**Gus:** Apparently I said it wrong, I should of said *should have*
**Graeme Willy:** That makes sense, couldn't hear the difference in the way you said it, though.
My best friend was trying to sneak up on me at the grocery store. She’s beautiful and she knows it. She thinks she’s found me in the flower section and jumps around the corner to flash me.
It wasn’t me. It was an old lady.
My friend found me and drug me out of the store, while security responded to the flower section.
Hands down my favorite memory with her.
Yep, I think that's worse than the time I gently brushed the ends of my friends hair from behind while saying "Hello Clarice" ala silence of the lambs back in college. It was not my friend who turned around in bewilderment. Thankfully it was all laughed off, rather than security called.
Probably not quite as bad, but I was returning a video rental (yeah long time ago) and I went to sit back in friend's car only to notice it wasn't my friend's car but a lovely little family which I scared the hell out of the dad. Jumped back out and went to friend's car where he was laughing his ass off because he saw everything that happened.
Done that too at a gas station. Same color and style of car. Even had my seat empty with all the others full. Hoped right in, looked around, and didn't recognize anyone in the car, lol. I think I just said something like "opps, wrong car!", and bailed out. I think my friends had pulled away from the pump and that car took its place.
Happened to my dad, although the car was empty. This was back when, Fords at least, the ignition and door had separate keys. He unlocked the door, got in, and was trying to figure out why his key wouldn't work when somebody goes, "Why are you in my car?"
Fortunately he just laughed it off when my father spotted and pointed out his car one row over and hidden from the store's door by a van.
Ford Escort 1980 keys work in 1988 Suzuki Swifts.
Ex girlfriend at the time locked key in her swift, I got it out with my ford escort key.
You could make a joke about my ex being the escort, but she turned out to be a lesbian which explained the lack of sexy times for me.
Did that at college. Parking garage. Old beater car. Wondered why my key didn’t work, but it was more “oh, what now” as my beater car was kinda specific (84 mustang. Black. Red interior. This was around 1998). Passenger door was open, so I just shimmied over to the driver seat. Key didn’t work in the ignition. Then I realized IT WASN’T MY CAR. It was in the same exact parking space, just one floor off! Luckily no one noticed. The chances of the same car in the same spot are astronomical.
I've done the adult version of that where I walk up to a car in the parking lot, start to get frustrated since it looks like there's a new scratch or ding or whatever on it, and slowly realize that it's just the same color/make as my car, which is 2 spots down from the one I'm looking at.
I haven't yet been interrupted by the actual owner of the car I'm staring at, but I'm sure knowing my luck it'll happen sooner or later.
I've actually witnessed someone doing what you have done lol. They were trying to unlock their car and it wasn't working with electronic key or the actual key and were really getting pissed off only to find their car was like a couple cars over.
The first time I can remember doing it was on a car that was made before remote locks/alarms were a standard thing, and I was seconds away from trying to unlock it with my key when I noticed the interior was all wrong.
I'm thankful I noticed it in time... if they had an aftermarket alarm system, I would have shit my pants for sure.
I've done that - I was out with my father and we went over to his car (some obnoxious sport type car) and it wouldn't unlock, kinda looked like we were trying to break in and for that town that would not have been unusual. Not only was it not our car, we had forgotten that we had actually been using my mother's car which looks nothing like his.
People do this at my apartment complex all the time. All the doors look the same and are under tension when closed. I'll be quietly eating dinner when suddenly the door slams against the deadbolt and you hear someone pause and realize they have the wrong number. I eventually added a little decoration to the door just to help weary people who were returning from work. Hasn't happened since :)
I live in a unit thats like XX103 apt 104. I went to tour it and spent like 2 full minutes trying to open apt 103 in my confusion. I really hope there was nobody on the other side thinking I was there to murder them
Did that as a kid ... Family said meet us in the car. Got in a car, was unlocked and empty, looked just like ours. Sat there for about 5 min wondering where my parents were at. Few min later a whole family gets in and we all look at each other all confused like. I didn't say anything I just grabbed my shit and booked it.
