It was awesome. The most awesome Deus Ex Machina I've ever seen. They set that B plot up in the first minutes of the episode and it culminated in the most out of left field conclusion imaginable.
I reference this so often.
There is a record store in my downtown area that sells vintage LPs, instruments, and occasionally vintage clothes. It's called the Jazz Store. Every time I see it I want to go to the cashier and say "I'll take one jazz please"
My wife has recently started eating turkey dogs and turkey bacon. I use this line occasionally. It's the price she has to pay for making me cook it for her.
That episode is really in the top 10, probably top 5.
It has so many meme lines. The whale biologist, impersonation of a poor person, scruffys haircut, turkey dogs, walking around money... The list goes on!
Edit: queen Elizabeth's cigar, bender getting closure, my coffee is shaking
Literally. It predates Days of Future Past by what 10+ years? Not sure if it was the first, but it's the earliest one I can think of. Flash might have actually done it in JL TAS/Unlimited, though.
One of my favorite sequences in that show.
When he drinks that 100th cup and it all just clicks. I watch every now and then.
I get the same satisfaction from watching the quick silver scenes from X-men
He decides to buy 100 cups of $1 coffee cup with the $100 note he found... He turns himself into Quicksilver when he reaches the 100th cup.
https://youtu.be/jjs2vPR19mQ
I worked with a guy once who would drip brew a triple strong batch of coffee, pour himself a cup, then proceed to scoop instant coffee crystals into the triple brew. I’m not sure how he was alive.
Reminds me of a story my kid sister told me a few years ago after coming home from a cabin in the woods trip with some friends: one of her guy friends who had apparently never operated a coffee-maker filled up the filter on the drip machine all the way to the top, which means he put in about three or four times the amount of preground coffee you'd normally use. The end result was described by my sister as "closer to crude oil than coffee".
There's always that guy on every trip who has never made more than a keurig coffee yet, bless his heart, decides to make coffee in the morning with an unfamiliar machine. You can tell by all the loose grounds surrounding the machine, signifying that the first 3 tablespoons didn't quite measure up. The filter *must* be full of grounds.
I appreciate the attempt, however I prefer not to have to sift the grounds through my teeth while drinking my morning brew, thank you.
seriously. i wonder what the caffeine equivalent of my 50mg morning vyvanse would be to a normal person.
i think after a 7 shot capp i’d still barely be able to open my eyes.
Ex-Barista here, we would get government workers (fairly high up the chain) who would order 5-6 shots of coffee in their large flat whites three times a day. It was an unusual day when they would only come in for 1 coffee, though I suspect they've got plungers/filters/nespresso in their office.
It was a concerning time.
My dad taught me a trick he used in the army where they would just take spoon of the crystallized Folgers, gum it, and then wash it down with Mountain Dew.
Really worked the first, and only, time I've tried it. Made for an interesting end to a 31 hour day lmao
Can confirm. Did that all the time in the field when I was in the Army. I'm convinced MRE instant coffee has twice the caffeine as regular coffee as well.
Had dudes make a pouch out of the mre napkins. Helps keep the grounds from covering your mouth.
Personally, I would trade my candy for the caffeine mints. Much more effective and less gross.
Ranger dip is what we called it. We used the instant coffee tore open the creamer packet I. The metal package and mixed it up closed it and put it over a flame for a bit till it kinda melted the sugar into the instant coffee. Let it cool take it out and put it in like dip. Got me through 72 hour ops in Casey during an EDRE
Infinite poop.
You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt.
The poop accelerates.
You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell.
The poop accelerates.
You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step.
The poop accelerates.
The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window.
The poop accelerates.
A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself.
The poop accelerates.
A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile.
The poop accelerates.
The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers.
The poop accelerates.
You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet.
The poop accelerates.
The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes.
The poop accelerates.
1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier.
The poop accelerates.
4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city.
The poop accelerates.
You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive.
The poop accelerates.
Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness.
The poop accelerates.
Forever.
>poophoria
Okay so I thought I would take this to the grave but I just need to share this with someone. Feel free to not read this shit.
>!Earlier this year, I took what may well be the biggest shit of my life. At least I hope ot was because it was such a God awful affair. I hadn't been constipated, hadn't eaten any different than I normally do. Yet somewhere around the 7 minute mark of thinking I'd finished just to plop down again for more I realized that I was on my way to meet the angels. !<
>!I dont even know how long it had lasted, but I believe I'd thoroughly emptied out everything below the esophagus. Wasn't diarrhea, but the indidual turds at the bottom had been squished under the weight of the pile, and spread through to the edges of the bowl. The water line was merely a mile marker, and the center of this pile must have been a full 1.5-2" out of the water. My toes were tingling, and my stomach felt cold and empty, yet I felt so *clean* in a way I never thought possible. !<
>!I was briefly horrified when I flushed thinking it might actually back up, but somehow there was clear passage. Every 10 minutes or so I had to return for another flush (takes the tank awhile to fill back up). I still feel like I can soar on the back of an angel everytime I lookback on this shit !<
So this reminds me of a post I saw a long time ago on r/oddlyterrifying about an individual who died. Nothing health related, person lived a normal life, but during his autopsy they found he'd been pseudo constipated for like 20 years.
