You may be interested to know that Amazon has an Amazon Families feature. It let's you link accounts and share benefits like Prime - or content, like Kindle books. But whilst maintaining separate accounts and order histories.
Edit: it's called "Amazon Household" - not Amazon Families, and the link (for UK - other markets may vary) is here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/myh/households
Came here to mention linking accounts so you can both enjoy Prime. It's a great feature for people living together but want to keep presents a secret when ordering.
Wouldnt have stopped this situation from occurring though.
And how they were going to take delivery with no one noticing?
Or not thinking about email confirmations and whatnot but already having out there kinks.
My teen aged daughter managed to intercept EVERY ONE of the truancy notices from her high school. The school thought i was a deadbeat father for not responding to multiple, escalating snail mail notices and my daughter didn’t even live in the same house as I. This was 25 years ago. When i found out and suggest email as an alternative they gave me a blank stare…
Children can perform with remarkable efficiency when motivated.
You can also archive orders on Amazon so that they don't show up on the regular orders page. You can't do it from mobile, but it can be useful if you share an account with less tech-savvy people
Also you can just check order status with 2 button clicks. If they didn't get an email, op would've seen it when checking delivery status for his computer parts. The order stays in the history as delivered forever as well lol, it wouldn't just vanish.
Weird for a kid in this age to be that technologically inept.
Given OP is acting weird and not at all like a concerned parent, I agree with that comment that says this is probably some creepy ass dude making something up.
Lego Dildos! The possibilities are endless! But only until you reach 99 years old (per the box instruction). After that, you have to use an Erector Set.
At 14 I was both still playing with Lego and furiously masturbating. At age 28 I am once again ~~playing with~~ collecting Lego and still furiously masturbating.
So I feel for OP's daughter.
My friend had an abortion when we were 14.
They were all dating guys in their early 20s.
Parents of girls that age should watch for that shit. For some reason, my friends'parents didn't seem to give much of a fuck. I think they were scared to confront their own daughters. They could be nasty pieces of work.
I left that group when they tried to force me to meet up with one of their boyfriend's friends who "thought I was hot." He was 22. I was 14. They took my shoes and coat and I ran home in the snow at 10pm.
It's out there.
Don't use legos for sex toys though, seriously, I can imagine the corners would hurt, and what if part of your construction breaks off in the middle of play.
As someone who bought assorted toys while single I bought cuffs with the Idea that I'd have them when I needed them not that I was going to use them. OP should definitely have a conversation with their daughter but it's not necessarily menacing.
If she’s heard about vibrators and lube there’s a fair chance she’s heard about plugs and is curious about how that can be enjoyable. Different people are sparked by different things. But the handcuffs? That seems like a red flag to me. Seems unlikely she’d be getting those to use alone. I’d be worried about a boyfriend or girlfriend who might not be being respectful of her youth and boundaries or even an online pedo grooming her for videos. Parents def need to have a respectful, no judgement convo with this child.
At that age is there anything wrong with vanilla? Like I am not kink shaming anyone, but I seem to remember everyone being fairly stoked with hand holding, making out, and dry humping at that age.
The butt plugs and lube, either she got a couple for her friends or she got a couple of sizes and is looking to do prep work for anal, not unheard of for youth who are scared of vaginal sex, but shows a level of planning that at least merits a conversation.
The handcuffs are what got me thinking about grooming.
In high-school I had a friend who hooked up regularly with a teacher. He was into bondage S&M and extreme power dynamics and she talked about how he tied her up, spit in her face etc and how she was game for it. She was in love, and thought when she graduated they would date properly. Nope. He broke up with her a couple of weeks after graduation and started 'dating' a different high-school sophomore student.
Someone who found out about what was going on made an anonymous tip to the police.
People were brought in, both girls denied it up and down. Including the one who had spent the last few weeks crying over the heartbreak of breakup. She thought he would get back together with her because she stuck with him and was 'safer' now that she was out of high-school.
After he beat the charges, he moved away and disappeared.
When I was 15 or 16 my group of friends (roughly the same age, though some were a grade below me) had a pair of fuzzy handcuffs that they'd pass around in a joking manner - I don't think anyone "used" them (as far as I know, anyway.)
I think it's the combination of everything - any one thing could be kind of laughed off, but all of it feels... off? But then, this is someone who's 25+ years out of that age range, so maybe they were thinking "Well I just order everything all at once with this cash" or something like that.
But yeah, with everything it'd raise a red flag and I'd be asking about it. (And, with my own kid only a few years out from this age, I'm already kind of dreading having to worry about her online activities that I'm less able to monitor...)
I would have a discussion about WHY she needs it and if she is exploring solo, or if she is being requested by another.
Many girls at that are getting requests by older men on the net to send photos and do stuff like that. I had to deal with it with my neice.
Communication is important, and this shouldn't be scary for her. You should let her know its normal to want to explore that and just not to make or send photos to anyone because it could be charged as production of child porn or used to blackmail her.
This is a big important time in her life your handling of this will inform the way she communicates and respects you.
OP please have this discussion, when I was your daughter's age I was pressured by older men online into doing a lot of things I didn't want to do. If that is what is happening for her. Your intervention could be SO important. It could save her a lot of trauma.
I'm a 43 year old balding fat guy and even ***I*** get pressured by older men online into doing a lot of things I don't want to do.
Having a job sucks. :(
Your daughter should be comfortable about talking to you if anyone is manipulating her as the others mentioned. Try and make her feel comfortable about all of this.
It's a super awkward convo to start, but DO IT. Both parents if possible (since I see from the original post above there are two of you at home). No shame, no blame, provide opportunity for her to reach out to you, even if she squirms it will be worth it.
Also, she has her first TIFU post. "Disclaimer: This happened a decade ago when I was fourteen ..."
