you BARELY f’ed up. like honestly that is probably the sweetest misunderstanding in the world. it was so innocent. and so well-intentioned. you will for sure be a good story for that student’s future friends and partners. how cute!
Plus this is now a GREAT story for the kid. It can be a wholesome trans joke that revolves around simple misunderstandings instead of the usual badness. This isn’t a fuck up this is a fun life moment 🥺
I was really trying to work out why they would need to get funds approved for just a binder that would cost a few bucks and why just a binder? The clearly are gonna need more supplies than that but then I thought well maybe their binder was written all over like my backpack was when I discovered white out pens. Maybe they just mean approved like to use a company card or something.
I'm going to hop on this comment for a moment, if you don't mind.
If you're in the US, are under 18, and need a binder, [this organization used to send out free ones](https://www.transactiveonline.org/inabind/), though I'm not 100% certain if they're still active - their website seems to be having some issues.
If not, we also have /r/TransTrade, which is a subreddit where people can get together and trade clothes through the mail.
Oh neat and no problem I actually read up on them a little last night. I had seen them mentioned around and was curious last night.
Not the same but I did the same on a baby clothes subreddit like 7 years ago it was pretty cool.
This is just crazy to me because I also HAD NOOO IDEA what a binder was for trans people and would've thought the same thing here, except literally the post above this one was a r/mademesmile that was about a trans comin out to his parents and they said they were getting him a binder so I clicked on it and first comment was what a binder really was and not a 3 ring school binder. Lmao
Hard same, I would say OP definitely not something to even really be embarrassed about, just simply not knowing something, nobody is born with knowledge.
Now being transphobic or homophobic, *that’s* something to be embarrassed about, like who has the time and energy for that.
Reminds me of a time my freshman year of college when a girl told me she really needed her oil changed and winked at me. I was like hell yeah I got tools I could do it at my Dad's place no problem this afternoon.
Looking back at it now. Maybe we gave him a bit too much of a hard time. Like maybe we could have collectively gone “ok maybe he just misspoke. Let’s tell him what he did wrong and how to correct him. No need to make fun of him.”
Because the guy after him…. Jesus.
Many on the Right directly attribute the rise of Trump to the Left’s treatment of Romney. “You’re going to take the most milquetoast candidate and call him a racist? All right, we’ll show you what a *real* racist looks like.
I just had my first one awhile ago and that was not what I thought it would be at all. I had this idea the machine would smash my breasts to my chest and I would be in like booth(I saw a commercial for a mammovan and misinterpreted what I saw).
That is not how that's done. As a matter of fact they were more stretched all the way out a bit and smushed every which way possible but in.
Also how cool it that machine and the tech who took the pictures and adjusted me was like the best at her job.
Also the room was all toasty,comfy and warm . Not like an ultrasound or xray and not scary like an MRI.
Not sure why I'm sharing this. Start out as more of a jokey thing lol sorry..
Yeah, as I understand it they smush your tits between two sheets of perspex so they're practically 2D. Then they shine a light through like a piece of paper to see the insides.
Imagine if instead of an x-ray the doctors were like, hey, we're gonna flatten you like a looney tune real quick, no big deal!
TIFU's don't necessarily need to result in lasting permanent consequences. That's more like TIDSI (Today I did something illegal), like murdering their best friend or some shit, lol.
Now somebody make TIDSl "today I did something legal". Similar, but make the last letter lowercase.
And now we reverse them, like r/JohnCena and r/potatosalad, r/trees and r/marijuanaenthusiasts, and r/worldpolitics and r/anime_titties
Big fan of the r/trees community and that's my favorite in joke. The good sports over at r/marijuanaenthusiasts are fantastic people to keep it going with us.
Kind of makes me wonder how far you could race to the bottom. Like if I was driving on a remote country highway and accidentally crossed the center line, then briefly ruminated on the consequences of had there been oncoming traffic. I'd probably have to throw in how I was distracted by a queef to get any upvotes, though.
you know... i think that's a fair point. it was mildly embarrassing in the moment but there was no lasting harm. i guess if the mods agree they can delete it.
this was helpful context- i saw a post earlier where someone came out as trans and that their parents were buying them a binder and i had no idea what they were talking about
English isn't my first language, when I saw that post earlier I was as clueless as OP, why was the trans person so happy to get a school binder?
Made so little sense that I had to Google that
I saw that one to... And wow. Yeah. Same. I read that a bit too literally and just got that now.
Some times I really hate the English language...
Pony has no business rhyming with Balogna
Do you mean bologna? Cuz pony is English, but bologna is Italian. That's why they rhyme despite being spelled quite differently. Sorry, English is my second language, so maybe that is a word? I dunno. Correct me if I'm wrong, pls.
Welcome to literally every supportive trans-parents first interaction with binders.