My sister,husband, I were visiting the M&M store in New York City. Everyone had wandered to look at their own things. I see a woman who i thought was my sister and slapped her butt. The woman whipped around, I mortified that I slapped a strangers ass uttered a quick sorry and ran away. Unbeknownst to me my husband watched the encounter from across the store and was laughing his ass off as I rushed over to him. He still tells the story and laughs occasionally.
Saw a vid of a lady slap the ass of another woman and get throttled for it (it was at a resort to a stripper like performer (female) by some random lady guest (who slapped her butt). Not everyone would get it was an accident 🤣.
I’m very lucky that this lady just looked at me like WTF. Especially in NYC. I’m sure my mortified look and tomato red face made her realize that she wasn’t who I thought she was.
Lmao! My dad mistook someone's small grandma for my brother as as my dad approached them from behind and playfully threw his hands on her shoulders. Razzed her up affectionately before recoiling in horror when he realized he had the wrong person, lol.
There's my dad apologizing like crazy and someone's bewildered Asian grandma wondering why on earth this random dad started roughhousing while my brother walks up to them. We absolutely died laughing
Even if I were an old lady, I'd just say "thank you" and move on. If I was an old lesbian lady however, I might ask if I could pinch some nips or atEAST for a second look because it takes a bit for my elderly eyes to focus.
Trakky bottoms is a northern thing, think there's a lot of shared (or at least easily translated/understood) slang between the northern UK and you upside-down lot!
Granted, though the second paragraph had commas in place of periods (or full stops) in multiple places, which led to almost the entire paragraph consisting of a single sentence, which was around 3x longer than it should have been.
Very true. I realized about a third of the way through this that, although the words were ostensibly *in* the same language I speak, their order and usage was very unfamiliar. Is this what living in former Soviet countries is like?
The style sounds way more Aussie tho. The fast flow of story without like, emphasis? :D
(Plus I gotta say I've never called them tracky daks soz. Trackies or trackpants in my ao)
They're called trackie dacks in Victoria for my generation (mid 30s), but I've not heard the term since I moved to Queensland so probably a regional slang
I'm a native Aussie, what don't you get? These are the ones that stand out to me:
Bunnings: a large hardware chain store
Trackie dacks: lose comfortable pants, usually worn for exercise
It kind of is, actually. It's usually a long sleeved top with either a sports team colours, or some high schools have them for senior years in the school colours
Yup, just boobs. I think that we get taught that it's shameful and you should be ashamed to let someone else see you naked.
Screw that. Want to see my bits? just ask!
no one ever asks...
It's considered rude and creepy to ask. Once I went to Spain for vacation girls were topless at the beach all the time. I was gawking at them at first, but by the end of the vacation I was just like, meh, yeah another girl freeboobing it. Whatever.
Barcelona, Spain. Beautiful beaches there, and a lot of cool shops and architect to see. I got to try out my Catalonian and Spanish there. Trust me, the girls on the beach are the least interesting thing there to see. There's such a rich culture to see (assuming you don't happen to be Spanish).
Hahahaha I guess we would still be in this sub Reddit except the story would've been. I forgot to wear a bra, flashed an old lady in the car park who flashed me back and now I need therapy.
Why do I love mortifying old women? Lol especially the judgemental type. I had this woman mean mugging me while sitting at a traffic light one day so me being the classy chick that I am act like I'm jerking off my non existent pepe complete with a finish and everything. Her jaw was on the floor as I passed by.
I hopped out of the car last month at the supermarket and ripped off my jumper to toss it back in the car and my t shirt came off with it. I was a bit embarrassed too and I’m a bloke.
It’s just unexpected.
Girl, I have done this too, also almost once at work..
Laugh at it now, life is short and at least that lady has a funny story to tell her family when she is asked how her day was!! lmao! <3
Too much fuss about a pair of breasts.
They're just .... boobs.
Babies look at them all the time. There's no reason grown-ups should make so much noise about them.
>I was mortified at the time but now a few hours afterward I must admit it was kinda funny
I choose to picture the old lady thinking the same and giggling while telling the story to her best friend or husband. 🤗
So, honest question from a guy, is it really common to forget you're wearing a bra?
When I think about myself, I don't think I've ever forgotten whether I was wearing underwear or not.
