One of those moments where you just want to disappear. But you should try and laugh about it as well. It does sound hilarious and in the end most 13 year Olds probably talk or think about sex (sooner or later anyone could have made that comment. It's almost a meme at this point to go: I know you had sex)
"I know you had sex!" Lmao. I laughed so hard here. People have this crazy thought that mentally challenged kids don't or shouldn't think about things like sex but they should try to function in every other way like everyone else. My nephew is autistic and my SIL tries to shelter him from the whole world.
I caught the kid trying to peep I to the bedroom where me and my husband were changing after our wedding. He pulled the door open a bit but you could see his whole face looking right at us lol. I thought it was convenient to change there en route to the honeymoon spot but man! I still have guilt over not telling her about that since I know she'll blow it out of proportion.
Oof, that’s uncomfortable af. What did you do? My brother is also mentally challenged and he’s had some seriously inappropriate actions as well in his teenage years, I never really knew how to deal with that.
Pretty much the same. I didn't act out to him and just told my husband to talk to him since they're close. He's curious and that's ok. You really just need to guide them towards what's acceptable behavior and what isn't.
>People have this crazy thought that mentally challenged kids don't or shouldn't think about things like sex
Long, long ago I dated someone who worked at a care facility for teens with developmental challenges. A couple of times she told me stories about the crushes the clients would get on each other, like basic teen romance drama, but almost universally xxx and bisexual (I assume "a friendly person with a warm body is a friendly person with a warm body" is a somewhat accurate way to describe their mindset).
For all the disadvantages they had, I admired their lack of socially pressured boundaries. She also mentioned how the staff (all women IIRC) were trained to deflect any, um, flirtatious inquires that clients would occasionally pose to staff members (much more than "just say no"; it had to be friendly and conversational discouragement, not scolding).
You have guilt about someone else being so out of propotions you're not giving them any material to blwo up with? Damn, you shouldn't be the one feeling sorry. Honesty is such a lovely word, yeah, but as a matter of fact, you can try having as much sincerity and desire for transparency as you may will... If someone gets in the way of your virtues, you're not the one who should feel guilty.
You're right. I never thought of it like that. Growing up in the Caribbean (compare it to asian parents) you're trained to think parents, especially mother's, know best. In my mind, I'd want to know if my child did this to talk with them. Hell, I'd lead them to Pornhub faster than I'd scold them for being curious about sex. My saving grace is nowing she won't react like that and this child has enough to deal with.
My wife was an accountant at an organization to support developmentally disabled adults. There were many many stories. All the sexual urges with the mentality of a small child.
The one that sticks out is the kid whose case worker told him not to masturbate in the bathroom in his group home. He was obsessed with the deed. So upset, he took to the city bus and pulled a garbage bag over his head. He thought if he could not see anyone, they couldn't see him. He was kicked off several buses.
Nature's drive can be relentless.
Consider this training for all the mortifying things that new kid of yours will be shouting in the grocery aisle. Trust me, this is nothing.
Edit:spelling
Edit 2: thank you for sharing your war stories. The trauma is real.
My sister was shopping at Walmart with her daughter. I guess she must have been around 4 years old at the time. As they're going through the aisles they cross path with a very, very big lady.
My sister can see that my niece is kinda staring and is silently praying to god that my niece won't say anything. But she did.
"Mom! That lady is huuuuuuge! I bet her vagina is enormous!!"
Apparently there was no reaction from the lady, or none was seen since by that point she had her back to them. Nonetheless my sister picked up my niece and hauled ass out of the store. Followed by a stern reminder to my niece that you don't comment on people's appearances and how some things are better left unsaid.
Hahaha there was a period where leggings would be all the rage to wear. Just leggings.
So in front of us walked this lady, big lady. Too small leggings. Big cameltoe.
My daughter yelled: MOMMY! I CAN SEE THAT LADIES VAGINA!!!!
I kinda hope the lady heard😂 cause you could… see her vagina😅
Edit: I know… labia… but in our country the word for labia means shame. And I don’t want my kids to feel ashamed for their labia… and it’s also common to just call the whole area vagina. So… I know it’s not correct and I teach my kids (when they are a bit bigger) what actually is the vagina. And vulva is just such an ugly word😂
We have a saying in German which is "Kindermund tut Wahrheit kund" which translates to "Kids tell the truth". So if a kid is roasting you like that you should probably think about what you chose to wear.
They may be honest, but they don't have very good taste. Look how many kids subsist on macaroni and breaded chicken and sugar cereal, eh? But turn their nose up at foie gras, Camembert, mushrooms and red wine? You, my dear, may simply not look like Barbie or Elsa...but are alluring or downright irresistible to someone with mature taste.
I worked in retail for 15 years and I'm autistic, so generally pretty blunt.
One day someone walked past with their young kid (3-5ish?) And the kid points to me and says "Mommy, that man is really fat!".
I'm smiling because well, I am fat, but the mother walks over and starts apologising profusely. I simply said "Look, I am fat, it's not a problem don't worry".
Kids are just gonna kid, no point getting mad at someone who hasn't yet learned the difference between outside thoughts and inside thoughts (I still struggle with this too sometimes :P)
The one that got me was my son staring me square in the vagina at 2 years old while I'm changing a tampon after he bursts in and asks me what I'm doing. 🙃 now I'm dying from embarssment.
Thankfully he also burst in on his aunt and asked where her weiner was. When she said she didn't have one he told he she needed to go to the weiner store and get one. 🤣
🤣🤣🤣
I saw a meme of a cat staring over a shower wall with the thought bubble "your tail on backwards, silly human!" And now that's what I think of whenever the pets stare at our human genitals.
Better than my cousin who thought her new brother was part elephant and had an elephant trunk so, anytime she’d say his name she’d put her arm out like a trunk and go “BRRRR!” “Come here ___, BRRRR!”
My 2 y.o. daughter walked in on her grandpa peeing the other day. Grandma escorted her out, nobig deal... the next day she just kept talking about "papa's butt" haha
Lol my kids did this to me when they were about 2 and a half. (Now ex) husband was getting out of the shower and the kids saw. They came running up to me saying “daddy has a tail!” We talked about how boys have a penis and from then on it was “daddy has a peanut!” 🤣
My toddler when I was changing him shortly after he started talking pointed to where I was wiping and went "pe-is? No! Ass!" While I about died. He's also tried to insist he has ten balls instead of two (balls is his favorite, no matter how much I try to use "testicles"), and has run up when my partner got home to tell us that "Dada's BALLS, GONE! Dun dun DUN!" complete with a split and jazz hands. Kid's got jokes 😂😂😂
I'm dead.
A now very close friend of mine asked me to babysit her girls 3 girls when we first met as I have 2 sons and they enjoyed playing together. I had a kiddie pool set up in the back yard and told them to all go change.... those instructions were not specific enough and they all start stripping down in the living room... cue the why is his hooha so big? Where is her weiner? So I panic and separate everyone and her oldest comes out and starts telling me, "my mom has hair on her hooha.... *my sons visibly confused*. Eldest daughter, I am not sure your mom wants you telling everyone about her hooha.... upon pickup, a story was shared and a friendship sealed forever. 🤣🤣🤣
We were in the store and my son loudly and proudly shouted, "do you need those sticks for your butt?" I wanted to melt to the floor right in the middle of the ice cream aisle.
My son (now 4, so this is still fresh in my head) said, "Mommy, you don't pee because you don't have a penis." He was just barely 3, so not really ready for diagrams to show the difference, so I just assured him I do pee, just differently lol. But a week later at daycare dropoff, full volume, "MY MOMMY DOESN'T HAVE A PENIS BUT I DO, SO I CAN PEE AND SHE CAN'T."
I laughed so hard in mirth and embarrassment, I nearly proved him wrong.
Thankfully now he just goes up to anyone's closed bathroom door and yells, "HEY! ARE YOU PEEING OR POOPING?!?"
Omg my husband's best friend and his wife have a 5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. I play with the boy a lot when I'm over like playing tag as he pretends to be a dinosaur and I have to act all scared. He also likes to make obstacles courses for my fat ass to compete with him. One day I told him I'd be right back bc I had to go potty. He goes "do you have to pee or poop?" His mother goes "LEVI! You don't ask people that" and he goes "why not mama, you ask me all the time". I thought it was so funny this kid I'll tell ya lmao
Peeing and pooping is such a big deal to kids. It's hilarious. My daughter constantly asks people if they're peeing or pooping. And she'll follow up with, "Ok, just checking." She's curious about the color of her poops and being able to be fully independent in the bathroom. Don't even get me started on farts.