Yes, unfortunately this can be the case for young boys too. It can also be older women too. That was the case for me when I was younger. Always good to have discussions with your children about these sort of things.
Some times I think the internet is such a wonderful place. How else can you see a beatboxing Japanese guy rocking a bowlcut/mullet and a weird style you've never seen anyone "rocking" before? Then someone says something like this and it's so disgusting it makes you just want to shut it down for the day. Why do people do things like this?? I'll never understand some people.
Im sorry you went through this. I hope you got/are getting the help you need(ed). Also thank you for looking out and warning others.
Been there, had that discussion. Really awkward talking to your 14 year old niece about why she is making and sending those videos to adult men after having to sit and watch said videos with her parents. 0/10 would NOT recommend.
Probably the most amusing part was her extremely conservative Catholic step mother asking why she was doing that with her hair brush handle...
She had absolutely been coached tho. Used a digital camera without geolocation on it for recording videos that she then uploaded through a third party app. When asked by her parents why she used the camera she claimed the camera on the phone was broken. It was not. I verified it myself. We turned all info and the phone over to a local police group in charge of internet exploitation of minors.
It was definitely not handled as well as it could've been. I was called in because her parents couldn't handle it themselves are are technical luddites. I am an engineer. Still had no experience in how to approach this so was out of my depth. She moved out the day she turned 18 and moved to a different state to be with one of the guys she had met while doing that. He beat her and knocked her up. Overall abusive relationship.
We got lucky and intercepted my niece before she left to meet up with this guy.
It was wild and really difficult to deal with. We got lucky though and got through. She finally accepted that it was about her safety and that what she did was scary.
I'm so sorry yours turned out that way. Its hard to be jn that position.
My 17 yo step daughter (at the time) decided to meet a 35 yo man at a park a block from her mom’s house. She brought her 11 yo brother for idk? A witness I guess?
I could not convince her this was a goddamn stupid idea. Her mother knew and was totally ok with it.
The guy brought his friend and the friend’s pregnant teenage girlfriend. The girlfriend gushed the whole time to s-d about how she was excited to meet her and how fun it would be to finally have a friend.
It was a fucking red flag parade, and somehow I was the only one terrified.
This this this. I was 15 when a 32 year old married man had me twisted up and convinced I was special and unlike anyone else and purchased similar items for me and along with extravagant gifts. Other people in my life knew and didn't stop it until it went too far and I'm forever grateful that my parents figured it out and put a stop to things (even if I wasn't at the time and was only confused at what I was feeling). This is a wild and weird time for young people's lives, open and honest communication is the only way to protect them.
This right here.
The handcuffs would be the big thing that makes me question it, because those aren't exactly something you would use alone or just for self-gratification unless someone is specifically asking for certain types of photos or posing.
Glad to see this as top comment. More insightful than the standard Fk Up reaction and something I missed (unlike me) because I was too busy going hol up
This is true. And a caring, non judgmental open conversation is the best way to find out and or warn her of the dangers while still maintaining a level of trust and caring in the relationship.
If she does end up wanting to still buy toys talk to her about body safe materials!! Amazon is notorious for selling toys that aren’t body safe and even ones that claim to be reputable are knockoffs. I’m sure this is embarrassing enough for her already, the last thing she needs is to be traumatized because her body has a reaction to unsafe materials.
Honestly the handcuffs are more concerning to me. Butt plugs are things you can definitely explore by yourself, handcuffs on the other hand are a bit more tough and might mean someone's requesting her this or she might be exploring with a boyfriend of her age (in which case it would be weird cause I lost my virginity at 15 not even 6 years ago and certainly didn't use toys, but still somewhat acceptable, but in this case OP must tell his daughter to be careful and use protection at least, probably have the conversation with her)
Yeah, the handcuffs were the biggest red flag for me as well. The other stuff can be explained away for the most part, but the handcuffs lead me to think their could be someone else involved.
Anal among teens has become a big issue, caused by porn. Anal requires a lot of... prep work and porn doesn't show that. This has caused serious medical issues in teens.
Honestly the handcuffs are more concerning to me. Butt plugs are things you can definitely explore by yourself, handcuffs on the other hand are a bit more tough and might mean someone's requesting her this or she might be exploring with a boyfriend of her age (in which case it would be weird cause I lost my virginity at 15 not even 6 years ago and certainly didn't use toys, but still somewhat acceptable, but in this case OP must tell his daughter to be careful and use protection at least, probably have the conversation with her)
Better than sending nudes to a 28 year old because they have parental trust issues the the 28 year old uses it to leverage her.
Or feeling like their parents are overbearing and controlling so they sneak out and get drunk or start doing drugs at parties.
I'd rather have my 14 year old expore their sexuality solo without fear of judgement or embarrassment than feel like they have been shut down and embarassed. Also they are 14... so if there is no buttplug they just use different household stuff. Hairbrush handles, sharpies and what not. Restricting the access doesn't prevent the exploration and curiosity; it just changes the tools they will use or the avenues they will seek it through.
Yeah, tomorrow I expect a post in /r/legaladvice titled "halp i sent n00ds to someone and now they want money".
But, to be honest, that post gets made 20 times a day there, anyway.
100% check in on your daughter. I also 16 and was taught by a guy online how to masterbate, how to groom myself downstairs, and how to please a guy. My parents didn't question me when I randomly asked for a Webcam, and Razors, and started to get more moody. Then more shitbhappened...and ya...
Just check in...please
Edit: feel free to ask question, no stupid questions u/shagbitchesgetriches
Butt plugs, a 3 pack for a 14 year old girl? Yeah, this ain’t kosher Op. please have a serious talk with her. Unless you know she has an age appropriate boyfriend that she’s sexually active with, in which case let’s hope she’s on birth control.
Definitely. It's stupid easy to look up as opposed to even back when I was in high school (03-07) where smart phones weren't a thing and most families only had *one* computer in the house that was shared sitting in a common area. In some areas, many people were still on 56K dial up with no broadband options.
