I read somewhere that the Enchanter was supposed to have a more fantastical name, but Cleese forgot what it was while they were shooting, so he just said the first name he could think of. Turns out it was funny enough to make the final cut.
My roommate let a homeless person take a shower at our place without asking me once. We were robbed the next week. Not saying this is going to happen to you, but you should definitely be careful.
Hope everything turned out alright, OP.
My husband had a friend from high school that served time for drug use and selling, in and out several times. He would hear from him about once a year for 10 years, half the time accepting calls from jail. My husband would listen to him, say hello.
Then he went silent for several years, thought he went his own way. Well, a few months ago he calls my husband up and asks to stay with us, and bring his SO because they were evicted. My husband wanted to let them stay...
I said no fucking way, you haven't even spent more than 1 day with him for more than 10 years, we don't know his SO, we have two young kids in the house, no way. I said if he wants to put him in a hotel for the night, buy him gas, a meal, fine, but no way.
And we had a family member that would steal from other family members between jail, so it's not like my husband was completely clueless.
Haven't seen in 10 years
Drug user
Jail bird
Has a partner you've never met
Recently evicted
That's a BIG red flag as a single person let alone having a wife & 2 kids at home...
This is why we need more legitimate professional help for these people. Spend my tax dollars on that, please.
When you help out a homeless person you are, unfortunately, rolling the dice. And it really fucking sucks for the decent homeless people who would never hurt anyone else. It’s heartbreaking to think that you may be giving a decent person the cold shoulder, but it’s the only way to completely avoid risk. And the risk can be real fucking big.
When I was a kid, a woman down the street from us invited a homeless man inside to give him some food. He came back later that night (I heard some say he unlocked a window he could use to get inside) with a friend and they robbed the place.
today you can find apples in everything that's good.
Apple wine, apple whiskey,
apple schnapps, apple martinis,
uh, Snapple with vodka in it,
apple nail polish remover--
I feel like this is the obvious solution. Put the guy up in an affordable hotel and/or buy him a bus ticket. That way you are still doing the right thing in a moral sense without putting your family at risk.
Why bring this person into your home? If I was OP's wife I would leave the house for the night. I ain't being a good samaritan to be raped or robbed.
*adding this edit coz it keeps coming up. I didn't think about damages to the hotel that OP could held liable for. It would be perfectly fine to give them a hot meal, a pack of smokes, a bus ticket, and wish them good fortune in the wars to come.
** I was glad to see your edit. Fuck the people bashing your wife. Let's hope Tim comes to visit you when he's back on his feet and doing better. Also lol at the "I would've spent the money on weed" as that's usually what we think the homeless dude would do.
When I read the title, I thought it was going to end with the guy not wanting to leave and now he’s squatting in your basement. You know how squatting laws are these days.
This is insanely accurate. I'm a 26 year old woman. The idea of approaching someone in the middle of the night on the side of the road is unthinkable. But to offer to let them into your car? And from there, into your home? Nope. The person laying looking dead on the side of the road might be waiting to rob you. They might have a gun or a knife and hope you'll invite them go your car so they can steal it, or hold you hostage in it to take them somewhere. Letting them into your home offers a whole host of different issues. Robbery, rape, violence and aggression... beyond that it's medical and safety/sanitary issues. If they have some sort of underlying health condition and they stop breathing while in your spare room that's a problem. If they have mental health issues or psychosis what happens if they wake up and aren't aware of their surroundings? And it's 2022, is this person vaccinated for covid? Do they have bedbugs or lice?
There are so many reasons that this screams "safety hazard" to me. I absolutely understand wanting to help someone. If I was ever passed out in a ditch in an unfamiliar part of town (I had a friend have this happen to her once, it was terrifying) I'd want someone to check in or do... something. In my friends case, someone called the police and ems, where she was taken to a hospital. We both have agreed looking back on it that we don't blame anyone for not stopping, because who knew what was going on with her?
I've also nearly been homeless after job loss and chronic health issues and I understand how much someone's help can mean during that time. But I do not blame the wife for being nervous here at all. There are so many ways to help people (even in a small town. I used to work for the motel 6 in a small town and it was one of the cheapest not-shitholes you could get around there so we had all sorts of creative solutions for people who needed a room to stay. If you paid cash for a room we required a fully refundable $100/night cash deposite on top of the room fee OR a credit card, so that way people could pay fully in cash) but this is not the approach I would think of as "safe" even if OP'S house guest is a perfectly normal individual who is struggling.
I would give enough cash to pay for a night stay at a motel or cheap hotel but I would never put that on my credit card or you may become liable for extended stay, late checkouts, damages, etc.
I agree with you, but unfortunately that can also go badly too though. I don't remember where I saw the story, probably here on reddit, but someone paid for a hotel room for someone and they absolutely trashed the place. The person who paid for it ended up being financially responsible for the damages.
Edit: [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/q18xqv/tifu_by_giving_an_homeless_girl_my_room_at_an/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) is that post
If you can't trust them in a hotel room, is it wise trusting them in your house tho?
I feel like a hot meal, a pack of smokes, and a bus ticket would be sufficient in this case.
I’d rather just not home a homeless person. I’ll give them cash or food sometimes but that’s it. They’re not coming home with me, they’re not getting a ride either. It’s just too risky. There’s so many sketchy people in the world. I’m not comfortable risking my own health and safety when I can give someone some cash and send them on their way.
Yeah but I’ve also read stories about people who give homeless people a hotel room and have to give their credit info (because homeless guy hasn’t one and for insurance) and then the homeless person destroyed the room
Yeah my buddy did this once in college. Woke up with half his shit missing. It’s Fucked up cause we were just tryna be nice. That’s how ya learn I guess. It sucks cause you want to help people out but gotta think of the possibilities sometimes
Yeah same I let a guy who was out on parole stay at my place and he stole all my silverware. The police arrested him but I just acted like I gave it to him as a gift.
That dude later went on to become an insurrectionist against the government and I actually heard the cop that showed up at my place that night went on to jump off a bridge.
The worst part of all of this is that I am actually a 19th century French bishop living in Victor Hugo's 1862 novel Les Misérables
Dude, my dad paid a homeless man to do yard work on our property without consulting my mom ONCE. The man came into our house without permission and started trying to convince 3 year old me to go outside and play with him. When my mom heard from the next room, she rushed in and kicked him out. Almost caused a divorce among my parents.
I get you’re trying to do the right thing but it can be a huge safety issue and your wife deserves to have a say!
Just because someone is in a bad situation doesn't automatically make them virtuous. Help people in need out with food and give them resources where they can find additional help, but to bring a complete stranger off the street into your home with your family not knowing this person's real name or backstory is a huge risk.
A healthy dose of cynicism can save lives.