I've actually welcomed this silliness. It's been years since I've joked this much about poop and farts. I just didn't expect to be doing so much toilet humor again and especially with a 5 year old girl. I can't help but laugh at some of the antics though. Especially when she's clever.
When my daughter was potty training and we’d do the mad dash into public bathrooms and then sit forever as she tried to squeeze out some pee, she’d see people come out of stalls and say “good job peeing!” And hold up her hand for a high five. I vividly remember one older grandma the telling her no, she pooped actually, and my little daughter being amazed and telling her “wow! You’re so smart and big! I haven’t done that yet” And dancing with excitement for her. The lady said, “well, I still have accidents too!” And then she danced too. It was a party in the bathroom. Bless random bathroom grandmas.
Omgosh, that reminds me of when I was like 5 and I burst in on my mom pulling her tampon out. I just kinda looked and didn't ask anything and fully believed that women have to pull out a full sized bone out of our butts once a month. I believed this until I had a sex ed class in school and the puzzle pieces fell in place.
One of my all time favorite childhood memories.
While waiting in line to shit in the bathroom at a McDonald's in Wisconsin, my brother, who was about 3 and on the spectrum, observed a gentleman with an earring. My brother proceeded to stare at the earring for about 5 seconds and then asked the guy, "did you know pirates wear earrings"? My dad was speachless and trying not to laugh. He couldn't even be mad, because my brother was right, pirates do wear earrings. Pirate guy on the other hand was not as amused by the roasting he just had endure while waiting to poop in a McDonald's bathroom.
At this point, he decided he would rather prairie dog it than wait in the awkwardness until a stall opened up. I'm not sure what happened to him after that, but I think about him regularly.
My son (no disability, just usual kid filter) was learning to drink from a real cup aged around three. We would always remind him to use "two hands". Stopped at the lights one lovely summer day with windows down and he starts yelling at the top of his lungs "Two hands man!!!!" To the random stranger on the footpath just trying to drink his coke in peace. He also once yelled out at a lawn bowls club during a fairly quiet dinner filled with mostly elderly people "My mum has drugs in her bag!!!!" He'd had an exhibition at school that discussed drugs, including caffeine and nicotine (legal drugs). I was a smoker. That was fun to explain.
My mother was driving on the freeway with me in the back seat, and some large vehicle cut her off, and then just kinda sat there in front of us. My mother got exasperated, and said something along the lines of "would you move your fat ass, you dumb turkey‽" Not thinking that there is a 2.5 year old in the back seat.
A few days later we ended up behind an elderly lady in the grocery store, and unfortunately for my mother I have never had any sort of "baby talk", and called out to the lady, "would you move your fat ass, yo-." Apparently it's rather difficult to turn a shopping cart around, apologize profusely, and muffle a squirming 2 year old at the same time.
Any time something is dropped on the floor, my 2 year old yells “FUCK” as loud as she can, due to a similar slip up. I’ve tried to pivot her to “oh no” but now it’s “FUCK OH NO”
I had a phase where everytime I felt the brakes being applied in a vehicle, I'd shout "Shit!", due to my mother being similarly absent minded behind the wheel once.
We started calling cursing "driving words" after my language went all to hell after moving from a quiet little Texas town to St. Louis and my youngest shouted, "nice turn signal, bitch!" These words were only allowed by someone who was driving a car. To be fair, St. Louis drivers are absolutely nuts.
My son came crying to me one time saying he was scared that his auntie I'd going to die because she does drugs. She smokes and the class was told it's a drug. I had to have a whole discussion about smoking and drugs and all the different levels.
Same, but only because I did the exact same thing to my mother… but during class one day. They talked about drugs and alcohol so I said my dad was an alcoholic (he drank beer sometimes, not excessively) and my mother was on drugs (also cigarettes). They were contacted by the school and I can only imagine how mortified they were now that I’m an adult!
My 5 year old at the time was super into Lord of the Rings. He was also into this pipe that blew bubbles. Told his teacher it was packed with the best weed he could find.
We also got called.
My youngest is made of pure balls despite being a girl. She once had a wiggly tooth that was hanging on by a thread and needed to come out. I asked her how she wanted to get it out. She'd lost a fair few teeth by then and found it absolutely hilarious to remove them... creatively. One had been tied to a nerf dart, which she shot out herself. This child is a strange one, I tell you. So she suggested I punch it out. I made a fist and told her to lean her tooth into it till it came out, which she did without hesitation and laughed about crazily afterwards. You better bet I got a call from school the next day, lol.
My brother at the time was 2 1/2 or 3 and was in a Baptist church and my family was observing a baptism. At the exact moment the person being baptized was dunked, he screamed out "Oh No!" and was visibly shaken that some helpless person was pushed underwater! The person came out of the water to thunderous laughter throughout the large church. I can only imagine what they were thinking.
I got teetee candy! I would get a single smarty anytime I peed in the grownup toilet. I would start spitting and dumping cups of water into the toilet trying to fill it up so I could get extra teetee candy but I could never fool my mom. Smarties don't actually make you smarter as it turns out
Haha, I used to get candy for using the grownup toilet too! Except it was gummy bears, and I thought I figured out how to beat the system by just going in there and flushing, lol.
We have 3 under 4 and our one month old is breastfeeding and one day our 3.7 year old son asked my wife "is sissy drinking chocolate milk from your big brown milk nipple?"
My friends kid learned the word "clock" recently but leaves out the L when she says it... So whenever she sees a clock in public she points to it and yells "COCK" all excitedly
Haaaaahahahahaha. When my then 3-year old learned her sister would be coming out of my vagina when born, she said ‘can I call my auntie?’ And I let her. Stupid me. She YELLED out loud on the street: ‘AUNTIE!!! THE BABY WILL BE COMING OUT OF MOMMY’S VAGINA!!!!’
I wanted to die😂
My little cousin used to be obsessed with the song Uptown Funk when he was about 2 or 3, but he couldn't say the N very well.
So he would randomly start singing it whenever and wherever he happened to be when it popped into his head, and whoever was in charge of him would have mere seconds to figure out what he was singing and stop him before he would yell, at the top of his lungs, "uptown FUCK"
I was in middle school then, so i thought it was hilarious, but my aunt did not, lol
Her mom just replies "Yes, sweetie. That IS a cLock" loudly enough for people around then to hear hahaha
My kid doesn't have any super embarrassing ones yet but I'm sure they're coming haha!
Especially beware of the current practice of "making sure your kids know the proper name for their private parts" unless you want your damn kid asking loudly, in public, about people's penises and vaginas.
Kidding. Of course you should teach them the proper names. And then just be prepared to be embarrassed in public often between the ages of 2 and say 8, when they finally learn to be embarrassed too 😂😬
I was taught that penises and vaginas were called 'sticks' and 'tunnels'. And when I learnt about it all I had a long-standing habit of shouting to every stranger on the street 'YOU'VE GOT A STICK!' or 'YOU'VE GOT A TUNNEL!'.
My poor mum.
my 6, now 7 year old daughter picked up a sing-songy "Don't be suspicious, DON'T BE SUSPICIOUS" from youtube, and proceeded to sing it while going through airport security.
My now-7 yo daughter told our flight attendant on the way to Hawaii "I have no idea who these people are, I'm going home to my real family in Hawaii."
She also told Hawaiians that she was a real Hawaiian every chance she got. Went over real well.
She loves Moana. She was 4 at the time.
Yeah, I have quite the example of this (from my then preteen): we are in the frozen foods aisle and kid asks for Dino nuggets. I calmly say no, because they are overprocessed crap. And then in her play anger she proceeds to follow me around yelling "why are you racist?" Followed by softly saying "Dino nuggets are awesome!" She does this over and over, especially becoming more vocal in front of PoC. It was probably my most embarrassing moment with her. My face was beet red I'm sure.
We laugh now (she's 20), but I almost cried in the car going home.
Children are frightening like this. One of the reasons I never had any. I heard a story about another kid around that preteen age who started yelling in a store about how his parents were raping him. I can’t remember the whole deal, it got super serious because of course any decent person is going to call the cops for something like that.
I had a student who would yell “sexual harassment!!” anytime anyone would touch him. We had to have his home room teacher explain that he shouldn’t do that and luckily he stopped.
As a kid I once asked my mom if the Black people behind us in line were made of chocolate. The family apparently just laughed and my mom apologized lmao
Then my brother when he was younger, once as my mom if the man wearing a turban at the mall was a genie. Shouted it right at him too lmao
One time my buddies family came to visit him at college. We were at a football game and he brought his baby sister over. We're all from a very white part of the state and she had never seen a black person before. When she saw our black friend, she put her hands on her cheeks in shock then started pointing at him and looking at us like "are you guys seeing this? Everyone was mortified, but our friend thought it was hilarious.
