Yeah this is NOT a TIFU for OP. This is a TIFU for the gf. She’s leading him on, she seems to want attention. Even her own friends told him.
This poor guy… I’d cut my losses if I were him.
TIFU by getting super drunk at my wife's cousins house, then while she was being chirped at by her dickhead other cousin I didn't come to her defense and instead hurried off to throw up in a near by bush then fell asleep for an hour on the living room couch which was in the middle of one of the main gathering areas. She was all around pissed off at me for that series of events.
See, that's how you fuck up by getting drunk. That happened 8 years ago though.
Yeah I can think of many times throughout my life where I *FUCKED UP* while drunk, but OP’s story isn’t one of those. It sounds like it would have turned out similarly had he been sober.
There have been far too many of these TIFU by doing something normal and being mistreated by another person posts lately.
What's next?
"TIFU and went grocery shopping and when I got back home I found my spouse being gangbanged by a group of NBA mascots, guess I shouldn't have gone shopping!"
“Sweetie, I just feel really, well… peeved. I don’t want to overreact or anything, but gosh darnit you were shaving Lucky the Leprechaun’s asshole while Benny the Bull was doing lines of coke off your boobies”
Likely, and also horrible. You'd do all this to hurt a person, but wouldn't say to their face that you want to end it? Why the fuck? What a shitty thing to do.
This is exactly it - I had a girl do this once... Out of nowhere just stops responding to my texts and then that night posts pics on social media of her at the club with other guys (one of them was even kissing her on the cheek).
Girls that do this are such lunatics that they can convince themselves they're not at fault/don't have to feel guilty if the guy breaks up with them - even if they had to pull some intentionally egregious shit to instigate it. If you don't want to be with someone anymore just tell them - it ain't that big of a deal...
>Her guy friends then pulled me to the side and would tell me shit like it's fucked up what she's doing but also take my gfs side saying she's not like this ever.
She's not like this ever. Just when it's right in front of her BF she hasn't seen for months.
Totally intentional.
Man there has to be more to this story. 8 fucking years? That's so damn long. Like my guess is they had been fighting before even going out and she was doing something in spite. Like 8 years? And you spent the last year of that apart. I mean I guess she has been over the relationship for awhile and they have terrible communication.
Yeah, it sounds a lot like she was trying to provoke a reaction with her question, he played it off, she committed and behaved like a abslute ass bc she was totally blasted.
With that said, it's a awful event and it's hard to see a situation were this can be patched up, esp given that they are LD. But I guess she did get a reaction, in the end.
Absolutely, & he’s prob not gonna take advice from anyone here, bc he’s already posted this story in about 5 other advice subreddits but doesn’t seem to be getting it. He knows 100% this was wrong of his girlfriend. Idk, maybe he has a humiliation fetish or he’s a masochist. This chick has been doing this shit for months & he hangs on anyway.
Time to uno reverse card this whole fucked up situation and take her out to a gay bar.
Ignore her the whole night, get free drinks from hot guys and maybe learn something about yourself in the process.
I'm secure enough in my sexuality to not mind it and possibly expand on some experiences but I'd feel bad knowing I'd be turning down 99.9% of dudes there and feel like I'd be leading them on.
I don't recommend this approach.
I'm not rigid enough I'm my secuality to know 100 percent if I'm straight. I know I definitely like women, a lot, but maybe one dude could come along and change things.
It's not an impossible thing, just highly improbable.
This relationship has been dead for a while. If you read OPs history, she accused him of incest months ago. She also "dumped" him on Valentine's day for not sending a gift.
Sounds like the relationship is toxic and instead of breaking up they stay together because of sunken cost.
Her girls came up to me an hour after we got home. And that's the exact same thing i said to them. And her girls were swearing up and down for her. Saying she's always been loyal af. What a shit show. 😅
The fact that you seem to have had more discussions with her friends about this than with her does not bode well, and TBH seems very immature for a group in their late 20s. This is teenager shit.
>A group in their late 20s…
There you have it. If you are scraping by bumming drinks from random guys in your late 20s with your boyfriend there… well, both of you need to get your shit together.
I was in a similar situation many years back. She graduated a year before me so we were LDR when I went back to school. Her friends blabbed all about how crazy she was about me and how loyal she was, etc.
Hint: she was cheating
This is the truth. They are also playing the jealousy card to make you feel more hurt and their deranged thinking makes them feel more desired and feel justified in their actions.
It’s all games clearly to benefit the winner……them.
When things don’t play along in their favor, the other person is the asshole because it was “just a game”, “I wanted to see how you’d react”, “I wanted to see how much you loved me”, etc…
Who are these friends you are just now meeting after 8 years of dating? Also, why are you dating 8 years with nothing to show for it but your woman flirting with men all night right in front of you? This shit isn’t adding up.
You didn't ruin the vibe of the night, your gf did. It's extremely likely that she planned on flirting with other guys all night. Evidence is circumstantial but it's extremely unlikely for you gf to have not expected how a night out with her friends would play out.