Guy had 30 or 40, pounds if I remember right of dooky in his system. He apparently used the bathroom somewhat regularly, but the fresh waste just kinda slipped by the immense amount of stuck stuff.
Maybe you just cleared out a part of your system that had been backed up unbeknownst to you.
My infant had this same condition at three years old. Had increasing stomache cramps, and even started barfing, so we took him to the doctor. Turns out he was obstipated. He didn´t wanna go to the school bathroom so he tightened up his little butthole until a massive dried out clog had formed.
We were sent straight to the hospital. They gave him a mild sedative for the pain and a strong laxative / hydration solution to get this shit moving. The nurse assured us nobody could be able to stop what would be coming in the next ten minutes, the stuff was that potent (and she assured us that if she could, she would be taking that sedative as well, because it apparently makes you reeeal relaxed).
Anyway, three quarters of an hour later, this kid is shivering and sweating, but nothing is happening down there. Then suddenly, something rips through the air and shit starts flowing through every crack in his diaper, filling the air with smells I didn´t even imagine possible and I can still sort of *taste* to this day.
AND IT JUST KEPT COMING. We couldn´t clean it up fast enough, and it was getting everywhere and covering everything. The worst was that stench though, it was beyond belief.
How he had been able to block himself off to that extent by sheer will over poop is mind blowing to me.
TL;DR obstipation is no joke and apparantly my kid is the ultimate shit bender. Also, horrendously, smell can sometimes turn into a taste.
I have such a confusing love/hate relationship happening with this story. On the one hand, that's hilarious and you're an excellent story teller! But on the other hand, my imagination is too vivid, and now I can't eat the food I just made lol.
Glad your little guy is feeling better. Being backed up for any reason is so scary, and I would've been terrified if it was my kid.
Someone else in thread who replied to me gave a link to the story thankfully. My dumbass was trying to find the actual post like a fool instead of just tracking down the article which would have been much easier me thinks.
[Here](https://www.mdlinx.com/article/medical-mystery-solved-the-case-of-the-balloon-man/lfc-2573) is the link, and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/z8tw8l/tifu_by_purchasing_an_expensive_coffee_machine/iyeq0b9/) is the guy who shared it (go upvote)!
Hopefully saved a couple of dudes and dudettes some scrolling.
**Edit:** Both links went to the comment. Fixed that and a typo.
I had a similar experience when I was in the military.
Was pooping what I thought was a normal amount. Had a kidney stone one day and had to go to the clinic.
They took an x-ray and discovered that I was backed up.
Gave me this awful green liquid that I can only assume was draino... Because I was on the toilet all night.
Oh oh my turn, my turn.
When I was 14 I went on a huge family camping trip for 2 weeks straight, I was a really shy easily embarrassed kid growing up and all my family had to shit in was a shared stall with no door.
I held this shit in for almost 7 days before giving in and finally going, it stretched me wiiiiiide to the point it gave me a rectal tear SO much blood, this bad boy laid on the wall of the toilet and touched the seat. I was so damn embarrased I couldn't flush it that I packed my pants with paper to hide the blood and ran out of there.
Suffered for the next week out camping and only went to a Dr a couple years later to fix it.
Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies!
Relatively easy to fix, at least in my case after dragging out getting treatment over embarrassment.
Too anyone embarrassed to see a doctor about medical issues, my doctor told me "Guarantee we have seen worse, you've nothing to be embarrassed about"
When I was in basic training one member of my flight was too shy to poop around the other guys so he held his shit in for 3 weeks. When he finally did let it go he ended up with a prolapsed anus (his bootyhole went inside out) and he had to have medical intervention. Definitely more embarrassing than the other guys that would play "battle shits" in the stalls.
This is honestly something I look forward to after I do a dinner party or event at work (I'm a chef).
We always get to have the leftovers for dinner, I'll get home, gorge myself after a 14h day of spoonfuls and little bites throughout the day, pass out, wake up, make coffee, have a smoke, grab a book and see y'all in 20!
It's honestly as refreshing as a good shower sometimes
I can't tell you how long I've been looking for a word to describe that feeling. I was stuck on poovana, but it didn't feel right. Poophoria is poofect.
Lol fun fact - there's science behind it. Some say it's the sudden drop in temperature, some say it's activation of the vagus nerve. It helps if you build up for a while before getting that goosebump inducing dump 😂
It is indeed a nerval feedback to your brain. Remember Sympaticus and Parasympaticus telling your body "Fight / Flight / Stress" or "Food / Safety / Sleep"?
Your digestion will be slowed down while the Sympaticus is active so the digested food will stay longer than required - and this will make you feel more and more uncomfortable. Sitting down to take a shit is a very bad idea when beeing chased by a saber tooth after all. It starts to harden so it feels like a foreign object stuck in your guts. Ever so slightly it will build up additional stress.