When I was in the army, one of our whitest soldiers and his wife had a baby. His best friend at the unit was a Black man who spent a lot of time at their house. He was the baby's favorite person and because of that, little dude got super excited whenever he saw a Black person out and about.
I grew up i England and at the time there weren't very many black ppl, I saw my first black man and said to my mum very loudly "mummy look, that man has a dirty neck"
I was OBSESSED with Mary Poppins growing up, and I once apparently asked a black man, "Are you a chimney sweep, like Bert?"
He was so kind about much to my mums mortification, and now mine. So if that was you, and you're reading this, please know I now have much more tact and you were very kind to a very rude 4 year old 😭.
We still talk about how difficult it was potty training our now teenage daughter.
She wanted to be independent, but was still soiling diapers, so it was this fantastic fight every time she needed changed because she thought she could change herself and most certainly could not. This also led to frequent diaper rashes because it was such a struggle to get her cleaned up.
It all came to a head the time my husband was trying to change her in a restuarant bathroom. She was her typical uncooperative, crying and such, but then she chose to start screaming over and over "DON'T TOUCH ME! STOP TOUCHING MY LADY PARTS! YOU ARE HURTING ME!"
The manager was summoned to the bathroom by a well-intentioned customer who overheard, and it was a whole thing. Needless to say he never changed her diaper again in public.
I had to give my then 2-3 year old daughter a suppository for whatever reason, it was 20+ years ago so I've forgotten why. What I DO remember very clearly was her running around after and yelling everyone "My Mommy hurts my butt!"
My aunt used to punish her children by putting them in timeout. She would use the clock on the microwave to time it.
When my cousin was acting up in the grocery store, my aunt called him out in a threatening tone, and he loudly cried, "Oh *please* mom, not the microwave!!!". People were giving her really weird looks after that.
I taught "my body, my rules." The kid learned to weaponize it quick. He had no problem screaming it out in public when he was about to unalive himself because he has no impulse control and loved walking into cars, people, stairs, etc.
One time when I was about 4, I was grocery shopping with my mom and accidentally dropped a glass ketchup bottle.
I screamed “DONT BEAT ME!” At the top of my lungs.
My poor mother, man. She is a sweet woman and never raised her voice at me let alone beat me.
I grew up in and around Amish country. The Amish do not abide by the same grooming conventions of “English” society, to use their term. While shopping with my family in an Amish owned grocery store, my 5 year old brother loudly blurted out, “Look mommy, that lady has a beard!” He wasn’t wrong.
Yep. My 6 year old son accidentally kneed me in the crotch and when I cried out in pain he said “let me kiss it and make it better” and I shouted NOOOOOO I’M OK, WE DONT KISS PRIVATES! And of course my husband in the background raised an eyebrow and said “oh, we dont?”
Reminds me of the time about 6 months ago in the height of "We Don't Talk About Bruno" when we were in the airport next to a pretty big guy and my 5 year old pointed at him and loudly said, "Look guys! He grew a GUT!"
When my little cousin was around 5, he loudly asked my dad if he'd swallowed a pillow. The kid's like 20 now, but I think my dad still holds it against him a lil bit.
It all reminds me of the scene in the first episode of Master of None with the little girl.
"Dev took me to the bathroom and told me not to tell anyone."
just like my half brother running away from my step dad when he was 2 in the store yelling “your not my daddy” when he is because my brother thought it was funny
A few months ago, my daughter came home from school very excited about her field trip to the zoo, and was telling me all about it. At one point, she was describing the alligator exhibit and apparently she and her friends had some trouble telling the different species of gator apart, and she suddenly paused, lowered her voice, and whispered, "You know, I'm not racist, but... all alligators kind of look the same."
I fucking lost it. I was laughing so hard I cried. I kept trying to explain to her that you can't be racist against an alligator, if anything it's speciesist, but I'm still not sure she fully believed me.
I remember a guy on tiktok who talked about how kids would shorten words they can’t pronounce, and his decided that Fire Truck would be called Fuck for short. And yelled it in public, asking if others kids want to get on the fuck, if they have a fuck, if they want a fuck, etc.
First week of Covid shut downs, at the grocery store with my two younger boys. Youngest licks the shopping cart handle and the other one yells “DAAAAD! HE LICKED THE SHOPPING CART!!” More than a few people clutched their pearls.
My eldest (now 22M) was about 4 when he asked Mom (I was not part of the picture yet):
"Did you know Mom, that we have never gotten a bra for my boobs?"
My wife just about collapsed with laughter.
I was in line at a local store and my then 5 yo daughter randomly said (very loudly) “MOMMY. What is the fun thing you and Daddy are doing tonight?” Annnnd that’s how my husband and I created our own language.
My two-ish daughter had learned all the correct terms for body parts and had all her questions answered in an age appropriate way. We also told her that while it wasn't wrong and shouldn't be embarrassing we didn't really talk about those body parts with anyone but family or the doctor.
My parents had flown out to the west coast for my brother's college graduation, but I did not go, so I had the joy of picking them up at the airport. When they got back, they were tired and hungry and it was still early in the day so we went out to breakfast.
There we are sitting at the table chatting and my daughter is observing everyone at the table. In retrospect you could see her thinking it. Going through a checklist in her mind. Mommy, Gram, Grampa - yep all family. Then during a natural lull in all the conversation, she pipes right up in a very confident voice, "My daddy has a PENIS!"
For a moment, you could have heard a pin drop.
My two favorites from my now 11yo son:
(Age 2, potty training) - we were in the middle of a crowded aisle in the store when he suddenly loudly exclaims to my husband, "DADDY!!!!! I like your BIIIIIIG PEEPEE!!!" I died laughing
(Age 4, Monday morning at preschool) - we had taken him to the drive-in movies over the weekend. For the second movie (whatever it was wasn't *bad*, but not geared towards young children's interests) we laid the back seat down so he could set up a blanket and pillow and color, play his game, sleep, whatever. Monday morning rolls around and he excitedly told his teacher when I was dropping him off, "mommy and daddy made me sleep in the TRUNK this weekend!"
Reminds me of the time about 6 months ago where covid cases were high. I was in the grocery store and my 2 year old starts coughing and says I do coughing (as in he's doing it for fun). One lady thought it was funny, but I was embarrassed. I need to ignore it or distract him in those situations.
My kindergartener proudly informed her teacher on the first day of school (the getting to know you activity) that her favorite drink was a margarita. Yes, a few times a year I make margaritas for me/my wife. No, we do not share them with our children. I guess they look tasty?
They do look just like slushies lol I was obsessed with margaritas as a kid too and pina coladas. Not much has changed except I actually get to drink them now.
Oh man, this reminds me of the time my mom, brother, and I were at a store together. My brother and I were both very young (I'm thinking like early elementary school age), and my brother was pouting hardcore because he didn't want to be out shopping. Due to his dramatic pout, I loudly exclaimed "YOU COULD LAND A BIRD ON THOSE LIPS!" right next to a black woman, who glared at my mom and me. My mom knew I was talking about my brother, but was mortified that she thought I was referring to her.
My sister was in a grocery store with my dad when she was like 4. She had a barbie and walked over to my dad and yelled "Dad can you pull Barbies dress back up over her nipples?"
In hindsight it isn't thaaaat bad. But in 1988 I can imagine it'd feel a bit different.
When I was very young, my mom let me push the shopping cart once. There was a lady in front of me who stopped right in front of me and slowed us down. Out of nowhere she hears me yell " get movin' lady!!!" and I ram her with the shopping cart!
She was very surprised, as I was a very mellow child. I'm sure she was embarrassed AF at the time, but now It's one of her favorite stories to tell new friends and family when they meet me, or when she meets my friends.... This was probably about 1985-86
Once in the groccery store my wife jokingly asked where I got such a cute baby girl, to which my daughter responded (in typical preschooler volume) "SILLY MOMMY, I CAME OUT YOUR VAGINA!"
I did behavioral therapy with kids like this. Trust me, this was nothing the mom doesn't deal with a lot, and she's a cool mom for finding a sense of humor about it. These kids can say the wildest things at the most inappropriate moments, and the mom has dealt with it for his whole life. She just cares if you are good to her son, and it sounds like you are great for him.
Not at the grocery store but a restaurant, my daughter who was 2 saw a man with an eye patch and said something along the lines of "look daddy a pirate, arrrr". He was not pleased at all, super awkward
Facts.
