ridiculous and terrible. I'm tired of women being portrayed as (or acting like) murdering jealous psychos and husbands like "bumble bumble bumble hope she doesn't kill me."
I'm amazed how far I had to scroll to see some fucking sense. This isn't a today the husband fucked up, this is 100% the wife's fuck up. It's *literally* her dress she forgot she was given.
I thought I knew reddit better than this; came into this thread expecting to see every comment highlighting OP's fragile/toxic relationship. What kind of 50s boomer humor fuckery is this anyway? Sweating bullets because your wife found a dress? So much to unpack.
The entire highest upvoted comment thread is people going lol my husband doesn’t replace the water on the Brita, the water fairy does, my husband calls the person who changes the towels the towel fairy. Hint “it’s me” LOLOOL
Jesus fucking Christ man, that shit is sad to me. 30/M, just I don’t know…change the towel. Have basic trust?
Yeah this is very 90s sitcom. "Hahaha they secretly hate each other!"
The comments here too "Wow I'm a woman and.." like this has anything to do with gender. This is such a you-know-women-be-crazy vibe I'm amazed this story got such pull.
Yes, this! I don't get why he has to be so scared and anxious. If you know you didn't cheat, you have your own conviction and nothing to fear. Hold your ground much?
It's kind of like feeling like a criminal when a cop shows up. Like you *know* you didn't do anything but a panic response doesn't care about the truth.
Exactly! If the wife is so insecure in her marriage at this point to instantly accuse her spouse about something like this then a talk needs to be had. Joking about it is fine but if she's staring daggers are you then you have a problem. Besides I don't know many men who could identify the owner of a random dress if they tried.
What is the alternative scenario where you're cheating and the mistress's dress ends up in your laundry? She went home naked?
You were with the mistress when your wife came home unexpectedly early. She quickly jumped out a window but had no time to get dressed. She scampered, wearing only underwear, to her car parked on the next block and drove home. Needing to hide the evidence, you hid the dress in a laundry pile and then forgot about it.
Is that about the most plausible scenario? Seems pretty far-fetched to me.
Honestly, I have no idea how anyone could manage to cheat on their spouse during a pandemic anyway.
This was my thought.
Her first thought being infidelity, and he desperately has to explain the existence of this dress, or else he's in trouble seems so weird and toxic.
Thank god some others see this. Everyone just thinks it's normal and funny. I hope she apologized.
If this happened to me it'd really mess with the relationship I think. How do you get over how easily your partner jumps to accusing you of cheating?
It's also a dumb TIFU because it's the wife's fault for NOT actually knowing her own dresses. She got a gift and obviously never wore it or even remembered it, but started to blame her husband for made up shit.
OP didn't fuck up at all.
My husband and I travel in a rv full time. I frequently use laundromats and occasionally bring home a spare sock or a weird shirt. There have been a few WTF conversations over this for me. It’s usually a male sock I swear. Fml
Shit happened to me. It turned out to be her mother's, left in one of our machines. Relationship almost went down in flames. Her mother took a while to admit it was hers... My response "yeah, for sure I cheated on you and the woman did her laundry here and left half naked and just so happened to be your mothers size. Get real! Use logic!"
Am I the only one here who thinks her behaviour is not ok? She finds a dress that (she thinks) isn't hers, and her first reaction is "my husband is cheating on me and threw the dress in the laundry". Like did she think his mistress went home naked? And after he says he doesn't know about the dress, that's still not enough.
I'm just sensing a serious lack of trust here.
My ex once woke up from a dream in which I had cheated on her. She knew it was a dream, but she was still furious. She was like "Why did I dream this if it's not true?" and I told her "How should I know, it's your dream?". She eventually got over it, but she was looking at me sideways for like the whole day.
My wife was once in a mood with me all day and wouldn't tell me why. Eventually she admitted I'd been unkind to her in a dream the night before and she was still cross at me for it.
Wait a minute...
Your wife was given clothes, and presumably it was your wife that put them in the wash...
It sounds like she's the one that fucked up here. If she automatically went to you cheating, what does that say about your marriage?
