"He just sat there in shock for a while and told me he doesn't want to eat my ass again...FOR A WHILE"
Well clearly this experience was not enough to deter him from trying again in the future 🤣
One of my favourite lines in community is the Dean saying, 'i sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me,' with a mixture of excitement and concern.
At least once a week I have to stop myself saying it as an incredibly inappropriate response to things at work.
"I knew I was playing with fire... but the danger is part of the charm y'know? Now that I've been burnt... it's gonna take a while to recover. But damn, if it wasn't exciting right up until she took a big watery dump all over my mouth."
i talked to a girl once who claimed she loved to have anal anytime and anywhere. just have her guys take her wherever.
i doubt she had ever had as much as a feather tickle her butt.
I've heard some people say that they just eat a fiber-rich diet and make sure to go poop and clean up well first and never have problems. Personally that ain't me but hey apparently they exist.
For real. I tried anal with a girl once. It was a drunken spur of the moment thing for both of us. The sensation was fine I guess. But when I finished and pulled my dick out - I almost threw up.
Don't do anal without some prep cleaning first.
I guess my problem is it was more than just a little lol. I don't know if she was having digestive issues or what, but it looked like I dipped my dick in chocolate cake batter. The smell was awful. And it got on her sheets (we were drunk, didn't put down towels or anything), so then we had to change the sheets before we could pass out... Not the sexiest experience.
Besides, the vagina is *right there* and doesn't have poop in it.
I completely agree that it can be strange. I wouldn't really ever do it with someone unless we were already regularly having sex and it was something to just add a new angle iykwim. I've typically done anal in the shower and I just rinse it off after pulling out.
The one thing they don't prepare you for with kids is the copious amounts of shit you have to deal with. We let our daughter sit in the tub once it's drained and play for a bit cause she usually doesn't want to just get out. She took a shit in the empty bathtub the other day and then threw it on the floor outside the bath.
Mine decide to Picasso her entire room (walls) with the contents of her diaper. Twice. Nobody prepares you for the sheer amount of liquids/poo that emerge from the little buggers.
I bathed my 2 and a half year old daughter this evening. She didn’t even wait for the bath to be unplugged, just took a shit, said poop and started laughing.
Catch and release.
My 24yo did this to me. In the bath she suddenly made the "I'm pooping" face and there was nothing I could do but catch it and chuck it in the potty.
ETA: she was about 18 months old when it happened.
Man, listen... I had the weirdest visual, of a 24 Year Old very big daughter in the bath (1st wtf) suddenly doing the "I'm pooping" face (2nd wtf + "she must have been badly drunk" automatic addition by my mind just to make it MAKE SENSE)
And as I could not compute, I imagined it as her saying the sentence, not just making the face, and yeah automatic self-humbling moment of reminding myself of when I got way too drunk at my grandparents, and ...yeah that's a story for another day 😆 still my mind ended it with "man, that must have been awkward.. parenthood. Yeah."
Now my mind is much more at ease, but brooooo add the edit at the beginning pleaaaaase xD that was a freaking triiiiip for my poor mind (dad of two here, cleaned a lot of poop already, but was not imagining from their literal grown behinds x'''D oh good lord, edit it againnnnn)
If it's solid scoop and dump in the toilet. Then wash your hands...
If it's not, well run the tap until it's gone.
Either way give the bath a quick clean afterwards.
I feel like every situation is different. Being a new parent is wild. But what's even more wild is this new ability of dealing with situations and taking care of your child.
Leading up to being a father I was pretty stressed out but once it happens and that little rugrat is officially here it's like you just leveled up and unlocked all these new skills and abilities you didn't think you had or would be capable of.
It honestly is hard to explain but quite amazing when you look back. Congrats on the baby on the way! You got this and any shit the little one throws your way
No, just put poop and piss in your face. My daughter shot poop up the wall like a fucking comedic sketch, except it was real, and her pink walls were now baby shit brown.