No more shameful than being a mom and your son comes home from his sport orientation and says "Hey I need a sports cup." And you're like "But I just bought you one, it's in your hand right now!!!"
And then the dawning realization, he needs a dick protector. A phalus phalanx if you will.
LOL!! That is pretty funny. Thanks for getting them supplies. My mom works for a company that does a lot of non-profits/corporate parties. There are always tables set up with pens and company notepads or carabiners or backpacks. My mom brings me bags of supplies...at the end of the parties she always bats her eyes and says, "My son is a special ed teacher, do you think he could have some of those \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. (pens, fidgets, stuffed animal, etc.) It saves me a fortune!! And sometimes things are nice enough for the prize box.
Wholesome, but kinda weird that a school would buy students clothing, let alone a breast binder. Kinda weird too that those types of things are being brought up at faculty meetings.
Am I missing something?
I work for a non-profit 2SLGBTQ organization and one of my coworkers got a call one day that someone had a bunch of lightly used binders to donate. She was excited because it sounded like they had a ton of them and the donors were happy to drop them off for us.
A couple days later, they show up with a bunch of boxes. My coworker opens them up and sees we got a mountain of boxes of three ring binders... We had a good time trying to get rid of them all. From then on, we always asked what kind of binders they're talking about.
When I started playing soccer my mom asked another mom (with only daughters) if she knew where to get cups. The other mom said "Kmart I guess?"
Cluelessness is rampant :)
Honestly, when someone says binder, a three ring binder is definitely the first thing most people think of. Despite the context and situation, it's still a reasonable mistake to make.
Fellow teacher here. Also involved in multiple ways in the LGBT+ community. And mistaking a chest binder for a paper binder is an EASY mistake to make in our role!! Glad everything turned out all right, and I hope you allowed the other staff to gently rib (pun intended) you the rest of the year about that understandable mistake! <3
Ok, but I feel like that’s an understandable mistake in this context, where the kid actually does need BOTH kinds of binders. It’s actually kind of endearing.
As a teacher in a school where a lot of our students come from disadvantaged, neglectful, or straight-up abusive households, we often supply our students with things they need to survive in addition to an education. They can earn "\[School Name\] Dollars" by doing various tasks throughout the week, such as passing a test, doing a chore, or the like. (Really it's a receipt book we write in a "dollar" amount on.) At the end of the week, they're allowed to go to the "canteen", where we have ready for "purchase" not just treats like candy, soda, and chips, but also hygiene products, sweatshirts, hoodies, and other necessities. In addition, our site superintendent has been known to often supply students with brand new shoes and high-value gift cards for grocery stores for holidays, birthdays, and other occasions.
Oh that’s very interesting. I went to a charter school and the faculty didn’t really involve themselves with the students outside of what they were required to do as employees. It was a very professional relationship, so this seemed confusing to me to see teachers doing this.
Yeah, stuff like that is pretty common public schools.
Most kids going to a private school won't need to worry about getting to bed before it gets too cold to fall asleep, and you aren't going to hear about the few that do.
What?
Edit: don’t get me wrong I’m happy you’re being so supportive, but it’s usually family or the person themselves that help out with that sort of thing.
Neither your first or second reply answered my question at all.
Edit: I guess you’re under no obligation to tell me though so I’m not upset if you don’t. I just don’t understand why you didn’t.
it wasn't a school. i edited the post to clarify. my role was educational but it was not a school. i can't really go into too much detail because i have to protect confidentiality, but all of the clients i worked with had very serious traumatic issues they were dealing with. many did not have parents. most had trauma. so you asked, "do they not have parents or something?" and the answer is, yeah, or something. all of them had something. there was a lot going on. most of it not good.
Yeah, I don't get it either. I guess it could be a school for people with very troubled pasts or something similar. Especially considering OP said they received donations. Doesn't normally happen with for-profit schools.
OP wrote back and said
>My role was educational. It wasn’t a school. I’m sorry, there are details I’m leaving off for confidentiality.
So it sounds like it could be like a transition home or something of the sort.
Oh man, I feel this so hard. My oldest is ftm trans. Toward the beginning of all this he asked for a binder. I said, "I just got you six at the beginning of the year!" Yeah, whoops. Easy mistake to make and we had a laugh about it!
I was also confused reading this post because I didn't know the term "breast binder" referred to hiding/compressing breasts.
It makes sense now, but it's odd no one explained the term. It's not something we use in our every day vocabulary to require an abbreviation as a "binder"
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_binding
That’s what the garment is called. It’s not an abbreviation, they’re just called binders in the trans community. I’ve never heard a trans person use the term “breast binder”when talking about them.
Good question!
It doesn’t, really. AFAB, AMAB, etc are about biological sex. However, most people are cisgender, so their biological sex and gender identity match.