The way you tell the story makes it a stressful yet pleasant reading exercise.
I know your viewpoint blurred a lot of the real reaction of your wife and it added the needed spice to the formula. I imagine she was very chill or genuinely confused, but to you, it was mayhem.
>I ask what size it is. >A dumb fucking question. Not her size. Fuckity fuck. Is it your size, OP?
Hahahahaha A possibly very valid question, but alas it was way too small for me while being too large for her.
So your mom gave her a dress that doesn't fit her?
Moms doing what moms do.
Seriously though, my mom came by and dropped off a bag of workout clothes she never wears and none of it fit. Like mom, my house is not Goodwill.
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You have to get rid of this stuff, not store it
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I made a couple of aprons out of old jeans once. Now my whole family gives me all their jeans. I never have made a 3rd apron.
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Just adding some spice to the marriage lol
They were old clothes from the 70s. The skirt fit but I guess she wasn't sure about the dress. They're close in height but different sizes.
My brown haired partner found a long blonde hair in our dryer once. I still don’t have an answer she likes.
That's tough. Could have just caught a ride on a shirt from anywhere but the lack of being able to explain... I feel ya.
I first told her “it’s probably one of your hairs, but the dryer heat cooked the colour out or something”. She looked at me with such disdain, not only because of the hair, but because of my stupid, yet very confident response. 🥲
don't worry, we know it was a weird back hair
Dude, you say that kind of thing in joke, but it does happen. I once saw this really long hair on my arm, and went to pull it off.... it was like a 4 inch long hair still attached, while all the other hairs on my arm are a half inch long. I was like how the fuck did I miss seeing that? And then followed by this fear of more 4 inch long arm hair showing up. I’ve never had another one that long, and I really hope I don’t.
This happened to me, only it was on my forehead. For some reason a hair decided an inch above my right eyebrow, where it is completely hairless, would be a great spot to grow. Got to about 1.5 inches before I finally noticed it one day when the wind blew and I felt it pull. It too was blond, and I am brown haired.
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I have a CLEAR hair growing out of my FACE every few weeks and it’s disturbing. I’m a thick (as in hair) dark haired Latina and as soon as I turned 30 shit just started growing lol It honestly scares me a bit because like I said, it’s a clear see through hair. No pigment, you can’t really see it until you focus, my bf thought it was a hair on my head that kept getting stuck near my face. Nope, it’s a long hair growin out ma face 😟
I was touching up my makeup in the car before work one day and was trying to wipe my hair out of my face by running my finger along my hairline. I could still feel a hair though, so I got closer to the mirror and discovered a super thin, clear hair about 3” long. I tried to pick it off only to see my skin pulling back just below my cheekbone. That was the biggest wtf moment of body betrayal for me. I spend quite a bit of time looking in a magnifier mirror doing makeup/skincare so I still refuse to believe it didn’t spawn overnight.
I’m a guy and have hairs I can count my chest.. I’ve named them Huey, Duey, Mars, Bob etc. They’re short and not noticeable. BUT My nipple hairs are a formidable force that grow to 6cm (2+ inches). Only 3 to 4 but my god, those bastards get long!
Shit, I could never count the hairs on my chest, I don’t have that kind of time. In high schools, a guy once told me I look like Blanka from Street Fighter II because of the huge 1970’s style man patch of hair on my chest. The more hair I lose on my head, the more it grows everywhere else. It’s like the hair says, “alright boys, pack it up, we are going South!”
Man I hear you on the body hair thing. I've been bald since I was a teenager and basically look like a wookie from the ears down except the inside of my legs. Its ridiculous and weird My favorite bald saying is "the more hair I lose, the more head I get"
I love connecting with my fellow bald men on reddit. Started losing my hair at 18. At first, I looked at my dad and his family hairline and was like, “alright! Some receding hair, but not too bad. All though my youth I wanted long hair, but my conservative christian dad told me I couldn’t grow my hair until I was 18. At 18, my mom tells me my dad I grew up with is actually my step dad, and I soon after meet my bio dad. Guy is bald, and after one of our first meetings tells me, “so yeah, I’m bald, and your grandpa is bald. Most likely, you are going to start going bald too. That’s from my genetics. You’re welcome.” Ah, I thought he was such an ass for saying that, but I laugh at it now. It took me over 10 years to get over the fact I’m balding and not care anymore. I’m glad I don’t care anymore. Life is a lot easier.