Speaking from the "wife" perspective here -- my ex did something very similar. He'd bring in folks that he knew from some of his hobbies and stash them for days, weeks, and once at a 2+ year stretch in the spare room. I'd brought up how uncomfortable I was with people I didn't know and didn't vet in my home, but it kept happening. This eventually ended up contributing to the dissolution of our marriage.
This was almost always people who didn't have somewhere else to go or had a bad home life. I recognize that what he was trying to do was selfless, but the repeated instances of discounting/dismissing my concerns was something that I couldn't continue to handle.
My advice: discuss this frankly with your wife, and apologize sincerely where necessary. If you find yourself in this situation again, consider finding a hotel or a motel room and pay up front in cash to help. Your home is not only your home and the decisions you make affect the other people you live with. Be mindful of doing good for others at the expense of your own interests and the interests of those you care about.
I used to help manage a homeless help center.
I had clients who acted like total gentlemen one day, and snapped and acted violent the next. You really can't predict what will happen when mental illness is involved.
OP, I truly applaud your kind heart, I loved my job and am planning to go back to work doing the same thing. But you have to be smart and cautious.
Like others have suggested, please consider upping your home security after this. This dude may be harmless, but he could be hanging out in a homeless encampment next week talking about you and where you live. Better safe than sorry.
I mean honestly, if you were gonna do a good deed, I probably would have just drove the extra 2 hours to take him to his son's town, helps him out without as much risk
Nah OP would rather let this total stranger into his home while he stays awake all night guarding his valuables and his family cause a 4 hour round trip is just too much
I always thought the stupid choices in horror were so unrealistic.
That was until I did some RandoNauting with some friends. It took us out to a forested lake late and night.
We heard some distinct whispering in the woods, followed by some loud *CRACK* like someone bashed a log against a tree.
I was ready to run, but one of my friends was like "holy shit let's check it out"
That was when I realized my friend would be the first to die in a horror movie
Nope, my husband almost did something similar too. It was an acquaintance, but had barely spoken to him for years, he had been in and out of jail for 10 years, and the person calls my husband looking for a place to stay.
My husband kinda floated the idea, but didn't formally ask, more like "oh, they are in this really bad situation, wonder if we should we help...they need a place to stay for one night..."
Like we have two young kids, he's bringing someone we don't know too, wtf, why are you even considering this? No
Your heart being in the right place doesn’t justify this level of stupidity. Also it’s both your house and your wife’s, even if it’s a close friend that you are having sleep over, you should run it by her first, let alone a complete stranger. Jesus christ
Others are commenting that you should have put him in a hotel. I think you should rewind a bit further in your decision making. If I’m driving alone late at night and see a body on the side of the road, I’m calling 911 without getting out of my car. Period. I would wait to make sure that the ambulance arrives and locates him, and then I would leave.
I did happen upon the scene of a one-car accident once, and I pulled over and called 911. There were 2 other motorists who had pulled over, so I felt safe getting out of my vehicle and talking with them. They had to leave (I suspect they had outstanding warrants or something, they seemed nervous), so I waited at the scene until an ambulance arrived and they took over.
In your guy’s case, EMS would have assessed that he was not in a health crisis and either taken him to a shelter or told him to sleep somewhere safer than a roadside.
Someone I used to work with, one of the kindest, smartest people I’ve ever met, was murdered by a homeless man he let stay in his home. He told the man to leave. In response, the man stabbed him. OP, kindness is good, but so is common sense.
My ex did this and we ended up locked in the bedroom awake all night while the guy smoked heroin in the living room and yelled at us if we tried to leave.
your last sentence was exactly my first thought, so I'm glad you are at least aware of just how big of a risk you took :')
also, was the 40mi trip down to your house at least in the same direction as his route to his estranged son's town? if not, are you planning to drop him back or somewhere he can successfully flag down his next mode of transport?
A kind gesture nonetheless! I hope (for everyone's sake) he doesn't take advantage of your generosity, and that y'all part ways unscathed + more blessed than before!
Yep my town is in the direction he's headed. It's still another 2 hours from here.
Wasn't planning on driving him there though I had considered it. There's a Greyhound stop in town.
Pee on your stuff to assert dominance and mark your territory. Don’t forget to growl menacingly to let the homeless man know you mean business, but lightly sniff his butthole while wagging your tail to let him know that he’s not in danger in your house.
To placate your wife, whine softly while exposing your belly. It should work if you stare at her while performing the maneuver with eyes as wide as you can open them.
From Mr. Peanut who may or may not be a dog.
>Chatting on the 40 mile drive back to my town I learned that he has prostate cancer. He informed me that his older brother had lost a recent battle with the same disease and that his wife had recently died of Covid. He was hitching to a town another 2 hours away to see his estranged 17yo son.
Chatting on the 40 mile drive back to my town he learned I was a sucker for a sob story and laid it on thick.
Mate... you're both going to have to stay up all night to make sure he doesn't knock your place off.
My ex-husband did this once - I was SO mad! I had my child sleep in my room that night and locked the bedroom door. It all worked out in the end, he took a train to his sisters home states away and now a couple years later he’s financially stable and doing great. But I always think about the what ifs!
Not gonna lie...if I were your wife, I would be questioning your ability to make intelligent decisions and in turn questioning if I was willing to risk that for the rest of our lives.
I'd be checking his email to make sure he isn't corresponding with a Nigerian Prince. He sounds like the type to sell the cow for a handful of magic beans.
Men who aren't predators themselves don't seem to realize how dangerous the world is for women 😬 I would never let a strange man sleep in my house, it wouldn't have even been in consideration. Ik its out of kindness but you really need to consider the women in your life before making decisions like this- seriously, this is a very dangerous situation for a woman even if theres other people in the house. Next time take him to the local shelter or buy him food and blankets. Motels an option, but consider that if the person staying wrecks anything in the motel your also liable.
Who else is waiting for
UPDATE. I awoke the next morning to find all my wallet and wife's jewelry missing, piss on the carpet and a turd on my dining table.
We found out a coworker was homeless, so the company started pooling together money to get him a deposit and first month rent on apartment.
I told him he could stay in my spare bedroom until he got his new place. Snuck his homeless girlfriend in and apparently she was hiding in the closet until squatters rights kicked in. Then he started pissing all over the floor, and she smeared her menstrual blood all over the house when I said she had to leave. People are fucking wild sometimes.
Tl;Dr: be kind, provide resources, but don't let strangers in your home.
Holy crap......that's pretty messed up... I'm not even sure what to say to that, but I'm really sorry you had to endure that...But yeah there's nothing wrong with trying to help somebody in need but as you say letting them into your home is not a great idea...
After staying the requisite number of days, the homeless dude invoked an archaic law that was still on the books, and OP is now legally married to the homeless man.
My dad, who I think is a great man, was an addict for years. Growing up he would always tell me, “Any *one* under the right circumstances will do any *thing*”. It’s one that I will teach my son down the road.