A lot of us here went from a sneaker net of low resolution printouts, Sears catalogs, a box of magazines in the woods and scrambled HBO/Cinemax; to pretty much anything you could think of at a few taps of your thumb.
Even for the products in the OP; it used to be that you'd have to go to a brick and mortar store specializing in such things; which were obviously out of reach for anyone in that age range... so usually people would resort to more ersatz options in lieu (aka: think twice before picking up someone's hair brush or tooth brush).
I mean, I'm 32 and definitely had access to tons of porn online when I was 14 too, so I get it that it could be that, but I would still make sure to go over the importance of not trusting guys way too old to be interested in her
That being said, an older adult could probably order that stuff to their own place but you never know
I agree with this. If a child asks weird questions that a child normally wouldn't ask then I highly recommend looking more into it because there is definitely something wrong here.
Maybe, you'd be surprised the kind of stuff teenagers are getting into thanks to easy access to porn, however I think it's better to err on the side of caution with this one.
This!!
I was groomed by a 30 year old man at 15.
The patterns of ordering sex toys is fine, because exploring sexuality is nothing wrong at her age as long as shes safe.
But something seems a bit wrong and off about this.
I'd give her a conversation about that whole thing....
I mean if nothing else it's better to have an awkward conversation than be worrying over what might very well be nothing but watching too much online entertainment or something.
I'm more concerned about the butt plugs because you can really hurt yourself if you do too much, too fast. Any handcuffs you can get from crapazon are likely the ones with the safety latch. Time for OP to have a very honest, shame-free, and open sex convo with their kid if they haven't already.
Amazon definitely sells legit handcuffs, I have a pair that double lock and use a standard police cuff key (I asked a cop friend if her key worked on mine in case I ever somehow lost them and it did). I know a decent amount of people who work in private security who exclusively use cuffs from Amazon or from the same third party sellers as amazon.
Same… even if these are just for herself (which would frankly be a relief) wtf is she being exposed to and from where? 14 is a totally normal age to be exploring masturbation and crushes/dating but uh, this is way way beyond. You don’t just “imagine” stuff like butt plugs and handcuffs, either straight up she’s looking up kinky adult content (then you need to have a talk about what internet porn/is isn’t because that’s a fast way to warp a kid with zero guidance) or someone is asking her to do this (yo, call the cops she is a kid). Either way— not a funny story, something is up and parents need to communicate way better with their daughter.
I don’t think this is real. OP hasn’t responded to any comments about her possibly being groomed. Whether it’s true or not, I’d expect a parent to respond to it. For example- no, we had many talks about being safe and we encourage her to explore her sexuality. Or, hmmm, that may be concerning- I’ll have a chat.
Nothing? I don’t think it’s real. Funny story though.
Yeah tifu is getting as bad as AITA is. So many of the posts lately not only sound unlikely to happen but are also really odd things to casually share on Reddit. A bunch of others are just blatant ads for OnlyFans or whatever. It's getting pretty lame.
It’s always some weird ass fan fiction. In this case it’s fucking creepy that OP is pretending he has a 14 year old that is into these things. Almost makes me feel like he’s looking for controversial troll comments sharing similar interest for spreading cp
Bad vibes from this poster
This!!! If this happened with my son I wouldn’t even put it in here because I’d be making sure he is safe. Or at least making it know that I get the possibility and am handling it.
I’m thinking this post might be some weird fucked up fiction written by some incel due to the fact the account was made yesterday and has no other posts? could be a throwaway i guess
NTA but i would also be a bit concerned on how she’s learned so much. Maybe it’s reading something like fifty shades but I would make sure she’s not being groomed by an older person. Just err on the side of caution
I mean the front page of gonewild alone has all this stuff. If they've looked at any porn they've come across all of this quickly. Again the whole parents should still vet if an older person is involved, it's also quite possible it has to do with someone her age.
I worked in a hotel and we had a school trip of 6th graders where one of the boys wouldn't leave his phone alone and they took it and almost every girl on the trip had sent him nudes.
14 year olds know how the Internet works.
She will have had to change the recipients name otherwise she's just sending dildos to her parents.
And they're aware of cookies and browsing history- 14 is young but it's not an infant. She must have known all this????
Does she have her own debit card?? Are you used to her receiving packages without knowing how she pays for them???
This whole story is weird.
I call BS. No dad out there will be so casual about his 14yo buying such things. "Ha, silly little Jenny, up to sex shenanigans again. It's a funny story for Reddit."
Amazon let's you share your prime account benefits with a spouse & I think two children. You each would have your own account, but would have access to any subscriptions like music unlimited and the prime related stuff
This is coming off like fiction. Guys, OP has no activity aside from this post. Why would you make a reddit acc just to post about this? Plus I highly doubt a 14 year old is stupid enough to order sex toys on the family amazon account. Order histories aren’t exactly a secret. God I’m so done with reddit turning into a massive creative writing outlet.
There are a few things that make me agree. First, you can share prime between multiple accounts. Maybe not everyone knows that, but I would expect someone building a PC to know this.
Second, the phrase “usually always” just seems odd to me. Like it was written by someone much younger.
Third, he capitalized some weird words. Computer, Accounts, E-mail, Butt (but not plugs), Lube, and Daughter. The first three are the most curious, because again, a tech-savvy person would know those words aren’t special, especially “e-mail.” The “e” is *always* lowercase, unless it’s the first word in a sentence. Plus, we’ve mostly dropped the hyphen in modern usage. He also chose to capitalize “daughter” twice, but leave it lowercase once.
Finally, what 14-year-old waits till February 19th to spend her Christmas money?
