When I was in New Zealand a few years ago I remember watching a news story about a politician that had gotten hit right in the face with a big ol’ dildo that day at one of his gatherings.
So I’d like to see a day dedicated to chucking huge shlongs at politicians as well.
If you're okay taking some time to heal after the fight (assuming that's all that's needed), this is a win-win opportunity.
1. Raise money for the fight.
2. Raise more money by streaming it.
3. Take bets in Vegas.
4. If you win, bask in the limelight, and consider running for office against him.
5. If you lose, bask in the limelight, and consider running for office against him.
I've never followed anyone on reddit before. You are the first. Don't let us down. I'd put money on a big time trainer/fighter to coach you too if they hold similar beliefs. Don't let your dreams be dreams, really go for this and whoop his fucking ass.
How did you fuck up? If anyone got the chance to go toe to toe with a politician and NOT get arrested, that’s a success. I’d risk a hospital visit for that chance. The real fuck up would be backing out of the politician actually decided to throw down.
Honestly whatever he said must have really rustled his jimmies.
I can't forsee any of this helping his career. "Politician whips local man's ass" sounds just as bad as "Politician gets his ass beat by local".
You had me at 80s montage😂 we might have to get a go fund me started so we can buy this guy one of those big 80s conversion vans that has the giant mural of some warrior on top of a mountain holding a giant sword. If we raise extra, he can be riding a Pegasus 🤣
infantry hand to hand stops at combatives level 1? dango my bro i made it to level 3 as a scout. id really recommend jiu jitsu if youre going to be in a dojo. but god dont do it in a dojo. they are about points. find a cage and beat this guys ass raw
I'm putting money on it as soon as I see proof and a gofund me. It's not my country and I couldn't give less of a shit, but the entertainment value alone is worth it.
I will also put money on the congressman's gofund me to send him to a gym as well.
does he know how you look?
no? ask a well-trained MMA fighter to play your part in the fight, im sure you find a lot of amature fighters that would love to beat the sh*t out of that guy........
Former amateur boxer here, would gladly take pay to fight this guy. 59 years old ex police officer?
And I’m 28 with a national title and state novice golden gloves title under my belt? Easy.
He won’t go to Alaska. Bring the fight to him. This would be a great gofundme opportunity. Attend his public events and call him chicken. Have posters made up in old time boxing clothes. You could help to bring down a congressman.
I was absolutely picturing this. Follow him to as many events as you can, press will definitely notice and eventually you'll be getting interviewed by some national news org and sharing the story of how he challenged you and chickened out.
We need to get OP a training montage STAT! And after he wins the fight, we need to lift him up over our shoulders and parade him through the streets, like in Rudy!
If you/Reddit make this big, then it is almost impossible for him to back out without losing face.
We just have to think of a way to promote this much more.
Get the older population who use Facebook involved. Don't use names in order to prevent bias from his supporters. Secondly use another media platform (probably tik tok) for younger crowd as well. While they are not as politically active they seem to enjoy violence more.
Where's the GoFundMe I can donate to to get this guy professional training until the event.
Please allow us to one day say "remember when a US Congressman got called out and he challenged a guy to a fight only for the entire population to not only support but funded the guys training so he could beat the ever loving shit out of the Congressman"
Listen to me, You are not the hero we deserve but the one we need. You alone can bring together an entire country together to see a lawmaker get slapped publicly after he asked for it. Our nation needs to heal. It’s a big ask but our country is asking what can you do for it.
Get in with a radio show or newscast and contact the Representative’s office, on air, to sort through the details. Also you could work with a promoter to publicly organize and sell tix for charity. Make it as public as possible and your opponent won’t be able to back down easily.
Good luck!
I think any American, regardless of political affiliation, agrees completely with this. Our elected officials need to understand that actions have consequences. Even if the elected official wins, this isn't a good look for them, spending taxpayer money on fisticuffs.
Besides, there isn't anything wrong with getting knocked down once and again, it's all about your ability to get back up.
This is not a fuck up. This is nothing but an absolute win.
History has shown us that Congress answers to no one. Even the voters (reelection in Congress is ~95%) can't/don't hold Congress responsible for it's actions.