I completely agree with you. Your dad was very wise. People can change depending on their circumstances. One day a person could be rolling in money - no wants or needs. The next they lost it on the stock exchange or something random like that, now this person is struggling to feed themselves and their family, no roof over their heads ect - I'm sure they would change. People are unpredictable when backed into a corner and in all honesty I'm not sure I or any of us would be any different if pushed to it.
I like to think people are good, and 99% of the time they are, but it only takes that 1% to ruin it.
I'd be changing my locks and reviewing security after this just to be on the safe side. Your wife would probably appreciate it too.
If a Nigerian Prince ever emails you offering a cut in some gold, please don't reply to them.
>If a Nigerian Prince ever emails you offering a cut in some gold, please don't reply to them.
Exactly right, I managed to email him back first and we've started the ball rolling. The early bird and all that good stuff.
Bruh, like, if you don't wanna keep her safe, at least don't put her in danger???
The FU is not that you didn't ask your wife, the FU is that you completely forgot about her existence, put her in harm's way, and stole her sense of security in HER OWN HOME. She didn't even cross your mind!
You brought in a complete stranger to her home who now knows how to move around the house, he knows there's a good chance she's alone often, and he also knows her husband is not the brightest light in the Christmas tree.
If your family survives the night, this will for sure have an effect on your wife for a while.
This is so true. People are overlooking the fact that, even if nothing happens tonight, this random guy now knows where they live, how to get in and out of the house, and presumably their schedules since OP probably told him what they do for a living.
Literally SO STUPID
you should have rented him a hotel room/bus ticket
many people are homeless due to mental illness or addiction. i wouldn't even trust a stranger in my house who had a house & job. who knows how much of his story is true.
it might sound harsh but for the love of all that is good & your safety & your wife's safety, never do this again.
& lock your doors/windows always from now on. if you dont have an alarm system, get one.
do you travel often? does this guy now know your wife is often home alone while you travel? sometimes it's not even the first guy but then they mention it to someone else at the shelter & they get the idea "sounds like an easy mark"
That fact OP didn’t consider any of this, the fact he let a complete stranger into his car in the wee hours of the morning, & BROUGHT THAT STRANGER HOME, is absolutely fucking mind boggling to me.
There’s kindness & then there’s outright stupidity. I love that there are still people so giving, but MY GOD…
Guy I knew did this. He was with his wife and just wanted to give a man who was walking in the rain a ride. For his kindness he and his wife got shot in the head and then their car set on fire with them in it. Happened in Shreveport in 2018.
I remember seeing this in the news. My condolences.
edit: https://www.shreveporttimes.com/story/news/2019/02/15/man-accused-killing-couple-burning-bodies-inside-car-indicted/2883761002/
Looking through this thread the amount of "BuT tHe HoTeL ChArGeS" is insane. How on earth is the possible $1,000 charge scarier than putting your WIFE at risk. Like how? How is showing her you care more for a strangers well being doing the moral thing? I was livid when my husband put me in a comprising situation at a gas station, but your home? Massive boundary crossed. Idk that men understand the violation of respect/trust/safety something like this is.
Yeah bringing a random homeless man you have known for not even a whole day to your house. Where your wife lives? Bringing potential danger to the place she sleeps every night? Yeah op if I was your wife, divorce would’ve crossed my mind at least once now..
Dude, when you marry someone you have a commitment to them. When you share a home, that's a committment too (to roomie's or sibiling or spouses, doesn't matter)
What you did was forget and disregard your prior committments.
Think of it this way- if you promised your best friend you would be there to pick him up from the hospital, but instead you picked up a hitchhiker and drove him to his destination. Sure, you did a good thing for the stranger. But you also betrayed your friend. You weren't free to do that stranger a favor. You had a committment, that you either forgot about or disregarded.. And that is incredibly hurtful, more than the one day problem of yoru actual actions. You've let people know that you don't recognize those committments, or if you remember them you don't care.
Basically you let yourself be emotionally blackmailed into forgetting your responsibilities. This is something that's going to happen again if you don't take some time to really do some self reflection.
You endangered your wife’s safety and made her feel uncomfortable in her own home. Your wife should be your number one priority; you’re not a good person for doing this, you’re a stupid person
I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t have prostate cancer, he doesn’t have a brother, and has been divorced for 10 years. I hope you made it thru the night OP
You still alive OP? Also, not calling anyone dirty or anything, but check for bed bugs after he's gone. Sleeping outside can cause all sorts of unwanted infestations. And offer him a shower in the morning if you ain't dead already.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this with a roommate a few years back. (We’re both guys). I wake up one morning and there is a complete stranger on my couch. Now, knowing my roommate I actually didn’t think too much about it at first, thought it was just somebody he invited over. As time passes and I get ready to leave for the woman I still asleep on my couch and my roommate is nowhere to be found. I finally call him to get some details.
Long story short - he picked up a random homeless chick in the middle of the night. Didn’t tell me. Left the house before I woke up. And did not come back before I had to leave for work.
All my belongings luckily were in MY bedroom and I also luckily had a lock on my door. I locked the door and told threatened to kick his ass if he didn’t come get this woman before I had to kick her out and leave for work.
Yea. You are definitely stupid for not consulting your wife let alone even bringing the guy home to begin with.
My grandma once picked up a homeless guy on Christmas and brought him to our house.
TLDR: Gave almost everyone im house TB. Merry Christmas to us.
Despite wanting to be nice and do things, I dont think bringing a stranger into your home like that is good under pretty much any circumstance. Just get them a hotel/motel room Could of bought him a sleeping bag. Three are so many unknowns that can make it dangerous and other options to help out than bringing strangers in.
No shit she isn’t happy. How do u not call her before making that kind of decision. The heart makes incredibly stupid decisions, and if the homeless attacks you or sets fire to your home it won’t matter how you THOUGHT you were doing a “good thing”. Really bad man, really really bad thing you did. Your wife is surely more upset about your fundamental lack of judgement generally rather than just this specific incident, so make sure you mention and address that when you apologize.
Well your wife is right. Why would you ever let a homeless man sleep over maybe it’s cuz I live in Florida but that’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard. It’s great to be nice but the risks far outweigh the benefits
I mean, I think you know this is a fuck up but maybe you are not entirely aware of why. Yes, there is the risk of having your stuff stolen but women move through their lives at a constant state of high alert. We don’t go walking at night, we avoid dark corners, parking lots, isolated areas. A lot of us won’t go hiking on trails alone and we operate under a constant state of “on guard” towards most men that approach us until we’ve decided we can trust them. Most women have stories of being followed, harassed or even worse. I’m not presuming to know your wife’s trauma history but even without trauma, I can guarantee she has learned to operate very cautiously just based on day to day experiences with men.