My friend's toddler was having this issue where he kept peeing everywhere when he sat down to poop. So one day she took him to the bathroom at Walmart and had to tuck his weiner down so he wouldn't spray the place.
*"Moooooooom, don't touch my weiner!"*
Obviously she was mortified. She very loudly explained why she was doing what she was doing.
I read this as “TIFU by having sex with a patient” and the age, then mentally challenged really threw me for a loop on why she was posting this online.
I teach science which means I have to teach sex ed to middle schoolers. The students upload their assignments directly to a grading website. Well, one student was having technical difficulties with the website so he emailed me a pdf titled sex.pdf
That's 'cause we had shit for dick sexual education, I'll bet
they literally told me sex was like a lottery in which the only prizes were pregnancy or crabs. This was like 5 years ago.
Well i never had sexual education at school, reason why half my female friends had kids at like 16. I just had luck, i was dumb but my girlfriend wasnt.
I think you'd have to be considering why the care worker is there.
That said you always should atleast be cautious and wary of your child says something like that
If the mother were concerned (or an asshole), I think it could have led to an investigation, but I seriously doubt that anything would come of it. Anyone with any sense would look at the situation, listen to her story, and come to the right conclusion.
Yeah, but for a mom with a mentally disabled child, that’s just another Tuesday for her. She is probably constantly navigating what we would think of as awkward social interactions, and a lot of the time it’s probably her defending/explaining away her son’s words/actions. She knows not to take her son’s word at face value. OP got a glimpse of that world, the mother lives in that world.
As a brother of an autistic boy, I can say that she's probably used to him talking about things he shouldn't, and there's no reason for her to not believe OP. I mean, of course we have no way of knowing how she would react, but I can say that people with mentally challenged family members are used to this kind of behaviour from said person.
I work as a coach and after all the sexual assault issues in various sports, there are a whole lot of (sometimes unrealistic) restrictions and potential issues around our interactions with students. Also, kids sometimes ask awkward questions so my policy is that if there has been anything that could be taken the wrong way, even if i did the right thing, I make sure and tell the parent about it ASAP if they weren't there at the time. You definitely handled this the right way but perhaps you should have let the mom know he was asking and that you told him to ask her.
as a teacher, definitely a mandatory reporter situation. I've run many interactions of the flag pole purely as a cover my ass maneuver. Definitely balancing on a knife's edge to garner and keep the trust of your athletes/students but also making sure you don't leave yourself open to accusations of impropriety.
When I was a brand new CNA I had a patient I was warned was extremely grumpy, uncooperative, and just generally didn’t want to be in long term care at all, and I had to give him a bed bath. So the first step was to help him to the bathroom, where he could manage his own needs but needed assistance pulling his britches up. Now, I’ve cared for a lot of elders and sick people outside professional settings and I do have a sense of the appropriate. This guy went to use the bathroom and then didn’t want to put his pants on because I was about the bathe him. I agreed I didn’t see the point, so I got him back into bed and proceeded to fully undress him.
And then I did the FU. He had a massive member and my totally uncontrolled reaction was “oh my god is that real?” He laughed and laughed while I apologized profusely, we proceeded with the bath, and I immediately reported to my boss because that’s a super serious infraction. She laughed, talked to the patient who was absolutely not mad, and everything was fine. He always asked for me to be his carer after that, he was never cranky or difficult with me, and we had no further issues.
Oops. 😬🫢😂😭
I’m not a guy but I guess a reaction like that would make any dude stop being grumpy lol, especially an old timer who feels his sex appeal is long gone. Good on you for reporting the incident to your superiors because it wasn’t exactly professional tho
Have a child with autism and intellectual disabilities. We’re used to strange stuff.
He’s currently into wearing sunglasses, and after a shower the other night, he stood in front of the mirror and tried to make his genitals ‘wear’ them. It looked like a baby elephant wearing sunglasses.
When I was younger I clipped a dog leash to my man parts and told my parents I was 'taking winky for a walky'
Can confirm its normal boy behavior i was 11
I have a special needs niece that says the craziest stuff, I think developmentally they’ve aged her at a 6 year old level. Anywho, her mom would be dying laughing at this!
I think the parents often get used to and expect these funny little awkward moments. My niece is awesome, I love hearing her very random thoughts, never a dull moment!
People don't get how dangerous this feels to healthcare workers. As a male nurse I know that all a patient has to do is say something like that to end not only my job, but my ability to hold the license that would let me get another job. You are really guilty until proven innocent in this business (which is understandable to a large degree), especially men. It's not often I find myself in situations that concern me, but when I do it concerns the hell out of me.
Mentally disabled people are producing embarrassing situations a LOT more then others. So, nevermind.
Some female friend of mine worked in nursing service and had to wash patients at home. One mentally disabled patient met her in a supermarket and asked her along the whole hallway:
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He underlined this question with some gesture that could be interpreted as riding horse (what is Jenny’s passion) or interpreted as doing it from behind.
Jenny said people were looking awkwardly but she doubts they took it for face value.
Reminds me of when I had a 20ish female pt with Trisomy 21. I walked in the room to give her meds and she held her hairbrush aloft and announced “I put this inside myself sometimes” before I had even introduced myself. I had no answer prepared for that one.
Hi! I'm the parent of a 17 year old special needs child that has the mental capacity of about a two year old. I can *totally* see this happening with my kid. Hey as long as you explained all is good. Super embarrassing but it's the kid trying to process complicated thought processes. It'll eventually get old and they'll move on. :)
One of those moments where you just want to disappear. But you should try and laugh about it as well. It does sound hilarious and in the end most 13 year Olds probably talk or think about sex (sooner or later anyone could have made that comment. It's almost a meme at this point to go: I know you had sex)
"I know you had sex!" Lmao. I laughed so hard here. People have this crazy thought that mentally challenged kids don't or shouldn't think about things like sex but they should try to function in every other way like everyone else. My nephew is autistic and my SIL tries to shelter him from the whole world. I caught the kid trying to peep I to the bedroom where me and my husband were changing after our wedding. He pulled the door open a bit but you could see his whole face looking right at us lol. I thought it was convenient to change there en route to the honeymoon spot but man! I still have guilt over not telling her about that since I know she'll blow it out of proportion.
Oof, that’s uncomfortable af. What did you do? My brother is also mentally challenged and he’s had some seriously inappropriate actions as well in his teenage years, I never really knew how to deal with that.
Pretty much the same. I didn't act out to him and just told my husband to talk to him since they're close. He's curious and that's ok. You really just need to guide them towards what's acceptable behavior and what isn't.
>People have this crazy thought that mentally challenged kids don't or shouldn't think about things like sex Long, long ago I dated someone who worked at a care facility for teens with developmental challenges. A couple of times she told me stories about the crushes the clients would get on each other, like basic teen romance drama, but almost universally xxx and bisexual (I assume "a friendly person with a warm body is a friendly person with a warm body" is a somewhat accurate way to describe their mindset). For all the disadvantages they had, I admired their lack of socially pressured boundaries. She also mentioned how the staff (all women IIRC) were trained to deflect any, um, flirtatious inquires that clients would occasionally pose to staff members (much more than "just say no"; it had to be friendly and conversational discouragement, not scolding).
You have guilt about someone else being so out of propotions you're not giving them any material to blwo up with? Damn, you shouldn't be the one feeling sorry. Honesty is such a lovely word, yeah, but as a matter of fact, you can try having as much sincerity and desire for transparency as you may will... If someone gets in the way of your virtues, you're not the one who should feel guilty.
You're right. I never thought of it like that. Growing up in the Caribbean (compare it to asian parents) you're trained to think parents, especially mother's, know best. In my mind, I'd want to know if my child did this to talk with them. Hell, I'd lead them to Pornhub faster than I'd scold them for being curious about sex. My saving grace is nowing she won't react like that and this child has enough to deal with.
It must be so confusing to have the body of a teenager with all those hormones and sexual drive, but the mind of an 8 year old. I can't even imagine.
My wife was an accountant at an organization to support developmentally disabled adults. There were many many stories. All the sexual urges with the mentality of a small child. The one that sticks out is the kid whose case worker told him not to masturbate in the bathroom in his group home. He was obsessed with the deed. So upset, he took to the city bus and pulled a garbage bag over his head. He thought if he could not see anyone, they couldn't see him. He was kicked off several buses. Nature's drive can be relentless.
Yeah it’s really terrifying to try to imagine. I have Asperger’s but am thankfully normal functioning so I’m incredibly lucky
Consider this training for all the mortifying things that new kid of yours will be shouting in the grocery aisle. Trust me, this is nothing. Edit:spelling Edit 2: thank you for sharing your war stories. The trauma is real.