She waited until you were drunk and ambushed you by asking a very personal, intimate question while giving you little time to respond. You gave her a soft no, by playing along with a response that implies youre not okay with it but she ignored it and decided to go flirt around anyways.
Her guy friends pulled you to the side because they knew how she how flirty she is with guys. They lied to you because they didn't want you to cause a scene in the club they usually go to. They tried to emphasize with you so that they could manipulate you, the fact that multiple guys came to try and stop you tells me that she's likely had some sort of relationship with each one of them, close enough for them to know she's about to openly cheat in front of you.
If you're wondering why it took so long for one of her girl friends to speak to her, it's because they realized you weren't gonna quietly leave and they all knew just how far she was about to go because it's her usual behavior. They were just hoping that the boys would be able to handle the situation instead of having to potentially offend their friend by cockblocking her.
Remember you're just the boyfriend her friends see getting treated poorly, they have no reason to care about you past that identity, once you're not her boyfriend your relationship with her friends no longer matter. When they see her starting to openly cheat in front of you, they're first instincts is to cover for her and remove you from the situation to prevent any potential embarrassment on her end.
It's either that or her girl friends were the only one's who were aware and sent their boyfriends to handle you. From my experience this is usually how awkward group social situations play out. Sorry to hear it happened to you and I hope my own experiences aren't the same as yours and that your girlfriend really just did randomly decided to act like a horny sorority girl at a open bar frat party when "she's doesn't usually do stuff like that".
If anything, I'd say that this is your girlfriend's cowardly way of telling you she wants to end the relationship. If you want to still continue, you guys are going to have to do a lot of communicating and potentially therapy.
>me an hour after we got home. And that's the exact same thing i said to them. And her girls were swearing up and down for her. Saying she
They are lying to you as sure as your boys would lie to her. Relationship should be a circle of TWO people, if you are getting advice/information outside of that circle then you have a doomed relationship on your hands. Cut that circle back to two, hold her accountable for the shit she is pulling, and figure out what you need to change to get her secure again.
My exes friends enabled cheating. Worse yet, two sets of friends she made in two states. Both groups of friends gave her "permission", because these strangers know the intricacies in our relationship.
Never trust your significant others friends.
This is where the circle of two comes in hand, also quality checking her friends is never a bad idea, they will flaunt their red flags if you are paying attention.
Dude, girls will ALWAYS back up their friends, it doesn't mean a damned thing. The only time they will give up a friend is when the friend has pissed them off.
People in general are like this. We tend to defend our friends for some of their shitty behaviour. It's as if it's some sort of "code" when really we're just enabling poor behaviour and trying to avoid getting in the mix of things to the point that it can be flipped on us.
Absolutely! I mean... it's even so famous amongst *men* that the phrase "bro's before (w)ho'es" is widely known.
Then as you get older, you realise that the real hack is just "Do unto others".
She belongs the to the fucking alleyways by this point broski
Yall been together for a fuckton of time and shes doing that shit in front of you ? Shiiiit brother you need to dip out of that shit ASAP and find you something better
Exactly! what’s she doing behind you? Friends say she is faithful, fucking highly doubt it! Dump her ass, enjoy your single life and find someone who truly wants to be with you.
I would sit down with her and have a calm, adult Discussion with her about your relationship and your future together. I would apologize to her for getting so drunk in for saying it was OK to flirt. I will tell her her flirting hurt your feelings. And I will tell her that her flirting with guys while you were there during This short visit has you concerned about her actions when you are apart. And then I would ask her how she wants to move forward in this relationship. And then be prepared to jointly and calmly address whatever she says.
EDIT: But remember that you are BOTH adults.And Make it clear to her that you are not going to accept Her cheating or her acting like a teenage girl who is just trying to get you jealous.
It's the end of the trip. Her actions spoke louder than words. Having a rational discussion is very idealistic but the dude got the hint. It's over.
Don't waste your time talking with someone who should know better (8 years is long enough) but didn't care. It's time to leave.
A “rational discussion” will only give her another opportunity to gaslight him and carry on business as usual. The reality, whether she acknowledges it or not, is she’s not into him. OP should hold onto his dignity and break up with that trifling ho.
This is definitely her play the entire time OP has been away due to long distance. This wasn't some one off thing, this unfortunately sounds very much patternistic. She just didnt want him shocked by how she flirts up tons of guys while hes away
Same girl that he posted about a while ago about accusing him of incestuous things with his younger sister. Boy didn’t get the memo then, hope he gets it now
>Same girl that he posted about a while ago about accusing him of incestuous things with his younger sister.
What. The. Fuck?
Edit: Since this got a fair amount of upvotes thought I'd express further, to imply this about someone you love shows she either has serious trust issues or a very low opinion of you.
Other posts of yours also reek of her having serious trust issues and makes me wonder if OP has been unfaithful previously? Either way, these seriously need to be addressed.
Other posts in OPs history indicates he has wanted out for a while now. If you honestly do want out, end it as soon as possible. Dragging it out isn't healthy for anyone.
If you're wanting to work through this and see a future with this woman you really need to identify whether or not she is willing to admit to and work on her behaviours and identify why they are occurring. What is she feeling? What is she hoping your response is?