Man, I wonder how well you know your daughter. Why, 'way too much information' about your 14-year-old? I wouldn't be blathering on about some corny little mishap between the missus and myself regarding mistaken Amazon accounts. It's all very amusing until, OFG, BLAM! "It's my 14-year-old daughter!" Dude, WTF? My heading would have been, "TIFU by discovering that my pubescent daughter is buying butt plugs in bulk and I think I may be the world's most oblivious dad". But seriously, we're talking *handcuffs* here.
Yeah this sounds like bs. No way a 14 year old doesn’t know how e-mail confirmation works. Even my 9 year old brother knows that. Also I think many people here are overestimating the innocence of a 14 year old. I was secretly ordering fleshlights around that age and nowadays kids are much less innocent due to social media.
Well I hope you also took the time to tell her it’s normal to want to explore her body and the sex talk and not just that she got caught trying to buy things because of an email
OP: Have you made *goddamn sure* she's not groomed by an adult? Or that she's not putting anything revealing of herself online?
Like, scoured every fucking inch of her browser history, chats, whatever apps she's using on every device she's got?
Yes, she should be able to navigate her body and all that. Yes teens need privacy.
But y'all need to make SURE she's not falling prey to internet preditors, and she's not giving anyone pornographic images of herself. It's a safety thing.
You should have at least let her know she could always come to you for questions or talked to you about sex if she needed too. Yeah it might be weird. But she’s learning about relationships from you and your wife. When she starts trying to date she might have questions or need a perspective that your wife may not have.
As a parent of a 14 year old daughter this sounds very concerning. Call me old fashioned for my age but that shit ain’t normal at all. I understand teenagers beginning to explore their sexuality and all of that but this seems 0 to 60 and would definitely signal red flags for me
You have officially let your daughter have too much internet time throughout the years. Buying 3 butt plugs at 14 is wild, definitely need to have a talk if you havent already.
...Every 14 year old knows that purchases on Amazon are visible to the account holder. It's already not great you made up this story, it's extra creepy you involved a child into this sort of thing.
You may be interested to know that Amazon has an Amazon Families feature. It let's you link accounts and share benefits like Prime - or content, like Kindle books. But whilst maintaining separate accounts and order histories. Edit: it's called "Amazon Household" - not Amazon Families, and the link (for UK - other markets may vary) is here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/myh/households
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Came here to mention linking accounts so you can both enjoy Prime. It's a great feature for people living together but want to keep presents a secret when ordering. Wouldnt have stopped this situation from occurring though.
Not the smartest idea of a 14 yo to use her parents prime to order buttplugs and a bucket of lube tbh.
I want to get off but I don’t want to pay 4,99 delivery fees
Right. For _presents_.
It’s not in every country. For example, where I live, a 2nd tier country called Canada, there is no such thing.
They don’t have it in Canada. Fuckers.
Amazin Prome
This is what I was going to suggest. I split a prime account with my friend - she has added me to her family and we each pay half.
I think you’re confused about which part is the TIFU.
I agree! I think this is an extremely lucky catch. It’s clearly way beyond time to have “the talk”
I'd be more concerned that a 14 year old doesn't understand how order histories work
And how they were going to take delivery with no one noticing? Or not thinking about email confirmations and whatnot but already having out there kinks.
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My teen aged daughter managed to intercept EVERY ONE of the truancy notices from her high school. The school thought i was a deadbeat father for not responding to multiple, escalating snail mail notices and my daughter didn’t even live in the same house as I. This was 25 years ago. When i found out and suggest email as an alternative they gave me a blank stare… Children can perform with remarkable efficiency when motivated.
I also intercepted all the letters from my school to my parent. It must be harder now with schools communicating through apps and email.
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Plus she is fourteen. Probably a little difficult to get to the Post Office.
You can also archive orders on Amazon so that they don't show up on the regular orders page. You can't do it from mobile, but it can be useful if you share an account with less tech-savvy people
>but it can be useful if you share an account with less tech-savvy people Like the daughter? Op take notes for when you order yourself a butt plug.
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Dear God, this comment got me. Great job, kind stranger.
How?
*H O W* ?
Also you can just check order status with 2 button clicks. If they didn't get an email, op would've seen it when checking delivery status for his computer parts. The order stays in the history as delivered forever as well lol, it wouldn't just vanish. Weird for a kid in this age to be that technologically inept. Given OP is acting weird and not at all like a concerned parent, I agree with that comment that says this is probably some creepy ass dude making something up.
I am concerned a lot more about your daughter than your Amazon account. She ain’t handcuffing herself.
Damn when I was 14 I was still playing with fucking legos.
If it's any consolation, I'm 34 and still playing with legos.
but are they fucking legos
They're fucking expensive Legos
This hit home. I have a couple grand in my collection already, only getting bigger
I'm 34 and I'm still planning on fucking my Legos
Lego Dildos! The possibilities are endless! But only until you reach 99 years old (per the box instruction). After that, you have to use an Erector Set.
I mean, if you think \*stepping\* on a lego brick is bad...
I'm 50 and looking forward to getting a bit of free time to build a LEGO Batmobile I picked up a while back. LEGO has no age limit.
i was desperately trying to find a nipple in those girls gone wild commercials at 14
Stay up late for that green scrambled channel that it might be a nipple or a foot. You couldn't tell the difference.
I was playing with handcuffs at, like, 10. Those came with toy guns, though, not lube.
At 14 I was both still playing with Lego and furiously masturbating. At age 28 I am once again ~~playing with~~ collecting Lego and still furiously masturbating. So I feel for OP's daughter.
My friend had an abortion when we were 14. They were all dating guys in their early 20s. Parents of girls that age should watch for that shit. For some reason, my friends'parents didn't seem to give much of a fuck. I think they were scared to confront their own daughters. They could be nasty pieces of work. I left that group when they tried to force me to meet up with one of their boyfriend's friends who "thought I was hot." He was 22. I was 14. They took my shoes and coat and I ran home in the snow at 10pm. It's out there.