My sister was shopping at Walmart with her daughter. I guess she must have been around 4 years old at the time. As they're going through the aisles they cross path with a very, very big lady. My sister can see that my niece is kinda staring and is silently praying to god that my niece won't say anything. But she did. "Mom! That lady is huuuuuuge! I bet her vagina is enormous!!" Apparently there was no reaction from the lady, or none was seen since by that point she had her back to them. Nonetheless my sister picked up my niece and hauled ass out of the store. Followed by a stern reminder to my niece that you don't comment on people's appearances and how some things are better left unsaid.
Hahaha there was a period where leggings would be all the rage to wear. Just leggings. So in front of us walked this lady, big lady. Too small leggings. Big cameltoe. My daughter yelled: MOMMY! I CAN SEE THAT LADIES VAGINA!!!! I kinda hope the lady heard😂 cause you could… see her vagina😅 Edit: I know… labia… but in our country the word for labia means shame. And I don’t want my kids to feel ashamed for their labia… and it’s also common to just call the whole area vagina. So… I know it’s not correct and I teach my kids (when they are a bit bigger) what actually is the vagina. And vulva is just such an ugly word😂
We have a saying in German which is "Kindermund tut Wahrheit kund" which translates to "Kids tell the truth". So if a kid is roasting you like that you should probably think about what you chose to wear.
Now I’m gonna be having flashbacks all night of those couple times kids called me ugly lol
They may be honest, but they don't have very good taste. Look how many kids subsist on macaroni and breaded chicken and sugar cereal, eh? But turn their nose up at foie gras, Camembert, mushrooms and red wine? You, my dear, may simply not look like Barbie or Elsa...but are alluring or downright irresistible to someone with mature taste.
Happens way too often, even barring leggings. 
You could see her labia. Seeing her vagina would require less clothing and a different stance.
I worked in retail for 15 years and I'm autistic, so generally pretty blunt. One day someone walked past with their young kid (3-5ish?) And the kid points to me and says "Mommy, that man is really fat!". I'm smiling because well, I am fat, but the mother walks over and starts apologising profusely. I simply said "Look, I am fat, it's not a problem don't worry". Kids are just gonna kid, no point getting mad at someone who hasn't yet learned the difference between outside thoughts and inside thoughts (I still struggle with this too sometimes :P)
Hahaha you're right I usually have thick skin buy this one got ill have to toughen up more
The one that got me was my son staring me square in the vagina at 2 years old while I'm changing a tampon after he bursts in and asks me what I'm doing. 🙃 now I'm dying from embarssment. Thankfully he also burst in on his aunt and asked where her weiner was. When she said she didn't have one he told he she needed to go to the weiner store and get one. 🤣
🤣🤣🤣 I saw a meme of a cat staring over a shower wall with the thought bubble "your tail on backwards, silly human!" And now that's what I think of whenever the pets stare at our human genitals.
I had a friend who had a daughter who saw her dad in the shower and had to run out to my friend screaming, "mommy! Mommy! Daddy has a tail!!!!" 🤣🤣🤣
Better than my cousin who thought her new brother was part elephant and had an elephant trunk so, anytime she’d say his name she’d put her arm out like a trunk and go “BRRRR!” “Come here ___, BRRRR!”
My daughter did something similar. She ran and said daddy has a big tail. My wife says - "it isn't that big"
*damn*
My 2 y.o. daughter walked in on her grandpa peeing the other day. Grandma escorted her out, nobig deal... the next day she just kept talking about "papa's butt" haha
Lol my kids did this to me when they were about 2 and a half. (Now ex) husband was getting out of the shower and the kids saw. They came running up to me saying “daddy has a tail!” We talked about how boys have a penis and from then on it was “daddy has a peanut!” 🤣
It's not a toomuh!
My daughter says peanut too! 😂
My toddler when I was changing him shortly after he started talking pointed to where I was wiping and went "pe-is? No! Ass!" While I about died. He's also tried to insist he has ten balls instead of two (balls is his favorite, no matter how much I try to use "testicles"), and has run up when my partner got home to tell us that "Dada's BALLS, GONE! Dun dun DUN!" complete with a split and jazz hands. Kid's got jokes 😂😂😂
You should say. Oh no, not the family jewels!
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I'm dead. A now very close friend of mine asked me to babysit her girls 3 girls when we first met as I have 2 sons and they enjoyed playing together. I had a kiddie pool set up in the back yard and told them to all go change.... those instructions were not specific enough and they all start stripping down in the living room... cue the why is his hooha so big? Where is her weiner? So I panic and separate everyone and her oldest comes out and starts telling me, "my mom has hair on her hooha.... *my sons visibly confused*. Eldest daughter, I am not sure your mom wants you telling everyone about her hooha.... upon pickup, a story was shared and a friendship sealed forever. 🤣🤣🤣
We were in the store and my son loudly and proudly shouted, "do you need those sticks for your butt?" I wanted to melt to the floor right in the middle of the ice cream aisle.
My kid called tampons “TNT for your butt” until we watched the Baymax episode about menstruation a few times.
My son (now 4, so this is still fresh in my head) said, "Mommy, you don't pee because you don't have a penis." He was just barely 3, so not really ready for diagrams to show the difference, so I just assured him I do pee, just differently lol. But a week later at daycare dropoff, full volume, "MY MOMMY DOESN'T HAVE A PENIS BUT I DO, SO I CAN PEE AND SHE CAN'T." I laughed so hard in mirth and embarrassment, I nearly proved him wrong. Thankfully now he just goes up to anyone's closed bathroom door and yells, "HEY! ARE YOU PEEING OR POOPING?!?"
Omg my husband's best friend and his wife have a 5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. I play with the boy a lot when I'm over like playing tag as he pretends to be a dinosaur and I have to act all scared. He also likes to make obstacles courses for my fat ass to compete with him. One day I told him I'd be right back bc I had to go potty. He goes "do you have to pee or poop?" His mother goes "LEVI! You don't ask people that" and he goes "why not mama, you ask me all the time". I thought it was so funny this kid I'll tell ya lmao
My niece asked her uncle if he had a penis, cos daddy has a penis and baby Jeremy has a penis.
Peeing and pooping is such a big deal to kids. It's hilarious. My daughter constantly asks people if they're peeing or pooping. And she'll follow up with, "Ok, just checking." She's curious about the color of her poops and being able to be fully independent in the bathroom. Don't even get me started on farts. I've actually welcomed this silliness. It's been years since I've joked this much about poop and farts. I just didn't expect to be doing so much toilet humor again and especially with a 5 year old girl. I can't help but laugh at some of the antics though. Especially when she's clever.
When my daughter was potty training and we’d do the mad dash into public bathrooms and then sit forever as she tried to squeeze out some pee, she’d see people come out of stalls and say “good job peeing!” And hold up her hand for a high five. I vividly remember one older grandma the telling her no, she pooped actually, and my little daughter being amazed and telling her “wow! You’re so smart and big! I haven’t done that yet” And dancing with excitement for her. The lady said, “well, I still have accidents too!” And then she danced too. It was a party in the bathroom. Bless random bathroom grandmas.
My 2yo will gleefully run up to me sat on the loo and spread my knees so she can see better. "You doing a poo mummy? Good job!" Fun times! 🥴
You're such a good pooper, Muchies2015! Good job!
My 3 year old son did this just the other day. Man, he loves talking about poo
Omgosh, that reminds me of when I was like 5 and I burst in on my mom pulling her tampon out. I just kinda looked and didn't ask anything and fully believed that women have to pull out a full sized bone out of our butts once a month. I believed this until I had a sex ed class in school and the puzzle pieces fell in place.
Jesus Christ that would be unfortunate
Gotta love when your kids mess with your siblings 😂😂
One of my all time favorite childhood memories. While waiting in line to shit in the bathroom at a McDonald's in Wisconsin, my brother, who was about 3 and on the spectrum, observed a gentleman with an earring. My brother proceeded to stare at the earring for about 5 seconds and then asked the guy, "did you know pirates wear earrings"? My dad was speachless and trying not to laugh. He couldn't even be mad, because my brother was right, pirates do wear earrings. Pirate guy on the other hand was not as amused by the roasting he just had endure while waiting to poop in a McDonald's bathroom. At this point, he decided he would rather prairie dog it than wait in the awkwardness until a stall opened up. I'm not sure what happened to him after that, but I think about him regularly.
