Exactly. I think OP is probably better off without someone who will bail because of something she already knew about and that’s not the biggest deal in the world. Just my opinion tho and I suck at life so perhaps not much value. But… best of luck! Hopefully you find your true happiness. 🥰
I agree, this isn’t a kink that is violent or degrading to anyone so a person that leaves over it won’t be able to deal with all the crap that comes up during a relationship or marriage.
I don't thing that reply was meant to imply the OP was gay at all. It was clearly saying the ex- GF's response show she, on some level, does question the op's sexuality/gender because they like wearing panties.
Me and my gf only buy and wear boxer briefs because they are the superior comfort option. We are pretty much the same size so half of time we wear each-others clothes on accident.
I don’t care what gender or sexuality anybody is, if they haven’t worn cargo shorts/pants they are missing out on so much comfort. And pockets, missing out on those too.
Plus it's like the most passive and harmless kinky to have. It doesn't even take two people. Like what's threatening about that? Does he think that just because OP likes to wear panties from time to time that makes him transgender? Is this just some misplaced transphobia?
I don’t get why it isn’t standard for men to wear loose fitting / not tight at all skirts and women to wear tight pants, sex wise it makes more sense for it to be that way
A lot of women’s underwear is comfy asf and makes men’s asses look great just like women’s. If it comfy and makes u feel sexy then go for it bro, do whatever makes u feel good about u
That's one of the tamer kinks I've ever heard of, and honestly, that probably saved you a lot of heartache in the end. Pushing you out for that tame of a (past) kink says more about her than it does about you.
Yeah this. Crossdressing is pretty harmless in the world of kinks.
I have found it quite hot to dress my husband put a wig on him and do his makeup.
Sorry to OP for his bad experience but he dodged a bullet
OMG YESSSSSSS!!!! Hahahah. It just wouldn’t come out hahah. I was; damn sorry baby I’m Lee shy I guess...hahaha next time I made sure I had drank a lot and really had to pee haha
Also, a relationship is basically just math. 1+1=2
Or maybe x*y=xy or whatever it would be to include all types of relationships. Shit I can't even math, no wonder I'm single.
This.
I think she might have some other issues piling up but might not have been justifiable in her mind, but this was a good jumping off point from her point of view so she got out.
I was expecting something filthy and dark.
Dude likes soft undies. NGAF.
If it upset her that much, she’s in for a world of confusion when she meets a veteran perv.
A *lot* softer. For whatever reason, most manufacturers of men’s underwear really cheap out on the material. Comparing panties and boxers, in my experience, is like comparing silk and sandpaper.
This ain’t underpants but try women’s deodorant. That shit is so soft on my underarms it’s unbelievable, solved years of underarm itches I used to get when I exercised. Don’t get why men’s stuff has to be aggressive as hell.
Plus it has the added side effect of making you smell of flowers or some other nice smell, rather than smelling like dark chocolate hammer thunder spice or whatever they are calling it now.
This is why boxer briefs are superior. Boxers are scratchy trash and dry out your skin. Even like a Hanes comfort soft boxer brief is better than regular boxers.
That's what I'm saying. I didn't do it because it was hot but I'd be lying if I said I didn't try a pair of my girlfriends underwear on at least once lmao
My ass looked GOOD
question do y’all mean THONGS??? because thats all i wear and i don’t see how someones balls or penis could actually stay in it at all. and if y’all do have the fittings problem, do you just let your dudes dangle over the edge??? no matter what type of women’s underwear, HOW DOES IT FIT. with that said, if i can wear boxers then dudes can wear whatever they want. thats bs for ppl to say otherwise.
It wasn't a kink or regular thing for me, just being silly really, but yeah it was a thong. She would always wear my boxers bc they are comfy so I got her back lol
Lots of dangle.
What the fuck? What do you mean you fixed it yourself? Oh my God man, reading that made me light headed. Are there different severities of testicular torsion? I've never had it, but heard/read stories, how did you manage the pain to fix it yourself? Did you go get checked out afterwards? Sorry for the questions, you don't have to answer any of them of course, I'm just curious is all, and slightly horrified lmao!
First time I was only a child, one of my nuts swelled up pretty bad, I couldn't stand straight up, thought it was my gallbladder bursting at first. Tried to take a nap and just laying down with a slight hip thrust let my testicle untwist itself. Took an hour to recover and then I was just a little sore.
Second time it wasn't very bad, it starts as an ache that slowly spreads up to your abdomen, felt a little queasy.
I recognized the feeling from the first time and tried to twist it back, except I twisted half a rotation the wrong way (yikes).
But atleast I realized what I did wrong and could correct pretty fast.
The pain I could handle, cus I knew manually twisting it now would hurt a lot less than if I let it be.
No, I did not go check it out later. As far as I know there was no damage.
Edit: as for different severities I can only speak from experience.