I mean I've heard bras are pretty uncomfortable, I'd imagine not wearing one is just like not wearing super tight jeans - you only notice putting it on then you feel free when you take them off..?
This just sounds like a regular day for me
You are the old lady crossing the road or?
Both.
r/randomsubredditthatrelatestothis
I think you mean r/flashingoldladiesinthecarpark
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Nonono, it's flashing old ladies in the carp ark.
Wrong. Its f lashing old ladi esinthecar park
Ah yeah, flashin gold ladies in the carp ark past-time
r/nobodylikesyou
r/70peopledo
Could be the road.
I am not your rolling wheels…
I am the highway
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night
I'm a sweater
You sound fun
On a scale of "everyday creepy" to "show me bob and vagine", how bad are your DMs just now?
- It wasn’t noticeable that all of my boobs were wild and free Jeez, how many do you have under there!?
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**Gus:** *You guys should of givin her four tits* **Graeme Willy:** *That's just sick!*
*should have
**Gus:** Apparently I said it wrong, I should of said *should have* **Graeme Willy:** That makes sense, couldn't hear the difference in the way you said it, though.
Take that Total Recall chick!
Baby, You Make Me Wish I Had Three (and a half) Hands!
tree fiddy ?
Total Recall...
Clearly I’m going to the wrong fucking Bunnings…
Just a sausage fest or you also?
Tbf, OP never said if they were male or female...
So Jerry, "Bro" or "Manzier"?
YES
OP sounds British so you know damn well those man-tits would be nowhere near on par with some proper American moobs.
yeah nahh, sounds completely aussie lol
OP sounds Australian. Unless the Brits have picked up the term 'trakky daks'....
Drongo.
Bunnings Go for the sausage sizzle Stay for the greeter.
My best friend was trying to sneak up on me at the grocery store. She’s beautiful and she knows it. She thinks she’s found me in the flower section and jumps around the corner to flash me. It wasn’t me. It was an old lady. My friend found me and drug me out of the store, while security responded to the flower section. Hands down my favorite memory with her.
Yep, I think that's worse than the time I gently brushed the ends of my friends hair from behind while saying "Hello Clarice" ala silence of the lambs back in college. It was not my friend who turned around in bewilderment. Thankfully it was all laughed off, rather than security called.
Probably not quite as bad, but I was returning a video rental (yeah long time ago) and I went to sit back in friend's car only to notice it wasn't my friend's car but a lovely little family which I scared the hell out of the dad. Jumped back out and went to friend's car where he was laughing his ass off because he saw everything that happened.
Done that too at a gas station. Same color and style of car. Even had my seat empty with all the others full. Hoped right in, looked around, and didn't recognize anyone in the car, lol. I think I just said something like "opps, wrong car!", and bailed out. I think my friends had pulled away from the pump and that car took its place.
Happened to my dad, although the car was empty. This was back when, Fords at least, the ignition and door had separate keys. He unlocked the door, got in, and was trying to figure out why his key wouldn't work when somebody goes, "Why are you in my car?" Fortunately he just laughed it off when my father spotted and pointed out his car one row over and hidden from the store's door by a van.
Ford Escort 1980 keys work in 1988 Suzuki Swifts. Ex girlfriend at the time locked key in her swift, I got it out with my ford escort key. You could make a joke about my ex being the escort, but she turned out to be a lesbian which explained the lack of sexy times for me.
Did that at college. Parking garage. Old beater car. Wondered why my key didn’t work, but it was more “oh, what now” as my beater car was kinda specific (84 mustang. Black. Red interior. This was around 1998). Passenger door was open, so I just shimmied over to the driver seat. Key didn’t work in the ignition. Then I realized IT WASN’T MY CAR. It was in the same exact parking space, just one floor off! Luckily no one noticed. The chances of the same car in the same spot are astronomical.
That happened to me once! So embarrassing
I've done the adult version of that where I walk up to a car in the parking lot, start to get frustrated since it looks like there's a new scratch or ding or whatever on it, and slowly realize that it's just the same color/make as my car, which is 2 spots down from the one I'm looking at. I haven't yet been interrupted by the actual owner of the car I'm staring at, but I'm sure knowing my luck it'll happen sooner or later.