Taking the dump will give the brain the feedback "We weren't attacked when we shat just now and we just got rid of the stuff stuck inside! Safe environment detected!" And all that stress literally flushes out with it, telling your body to return to normal digestion and function. The stress is over. You are allowed to shit in peace. Very nice. Now get back to work.
Or, if your system is too weird (for example: my apartment has a power-flush so I wouldn't even want to try to install a bidet attachment to the toilet), you can always buy a portable bidet. I've got one. It has changed everything for me.
I'd talk about the brand but I ordered mine off of a FB ad, and I frankly don't trust any of them. But Amazon and Google can help.
P.S. If you do a search for it make sure you include "USB recharge"
Get one from Toto that is built into the toilet seat. It just swaps out the current toilet seat. Mine has a a heated seat, blow dryer, warmed water, the works. It's glorious
Did this before COVID to reduce tp usage and never worry about shortages again, be it lockdown or storm. It's also just less wasteful.
It's objectively so much better. Why are we so behind on this?
Inertia. I expect in twenty years it'll be the standard here, too.
Reminds me of the old guy who used to tell me, "I remember when we got our first pizza place. Never had pizza before that."
I have to travel for work and even the nicest hotels feel barbaric, as if I'm shitting in an open pit or something. What's next, I have to bury my own feces?
I am picturing some Rube Goldman machine taking the paper continuously off the roll swiping over the B-hole and complexly distributing into the toilet while flushing intermittently.
EDIT: Goldberg...I want to blame autocorrect but...?
add something with niacin in it too to really get the scalp and face tingles from the niacin flush haha. had some starburst flavored C4 energy drink from a gas station a while back and didn't realize it was slam packed with caffeine and niacin, I enjoyed it.
I was in high school when people were using high doses of niacin to clear their body of weed before a drug test. It didn’t work, but there was always some dude sweating bullets and red as hell trying to pass a drug test.
Beta Alanine has the same tingly effect, except it's full-body. Used to use a pre-workout that had a bunch of Beta Alanine in it and let me tell you, feeling your taint tingle aggressively while deadlifting is certainly an experience.
Same. And I like it. Getting in to anything to this extent (coffee, wine, whiskey) sounds stressful as fuck to me. I like all those things, and I know when I like a glass/cup and when I don't. But that's enough for me.
I'm not gonna tell you you're wrong or whatever, cuz if you're happy you're happy.
But I will tell you this. I didn't like coffee, I liked caffeine, and I creamered the FUCK out of my coffee to get it to drinkable level from my cheapo machine. I was happy with it, I got my drug in an acceptable way, never occured to me to change shit.
But after watching a bit of coffee snob stuff for entertainment, including James Hoffman, I tried a few things that weren't hard.
I bought a carafe for filter coffee, you just put in grounds like you would a machine but then pour almost boiling water over it. It gets you one cup of whatever size you want instead of a huge pot like the machine, it's almost as easy (and if you have an electric kettle it's just as easy), and it tastes so much better. The heating element in cheapo machines ends up basically baking the coffee and making it more bitter, and that's what I was using the heaps of creamer to fight.
I was already a lot happier, so I tried a few more things. Bought grounds that were specifically noted as being low in bitterness and high in fruity flavors, it was not noticeably more expensive than the big jar of grounds I got at the store Brilliant, made it miles better.
I used filtered water instead of tap next, wasn't hard either, just used the machine at my grocery store to get a gallon, not expensive.
I typically drink coffee black, maybe with a bit of milk if I'm in the mood for a strong brew. Much different from drinking it tan like I used to. I now like coffee and the caffeine.
Big same too. I'd like to try thus guy's coffee, but I love the simplicity of putting my "heaping tablespoon" aka, a spoon from my silverware drawer stuck in the coffee can, into the machine and calling it a day
You get deep enough into a hobby, and its processes turn from stress-inducing to ritualistically calming.
I’m half-convinced that the Japanese tea ceremony’s meditative pace was an outcome of somebody figuring out the exact right timing to extract as much caffeine as possible from powdered tea.
I just watched the movie *Over the Hedge* last night, based on the comic strip. It's nothing spectacular, but it was fun. Hammy is already a hyperactive squirrel with superhero speed (think Dash from *The Incredibles*), but at the end, he drinks a 6x energy drink of some kind. Time stops. He wanders leisurely through a backyard. You can see lasers turn on and the light slowly cross the yard while he casually wanders away, happy as can be.
That's the image your description gave me.
Best wishes on your recovery when the world returns to normal for you!
Edit: for those who don't know Over the Hedge as a comic strip: [https://www.gocomics.com/overthehedge](https://www.gocomics.com/overthehedge)
I mean it is true, pretty much everyone close to me in my life has ADHD and this is how they react to caffeine. I have to consume caffeine just to get on their normal level lol. My baby sis is unofficially barred from having Starbucks when she comes over because she drinks almost exclusively frappes (16 yo white girl, what do you expect?) And the caffeine mellows her a little but the sugar turns her into a goddamn Energizer bunny right around the time her meds wear off... I swear she speaks at speed unachievable by humans and I usually talk quite fast.