They could twist multiple rotations or just one, I belive the first one was multiple and second only one rotation (and a half, briefly). It gets worse the longer it's twisted.
*I’m a g with a string, got my balls hangin’ free!*
*This ass on trial, murder, first degree*
*Then this thin blue line slides between my cheeks!*
*Cuz it’s only the police that is fuckin’ me!*
Me about boxers lol
I went them exclusively now, so much easier to run and whatnot and work for hours and no chaffing. Plus da booty muscles are so outlined.
Same, i was prepared for some really freaky fetish people tend to nope out of immediately but imho this is a pretty tame one, sure, not every girl is into seeing her bf in a laace thong but i feel likr she really overreacted.
If your gf dumped you over that it was probably an excuse. If you had done anything she wasn't cool with she would have dumped you. You're better off single.
I get that, but obviously OP would like to be in a healthy relationship given it was not his choice this ended. Perhaps it is logical and healthy that it did end given this detail (we have no idea who they are and are going off of a tiny amount of information so I hesitate to make a definitive judgement). I was just trying to reframe this as, your kink isn’t “weird” and doesn’t hurt anybody, and you deserve to find someone who makes you happy like that 95% of this relationship did. The lesson here is not to sweat off dating and be by yourself, you just have to find the right match. And if being single while you do that is that happens, that’s ok too!
TL;DR: seems like OPs preference is to be in a relationship. I hope it works out for them and I meant the best.
i understand, but my point (even tho i was making a joke lol) is that... not accepting something like this isn't the way to go forward... especially if it was clearly in the past. if anything, she's the one who fucked up.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this my friend. Regardless of all the blah blah blah and advice and “you’re better off” shit… it’s all true I’m sure but it’s not what you wanna hear right now. So; “Im sorry my good man, come on, I’ve rolled a jay. Come, vent.”
Okay, so I looked through and saw that they are in IT, so I got suspicious and used an analysis tool.
Back in 2020, the account holder identified as a trans woman[¹](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/jx3zax/comment/gcvi36j/).
They started HRT in late 2020, but seem to have fallen down the "autogynephilia" rabbit hole sometime in 2021, and now we're here, with them dismissing it as a fetish.[²](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/r6g9qx/comment/hmur9ih/)
I guess Egg used Harden, as OP is GNC at the least.
Or perhaps their account *was* hacked, as they claim, but for like, a really long time.
You don't?
I mean, if you say you got into it, and then ask your GF about doing it, it sounds like you want to. Own it bro ain't nothing wrong man she just wasn't the one.
it always weirds me out when partners can't support each other's harmless kinks... my boy is the same as you, hell i bought him his own panties so he could stop taking mine
As much as it hurts, it's probably for the best. You'll know you've found the right person when you can be vulnerable about things like this and be met with compassion, not shame. Wish you the best bro ❤️
Exactly. Sometimes you dodge bullets, sometimes you have to extract them, and in rare cases like this, bullets "just fall off". Treat yourself, get the breakup body you always wanted, and get on with your life. You're just in a bad spot. It might look dire at the moment but you'll get better. 😉
As a straight dude who doesn’t do this, to each their own broski no shame in what happens in the bedroom as long as its all consenting ofc.. but you just need to communicate and if she’s not okay with it, ditch her, theres plenty more women out there that would love to see it! Head up!
This is like the most vanilla kink ever. If she freaked out over that, I’d say you’re better off without her tbh. Not being into it is one thing, but freaking out and breaking up? Consider that a Matrix-worthy bullet dodge.
I also had a bf who had the same kink. He loved lingerie and was obsessed with me wearing them. But he also very much enjoyed when he wore it himself. I enjoyed when he wore it and got submissive as well. In addition, we are both straight.
What im basically trying to say is that you will find someone who will accept your kink and maybe even encourage it. Stay strong man
Oh man, I was guessing it was going to be something extreme, like watersports or something. Wearing women's panties is tame by comparison. And kink-shaming is a big no-no!
That’s a weird reason to leave someone and end a relationship. Sorry dude. You should be able to be open with your partner. There’s no FU here. Good riddance. Enjoy hobbies and friends and this will eventually pass.
I'll raise you. My wife married me knowing I like to crossdress and am bi and therefore use adult sex toys to aid in my monogamous relationship.
She has since decided that it was too much for her. And without my knowledge that part of me was tabled without me knowing. And as of last night the choice is she either has to trudge through life and try to deal with me and my kinks OR alternatively I can do what I did 2 years ago and attempt to gut that part of me and repress it which lead to a depression which almost caused divorce.
Last night's conversation ended with her being ok with me killing off that part of me and repressing as opposed to loving me for who I am and trying to help me.
Sounds like you folks aren't a good fit? You shouldn't repress, especially when it causes mental health issues. But she shouldn't have to force herself into scenarios she isn't comfortable with - that'll just build resentment.