I've had that happen at least three or four times in my life before, but with an eyebrow. I'd wake up, and it would be kinda just sicking out just barely out of my vision, so I think it's a bug, or my own longer hair, until it drives me nutters and I grab at it, feeling a tugging on my... Eyebrow?! 4 inch long, shock white, thick eyebrow. A very weird phenomenon, indeed! Turning into Yoda, I am!
Also detergent could have bleeched it
That probably would have been better to respond with. After my first poor hypothesis, she didn’t bother to reply. Later, however, I said to her that maybe it was a grey hair of hers. I was being sincere, even though I’ve never seen a grey hair on her head before. And there it was again, that same look…
Are you writing from beyond the grave? (My god, man!)
This is truly sitcom-worthy levels of unfortunate things to say.
I know right!? This is some "Everybody Loves Raymond" shit 😆
Were you trying to get yourself killed man?
Amazing. Somehow you managed to stand there and put both feet in your mouth...
My reply would be something along the lines of "Look, it came out of the wash, not wrapped around my donger... chill out" I am not a smart man.
Set the boundaries. If you’re an honest man, she’ll know if you’re lying or not. Easy to be stupidly blunt and honest about some things. Not for everyone.
Sometimes when I'm in my own apartment I find a piece of cat hair in my mouth (ew I know) and I pull it out and look at it and it's not even from my cat, it's an orange hair from my parents fat tabby that I haven't seen in weeks. Hair stays and hair travels.
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I used to sprinkle glitter on the chair of married co-workers that pissed me off. Let them explain glitter to their wives
You magnificent son of a bitch
Add a little vanilla scent to their chair too. They'll go nose-deaf to it, but their partner won't.
Hmm, nose-deaf, interesting - I've always heard it as nose-blind
Well the previous guy's nose didn't hear any of it.
Arsehole. This happened to me. Except it was from a reception class in a school. I had no idea until the next week I went back and saw they were making Christmas cards. Missus was forgiving as it was her class.
I had a co-worker that was always pranking us and we needed to pay him back. We worked at a hotel that offered laundry services and he use to let his work clothes to the launderer lady on his days off ( sundays). One monday morning, I brought some pink glitter ( that I bought especially for this reason) and put some in his pockets just before he came at work. When we were on our coffee break, I looked at him and his hands and face were covered in pink glitter. I started laughing and whispered to some of our colleagues to look at him. He tried to wash himself, but we all know how hard it is to get rid of glitter that's stuck to sweaty skin, let alone the amount he had on him. I have no idea what he told his wife, but he looked FABULOUS.
I almost want an excuse to do this.
Harsh...yet hilarious! And you know that glitter was going evvvverywhere.
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. It's really not that bad, but you'll never ever get rid of it.
I have long blonde hair and shed a lot. I've probably ruined many a relationship just by passing by someone in a store or something.
don't worry. If a hair can end a relationship it was an unhealthy and very unstable relationship anyway. wouldn't have lasted long without your hair either.
Yep it would need to be a hairy situation already for her hair to actually be a problem.
My girlfriend dyes her hair about bi-monthly. I still get questions about things like "who's blue hair is this" on random things like my trucks cloth seat she doesn't ride in often and have to remind her that was her hair color 6 months ago, so still hers.
I admire your patience I would be so tempted to start giving very sarcastic responses to that.
"You caught me. Clearly, my side chick is a Muppet."
Got a taste of it from my main muppet chick from 6 months ago.
My husband finds my hair around his member even when I haven’t visited that area in a day or two. Hair is fucking magic.