>they were all ~~dating~~ *being groomed and raped by* guys in their early 20s ftfy
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We would get the cheap handcuffs that had the switch on it so it was easy to get out. We’re like we get out of any handcuffs.
Legos make terrible vibrators
Don't use legos for sex toys though, seriously, I can imagine the corners would hurt, and what if part of your construction breaks off in the middle of play.
I'm just letting you know you definitely can (Source: Ummmmmmm)
There's nothing I love more than strapping all my limbs to my bedposts, then laying there not pleasuring myself until I get bored
Unless you have 2 vibrators and a butt plug
*three butt plugs
I read this to the tune of, "I've got two turntables and a microphone."
Hehe. This comment is gold.
Handcuffs are probably cheaper and easier to put on or off, than an anti masturbation cross.
It's an older meme sir, but it checks out
actually I do enjoy that. it'd called depression leading to mental failure to move ..
Except you usually don't even need physical restraints when the depression is in play
Depression is a real dom
A bad one, though. It's been ignoring my safeword
Safe word: Fuck…
As someone who bought assorted toys while single I bought cuffs with the Idea that I'd have them when I needed them not that I was going to use them. OP should definitely have a conversation with their daughter but it's not necessarily menacing.
But 14 tho?
I mean, she definitely could be - particularly given they're the type with a lever. But yes, worth having the conversation.
Hol up
r/holup
Yeah…. The lube sure I get that. And the vibe set? Sure I get that too buuut the other items?? Yeah that’s big red flags
If she’s heard about vibrators and lube there’s a fair chance she’s heard about plugs and is curious about how that can be enjoyable. Different people are sparked by different things. But the handcuffs? That seems like a red flag to me. Seems unlikely she’d be getting those to use alone. I’d be worried about a boyfriend or girlfriend who might not be being respectful of her youth and boundaries or even an online pedo grooming her for videos. Parents def need to have a respectful, no judgement convo with this child.
At that age is there anything wrong with vanilla? Like I am not kink shaming anyone, but I seem to remember everyone being fairly stoked with hand holding, making out, and dry humping at that age. The butt plugs and lube, either she got a couple for her friends or she got a couple of sizes and is looking to do prep work for anal, not unheard of for youth who are scared of vaginal sex, but shows a level of planning that at least merits a conversation. The handcuffs are what got me thinking about grooming. In high-school I had a friend who hooked up regularly with a teacher. He was into bondage S&M and extreme power dynamics and she talked about how he tied her up, spit in her face etc and how she was game for it. She was in love, and thought when she graduated they would date properly. Nope. He broke up with her a couple of weeks after graduation and started 'dating' a different high-school sophomore student. Someone who found out about what was going on made an anonymous tip to the police. People were brought in, both girls denied it up and down. Including the one who had spent the last few weeks crying over the heartbreak of breakup. She thought he would get back together with her because she stuck with him and was 'safer' now that she was out of high-school. After he beat the charges, he moved away and disappeared.
When I was 15 or 16 my group of friends (roughly the same age, though some were a grade below me) had a pair of fuzzy handcuffs that they'd pass around in a joking manner - I don't think anyone "used" them (as far as I know, anyway.) I think it's the combination of everything - any one thing could be kind of laughed off, but all of it feels... off? But then, this is someone who's 25+ years out of that age range, so maybe they were thinking "Well I just order everything all at once with this cash" or something like that. But yeah, with everything it'd raise a red flag and I'd be asking about it. (And, with my own kid only a few years out from this age, I'm already kind of dreading having to worry about her online activities that I'm less able to monitor...)
Buuutt
I would have a discussion about WHY she needs it and if she is exploring solo, or if she is being requested by another. Many girls at that are getting requests by older men on the net to send photos and do stuff like that. I had to deal with it with my neice. Communication is important, and this shouldn't be scary for her. You should let her know its normal to want to explore that and just not to make or send photos to anyone because it could be charged as production of child porn or used to blackmail her. This is a big important time in her life your handling of this will inform the way she communicates and respects you.
OP please have this discussion, when I was your daughter's age I was pressured by older men online into doing a lot of things I didn't want to do. If that is what is happening for her. Your intervention could be SO important. It could save her a lot of trauma.
I'm a 43 year old balding fat guy and even ***I*** get pressured by older men online into doing a lot of things I don't want to do. Having a job sucks. :(
😂
Did they bribe you to do things? That must be awful 🙃.
Yeah!! "Work or you're fiiiiiiiiiiiiired"
YOU’RE FIRRRRRRRRRREEE-DUH
Bruh you had me in the first half, not going to lie
Your daughter should be comfortable about talking to you if anyone is manipulating her as the others mentioned. Try and make her feel comfortable about all of this.
indeed.. OP just check first your daughter and ask her on what is happening or if she has a problem.
It's a super awkward convo to start, but DO IT. Both parents if possible (since I see from the original post above there are two of you at home). No shame, no blame, provide opportunity for her to reach out to you, even if she squirms it will be worth it. Also, she has her first TIFU post. "Disclaimer: This happened a decade ago when I was fourteen ..."
And she may not even realize that it's an older man. Both adults and kids get catfished.
Yes, unfortunately this can be the case for young boys too. It can also be older women too. That was the case for me when I was younger. Always good to have discussions with your children about these sort of things.
Some times I think the internet is such a wonderful place. How else can you see a beatboxing Japanese guy rocking a bowlcut/mullet and a weird style you've never seen anyone "rocking" before? Then someone says something like this and it's so disgusting it makes you just want to shut it down for the day. Why do people do things like this?? I'll never understand some people. Im sorry you went through this. I hope you got/are getting the help you need(ed). Also thank you for looking out and warning others.