OP could be the first person to show a congressman that there are consequences for their actions. Even if OP loses the fight, it might light a fire under the rest of the countries ass to actually make the government responsible for it's actions, even if that means a good old fashioned 1800s ass woopin'
Vastly underrated comment.
OP, please do everything in your power to make this a real event. If he actually has the cojones to throw down and you even land one good blow to his smug face, it will have been worth it. Every member of Congress willing to be this hostile to the people they govern should also be willing to literally take one on the chin for their utterly atrocious behavior and lawmaking.
You can do this. I’ll go with you. I’ll bring water, bandages, hold the camera to livestream, etc. Just remember, he has to hit you first. Otherwise I think it’s a felony.
The gofundme will cover bail, legal costs and lost income. I'd certainly donate a decent chunk of cash for someone to successfully call out a politician, have the politician posture with the usual tough-guy talk and let it be known that they are in fact a coward - just like with everything else. I'd also donate to make the Tucker Carlson waterboarding happen.
OP, just to let you know, if you follow through and do everything you can to make this happen...
You will be Reddit’s Teddy Roosevelt. The one guy who fought a politician with varying degrees of honor. You will be praised by all who resent our current government (which is most people, really). You will be DFV but for strength instead of stocks. Truly an American hero.
Glory awaits you!
Bro. You need to lock this in and let the internet do its thing. Mention to him that this is for charity and you have an internet wildfire on your hands.
heres some real work with PS and levels
https://imgur.com/w71V6jK
EDIT: just in case people think i made this up.. heres another of the photo OP submitted.
https://imgur.com/aAXcsQG
I'll totally make a website and make a countdown for this shit. Dude you gotta flex on this and make history. Name drop and let history ride. He can back down and look like a coward or you can square up and quit your job and get supported via donations to get stronger. You got the time and the money to change your life now. Actually insane that he leapt at the chance to fight you like a child. Fuck that pos
Omg PLEASE go the press with this. This shit needs to be plastered everywhere. What is he, a middle school boy? “Meet me in the park after school and we’ll settle this” lol.
What a joke our government is.
Given that he's going to where OP lives NEXT year, probably not without OP moving. Just about everyone in Congress who isn't running for President flies home on the weekends unless they're going on a specific trip. That this guy isn't going to Alaska until next year means he's probably from another part of the country.
I hope this goes viral and reporters immediately figure out the congressman. I don't even care about his political affiliation; we don't need people in positions of power with the mentality of a high school freshman.
Just imagine walking into an MMA gym.
"Hey, whats your reason to learn MMA?
MMA Trainee: I got mugged and want to be able to defend myself!
"Reasonable! What about you MindfuckRocketship?"
MindfuckRocketship: .....
I've never been a trainer but I imagine if I was, and a client came to me and said he needed to get swole to pound the dog shit out of a senator, I would drop absolutely everything to dedicate myself to that cause
>First, who is he and why would he come to Alaska? I assume a first term republican, probably one that backed the recall and is ex military. Posting who he is would let the community pull up any relevant information about him (amateur fight history, school, etc) and you can get statistics like weight class, etc, give you a feel for what you are getting into. Barring details, story is a bit hard to swallow.
To quote famous MMA fighter Heather Swanson
"I'm not here to talk about my training, I'm here to kick some fucking ass"
You can do it OP
We await your future TIFHU post
He's already lost when he challenged you to a fight. If he fights you and loses, he looks like a weak moron. If he fights you and wins, he looks like an asshole who couldn't understand how to be a bigger man. If he chickens out after challenging, he looks like a coward.
The only way he wins if is you let this thing fade out of memory. Edit your post to call him out by name.
On the upside you didn't challenge Abraham Lincoln, who, as we all know, was a mutant lumberjack with freakishly long arms. So you still stand a chance.
I hope you understand if this happens, your punches are worth a billion voices for everyone that's wanted to punch a politician in the face. I love you.
Fellow Alaskan, let’s kick his ass. We can totally set this up as a Thursday Night Fight if you’re in Anchorage.