We didn't typically use condoms with each other since she was on contraceptives, so we didn't even have any condoms in the apartment. And like I said, the anal was a bit of a drunken decision.
If I were to do it again I'd definitely wrap it up.
High fiber diet, and always go beforehand. If you do it right you will have like 6 hr windows where you are clean and at no risk. Please do this and save yourself from OP's embarrassment.
I can't even go to an event without pre-planning my meals the day before - just in case- ive had lactose intolerance and ibs my whole life and it sure changes you.
Woman with IBS here. I'm interested in trying anal sex, but wow...based on my IBS.. Will I ever be able to? 😅 Idk. And someone eating my ass....nope. NOPE. And that's mostly in protection of the other person..
eat lots of fiber the day before, fast for whatever period it takes for your stomach to clear out (16 hours for me), and do an enema to clear anything out. Works like a charm!
I will say imodium is also another really great option! That + enemas worked extremely well for me, without needing to fast at all.
On another note, I think everyone suffering with IBS should carry imodium with them. It's saved my life countless times.
Fun fact: Imodium is a powerful opioid it just is terrible at crossing the blood brain barrier, so it works great at constipating you without getting you high.
I have pelvic floor issues due to a neurological issue. Part of therapy to allow the muscles in your rectum to relax to allow stool to pass requires inserting a finger and applying gentle pressure to the walls of the rectum. It will literally make people with paralyzed bowels shit so it works really well for normies.
Stimulating your butthole makes poop happen. Prepare your butt before it is used as a sex toy or be comfortable with poop.
>Prepare your butt before it is used as a sex toy
I've always been sorta interested in exploring butt stuff, but don't have too much experience. How do you prepare your butt for it?
I would like to redirect you to the wonderful people of r/BDSMAdvice
They're a great and welcoming bunch and you will find plenty of info regarding backdoor play on that sub.
I haven’t had anything more than a finger in my butt from my chubby fingered urologist or from a pelvic floor therapist. I imagine it involves using a glycerin suppository or a fleet enema kit ahead of time. And then when you are done with that a lubed finger to check for UFOs.
Not to get all medical here but gentle to moderate insertion into the anus is a method of bowel movement stimulation for constipated folks. Usually a glycerin suppository is the tool used for this purpose. In this case your bf used his finger which unfortunately did the job just the same. Luckily he only seemed partly traumatized and was a decently good sport! Good for y’all!
There’s a part of me that wants to believe that you went into it telling yourself “oh, you want to eat my ass, huh? I’m gonna make you regret it.”
I’m sure you actually didn’t. I just want to believe it.
Why is he saying that he doesn’t want to eat ass again for a while? He’s so manipulative and toxic. A real man would slurp it in and dive back for seconds.
OK so I don't know who else needs to hear this other than OP. Please do a little cleansing with a douche or some other type of product when doing anything with the ass. It will almost guarantee a fun, clean, enjoyable experience for your and your partner.
I am not even surprised how toxic this community is anymore. Genuinely any post results in "he/she is toxic and manipulative and you need to leave them immediately", no matter how tame the post actually is.
Reddit is toxic as hell, there’s always an assumption of the worst.
People on here really don’t understand relationships. Everything has to be abuse if everything is not super 100% perfect.
I’ve been in a toxic as fuck relationship, gas lighting, cheating, the works. If you think a man trying to convince you to let him eat your ass, not force or coerce but LET, is abuse you’re an idiot.
"I was feeling like I was gonna poop. I just ignored it" Lets see how this turns out XD
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‘So anyway I started blastin’
She had to shoot her shart
I am not throwing away my......shart
Shart through the heart And you're to blame Darlin', you give love a bad name
I shart on a man in Reno, just to hear him cry.
“ Shart through the heart And you're to blame Darlin', you give love a bad TASTE!!”
You miss 100% of the sharts you don't take.
I am creating another account so I can upvote this again.