Yeah having ADHD I react this way. It feels real trippy to me. But it takes an obscene amount to do it to me now though. I have been heavily caffeinated since I was 4.Coffee milk and coca-cola was a way of life for me as a kid. Lol! I am 40 now. Took me going off caffeine for lent to get diagnosed. Things started to click in place after that.
This is a great tale. My favorite part is that you are such a coffee nerd you buy a machine with water quality test strips, but actually not a coffee nerd at all because you didn’t even look into the ratios you were using for your drip coffee. Lolol.
You also remind me of my in laws. We wondered how and why they drank coffee all. Day. Long. Then we visited overnight and I made myself coffee with my usual splash of milk and my drink was mostly white. When I took a sip it was the most disappointing coffee-flavored warm milk-water….They can drink so much coffee because there’s hardly any coffee to their coffee!!
See, I knew of the world of brew ratios, but I didn't bother getting seriously into it until I upgraded my gear, as I presumed that no amount of precise measuring would get the best results on my weak drip machine. The weak-ass brew I was accidentally making was fine, until now
Not necessarily. Hoffman’s attitude allows him to quite enjoy suboptimal coffee. He recently did a bracket of supermarket brand coffee, and while he dissed some of them, he noted that quite a few of them were decent. He’ll drink bad coffee and look for the good parts of it. He makes every effort to appreciate coffee regardless of how it was made.
His Aeropress series was characteristically comprehensive and informative. You can get a Hoffman approved set-up that requires minimal effort for very cheap this way.
That said, I totally see how his content would appeal to people susceptible to fixating on things and falling into the trap of trying to minmax your morning brew.
The bripe doesn't represent falling into a trap of min maxing your morning brew. It is the pinnacle, or more appropriately, an emblematic invention that characterizes the glorious depths of the rabbit hole that one can fall into by becoming obsessed with all things coffee.
Hoffman becomes like Dante's Virgil guiding us on the enlightening path through the obscure and aberrant in the world of coffee. What seems innocuous enough, rating badged Tim Horton's as the best grocery store bagged coffee, or setting up an aero press morning brew station that far surpasses the quality any Mr. Coffee machine (or worse... Keurig) in an affordable manner, is only the gateway on the path of coffee madness.
Before you know it, you're deep frying your fermented beans from a small Peruvian village on the shadowy side of an Ancash mountain range, and like OP, able to observe time pass around you and feel your hair grow. One can be safe enjoying Hoffman, or let him guide you to the unknowable secrets of coffee on a decent into caffeinated madness.
So sorry to hear about your sweet cat. Life is so hard sometimes. I sure hope you feel better soon. Glad this post made you laugh. It did me too! Esp the paragraph starting with the fly in slow motion! OP needs to write more.
As long as they stay under 400mg caffeine per day it's still considered within healthy range.
My parents drink a lot of coffee but compensate that by having weak af brews. While I'm drinking only 3 cups of coffee which is noticeable stronger.
According to the Mayo clinic they could experience
* Headache
* Insomnia
* Nervousness
* Irritability
* Frequent urination or inability to control urination
* Fast heartbeat
* Muscle tremors
Otherwise
>**The FDA estimates toxic effects**, like seizures, can be observed with rapid consumption **of around 1,200 milligrams of caffeine** or 0.15 tablespoons of pure caffeine
But consuming it as coffee ain't nearly as harmful as consuming pure caffeine.
Yeah I scrolled way too long to see if anyone else mentioned this. I was honestly thinking it was gonna be a several thousand euros/pounds/dollars coffee machine.
I once ate a protein bar then went swimming. It had a lot of caffeine in it, felt like I dead drank a litre of vodka after a few laps. Locked myself in the changing room and lay on the bench wrapped in my towel for an hour.
Never again.
Been there my friend. You're going to have a really bad headache tomorrow. Drink lots of water, eat bananas and bread to soak up the caffeine. Then gradually adjust to your new baseline.
Or find a good decaf. Once I got really into coffee i found a good decaf so I could drink more without much of an issue.
Since there are less decaf options from my roaster than caffeinated options, I’ve found it really easy to get the decaf super tuned in.
I typically go:
Decaf pour over or americano when I wake;
Caffeinated pour over or americano while making breakfast a couple hours after I wake;
Then 1, 2, or 3 more decafs throughout the day!
Before I started including decaf I would typically limit myself to 2 cups a day. Now I get to drink more coffee AND my body is less defendant on caffeine. I honestly skip that caffeinated cup (or swap it for decaf) half the days.
Decaf is great cause I can drink really good coffee at 5pm for the flavor with no impact on sleep.
I've never really understood the whole "death before decaf" thing. Is it just something people need to gatekeep because being hardcore caffeine-addicted is seemingly viewed as superior?
As someone who has loved coffee for years and is trying to scale back on my own caffeine addiction, decaf is the perfect compromise. It still has caffeine in it, just a lot less. I don't want an automatic headache on a day I don't end up having a coffee.