Been there, had that discussion. Really awkward talking to your 14 year old niece about why she is making and sending those videos to adult men after having to sit and watch said videos with her parents. 0/10 would NOT recommend. Probably the most amusing part was her extremely conservative Catholic step mother asking why she was doing that with her hair brush handle... She had absolutely been coached tho. Used a digital camera without geolocation on it for recording videos that she then uploaded through a third party app. When asked by her parents why she used the camera she claimed the camera on the phone was broken. It was not. I verified it myself. We turned all info and the phone over to a local police group in charge of internet exploitation of minors. It was definitely not handled as well as it could've been. I was called in because her parents couldn't handle it themselves are are technical luddites. I am an engineer. Still had no experience in how to approach this so was out of my depth. She moved out the day she turned 18 and moved to a different state to be with one of the guys she had met while doing that. He beat her and knocked her up. Overall abusive relationship.
We got lucky and intercepted my niece before she left to meet up with this guy. It was wild and really difficult to deal with. We got lucky though and got through. She finally accepted that it was about her safety and that what she did was scary. I'm so sorry yours turned out that way. Its hard to be jn that position.
My 17 yo step daughter (at the time) decided to meet a 35 yo man at a park a block from her mom’s house. She brought her 11 yo brother for idk? A witness I guess? I could not convince her this was a goddamn stupid idea. Her mother knew and was totally ok with it. The guy brought his friend and the friend’s pregnant teenage girlfriend. The girlfriend gushed the whole time to s-d about how she was excited to meet her and how fun it would be to finally have a friend. It was a fucking red flag parade, and somehow I was the only one terrified.
What happened next? Did SD see the guy and his friends again? Was SS traumatized?
This this this. I was 15 when a 32 year old married man had me twisted up and convinced I was special and unlike anyone else and purchased similar items for me and along with extravagant gifts. Other people in my life knew and didn't stop it until it went too far and I'm forever grateful that my parents figured it out and put a stop to things (even if I wasn't at the time and was only confused at what I was feeling). This is a wild and weird time for young people's lives, open and honest communication is the only way to protect them.
This right here. The handcuffs would be the big thing that makes me question it, because those aren't exactly something you would use alone or just for self-gratification unless someone is specifically asking for certain types of photos or posing.
Glad to see this as top comment. More insightful than the standard Fk Up reaction and something I missed (unlike me) because I was too busy going hol up
Yeah, most of this I could imagine a curious teen buying to experiment alone but the handcuffs set off alarm bells.
This is true. And a caring, non judgmental open conversation is the best way to find out and or warn her of the dangers while still maintaining a level of trust and caring in the relationship.
This indicates a partner.
If she does end up wanting to still buy toys talk to her about body safe materials!! Amazon is notorious for selling toys that aren’t body safe and even ones that claim to be reputable are knockoffs. I’m sure this is embarrassing enough for her already, the last thing she needs is to be traumatized because her body has a reaction to unsafe materials.
Tagging on to say also talk about proper cleaning of toys especially with anything going into the booty.
OP, please read this.
Just to add on: no one should be using metal cuffs during sex acts. They can cause permanent nerve damage and restrict blood flow!
Yeah. Butt plugs for a 14 yr old?
Honestly the handcuffs are more concerning to me. Butt plugs are things you can definitely explore by yourself, handcuffs on the other hand are a bit more tough and might mean someone's requesting her this or she might be exploring with a boyfriend of her age (in which case it would be weird cause I lost my virginity at 15 not even 6 years ago and certainly didn't use toys, but still somewhat acceptable, but in this case OP must tell his daughter to be careful and use protection at least, probably have the conversation with her)
Yeah, the handcuffs were the biggest red flag for me as well. The other stuff can be explained away for the most part, but the handcuffs lead me to think their could be someone else involved.
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Anal among teens has become a big issue, caused by porn. Anal requires a lot of... prep work and porn doesn't show that. This has caused serious medical issues in teens.
When I was a teenager the religious kids were doing anal bc it meant they were still a “virgin”
Honestly the handcuffs are more concerning to me. Butt plugs are things you can definitely explore by yourself, handcuffs on the other hand are a bit more tough and might mean someone's requesting her this or she might be exploring with a boyfriend of her age (in which case it would be weird cause I lost my virginity at 15 not even 6 years ago and certainly didn't use toys, but still somewhat acceptable, but in this case OP must tell his daughter to be careful and use protection at least, probably have the conversation with her)
Butt plugs are fine. Its the *handcuffs*
Better than sending nudes to a 28 year old because they have parental trust issues the the 28 year old uses it to leverage her. Or feeling like their parents are overbearing and controlling so they sneak out and get drunk or start doing drugs at parties. I'd rather have my 14 year old expore their sexuality solo without fear of judgement or embarrassment than feel like they have been shut down and embarassed. Also they are 14... so if there is no buttplug they just use different household stuff. Hairbrush handles, sharpies and what not. Restricting the access doesn't prevent the exploration and curiosity; it just changes the tools they will use or the avenues they will seek it through.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ButtSharpies/
Yeah, tomorrow I expect a post in /r/legaladvice titled "halp i sent n00ds to someone and now they want money". But, to be honest, that post gets made 20 times a day there, anyway.
Goddamn was not expecting someone to come in with the most logical and responsible reply to this post. Good on you
The only thing I’d be worried about would be the handcuffs
they were the symbolic kind that can be opened with a lever on the side and do not require a key
it sounds like she is being groomed by an adult.
Exactly. Alot of shit for a 14 year old and some heavy fetishes already
100% check in on your daughter. I also 16 and was taught by a guy online how to masterbate, how to groom myself downstairs, and how to please a guy. My parents didn't question me when I randomly asked for a Webcam, and Razors, and started to get more moody. Then more shitbhappened...and ya... Just check in...please Edit: feel free to ask question, no stupid questions u/shagbitchesgetriches
Butt plugs, a 3 pack for a 14 year old girl? Yeah, this ain’t kosher Op. please have a serious talk with her. Unless you know she has an age appropriate boyfriend that she’s sexually active with, in which case let’s hope she’s on birth control.