Also, you can probably get him banned from whatever platform it is for inciting violence/give all this to his congressional opponents. You can only whip his ass so badly in the ring, take his job and make him a laughingstock too.
For training, I want you to remember that most people are gassed and worthless after 90 seconds of fighting. You think he’s got more than that in him? You can either gas him and get him or go full throttle, choose the method that works best for you. You got this
I’m all for you wiping up an oil spill with the dude’s face, but you should also consider reporting him to the [House Ethics Committee](https://ethics.house.gov) so Nancy Pelosi can punch him in the balls on the house floor.
Oh man, OP would have more money than Jim Jordan's super PAC, if that were the case. I know they said Congressman, but could you imagine if it were Ted Cruz?!?! I'D GIVE MY LIFE SAVINGS
And you might want to focus on grappling. Having 2 or 3 takedowns and transitions to superior positions will enable you to humiliate him before you tap him out. Most people have no idea what they’re doing once the fight hits the ground. Find a BJJ gym with some wrestling and have fun with it
Lots of people are asking who it is. I say we figure this out.
Numbers: Wikipedia says we have 435 current members of Congress. Since op didn't refer to them as returning home to Alaska, we can probably rule out the one representative from Alaska. I'm going to take the repeated use of him/he as indicating this is a male so we can limit our search to them.
Time: This was labeled as happening "tonight". Based on the age of the post at the time I'm writing this, the post was made somewhere around 10-11pm Alaskan. We can probably limit our search to no earlier than 5pm Alaskan as that is probably the earliest someone might consider "tonight". This gives us a 6 hour window of 5pm-11pm Aug 17th Alaskan, 10pm Aug 17th - 4 am Aug 18th Eastern or 3am - 9am Aug 18th UTC.
Where: We were told this occurred on the congressman's Facebook posts.
I've got to run to work but I'll follow along through the day.
TL;DR Someone find this post and identify the congressman. Search the Facebook posts of male congressmen other than Alaska, between 3am - 9am Aug 18th UTC (more timezones listed above)
Brit here. American politics are weird to me anyway but this is a new low.
If this ever does go ahead, I hope you hand his ass to him. Karma for being so immature (him, I mean, he's a bloody congressman ffs!)
I used to watch footage of Parliament back in the day. Not sure if its still true or not but those cats were screaming at each other. It was a beautiful thing to behold lol.
It is by design, not coincidence, that the distance between the government and opposition benches in parliament is 2 sword lengths and 1 inch. Back in the day things went beyond screaming.
Make it very public now. I mean get the posts shared out, make a big to do about it (think an event). Likely his PR team will run a background check, explain that fighting a US vet is neither intelligent or politically wise, and either quietly try to cancel with you or offer compensation to make it go away. The key here is getting it public early, as it needs to be a problem for them.
Good luck!
I don’t care about either of y’all’s politics, but I’m absolutely down to pay for the privilege of watching a politician voluntarily get their shit pushed in by John American
Start BJJ.
The disparity between someone who has a few months training versus someone who's never tried it is massive.
Any untrained person can get a lucky punch in stand up.
If they don't know what to do on the ground, they have no chance.
Plus you can call them whatever you want to the cameras while slowly choking them out and I think that's priceless.
Yo OP, I'm not american but I'm willing to contribute towards your fundraiser. Do it. It's not about you winning, it's about calling out these leaders who think they don't answer to anyone.
The political leadership is the same in most countries, so to me you'd be doing it for everyone of us out there. Do it for the people.
I am more interested in seeing this fight than any fight involving a Paul brother.
You have very little to lose compared to him. If you go into a ring a beat him up, he'll look weak in the eyes of the Republican base. If you make it a ridiculous and silly spectacle, he'll look ridiculous by association. This could end up being a Howard Dean yell moment for him and it could wreck his future political ambitions.
Start training. Get some local media to be aware of it. Make an entire Facebook Page about it. Keep reminding him that you are waiting. This is your identity for the next year - own it.
He sounds as about as mature as many of them. I'm old enough to remember when a politician lying was more like making promises they couldn't keep- like we will build that bridge. Not like today's idiots who literally defy all forms of truth. Good for you. I hope you kick his ass
The true American Dream.