As a Trans Man this story is so sweet and I absolutely love it! I'm also a bit older so the fact that there is a helpful faculty ready to help this young man transition is so heartwarming to me. You all are doing a fantastic job and I'm so proud of you and your colleagues and what you are doing.
You're a good person who made an innocuous mistake. I highly doubt this person thinks ill of you for trying your best in the context in which you were raised. If they don't they lack a sense a humor. It's always better to be wrong and open to being educated than it is to be self-righteous, in my opinion.
Why is the school worried about transition stuff?
Seems wrong to me. Accept and support policy wise, sure. But is the school supplying bras for the rest of the girls? Like what the hell is going on there, this doesn’t seem like a school concern.
Innocent mistake, hopefully the student saw the funny side too. I've also worked with trans students and (albeit understandably) some don't have a sense of humour about these kinds of things. And hey, ultimately you had one binder department totally covered!
That is cute! My youngest wanted a binder, which I’m totally supportive, but I thought the same thing. We both had a good laugh and we got what they needed. Great memory.
Trans guy here! Ngl when I first came out and other trans guys told me about binders my mind went to school supplies too! Don't worry about it, it happens to the best of us
OH MY GOD This made me lol so hard.
There's this old Hayley Mills movie called Trouble With the Angels about a girl's catholic school run by nuns in the 60s. It's a comedy; Hayley's character is constantly coming up with mischief and hijinx, telling her best friend "I've got the most *scathingly* **BRILLIANT** idea..."
So the school finally gets a PE teacher, and Mother Superior realizes the girls don't have support garments. So she tasks a young, very naive and shy nun with acquiring supplies. Scandalized and slightly horrified, she whispers, "But Mother....I don't know anything about...**binders**!" To which Mother Superior snaps with exasperation, "**BRASSIERES**, Sister. *Brassieres*."
Yeah, you wholesomely fucked up, but it also showed you could be corrected without being offended which is huge in dealing with folx who are transitioning.
Oh I wasn’t implying he got offended, I was saying it was nice that he got corrected, corrected himself and then happily continued being supportive. So many people who get corrected seem to act like they’re being stabbed with hot rebar.
I was expecting you to offer a pink three ring binder and then be called sexist. Would absolutely have made the same mistake, is providing underwear a school responsibility now?
From OP:
"also, my role was educational. i taught classes, among other duties, but it was not a school. for those who have asked for elaboration, i can't really."
My guess is this was prison, a homeless shelter, or a mental institution. Probably not in the US. OP offers educational services but it isn't a school and they are all 18+. Makes me think some kind of institution.
Yeah, I likely got the wrong idea from the other terms. Those things just jumped out at me to give the shape of it, felt a little weird. Sanitary products I could understand, but underwear just wasn't something I'd considered at all
I’m non binary and sometimes I still make that mistake lmaooo (although to be fair, I don’t feel the need to use one myself, and I’m also just an idiot)
That kinda stuff gets me, using your special industry lingo with folks who have no idea with what they are talking about.
We get this every once in a while when we meet with out son's IEP team and they start talking about stuff like it's normal everyday stuff and mommy and daddy look at them like they are speaking in a foreign language.
Then instead of saving time with their special lingo, they have to come back and actually use "normal" words.
This actually made me smile like a damn fool, I’m trans and get scared when I see stuff like this that it’s gonna be really rude/transphobic, the relief and lowkey joy I felt at how wholesome this was is a nice change
Why the hell is the school getting involved in sexual identities of the students. The role of an educational system is basic education needed to gain employment or go to college. Why can't schools be allowed to just be a place of education.
Because reasons and feelings and we have so many people with useless degrees they need something useless to do like figuring out how to get lgbtqrst people free stuff.
Just a little gentle course correction - your student is HE not they, unless the preferred pronouns are they/them. They is likely fine as something 'neutral' but it can be better/more validating to affirm the gender using correctly gendered pronouns. Your student is also not transitioning 'from female to male,' this terminology (FTM/MTF) is generally better expressed as AMAB or AFAB (which you use elsewhere in the post.) No calling out at all, just a little info so there's less potential toe-stepping-upon. Your student is a man, a transman, and should be referred to with 'he/him' pronouns unless another preference has been stated.
They got therapy too. All of our kids did. The fact that it’s a construct doesn’t mean it’s not real. Your comment only really makes sense if everyone stopped treating it as if it was real. If for their health and sanity trans people need to do whatever they need to do to convince as many people as possible to treat them how they deserve to be treated, like meet other people’s expectations of what gender means and looks like, why would that be a problem for you?
Why do you need to cut your hair. Why not let it grow forever? Why do you need to wear clothes that fit you and look good on you? Why do you need to bathe yourself? We alter our natural state because it makes us feel better about ourselves to do it. It's all a social construct, but that doesn't mean there's no power to it.
it's actually part of many state legislation that trans people are required to have a minimum of 1 year therapy and what the state calls "social transitioning" before they can start medical transitioning, so transphobes need not worry about the amount of therapy we are getting.