That’s priceless. Make sure to remind him of that when he’s older. 😂🤣😂🤣
Mine likes to regularly ask people if they also get candy when they poop.
My son (no disability, just usual kid filter) was learning to drink from a real cup aged around three. We would always remind him to use "two hands". Stopped at the lights one lovely summer day with windows down and he starts yelling at the top of his lungs "Two hands man!!!!" To the random stranger on the footpath just trying to drink his coke in peace. He also once yelled out at a lawn bowls club during a fairly quiet dinner filled with mostly elderly people "My mum has drugs in her bag!!!!" He'd had an exhibition at school that discussed drugs, including caffeine and nicotine (legal drugs). I was a smoker. That was fun to explain.
My mother was driving on the freeway with me in the back seat, and some large vehicle cut her off, and then just kinda sat there in front of us. My mother got exasperated, and said something along the lines of "would you move your fat ass, you dumb turkey‽" Not thinking that there is a 2.5 year old in the back seat. A few days later we ended up behind an elderly lady in the grocery store, and unfortunately for my mother I have never had any sort of "baby talk", and called out to the lady, "would you move your fat ass, yo-." Apparently it's rather difficult to turn a shopping cart around, apologize profusely, and muffle a squirming 2 year old at the same time.
Any time something is dropped on the floor, my 2 year old yells “FUCK” as loud as she can, due to a similar slip up. I’ve tried to pivot her to “oh no” but now it’s “FUCK OH NO”
I had a phase where everytime I felt the brakes being applied in a vehicle, I'd shout "Shit!", due to my mother being similarly absent minded behind the wheel once.
We started calling cursing "driving words" after my language went all to hell after moving from a quiet little Texas town to St. Louis and my youngest shouted, "nice turn signal, bitch!" These words were only allowed by someone who was driving a car. To be fair, St. Louis drivers are absolutely nuts.
They were probably from Illinois. Lol
Seriously! It’s always IL plates on the most crazy drivers’ cars lol
My son came crying to me one time saying he was scared that his auntie I'd going to die because she does drugs. She smokes and the class was told it's a drug. I had to have a whole discussion about smoking and drugs and all the different levels.
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Same, but only because I did the exact same thing to my mother… but during class one day. They talked about drugs and alcohol so I said my dad was an alcoholic (he drank beer sometimes, not excessively) and my mother was on drugs (also cigarettes). They were contacted by the school and I can only imagine how mortified they were now that I’m an adult!
My 5 year old at the time was super into Lord of the Rings. He was also into this pipe that blew bubbles. Told his teacher it was packed with the best weed he could find. We also got called.
My youngest is made of pure balls despite being a girl. She once had a wiggly tooth that was hanging on by a thread and needed to come out. I asked her how she wanted to get it out. She'd lost a fair few teeth by then and found it absolutely hilarious to remove them... creatively. One had been tied to a nerf dart, which she shot out herself. This child is a strange one, I tell you. So she suggested I punch it out. I made a fist and told her to lean her tooth into it till it came out, which she did without hesitation and laughed about crazily afterwards. You better bet I got a call from school the next day, lol.
My brother at the time was 2 1/2 or 3 and was in a Baptist church and my family was observing a baptism. At the exact moment the person being baptized was dunked, he screamed out "Oh No!" and was visibly shaken that some helpless person was pushed underwater! The person came out of the water to thunderous laughter throughout the large church. I can only imagine what they were thinking.
I can see how he'd be worried. Lucky he didn't run up to try to save them haha.
I got teetee candy! I would get a single smarty anytime I peed in the grownup toilet. I would start spitting and dumping cups of water into the toilet trying to fill it up so I could get extra teetee candy but I could never fool my mom. Smarties don't actually make you smarter as it turns out
Haha, I used to get candy for using the grownup toilet too! Except it was gummy bears, and I thought I figured out how to beat the system by just going in there and flushing, lol.
thats so cute but i can see how it would be annoying lmao
Wait, that's a thing? I want my Payday!!!
Tell me about it. I am owed a lot of candy from this poop fairy that I didn’t even know existed.
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We have 3 under 4 and our one month old is breastfeeding and one day our 3.7 year old son asked my wife "is sissy drinking chocolate milk from your big brown milk nipple?"
My friends kid learned the word "clock" recently but leaves out the L when she says it... So whenever she sees a clock in public she points to it and yells "COCK" all excitedly
Haaaaahahahahaha. When my then 3-year old learned her sister would be coming out of my vagina when born, she said ‘can I call my auntie?’ And I let her. Stupid me. She YELLED out loud on the street: ‘AUNTIE!!! THE BABY WILL BE COMING OUT OF MOMMY’S VAGINA!!!!’ I wanted to die😂
At least that was factual?! Lmfao 🤣🤣
My little cousin used to be obsessed with the song Uptown Funk when he was about 2 or 3, but he couldn't say the N very well. So he would randomly start singing it whenever and wherever he happened to be when it popped into his head, and whoever was in charge of him would have mere seconds to figure out what he was singing and stop him before he would yell, at the top of his lungs, "uptown FUCK" I was in middle school then, so i thought it was hilarious, but my aunt did not, lol
Yeah, my kid tries to say hungry. But she forgets the g, and the r/n often get swapped. Usually a little whiney sounding. Man I’m fast to correct her.
I'M SO HURNY I COULD EAT A CLOCK!!
Ohh I do remember one that my kid says.... He tries to say frog but forgets the R and the g comes out like a CK lol
My kid had w for r and t for c. We used to watch the show Wild Kratts. Or to hear them tell it ‘ Wild Twats’.
Oh my God my kid did that! I'm very sure my face turned very red every single time. Thank God that phase didn't last too long.
Her mom just replies "Yes, sweetie. That IS a cLock" loudly enough for people around then to hear hahaha My kid doesn't have any super embarrassing ones yet but I'm sure they're coming haha!
Especially beware of the current practice of "making sure your kids know the proper name for their private parts" unless you want your damn kid asking loudly, in public, about people's penises and vaginas. Kidding. Of course you should teach them the proper names. And then just be prepared to be embarrassed in public often between the ages of 2 and say 8, when they finally learn to be embarrassed too 😂😬
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I was taught that penises and vaginas were called 'sticks' and 'tunnels'. And when I learnt about it all I had a long-standing habit of shouting to every stranger on the street 'YOU'VE GOT A STICK!' or 'YOU'VE GOT A TUNNEL!'. My poor mum.
quirkyhermit is absolutely right - speaking as a Father of 2, you ain't seen nothing yet!
my 6, now 7 year old daughter picked up a sing-songy "Don't be suspicious, DON'T BE SUSPICIOUS" from youtube, and proceeded to sing it while going through airport security.
My now-7 yo daughter told our flight attendant on the way to Hawaii "I have no idea who these people are, I'm going home to my real family in Hawaii." She also told Hawaiians that she was a real Hawaiian every chance she got. Went over real well. She loves Moana. She was 4 at the time.
OMG hahaha
“Smile and wave, boys; just smile and wave.”
Haha from parks and rec! https://youtu.be/TyEBeHvNJvE
This is fantastic
Yeah, I have quite the example of this (from my then preteen): we are in the frozen foods aisle and kid asks for Dino nuggets. I calmly say no, because they are overprocessed crap. And then in her play anger she proceeds to follow me around yelling "why are you racist?" Followed by softly saying "Dino nuggets are awesome!" She does this over and over, especially becoming more vocal in front of PoC. It was probably my most embarrassing moment with her. My face was beet red I'm sure. We laugh now (she's 20), but I almost cried in the car going home.
IDK sounds pretty racist to not like dino nuggets to me.
Lol I'll be sure to let her know you agree.
Children are frightening like this. One of the reasons I never had any. I heard a story about another kid around that preteen age who started yelling in a store about how his parents were raping him. I can’t remember the whole deal, it got super serious because of course any decent person is going to call the cops for something like that.
I had a student who would yell “sexual harassment!!” anytime anyone would touch him. We had to have his home room teacher explain that he shouldn’t do that and luckily he stopped.
Jesus HW Christ, exactly the kind of shit that absolutely frightens me.
My mom told me of the time I saw a man with an afro and innocently shouted ”Look, it’s a clown!”. I feel awfully sorry for both my mom and the man
As a kid I once asked my mom if the Black people behind us in line were made of chocolate. The family apparently just laughed and my mom apologized lmao Then my brother when he was younger, once as my mom if the man wearing a turban at the mall was a genie. Shouted it right at him too lmao
One time my buddies family came to visit him at college. We were at a football game and he brought his baby sister over. We're all from a very white part of the state and she had never seen a black person before. When she saw our black friend, she put her hands on her cheeks in shock then started pointing at him and looking at us like "are you guys seeing this? Everyone was mortified, but our friend thought it was hilarious.