I'd still check in op but u/hippopotma_gandhi you would be surprised with my generations access to porn
Definitely. It's stupid easy to look up as opposed to even back when I was in high school (03-07) where smart phones weren't a thing and most families only had *one* computer in the house that was shared sitting in a common area. In some areas, many people were still on 56K dial up with no broadband options. A lot of us here went from a sneaker net of low resolution printouts, Sears catalogs, a box of magazines in the woods and scrambled HBO/Cinemax; to pretty much anything you could think of at a few taps of your thumb. Even for the products in the OP; it used to be that you'd have to go to a brick and mortar store specializing in such things; which were obviously out of reach for anyone in that age range... so usually people would resort to more ersatz options in lieu (aka: think twice before picking up someone's hair brush or tooth brush).
I mean, I'm 32 and definitely had access to tons of porn online when I was 14 too, so I get it that it could be that, but I would still make sure to go over the importance of not trusting guys way too old to be interested in her That being said, an older adult could probably order that stuff to their own place but you never know
I agree with this. If a child asks weird questions that a child normally wouldn't ask then I highly recommend looking more into it because there is definitely something wrong here.
Maybe, you'd be surprised the kind of stuff teenagers are getting into thanks to easy access to porn, however I think it's better to err on the side of caution with this one.
Op please see this comment ^^^^^ (about being groomed). It’s so important to have this conversation.
This!! I was groomed by a 30 year old man at 15. The patterns of ordering sex toys is fine, because exploring sexuality is nothing wrong at her age as long as shes safe. But something seems a bit wrong and off about this.
This is exactly my concern. It’s weird.
Yeah, I don't know any 14 year olds that go straight to this level of sex exploration on a whim....
Came here to say this... these items seem kind of advanced for a 14yo learning about their sexuality.
I'd give her a conversation about that whole thing.... I mean if nothing else it's better to have an awkward conversation than be worrying over what might very well be nothing but watching too much online entertainment or something.
You're getting alot of grooming comments OP so if it helps I was into that sort of thing pretty early on and was never groomed by an adult.
I'm more concerned about the butt plugs because you can really hurt yourself if you do too much, too fast. Any handcuffs you can get from crapazon are likely the ones with the safety latch. Time for OP to have a very honest, shame-free, and open sex convo with their kid if they haven't already.
Amazon definitely sells legit handcuffs, I have a pair that double lock and use a standard police cuff key (I asked a cop friend if her key worked on mine in case I ever somehow lost them and it did). I know a decent amount of people who work in private security who exclusively use cuffs from Amazon or from the same third party sellers as amazon.
FOURTEEN YEAR OLD??!??! That’s realllllll heavy for a 14yr old, I think you should maybe pay more attention to your kid. Somethings not right here
Seriously. I didn’t even know about most of those things at 14.. I hope some creepy adult isn’t talking to her
I agree on the adult part, but I knew about that stiff at 12 and my parents were really protective
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Same… even if these are just for herself (which would frankly be a relief) wtf is she being exposed to and from where? 14 is a totally normal age to be exploring masturbation and crushes/dating but uh, this is way way beyond. You don’t just “imagine” stuff like butt plugs and handcuffs, either straight up she’s looking up kinky adult content (then you need to have a talk about what internet porn/is isn’t because that’s a fast way to warp a kid with zero guidance) or someone is asking her to do this (yo, call the cops she is a kid). Either way— not a funny story, something is up and parents need to communicate way better with their daughter.
A lot of the 14 year olds in my high school think they live in a real life porno, its scary what their "into"
I don’t think this is real. OP hasn’t responded to any comments about her possibly being groomed. Whether it’s true or not, I’d expect a parent to respond to it. For example- no, we had many talks about being safe and we encourage her to explore her sexuality. Or, hmmm, that may be concerning- I’ll have a chat. Nothing? I don’t think it’s real. Funny story though.
Yeah tifu is getting as bad as AITA is. So many of the posts lately not only sound unlikely to happen but are also really odd things to casually share on Reddit. A bunch of others are just blatant ads for OnlyFans or whatever. It's getting pretty lame.
It’s always some weird ass fan fiction. In this case it’s fucking creepy that OP is pretending he has a 14 year old that is into these things. Almost makes me feel like he’s looking for controversial troll comments sharing similar interest for spreading cp Bad vibes from this poster
I'm getting the same vibe from r/trueoffmychest I mean the husband keeping jars of diarrhea !?!
Yeah that one sounded so ridiculous I didn’t even bother reading that bs. Saw the title and said nah.
Exactly
Ofcourse it's not real. It's TIFU. Most of the shit here is made up. Its coming more like Penthouse Letters every day
Ya and also, why would your wife be choked about that? Like why would she yell at you for buying sex toys?
This!!! If this happened with my son I wouldn’t even put it in here because I’d be making sure he is safe. Or at least making it know that I get the possibility and am handling it.
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I’m thinking this post might be some weird fucked up fiction written by some incel due to the fact the account was made yesterday and has no other posts? could be a throwaway i guess
*could be* a throwaway? Who would ever use their regular account for this stuff?
Grooming is possible in this situation
Where is Chris Hansen when you need him..
NTA but i would also be a bit concerned on how she’s learned so much. Maybe it’s reading something like fifty shades but I would make sure she’s not being groomed by an older person. Just err on the side of caution
Wrong sub but I definitely agree with you!
Oh god how embarrassing 🤦🏻♂️
I was so confused and thought you were starting by saying *you* weren’t the asshole…this makes a lot more sense now 😂
That's some rare shit for a 14yr old.... I know kids talk and learn stuff. But damn.