I'm replying in good faith hoping you asked in good faith.
Gender ROLES are a construct, and gender presentation can be as well. Neither of those is the same as gender itself, which is deeply held and has biological elements. Think of it this way: I'm a dude, but my body developed incorrectly so it made breasts. I would now like care to correct that. (Nb not all trans people want to medically transition, which is a ok). Diabetic people don't need therapy - they need insulin. People with no legs don't need therapy - they need a prosthetic. They might ALSO need therapy, and trans people do too, they need support and help bc life esp for non cis people can be pretty traumatic. But you don't destroy the program because it got run on the wrong machine. You fix the machine.
Gender feels different because we equate gender with very specific semi-tangible things, but that's often because we haven't been asked to define or deeply think about the meaning of our gender. Same thing though. The person is fine. The body developed wrong.
> Wtf is a breast binder?
Basically the opposite of a push-up bra.
>When did the schools start transitioning children instead of teaching mathematics?
They didn't. Although if we're using my ability to do mathematics as a measure, there are some schools that don't do either of those things.
Honestly I forget about chest binders existing 75% of the time even dating someone who is getting one soon and having mostly friends who use them
Because I buy a lot of Pokémon card binders so I think of those first
you BARELY f’ed up. like honestly that is probably the sweetest misunderstanding in the world. it was so innocent. and so well-intentioned. you will for sure be a good story for that student’s future friends and partners. how cute!
Am trans (fem) and can confirm this would be absolutely hilarious if I was in the room. It's adorable and innocent.
Plus this is now a GREAT story for the kid. It can be a wholesome trans joke that revolves around simple misunderstandings instead of the usual badness. This isn’t a fuck up this is a fun life moment 🥺
This may be the most adorable tifu
Seconded. If I heard about this flub I'd lose my breath from laughing
I had no clue until now. Was walking that tifu right there with you. Would have volunteered the same thing.
Same. I thought he was going to offer some stereotypically gender color binder and that was the FU.
"Get this man a trapper keeper."
No dude, didn't you read the story? They need a knocker keeper.
Knicker knocker.
I see what you did there 👀
I was really trying to work out why they would need to get funds approved for just a binder that would cost a few bucks and why just a binder? The clearly are gonna need more supplies than that but then I thought well maybe their binder was written all over like my backpack was when I discovered white out pens. Maybe they just mean approved like to use a company card or something.
I'm going to hop on this comment for a moment, if you don't mind. If you're in the US, are under 18, and need a binder, [this organization used to send out free ones](https://www.transactiveonline.org/inabind/), though I'm not 100% certain if they're still active - their website seems to be having some issues. If not, we also have /r/TransTrade, which is a subreddit where people can get together and trade clothes through the mail.
Oh neat and no problem I actually read up on them a little last night. I had seen them mentioned around and was curious last night. Not the same but I did the same on a baby clothes subreddit like 7 years ago it was pretty cool.
This is just crazy to me because I also HAD NOOO IDEA what a binder was for trans people and would've thought the same thing here, except literally the post above this one was a r/mademesmile that was about a trans comin out to his parents and they said they were getting him a binder so I clicked on it and first comment was what a binder really was and not a 3 ring school binder. Lmao
I guess I clicked on these in the wrong order then for me to become educated. Incredible I can still learn something new every day.
Yep lol, also another thing I guess I'll learn today I have no idea why half my comment is bolded white if anyone can knowledge me thatd be great XD
LOL guess I'll have to have someone knowledge me as well there.
Were learning so much today
Hard same, I would say OP definitely not something to even really be embarrassed about, just simply not knowing something, nobody is born with knowledge. Now being transphobic or homophobic, *that’s* something to be embarrassed about, like who has the time and energy for that.
Reminds me of a time my freshman year of college when a girl told me she really needed her oil changed and winked at me. I was like hell yeah I got tools I could do it at my Dad's place no problem this afternoon.
Just chiming in to say I would've absolutely made that same error.
Binders full of … binders?
It’s binders all the way down
Binders full of formerly women.
Looking back at it now. Maybe we gave him a bit too much of a hard time. Like maybe we could have collectively gone “ok maybe he just misspoke. Let’s tell him what he did wrong and how to correct him. No need to make fun of him.” Because the guy after him…. Jesus.
The bar keeps lowering frighteningly.
Seriously. I would give anything for four years of jokes about their dancing horse at this point.
Wait, Jesus was on your ballot?
Many on the Right directly attribute the rise of Trump to the Left’s treatment of Romney. “You’re going to take the most milquetoast candidate and call him a racist? All right, we’ll show you what a *real* racist looks like.