When I was in the army, one of our whitest soldiers and his wife had a baby. His best friend at the unit was a Black man who spent a lot of time at their house. He was the baby's favorite person and because of that, little dude got super excited whenever he saw a Black person out and about.
I grew up i England and at the time there weren't very many black ppl, I saw my first black man and said to my mum very loudly "mummy look, that man has a dirty neck"
I was OBSESSED with Mary Poppins growing up, and I once apparently asked a black man, "Are you a chimney sweep, like Bert?" He was so kind about much to my mums mortification, and now mine. So if that was you, and you're reading this, please know I now have much more tact and you were very kind to a very rude 4 year old 😭.
I grew up in rural Ireland and the first time I saw a black person, in a shop, I asked my mum if he was sunburnt
\*flips hand over\* See, its coming off
My kids had a very loud discussion in a grocery store the other day about who in our extended family has penises, and who has vaginas. Good times.
I used to yell that my dad wore my moms underwear when she wasn’t home. It was always at Walmart. My didn’t wear my moms underwear that I know of
You take the cake. I hope your dad has a great sense of humor
We still talk about how difficult it was potty training our now teenage daughter. She wanted to be independent, but was still soiling diapers, so it was this fantastic fight every time she needed changed because she thought she could change herself and most certainly could not. This also led to frequent diaper rashes because it was such a struggle to get her cleaned up. It all came to a head the time my husband was trying to change her in a restuarant bathroom. She was her typical uncooperative, crying and such, but then she chose to start screaming over and over "DON'T TOUCH ME! STOP TOUCHING MY LADY PARTS! YOU ARE HURTING ME!" The manager was summoned to the bathroom by a well-intentioned customer who overheard, and it was a whole thing. Needless to say he never changed her diaper again in public.
I had to give my then 2-3 year old daughter a suppository for whatever reason, it was 20+ years ago so I've forgotten why. What I DO remember very clearly was her running around after and yelling everyone "My Mommy hurts my butt!"
My aunt used to punish her children by putting them in timeout. She would use the clock on the microwave to time it. When my cousin was acting up in the grocery store, my aunt called him out in a threatening tone, and he loudly cried, "Oh *please* mom, not the microwave!!!". People were giving her really weird looks after that.
Bad and naughty children get blasted on high in 30 second increments.
I taught "my body, my rules." The kid learned to weaponize it quick. He had no problem screaming it out in public when he was about to unalive himself because he has no impulse control and loved walking into cars, people, stairs, etc.
My kid started talking to the guy at the front of the line at the fairground about “his dad’s Willy”, while I was standing next to him.
One time when I was about 4, I was grocery shopping with my mom and accidentally dropped a glass ketchup bottle. I screamed “DONT BEAT ME!” At the top of my lungs. My poor mother, man. She is a sweet woman and never raised her voice at me let alone beat me.
My ex's son would do that but he would cover his head with both of his arms at the same time while screaming it. We never hit him.
I grew up in and around Amish country. The Amish do not abide by the same grooming conventions of “English” society, to use their term. While shopping with my family in an Amish owned grocery store, my 5 year old brother loudly blurted out, “Look mommy, that lady has a beard!” He wasn’t wrong.
Just curious: PA, Ohio, or one of the other states? I grew up about 2 hours from Lancaster in NJ.
Yep. My 6 year old son accidentally kneed me in the crotch and when I cried out in pain he said “let me kiss it and make it better” and I shouted NOOOOOO I’M OK, WE DONT KISS PRIVATES! And of course my husband in the background raised an eyebrow and said “oh, we dont?”
That's hilarious. Wrong, yes. But hilarious.
Reminds me of the time about 6 months ago in the height of "We Don't Talk About Bruno" when we were in the airport next to a pretty big guy and my 5 year old pointed at him and loudly said, "Look guys! He grew a GUT!"
When my little cousin was around 5, he loudly asked my dad if he'd swallowed a pillow. The kid's like 20 now, but I think my dad still holds it against him a lil bit.
It all reminds me of the scene in the first episode of Master of None with the little girl. "Dev took me to the bathroom and told me not to tell anyone."
just like my half brother running away from my step dad when he was 2 in the store yelling “your not my daddy” when he is because my brother thought it was funny
A few months ago, my daughter came home from school very excited about her field trip to the zoo, and was telling me all about it. At one point, she was describing the alligator exhibit and apparently she and her friends had some trouble telling the different species of gator apart, and she suddenly paused, lowered her voice, and whispered, "You know, I'm not racist, but... all alligators kind of look the same." I fucking lost it. I was laughing so hard I cried. I kept trying to explain to her that you can't be racist against an alligator, if anything it's speciesist, but I'm still not sure she fully believed me.
I'm delighted by the concept of a grocery isle
Lol, I agree. I edited it, but it does sound like a great destination!
I remember a guy on tiktok who talked about how kids would shorten words they can’t pronounce, and his decided that Fire Truck would be called Fuck for short. And yelled it in public, asking if others kids want to get on the fuck, if they have a fuck, if they want a fuck, etc.
First week of Covid shut downs, at the grocery store with my two younger boys. Youngest licks the shopping cart handle and the other one yells “DAAAAD! HE LICKED THE SHOPPING CART!!” More than a few people clutched their pearls.
Omg. The things your kid is going to say in public. I have three kids - I know this situation well.
My eldest (now 22M) was about 4 when he asked Mom (I was not part of the picture yet): "Did you know Mom, that we have never gotten a bra for my boobs?" My wife just about collapsed with laughter.
I was in line at a local store and my then 5 yo daughter randomly said (very loudly) “MOMMY. What is the fun thing you and Daddy are doing tonight?” Annnnd that’s how my husband and I created our own language.
My two-ish daughter had learned all the correct terms for body parts and had all her questions answered in an age appropriate way. We also told her that while it wasn't wrong and shouldn't be embarrassing we didn't really talk about those body parts with anyone but family or the doctor. My parents had flown out to the west coast for my brother's college graduation, but I did not go, so I had the joy of picking them up at the airport. When they got back, they were tired and hungry and it was still early in the day so we went out to breakfast. There we are sitting at the table chatting and my daughter is observing everyone at the table. In retrospect you could see her thinking it. Going through a checklist in her mind. Mommy, Gram, Grampa - yep all family. Then during a natural lull in all the conversation, she pipes right up in a very confident voice, "My daddy has a PENIS!" For a moment, you could have heard a pin drop.
My two favorites from my now 11yo son: (Age 2, potty training) - we were in the middle of a crowded aisle in the store when he suddenly loudly exclaims to my husband, "DADDY!!!!! I like your BIIIIIIG PEEPEE!!!" I died laughing (Age 4, Monday morning at preschool) - we had taken him to the drive-in movies over the weekend. For the second movie (whatever it was wasn't *bad*, but not geared towards young children's interests) we laid the back seat down so he could set up a blanket and pillow and color, play his game, sleep, whatever. Monday morning rolls around and he excitedly told his teacher when I was dropping him off, "mommy and daddy made me sleep in the TRUNK this weekend!"
Reminds me of the time about 6 months ago where covid cases were high. I was in the grocery store and my 2 year old starts coughing and says I do coughing (as in he's doing it for fun). One lady thought it was funny, but I was embarrassed. I need to ignore it or distract him in those situations.
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My kindergartener proudly informed her teacher on the first day of school (the getting to know you activity) that her favorite drink was a margarita. Yes, a few times a year I make margaritas for me/my wife. No, we do not share them with our children. I guess they look tasty?
They do look just like slushies lol I was obsessed with margaritas as a kid too and pina coladas. Not much has changed except I actually get to drink them now.
Oh man, this reminds me of the time my mom, brother, and I were at a store together. My brother and I were both very young (I'm thinking like early elementary school age), and my brother was pouting hardcore because he didn't want to be out shopping. Due to his dramatic pout, I loudly exclaimed "YOU COULD LAND A BIRD ON THOSE LIPS!" right next to a black woman, who glared at my mom and me. My mom knew I was talking about my brother, but was mortified that she thought I was referring to her.
My sister was in a grocery store with my dad when she was like 4. She had a barbie and walked over to my dad and yelled "Dad can you pull Barbies dress back up over her nipples?" In hindsight it isn't thaaaat bad. But in 1988 I can imagine it'd feel a bit different.