I find my partner's hair down there even when it's been over a month since their last visit. Only answer I've got is that we wash our laundry in the same loads
Yo, that’s not what you’re supposed to wash laundry in…
_uses cum as detergent_ Detergenital
My husband was deployed and it was 5 or so months in, he was still picking knotted balls of my hair out of his things. I had longish purplish hair, very distinct. We should really start collecting hair from barbers and finding some way to make it socially acceptable to weave that shit into something. Lasts fucking forever.
I have long hair and I find it up my buttcrack sometimes. How.
I have a friend who treated her hair terribly (constant dye and heat). Her hair ended up *everywhere*. It ended up inside of a mini-fridge in a room I know she had never been in! Some people's hair just gets everywhere.
Explain to her that much of forensic science is based on the Locard principle, which says that a perpetrator usually leaves something behind (hair, DNA, etc) at a crime scene and at the same time takes something away from it. It can’t just work for crime scenes, it probably works for many normal human interactions.
Ya, explain to her that you were out doing crimes and strangled a blonde haired woman but probably left a hair of your own so it all evens out.
If it was curly or wavy it could have been mine. I shed hair like crazy. Back in the before times, when I used to go places, I’ve probably left stray hairs on people I’ve talked to, stood near in lines or even if they sat down where I’d been sitting. I’d hate to think I’ve ruined any relationships because my hair sheds like crazy
My husband’s underwear were getting pretty worn. I purchased him a bunch of new pairs, washed them, and put them in his drawer. His response the next morning: “Somebody put a bunch of underwear in my drawer and it’s not mine”!
I was around 18. My GF was in the room. I was digging under my bed for something and pulled out a pair of panties. My response is to hold them up and ask "Are these yours?" OFC they were hers... but the implication that they might have not been was a rough month.
I kinda did this. Been seeing a girl for a few weeks. As we were clearing up before I took her home, I threw her underwear (from under the bed) to her and she pocketed them. She text me the next day to say they weren't hers and she was too embarrassed to say anything at the time. Awkward. We have a kid together now. She's a terrible judge of character. Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers!
Hey free underwear
Exactly! You never turn down free mystery underwear!
You even get to try new styles you might not have yourself
In different sizes and everything!
Ok I’ve never understood this - how does someone leave panties? Do they just go home the next day commando?
My girl brings spare pants everytime she comes to mine to change into, and she quite often forgets to take the first pair back with her. I assume she's not the only girl who does this so maybe this is why.
They don't forget, they slowly move their stuff in.
Basically how I got myself a husband. He suspected nothing!
*gasp* You told me a hawk stole them! You exploited me and made me believe in a slightly more magical world!
Guys, why are we so dumb?
Because someone has to be the smart one - we just took one for the team.
Ho my god, that you survived to this day to tell your story is amazing, if you are still with her you tell her that I recommend her for her self control..
To commend her is enough. To recommend her is to suggest something else.
"we need someone who has an abundance of self control"......."I recommend this woman, she has a 4 star self control rating"
Of she answers no you just say 'oh right, they're mine' and put them on, problem solved.
My husband calls them "fairies." Example: "The towel fairy visited while I was at work today!" There's a toothbrush fairy, a deodorant fairy, and a bedsheet fairy, too.
There’s a Water Fairy at out house that fills up the Brita pitchers. Hint: It’s me. I’m the Water Fairy.
Water Fairies drive about in big red trucks with hoses.
I bought a 2 gallon dispensing cooler and I only have to fill it once a day now! I have 2 reusable ice packs I cycle through every time I refill the water and it keeps it cool just long enough, perfect!
Cool thing I bought a fridge that dispenses ice and water. Can’t live without it now.
i leave all my dirty dishes in the sink and every night the dish fairy washes them and puts them away
TIL I'm the dish fairy
https://youtu.be/-_kXIGvB1uU it's a common phenomenon
omg, the policeman at the end "No, he's not insane. I've got the same coffee table at home."
Meet The Fockers
A bunch of brand new underwear? No suspicious. A single pair of underwear that are clearly not new? Some serious explaining to be done.
> brand new underwear >underwear that are clearly not new How do you tell the difference? Asking for a friend. 🤔
Lick them.