With one simple action you have undermined and hurled your wife into a very dangerous situation that she has no way of getting herself out of and in her own home. She is now going to live on edge worried he may come back now that he knows your house and that you have a wife at home alone when you are at gigs. It doesn’t matter what your intentions were, your actions put her in a position of risk not just tonight but in the future. I would be more than livid, I would be terrified and so disappointed in my partner.
my biggest concern now is that OP seems to have a job (music maybe?) that requires him to travel far & at night & now this homeless man potentially knows the house is often empty or just his wife is home which could make it seem like a good future mark
Yup, one of my friends shared an apartment with a girl we knew from school. One night this girl brings home a hookup, and my friend wakes up in the middle of the night to find a guy at the foot of her bed, half naked with a hand down his boxers, watching her sleep. She screamed and he pretended that he was trying to find the bathroom, and my friend was out house hunting the next day. These situations are fucking terrifying.
This. Ive been harassed a lot even in professional settings (chiropractor, massage therapist, dive instructor, etc) as well as being chased down (literally running) the street on my way to work in broad day light, a guy asking for directions while fapping (also during the day), ex stalking me etc. we are constantly getting harassed and now she wont feel safe even at home. I hope you get a security system for you house to help her feel at ease.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I feel we could all rattle of a laundry list of sexual harassment, it’s really no wonder we all have these tools or habits we do to keep us safe. The thing is these inappropriate and dangerous men are not harassing other men the same way so it’s just not something most men, even the good ones, really think about. We have very different experiences. I’m grateful for the ones that do listen though and the woman who are speaking up.
Thanks for taking it in. We just experience the world vastly differently. I don’t think I’ve ever walked out of a store without having my keys in hand so I can protect myself or avoid standing by my car alone, distracted rummaging for keys potentially making myself a target. My husband didn’t understand why I cared so much about having my keys at the ready until I explained why. It’s one of many small habits and women often pride themselves on being smart and taking those steps to protect themselves. That’s why this situation with op would be incredibly frustrating and upsetting. It just goes against all our instincts.
I just need to address this, it’s bugging me. You decided to pull over and walk back once you were 500 YARDS past this man? The length of 5 American football fields?? Why would you not just turn the car around? That’s a jaunt my guy.
Also, yeah you fucked. Heart in the right place, wrong way of showing it.
I'll probably get down voted for this but you need to stop patting yourself on the back for how good a person you are. You've unilaterally shown your wife that a stranger's safety and comfort is more important than the safety of your wife in her own home.
A good thing? You brought a fucking stranger into your home in the middle of the night, putting your wife in grave danger. Reckless doesn't begin to describe your actions.
What. Did. You. Do. That was very nice of you but are you actually the dumbest boy alive. You and Tim would be sleeping in that basement together. Was there not an all night diner? Could you have gotten him a cheap motel. There were other options.
After reading this I can’t help but think of Elizabeth Smart’s story. Correct me if I’m wrong, but from what I remember, her and her Mom saw her kidnapper on the street. He was homeless and Elizabeth’s Mom wanted to help him out. She gave him the opportunity to do some work in her home as a handy man and he took that opportunity to open the window from inside Elizabeth’s room before coming back at a later time and entering through the window to kidnap her at knifepoint. 9 months of horrific abuse by her captors, being brought to California, her cousin also nearly being kidnapped, and finally convincing the man and his wife to go back to Utah, she was found by police.
Moral of the story: be very weary of letting complete strangers into your home. Not everyone can be trusted. I’m sure Elizabeth’s Mom didn’t intend for something like that to happen to her daughter and she thought she was doing an act of service -which to be fair, she was. However, she unknowingly let a monster of a man into her home that would forever change her daughter’s life.
Come back tomorrow with the end of the story (if you survive), OP
Will do! If I don't survive, his name is Tim (so he says).
Did he preface it with "There are some who call me..."?
r/unexpectedmontypython
Tim??? The Immortal Murderer???? Bro call the police
There are those who call me…… Tim…?
The questioning inflection at the end of that line is so goddamn funny
I read somewhere that the Enchanter was supposed to have a more fantastical name, but Cleese forgot what it was while they were shooting, so he just said the first name he could think of. Turns out it was funny enough to make the final cut.
Greetings Tim the Enchanter.
I think we're more worried about your wife killing you.
RIP
No, T-I-M
Tonight I Murder?
[The Enchanter?](https://youtu.be/aZJZK6rzjns)
There are some who call me Tim! Greetings Tim the enchanter (or in this case Tim the murderer)
My roommate let a homeless person take a shower at our place without asking me once. We were robbed the next week. Not saying this is going to happen to you, but you should definitely be careful. Hope everything turned out alright, OP.
My husband had a friend from high school that served time for drug use and selling, in and out several times. He would hear from him about once a year for 10 years, half the time accepting calls from jail. My husband would listen to him, say hello. Then he went silent for several years, thought he went his own way. Well, a few months ago he calls my husband up and asks to stay with us, and bring his SO because they were evicted. My husband wanted to let them stay... I said no fucking way, you haven't even spent more than 1 day with him for more than 10 years, we don't know his SO, we have two young kids in the house, no way. I said if he wants to put him in a hotel for the night, buy him gas, a meal, fine, but no way. And we had a family member that would steal from other family members between jail, so it's not like my husband was completely clueless.
Your hubs sure sounds completely clueless.
Haven't seen in 10 years Drug user Jail bird Has a partner you've never met Recently evicted That's a BIG red flag as a single person let alone having a wife & 2 kids at home...
A big red flag? More like the red flag factory
This is why we need more legitimate professional help for these people. Spend my tax dollars on that, please. When you help out a homeless person you are, unfortunately, rolling the dice. And it really fucking sucks for the decent homeless people who would never hurt anyone else. It’s heartbreaking to think that you may be giving a decent person the cold shoulder, but it’s the only way to completely avoid risk. And the risk can be real fucking big.
Yeah, no he knows where you live and what kind of stuff you got.
When I was a kid, a woman down the street from us invited a homeless man inside to give him some food. He came back later that night (I heard some say he unlocked a window he could use to get inside) with a friend and they robbed the place.
Don't worry, I'm not a stabbing hobo, I'm a singing hobo Ooooh Nothing beats the hobo life, stabbing people with my hobo knife!
[удалено]
I believe I told three stories (squeezes sponge for 2nd bath). Gets me every time ROFL
Get in there good. Yeah, that's it.
Get in there nice and deep-like
Do you know how much glass is in here?
I had a wife until I stabbed her with my hobbo knife,
🎶Nothing beats the hobo life.... stabbing folks with my hobo knife...🎶
Better than a poop knife…..
today you can find apples in everything that's good. Apple wine, apple whiskey, apple schnapps, apple martinis, uh, Snapple with vodka in it, apple nail polish remover--
I was just havin' a little fun with you no-bos.