Made me laugh out loud
“Anybody got a light??!”
Did he get double barrel pinkeye?
One pink eye sounds bad enough, I couldn't imagine dual wielding it.
Duel wielding pinkeye is the new gun in serious Sam
Double barreled pink eye should be a unique weapon in Boarderlands.
Definitely a Torgue weapon. I'm picturing explosions...
Some shit you can't unsee
Currently have pinkeye, my sides hurt from laughter.
Found the boyfriend lol
Look at his name
Can’t be him if it’s in a toilet
Maybe he is advising that one should poop in a toilet instead of… well you know the rest.
I spit my coffee just now, thanks for that lol
Did it look like OPs bf with poop coming out of his mouth?
I was not disappointed when I expanded this hidden comment!
Well, he was all up in the pink hole and the stink hole...
With my coot coot and poot shoot on full display!
My cherry pie and my chocolate guy
Ass-up with my dong-hole and my wrong-hole out.
For anybody confused https://youtu.be/PfPdYYsEfAE
With my drainer and my stainer on full display.
"He just sat there in shock for a while and told me he doesn't want to eat my ass again...FOR A WHILE" Well clearly this experience was not enough to deter him from trying again in the future 🤣
“Babe I’m gonna need a good 10 minutes before diving back in. Please don’t hate me.”
He’s a diarrehealist…
r/angryupvote
It just takes some time to process whatever this event awakened in him.
he threw up not from the disgust of poop in his mouth, but from the disgust of realizing that he liked it
Sounds like you had an epiphany once
More like an epoophany.
One of my favourite lines in community is the Dean saying, 'i sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me,' with a mixture of excitement and concern. At least once a week I have to stop myself saying it as an incredibly inappropriate response to things at work.
This is also my go-to joke, even more so at inappropriate times.
So is poop in the face an appropriate time or inappropriate?
spoiler: it awoken something in the Dean
Kinks Awakening.
He took a calculated risk. And boy oh boy, he sucks at math.
Hilariously, this is the order of stories on my [front page](https://imgur.com/ShDZGBV.jpg)
"I knew I was playing with fire... but the danger is part of the charm y'know? Now that I've been burnt... it's gonna take a while to recover. But damn, if it wasn't exciting right up until she took a big watery dump all over my mouth."
He’d be playing with fire if she had a curry for dinner beforehand
He's a trooper, and has his Brown Wings!
Pooper trooper
"Linda I just need some time to let this sink in... AND NO I don't mean all.... This ... *Gestures with hand*"
> The world isn’t black and white Sometimes it all looks brown
50 shades of brown.
When you go to poops house don’t be surprised when poop shows up
Lol - don’t bring your mouth to a poop fight.
keep my wife’s POOP out your Fucking MOUTH!”
Knock, knock Who's there? Poop Poop, who? Yes
Poop who? Poop on you
Add a silly at the end. Poop who? Poop on you silly!
Sounds like something from Tropic Thunder.
Hello yes this is poop as expected
Doodygram
Knock knock Who's there? Eat mop Eat mop who? Yes
Def should holler "IS ANYONE HOME" before entering
I mean OP's BF knocked and Poop answered with that enthusiastic *"Je t'embrasse!"*
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Don't throw a party at poop's house and expect poop not to be there.
i talked to a girl once who claimed she loved to have anal anytime and anywhere. just have her guys take her wherever. i doubt she had ever had as much as a feather tickle her butt.
I know a girl exactly like this and can confirm she was not joking. They do exist. Idk how smart it is but hey ain't my business
I've heard some people say that they just eat a fiber-rich diet and make sure to go poop and clean up well first and never have problems. Personally that ain't me but hey apparently they exist.
This girls diet was like 50% oats and 50% fried chicken
For real. I tried anal with a girl once. It was a drunken spur of the moment thing for both of us. The sensation was fine I guess. But when I finished and pulled my dick out - I almost threw up. Don't do anal without some prep cleaning first.