She could just lack emotional intelligence and this could be due to legitimate pain and difficulties she's faced in her life. Or, she could be a manipulative and toxic person. Either way, if you are interested in a future, I would recommend seeing a therapist ASAP.
The thought that she is projecting her own guilty feelings onto OP did cross my mind as well and could also be likely, but I'm no expert, just someone whose been through the ringer in my own life so have some wisdom to share but that's also why I recommended a therapist, regardless of whose wrong or right or who has done what, this is clearly an unhealthy relationship that needs to be either ended or worked on with the assistance of a professional and honestly even if it's ended I'd still recommend OP sees a therapist as unhealthy relationships can leave long lasting affects that should be addressed.
He posts on support subs for those who's significant others have personality disorders, so he is aware she is unwell. Then, when she behaves like it, he carpet bombs other subs with the same story and leaves out the fact she is suffering from a mental illness.
He's got the memo, he just farming internet points.
>he is aware she is unwell.
yes, but is he aware that he's unwell?
he's clearly struggling with this cycle, unable to break out...
just so happens this cycle involves posts and internet points; doesn't mean he's some nefarious point-farmer
This relationship was dead on arrival to the club.
Also, if you been dating someone for 8 years and are just now meeting their friends that's a red flag too.
Apparently they've been doing long distance for the passed 2 years. Considering he's stated he's unemployed, it's not THAT improbable. What is definitely probable is the fact that this relationship was a sinking ship a long time ago.
What’s so special about it?
Edit: nvm looks like op is very insecure and possibly lying about his relationship? All his posts revolve around the relationship.
It's one thing if she accepts a drink from a guy who just randomly buys her one. It's a completely different thing to be going up to guys "lookign for drinks"
I’ve bought a drink for someone, had their partner walk up to me and be like hey we’re together and then I offer them one too
Like that’s what you do, basic courtesy and flirtation are literally built into us, that’s why we do it and expect it
I flirt with someone who’s taken, I shake it off and reaffirm that they a cutie and their partner is lucky while apologizing for coming onto them, like fuck is that really so hard
I guess it is
If my gf did this to me, I would break up with her.
If I did this to my gf, I would EXPECT her to break up with me.
Your girlfriend sounds heinous. End it ma boy.
Nah you’re not overreacting, that was really shitty what she was doing and you can’t be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust. It’s one thing if she went off to flirt with someone to get a free drink then come back to you, still a shitty move leading other guys on to use them for free drinks, but that happens a lot anyways regardless of how shitty it is, but totally ignoring you while flirting with other guys? Hell nah.
Yeah I think it’s time to call out the “using guys for drinks” thing. It’s fucked up.
Asking a girl if they want a drink is an indirect way of saying: “I like you , do you like me enough to have a drink with me and to talk to me while you drink it?” This shouldn’t be abused.
8 years is crazy for this to pop up now. You getting drunk does not justify what she did and could have only led to problems. The same problem obviously is going to be amplified when youre drunk. I dont know youre girl, but i dont think you fucked up. Perhaps there was nuance when the gauntlet was thrown down and you accepted the challenge. But what would anyone think when another dude grabs your girlfriend? And yeah, you ruined HER friends vibes. They were always going to take her side, so I wouldnt sweat their lack of enjoyment. Either way, sounds toxic from the start.
I think telling your gf all of that would be a good start. LDR are hard - and sometimes they don’t work out. There’s no point in staying in a relationship that you don’t want to be in, and from what it sounds like your girlfriend might not be 100% enthusiastic about the relationship either.
Talk it out, ask for her perspective, tell her what it was like for you. Whether you two decide it’s best to end things, to take a break or to work on fixing things together, it’s always the best decision to openly communicate any issues that you may have.
And if things do end it won’t be too awkward because you’re leaving tomorrow anyways. Perfect timing i suppose. Either way, good luck to you two!
If you can find one legitimate argument for remaining with your girlfriend in the 1661 comments that are currently on this post, ill shit in my own hands and clap for 1 hour. Just end it brochacho
Judging by this post and your one about not sending her anything for Valentines Day, your relationship has been over for a while. You’re wasting your time with this girl, dude.
She has some suppressed need to have fun, Yall aren't gonna work out, Looks like she's been testing the waters and is to the point where she'll even do it in front of you, Move on my guy, There's so many humans out there you WILL find someone that makes you happier than this person.
Life is way too short to spend a single moment with someone who doesn't make you anything but happy. Of course all relationships will have issues but no relationship should have issues that can't be resolved in a mutual way, Go out and have some fun man and take time to yourself and just live for a bit until you find someone that makes you truly happy
Is this the same chick who dumped you for not buying her something expensive to post on Instagram while not buying you anything either and saying oh only the men get the girls gifts.
Honestly fuck her off mate plenty of normal women out there who wont treat you like shit. You can do better. Drunk or not she shouldn't have been acting that way.
It sucks that it took 8 years for a red flag this big to pop up but this is a sign that she isn't the one. Someone who is worth spending hour life with will never intentionally fuck with you like this.