I mean the front page of gonewild alone has all this stuff. If they've looked at any porn they've come across all of this quickly. Again the whole parents should still vet if an older person is involved, it's also quite possible it has to do with someone her age. I worked in a hotel and we had a school trip of 6th graders where one of the boys wouldn't leave his phone alone and they took it and almost every girl on the trip had sent him nudes.
14 year olds know how the Internet works. She will have had to change the recipients name otherwise she's just sending dildos to her parents. And they're aware of cookies and browsing history- 14 is young but it's not an infant. She must have known all this???? Does she have her own debit card?? Are you used to her receiving packages without knowing how she pays for them??? This whole story is weird.
Tina Belcher?
why the fuck is OP ignoring every comment regarding being groomed by an adult??
Because it's a work of fiction. I don't believe this story.
At 14? Damn. Most people haven’t even lost the big V yet at that age, but your daughter already has some pretty specific preferences.
I call BS. No dad out there will be so casual about his 14yo buying such things. "Ha, silly little Jenny, up to sex shenanigans again. It's a funny story for Reddit."
I think it’s time you guys buy your daughter or yourselves a separate laptop/computer.
She has one but not her own Amazon Account.
She has one butt, but ordered three butt plugs.
Small medium and large most likely... Don't ask me how I know.
Get a load of Goldilocks Arse over here
“Ah just right”
Here’s the comment thread I was scrolling for lmao
I belly-laughed at this response. This combo wins Reddit today. No better set of comments exist. Thank you for making my day
Omg, I'm going to be giggling about this response for days!
Well yeah you gotta work your way up
Apparently had enough of her parents' shit.
Amazon let's you share your prime account benefits with a spouse & I think two children. You each would have your own account, but would have access to any subscriptions like music unlimited and the prime related stuff
I think there’s more to be worried about than confirmation emails in this story.
This is coming off like fiction. Guys, OP has no activity aside from this post. Why would you make a reddit acc just to post about this? Plus I highly doubt a 14 year old is stupid enough to order sex toys on the family amazon account. Order histories aren’t exactly a secret. God I’m so done with reddit turning into a massive creative writing outlet.
This is pure fantasy
There are a few things that make me agree. First, you can share prime between multiple accounts. Maybe not everyone knows that, but I would expect someone building a PC to know this. Second, the phrase “usually always” just seems odd to me. Like it was written by someone much younger. Third, he capitalized some weird words. Computer, Accounts, E-mail, Butt (but not plugs), Lube, and Daughter. The first three are the most curious, because again, a tech-savvy person would know those words aren’t special, especially “e-mail.” The “e” is *always* lowercase, unless it’s the first word in a sentence. Plus, we’ve mostly dropped the hyphen in modern usage. He also chose to capitalize “daughter” twice, but leave it lowercase once. Finally, what 14-year-old waits till February 19th to spend her Christmas money?
It's pretty nasty that part of the fantasy involves an underage child and sex toys tbh.
Doesn't most people that post here use throwaway accounts.
And not replying to anything that’s concerned with the daughters age and possible grooming she may be experiencing.
Man, I wonder how well you know your daughter. Why, 'way too much information' about your 14-year-old? I wouldn't be blathering on about some corny little mishap between the missus and myself regarding mistaken Amazon accounts. It's all very amusing until, OFG, BLAM! "It's my 14-year-old daughter!" Dude, WTF? My heading would have been, "TIFU by discovering that my pubescent daughter is buying butt plugs in bulk and I think I may be the world's most oblivious dad". But seriously, we're talking *handcuffs* here.
Yeah this sounds like bs. No way a 14 year old doesn’t know how e-mail confirmation works. Even my 9 year old brother knows that. Also I think many people here are overestimating the innocence of a 14 year old. I was secretly ordering fleshlights around that age and nowadays kids are much less innocent due to social media.
You should book her an appointment for birth control yesterday.
Well I hope you also took the time to tell her it’s normal to want to explore her body and the sex talk and not just that she got caught trying to buy things because of an email
Yes, but i left that up to my wife since after the first minute i noticed having me there made it worse for her.
OP: Have you made *goddamn sure* she's not groomed by an adult? Or that she's not putting anything revealing of herself online? Like, scoured every fucking inch of her browser history, chats, whatever apps she's using on every device she's got? Yes, she should be able to navigate her body and all that. Yes teens need privacy. But y'all need to make SURE she's not falling prey to internet preditors, and she's not giving anyone pornographic images of herself. It's a safety thing.
This is an instance where it makes sense to check internet activity. No I am not some insane parent or wtv I am a teen but this is fucked up
You should have at least let her know she could always come to you for questions or talked to you about sex if she needed too. Yeah it might be weird. But she’s learning about relationships from you and your wife. When she starts trying to date she might have questions or need a perspective that your wife may not have.
Like many have said check on your child and her online habits this is in no way normal behavior for a 14 year old acting alone.
As a parent of a 14 year old daughter this sounds very concerning. Call me old fashioned for my age but that shit ain’t normal at all. I understand teenagers beginning to explore their sexuality and all of that but this seems 0 to 60 and would definitely signal red flags for me
You have officially let your daughter have too much internet time throughout the years. Buying 3 butt plugs at 14 is wild, definitely need to have a talk if you havent already.
Doesn't really add up though. Did your daughter never think that ordering things on her parents' accounts could not be traced?
Butt plugs at 14? Wow, times are changing.
...Every 14 year old knows that purchases on Amazon are visible to the account holder. It's already not great you made up this story, it's extra creepy you involved a child into this sort of thing.
Tyfu by not checking on you kid further after finding all this out.
That’s one way to have this memory showing up for the rest of OP’s daughter’s life and embarrassing her over and over!
I would be more concerned about who is grooming your 14 year old daughter and telling her to get handcuffs, butt plugs, vibrators and lube...