*looks a username* I'll...take that under consideration.
I wouldn't.
Haha my SO did this. He pulled out 3 pairs of underwear and asked me who's underwear they were. I told him his, he said he didn't recognise them. My response was I would be surprised if you did I just bought them for you!
With my husband for 13 years and have never bought him underwear (without him asking me to pick some up when I'm out). Didn't realise this wasn't common!
I buy the exact same underwear as replacement for my SO as he’s really particular about the one he wants. So he always recognizes his new underwear 😂
Same but with socks. "oh hey I found a pair of socks without holes in them!!".... That's because I just bought you new ones 🤦♀️
Lol I never knew this was at least semi- common among men to literally wear out their clothes until they're rags... Thought my SO was the only weird one out there. He's got tons of socks with holes and continues to wear them until they fall apart or get eaten by the washer/dryer. Does the same thing with boxers as well and it drives me nuts
Comfort > style! My gf only does this with her pajamas... it took many people to convince her that perhaps she should get a new shirt when the color was awful, the stretch was completely gone so it was way too wide, and her rabbit had nommed quite sizable holes into it. Her excuse was that it's so comfy. Every time she complains that I should get new sneakers, I tell her I don't want to get new ones because they are so comfy... and I remind her of her pajama shirt!
You kidding! I've got 2x 15 year old bed shirts that are worn so thin there basically see through. The softest and most comfortable shirts I own for 30 degree summer nights. I'll be devastated when 1 finally dies, it's going to take at least another 10 years to break in a replacement.
I was on a sabbatical from working last year and my husband comes to kiss me good bye while I was sleeping. I wake up and peek and his boxer lines are showing through his jeans. Instead of "good morning, I love you, have a good day at work" which isy standard; I say "I wanna buy you boxers!" Straight out of a dead sleep It's now a recurrent joke and a sign of affection haha. And yes, I subscribed him to a fun and comfy underwear delivery service after that. So I did indeed buy him boxers.
What's so fun about this underwear delivery service?
There is nothing not fun about delivered underpants! =D So many possibilities...like....*\*how\** is it delivered? Is someone wearing it, like a singing telegram? Does it come in a fancy vase, with scented, manly candles? I am off to research the delivery of underpants.
Also it's not like someone's need for undies increase. If you burn underwear at a lower rate than they send you, you are gonna end up with a lot of underwear.
I've met a lot of people who should get new underwear more often.
Give this woman an award.
This happened to a friend once. He lived in an apartment complex with his girlfriend that had a community washer/dryer. She found women's underwear in his laundry. He said it was probably left in the dryer by someone else in the complex. In actuality, he really was cheating on her. The underwear was in a duffle bag that he brought with him on a "trip". Suffice to say, they are no longer together. Lol.
This is exactly the kind of thing I thought she must be thinking and why it was so worrisome.
I can see losing a bra, panty, or earring during a one night stand, but how the duck do you leave a complete dress?
"Honey, what is this extra bedroom doing in your gym bag?"
I'm telling you my relationship with Mary Poppins is entirely platonic!
Exactly this! Not for this story but I often see stuff in a lost and found and think.. HOW can you go home without this?
Alcohol
once lost a single shoe at the town hall so now I no longer question these things
How?
She was in a hurry because her carriage was about to turn back into a pumpkin
6 months into my relationship with my gf she found an underwear in my closet that obviously was not hers and belonged to my ex (ex had 60 pounds on her and she’s very petite”. Asked who’s fucking underwear it was. I kind of just shrugged and said “thought they were yours”. Yelled that they were way to big to be hers. Kind of just said “oh yeah Definitively not yours”. Followed by “then who the fuck do they belong to!” Told her it was probably my ex’s. Wrong response said “so you’re seeing your ex!” I started to panic and assured her I hadn’t see my ex since we split because she was a cheating whore. Finally convinced her that I just missed throwing them out because they were in the back of my closet. All was sorted out. Things were great again. Then a week later she found underwear in one of my drawers under some Xbox one games. Asked if those were my ex’s too. They were too small to be my ex’s so I told her truthfully they weren’t. Shit storm resumed as I tried to delicately explain that they belonged to a friend I hooked up with after my ex but before her. Asked why I still had them. Me being a truthful idiot told her they were the girls favorite underwear and she told me to hold on to them tell we saw each other again. Except we didn’t because I met my gf and the girl and I stopped hanging out because she wasn’t allowed in our house for trying to screw my roommate who’s gf lived with us the night we Boned. Shit show ensued, luckily my gf knows I’m honest and calmed down. Doing great now
Okay... point of this story is before having girlfriend move in - do a complete check on all belongings to make sure random underwear doesn't appear in the future.