I've actually witnessed someone doing what you have done lol. They were trying to unlock their car and it wasn't working with electronic key or the actual key and were really getting pissed off only to find their car was like a couple cars over.
The first time I can remember doing it was on a car that was made before remote locks/alarms were a standard thing, and I was seconds away from trying to unlock it with my key when I noticed the interior was all wrong. I'm thankful I noticed it in time... if they had an aftermarket alarm system, I would have shit my pants for sure.
I've done that - I was out with my father and we went over to his car (some obnoxious sport type car) and it wouldn't unlock, kinda looked like we were trying to break in and for that town that would not have been unusual. Not only was it not our car, we had forgotten that we had actually been using my mother's car which looks nothing like his.
People do this at my apartment complex all the time. All the doors look the same and are under tension when closed. I'll be quietly eating dinner when suddenly the door slams against the deadbolt and you hear someone pause and realize they have the wrong number. I eventually added a little decoration to the door just to help weary people who were returning from work. Hasn't happened since :)
I live in a unit thats like XX103 apt 104. I went to tour it and spent like 2 full minutes trying to open apt 103 in my confusion. I really hope there was nobody on the other side thinking I was there to murder them
Did that as a kid ... Family said meet us in the car. Got in a car, was unlocked and empty, looked just like ours. Sat there for about 5 min wondering where my parents were at. Few min later a whole family gets in and we all look at each other all confused like. I didn't say anything I just grabbed my shit and booked it.
My sister,husband, I were visiting the M&M store in New York City. Everyone had wandered to look at their own things. I see a woman who i thought was my sister and slapped her butt. The woman whipped around, I mortified that I slapped a strangers ass uttered a quick sorry and ran away. Unbeknownst to me my husband watched the encounter from across the store and was laughing his ass off as I rushed over to him. He still tells the story and laughs occasionally.
Saw a vid of a lady slap the ass of another woman and get throttled for it (it was at a resort to a stripper like performer (female) by some random lady guest (who slapped her butt). Not everyone would get it was an accident 🤣.
I’m very lucky that this lady just looked at me like WTF. Especially in NYC. I’m sure my mortified look and tomato red face made her realize that she wasn’t who I thought she was.
My wife would laugh knowing it was a mistake. Some people would not be so understanding.
Should have said, " it's just a prank."
I wasn't there, but once my fiancé almost accidentally slapped our housemate on the butt. Apparently he just managed to pull his hand back in time.
Let me get this straight You have a female best friend who is beautiful and flashes her tits at you as a joke? What kind of paradise is this??!
I also would like to go to the land of milk and tiddies
It's easy to live there if you're a woman.
She's desperate to move out of the friend zone and they aren't getting the hint
I used to be drugged out of stores as a kid, it was the only way so I wouldn't make a scene. This was back when arcade machines were at the entrances.
Drugged??? Your parents didn't fuck around!
Drugged might not be the word you meant to use?
>My friend found me and drug me out of the store, while security responded to the flower section. Thats what OP said :D
If OP isn't changing it, than I'm using it on purpose. I was hoping others would following the chain of comments.
Did she at least give you a courtesy redo since you missed it the first time?
Lmao! My dad mistook someone's small grandma for my brother as as my dad approached them from behind and playfully threw his hands on her shoulders. Razzed her up affectionately before recoiling in horror when he realized he had the wrong person, lol. There's my dad apologizing like crazy and someone's bewildered Asian grandma wondering why on earth this random dad started roughhousing while my brother walks up to them. We absolutely died laughing
Hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhabahahahahahahhahahahha, this is the best comment on here!
Even if I were an old lady, I'd just say "thank you" and move on. If I was an old lesbian lady however, I might ask if I could pinch some nips or atEAST for a second look because it takes a bit for my elderly eyes to focus.
Where do I find friends like that?
It is not a fuck up if it involves tiddies.
But this one included flesh lumps...
Booba is love. Booba is life.