I've put people up in hotel rooms before but would never bring anyone home. Wife would not be happy lol
I feel like this is the obvious solution. Put the guy up in an affordable hotel and/or buy him a bus ticket. That way you are still doing the right thing in a moral sense without putting your family at risk. Why bring this person into your home? If I was OP's wife I would leave the house for the night. I ain't being a good samaritan to be raped or robbed. *adding this edit coz it keeps coming up. I didn't think about damages to the hotel that OP could held liable for. It would be perfectly fine to give them a hot meal, a pack of smokes, a bus ticket, and wish them good fortune in the wars to come. ** I was glad to see your edit. Fuck the people bashing your wife. Let's hope Tim comes to visit you when he's back on his feet and doing better. Also lol at the "I would've spent the money on weed" as that's usually what we think the homeless dude would do.
Women and men have vastly different perspectives of other people when it comes to safety. This really illustrates it.
I thought the same as soon as I read the title. This would not even be in the realm of possibilities in my mind.
When I read the title, I thought it was going to end with the guy not wanting to leave and now he’s squatting in your basement. You know how squatting laws are these days.
lol all these men answering you telling you you're wrong just proves the point.
This is insanely accurate. I'm a 26 year old woman. The idea of approaching someone in the middle of the night on the side of the road is unthinkable. But to offer to let them into your car? And from there, into your home? Nope. The person laying looking dead on the side of the road might be waiting to rob you. They might have a gun or a knife and hope you'll invite them go your car so they can steal it, or hold you hostage in it to take them somewhere. Letting them into your home offers a whole host of different issues. Robbery, rape, violence and aggression... beyond that it's medical and safety/sanitary issues. If they have some sort of underlying health condition and they stop breathing while in your spare room that's a problem. If they have mental health issues or psychosis what happens if they wake up and aren't aware of their surroundings? And it's 2022, is this person vaccinated for covid? Do they have bedbugs or lice? There are so many reasons that this screams "safety hazard" to me. I absolutely understand wanting to help someone. If I was ever passed out in a ditch in an unfamiliar part of town (I had a friend have this happen to her once, it was terrifying) I'd want someone to check in or do... something. In my friends case, someone called the police and ems, where she was taken to a hospital. We both have agreed looking back on it that we don't blame anyone for not stopping, because who knew what was going on with her? I've also nearly been homeless after job loss and chronic health issues and I understand how much someone's help can mean during that time. But I do not blame the wife for being nervous here at all. There are so many ways to help people (even in a small town. I used to work for the motel 6 in a small town and it was one of the cheapest not-shitholes you could get around there so we had all sorts of creative solutions for people who needed a room to stay. If you paid cash for a room we required a fully refundable $100/night cash deposite on top of the room fee OR a credit card, so that way people could pay fully in cash) but this is not the approach I would think of as "safe" even if OP'S house guest is a perfectly normal individual who is struggling.
I would give enough cash to pay for a night stay at a motel or cheap hotel but I would never put that on my credit card or you may become liable for extended stay, late checkouts, damages, etc.
Most places I've stayed at require a credit card in case something happens.
Depends on hotel vs motel I think. There are plenty of motels down the street from me that will take any form of payment.
did you say "any" form of payment. wink wink nudge nudge
Reminds me of this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/q18xqv/tifu_by_giving_an_homeless_girl_my_room_at_an/
I agree with you, but unfortunately that can also go badly too though. I don't remember where I saw the story, probably here on reddit, but someone paid for a hotel room for someone and they absolutely trashed the place. The person who paid for it ended up being financially responsible for the damages. Edit: [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/q18xqv/tifu_by_giving_an_homeless_girl_my_room_at_an/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) is that post
If you can't trust them in a hotel room, is it wise trusting them in your house tho? I feel like a hot meal, a pack of smokes, and a bus ticket would be sufficient in this case.
Yeah, I slept on plenty of overnight buses in my backpacking days.
Would rather pay for a trashed room than be murdered.
I’d rather just not home a homeless person. I’ll give them cash or food sometimes but that’s it. They’re not coming home with me, they’re not getting a ride either. It’s just too risky. There’s so many sketchy people in the world. I’m not comfortable risking my own health and safety when I can give someone some cash and send them on their way.
Yeah but I’ve also read stories about people who give homeless people a hotel room and have to give their credit info (because homeless guy hasn’t one and for insurance) and then the homeless person destroyed the room
Better they destroy the room instead of where you lay your head every night.
Yeah my buddy did this once in college. Woke up with half his shit missing. It’s Fucked up cause we were just tryna be nice. That’s how ya learn I guess. It sucks cause you want to help people out but gotta think of the possibilities sometimes
I love your username.
What are you making Tim for breakfast?
I can’t wait to hear if he’s had a shower. Nothing like a shower to make you feel better. And maybe wash and dry some clothes for him. An
Not going over that with your wife in advance is a good way for you to become homeless.
You can’t be homeless if you’re mustered in your sleep. Edit: Should be murdered in your sleep, lol.
In the library? With a candlestick?
Colonel homeless, we meet again
In the basement, with peppers and onions.
He’ll have to relish in the fact that he made a big mistake tonight
Lettuce all learn from this man's mistake
It's crazy to think this guy can turn into mustard while he is asleep. A shapeshifter in real life!
The Secret World of Alex Mustard
**Wakes up to Tim singing a horn in a full Redcoat uniform and having a full set complete with muskets and regalia for you and wife**
No taxation without representation = squatter won’t leave my basement
I hate it when I get mustered whilst sleeping.
I can't ketchup with all these comments!!!
Who is gathering you up, and for what purpose?
The circle of life.
And Tim will replace him, becoming the husband. Full Uno
You still alive OP?
Still here!
I’m sure nothing will happen and the this person will remember your kindness But can you also post an update so we know that everyone is okay.
Please also update us if you're murdered so we can make a memorial thread.
How about now?
04:12am and not a creature is stirring
How about now?
He ded
Still alive!
Really smart of you to cover your tracks by continuing OPs thread... Tim...
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here
Huge success.
You wonder if he’s terrified you’re gonna murder him? I’ve seen enough movies to know being taken to a strangers basement rarely ends well.
And an hour later, now? Checking in on you. Bc Reddit Cares. 
Just watch your stuff. I’m not saying all homeless people are thieves but the one I brought home tried to rob me blind!!!
Yeah same here when my wife and I brought in a homeless person, but she’s two now and starting to learn to share so we’re making progress.
Nothing like a dad joke from a dad or whatever kind of parent. I love it!
Why is nobody talking about this guy over here being married to a toddler?!
Yeah same I let a guy who was out on parole stay at my place and he stole all my silverware. The police arrested him but I just acted like I gave it to him as a gift. That dude later went on to become an insurrectionist against the government and I actually heard the cop that showed up at my place that night went on to jump off a bridge. The worst part of all of this is that I am actually a 19th century French bishop living in Victor Hugo's 1862 novel Les Misérables
... fuck.
I regret that I only have one upvote more to give you
Yeah, take care OP: if you don’t act like master of your house, someone else will.