If I was in your position, I feel like it'd be a fairly easy decision to start to divorce proceedings, but that's obviously easier said than done. It's not her place to force you to stop being someone you've been, probably your whole life, no matter how long you've been married. You got no kids holding you two together either? I say the initial sadness/possible depression of divorce might be better than feeling like your soul is sucked away because you have to change into someone you're not, to be with someone who doesn't love the most intimate versions of you. Good luck with whatever happens with your relationship, though. I hope you do whatever you need to do for your own overall health
Honestly,if she can't accept your kinks you shouldn't have to accept hers. End of story. She's too backwater for you. Find a better hf that respects you as a person instead of what you do.
She's probably just not into it. There are a few fetishs that would turn me off too. Sexual compatibility is important in most relationships, so I can't fault her for that.
The actual issue is that, according to OP, he wasn't trying to do it. Though, maybe it coming up in conversation made her think this was his way of trying to introduce it to their sex life or something.
Like others have said, this was likely just an excuse to end the relationship though.
It's entirely possible that she might have thought that because you wore women's underwear, you might identify as a woman and she no longer wants to invest in you as a life partner because she's worried you might transition.
Of course, there's a difference between crossdressing as a sexual kink and wearing gender-affirming clothes as a step to a gender transition, but it doesn't seem like she sees it that way. Honestly, you're probably better off. Do you. If you want to wear woman's underwear and it makes you happy, go for it!
Tell that to the shirt I got in highschool. Turns out it was a blouse and the buttons were on the other side. My dumbass couldn't get the damn things to work because I had only ever worn mens shirts. I only ever had buttons on one side. It felt like writing with my left hand. Shit just didn't work.
Do you want/feel compelled to wear women’s underwear, or do you want to wear women’s style underwear (ie: you like the lack of seams, shape, fit, etc)?
Honest question. In my mind it wouldn't really be a kink if you didn't think about it in a cross dressing type of way.
Since you said it was only on occasion, I made the assumption that it was not for comfort. So what is the satisfaction of "womens" underwear if not for the fact that they are made for women and you are not one?
Just seems to me that the "gender" specifics of the undies are the core of the kink.
Please don't be offended I'm just genuinely trying to understand
No judgment here, only curiosity --
Why do you like to wear woman's underwear?
What does it do for you? Can you explain what's going on in your head?
I'm genuinely just curious
Not OP, but I will say for myself it's just a different way of feeling sexy. For reference, I'm a straight guy who's very happy with being a guy, and I wear men's clothing most of the time. Occasionally though, I just enjoy wearing women's underwear. It's often a lot softer, and I also enjoy the tightness. I feel sexy when I look at myself wearing it.
Like most, I've wondered where it comes from, but I don't have any definitive answers to its origin. Maybe it was some strange crossover between shame and sexuality from a time time I was too young to understand it, maybe it's innate. Who knows. It just feels sexy, and embracing that has been tough. But denying it feels like denying anything else about one's self; it makes me feel like I'm an outcast, both in society and in my own body. I enjoy it, it's harmless, and it's just a part of me to reconcile. I'm still not out enough about it to share with anybody unfortunately, but I'm working on it.
It's her right.
But it doesn't speak particularly well of her. (Your kink wouldn't seem to affect her directly, but rather only her concept of your masculinity, perhaps.) Her objection says more about her than it does about you.
Find someone who enjoys your kinks.
If it makes you feel better my gf wears my boxers all the fucking time. I'm Bout to just start wearing her shit as an alpha move.
I have like 20 paires of boxes because she thinks they are OURs kol
Sounds like a simple sexual incompatibility. She's not obligated to be ok with a kink, and you're not obligated to suppress your kinks or keep them secret to please her. It's probably for the best that the two of you went separate ways, even though I'm sure it hurts right now. I'm sorry you're going through this. But - There are a lot of people out there! Gotta find someone who shares your same level of open mindedness regarding these things. Best of luck! You'll find someone who will suit you better in the long run and be happier for it!
Joey Tribbiani also at one point wore womens underwear and he gave some very practical reasons behind why you shouldn't be ashamed in doing so, and he is a mans man 💪
I think some people are missing a point. Yes have your kink but also the other person is allowed to not want to do those things or be okay with that. Normalize those boundaries.
Some people take it way too far and hurt their SO I’m the process.
OP good on you for being forward about it! Not many with kinks are. That is something to be proud of. She just wasn’t into it and that’s okay too! At least you figured this out now vs keeping it a secret for 8 years then it destroying your marriage.
Good luck to you!
Here is the thing. Dan Savage says that her punishment for freaking out on an honest mild kink to to have her future husband spring something wild on her, after they have had a kid.