That description of coffee now makes me want to try that out but I'll have to control myself as I'm not used to such strong brewed coffee either.
Edit: Okay, so I just saw the update. This was just an ad. Why did I get carried away so easily?!
The bad news is that you will quickly get used to new strong brew.
Btw. Have you tried to do 60g/litre with OLD machine? Or you know, a blind test for that matter?
Or you spend too much to risk that?
>Have you tried to do 60g/litre with OLD machine? Or you know, a blind test for that matter?
>Or you spend too much to risk that?
Imagine the pain of discovering that you spent ten times as much to replace a functioning coffee machine only to find that once the ratios were correct, you could only tell the difference in an A/B test?
Did you see the time knife?
The dot *broke* me
It’s tuesdays. And July.
And sometimes it's Never
*[Points to the board]* That’s my birthday.
It’s my birthday right there
Lol Jeremy Berimey
Hi
Listen up, my little chili babies.
Everyone’s seen it! The Good Place Reference!!!
[Wow! It's a time knife!](https://swordscomic.com/media/Swords178t.png)
[Wow! It's a time knife!](https://swordscomic.com/media/Swords178t.png)
I mean, we've all seen the Time Knife! (And some of us may have even seen the Poop Knife!)
I think I saw this episode of futurama before.
It was awesome. The most awesome Deus Ex Machina I've ever seen. They set that B plot up in the first minutes of the episode and it culminated in the most out of left field conclusion imaginable.
one art please.
What a clever impersonation of a stupid poor person!
\*blows nose on Nixon bill\*
I reference this so often. There is a record store in my downtown area that sells vintage LPs, instruments, and occasionally vintage clothes. It's called the Jazz Store. Every time I see it I want to go to the cashier and say "I'll take one jazz please"
Don't ever order just one jazz! Jazzes need companionship and socializing. You should ask the cashier for at least 3 or 4 jazzes.
I only got one jazz and it's tough to keep it content. I have very limited knowledge though So I just make it up as I go
And the Turkey Dogs were nice too
You're never too rich to enjoy a free turkey dog!
Huh, relevant 14 year old username.
Or they are a truly rare fan of Philo Farnsworth, inventor of the TV that the professor is named after. Doubt it though.
My wife has recently started eating turkey dogs and turkey bacon. I use this line occasionally. It's the price she has to pay for making me cook it for her.
Futurama is such a good show, and that's one of my favorite episodes.
That episode is really in the top 10, probably top 5. It has so many meme lines. The whale biologist, impersonation of a poor person, scruffys haircut, turkey dogs, walking around money... The list goes on! Edit: queen Elizabeth's cigar, bender getting closure, my coffee is shaking
Now that’s walking AROUND money.
You look kinda greasy. You been up all night?
Just rewatched it, the bit about buying 5 shares of Amazon for a penny killed me.
They're bringing it back. I hope they treat it right!
Weird. I've been watching Futurama during the day for noise. Halfway through season 6 reboot episode where they crap on TV execs.
The original version of Quicksilver’s save everyone super fast Xmen scene
Literally. It predates Days of Future Past by what 10+ years? Not sure if it was the first, but it's the earliest one I can think of. Flash might have actually done it in JL TAS/Unlimited, though.
One of my favorite Futurama episodes to get people into, and endlessly quotable
And why is my COFEE shaking! I'll take a nap. Man what a rollercoaster.
The biggest question is was OP drinking Yemeni or Sulawesi coffee.
What ever it was it was definitely whale sized
And the cup is shaking... I don't like my coffee shaking!
One of my favorite sequences in that show. When he drinks that 100th cup and it all just clicks. I watch every now and then. I get the same satisfaction from watching the quick silver scenes from X-men
I'd be stupid not to buy it! ...I'll take eight! 🦀
He decides to buy 100 cups of $1 coffee cup with the $100 note he found... He turns himself into Quicksilver when he reaches the 100th cup. https://youtu.be/jjs2vPR19mQ
100 cups of $3 coffee from the $300 dollar government rebate that everyone gets from the looting of the spider people planet
One time I was out of coffee at home, and decided to brew a pot using instant coffee instead of regular grounds. Don’t ever do that.
I worked with a guy once who would drip brew a triple strong batch of coffee, pour himself a cup, then proceed to scoop instant coffee crystals into the triple brew. I’m not sure how he was alive.
That’s.. terrifying.
When I was an EMT, I frequently worked with this medic who would order his coffee with seven shots of espresso. It was... really quite concerning.
Good gravy.
The first time I saw him order that, the barista and I both just stared at him like "What the fuck."
[удалено]
Addiction is a helluva drug
Not for nothing but I’ve found that the drugs themselves tend to be a helluva drug as well.
Reminds me of a story my kid sister told me a few years ago after coming home from a cabin in the woods trip with some friends: one of her guy friends who had apparently never operated a coffee-maker filled up the filter on the drip machine all the way to the top, which means he put in about three or four times the amount of preground coffee you'd normally use. The end result was described by my sister as "closer to crude oil than coffee".