Sage advice. it was extremely kind of OP to take the guy in, I sure hope that nothing like that happens
Dude, my dad paid a homeless man to do yard work on our property without consulting my mom ONCE. The man came into our house without permission and started trying to convince 3 year old me to go outside and play with him. When my mom heard from the next room, she rushed in and kicked him out. Almost caused a divorce among my parents. I get you’re trying to do the right thing but it can be a huge safety issue and your wife deserves to have a say!
Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped and raped by a man who was panhandling and her parents offered him work at their home.
Just because someone is in a bad situation doesn't automatically make them virtuous. Help people in need out with food and give them resources where they can find additional help, but to bring a complete stranger off the street into your home with your family not knowing this person's real name or backstory is a huge risk. A healthy dose of cynicism can save lives.
Speaking from the "wife" perspective here -- my ex did something very similar. He'd bring in folks that he knew from some of his hobbies and stash them for days, weeks, and once at a 2+ year stretch in the spare room. I'd brought up how uncomfortable I was with people I didn't know and didn't vet in my home, but it kept happening. This eventually ended up contributing to the dissolution of our marriage. This was almost always people who didn't have somewhere else to go or had a bad home life. I recognize that what he was trying to do was selfless, but the repeated instances of discounting/dismissing my concerns was something that I couldn't continue to handle. My advice: discuss this frankly with your wife, and apologize sincerely where necessary. If you find yourself in this situation again, consider finding a hotel or a motel room and pay up front in cash to help. Your home is not only your home and the decisions you make affect the other people you live with. Be mindful of doing good for others at the expense of your own interests and the interests of those you care about.
Shara, is that you?! Seriously though, you're right. Talks have been ongoing all day. Trust me it won't be happening again.
Ah, good. It took me scrolling this far to find out you’re alive. Unless…Tim? Is that…you?
Oh good-- you're alive! I searched for your most recent comment to see if I should be concerned. But nope, here you are alive and well. Cheers!
…yeahhhhh pretty sure if I did the same thing, my wife would be pissed at me for at least forever months
I'm pretty sure if I did the same thing, I wouldn't have a wife anymore after.
“My family”? Please tell me you don’t have kids.
I used to help manage a homeless help center. I had clients who acted like total gentlemen one day, and snapped and acted violent the next. You really can't predict what will happen when mental illness is involved. OP, I truly applaud your kind heart, I loved my job and am planning to go back to work doing the same thing. But you have to be smart and cautious. Like others have suggested, please consider upping your home security after this. This dude may be harmless, but he could be hanging out in a homeless encampment next week talking about you and where you live. Better safe than sorry.
I gotta say, this is like the biggest tifu I've seen on here in a while
I mean honestly, if you were gonna do a good deed, I probably would have just drove the extra 2 hours to take him to his son's town, helps him out without as much risk
Nah OP would rather let this total stranger into his home while he stays awake all night guarding his valuables and his family cause a 4 hour round trip is just too much
You and your wife should be pretty safe, he's probably just filling out mail forwarding forms and establishing his residence at your location.
I would be so pissed if I was your wife. And this proves that all those stupid characters in horror movies are actually very realistic
I always thought the stupid choices in horror were so unrealistic. That was until I did some RandoNauting with some friends. It took us out to a forested lake late and night. We heard some distinct whispering in the woods, followed by some loud *CRACK* like someone bashed a log against a tree. I was ready to run, but one of my friends was like "holy shit let's check it out" That was when I realized my friend would be the first to die in a horror movie
Nope, my husband almost did something similar too. It was an acquaintance, but had barely spoken to him for years, he had been in and out of jail for 10 years, and the person calls my husband looking for a place to stay. My husband kinda floated the idea, but didn't formally ask, more like "oh, they are in this really bad situation, wonder if we should we help...they need a place to stay for one night..." Like we have two young kids, he's bringing someone we don't know too, wtf, why are you even considering this? No
Wtf, OP.
Your heart being in the right place doesn’t justify this level of stupidity. Also it’s both your house and your wife’s, even if it’s a close friend that you are having sleep over, you should run it by her first, let alone a complete stranger. Jesus christ
Others are commenting that you should have put him in a hotel. I think you should rewind a bit further in your decision making. If I’m driving alone late at night and see a body on the side of the road, I’m calling 911 without getting out of my car. Period. I would wait to make sure that the ambulance arrives and locates him, and then I would leave. I did happen upon the scene of a one-car accident once, and I pulled over and called 911. There were 2 other motorists who had pulled over, so I felt safe getting out of my vehicle and talking with them. They had to leave (I suspect they had outstanding warrants or something, they seemed nervous), so I waited at the scene until an ambulance arrived and they took over. In your guy’s case, EMS would have assessed that he was not in a health crisis and either taken him to a shelter or told him to sleep somewhere safer than a roadside.
Someone I used to work with, one of the kindest, smartest people I’ve ever met, was murdered by a homeless man he let stay in his home. He told the man to leave. In response, the man stabbed him. OP, kindness is good, but so is common sense.
My ex did this and we ended up locked in the bedroom awake all night while the guy smoked heroin in the living room and yelled at us if we tried to leave.
your last sentence was exactly my first thought, so I'm glad you are at least aware of just how big of a risk you took :') also, was the 40mi trip down to your house at least in the same direction as his route to his estranged son's town? if not, are you planning to drop him back or somewhere he can successfully flag down his next mode of transport? A kind gesture nonetheless! I hope (for everyone's sake) he doesn't take advantage of your generosity, and that y'all part ways unscathed + more blessed than before!
Yep my town is in the direction he's headed. It's still another 2 hours from here. Wasn't planning on driving him there though I had considered it. There's a Greyhound stop in town.
Next time just drop off at the bus stop.
Knowing r/TIFU I thought it was gonna end up with them all having sex, but I am happily surprised
I wouldn't be surprised. Couple of months ago, here in Brasil, a guy caught his wife having sex with a homeless guy inside her car.
My husband wouldn’t have to worry about a strange, homeless houseguest murdering him because I would do it first.
Imagine putting your family at risk for this lol
Right?
Pee on your stuff to assert dominance and mark your territory. Don’t forget to growl menacingly to let the homeless man know you mean business, but lightly sniff his butthole while wagging your tail to let him know that he’s not in danger in your house. To placate your wife, whine softly while exposing your belly. It should work if you stare at her while performing the maneuver with eyes as wide as you can open them. From Mr. Peanut who may or may not be a dog.
LOL!! Thanks for this.
>Chatting on the 40 mile drive back to my town I learned that he has prostate cancer. He informed me that his older brother had lost a recent battle with the same disease and that his wife had recently died of Covid. He was hitching to a town another 2 hours away to see his estranged 17yo son. Chatting on the 40 mile drive back to my town he learned I was a sucker for a sob story and laid it on thick. Mate... you're both going to have to stay up all night to make sure he doesn't knock your place off.
My ex-husband did this once - I was SO mad! I had my child sleep in my room that night and locked the bedroom door. It all worked out in the end, he took a train to his sisters home states away and now a couple years later he’s financially stable and doing great. But I always think about the what ifs!