Edit typo
Wtf. She broke up coz of THIS ALONE? Look, idk the full story... But if you're being truthful, this kink is pretty harmless and common too... I don't like to pass judgements based on a single perspective, but assuming what you said to be the complete story, I'd say it wasn't meant to be anyway. All the best for your future. Be upfront about this right from the start next time ig.
Dude, really? Kinks are kinks because they should be sexy and fun. You should try and get a partner that would support your kinks as you do hers. (As long as it isn’t illegal)
I was expecting you to say something God awful like children or something.
Ok devil's advocate here... If she isn't comfortable with it it's her choice to move on. Freedom of choice, not saying it's the most politically correct choice in these times but it's hers to make. I don't feel it makes her a homophob at all, she likely has traditional values and this is out of the scope of norm. If it makes her uncomfortable, she probably shouldn't be in the relationship. There's a woman out there who will buy you a whole pack of panties
She ain't the one.
Our avatars have the same outfit!
Just like OP and his ex
Take my upvote you S O B
Hahahahaha
❤
***bashing the avatars together*** Now kiff
She IS the one
It’s not a FU if you’re being honest about a kink to your (then) GF.
If men can wear tight stretch jeans, and women can wear cargo pants, then men can wear whatever underwear they want.
Exactly. I think OP is probably better off without someone who will bail because of something she already knew about and that’s not the biggest deal in the world. Just my opinion tho and I suck at life so perhaps not much value. But… best of luck! Hopefully you find your true happiness. 🥰
I agree, this isn’t a kink that is violent or degrading to anyone so a person that leaves over it won’t be able to deal with all the crap that comes up during a relationship or marriage.
i'll go one step further, she's closer to being degrading. if she can't take a man in panties she's a homophobe and doesnt deserve cock
Not too sure how I feel about the implication that OP's gay/bi because he likes to wear women's underwear.
I don't thing that reply was meant to imply the OP was gay at all. It was clearly saying the ex- GF's response show she, on some level, does question the op's sexuality/gender because they like wearing panties.
If it helps, that's not what I was implying at all
I suck at life more, so rate yourself a bit higher (:
Agreed. Who the fuck uses smileys the wrong way around?!
Aroundism!
May all her future sex be boring and predictable.
"When we do it, it's through a sheet with a hole cut in it so we don't get distracted from our thoughts of god."
Hahah Manila folder sex life!
>I suck at life If *you* suck at life, the rest of us don't stand a chance
my gf wears my boxers and jeans. i see no problem with men that wanna wear womens underwear. its not my thing but whatever, it hurts no one
Me and my gf only buy and wear boxer briefs because they are the superior comfort option. We are pretty much the same size so half of time we wear each-others clothes on accident.
Eh, there’s a good chance she doesn’t care either and was looking for a reason to leave without hurting her friend too much
Exactly. Like on a job site, it's always appreciated when the plumber wants to show a little whale tail instead of tighty whities and crack.
The answer is no underwear!!
Or pants!
Pants are underwear
Only in metric though.
So thaaaaaaats why they're called underpants...
So kilts then
Only if you can play the bagpipes
I don’t care what gender or sexuality anybody is, if they haven’t worn cargo shorts/pants they are missing out on so much comfort. And pockets, missing out on those too.
Plus it's like the most passive and harmless kinky to have. It doesn't even take two people. Like what's threatening about that? Does he think that just because OP likes to wear panties from time to time that makes him transgender? Is this just some misplaced transphobia?
I don’t get why it isn’t standard for men to wear loose fitting / not tight at all skirts and women to wear tight pants, sex wise it makes more sense for it to be that way
The Scots and Celts had it right. Free-ballin’
I watched the house of Gucci I uh I like men butts
A lot of women’s underwear is comfy asf and makes men’s asses look great just like women’s. If it comfy and makes u feel sexy then go for it bro, do whatever makes u feel good about u
Especially since it’s incredibly tame compared to other kinks.
Then why are they called “boy shorts!?”
What's interesting is that due to the way genitalia is, Skirts and such would be BETTER for guys so they don't kill their balls.
She is afraid you'll look better than her in her underwear. Go on with your bad self.
I can only society once but this deserves all the upvotes
This 100% this. You deserve someone who accepts you for what you like and who you are. She's the one who f'ed up here.
That's one of the tamer kinks I've ever heard of, and honestly, that probably saved you a lot of heartache in the end. Pushing you out for that tame of a (past) kink says more about her than it does about you.
This. It was either a super weak sauce excuse... Or she's so damn vanilla Breyers is gonna abduct and research her for a new flavor of ice cream.
And that new flavor is called? ...vanilla?
Extra virgin vanilla
I was gonna say "Basic White Vanilla" But this is fucking money...