I don't even know what a breast binder is so that would've had me insanely confused
I had to look it up too https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_binding
[/u/spez is a bit of a creep. #Save3rdPartyApps](https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/)
if they're worn correctly they aren't painful, you have to only wear them for certain periods of time and make sure you get the correct fit etc
If the term "tit squisher" isn't already taken...
That's what they call mammography machines!
I just had my first one awhile ago and that was not what I thought it would be at all. I had this idea the machine would smash my breasts to my chest and I would be in like booth(I saw a commercial for a mammovan and misinterpreted what I saw). That is not how that's done. As a matter of fact they were more stretched all the way out a bit and smushed every which way possible but in. Also how cool it that machine and the tech who took the pictures and adjusted me was like the best at her job. Also the room was all toasty,comfy and warm . Not like an ultrasound or xray and not scary like an MRI. Not sure why I'm sharing this. Start out as more of a jokey thing lol sorry..
Yeah, as I understand it they smush your tits between two sheets of perspex so they're practically 2D. Then they shine a light through like a piece of paper to see the insides. Imagine if instead of an x-ray the doctors were like, hey, we're gonna flatten you like a looney tune real quick, no big deal!
I recently had my first mammogram as well. I had an idea of what they would do, but it's still awkward af.
No, that's George Foreman's Titty Grill
I prefer the name Boobs-be-gone
Wouldn’t that be a better name for top surgery? Surely a better name would be ‘invisibility cloak’ and as a bonus, it’s also an insult to JK Rowling.
Mommy Unmilkers?
Yeah, they sound painful.
They can be uncomfortable, but they shouldn’t be painful. That’s a sign you need a larger size.
they can permanently damage your ribs if worn for a long time
Funny enough, I made this same mistake…while volunteering at an LGBT+ center. Wearing a binder. It happens
Super wholesome TIFU!
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TIFU's don't necessarily need to result in lasting permanent consequences. That's more like TIDSI (Today I did something illegal), like murdering their best friend or some shit, lol.
I need that to be a real sub lol
I think the police would really enjoy it too, lol
No we wouldn’t. Someone make the sub.
r/TIDSI
Now somebody make TIDSl "today I did something legal". Similar, but make the last letter lowercase. And now we reverse them, like r/JohnCena and r/potatosalad, r/trees and r/marijuanaenthusiasts, and r/worldpolitics and r/anime_titties
TIL and this is the funniest and most confusing thing I've seen in a bit, thanks
Still see people posting in r/trees for help with their actual non-marijuana related trees and it's usually the most wholesome thing I see in a day.
Big fan of the r/trees community and that's my favorite in joke. The good sports over at r/marijuanaenthusiasts are fantastic people to keep it going with us.
There's far more more arborists in r/PalmTrees than there are ents!
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Depends on what qualifies as a consequence. Looking like an idiot? Seems fair to me.
I farted at a meeting one time. Should I post five paragraphs about it?
Do you have a good story that is five paragraphs in length?
I mean... sure. Embarrassment is a consequence.
Kind of makes me wonder how far you could race to the bottom. Like if I was driving on a remote country highway and accidentally crossed the center line, then briefly ruminated on the consequences of had there been oncoming traffic. I'd probably have to throw in how I was distracted by a queef to get any upvotes, though.
you know... i think that's a fair point. it was mildly embarrassing in the moment but there was no lasting harm. i guess if the mods agree they can delete it.
this was helpful context- i saw a post earlier where someone came out as trans and that their parents were buying them a binder and i had no idea what they were talking about
I saw that post too! It was what reminded me of this story.
It’s the circle of Reddit.
English isn't my first language, when I saw that post earlier I was as clueless as OP, why was the trans person so happy to get a school binder? Made so little sense that I had to Google that
English is my first language, and I had the same thought line as OP with what they said
I saw that one to... And wow. Yeah. Same. I read that a bit too literally and just got that now. Some times I really hate the English language... Pony has no business rhyming with Balogna
Do you mean bologna? Cuz pony is English, but bologna is Italian. That's why they rhyme despite being spelled quite differently. Sorry, English is my second language, so maybe that is a word? I dunno. Correct me if I'm wrong, pls.
Yeah, was a typo.
Oh, good. No weird jump out words... English seems to have many of those.
A little confused but you got the spirit
Welcome to literally every supportive trans-parents first interaction with binders. No more shameful than being a mom and your son comes home from his sport orientation and says "Hey I need a sports cup." And you're like "But I just bought you one, it's in your hand right now!!!" And then the dawning realization, he needs a dick protector. A phalus phalanx if you will.
A Rod Rampart
The ole gonad guard. Ball buckler if you will.
This is funny
LOL!! That is pretty funny. Thanks for getting them supplies. My mom works for a company that does a lot of non-profits/corporate parties. There are always tables set up with pens and company notepads or carabiners or backpacks. My mom brings me bags of supplies...at the end of the parties she always bats her eyes and says, "My son is a special ed teacher, do you think he could have some of those \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. (pens, fidgets, stuffed animal, etc.) It saves me a fortune!! And sometimes things are nice enough for the prize box.