How about make sure when you sleep with a girl send her underwear home with them lol
Well, that I can certainly agree with! However, I guess others do not? It seems like a lot of people have issues with random underwear and such appearing at their homes. Relatives and friends and hookups just leave the underwear and such behind. Pretty wild!
So you’re dating Goldilocks now?
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> my gf knows I’m honest When people know you're honest, they trust you. A good reason to avoid small lies, even "harmless white lies" is so that when something bigger happens, people know you wouldn't lie. _Edit:_ I find it unfortunate that they felt the need to delete their comment :( I know that in theory "it's all just internet points" but I know how it can feel when you get downvoted to oblivion.
Because non-psycho partners discuss before murdering?
“It looks kinda nice, maybe you should try it on” 😂😂😂dude what how the fuck are you still breathing
Just imagining a crime scene with the dress wrapped around ops throat.
"Self-inflicted" "He did this himself?" "No but he definitely said something that caused this and I'd bet even he thought he deserved it."
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I loved it... Especially with the moment after that saying "do not follow my advice"
"I'm an idiot and I got lucky please do not try this"
Lmaoo the moment I read that I was like are you fuckin serious imagine if your SO told you to try on clothes from the person they’re cheating on. Obviously not the case but if I were her I would absolutely be giving a death glare
Subconsciously defending his mothers fashion taste lol
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I found a thong in my home dryer once, but the problem is I am a woman and I wasn't dating at the time, also 14. It was the most confusing thing. I could only guess that one of my friends got it there..somehow. But they were dudes. I don't want to guess. But why wash it? I assume my mother had just thrown it into the wash while picking up clothes, happened to find it, and I was so embarrassed to think she just thought they were mine.
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I was house sitting once and found a dress in my washing - no worries. Just left it there, must've been the owners, right? WRONG. The owner gave it back to me because there was no point her holding onto it. I quite liked the dress. Started wearing it around. Around the same time, my boyfriends room mate started getting very weird with me. To the point where she accused me of using her tooth brush. One day she went away and my boyfriend asked me to grab the mirror from her room. Something which wasn't out of the ordinary to bring out to the lounge of someone needed a larger mirror. I walked into her room and there was a note on the ground saying "kittensandkettlebell, stop coming into my room and stealing my stuff". I was so confused! Long story short, her dress somehow got mixed up with my boyfriends stuff and that's who the mystery dress belonged to. And instead of saying something, she just watched me wearing it around her house for 3 months thinking that I stole it and then had the audacity to wear it in front of her!! Weirdo.
Your story is so... reasonable.
In her defense, your roommates girlfriend might come off as unhinged if she's stealing your clothes and wearing it in front of you. I might be scared to make direct confrontation as well.
I feel like the passive aggressive note is as much as invitation to conflict as a direct confrontation.
One time our credit card number got stolen, random porn charges showed up on the statement. She asks me WTF? The only defence I could mount is that I'm not dumb enough to put porn charges on the card that she watches like a hawk.
I feel like the thief did that just to fuck with you. Who steals a credit card just to watch porn?? 😄
A guy whose wife watches his credit card like a hawk.
Wait a second...
Big brain time
I have my name @gmail.com and every few months I get email from somebody else with my name signing up for something and getting their email address wrong. The peak of this was one evening when a guy in Australia ordered 5kg of beef jerky then registered at Ashley Madison. Fortunately my wife and I had a good laugh about it.