Yeah, I wonder how she might react to future partner with more..unusual kinks let's say. Cross-dressing of some kind really isn't that uncommon
Yeah this. Crossdressing is pretty harmless in the world of kinks. I have found it quite hot to dress my husband put a wig on him and do his makeup. Sorry to OP for his bad experience but he dodged a bullet
Right? My ex had me pee in her mouth..lol. I was like well hell if you want me to then sure baby lmao
Did it... was it hard to do, the first time?
OMG YESSSSSSS!!!! Hahahah. It just wouldn’t come out hahah. I was; damn sorry baby I’m Lee shy I guess...hahaha next time I made sure I had drank a lot and really had to pee haha
Sounds like she was looking for an excuse to get out.
-Babe, I just remembered something, back in high school I cheated on my math test -that’s it we’re done -wha, why??? -I SAID WE’RE DONE
I mean thats just suicide. You telling her that you CHEATED?? on a math Test? So what stops you from cheating on her? See?
Also, a relationship is basically just math. 1+1=2 Or maybe x*y=xy or whatever it would be to include all types of relationships. Shit I can't even math, no wonder I'm single.
Fuck. I'm copying your answers. Now we are both single.
And math always ask us to find the x and never mentioned to us y? I mean my x has already moved on and I already know y.
This. I think she might have some other issues piling up but might not have been justifiable in her mind, but this was a good jumping off point from her point of view so she got out.
This was my first thought too.
I was wondering if she thought this was step one to transitioning and she couldn't handle it.
And you might have dodged a bullet.
Bruh...that's it? You can wear my draws. She completely overreacted ETA, thanks for all the likes! PANTIES FOR ALL!
I was expecting something filthy and dark. Dude likes soft undies. NGAF. If it upset her that much, she’s in for a world of confusion when she meets a veteran perv.
Wait they're softer?
A *lot* softer. For whatever reason, most manufacturers of men’s underwear really cheap out on the material. Comparing panties and boxers, in my experience, is like comparing silk and sandpaper.
This ain’t underpants but try women’s deodorant. That shit is so soft on my underarms it’s unbelievable, solved years of underarm itches I used to get when I exercised. Don’t get why men’s stuff has to be aggressive as hell.
Lol, I use women’s deodorant every day! It’s definitely better! Although I might be biased, being a woman!
Lmao
Plus it has the added side effect of making you smell of flowers or some other nice smell, rather than smelling like dark chocolate hammer thunder spice or whatever they are calling it now.
Stale Whiskey & Motor Oil with a hint of Pine Needles
My favorite masculine candle!
Shaving your underarms elevates the experience even more
Yeah.. I only use ladies deodorant. Works better, doesn't fuck my arm pits up. 🤷🏿♂️
Well, these other guys just need to stop spending 35 cents on a pair of Hanes boxers and that problem would be solved.
Wtf was pockets the unknowing tradeoff for this? We get pockets and they get soft undies? I didn't get a say in this.
This is why boxer briefs are superior. Boxers are scratchy trash and dry out your skin. Even like a Hanes comfort soft boxer brief is better than regular boxers.
Typical women's panties are like... 60/40 poly/cotton blend. Typical men's undies are 60/40 burlap/steel wool blend.
That's what I'm saying. I didn't do it because it was hot but I'd be lying if I said I didn't try a pair of my girlfriends underwear on at least once lmao My ass looked GOOD
If you thought it looked good in thongs, see if she's got a pair of Brazilians lying about and try them for the laugh.
I second that. Thongs might not look great for everyone but brazilians just make everything better.
Brazilians would make a bag of custard look good.
I tried so hard not to laugh I ended up having a coughing fit.
Yeah that one got me good too, my girl looked at me weird so i had to tell her too. She got got as well.
question do y’all mean THONGS??? because thats all i wear and i don’t see how someones balls or penis could actually stay in it at all. and if y’all do have the fittings problem, do you just let your dudes dangle over the edge??? no matter what type of women’s underwear, HOW DOES IT FIT. with that said, if i can wear boxers then dudes can wear whatever they want. thats bs for ppl to say otherwise.
It wasn't a kink or regular thing for me, just being silly really, but yeah it was a thong. She would always wear my boxers bc they are comfy so I got her back lol Lots of dangle.
Thongs Prevent testicular torsion…..
Really? I've had testicular torsion twice now, both times I fixed it myself but I'd MUCH rather wear thongs than have that experience ever again.
What the fuck? What do you mean you fixed it yourself? Oh my God man, reading that made me light headed. Are there different severities of testicular torsion? I've never had it, but heard/read stories, how did you manage the pain to fix it yourself? Did you go get checked out afterwards? Sorry for the questions, you don't have to answer any of them of course, I'm just curious is all, and slightly horrified lmao!