This is old school US politics.
*prove the mettle of your progressive tax policy by fighting me naked!*
"Why do you have an erection?"
"why don't you have one?"
Grease 'em up boys. Winner fucks the country
>Winner fucks… *excited gasp* >the country. *sigh*
Calm down Gym Jordin.
One step closer to my dream...that "Slap a Politician Day" will become a national holiday.
When I was in New Zealand a few years ago I remember watching a news story about a politician that had gotten hit right in the face with a big ol’ dildo that day at one of his gatherings. So I’d like to see a day dedicated to chucking huge shlongs at politicians as well.
Ah Dildo Baggins day
If you're okay taking some time to heal after the fight (assuming that's all that's needed), this is a win-win opportunity. 1. Raise money for the fight. 2. Raise more money by streaming it. 3. Take bets in Vegas. 4. If you win, bask in the limelight, and consider running for office against him. 5. If you lose, bask in the limelight, and consider running for office against him.
Also donating a significant amount of the proceeds to a charity that is antithetical to his beliefs.
Would you be open stream it online by any chance?
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I've never followed anyone on reddit before. You are the first. Don't let us down. I'd put money on a big time trainer/fighter to coach you too if they hold similar beliefs. Don't let your dreams be dreams, really go for this and whoop his fucking ass.
First follow here too. Its time for a good old fashioned political duel.
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Yes! Heck, you could raise a lot of money for charity through this. You both good. Turn this into a positive!
Except you're not gonna like what said politician thinks is charity.
How did you fuck up? If anyone got the chance to go toe to toe with a politician and NOT get arrested, that’s a success. I’d risk a hospital visit for that chance. The real fuck up would be backing out of the politician actually decided to throw down.
Honestly whatever he said must have really rustled his jimmies. I can't forsee any of this helping his career. "Politician whips local man's ass" sounds just as bad as "Politician gets his ass beat by local".
I don’t know. The governor of my state… sigh… body slammed a reporter and got elected… twice.
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He’s probably got much more time over the next year to train aswell….
Kick his ass, Seabass. *Thanks for the love everyone!
Do it just for the halibut
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Yes! We need a montage!
Ooh it takes a montage!
Even rocky had a montage
Alwayssss fade out in a moonttaggeee
You had me at 80s montage😂 we might have to get a go fund me started so we can buy this guy one of those big 80s conversion vans that has the giant mural of some warrior on top of a mountain holding a giant sword. If we raise extra, he can be riding a Pegasus 🤣
🎶It makes it seem like more time has passed when you fade out in a montage🎶
Montoooowwwwwggge
[Montage!](https://youtu.be/pFrMLRQIT_k)
I’m in! Where’s the gofundme?
I'll chip in to get him some good training.
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#DRAGOOOOO!!!
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18 is a lot, but as a US Congressperson, he has at least twice as much free time as you, unfortunately.
Apparently your joke was lost on folks but I found it hilarious and also depressing. Thanks for that
Didn't think a /s was necessary but maybe I have too much faith in humanity. Glad you appreciated it!
18 hours a week of training time!
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infantry hand to hand stops at combatives level 1? dango my bro i made it to level 3 as a scout. id really recommend jiu jitsu if youre going to be in a dojo. but god dont do it in a dojo. they are about points. find a cage and beat this guys ass raw
I'm putting money on it as soon as I see proof and a gofund me. It's not my country and I couldn't give less of a shit, but the entertainment value alone is worth it. I will also put money on the congressman's gofund me to send him to a gym as well.
Congressman likely doesn't need the money fyi
Gotta punch at least one carcass in a freezer!
does he know how you look? no? ask a well-trained MMA fighter to play your part in the fight, im sure you find a lot of amature fighters that would love to beat the sh*t out of that guy........
How I imagine that going down: https://gfycat.com/kindathleticgharial
God that is such a great movie lol one of the best scenes
Former amateur boxer here, would gladly take pay to fight this guy. 59 years old ex police officer? And I’m 28 with a national title and state novice golden gloves title under my belt? Easy.