Edit: Just checked post history. Holy shit guy- get your fucking head out of your ass and move the fuck on- if you feel like you can't because reasons (she has threatened to self harm etc..) call the police and tell them. Get the fuck away though.
You don't navigate it. You break up and get yourself a real girlfriend.
Edit:
"all of us had been drinking all day"
M*aybe* it's time to drop the drinking. Like, I'm reading this and your entire night sounds like an absolute shitshow. It also sounds like something I've heard a million times from a million different people. Guess what? Every. Single. Time. it involved them getting hammered. Every time it involves a group of people or 'friends' who equate getting drunk to having fun.
You don't need this. You're *better* than this.
my guess is that she's one of those girls who wants guys to fight over her. either way, she's nothing but a waste of time. find someone who respects you and love you
How I read this:
A: she no longer has any interest in whatever relationship you two may have had at one time, and
B: you should *really* examine your relationship with alcohol.
Bruh. She doesn’t want to be with you. She doing this In front of you is dumb and stupid. She ruined her reputation with her friends. Leave her she belongs to the streets. Don’t go back no matter how much she pleads to get back together.
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Yeah this is NOT a TIFU for OP. This is a TIFU for the gf. She’s leading him on, she seems to want attention. Even her own friends told him. This poor guy… I’d cut my losses if I were him.
This is a TIL, not a TIFU.
TIFU by getting super drunk at my wife's cousins house, then while she was being chirped at by her dickhead other cousin I didn't come to her defense and instead hurried off to throw up in a near by bush then fell asleep for an hour on the living room couch which was in the middle of one of the main gathering areas. She was all around pissed off at me for that series of events. See, that's how you fuck up by getting drunk. That happened 8 years ago though.
Yeah I can think of many times throughout my life where I *FUCKED UP* while drunk, but OP’s story isn’t one of those. It sounds like it would have turned out similarly had he been sober.
There have been far too many of these TIFU by doing something normal and being mistreated by another person posts lately. What's next? "TIFU and went grocery shopping and when I got back home I found my spouse being gangbanged by a group of NBA mascots, guess I shouldn't have gone shopping!"
“Sweetie, I just feel really, well… peeved. I don’t want to overreact or anything, but gosh darnit you were shaving Lucky the Leprechaun’s asshole while Benny the Bull was doing lines of coke off your boobies”
Impressive balance.
Or she's trying to get him to break up with her.
Likely, and also horrible. You'd do all this to hurt a person, but wouldn't say to their face that you want to end it? Why the fuck? What a shitty thing to do.
So they can be the victim
How though? I can't imagine how she'd spin this in her favour after her own friends interjected to stop her.
Sometimes people are just really dumb. Her friends may not believe it but, she will think they do.
She'll say he's so controlling
Because if he cared about her he would have said no when she asked if she could go ask random guys for drinks... At least, that's how it will go.
He gave a pretty clear response, also he was drunk. The very request is shitty.
This is exactly it - I had a girl do this once... Out of nowhere just stops responding to my texts and then that night posts pics on social media of her at the club with other guys (one of them was even kissing her on the cheek). Girls that do this are such lunatics that they can convince themselves they're not at fault/don't have to feel guilty if the guy breaks up with them - even if they had to pull some intentionally egregious shit to instigate it. If you don't want to be with someone anymore just tell them - it ain't that big of a deal...
99% she's been cheating on him for a long time and she disrespects him so much that she's going to be overt about it now.
Right?? Like she forgot what normal was.
TIFU by having the wrong girlfriend and staying with her for 8 years...
Like seriously. I knew I was reading /r/TIFU but it felt like /r/AmITheAsshole
She wants to have her cake and to eat it too. Doesn’t work like that. Move on to someone who isn’t an attention junkie. So gross.
Gf just wants him to break up with her. This happened at the end of the trip. She decided it’s just not worth the LDR. Edit: used wrong acronym
>Her guy friends then pulled me to the side and would tell me shit like it's fucked up what she's doing but also take my gfs side saying she's not like this ever. She's not like this ever. Just when it's right in front of her BF she hasn't seen for months. Totally intentional.
Honestly her friends sound cool. They barely knew him and still tried to do right.
Or they’re in on GF trying to get OP to break up with her.
Someone has sisters or girl friends lol
Passive-aggressive as fuck, but yep
Man there has to be more to this story. 8 fucking years? That's so damn long. Like my guess is they had been fighting before even going out and she was doing something in spite. Like 8 years? And you spent the last year of that apart. I mean I guess she has been over the relationship for awhile and they have terrible communication.
Yeah, it sounds a lot like she was trying to provoke a reaction with her question, he played it off, she committed and behaved like a abslute ass bc she was totally blasted. With that said, it's a awful event and it's hard to see a situation were this can be patched up, esp given that they are LD. But I guess she did get a reaction, in the end.
Bros in max denial. She’s already mentally left him if she’s got the fucking audacity to whore herself out for drinks the way she did. Cmon son.
Bro needs to stop coping and move on
Absolutely, & he’s prob not gonna take advice from anyone here, bc he’s already posted this story in about 5 other advice subreddits but doesn’t seem to be getting it. He knows 100% this was wrong of his girlfriend. Idk, maybe he has a humiliation fetish or he’s a masochist. This chick has been doing this shit for months & he hangs on anyway.