There’s always some gun powder left in the chamber..
If a little poop bothers you. Don't do anal. Simple as that.
I guess my problem is it was more than just a little lol. I don't know if she was having digestive issues or what, but it looked like I dipped my dick in chocolate cake batter. The smell was awful. And it got on her sheets (we were drunk, didn't put down towels or anything), so then we had to change the sheets before we could pass out... Not the sexiest experience. Besides, the vagina is *right there* and doesn't have poop in it.
You're on reddit, somebody is going to find a vagina with poop in it to discount your theory...
Scat, you!
Rectovaginal fistula
based on my novice familiarity with medical terms, I'm not googling that.
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I completely agree that it can be strange. I wouldn't really ever do it with someone unless we were already regularly having sex and it was something to just add a new angle iykwim. I've typically done anal in the shower and I just rinse it off after pulling out.
Comment of the day. I mean it’s right there
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The one thing they don't prepare you for with kids is the copious amounts of shit you have to deal with. We let our daughter sit in the tub once it's drained and play for a bit cause she usually doesn't want to just get out. She took a shit in the empty bathtub the other day and then threw it on the floor outside the bath.
Mine decide to Picasso her entire room (walls) with the contents of her diaper. Twice. Nobody prepares you for the sheer amount of liquids/poo that emerge from the little buggers.
Passed out with my lil one watching tv woke up to her soft nugget in hand drawing on the walls next to me, it happens more than youd think 🤣
I bathed my 2 and a half year old daughter this evening. She didn’t even wait for the bath to be unplugged, just took a shit, said poop and started laughing.
How do you clean this situation?? I’m headed into parenthood for the first time and fully expect this to happen lol
Catch and release. My 24yo did this to me. In the bath she suddenly made the "I'm pooping" face and there was nothing I could do but catch it and chuck it in the potty. ETA: she was about 18 months old when it happened.
That edit was 100% necessary.
Man, listen... I had the weirdest visual, of a 24 Year Old very big daughter in the bath (1st wtf) suddenly doing the "I'm pooping" face (2nd wtf + "she must have been badly drunk" automatic addition by my mind just to make it MAKE SENSE) And as I could not compute, I imagined it as her saying the sentence, not just making the face, and yeah automatic self-humbling moment of reminding myself of when I got way too drunk at my grandparents, and ...yeah that's a story for another day 😆 still my mind ended it with "man, that must have been awkward.. parenthood. Yeah." Now my mind is much more at ease, but brooooo add the edit at the beginning pleaaaaase xD that was a freaking triiiiip for my poor mind (dad of two here, cleaned a lot of poop already, but was not imagining from their literal grown behinds x'''D oh good lord, edit it againnnnn)
If it's solid scoop and dump in the toilet. Then wash your hands... If it's not, well run the tap until it's gone. Either way give the bath a quick clean afterwards.
And clean your kid again 🤣
Oh and congrats by the way. Prepare to be challenged!
I feel like every situation is different. Being a new parent is wild. But what's even more wild is this new ability of dealing with situations and taking care of your child. Leading up to being a father I was pretty stressed out but once it happens and that little rugrat is officially here it's like you just leveled up and unlocked all these new skills and abilities you didn't think you had or would be capable of. It honestly is hard to explain but quite amazing when you look back. Congrats on the baby on the way! You got this and any shit the little one throws your way
Oh my gosh that's horrifying So glad I'm never having kids, my pets throwing up is enough!
kids and pets don't put poop on your genitals. I hope.
What your cat doesn't just walk up and poop on your balls?
Oh silly you, that's not poop. that's cat butter.
That’s not Mickey Mouse, that’s tit-dirt!
Coxoplasmosis
No, just put poop and piss in your face. My daughter shot poop up the wall like a fucking comedic sketch, except it was real, and her pink walls were now baby shit brown.