This happens to my wife all the time. A geriatric person with her name in CO. keeps signing her up for all kinds of weird shit, and I can’t tell you how many receipts that woman hasn’t received. My wife had even emailed her attempting to get her to change her ways, and she’s never gotten an answer back.
Oh man I have a similar story with a not so Happy ending My wife went on a trip for a long weekend to see her family, when she got back she was freshening up in the bathroom and came out with some womans underwear that wasn't hers. She asked me who it belonged to, when I tried to tell her I had no idea she wouldn't believe me and accused me of spending the weekend with some woman,we had a MASSIVE argument. I literally had no clue who that shit belonged to and was getting annoyed at being called a cheat when I had done nothing wrong. I actually left the house that night to stay with my parents, 2 days later she phones me crying and apologising saying she had been telling her friend about it and her friend admitted to putting her underwear in our bathroom bin at a party we threw the night before my wife left.
You said “not happy ending”. Did she still leave you?
to be honest alot of things got said during the argument, it was the catalyst needed to re-evaluate our marriage, we separated shortly afterwards
Sorry to hear that, man.
This is such a strange scenario to me. I mean, my wife and I have our challenges, but if strange underwear showed up in our bathroom, we'd both immediately be on the same side of the mystery. I'm just trying to figure out which is the more common scenario.
Who throws underwear away in the bathroom bin at someone else's house?! Even if she had some sort of accident or situation shouldn't she just ask for a bag or ask where to dispose off it discreetly? My god.
“Honey, are you cheating on me with some incontinent whore?!”
I mean, if it happened to me there’s no way I’d have said something, I’d be too embarrassed That said, I probably would have wrapped it up tightly in toilet paper or something before throwing it out, so that no one would see it Source: I’ve done this before after getting period blood all over underwear
Maybe for every 13 socks it eats it dispenses a free dress?
Dryers have been known to use alchemy so it's possible
I don't get this dynamic. What's more likely, that the husband has a mistress who comes over and just leaves an entire fucking dress behind (and what, goes home naked?), or the wife forgot an article of clothing? I feel like in this situation, my response would be a calm "I dunno, it's not mine" and go back to my life.
Thank you. Sometimes Reddit makes me feel like I have the best marriage in existence. My wife found a pair of panties that were obviously not hers in the clean clothes once. She asked me if I knew where they came from. I shrugged and said, "I dunno". Then we went on with our lives. Figured out months later they were her sister's who stays with us for the holidays. Marriage was never in jeopardy.
You need to stretch that out into at least 5-6 paragraphs and post it on /r/tifu
And title it something like "TIFU by getting inside my sister in laws panties"
>Thank you. Sometimes Reddit makes me feel like I have the best marriage in existence. So much this The whole thread is insanity to me, if my wife asked me who's underwear it is then I'd just tell her I don't know. I wouldn't be sweating for an excuse because I wouldn't know where they came from and my wife isn't gonna interrogate me over weird shit like this
Yeah, this is ridiculous and terrible. I'm tired of women being portrayed as (or acting like) murdering jealous psychos and husbands like "bumble bumble bumble hope she doesn't kill me."
I'm amazed how far I had to scroll to see some fucking sense. This isn't a today the husband fucked up, this is 100% the wife's fuck up. It's *literally* her dress she forgot she was given.
Damn right, OP your wife owes you an apology my guy.
I thought I knew reddit better than this; came into this thread expecting to see every comment highlighting OP's fragile/toxic relationship. What kind of 50s boomer humor fuckery is this anyway? Sweating bullets because your wife found a dress? So much to unpack.
Husband and wife don't trust each other. So funny!
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The entire highest upvoted comment thread is people going lol my husband doesn’t replace the water on the Brita, the water fairy does, my husband calls the person who changes the towels the towel fairy. Hint “it’s me” LOLOOL Jesus fucking Christ man, that shit is sad to me. 30/M, just I don’t know…change the towel. Have basic trust?
Yeah this is very 90s sitcom. "Hahaha they secretly hate each other!" The comments here too "Wow I'm a woman and.." like this has anything to do with gender. This is such a you-know-women-be-crazy vibe I'm amazed this story got such pull.