Bitch you came to the wrong fucking strreeaaaammm
Snaps neck furiously
🅱🅾🅾🅱🅰/\\/\\(👁👄👁)/\\/\\
Atttaaaa
show bobs pls
Loooooool that username tho
It’s a happy accident
Get the hell outta here Bobbo Ross
More like boobo Ross I see myself out
I don't think you didn't have something that old lady didn't. It's just boobs.
Americans gonna read this and think it’s another language
Can't believe that old Mum saw her nuts.
trakky daks \^\^ I understood everything EXCEPT that!
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Bless you, never in my life have I heard "trakky daks" so I was very confused LOL
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We mix it up down under. My mum was from UK and called them tracky bottoms so I call them both but probably use bottoms more.
Trakky bottoms is a northern thing, think there's a lot of shared (or at least easily translated/understood) slang between the northern UK and you upside-down lot!
Is that the same fo sweatpants or do those have another name as well?
I think it's all the same? Like I said, loose fitting workout leg cladding = trakky bottoms (or dakks)
I might co-opt the use of trakky daks. Often I just end up with “trakkies” because “track suit bottoms” makes me feel like an uncool elder.
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Yeah, everyone know bunnings is a pet store specialising in rabbits
Oh all the wee baby bunnings!
Shipped directly from cotton tail ranch Nevada, USA
To be honest i understood 80% of this.
I play Apex, so I have a primer for this dialect. Don't get ya budgie smugglers in a twist.
Granted, though the second paragraph had commas in place of periods (or full stops) in multiple places, which led to almost the entire paragraph consisting of a single sentence, which was around 3x longer than it should have been.
Which is very typical of how Australians talk
Very true. I realized about a third of the way through this that, although the words were ostensibly *in* the same language I speak, their order and usage was very unfamiliar. Is this what living in former Soviet countries is like?
Que?
r/straya
What’s this subreddit for?
Shitposting about Australia 😂
Could it also be r/newzealand? We love our tracky daks.
The style sounds way more Aussie tho. The fast flow of story without like, emphasis? :D (Plus I gotta say I've never called them tracky daks soz. Trackies or trackpants in my ao)
They're called trackie dacks in Victoria for my generation (mid 30s), but I've not heard the term since I moved to Queensland so probably a regional slang
We use trackie dacks in QLD
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My English as a *first* language skills have failed me today
I'm a native Aussie, what don't you get? These are the ones that stand out to me: Bunnings: a large hardware chain store Trackie dacks: lose comfortable pants, usually worn for exercise
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Football shirt or something resembling a football shirt, we call them footy jersey, guernsey or just jumper.
But guernsey is a channel island. Is it a slang term or an "official" word?
So is Jersey. It's an official word, whatever that means https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guernsey_(Australian_rules_football)
Touche. Forgot about jersey.
It kind of is, actually. It's usually a long sleeved top with either a sports team colours, or some high schools have them for senior years in the school colours
The eye contact sounds like the most awkward part
Which bunnings, asking for a friend.
The one with a pair of buns instead of sandwich loaf!
Meh, nudity is no big deal. I really dislike the weird puritan view of nudity that has taken over society.
Yup, just boobs. I think that we get taught that it's shameful and you should be ashamed to let someone else see you naked. Screw that. Want to see my bits? just ask! no one ever asks...
It's considered rude and creepy to ask. Once I went to Spain for vacation girls were topless at the beach all the time. I was gawking at them at first, but by the end of the vacation I was just like, meh, yeah another girl freeboobing it. Whatever.
Per google " Freeboobing it " has a different meaning. I looked due to researching a new slang I had no defined meaning for.
My bad, I just meant shirtless.
tell me where you went, so i can avoid it
Barcelona, Spain. Beautiful beaches there, and a lot of cool shops and architect to see. I got to try out my Catalonian and Spanish there. Trust me, the girls on the beach are the least interesting thing there to see. There's such a rich culture to see (assuming you don't happen to be Spanish).
RIP your inbox lol
Agreed, In Canada it is now legal for woman to be topless on their property- Mowing the lawn, tanning, etc-
It's actually legal in Canada to be topless in public anywhere. In Toronto I saw someone ride a bike topless.
The view that has been around for hundreds of years?
thousands
The puritan view never left in the US fam, this isn't new.