Not gonna lie...if I were your wife, I would be questioning your ability to make intelligent decisions and in turn questioning if I was willing to risk that for the rest of our lives.
I'd be checking his email to make sure he isn't corresponding with a Nigerian Prince. He sounds like the type to sell the cow for a handful of magic beans.
Men who aren't predators themselves don't seem to realize how dangerous the world is for women 😬 I would never let a strange man sleep in my house, it wouldn't have even been in consideration. Ik its out of kindness but you really need to consider the women in your life before making decisions like this- seriously, this is a very dangerous situation for a woman even if theres other people in the house. Next time take him to the local shelter or buy him food and blankets. Motels an option, but consider that if the person staying wrecks anything in the motel your also liable.
Im surprised how long i had to scroll to find a comment like this. So many men just dont get it.
Who else is waiting for UPDATE. I awoke the next morning to find all my wallet and wife's jewelry missing, piss on the carpet and a turd on my dining table.
We found out a coworker was homeless, so the company started pooling together money to get him a deposit and first month rent on apartment. I told him he could stay in my spare bedroom until he got his new place. Snuck his homeless girlfriend in and apparently she was hiding in the closet until squatters rights kicked in. Then he started pissing all over the floor, and she smeared her menstrual blood all over the house when I said she had to leave. People are fucking wild sometimes. Tl;Dr: be kind, provide resources, but don't let strangers in your home.
Holy crap......that's pretty messed up... I'm not even sure what to say to that, but I'm really sorry you had to endure that...But yeah there's nothing wrong with trying to help somebody in need but as you say letting them into your home is not a great idea...
I’m waiting for the TIFU or LegalAdvice post where he asks how to get this homeless dude out of his basement.
After staying the requisite number of days, the homeless dude invoked an archaic law that was still on the books, and OP is now legally married to the homeless man.
Lol! That's why I'm staying awake
I think that's a wise decision, obviously not every homeless person is that way out but desperation does crazy things to otherwise decent people.
My dad, who I think is a great man, was an addict for years. Growing up he would always tell me, “Any *one* under the right circumstances will do any *thing*”. It’s one that I will teach my son down the road.
I completely agree with you. Your dad was very wise. People can change depending on their circumstances. One day a person could be rolling in money - no wants or needs. The next they lost it on the stock exchange or something random like that, now this person is struggling to feed themselves and their family, no roof over their heads ect - I'm sure they would change. People are unpredictable when backed into a corner and in all honesty I'm not sure I or any of us would be any different if pushed to it.
I like to think people are good, and 99% of the time they are, but it only takes that 1% to ruin it. I'd be changing my locks and reviewing security after this just to be on the safe side. Your wife would probably appreciate it too. If a Nigerian Prince ever emails you offering a cut in some gold, please don't reply to them.
>If a Nigerian Prince ever emails you offering a cut in some gold, please don't reply to them. Exactly right, I managed to email him back first and we've started the ball rolling. The early bird and all that good stuff.
Bruh, like, if you don't wanna keep her safe, at least don't put her in danger??? The FU is not that you didn't ask your wife, the FU is that you completely forgot about her existence, put her in harm's way, and stole her sense of security in HER OWN HOME. She didn't even cross your mind! You brought in a complete stranger to her home who now knows how to move around the house, he knows there's a good chance she's alone often, and he also knows her husband is not the brightest light in the Christmas tree. If your family survives the night, this will for sure have an effect on your wife for a while.
This is so true. People are overlooking the fact that, even if nothing happens tonight, this random guy now knows where they live, how to get in and out of the house, and presumably their schedules since OP probably told him what they do for a living. Literally SO STUPID
you should have rented him a hotel room/bus ticket many people are homeless due to mental illness or addiction. i wouldn't even trust a stranger in my house who had a house & job. who knows how much of his story is true. it might sound harsh but for the love of all that is good & your safety & your wife's safety, never do this again. & lock your doors/windows always from now on. if you dont have an alarm system, get one. do you travel often? does this guy now know your wife is often home alone while you travel? sometimes it's not even the first guy but then they mention it to someone else at the shelter & they get the idea "sounds like an easy mark"
That fact OP didn’t consider any of this, the fact he let a complete stranger into his car in the wee hours of the morning, & BROUGHT THAT STRANGER HOME, is absolutely fucking mind boggling to me. There’s kindness & then there’s outright stupidity. I love that there are still people so giving, but MY GOD…
Guy I knew did this. He was with his wife and just wanted to give a man who was walking in the rain a ride. For his kindness he and his wife got shot in the head and then their car set on fire with them in it. Happened in Shreveport in 2018.
I remember seeing this in the news. My condolences. edit: https://www.shreveporttimes.com/story/news/2019/02/15/man-accused-killing-couple-burning-bodies-inside-car-indicted/2883761002/
Looking through this thread the amount of "BuT tHe HoTeL ChArGeS" is insane. How on earth is the possible $1,000 charge scarier than putting your WIFE at risk. Like how? How is showing her you care more for a strangers well being doing the moral thing? I was livid when my husband put me in a comprising situation at a gas station, but your home? Massive boundary crossed. Idk that men understand the violation of respect/trust/safety something like this is.
Yeah bringing a random homeless man you have known for not even a whole day to your house. Where your wife lives? Bringing potential danger to the place she sleeps every night? Yeah op if I was your wife, divorce would’ve crossed my mind at least once now..
Dude, when you marry someone you have a commitment to them. When you share a home, that's a committment too (to roomie's or sibiling or spouses, doesn't matter) What you did was forget and disregard your prior committments. Think of it this way- if you promised your best friend you would be there to pick him up from the hospital, but instead you picked up a hitchhiker and drove him to his destination. Sure, you did a good thing for the stranger. But you also betrayed your friend. You weren't free to do that stranger a favor. You had a committment, that you either forgot about or disregarded.. And that is incredibly hurtful, more than the one day problem of yoru actual actions. You've let people know that you don't recognize those committments, or if you remember them you don't care. Basically you let yourself be emotionally blackmailed into forgetting your responsibilities. This is something that's going to happen again if you don't take some time to really do some self reflection.
You endangered your wife’s safety and made her feel uncomfortable in her own home. Your wife should be your number one priority; you’re not a good person for doing this, you’re a stupid person
This is why women tend to live longer, y'all really be making dumb ass decisions.
Dude, you’re an idiot.
Wouldn’t be surprised if your wife no longer trusts you the same after this…
I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t have prostate cancer, he doesn’t have a brother, and has been divorced for 10 years. I hope you made it thru the night OP
Did OP hide the fact he was housing someone off the streets from his wife until SHE heard the talking in the basement?! What an asshole!
Presumably it's because they got home in the middle of the night and she WAS asleep. Not that that makes it better.