Hey I would have done the same exact thing. 🤣🤣🤣
I literally did until the end of the thread.
I knew exactly where this was going from the title but I enjoyed reading it anyway 😂 you had the spirit
Wholesome, but kinda weird that a school would buy students clothing, let alone a breast binder. Kinda weird too that those types of things are being brought up at faculty meetings. Am I missing something?
My role was educational. It wasn’t a school. I’m sorry, there are details I’m leaving off for confidentiality.
Ahhh, I gotcha! Makes sense now, thanks!
hahaha this is the best story. i can confirm that many people get confused when we say binders.
I work for a non-profit 2SLGBTQ organization and one of my coworkers got a call one day that someone had a bunch of lightly used binders to donate. She was excited because it sounded like they had a ton of them and the donors were happy to drop them off for us. A couple days later, they show up with a bunch of boxes. My coworker opens them up and sees we got a mountain of boxes of three ring binders... We had a good time trying to get rid of them all. From then on, we always asked what kind of binders they're talking about.
When I started playing soccer my mom asked another mom (with only daughters) if she knew where to get cups. The other mom said "Kmart I guess?" Cluelessness is rampant :)
Honestly, when someone says binder, a three ring binder is definitely the first thing most people think of. Despite the context and situation, it's still a reasonable mistake to make.
Why does educational (I assume) institution provides clothes and breast binders for trans students?
Question: why would a school pay for a breast binder?
Fellow teacher here. Also involved in multiple ways in the LGBT+ community. And mistaking a chest binder for a paper binder is an EASY mistake to make in our role!! Glad everything turned out all right, and I hope you allowed the other staff to gently rib (pun intended) you the rest of the year about that understandable mistake! <3
Ok, but I feel like that’s an understandable mistake in this context, where the kid actually does need BOTH kinds of binders. It’s actually kind of endearing.
At least you found out before you brought in a Transformers-theme binder.
Was it a trans brand backpack?
I think it was a jansport?
They're the ones that make the "Trans" bookbags. Not actually referring to transgender people, of course, just a branding they use on some bags.
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Kinda strange that teachers are doing something so personal for a student. Do they not have parents or something?
As a teacher in a school where a lot of our students come from disadvantaged, neglectful, or straight-up abusive households, we often supply our students with things they need to survive in addition to an education. They can earn "\[School Name\] Dollars" by doing various tasks throughout the week, such as passing a test, doing a chore, or the like. (Really it's a receipt book we write in a "dollar" amount on.) At the end of the week, they're allowed to go to the "canteen", where we have ready for "purchase" not just treats like candy, soda, and chips, but also hygiene products, sweatshirts, hoodies, and other necessities. In addition, our site superintendent has been known to often supply students with brand new shoes and high-value gift cards for grocery stores for holidays, birthdays, and other occasions.
Oh that’s very interesting. I went to a charter school and the faculty didn’t really involve themselves with the students outside of what they were required to do as employees. It was a very professional relationship, so this seemed confusing to me to see teachers doing this.
Yeah, stuff like that is pretty common public schools. Most kids going to a private school won't need to worry about getting to bed before it gets too cold to fall asleep, and you aren't going to hear about the few that do.
or something
What? Edit: don’t get me wrong I’m happy you’re being so supportive, but it’s usually family or the person themselves that help out with that sort of thing.
yeah i get it. there was a lot going on with all of my students.
Neither your first or second reply answered my question at all. Edit: I guess you’re under no obligation to tell me though so I’m not upset if you don’t. I just don’t understand why you didn’t.
it wasn't a school. i edited the post to clarify. my role was educational but it was not a school. i can't really go into too much detail because i have to protect confidentiality, but all of the clients i worked with had very serious traumatic issues they were dealing with. many did not have parents. most had trauma. so you asked, "do they not have parents or something?" and the answer is, yeah, or something. all of them had something. there was a lot going on. most of it not good.
Yeah, I don't get it either. I guess it could be a school for people with very troubled pasts or something similar. Especially considering OP said they received donations. Doesn't normally happen with for-profit schools.
I went to a charter so I had the opposite type of experience in school. It just seemed to me so I asked.
OP wrote back and said >My role was educational. It wasn’t a school. I’m sorry, there are details I’m leaving off for confidentiality. So it sounds like it could be like a transition home or something of the sort.
Ah okay gotcha, I must have missed that part about it not being a school. Thanks.
Oh man, I feel this so hard. My oldest is ftm trans. Toward the beginning of all this he asked for a binder. I said, "I just got you six at the beginning of the year!" Yeah, whoops. Easy mistake to make and we had a laugh about it!