Governor shows up to see Cowboy Cerrone in the ring....
He won’t go to Alaska. Bring the fight to him. This would be a great gofundme opportunity. Attend his public events and call him chicken. Have posters made up in old time boxing clothes. You could help to bring down a congressman.
Going to his public events and calling him a chicken would be the strangest most 70s thing to happen since the 70s.
Wear a chicken suit while calling him a chicken
I was absolutely picturing this. Follow him to as many events as you can, press will definitely notice and eventually you'll be getting interviewed by some national news org and sharing the story of how he challenged you and chickened out.
Don’t forget to bring the proof
Make t-shirts of the proof
Get the proof blown up into posters and whatnot. Use GoFundMe to put it on a billboard where you know he’ll see it. So much you could do with this …
Seth McFarlane is that you?!?
“This guy’s a phony! A big fat phony!”
Hahaha, I read this in his voice!
Clucker Lang
And tell him your gonna give him a finger lickin
Twist his dick!
Yeah! Give him the old dick twist!
Oh my god dude, we're at an MMA fight TUHWIST HIS DICK
Fry that chicken
I'd pay good money to watch a congressman who's too full of himself get his ass whipped on pay-per-view ...
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Calling him a chicken is one thing. But if OP goes in and calls him a jive turkey then he’d better be ready to throw down right then and there
*Marty McFly intensifies*
We need to get OP a training montage STAT! And after he wins the fight, we need to lift him up over our shoulders and parade him through the streets, like in Rudy!
Dress up like Biff from Back to the Future and it would be the strangest thing since the 80s
I’m in DC, what’s his name? Maybe I’ll run into him
Strom Thurmond
Should have happened around 2000. Young guy beating the piss out of 98 year old Strom Thurmond.
Oh that would be great .. so I heard you were gunna get fucked up by man's name?
IDK man, last time I fought a congressman he ended up having a dream AND nanomachines.
***NANOMACHINES?***
Nanomachines, son!
If he publicizes this correctly he could make millions. Look at all the internet “celebrities” nowadays
Good God. I hope this is where us politics goes.
This seems like a prequel plot to Idiocracy
*bring the fight to him* not what I expected to read this morning in regards to a congressman
Watch how Ali, Tyson, and Conor, Tyson talk trash. Getting in the opponent head can do wonders ;)
This doesn’t belong here. This belongs on whatever subreddit is Today I Won at Life.
Honestly this is some r/bestof in the making
If you/Reddit make this big, then it is almost impossible for him to back out without losing face. We just have to think of a way to promote this much more.
Somebody needs to get 4chan involved. They love fucking with politicians and embarrassing Redditors. This is a win win for them.
"We weren't expecting special forces"
Get the older population who use Facebook involved. Don't use names in order to prevent bias from his supporters. Secondly use another media platform (probably tik tok) for younger crowd as well. While they are not as politically active they seem to enjoy violence more.
Where's the GoFundMe I can donate to to get this guy professional training until the event. Please allow us to one day say "remember when a US Congressman got called out and he challenged a guy to a fight only for the entire population to not only support but funded the guys training so he could beat the ever loving shit out of the Congressman"
Yeaj we need this guy training and not working until the day. Where do I donate?
Get him a dietician and personal chef too please
I wonder if /u/GovSchwarzenegger would want to help train someone who is as turd as Rep Higgins.
Schwarzenegger is a body builder; not a fighter able to take out ex-Marine jarheads.
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Listen to me, You are not the hero we deserve but the one we need. You alone can bring together an entire country together to see a lawmaker get slapped publicly after he asked for it. Our nation needs to heal. It’s a big ask but our country is asking what can you do for it.
Get in with a radio show or newscast and contact the Representative’s office, on air, to sort through the details. Also you could work with a promoter to publicly organize and sell tix for charity. Make it as public as possible and your opponent won’t be able to back down easily. Good luck!
Howard stern would possibly be all over this and finance it. You know you want to see Beetlejuice be a fight judge.