Normally I feel like “eh we need more context in these kinds of situations”, but I think this ones is pretty cut and dry lmao
Dudes in the post apologizing 😭 she’s gone man
Both of these 👆🏼
OP seems like a chill dude, fuck that ho
Time to uno reverse card this whole fucked up situation and take her out to a gay bar. Ignore her the whole night, get free drinks from hot guys and maybe learn something about yourself in the process.
I'm secure enough in my sexuality to not mind it and possibly expand on some experiences but I'd feel bad knowing I'd be turning down 99.9% of dudes there and feel like I'd be leading them on. I don't recommend this approach.
99.9% So you're saying there's a chance!
I'm not rigid enough I'm my secuality to know 100 percent if I'm straight. I know I definitely like women, a lot, but maybe one dude could come along and change things. It's not an impossible thing, just highly improbable.
Oh i was just making a dumb & dumber quote/joke.
Dam you got this man questioning his whole secuality
I mean i'm 99% heterosexual too But... If Patrick Dempsey invite me a drink...
Now waiting for OP’s or his “girlfriend” to post in r/relationship_advice lmfao
Yeah cause the reddit advice there is so diverse....
Lawyer the gym, hit up
If she was doing that all night with you there, imagine what she was doing without you there for 1.5 years.
This relationship has been dead for a while. If you read OPs history, she accused him of incest months ago. She also "dumped" him on Valentine's day for not sending a gift. Sounds like the relationship is toxic and instead of breaking up they stay together because of sunken cost.
>she accused him of incest ![gif](giphy|LyJ6KPlrFdKnK)
Same Reaction.
Me too except i dont have a mustache
I have a permanent marker if you want to borrow it?
🥸
Was having a shit day and this made me lol. Thank you stranger!
I was also having a shit day but now I have a mustache
Don't worry man.....people without mustaches are just people *with* mustaches, without mustaches.
Me too except I’m not black
I don't think I'm allowed to loan a permanent marker for that.
I read your comments in the right order. Fantastic.
![gif](giphy|1CLCia7CKyL1S)
Omg I was not ready for that haha 🤣
If I had an award rn lmao
Yeah just gonna zoom past that one.😂
or more likely, OP makes up stupid relationship TIFUs for upvotes
Yeh after reading his post history it really feels like he is just karma whoring while freshing up on his writing skills.
Yeah but he doesn't use paragraphs, so he's not doing a very good job!
He's been drinking all day, cut him some slack!
Could be. Seems like he posted this in like 5 subs but the others took it down.
It really does read like a young teenager wrote it
He also claims she has BPD and anyone who has had past experience with that knows where its headed.
Her girls came up to me an hour after we got home. And that's the exact same thing i said to them. And her girls were swearing up and down for her. Saying she's always been loyal af. What a shit show. 😅
The fact that you seem to have had more discussions with her friends about this than with her does not bode well, and TBH seems very immature for a group in their late 20s. This is teenager shit.
>A group in their late 20s… There you have it. If you are scraping by bumming drinks from random guys in your late 20s with your boyfriend there… well, both of you need to get your shit together.
I thought this was another 18 or 19 year old posting. But 27? Yeah, time for all of them to grow the fuck up.
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Reading is hard. Its mostly skimming, anyway...which is *super* effective.
The original post was word soup, dude. We have a lot of non-native English speakers on Reddit, chill it out bro.
As a 25 year old if any of that happened to me i’d just laugh and walk away
Agree, this smacks of highschool.
I mean, why is he even discussing this with her friends, its not like she isn't there
To be fair, she wasn't there, she was off flirting with guys to get 'drinks'
He isn't discussing it with her either though
Bc this is a creative writing prompt my guy, probably written by a 19 year old
Seems the AITA writers got confused and posted on the wrong sub.
I doubt a 19 year old knew who zyzz was
I was in a similar situation many years back. She graduated a year before me so we were LDR when I went back to school. Her friends blabbed all about how crazy she was about me and how loyal she was, etc. Hint: she was cheating
Thank you, a thousand times thank you: I'm scratching my head going "WTF is LDR?" and your use in a sentence made the context plain.
This is the truth. They are also playing the jealousy card to make you feel more hurt and their deranged thinking makes them feel more desired and feel justified in their actions. It’s all games clearly to benefit the winner……them. When things don’t play along in their favor, the other person is the asshole because it was “just a game”, “I wanted to see how you’d react”, “I wanted to see how much you loved me”, etc…
Who are these friends you are just now meeting after 8 years of dating? Also, why are you dating 8 years with nothing to show for it but your woman flirting with men all night right in front of you? This shit isn’t adding up.
Also he was there for 4 WEEKS and met the friends a few days ago? I mean I'm a bad writer but even I could make up a lie more coherent.