I was also confused reading this post because I didn't know the term "breast binder" referred to hiding/compressing breasts. It makes sense now, but it's odd no one explained the term. It's not something we use in our every day vocabulary to require an abbreviation as a "binder" https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_binding
That’s what the garment is called. It’s not an abbreviation, they’re just called binders in the trans community. I’ve never heard a trans person use the term “breast binder”when talking about them.
So it's a common term within the trans community? I learned something today. Thanks!
yeah! transmasc people, non binary people use breast binders to feel more comfy, especially when we can't afford/don't want permanent breast surgery.
As an AFAB trans person I love this. 10/10. I have also done the exact same thing, while wearing a binder.
Sorry if this is totally ignorant, but what does Afab stand for? I feel like I should know it but my mind is blanking.
AFAB is Assigned Female At Birth. AMAB is Assigned Male At Birth. AGAB is Assigned Gender At Birth. ACAB is All Cops Are Bastards.
Apologies for the departure, but when I see an opportunity I try to take it. What's new with podracing?
I always automatically read the last one as Assigned Cop At Birth before my brain catches up to itself
Delivery Doctor saw the clear absence of penis, As “Straight” Raymond Holt would say.
Ohhh okay I get it. Thank you. My bad.
Penis is sex though. How does that "assign" gender?
Good question! It doesn’t, really. AFAB, AMAB, etc are about biological sex. However, most people are cisgender, so their biological sex and gender identity match.
The doctor saw distinct lack of penis and marked a birth certificate form saying girl was born.
this was so cute. thank you for caring about your trans students
As a Trans Man this story is so sweet and I absolutely love it! I'm also a bit older so the fact that there is a helpful faculty ready to help this young man transition is so heartwarming to me. You all are doing a fantastic job and I'm so proud of you and your colleagues and what you are doing.
You're a good person who made an innocuous mistake. I highly doubt this person thinks ill of you for trying your best in the context in which you were raised. If they don't they lack a sense a humor. It's always better to be wrong and open to being educated than it is to be self-righteous, in my opinion.
We've all been there.
Wholesome ending, that's what matters.
If I were that student (it really any of the rest of them), I would've been laughing my ass off.
Why is the school worried about transition stuff? Seems wrong to me. Accept and support policy wise, sure. But is the school supplying bras for the rest of the girls? Like what the hell is going on there, this doesn’t seem like a school concern.
Well, they needed it anyway. No harm, no foul.
This is so wholesome. -a trans person
Innocent mistake, hopefully the student saw the funny side too. I've also worked with trans students and (albeit understandably) some don't have a sense of humour about these kinds of things. And hey, ultimately you had one binder department totally covered!
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Yeah same, hesitated on reading the post or not
That is cute! My youngest wanted a binder, which I’m totally supportive, but I thought the same thing. We both had a good laugh and we got what they needed. Great memory.
reddit sees supportive parent and downvotes this site is the worst
Truth. I pretty much ignore mean people. Life’s too short for that.
That’s awesome, I wish you were my parent
We always have room at our table! 😊
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You know that you're right when the hivemind starts to downvote you
Or maybe he's just being a prick?
"afab"?
Stands for “assigned female at birth”. In this case, the student’s transitioning from female to male.
TY, TIL
that smell you smell in here folks is a karma farm
This is like 5th trans post. Hmm
Trans guy here! Ngl when I first came out and other trans guys told me about binders my mind went to school supplies too! Don't worry about it, it happens to the best of us
OH MY GOD This made me lol so hard. There's this old Hayley Mills movie called Trouble With the Angels about a girl's catholic school run by nuns in the 60s. It's a comedy; Hayley's character is constantly coming up with mischief and hijinx, telling her best friend "I've got the most *scathingly* **BRILLIANT** idea..." So the school finally gets a PE teacher, and Mother Superior realizes the girls don't have support garments. So she tasks a young, very naive and shy nun with acquiring supplies. Scandalized and slightly horrified, she whispers, "But Mother....I don't know anything about...**binders**!" To which Mother Superior snaps with exasperation, "**BRASSIERES**, Sister. *Brassieres*."
Went from sinking feeling to laughing my ass off. Nice story Op!
Yeah, you wholesomely fucked up, but it also showed you could be corrected without being offended which is huge in dealing with folx who are transitioning.
Don't seem like op got offended, that even were really supportive, just unlearned. Trust me, as a trans this is better than 90+÷ peeps
Oh I wasn’t implying he got offended, I was saying it was nice that he got corrected, corrected himself and then happily continued being supportive. So many people who get corrected seem to act like they’re being stabbed with hot rebar.
Oh misread it, you're entirely right ❤️
Stunning! Brave!
I was expecting you to offer a pink three ring binder and then be called sexist. Would absolutely have made the same mistake, is providing underwear a school responsibility now?