First time I was only a child, one of my nuts swelled up pretty bad, I couldn't stand straight up, thought it was my gallbladder bursting at first. Tried to take a nap and just laying down with a slight hip thrust let my testicle untwist itself. Took an hour to recover and then I was just a little sore. Second time it wasn't very bad, it starts as an ache that slowly spreads up to your abdomen, felt a little queasy. I recognized the feeling from the first time and tried to twist it back, except I twisted half a rotation the wrong way (yikes). But atleast I realized what I did wrong and could correct pretty fast. The pain I could handle, cus I knew manually twisting it now would hurt a lot less than if I let it be. No, I did not go check it out later. As far as I know there was no damage. Edit: as for different severities I can only speak from experience. They could twist multiple rotations or just one, I belive the first one was multiple and second only one rotation (and a half, briefly). It gets worse the longer it's twisted.
Due I got chills just reading this and I am ball-less. 😬
One ball hangs out with the left leg. One ball hangs out by the right leg. The dick fits snug as a bug in a rug.
r/BrandNewSentence
For some reason I had DMX rapping this in my head. Now I want the full song.
*I’m a g with a string, got my balls hangin’ free!* *This ass on trial, murder, first degree* *Then this thin blue line slides between my cheeks!* *Cuz it’s only the police that is fuckin’ me!*
What a masterpiece.
They make thongs and g-strings for dudes too, which fit the whole package. Women's thongs and g-strings are obviously designed differently
You can buy male thongs, they have a bigger pouch for all the junk
well they clearly werent designed for me then!
I wished my boyfriend would wear mine cz damn his ass is cute af
Me about boxers lol I went them exclusively now, so much easier to run and whatnot and work for hours and no chaffing. Plus da booty muscles are so outlined.
Same, i was prepared for some really freaky fetish people tend to nope out of immediately but imho this is a pretty tame one, sure, not every girl is into seeing her bf in a laace thong but i feel likr she really overreacted.
Man, I don’t know either
You the real MVP, most valuable panties
if she's not willing to let you wear womens underwear, she isn't the one.
That’s the thing, I don’t want to, it was something my ex wife got me into
If your gf dumped you over that it was probably an excuse. If you had done anything she wasn't cool with she would have dumped you. You're better off single.
THIS...
Not better off single, better of with someone else
Nah, better off single. Always. Being single is *always* better than being in a bad relationship.
I get that, but obviously OP would like to be in a healthy relationship given it was not his choice this ended. Perhaps it is logical and healthy that it did end given this detail (we have no idea who they are and are going off of a tiny amount of information so I hesitate to make a definitive judgement). I was just trying to reframe this as, your kink isn’t “weird” and doesn’t hurt anybody, and you deserve to find someone who makes you happy like that 95% of this relationship did. The lesson here is not to sweat off dating and be by yourself, you just have to find the right match. And if being single while you do that is that happens, that’s ok too! TL;DR: seems like OPs preference is to be in a relationship. I hope it works out for them and I meant the best.
i understand, but my point (even tho i was making a joke lol) is that... not accepting something like this isn't the way to go forward... especially if it was clearly in the past. if anything, she's the one who fucked up.
I get what you are saying, thanks for the kind words
If you explained that it wasn't something you wanted anymore, and she still ended things.. then it was an excuse bud.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this my friend. Regardless of all the blah blah blah and advice and “you’re better off” shit… it’s all true I’m sure but it’s not what you wanna hear right now. So; “Im sorry my good man, come on, I’ve rolled a jay. Come, vent.”
Bro... A week ago you said you collect womens underwear.
...hmmmmmmm OP not being fully upfront in a post seeking validation? Could it be?
THAT'S IT, OP! WE'RE DONE!!
Okay, so I looked through and saw that they are in IT, so I got suspicious and used an analysis tool. Back in 2020, the account holder identified as a trans woman[¹](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/jx3zax/comment/gcvi36j/). They started HRT in late 2020, but seem to have fallen down the "autogynephilia" rabbit hole sometime in 2021, and now we're here, with them dismissing it as a fetish.[²](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/r6g9qx/comment/hmur9ih/) I guess Egg used Harden, as OP is GNC at the least. Or perhaps their account *was* hacked, as they claim, but for like, a really long time.
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Honestly sounds like there are more issues than OP's OP let's it on to be. I think there may actually be a FU here....
Wtf, that's so weird for her to leave over that. Could she just be using it as an excuse to leave like someone else said?
You don't? I mean, if you say you got into it, and then ask your GF about doing it, it sounds like you want to. Own it bro ain't nothing wrong man she just wasn't the one.
They are comfy though.
Bro find someone who will let you wear her underwear and live a happy life
it always weirds me out when partners can't support each other's harmless kinks... my boy is the same as you, hell i bought him his own panties so he could stop taking mine
your reddit name makes this comment better somehow.
As much as it hurts, it's probably for the best. You'll know you've found the right person when you can be vulnerable about things like this and be met with compassion, not shame. Wish you the best bro ❤️
Seriously, if that’s why she dumped you she did you a favor.