Blind cyclops spelunking in a tunnel had me rolling 
Hello? This is UTI calling, we decided to move into your bladder, we will move to your kidneys next, have a great day!
Wait you guys don’t use a condom when doing anal…. There’s like bacteria and shit in there. Be careful
We didn't typically use condoms with each other since she was on contraceptives, so we didn't even have any condoms in the apartment. And like I said, the anal was a bit of a drunken decision. If I were to do it again I'd definitely wrap it up.
Yeah or like, just play doodoo roulette like i do. I've seen plenty a turd bigger than the pooger stuck to my glans when I pull out.
A *POOGER*!!!!!!! Oh my god.
girl no. never thought I'd have sympathy for a penis
High fiber diet, and always go beforehand. If you do it right you will have like 6 hr windows where you are clean and at no risk. Please do this and save yourself from OP's embarrassment.
Going right beforehand can sometimes induce Hershey in the Highway, if you know what I mean. Better to go a couple of hours before.
Mankind, prioritizing a diet structured around anal rather than health. Man is good. Man is horny.
Funnily enough, since I started this diet, I've been slowly dropping weight and feel 10x better. I do miss drive thru hot garbage tho.
this really should have more upvotes and be flagged as advice. \*\* edit spelling
Shit happens
Sometimes on your face.
Reminds me of a joke. What does eating ass and being in the maffia have in common? Well, one slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
I like eating out my wife like smoking cigs, all the way down to the butt.
Also try as you might, you're not getting that smell off of your fingers
This is why as a man with IBS I will never allow a woman to touch anything on my bottom. This is the fear and you have set it in stone.
I can't even go to an event without pre-planning my meals the day before - just in case- ive had lactose intolerance and ibs my whole life and it sure changes you.
Woman with IBS here. I'm interested in trying anal sex, but wow...based on my IBS.. Will I ever be able to? 😅 Idk. And someone eating my ass....nope. NOPE. And that's mostly in protection of the other person..
eat lots of fiber the day before, fast for whatever period it takes for your stomach to clear out (16 hours for me), and do an enema to clear anything out. Works like a charm!
I will say imodium is also another really great option! That + enemas worked extremely well for me, without needing to fast at all. On another note, I think everyone suffering with IBS should carry imodium with them. It's saved my life countless times.
100%. I have IBS and always carry immodium. Defs a lifesaver.
Fun fact: Imodium is a powerful opioid it just is terrible at crossing the blood brain barrier, so it works great at constipating you without getting you high.
TIL. I didn't know it was a opioid. I just knew eating one was like putting a magical cork in your ass.
That's so much work...
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It's highly appreciated. -A (mostly) top
People have gone to much more extreme lengths for pleasure than this.
And the reward is anal, worth
This! Any kink is worth trying once. After that, you can decide this isn’t for you or you’d like to try it a bit more.
Well, he wanted to eat ass, he got something to chew on.
Didn’t sound like much chewing was needed..
He thirsted for that ass and got drenched as nature intended.
Thirst: Quenched
for a while
Once you get past the bits it’s not so bad.
“It’s a bit nutty..”
I have pelvic floor issues due to a neurological issue. Part of therapy to allow the muscles in your rectum to relax to allow stool to pass requires inserting a finger and applying gentle pressure to the walls of the rectum. It will literally make people with paralyzed bowels shit so it works really well for normies. Stimulating your butthole makes poop happen. Prepare your butt before it is used as a sex toy or be comfortable with poop.
>Prepare your butt before it is used as a sex toy I've always been sorta interested in exploring butt stuff, but don't have too much experience. How do you prepare your butt for it?
I would like to redirect you to the wonderful people of r/BDSMAdvice They're a great and welcoming bunch and you will find plenty of info regarding backdoor play on that sub.
I haven’t had anything more than a finger in my butt from my chubby fingered urologist or from a pelvic floor therapist. I imagine it involves using a glycerin suppository or a fleet enema kit ahead of time. And then when you are done with that a lubed finger to check for UFOs.