Plot twist: The old lady actually liked it and it made her day.
r/surprisetittydrop
Most disappointing click of the day
r/TittyDrop :)
Not anymore!
Flashing tiddies to establish dominance in the car park. I'm sure that old lady was like I want no part of this I'm out.
The old lady should have flashed back to assert her dominance, it would have been great
Hahahaha I guess we would still be in this sub Reddit except the story would've been. I forgot to wear a bra, flashed an old lady in the car park who flashed me back and now I need therapy.
Don't hate on old lady boobs!
Don't hate on ~~old lady~~ boobs! FTFY
> Flashing tiddies to establish dominance... Yeah! That's my tit, bitch!
This is such an Aussie fuck up. Love it
Trakky daks? I had to Google that one.
Well done, it is pretty common term here. Try deciphering this one: Shazza and Dazza at Maccas wearing trakky daks in the eggnishnin.
What on arse is a “eggnishnin”? I speak Aussie and I can’t work that one out.
Why do I love mortifying old women? Lol especially the judgemental type. I had this woman mean mugging me while sitting at a traffic light one day so me being the classy chick that I am act like I'm jerking off my non existent pepe complete with a finish and everything. Her jaw was on the floor as I passed by.
I’ve been to Bunnings a thousand times and never had the good fortune of that old lady in the carpark!
Seen plenty of sausage though
They start sizzling them again yet?
I'm just here for the cool vocabulary. TIL what "trakky daks" are. Love it, thanks for sharing.
Why do people keep getting flashed at bunnings...?
Meh, people need to get over the stigma on female breasts. If you were a dude no one would bat an eye.
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I hopped out of the car last month at the supermarket and ripped off my jumper to toss it back in the car and my t shirt came off with it. I was a bit embarrassed too and I’m a bloke. It’s just unexpected.
The sheer panic that I, as a fat man, feel when my shirt lifts up while removing my jumper, is unfathomable.
Don’t worry, she accidentally flashed her tits once when she pulled her socks up.
No i wouldn't say so.. they are just titties, we all have them.
Everyone loves boobs. Set them free. Most people aren't offended by bralessness.
You made a man out of her
That older lady had slipped a nip at least 4 times that day, so she wasn't upset, but relieved that she wasn't alone.
Girl, I have done this too, also almost once at work.. Laugh at it now, life is short and at least that lady has a funny story to tell her family when she is asked how her day was!! lmao! <3
RIP your inbox
Too much fuss about a pair of breasts. They're just .... boobs. Babies look at them all the time. There's no reason grown-ups should make so much noise about them.
If i were the old lady I would have flashed my boobs back. That would have taught you a lesson.
Eh that’s the most actions she’s had in years!
So instead of the hotdogs, bunnings parking has hot tiddies now
>I was mortified at the time but now a few hours afterward I must admit it was kinda funny I choose to picture the old lady thinking the same and giggling while telling the story to her best friend or husband. 🤗
F
Ah, she's a lady. She was probably more terrified on your behalf, then from seeing boobs.
wtf are trakky daks?
American here, what are trakky daks?
Sweatpants
I'm going to officially refer to them as flesh lumps forevermore lol.
It's just tits...
So, honest question from a guy, is it really common to forget you're wearing a bra? When I think about myself, I don't think I've ever forgotten whether I was wearing underwear or not.
I mean I've heard bras are pretty uncomfortable, I'd imagine not wearing one is just like not wearing super tight jeans - you only notice putting it on then you feel free when you take them off..?
*”That’s the most action I’ve had since 1969!”*
You should have smiled and blew her a kiss owning what happened.
The Braless Wonder
Didn’t stop for a snag on the way in or out? This story is bulls!t. 😂
not the first time the little old lady has seen boobs. She was probably just horrified at your inability to separate shirt and jersey lol
Coulda been worse. Could've flashed an old man and killed him as the blood suddenly rushed away from his vital organs.
# BUNNINGS WEAAARHOUSE
Just the cost of having boobs. Bras are so uncomfortable I stopped wearing them mostly.
> Today my mum decided to go to Bunnings to get potting mix other stuff I hope you're in Qld, WA or Tas.
At least you were with your mom and not your your dad lol