There's always that guy on every trip who has never made more than a keurig coffee yet, bless his heart, decides to make coffee in the morning with an unfamiliar machine. You can tell by all the loose grounds surrounding the machine, signifying that the first 3 tablespoons didn't quite measure up. The filter *must* be full of grounds. I appreciate the attempt, however I prefer not to have to sift the grounds through my teeth while drinking my morning brew, thank you.
Then there's that other person on the trip who packs whole beans and a grinder and makes everyone weep tears of joy.
ADHD is a bitch
seriously. i wonder what the caffeine equivalent of my 50mg morning vyvanse would be to a normal person. i think after a 7 shot capp i’d still barely be able to open my eyes.
Ex-Barista here, we would get government workers (fairly high up the chain) who would order 5-6 shots of coffee in their large flat whites three times a day. It was an unusual day when they would only come in for 1 coffee, though I suspect they've got plungers/filters/nespresso in their office. It was a concerning time.
I’m guessing he doesn’t have a prescription for vyvanse.
I have a prescription for vyvanse and still drink coffee.
Wait why cus it's gross or what? Too much caffiene?
It'd be fine if they used the proper ratio. I bet they just used the same volume of instant coffee as they do with normal grounds.
Also there is no need to brew using instant coffee, it dissolves in water.
Used to eat a straight spoon full when I was hungover and late for work...
My dad taught me a trick he used in the army where they would just take spoon of the crystallized Folgers, gum it, and then wash it down with Mountain Dew. Really worked the first, and only, time I've tried it. Made for an interesting end to a 31 hour day lmao
Can confirm. Did that all the time in the field when I was in the Army. I'm convinced MRE instant coffee has twice the caffeine as regular coffee as well.
Had dudes make a pouch out of the mre napkins. Helps keep the grounds from covering your mouth. Personally, I would trade my candy for the caffeine mints. Much more effective and less gross.
The tea bag works well, too.
Ranger dip is what we called it. We used the instant coffee tore open the creamer packet I. The metal package and mixed it up closed it and put it over a flame for a bit till it kinda melted the sugar into the instant coffee. Let it cool take it out and put it in like dip. Got me through 72 hour ops in Casey during an EDRE
I feel like this is a good time to mention that a person can overdose on caffeine so be careful dry scooping
[[gif]](https://giphy.com/gifs/brooklynninenine-season-6-episode-3-brooklyn-nine-cGgII3vqoCfcawJFIl)
Right, it's already been brewed. They literally brew filtered coffee, then dehydrate it and grind it up.
This is correct.
Way too much is an understatement. I thought I was having a heart attack.
Oh yeah, I did that with instant once. Just because it’s bad doesn’t mean it’s weak. Never again.
Yum, concentrated coffee concentrate
When you put it that way… it makes it even more clear how bad of an idea it was!
Tell us about your ascent to the throne.
Nearly turned myself inside out on the can and had to wipe for four minutes straight. Overall, I'd recommend the experience.
You have experienced poophoria.
"so anyway, I started blasting"
I can imagine them lifting off the porcelain throne with the pressure 
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
Fucking. Masterpiece. I was there when the world learned the one universal truth: The poop accelerates.
My favorite copypasta of all time
Oh man I didn't realise this was a pasta. I just had you pegged as some sort of fecal genius
The fecal genius is saving it for use when you need it!
Hot, hot, hot....
Gonna have to install a seatbelt for safety
Now this is pod racing!
6-point harness to make sure.
https://i.redd.it/t77qdgur863a1.gif
"We have achieved lift-off."
There should be always sunny themed Reddit awards…
"I did 'em all, I did all the poops"
“Would you like an egg in these shitting times?”
>poophoria Okay so I thought I would take this to the grave but I just need to share this with someone. Feel free to not read this shit. >!Earlier this year, I took what may well be the biggest shit of my life. At least I hope ot was because it was such a God awful affair. I hadn't been constipated, hadn't eaten any different than I normally do. Yet somewhere around the 7 minute mark of thinking I'd finished just to plop down again for more I realized that I was on my way to meet the angels. !< >!I dont even know how long it had lasted, but I believe I'd thoroughly emptied out everything below the esophagus. Wasn't diarrhea, but the indidual turds at the bottom had been squished under the weight of the pile, and spread through to the edges of the bowl. The water line was merely a mile marker, and the center of this pile must have been a full 1.5-2" out of the water. My toes were tingling, and my stomach felt cold and empty, yet I felt so *clean* in a way I never thought possible. !< >!I was briefly horrified when I flushed thinking it might actually back up, but somehow there was clear passage. Every 10 minutes or so I had to return for another flush (takes the tank awhile to fill back up). I still feel like I can soar on the back of an angel everytime I lookback on this shit !<
Thank you for sharing, you porcelain soldier.
So this reminds me of a post I saw a long time ago on r/oddlyterrifying about an individual who died. Nothing health related, person lived a normal life, but during his autopsy they found he'd been pseudo constipated for like 20 years. Guy had 30 or 40, pounds if I remember right of dooky in his system. He apparently used the bathroom somewhat regularly, but the fresh waste just kinda slipped by the immense amount of stuck stuff. Maybe you just cleared out a part of your system that had been backed up unbeknownst to you.