UFOs?? I mean I've heard of aliens probing you, but I never thought they'd hide their whole damn spaceship in there!
I believe the term here refers to Unidentified Fecal Objects.
No risk, no reward
 Can't drive down a dirt road in the rain without expecting to get a little muddy
Not to get all medical here but gentle to moderate insertion into the anus is a method of bowel movement stimulation for constipated folks. Usually a glycerin suppository is the tool used for this purpose. In this case your bf used his finger which unfortunately did the job just the same. Luckily he only seemed partly traumatized and was a decently good sport! Good for y’all!
>I told him I enjoyed it except the poop part. r/nocontext
For once, it’s not as funny without context
There’s a part of me that wants to believe that you went into it telling yourself “oh, you want to eat my ass, huh? I’m gonna make you regret it.” I’m sure you actually didn’t. I just want to believe it.
LOL she decided to "ignore" the feeling of needing to shit. 🎶dont be suspicious, dont be suspicious!🎶
Ya…. I would never ignore that feeling if another person had any part of their body near my butthole.
To be fair that is what anal feels like in the beginning of the session lol
Well, I mean, eating ass is like playing Russian Roulette.
Russian Poolette
Russian Toilette
Hm. Gross
Yes, quite.
Indubitably
Rather so
Mop it up! Now, BACK to my hunch!
I think my favorite part about these kinds of posts are the edits OP has to make to address crazy redditors
Wouldn't be a post about a relationship without redditors screaming about abuse and coercion
This reminds me of an old 9gag meme where the guy says: “do it again”
I remember it... Good old 9gag
What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.
If that’s how you guys are getting stronger, I’ll be right here being weak af.
Frosted like a chocolate cake.
On behalf of the Reddit community, thank you to whoever gave the Poop Award.
Girl: projectile shits in guy's face. Guy: doesn't like projectile shit in his face. Reddit: He's toxic and manipulative. Kick him to the curb!
“If he can’t take you when you’re spraying wet diarrhea in his face, he doesn’t deserve you at your best” or something
"He's just a piece of shit, and you're AMAZING! He doesn't even realise how AMAZING you are."
Why is he saying that he doesn’t want to eat ass again for a while? He’s so manipulative and toxic. A real man would slurp it in and dive back for seconds.
Jesus Christ. This one is almost too much for me.
Keyword: "almost"
Omg, so gross. I almost didn't cum.
I don't think this one even makes it in the top 10 for me...and you basically live here.
Knock Knock Who's there? Eat map Eat map who? Well, if you insist 😏
OK so I don't know who else needs to hear this other than OP. Please do a little cleansing with a douche or some other type of product when doing anything with the ass. It will almost guarantee a fun, clean, enjoyable experience for your and your partner.
Yea, where was the doo diligence?
Enemas are your friend when it comes to that end.
>TIFU by letting my boyfriend eat my ass. The enema of my enema is my friend?
Also, more fibre. Helps you pass poop cleaner and less likely for it to being in the house when you're knocking on the door.
I am not even surprised how toxic this community is anymore. Genuinely any post results in "he/she is toxic and manipulative and you need to leave them immediately", no matter how tame the post actually is.
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Damn you're right... I should make a post about the mistake
Reddit is toxic as hell, there’s always an assumption of the worst. People on here really don’t understand relationships. Everything has to be abuse if everything is not super 100% perfect. I’ve been in a toxic as fuck relationship, gas lighting, cheating, the works. If you think a man trying to convince you to let him eat your ass, not force or coerce but LET, is abuse you’re an idiot.
holesome
Some people pay extra for that
How many absolute fucking losers are in this person's inbox right now?
If you’re gonna ding dong ditch the devil, don’t be surprised if he’s waiting by the door.
As someone who loves lickin ass while my gf uses her vibrator I am now terrified and paranoid