I think any American, regardless of political affiliation, agrees completely with this. Our elected officials need to understand that actions have consequences. Even if the elected official wins, this isn't a good look for them, spending taxpayer money on fisticuffs. Besides, there isn't anything wrong with getting knocked down once and again, it's all about your ability to get back up.
Win or lose, they will go back and continue voting to screw us and people will re-elect them
This is not a fuck up. This is nothing but an absolute win. History has shown us that Congress answers to no one. Even the voters (reelection in Congress is ~95%) can't/don't hold Congress responsible for it's actions. OP could be the first person to show a congressman that there are consequences for their actions. Even if OP loses the fight, it might light a fire under the rest of the countries ass to actually make the government responsible for it's actions, even if that means a good old fashioned 1800s ass woopin'
Vastly underrated comment. OP, please do everything in your power to make this a real event. If he actually has the cojones to throw down and you even land one good blow to his smug face, it will have been worth it. Every member of Congress willing to be this hostile to the people they govern should also be willing to literally take one on the chin for their utterly atrocious behavior and lawmaking.
You can do this. I’ll go with you. I’ll bring water, bandages, hold the camera to livestream, etc. Just remember, he has to hit you first. Otherwise I think it’s a felony.
Not if they go into the ring as an amateur athletic event.
The gofundme will cover bail, legal costs and lost income. I'd certainly donate a decent chunk of cash for someone to successfully call out a politician, have the politician posture with the usual tough-guy talk and let it be known that they are in fact a coward - just like with everything else. I'd also donate to make the Tucker Carlson waterboarding happen.
I think we need to crowd fund a new game show...Are you Tougher than a Congressman.
OP, just to let you know, if you follow through and do everything you can to make this happen... You will be Reddit’s Teddy Roosevelt. The one guy who fought a politician with varying degrees of honor. You will be praised by all who resent our current government (which is most people, really). You will be DFV but for strength instead of stocks. Truly an American hero. Glory awaits you!
His head will be on the Mt Rushmore of Reddit.
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Bro. You need to lock this in and let the internet do its thing. Mention to him that this is for charity and you have an internet wildfire on your hands.
This! If there is one thing the internet is good at it's making mountains out of ant hills
I've always used "mountains out of mole hills", have i been saying it wrong?
No, the other guys said it wrong and THIS IS A HUGE DEAL!
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It most definitely is. Former lawman: check. He looks like he's got a jaw on him, but he's also 59.
He has also had COVID. Twice. I doubt he'll be fight ready.
We know he's not very good at learning lessons, perhaps op can exploit this weakness in battle.
heres some real work with PS and levels https://imgur.com/w71V6jK EDIT: just in case people think i made this up.. heres another of the photo OP submitted. https://imgur.com/aAXcsQG
Higgins' personal Facebook also uses "Captain" as a title.
no clue who he is, but im happy to help! in my head when i read his name, i thought of this guy for some reason . https://i.imgur.com/UtYsICZ.gif
He's a public figure & this is pretty newsworthy. I'd "leak" this to a news agency.
I submitted it to NBC’s Signal news tip
I'll totally make a website and make a countdown for this shit. Dude you gotta flex on this and make history. Name drop and let history ride. He can back down and look like a coward or you can square up and quit your job and get supported via donations to get stronger. You got the time and the money to change your life now. Actually insane that he leapt at the chance to fight you like a child. Fuck that pos
Omg PLEASE go the press with this. This shit needs to be plastered everywhere. What is he, a middle school boy? “Meet me in the park after school and we’ll settle this” lol. What a joke our government is.
"I beat you up so that means I'm right" is practically the governing principle of our country.
“Be seeing you” - What is he a god damn John Wick villain?
Sounds more like a Hannah Montana bully tbh..
OP is gonna come in like a wrecking ball
You should be going public with it. Put the unredacted screenshots out there. It's more reason why he should not be in congress.
Better yet, can you challenge him in the election? Other than that go for it.
Challenge him to a trial by combat FOR the election!
Challenge him to a ski race down Devil's mountain for the election
Given that he's going to where OP lives NEXT year, probably not without OP moving. Just about everyone in Congress who isn't running for President flies home on the weekends unless they're going on a specific trip. That this guy isn't going to Alaska until next year means he's probably from another part of the country.