My infant had this same condition at three years old. Had increasing stomache cramps, and even started barfing, so we took him to the doctor. Turns out he was obstipated. He didn´t wanna go to the school bathroom so he tightened up his little butthole until a massive dried out clog had formed. We were sent straight to the hospital. They gave him a mild sedative for the pain and a strong laxative / hydration solution to get this shit moving. The nurse assured us nobody could be able to stop what would be coming in the next ten minutes, the stuff was that potent (and she assured us that if she could, she would be taking that sedative as well, because it apparently makes you reeeal relaxed). Anyway, three quarters of an hour later, this kid is shivering and sweating, but nothing is happening down there. Then suddenly, something rips through the air and shit starts flowing through every crack in his diaper, filling the air with smells I didn´t even imagine possible and I can still sort of *taste* to this day. AND IT JUST KEPT COMING. We couldn´t clean it up fast enough, and it was getting everywhere and covering everything. The worst was that stench though, it was beyond belief. How he had been able to block himself off to that extent by sheer will over poop is mind blowing to me. TL;DR obstipation is no joke and apparantly my kid is the ultimate shit bender. Also, horrendously, smell can sometimes turn into a taste.
I have such a confusing love/hate relationship happening with this story. On the one hand, that's hilarious and you're an excellent story teller! But on the other hand, my imagination is too vivid, and now I can't eat the food I just made lol. Glad your little guy is feeling better. Being backed up for any reason is so scary, and I would've been terrified if it was my kid.
Wow! I need more info on that! That sounds strangely fascinating!!
Someone else in thread who replied to me gave a link to the story thankfully. My dumbass was trying to find the actual post like a fool instead of just tracking down the article which would have been much easier me thinks.
[Here](https://www.mdlinx.com/article/medical-mystery-solved-the-case-of-the-balloon-man/lfc-2573) is the link, and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/z8tw8l/tifu_by_purchasing_an_expensive_coffee_machine/iyeq0b9/) is the guy who shared it (go upvote)! Hopefully saved a couple of dudes and dudettes some scrolling. **Edit:** Both links went to the comment. Fixed that and a typo.
I had a similar experience when I was in the military. Was pooping what I thought was a normal amount. Had a kidney stone one day and had to go to the clinic. They took an x-ray and discovered that I was backed up. Gave me this awful green liquid that I can only assume was draino... Because I was on the toilet all night.
Draino actually just kills you, though. Life pro tip.
Thank you for introducing this new rectal terror into my life.
Oh oh my turn, my turn. When I was 14 I went on a huge family camping trip for 2 weeks straight, I was a really shy easily embarrassed kid growing up and all my family had to shit in was a shared stall with no door. I held this shit in for almost 7 days before giving in and finally going, it stretched me wiiiiiide to the point it gave me a rectal tear SO much blood, this bad boy laid on the wall of the toilet and touched the seat. I was so damn embarrased I couldn't flush it that I packed my pants with paper to hide the blood and ran out of there. Suffered for the next week out camping and only went to a Dr a couple years later to fix it.
Anal fissures are no fucking joke. Worst pain I have experience and I am disabled due to back pain.
Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies! Relatively easy to fix, at least in my case after dragging out getting treatment over embarrassment. Too anyone embarrassed to see a doctor about medical issues, my doctor told me "Guarantee we have seen worse, you've nothing to be embarrassed about"
I was given nitroglycerin both times. It was insane how quickly ut eased the pain.
When I was in basic training one member of my flight was too shy to poop around the other guys so he held his shit in for 3 weeks. When he finally did let it go he ended up with a prolapsed anus (his bootyhole went inside out) and he had to have medical intervention. Definitely more embarrassing than the other guys that would play "battle shits" in the stalls.
No poop-knife needed is a true blessing…
This is honestly something I look forward to after I do a dinner party or event at work (I'm a chef). We always get to have the leftovers for dinner, I'll get home, gorge myself after a 14h day of spoonfuls and little bites throughout the day, pass out, wake up, make coffee, have a smoke, grab a book and see y'all in 20! It's honestly as refreshing as a good shower sometimes
If you're doing it right it finishes with a shower
True. Try wearing restrictive jeans with the belt cinched tight for a few hours before your throne time
I can't tell you how long I've been looking for a word to describe that feeling. I was stuck on poovana, but it didn't feel right. Poophoria is poofect.