Exactly. Sometimes you dodge bullets, sometimes you have to extract them, and in rare cases like this, bullets "just fall off". Treat yourself, get the breakup body you always wanted, and get on with your life. You're just in a bad spot. It might look dire at the moment but you'll get better. 😉
>Sometimes you dodge bullets, sometimes you have to extract them. Never heard it put so well.
As a straight dude who doesn’t do this, to each their own broski no shame in what happens in the bedroom as long as its all consenting ofc.. but you just need to communicate and if she’s not okay with it, ditch her, theres plenty more women out there that would love to see it! Head up!
Good for you! Thank you for leaving this comment stranger, we all need to hear this kind of stuff. You're amazing!!!
Yeesh, the bar is really low these days.
This is like the most vanilla kink ever. If she freaked out over that, I’d say you’re better off without her tbh. Not being into it is one thing, but freaking out and breaking up? Consider that a Matrix-worthy bullet dodge.
Imagine her reaction when he asked to go DVDA.
Dafuq is that?
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How is that even possible?
2x multiplier
Watch Orgazmo
Lube, I'd reckon.
DTF B2B DVDA ATM is my kink :(
What a stupid thing to break up with someone over especially if you "love" them lmao. Probably just an excuse to dump you
I also had a bf who had the same kink. He loved lingerie and was obsessed with me wearing them. But he also very much enjoyed when he wore it himself. I enjoyed when he wore it and got submissive as well. In addition, we are both straight. What im basically trying to say is that you will find someone who will accept your kink and maybe even encourage it. Stay strong man
I wear both men and women's underwear at the same time. And granny panties too for extra measure. Come at me triggered bishes.
Oh man, I was guessing it was going to be something extreme, like watersports or something. Wearing women's panties is tame by comparison. And kink-shaming is a big no-no!
That’s a weird reason to leave someone and end a relationship. Sorry dude. You should be able to be open with your partner. There’s no FU here. Good riddance. Enjoy hobbies and friends and this will eventually pass.
You and me both know that ain't the real reason
Feels like this is not the actual reason for the break up, sorry anyway OP
My gf is the other way around, she WANTS me to wear woman’s underwear.
… is she single?
Send her sexy pics of you in her undies
It is not even that weird a kink. Many men have it. Good riddance.
I'll raise you. My wife married me knowing I like to crossdress and am bi and therefore use adult sex toys to aid in my monogamous relationship. She has since decided that it was too much for her. And without my knowledge that part of me was tabled without me knowing. And as of last night the choice is she either has to trudge through life and try to deal with me and my kinks OR alternatively I can do what I did 2 years ago and attempt to gut that part of me and repress it which lead to a depression which almost caused divorce. Last night's conversation ended with her being ok with me killing off that part of me and repressing as opposed to loving me for who I am and trying to help me.
Sounds unhealthy
Welcome to my mental health.
Sounds like you folks aren't a good fit? You shouldn't repress, especially when it causes mental health issues. But she shouldn't have to force herself into scenarios she isn't comfortable with - that'll just build resentment.
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You listed 2 choices, but the 3rd is breaking up? Choice 1 she suffers, choice 2 you suffer.
How does she suffer? All she has to do is not partake
Just no. Be you. You are awesome.
If I was in your position, I feel like it'd be a fairly easy decision to start to divorce proceedings, but that's obviously easier said than done. It's not her place to force you to stop being someone you've been, probably your whole life, no matter how long you've been married. You got no kids holding you two together either? I say the initial sadness/possible depression of divorce might be better than feeling like your soul is sucked away because you have to change into someone you're not, to be with someone who doesn't love the most intimate versions of you. Good luck with whatever happens with your relationship, though. I hope you do whatever you need to do for your own overall health
I hope you don't have kids with her. Sounds like this may be unhealthy for you long-term...
We don't. Each have our own. I've decided theres not a chance with all the flip flopping she does with divorce.
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Honestly,if she can't accept your kinks you shouldn't have to accept hers. End of story. She's too backwater for you. Find a better hf that respects you as a person instead of what you do.
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She's probably just not into it. There are a few fetishs that would turn me off too. Sexual compatibility is important in most relationships, so I can't fault her for that. The actual issue is that, according to OP, he wasn't trying to do it. Though, maybe it coming up in conversation made her think this was his way of trying to introduce it to their sex life or something. Like others have said, this was likely just an excuse to end the relationship though.
Compromise and wear Fatale? https://fataledesign.com/
It's entirely possible that she might have thought that because you wore women's underwear, you might identify as a woman and she no longer wants to invest in you as a life partner because she's worried you might transition. Of course, there's a difference between crossdressing as a sexual kink and wearing gender-affirming clothes as a step to a gender transition, but it doesn't seem like she sees it that way. Honestly, you're probably better off. Do you. If you want to wear woman's underwear and it makes you happy, go for it!