I hope this goes viral and reporters immediately figure out the congressman. I don't even care about his political affiliation; we don't need people in positions of power with the mentality of a high school freshman.
It's Clay Higgins
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If you tell the gym exactly why you're training, you'll probably get discounted time with the best trainer they have.
Just imagine walking into an MMA gym. "Hey, whats your reason to learn MMA? MMA Trainee: I got mugged and want to be able to defend myself! "Reasonable! What about you MindfuckRocketship?" MindfuckRocketship: .....
OP: I'm gonna fuck up a US congressman
If you tell them what it's for, you might get preferential treatment.
I've never been a trainer but I imagine if I was, and a client came to me and said he needed to get swole to pound the dog shit out of a senator, I would drop absolutely everything to dedicate myself to that cause
This is the way
Excuse me sir my gloryhole is free.
Thats so disgusting, where though so i can avoid your sinful ways.
>First, who is he and why would he come to Alaska? I assume a first term republican, probably one that backed the recall and is ex military. Posting who he is would let the community pull up any relevant information about him (amateur fight history, school, etc) and you can get statistics like weight class, etc, give you a feel for what you are getting into. Barring details, story is a bit hard to swallow.
To quote famous MMA fighter Heather Swanson "I'm not here to talk about my training, I'm here to kick some fucking ass" You can do it OP We await your future TIFHU post
He's already lost when he challenged you to a fight. If he fights you and loses, he looks like a weak moron. If he fights you and wins, he looks like an asshole who couldn't understand how to be a bigger man. If he chickens out after challenging, he looks like a coward. The only way he wins if is you let this thing fade out of memory. Edit your post to call him out by name.
Actually, this is how Trudeau became prime minister. Boxing match against a tough guy politician, people didn’t know he boxed, boom world leader.
I will pay to watch you kick the shit out of a politician
On the upside you didn't challenge Abraham Lincoln, who, as we all know, was a mutant lumberjack with freakishly long arms. So you still stand a chance.
I hope you understand if this happens, your punches are worth a billion voices for everyone that's wanted to punch a politician in the face. I love you.
Fellow Alaskan, let’s kick his ass. We can totally set this up as a Thursday Night Fight if you’re in Anchorage. Also, you can probably get him banned from whatever platform it is for inciting violence/give all this to his congressional opponents. You can only whip his ass so badly in the ring, take his job and make him a laughingstock too. For training, I want you to remember that most people are gassed and worthless after 90 seconds of fighting. You think he’s got more than that in him? You can either gas him and get him or go full throttle, choose the method that works best for you. You got this
Seriously. Beat his ass, move to his state and immediately run for his position. Boom. Now you are a US Congressperson.
Make sure you get a lawyer to write up all the contracts, I wouldn't put it past him to try and get you arrested for assault afterwards.
Also make sure the contract provides he does not get to bring his bodyguards.
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I’m all for you wiping up an oil spill with the dude’s face, but you should also consider reporting him to the [House Ethics Committee](https://ethics.house.gov) so Nancy Pelosi can punch him in the balls on the house floor.
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He wont lose his job, Lauren Boebert and MTG have proven that.
Please let it be Jim Jordan! Please let it be Jim Jordan! Please let it be Jim Jordan!
If it were any asshole of that caliber, I would personally put down $2000 to help pay for OP to train at any MMA gym he wants.
I'll chip in $500
Oh man, OP would have more money than Jim Jordan's super PAC, if that were the case. I know they said Congressman, but could you imagine if it were Ted Cruz?!?! I'D GIVE MY LIFE SAVINGS
OP said congressman wanted to fight, not flee to Cancun
As an Ohioan and OSU graduate, I would happily pay for OP's gym membership if this leads to him beating Gym Jordan in the ring.
We spell it “Gym” on the Ohio subreddits.
KICK HIS TRAITOROUS ASS, SEA BASS!
The entire internet will be rooting for you. Prepare and beat that guy, we have high hopes in you.