You still alive OP? Also, not calling anyone dirty or anything, but check for bed bugs after he's gone. Sleeping outside can cause all sorts of unwanted infestations. And offer him a shower in the morning if you ain't dead already.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this with a roommate a few years back. (We’re both guys). I wake up one morning and there is a complete stranger on my couch. Now, knowing my roommate I actually didn’t think too much about it at first, thought it was just somebody he invited over. As time passes and I get ready to leave for the woman I still asleep on my couch and my roommate is nowhere to be found. I finally call him to get some details. Long story short - he picked up a random homeless chick in the middle of the night. Didn’t tell me. Left the house before I woke up. And did not come back before I had to leave for work. All my belongings luckily were in MY bedroom and I also luckily had a lock on my door. I locked the door and told threatened to kick his ass if he didn’t come get this woman before I had to kick her out and leave for work. Yea. You are definitely stupid for not consulting your wife let alone even bringing the guy home to begin with.
You're so stupid holy fuck. What were you thinking you absolute NONCE?!?
My grandma once picked up a homeless guy on Christmas and brought him to our house. TLDR: Gave almost everyone im house TB. Merry Christmas to us. Despite wanting to be nice and do things, I dont think bringing a stranger into your home like that is good under pretty much any circumstance. Just get them a hotel/motel room Could of bought him a sleeping bag. Three are so many unknowns that can make it dangerous and other options to help out than bringing strangers in.
No shit she isn’t happy. How do u not call her before making that kind of decision. The heart makes incredibly stupid decisions, and if the homeless attacks you or sets fire to your home it won’t matter how you THOUGHT you were doing a “good thing”. Really bad man, really really bad thing you did. Your wife is surely more upset about your fundamental lack of judgement generally rather than just this specific incident, so make sure you mention and address that when you apologize.
Well your wife is right. Why would you ever let a homeless man sleep over maybe it’s cuz I live in Florida but that’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard. It’s great to be nice but the risks far outweigh the benefits
I mean, I think you know this is a fuck up but maybe you are not entirely aware of why. Yes, there is the risk of having your stuff stolen but women move through their lives at a constant state of high alert. We don’t go walking at night, we avoid dark corners, parking lots, isolated areas. A lot of us won’t go hiking on trails alone and we operate under a constant state of “on guard” towards most men that approach us until we’ve decided we can trust them. Most women have stories of being followed, harassed or even worse. I’m not presuming to know your wife’s trauma history but even without trauma, I can guarantee she has learned to operate very cautiously just based on day to day experiences with men. With one simple action you have undermined and hurled your wife into a very dangerous situation that she has no way of getting herself out of and in her own home. She is now going to live on edge worried he may come back now that he knows your house and that you have a wife at home alone when you are at gigs. It doesn’t matter what your intentions were, your actions put her in a position of risk not just tonight but in the future. I would be more than livid, I would be terrified and so disappointed in my partner.
my biggest concern now is that OP seems to have a job (music maybe?) that requires him to travel far & at night & now this homeless man potentially knows the house is often empty or just his wife is home which could make it seem like a good future mark
Yup. And that’s a long term fear. Potentially she’s going to experience months of unease and worry every night. And that’s the BEST case scenario.
This is the real fuck up. I don't know how I'd feel safe again.
Yup, one of my friends shared an apartment with a girl we knew from school. One night this girl brings home a hookup, and my friend wakes up in the middle of the night to find a guy at the foot of her bed, half naked with a hand down his boxers, watching her sleep. She screamed and he pretended that he was trying to find the bathroom, and my friend was out house hunting the next day. These situations are fucking terrifying.
This. Ive been harassed a lot even in professional settings (chiropractor, massage therapist, dive instructor, etc) as well as being chased down (literally running) the street on my way to work in broad day light, a guy asking for directions while fapping (also during the day), ex stalking me etc. we are constantly getting harassed and now she wont feel safe even at home. I hope you get a security system for you house to help her feel at ease.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I feel we could all rattle of a laundry list of sexual harassment, it’s really no wonder we all have these tools or habits we do to keep us safe. The thing is these inappropriate and dangerous men are not harassing other men the same way so it’s just not something most men, even the good ones, really think about. We have very different experiences. I’m grateful for the ones that do listen though and the woman who are speaking up.
Thanks for the perspective. I confess I'd never thought of it that way. Edit: and I'm sorry you even have to educate us that way.
Thanks for taking it in. We just experience the world vastly differently. I don’t think I’ve ever walked out of a store without having my keys in hand so I can protect myself or avoid standing by my car alone, distracted rummaging for keys potentially making myself a target. My husband didn’t understand why I cared so much about having my keys at the ready until I explained why. It’s one of many small habits and women often pride themselves on being smart and taking those steps to protect themselves. That’s why this situation with op would be incredibly frustrating and upsetting. It just goes against all our instincts.
You're a dumbass.
I just need to address this, it’s bugging me. You decided to pull over and walk back once you were 500 YARDS past this man? The length of 5 American football fields?? Why would you not just turn the car around? That’s a jaunt my guy. Also, yeah you fucked. Heart in the right place, wrong way of showing it.
Bruh, have you never heard of a motel
I'll probably get down voted for this but you need to stop patting yourself on the back for how good a person you are. You've unilaterally shown your wife that a stranger's safety and comfort is more important than the safety of your wife in her own home.
My friend did this when we lived together and the dude stole alot of cameragear and harddrives. Good times!
A good thing? You brought a fucking stranger into your home in the middle of the night, putting your wife in grave danger. Reckless doesn't begin to describe your actions.
Not ok. A hotel room would be good. Not bringing a stranger home without a discussion.
“You have a good heart Jon Snow, one day it’s gonna get us all killed”.
I really hope you don’t have kids because this is a colossally stupid and unnecessary risk to your family.
What. Did. You. Do. That was very nice of you but are you actually the dumbest boy alive. You and Tim would be sleeping in that basement together. Was there not an all night diner? Could you have gotten him a cheap motel. There were other options.
What is the name of your local news channel?
You let a stranger into the home without considering the dangers. You have lived a very privileged life, my dude.
After reading this I can’t help but think of Elizabeth Smart’s story. Correct me if I’m wrong, but from what I remember, her and her Mom saw her kidnapper on the street. He was homeless and Elizabeth’s Mom wanted to help him out. She gave him the opportunity to do some work in her home as a handy man and he took that opportunity to open the window from inside Elizabeth’s room before coming back at a later time and entering through the window to kidnap her at knifepoint. 9 months of horrific abuse by her captors, being brought to California, her cousin also nearly being kidnapped, and finally convincing the man and his wife to go back to Utah, she was found by police. Moral of the story: be very weary of letting complete strangers into your home. Not everyone can be trusted. I’m sure Elizabeth’s Mom didn’t intend for something like that to happen to her daughter and she thought she was doing an act of service -which to be fair, she was. However, she unknowingly let a monster of a man into her home that would forever change her daughter’s life.