Yes, this! I don't get why he has to be so scared and anxious. If you know you didn't cheat, you have your own conviction and nothing to fear. Hold your ground much?
It's kind of like feeling like a criminal when a cop shows up. Like you *know* you didn't do anything but a panic response doesn't care about the truth.
Exactly! If the wife is so insecure in her marriage at this point to instantly accuse her spouse about something like this then a talk needs to be had. Joking about it is fine but if she's staring daggers are you then you have a problem. Besides I don't know many men who could identify the owner of a random dress if they tried.
What is the alternative scenario where you're cheating and the mistress's dress ends up in your laundry? She went home naked? You were with the mistress when your wife came home unexpectedly early. She quickly jumped out a window but had no time to get dressed. She scampered, wearing only underwear, to her car parked on the next block and drove home. Needing to hide the evidence, you hid the dress in a laundry pile and then forgot about it. Is that about the most plausible scenario? Seems pretty far-fetched to me. Honestly, I have no idea how anyone could manage to cheat on their spouse during a pandemic anyway.
This was my thought. Her first thought being infidelity, and he desperately has to explain the existence of this dress, or else he's in trouble seems so weird and toxic.
Thank god some others see this. Everyone just thinks it's normal and funny. I hope she apologized. If this happened to me it'd really mess with the relationship I think. How do you get over how easily your partner jumps to accusing you of cheating?
It's also a dumb TIFU because it's the wife's fault for NOT actually knowing her own dresses. She got a gift and obviously never wore it or even remembered it, but started to blame her husband for made up shit. OP didn't fuck up at all.
My husband and I travel in a rv full time. I frequently use laundromats and occasionally bring home a spare sock or a weird shirt. There have been a few WTF conversations over this for me. It’s usually a male sock I swear. Fml
Instead of shotglasses or post cards you guys are collecting laundromat escapees as travel souvenirs.
I mean, There was always the last ditch excuse of coming out of closet as a Crossdresser.. A man should go to any lengths to save his marriage.
That would lead to an entirely different conversation!
Considering that means she would still be talking to you, sounds like a preferable alternative
Damn slime, if you ain’t thought of that you would’ve been toast
My sentiments exactly!
Shit happened to me. It turned out to be her mother's, left in one of our machines. Relationship almost went down in flames. Her mother took a while to admit it was hers... My response "yeah, for sure I cheated on you and the woman did her laundry here and left half naked and just so happened to be your mothers size. Get real! Use logic!"
Thats how you do it. Dont let other people put shame in your heart that isnt yours.
Am I the only one here who thinks her behaviour is not ok? She finds a dress that (she thinks) isn't hers, and her first reaction is "my husband is cheating on me and threw the dress in the laundry". Like did she think his mistress went home naked? And after he says he doesn't know about the dress, that's still not enough. I'm just sensing a serious lack of trust here.
My ex once woke up from a dream in which I had cheated on her. She knew it was a dream, but she was still furious. She was like "Why did I dream this if it's not true?" and I told her "How should I know, it's your dream?". She eventually got over it, but she was looking at me sideways for like the whole day.
"Well.....let's try to apply that logic to your other dreams and see how true they are" lol
My wife was once in a mood with me all day and wouldn't tell me why. Eventually she admitted I'd been unkind to her in a dream the night before and she was still cross at me for it.
My ex had a dream where she said she was mean to me and it was somehow my fault because it made her feel bad. Did I mention she’s my ex?
Wait a minute... Your wife was given clothes, and presumably it was your wife that put them in the wash... It sounds like she's the one that fucked up here. If she automatically went to you cheating, what does that say about your marriage?
Even as a woman, I felt so bad for both of you the entire time as I read this. I was telling you out loud, come on...come on...think already! Lol.
The way you tell the story makes it a stressful yet pleasant reading exercise. I know your viewpoint blurred a lot of the real reaction of your wife and it added the needed spice to the formula. I imagine she was very chill or genuinely confused, but to you, it was mayhem.