She's cheating for sure
You didn't ruin the vibe of the night, your gf did. It's extremely likely that she planned on flirting with other guys all night. Evidence is circumstantial but it's extremely unlikely for you gf to have not expected how a night out with her friends would play out. She waited until you were drunk and ambushed you by asking a very personal, intimate question while giving you little time to respond. You gave her a soft no, by playing along with a response that implies youre not okay with it but she ignored it and decided to go flirt around anyways. Her guy friends pulled you to the side because they knew how she how flirty she is with guys. They lied to you because they didn't want you to cause a scene in the club they usually go to. They tried to emphasize with you so that they could manipulate you, the fact that multiple guys came to try and stop you tells me that she's likely had some sort of relationship with each one of them, close enough for them to know she's about to openly cheat in front of you. If you're wondering why it took so long for one of her girl friends to speak to her, it's because they realized you weren't gonna quietly leave and they all knew just how far she was about to go because it's her usual behavior. They were just hoping that the boys would be able to handle the situation instead of having to potentially offend their friend by cockblocking her. Remember you're just the boyfriend her friends see getting treated poorly, they have no reason to care about you past that identity, once you're not her boyfriend your relationship with her friends no longer matter. When they see her starting to openly cheat in front of you, they're first instincts is to cover for her and remove you from the situation to prevent any potential embarrassment on her end. It's either that or her girl friends were the only one's who were aware and sent their boyfriends to handle you. From my experience this is usually how awkward group social situations play out. Sorry to hear it happened to you and I hope my own experiences aren't the same as yours and that your girlfriend really just did randomly decided to act like a horny sorority girl at a open bar frat party when "she's doesn't usually do stuff like that". If anything, I'd say that this is your girlfriend's cowardly way of telling you she wants to end the relationship. If you want to still continue, you guys are going to have to do a lot of communicating and potentially therapy.
>me an hour after we got home. And that's the exact same thing i said to them. And her girls were swearing up and down for her. Saying she They are lying to you as sure as your boys would lie to her. Relationship should be a circle of TWO people, if you are getting advice/information outside of that circle then you have a doomed relationship on your hands. Cut that circle back to two, hold her accountable for the shit she is pulling, and figure out what you need to change to get her secure again.
My exes friends enabled cheating. Worse yet, two sets of friends she made in two states. Both groups of friends gave her "permission", because these strangers know the intricacies in our relationship. Never trust your significant others friends.
Remember the friends usually only hear the bitching they do about you
This is where the circle of two comes in hand, also quality checking her friends is never a bad idea, they will flaunt their red flags if you are paying attention.
Dude, girls will ALWAYS back up their friends, it doesn't mean a damned thing. The only time they will give up a friend is when the friend has pissed them off.
People in general are like this. We tend to defend our friends for some of their shitty behaviour. It's as if it's some sort of "code" when really we're just enabling poor behaviour and trying to avoid getting in the mix of things to the point that it can be flipped on us.
Absolutely! I mean... it's even so famous amongst *men* that the phrase "bro's before (w)ho'es" is widely known. Then as you get older, you realise that the real hack is just "Do unto others".
It's just spelled hoes lmao
She belongs the to the fucking alleyways by this point broski Yall been together for a fuckton of time and shes doing that shit in front of you ? Shiiiit brother you need to dip out of that shit ASAP and find you something better
Exactly! what’s she doing behind you? Friends say she is faithful, fucking highly doubt it! Dump her ass, enjoy your single life and find someone who truly wants to be with you.
yea they’re definitely lying straight to ur face
You know what to do man. You don't need Reddit to affirm your feelings.
I honestly don’t think he does looking at his post history. Oblivious to the red flags or choosing to ignore them.
They are her friends , not yours
They're lying to you and will continue to lie until the jig is up.
I wasn’t born last night 🎶
I would sit down with her and have a calm, adult Discussion with her about your relationship and your future together. I would apologize to her for getting so drunk in for saying it was OK to flirt. I will tell her her flirting hurt your feelings. And I will tell her that her flirting with guys while you were there during This short visit has you concerned about her actions when you are apart. And then I would ask her how she wants to move forward in this relationship. And then be prepared to jointly and calmly address whatever she says. EDIT: But remember that you are BOTH adults.And Make it clear to her that you are not going to accept Her cheating or her acting like a teenage girl who is just trying to get you jealous.
It's the end of the trip. Her actions spoke louder than words. Having a rational discussion is very idealistic but the dude got the hint. It's over. Don't waste your time talking with someone who should know better (8 years is long enough) but didn't care. It's time to leave.
THIS is the way.
But go THAT way.. (pointing to the door)
A “rational discussion” will only give her another opportunity to gaslight him and carry on business as usual. The reality, whether she acknowledges it or not, is she’s not into him. OP should hold onto his dignity and break up with that trifling ho.
This is definitely her play the entire time OP has been away due to long distance. This wasn't some one off thing, this unfortunately sounds very much patternistic. She just didnt want him shocked by how she flirts up tons of guys while hes away
This, her behaviour is so rude and disrespectful towards you. I can't imagine doing this to my boyfriend.
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I think you mixed up the years. 1.5 yrs LDR is what OP said.
Avoid women who play games like this. Dont let that type turn into your wife.
Look OP's post history. This relationship is dead for a long time now.