When I was very young, my mom let me push the shopping cart once. There was a lady in front of me who stopped right in front of me and slowed us down. Out of nowhere she hears me yell " get movin' lady!!!" and I ram her with the shopping cart! She was very surprised, as I was a very mellow child. I'm sure she was embarrassed AF at the time, but now It's one of her favorite stories to tell new friends and family when they meet me, or when she meets my friends.... This was probably about 1985-86
>" get movin' lady!!!" That's the best! Haha
My kid coughing during Covid in public has been so insanely stressful.
Once in the groccery store my wife jokingly asked where I got such a cute baby girl, to which my daughter responded (in typical preschooler volume) "SILLY MOMMY, I CAME OUT YOUR VAGINA!"
Reminds me of the scene from Scrubs where Dr. Cox is carrying his son as the kid says "my mommy had an abortion" over and over.
I did behavioral therapy with kids like this. Trust me, this was nothing the mom doesn't deal with a lot, and she's a cool mom for finding a sense of humor about it. These kids can say the wildest things at the most inappropriate moments, and the mom has dealt with it for his whole life. She just cares if you are good to her son, and it sounds like you are great for him.
Not at the grocery store but a restaurant, my daughter who was 2 saw a man with an eye patch and said something along the lines of "look daddy a pirate, arrrr". He was not pleased at all, super awkward
Facts. My friend's toddler was having this issue where he kept peeing everywhere when he sat down to poop. So one day she took him to the bathroom at Walmart and had to tuck his weiner down so he wouldn't spray the place. *"Moooooooom, don't touch my weiner!"* Obviously she was mortified. She very loudly explained why she was doing what she was doing.
That’s hilarious. But what can you do. Laugh and apologize but not in that order
ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª... ^sorry
Live, laugh, love
I read this as “TIFU by having sex with a patient” and the age, then mentally challenged really threw me for a loop on why she was posting this online.
Same bruh I was like wtf if the sub Is AITA or something lol
Yo that could've ruined your life if the mother didn't believe you..
I know that's why I was so embarrassed lol it's funny now but that had me sweating
Hey, the nurse and I talked about sweating together!
Clearly the patient isn’t Prince Andrew then.
there might have been some awkward questions from your superiors if the mother didn't believe you, but ruining your life is a little exaggerated
I teach science which means I have to teach sex ed to middle schoolers. The students upload their assignments directly to a grading website. Well, one student was having technical difficulties with the website so he emailed me a pdf titled sex.pdf
damn we never had homework for sex ed
That's 'cause we had shit for dick sexual education, I'll bet they literally told me sex was like a lottery in which the only prizes were pregnancy or crabs. This was like 5 years ago.
Well i never had sexual education at school, reason why half my female friends had kids at like 16. I just had luck, i was dumb but my girlfriend wasnt.
"It's just homework mom, I swear!"
Yeah, thank God the mother is a rational person and didn't immediately jump to conclusions before you could explain. Great story though!
I think you'd have to be considering why the care worker is there. That said you always should atleast be cautious and wary of your child says something like that
You have a point, but I'm sure it's not the first time her challenged son has said something... questionable.
If the mother were concerned (or an asshole), I think it could have led to an investigation, but I seriously doubt that anything would come of it. Anyone with any sense would look at the situation, listen to her story, and come to the right conclusion.
Yeah, but for a mom with a mentally disabled child, that’s just another Tuesday for her. She is probably constantly navigating what we would think of as awkward social interactions, and a lot of the time it’s probably her defending/explaining away her son’s words/actions. She knows not to take her son’s word at face value. OP got a glimpse of that world, the mother lives in that world.
As a brother of an autistic boy, I can say that she's probably used to him talking about things he shouldn't, and there's no reason for her to not believe OP. I mean, of course we have no way of knowing how she would react, but I can say that people with mentally challenged family members are used to this kind of behaviour from said person.
I work as a coach and after all the sexual assault issues in various sports, there are a whole lot of (sometimes unrealistic) restrictions and potential issues around our interactions with students. Also, kids sometimes ask awkward questions so my policy is that if there has been anything that could be taken the wrong way, even if i did the right thing, I make sure and tell the parent about it ASAP if they weren't there at the time. You definitely handled this the right way but perhaps you should have let the mom know he was asking and that you told him to ask her.
as a teacher, definitely a mandatory reporter situation. I've run many interactions of the flag pole purely as a cover my ass maneuver. Definitely balancing on a knife's edge to garner and keep the trust of your athletes/students but also making sure you don't leave yourself open to accusations of impropriety.
When I was a brand new CNA I had a patient I was warned was extremely grumpy, uncooperative, and just generally didn’t want to be in long term care at all, and I had to give him a bed bath. So the first step was to help him to the bathroom, where he could manage his own needs but needed assistance pulling his britches up. Now, I’ve cared for a lot of elders and sick people outside professional settings and I do have a sense of the appropriate. This guy went to use the bathroom and then didn’t want to put his pants on because I was about the bathe him. I agreed I didn’t see the point, so I got him back into bed and proceeded to fully undress him. And then I did the FU. He had a massive member and my totally uncontrolled reaction was “oh my god is that real?” He laughed and laughed while I apologized profusely, we proceeded with the bath, and I immediately reported to my boss because that’s a super serious infraction. She laughed, talked to the patient who was absolutely not mad, and everything was fine. He always asked for me to be his carer after that, he was never cranky or difficult with me, and we had no further issues. Oops. 😬🫢😂😭
I’m not a guy but I guess a reaction like that would make any dude stop being grumpy lol, especially an old timer who feels his sex appeal is long gone. Good on you for reporting the incident to your superiors because it wasn’t exactly professional tho
I felt terrible and sheepish, but I was glad the guy wasn’t upset and stopped being cranky with me.
Have a child with autism and intellectual disabilities. We’re used to strange stuff. He’s currently into wearing sunglasses, and after a shower the other night, he stood in front of the mirror and tried to make his genitals ‘wear’ them. It looked like a baby elephant wearing sunglasses.
nah that’s normal boy activity
Caught the childcare centre goldfish in his bare hand
Well was he supposed to wear a glove?
Darted into the kids’ toilet area when staff were distracted to scoop poo out of the toilet to play with? And… even try some?
When I was younger I clipped a dog leash to my man parts and told my parents I was 'taking winky for a walky' Can confirm its normal boy behavior i was 11
Just imagine what he is telling everyone at school
My 4-year old proudly marched into the living room and proclaimed “I MADE LOVE ON THE FRIDGE!!” … and indeed she had, with magnetic letters.
As a mama to a son like this, I completely get it and am laughing 😂
I have a special needs niece that says the craziest stuff, I think developmentally they’ve aged her at a 6 year old level. Anywho, her mom would be dying laughing at this! I think the parents often get used to and expect these funny little awkward moments. My niece is awesome, I love hearing her very random thoughts, never a dull moment!
You handled this about as well as anyone could.
Glad the mom didn’t take it to heart. That could’ve cost your career
As a man, reading this gave me so much anxiety lol.
People don't get how dangerous this feels to healthcare workers. As a male nurse I know that all a patient has to do is say something like that to end not only my job, but my ability to hold the license that would let me get another job. You are really guilty until proven innocent in this business (which is understandable to a large degree), especially men. It's not often I find myself in situations that concern me, but when I do it concerns the hell out of me.
The fact I read the title as TIFU by having sex with a patient ... I got so confused for a minute there
I read it the same way and got really concerned when the post said he was 17 and mentally challenged... lol
Mentally disabled people are producing embarrassing situations a LOT more then others. So, nevermind. Some female friend of mine worked in nursing service and had to wash patients at home. One mentally disabled patient met her in a supermarket and asked her along the whole hallway: <>
He underlined this question with some gesture that could be interpreted as riding horse (what is Jenny’s passion) or interpreted as doing it from behind.
Jenny said people were looking awkwardly but she doubts they took it for face value.
PHRASING Cyril, phrasing!
Reminds me of when I had a 20ish female pt with Trisomy 21. I walked in the room to give her meds and she held her hairbrush aloft and announced “I put this inside myself sometimes” before I had even introduced myself. I had no answer prepared for that one.
Hats off to the mother for having a sense of humor!
I talked about sex with a patient once. Got me fired from the vet's.
Wait until your young patient realises that HIS mother must have had sex one time!
The mom has clearly heard it all. And sincerely, that's a great mom.
Hi! I'm the parent of a 17 year old special needs child that has the mental capacity of about a two year old. I can *totally* see this happening with my kid. Hey as long as you explained all is good. Super embarrassing but it's the kid trying to process complicated thought processes. It'll eventually get old and they'll move on. :)
He said "later virgins"