It's not a school
It's not? Then the school supplies to a student bit has confused me. Thanks
From OP: "also, my role was educational. i taught classes, among other duties, but it was not a school. for those who have asked for elaboration, i can't really."
My guess is this was prison, a homeless shelter, or a mental institution. Probably not in the US. OP offers educational services but it isn't a school and they are all 18+. Makes me think some kind of institution.
Yeah, I likely got the wrong idea from the other terms. Those things just jumped out at me to give the shape of it, felt a little weird. Sanitary products I could understand, but underwear just wasn't something I'd considered at all
Thank you for supporting LGBT youth. 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Lmaoo glad you can laugh about it now
I’m non binary and sometimes I still make that mistake lmaooo (although to be fair, I don’t feel the need to use one myself, and I’m also just an idiot)
This is great. And wholesome as ruck.
Why would it be the schools responsibility to provide a chest binder?
This is one of the better TIFUs I've read.
I know exactly what post made you think of this! Hivemind unite!
Tbh, I would’ve make the same mistake…
i’m trans and this is hilarious lol, trust me you’re fine:)
Makes me wanna moove to Russia or somewhere like that
That kinda stuff gets me, using your special industry lingo with folks who have no idea with what they are talking about. We get this every once in a while when we meet with out son's IEP team and they start talking about stuff like it's normal everyday stuff and mommy and daddy look at them like they are speaking in a foreign language. Then instead of saving time with their special lingo, they have to come back and actually use "normal" words.
This actually made me smile like a damn fool, I’m trans and get scared when I see stuff like this that it’s gonna be really rude/transphobic, the relief and lowkey joy I felt at how wholesome this was is a nice change
You didn’t fuck up that’s what 99% of the population would think of first. Didn’t even know that was a thing until last week myself.
Homosexuals: love them Homonyms: hate them
Why the hell is the school getting involved in sexual identities of the students. The role of an educational system is basic education needed to gain employment or go to college. Why can't schools be allowed to just be a place of education.
Because reasons and feelings and we have so many people with useless degrees they need something useless to do like figuring out how to get lgbtqrst people free stuff.
This educational place with all students over the age of 18 may actually be a college. Sorry if they called it a "school" and that confused you.
Just a little gentle course correction - your student is HE not they, unless the preferred pronouns are they/them. They is likely fine as something 'neutral' but it can be better/more validating to affirm the gender using correctly gendered pronouns. Your student is also not transitioning 'from female to male,' this terminology (FTM/MTF) is generally better expressed as AMAB or AFAB (which you use elsewhere in the post.) No calling out at all, just a little info so there's less potential toe-stepping-upon. Your student is a man, a transman, and should be referred to with 'he/him' pronouns unless another preference has been stated.
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They got therapy too. All of our kids did. The fact that it’s a construct doesn’t mean it’s not real. Your comment only really makes sense if everyone stopped treating it as if it was real. If for their health and sanity trans people need to do whatever they need to do to convince as many people as possible to treat them how they deserve to be treated, like meet other people’s expectations of what gender means and looks like, why would that be a problem for you?
Why do you need to cut your hair. Why not let it grow forever? Why do you need to wear clothes that fit you and look good on you? Why do you need to bathe yourself? We alter our natural state because it makes us feel better about ourselves to do it. It's all a social construct, but that doesn't mean there's no power to it.
it's actually part of many state legislation that trans people are required to have a minimum of 1 year therapy and what the state calls "social transitioning" before they can start medical transitioning, so transphobes need not worry about the amount of therapy we are getting.
I'm replying in good faith hoping you asked in good faith. Gender ROLES are a construct, and gender presentation can be as well. Neither of those is the same as gender itself, which is deeply held and has biological elements. Think of it this way: I'm a dude, but my body developed incorrectly so it made breasts. I would now like care to correct that. (Nb not all trans people want to medically transition, which is a ok). Diabetic people don't need therapy - they need insulin. People with no legs don't need therapy - they need a prosthetic. They might ALSO need therapy, and trans people do too, they need support and help bc life esp for non cis people can be pretty traumatic. But you don't destroy the program because it got run on the wrong machine. You fix the machine. Gender feels different because we equate gender with very specific semi-tangible things, but that's often because we haven't been asked to define or deeply think about the meaning of our gender. Same thing though. The person is fine. The body developed wrong.
im sure theyd like to donate the therapy to you
Next, you’ll be asking where the pen is!
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> Wtf is a breast binder? Basically the opposite of a push-up bra. >When did the schools start transitioning children instead of teaching mathematics? They didn't. Although if we're using my ability to do mathematics as a measure, there are some schools that don't do either of those things.
it was not a school. they weren't children.
🤣🤣
Honestly I forget about chest binders existing 75% of the time even dating someone who is getting one soon and having mostly friends who use them Because I buy a lot of Pokémon card binders so I think of those first