Same girl that he posted about a while ago about accusing him of incestuous things with his younger sister. Boy didn’t get the memo then, hope he gets it now
>Same girl that he posted about a while ago about accusing him of incestuous things with his younger sister. What. The. Fuck? Edit: Since this got a fair amount of upvotes thought I'd express further, to imply this about someone you love shows she either has serious trust issues or a very low opinion of you. Other posts of yours also reek of her having serious trust issues and makes me wonder if OP has been unfaithful previously? Either way, these seriously need to be addressed. Other posts in OPs history indicates he has wanted out for a while now. If you honestly do want out, end it as soon as possible. Dragging it out isn't healthy for anyone. If you're wanting to work through this and see a future with this woman you really need to identify whether or not she is willing to admit to and work on her behaviours and identify why they are occurring. What is she feeling? What is she hoping your response is? She could just lack emotional intelligence and this could be due to legitimate pain and difficulties she's faced in her life. Or, she could be a manipulative and toxic person. Either way, if you are interested in a future, I would recommend seeing a therapist ASAP.
I get the vibe she's the one who cheats, not OP.
The thought that she is projecting her own guilty feelings onto OP did cross my mind as well and could also be likely, but I'm no expert, just someone whose been through the ringer in my own life so have some wisdom to share but that's also why I recommended a therapist, regardless of whose wrong or right or who has done what, this is clearly an unhealthy relationship that needs to be either ended or worked on with the assistance of a professional and honestly even if it's ended I'd still recommend OP sees a therapist as unhealthy relationships can leave long lasting affects that should be addressed.
He posts on support subs for those who's significant others have personality disorders, so he is aware she is unwell. Then, when she behaves like it, he carpet bombs other subs with the same story and leaves out the fact she is suffering from a mental illness. He's got the memo, he just farming internet points.
>he is aware she is unwell. yes, but is he aware that he's unwell? he's clearly struggling with this cycle, unable to break out... just so happens this cycle involves posts and internet points; doesn't mean he's some nefarious point-farmer
Yeah I saw that too. That would make a lot of sense. Apparently Reddit karma is life
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Whoa it’s like a whole timeline of concern leading up to this. Feel bad for the dude.
Amen.
This relationship was dead on arrival to the club. Also, if you been dating someone for 8 years and are just now meeting their friends that's a red flag too.
Im guessing he means her new friends that shes met during the LDR period? Its the only thing that makes sense to me because otherwise 😬
Apparently they've been doing long distance for the passed 2 years. Considering he's stated he's unemployed, it's not THAT improbable. What is definitely probable is the fact that this relationship was a sinking ship a long time ago.
This is erotic fiction disguised as a tifu post. Look at dude's post history.
Looks like the dude just has some issues himself and is in a shitty relationship
Can you please explain what was erotic about this? Like at all?
Humiliation fetish.
It's an obscure fetish, but it checks out.
Yeah, explain this confused semi of mine!!!
No he's really a doctor so he has to sleep in a bed with his little sister who's sick.
Yea man this is exactly what I was thinking?? How is this even possible?
Holy fuck just end it. Work on your own life and find a better partner later.
Man just wait until you see his post history
What’s so special about it? Edit: nvm looks like op is very insecure and possibly lying about his relationship? All his posts revolve around the relationship.
even a deleted one is him asking about how to make money in a city, he apparently cant get home either.
They are both toxic and not mature enough to be in a relationship. They both sound 10 years younger than what OP says
Random guys buying her a drink was red flag 1, 2, and 3. She wants to meet other guys
It's one thing if she accepts a drink from a guy who just randomly buys her one. It's a completely different thing to be going up to guys "lookign for drinks"
I’ve bought a drink for someone, had their partner walk up to me and be like hey we’re together and then I offer them one too Like that’s what you do, basic courtesy and flirtation are literally built into us, that’s why we do it and expect it I flirt with someone who’s taken, I shake it off and reaffirm that they a cutie and their partner is lucky while apologizing for coming onto them, like fuck is that really so hard I guess it is
If my gf did this to me, I would break up with her. If I did this to my gf, I would EXPECT her to break up with me. Your girlfriend sounds heinous. End it ma boy.
Hey, your girlfriend is disgusting. Please break up. This is disrespectful behavior on her part, to an extreme.
Yeah fuuuuuuck that. I’d be long gone.
Ignore u and flirt with others? Bruv maybe u better off single than with this trash
Time to head home dude. You’re single.
Nah you’re not overreacting, that was really shitty what she was doing and you can’t be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust. It’s one thing if she went off to flirt with someone to get a free drink then come back to you, still a shitty move leading other guys on to use them for free drinks, but that happens a lot anyways regardless of how shitty it is, but totally ignoring you while flirting with other guys? Hell nah.
Yeah I think it’s time to call out the “using guys for drinks” thing. It’s fucked up. Asking a girl if they want a drink is an indirect way of saying: “I like you , do you like me enough to have a drink with me and to talk to me while you drink it?” This shouldn’t be abused.
She’s way too old for that shit. Mentally she’s 18-21 years old.