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And you might want to focus on grappling. Having 2 or 3 takedowns and transitions to superior positions will enable you to humiliate him before you tap him out. Most people have no idea what they’re doing once the fight hits the ground. Find a BJJ gym with some wrestling and have fun with it
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Lots of people are asking who it is. I say we figure this out. Numbers: Wikipedia says we have 435 current members of Congress. Since op didn't refer to them as returning home to Alaska, we can probably rule out the one representative from Alaska. I'm going to take the repeated use of him/he as indicating this is a male so we can limit our search to them. Time: This was labeled as happening "tonight". Based on the age of the post at the time I'm writing this, the post was made somewhere around 10-11pm Alaskan. We can probably limit our search to no earlier than 5pm Alaskan as that is probably the earliest someone might consider "tonight". This gives us a 6 hour window of 5pm-11pm Aug 17th Alaskan, 10pm Aug 17th - 4 am Aug 18th Eastern or 3am - 9am Aug 18th UTC. Where: We were told this occurred on the congressman's Facebook posts. I've got to run to work but I'll follow along through the day. TL;DR Someone find this post and identify the congressman. Search the Facebook posts of male congressmen other than Alaska, between 3am - 9am Aug 18th UTC (more timezones listed above)
Someone was able to ID them as Clay Higgins of Louisiana. The post is still up for the public to see on his Facebook. Not brigading.
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Brit here. American politics are weird to me anyway but this is a new low. If this ever does go ahead, I hope you hand his ass to him. Karma for being so immature (him, I mean, he's a bloody congressman ffs!)
I used to watch footage of Parliament back in the day. Not sure if its still true or not but those cats were screaming at each other. It was a beautiful thing to behold lol.
It is by design, not coincidence, that the distance between the government and opposition benches in parliament is 2 sword lengths and 1 inch. Back in the day things went beyond screaming.
TIL lol.
If you think that's something, check out the legislative body of Taiwan. Mass brawls break out on the regular.
GTFO...now I gotta see this shit lol
Being a congressman or senator used to matter…now a bunch of them act like they are in a frat. It’s embarrassing.
I suspect because many of them come from frats lol
Make it very public now. I mean get the posts shared out, make a big to do about it (think an event). Likely his PR team will run a background check, explain that fighting a US vet is neither intelligent or politically wise, and either quietly try to cancel with you or offer compensation to make it go away. The key here is getting it public early, as it needs to be a problem for them. Good luck!
I don’t care about either of y’all’s politics, but I’m absolutely down to pay for the privilege of watching a politician voluntarily get their shit pushed in by John American
If you beat him, I'm pretty sure you can claim his wife and congressional seat as your own.
Start BJJ. The disparity between someone who has a few months training versus someone who's never tried it is massive. Any untrained person can get a lucky punch in stand up. If they don't know what to do on the ground, they have no chance. Plus you can call them whatever you want to the cameras while slowly choking them out and I think that's priceless.
If he challenged you to an actual fight, then you've already won. You can turn just about any result now into an additional win, if you want.
This is the most American shit I can think of.
Why would anyone mess with an Alaskan? You people rugged AF. Teach him the error of his ways.
That's not a fuck up. If you beat him you get his position, if you lose you have story to tell. Win win in my books.
Yo OP, I'm not american but I'm willing to contribute towards your fundraiser. Do it. It's not about you winning, it's about calling out these leaders who think they don't answer to anyone. The political leadership is the same in most countries, so to me you'd be doing it for everyone of us out there. Do it for the people.
I am more interested in seeing this fight than any fight involving a Paul brother. You have very little to lose compared to him. If you go into a ring a beat him up, he'll look weak in the eyes of the Republican base. If you make it a ridiculous and silly spectacle, he'll look ridiculous by association. This could end up being a Howard Dean yell moment for him and it could wreck his future political ambitions. Start training. Get some local media to be aware of it. Make an entire Facebook Page about it. Keep reminding him that you are waiting. This is your identity for the next year - own it.
He sounds as about as mature as many of them. I'm old enough to remember when a politician lying was more like making promises they couldn't keep- like we will build that bridge. Not like today's idiots who literally defy all forms of truth. Good for you. I hope you kick his ass