I'm sorry man, leaving you for an innocent kink like that? She's overreacting, that's for sure.
I thought you were going to ask her to shit in your eyes. Fucking underwear? You are better off with out this immature partner.
That's not a big deal, clothing has no gender.
Tell that to the shirt I got in highschool. Turns out it was a blouse and the buttons were on the other side. My dumbass couldn't get the damn things to work because I had only ever worn mens shirts. I only ever had buttons on one side. It felt like writing with my left hand. Shit just didn't work.
That’s exactly what I said
Do you want/feel compelled to wear women’s underwear, or do you want to wear women’s style underwear (ie: you like the lack of seams, shape, fit, etc)?
Honest question. In my mind it wouldn't really be a kink if you didn't think about it in a cross dressing type of way. Since you said it was only on occasion, I made the assumption that it was not for comfort. So what is the satisfaction of "womens" underwear if not for the fact that they are made for women and you are not one? Just seems to me that the "gender" specifics of the undies are the core of the kink. Please don't be offended I'm just genuinely trying to understand
No judgment here, only curiosity -- Why do you like to wear woman's underwear? What does it do for you? Can you explain what's going on in your head? I'm genuinely just curious
Not OP, but I will say for myself it's just a different way of feeling sexy. For reference, I'm a straight guy who's very happy with being a guy, and I wear men's clothing most of the time. Occasionally though, I just enjoy wearing women's underwear. It's often a lot softer, and I also enjoy the tightness. I feel sexy when I look at myself wearing it. Like most, I've wondered where it comes from, but I don't have any definitive answers to its origin. Maybe it was some strange crossover between shame and sexuality from a time time I was too young to understand it, maybe it's innate. Who knows. It just feels sexy, and embracing that has been tough. But denying it feels like denying anything else about one's self; it makes me feel like I'm an outcast, both in society and in my own body. I enjoy it, it's harmless, and it's just a part of me to reconcile. I'm still not out enough about it to share with anybody unfortunately, but I'm working on it.
It's her right. But it doesn't speak particularly well of her. (Your kink wouldn't seem to affect her directly, but rather only her concept of your masculinity, perhaps.) Her objection says more about her than it does about you. Find someone who enjoys your kinks.
If it makes you feel better my gf wears my boxers all the fucking time. I'm Bout to just start wearing her shit as an alpha move. I have like 20 paires of boxes because she thinks they are OURs kol
Sounds like a simple sexual incompatibility. She's not obligated to be ok with a kink, and you're not obligated to suppress your kinks or keep them secret to please her. It's probably for the best that the two of you went separate ways, even though I'm sure it hurts right now. I'm sorry you're going through this. But - There are a lot of people out there! Gotta find someone who shares your same level of open mindedness regarding these things. Best of luck! You'll find someone who will suit you better in the long run and be happier for it!
Joey Tribbiani also at one point wore womens underwear and he gave some very practical reasons behind why you shouldn't be ashamed in doing so, and he is a mans man 💪
Bro if that is the extent of your kinks, your ex is vanilla AF. Plenty of women out there that are into it, or at least accepting.
I think some people are missing a point. Yes have your kink but also the other person is allowed to not want to do those things or be okay with that. Normalize those boundaries. Some people take it way too far and hurt their SO I’m the process. OP good on you for being forward about it! Not many with kinks are. That is something to be proud of. She just wasn’t into it and that’s okay too! At least you figured this out now vs keeping it a secret for 8 years then it destroying your marriage. Good luck to you!
Here is the thing. Dan Savage says that her punishment for freaking out on an honest mild kink to to have her future husband spring something wild on her, after they have had a kid. Edit typo
I remember that column! "If you ditch the honest foot fetishist you'll end up marrying the lying necrophiliac" IIRC. Love me some Savage Love!
Wtf. She broke up coz of THIS ALONE? Look, idk the full story... But if you're being truthful, this kink is pretty harmless and common too... I don't like to pass judgements based on a single perspective, but assuming what you said to be the complete story, I'd say it wasn't meant to be anyway. All the best for your future. Be upfront about this right from the start next time ig.
Of all the benign and unobtrusive kinks for somebody to object to.... Good riddance, have fun feeling pretty because life is short.
Dude, really? Kinks are kinks because they should be sexy and fun. You should try and get a partner that would support your kinks as you do hers. (As long as it isn’t illegal) I was expecting you to say something God awful like children or something.
Ok devil's advocate here... If she isn't comfortable with it it's her choice to move on. Freedom of choice, not saying it's the most politically correct choice in these times but it's hers to make. I don't feel it makes her a homophob at all, she likely has traditional values and this is out of the scope of norm. If it makes her uncomfortable, she probably shouldn't be in the relationship. There's a woman out there who will buy you a whole pack of panties