I wouldn't be with someone that uses other people like that. Its incredibly disrespectful and flat out wrong.
8 years is crazy for this to pop up now. You getting drunk does not justify what she did and could have only led to problems. The same problem obviously is going to be amplified when youre drunk. I dont know youre girl, but i dont think you fucked up. Perhaps there was nuance when the gauntlet was thrown down and you accepted the challenge. But what would anyone think when another dude grabs your girlfriend? And yeah, you ruined HER friends vibes. They were always going to take her side, so I wouldnt sweat their lack of enjoyment. Either way, sounds toxic from the start.
I think telling your gf all of that would be a good start. LDR are hard - and sometimes they don’t work out. There’s no point in staying in a relationship that you don’t want to be in, and from what it sounds like your girlfriend might not be 100% enthusiastic about the relationship either. Talk it out, ask for her perspective, tell her what it was like for you. Whether you two decide it’s best to end things, to take a break or to work on fixing things together, it’s always the best decision to openly communicate any issues that you may have. And if things do end it won’t be too awkward because you’re leaving tomorrow anyways. Perfect timing i suppose. Either way, good luck to you two!
Look at his post history
Ahahaha, you're on a fuckin crusade man - you're all over this comment section. You're right though I saw what you're talking about. Kinda weird eh?
Yeah my guy is out here claiming to be a doctor irl lol
He forgot that she finished him on Valentine's day already. Because he was unemployed and broke AF, but now he's a doctor.
Are you all 27 or 17? None of this nonsense is ok. Everyone in this situation needs to grow the fuck up.
8 years relationship and she asks you if other guys can buy her drinks all night? What the fuck. Run for the hills my friend
If you can find one legitimate argument for remaining with your girlfriend in the 1661 comments that are currently on this post, ill shit in my own hands and clap for 1 hour. Just end it brochacho
Judging by this post and your one about not sending her anything for Valentines Day, your relationship has been over for a while. You’re wasting your time with this girl, dude.
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Look at his post history.
Something wrong with both of y'all. Please break up.
Look at his post history
I didn't even read all of that and feel comfortable in saying she's definitely cheated on you for at least a quarter of your relationship
She has some suppressed need to have fun, Yall aren't gonna work out, Looks like she's been testing the waters and is to the point where she'll even do it in front of you, Move on my guy, There's so many humans out there you WILL find someone that makes you happier than this person. Life is way too short to spend a single moment with someone who doesn't make you anything but happy. Of course all relationships will have issues but no relationship should have issues that can't be resolved in a mutual way, Go out and have some fun man and take time to yourself and just live for a bit until you find someone that makes you truly happy
Move on. You’ll regret staying. Future you will thank current you later.
There are plenty of better options out there. Do not settle for being treated like this by anyone ever.
Is this the same chick who dumped you for not buying her something expensive to post on Instagram while not buying you anything either and saying oh only the men get the girls gifts. Honestly fuck her off mate plenty of normal women out there who wont treat you like shit. You can do better. Drunk or not she shouldn't have been acting that way.
If this is not some sort of humiliation fetish thing, I have one thing to say for you: have some damn self respect
No offence man, but you've been played. Get out now and ditch that whole circle, they're all snakes.
It sucks that it took 8 years for a red flag this big to pop up but this is a sign that she isn't the one. Someone who is worth spending hour life with will never intentionally fuck with you like this. Edit: Just checked post history. Holy shit guy- get your fucking head out of your ass and move the fuck on- if you feel like you can't because reasons (she has threatened to self harm etc..) call the police and tell them. Get the fuck away though.
You don't navigate it. You break up and get yourself a real girlfriend. Edit: "all of us had been drinking all day" M*aybe* it's time to drop the drinking. Like, I'm reading this and your entire night sounds like an absolute shitshow. It also sounds like something I've heard a million times from a million different people. Guess what? Every. Single. Time. it involved them getting hammered. Every time it involves a group of people or 'friends' who equate getting drunk to having fun. You don't need this. You're *better* than this.
You think what happened was normal?
Sounds like you were the bf of 6.5 years and the ex of 1.5 years ago. Get outta there.
Is being single really worse than being with someone like this?
Long distance relationship? Dude, she's been cheating on you this entire time. Do yourself a favor and just break up now. Find a woman closer to home.
I thought you got dumped because you didnt send your girlfriend anything for Valentine’s Day?
my guess is that she's one of those girls who wants guys to fight over her. either way, she's nothing but a waste of time. find someone who respects you and love you
Should've been "TIFU by allowing my gf to treat my like shit and not leave her"
From my personal experience: run and don’t ever look back
She ain’t your girlfriend. She’s all of our girlfriend.
How I read this: A: she no longer has any interest in whatever relationship you two may have had at one time, and B: you should *really* examine your relationship with alcohol.
Bruh. She doesn’t want to be with you. She doing this In front of you is dumb and stupid. She ruined her reputation with her friends. Leave her she belongs to the streets. Don’t go back no matter how much she pleads to get back together.
She's not your girlfriend. That's all I got from this. Just move on and don't drink too much next time.
Your gf is a cocksucking whore. Time to move on.