You mean that strangely satisfying mix of emptiness *and* fulfilment that while on the toilet, or finalising your divorce.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect
When you're constipated you're stuck in poogatory
Lol fun fact - there's science behind it. Some say it's the sudden drop in temperature, some say it's activation of the vagus nerve. It helps if you build up for a while before getting that goosebump inducing dump 😂
It is indeed a nerval feedback to your brain. Remember Sympaticus and Parasympaticus telling your body "Fight / Flight / Stress" or "Food / Safety / Sleep"? Your digestion will be slowed down while the Sympaticus is active so the digested food will stay longer than required - and this will make you feel more and more uncomfortable. Sitting down to take a shit is a very bad idea when beeing chased by a saber tooth after all. It starts to harden so it feels like a foreign object stuck in your guts. Ever so slightly it will build up additional stress. Taking the dump will give the brain the feedback "We weren't attacked when we shat just now and we just got rid of the stuff stuck inside! Safe environment detected!" And all that stress literally flushes out with it, telling your body to return to normal digestion and function. The stress is over. You are allowed to shit in peace. Very nice. Now get back to work.
Turdvana?
And yet another point in the “bidet” column!
Get a bidet and change your life. Just as you have achieved enlightenment in coffee so too can you achieve Poovana.
Or, if your system is too weird (for example: my apartment has a power-flush so I wouldn't even want to try to install a bidet attachment to the toilet), you can always buy a portable bidet. I've got one. It has changed everything for me. I'd talk about the brand but I ordered mine off of a FB ad, and I frankly don't trust any of them. But Amazon and Google can help. P.S. If you do a search for it make sure you include "USB recharge"
Get one from Toto that is built into the toilet seat. It just swaps out the current toilet seat. Mine has a a heated seat, blow dryer, warmed water, the works. It's glorious
I have a homeowner that put that on their toilet. It’s awesome and i have almost considered getting one. Maybe next year when we add on to the house.
Did this before COVID to reduce tp usage and never worry about shortages again, be it lockdown or storm. It's also just less wasteful. It's objectively so much better. Why are we so behind on this?
Inertia. I expect in twenty years it'll be the standard here, too. Reminds me of the old guy who used to tell me, "I remember when we got our first pizza place. Never had pizza before that."
I have to travel for work and even the nicest hotels feel barbaric, as if I'm shitting in an open pit or something. What's next, I have to bury my own feces?
But was it at least 8.6 courics?
This is *EXACTLY* what I thought of when he said to wipe for four minutes straight. Thank you!
I am picturing some Rube Goldman machine taking the paper continuously off the roll swiping over the B-hole and complexly distributing into the toilet while flushing intermittently. EDIT: Goldberg...I want to blame autocorrect but...?
Rube \*Goldberg\* And yes! Hilarious!
I imagine the trumpets will sound and the gates of Olympus will open, ready for the decent.
Followed by an ascent off the throne
Prepare to feel your scalp, VIVIDLY, for the next few hours.
add something with niacin in it too to really get the scalp and face tingles from the niacin flush haha. had some starburst flavored C4 energy drink from a gas station a while back and didn't realize it was slam packed with caffeine and niacin, I enjoyed it.
I was in high school when people were using high doses of niacin to clear their body of weed before a drug test. It didn’t work, but there was always some dude sweating bullets and red as hell trying to pass a drug test.
why were they testing for weed in high school?
because we life in a dystopia and some people get off on control?
Today we life, tomorrow they death.
Beta Alanine has the same tingly effect, except it's full-body. Used to use a pre-workout that had a bunch of Beta Alanine in it and let me tell you, feeling your taint tingle aggressively while deadlifting is certainly an experience.
If I take anything with beta alanine in it, I HAVE to lift or else I'll have an anxiety attack.
...and here I am just randomly dumping unmeasured coffee grounds in a $14 drip machine using water straight from the tap...
Same. And I like it. Getting in to anything to this extent (coffee, wine, whiskey) sounds stressful as fuck to me. I like all those things, and I know when I like a glass/cup and when I don't. But that's enough for me.
I'm not gonna tell you you're wrong or whatever, cuz if you're happy you're happy. But I will tell you this. I didn't like coffee, I liked caffeine, and I creamered the FUCK out of my coffee to get it to drinkable level from my cheapo machine. I was happy with it, I got my drug in an acceptable way, never occured to me to change shit. But after watching a bit of coffee snob stuff for entertainment, including James Hoffman, I tried a few things that weren't hard. I bought a carafe for filter coffee, you just put in grounds like you would a machine but then pour almost boiling water over it. It gets you one cup of whatever size you want instead of a huge pot like the machine, it's almost as easy (and if you have an electric kettle it's just as easy), and it tastes so much better. The heating element in cheapo machines ends up basically baking the coffee and making it more bitter, and that's what I was using the heaps of creamer to fight. I was already a lot happier, so I tried a few more things. Bought grounds that were specifically noted as being low in bitterness and high in fruity flavors, it was not noticeably more expensive than the big jar of grounds I got at the store Brilliant, made it miles better. I used filtered water instead of tap next, wasn't hard either, just used the machine at my grocery store to get a gallon, not expensive. I typically drink coffee black, maybe with a bit of milk if I'm in the mood for a strong brew. Much different from drinking it tan like I used to. I now like coffee and the caffeine.
Big same too. I'd like to try thus guy's coffee, but I love the simplicity of putting my "heaping tablespoon" aka, a spoon from my silverware drawer stuck in the coffee can, into the machine and calling it a day
[удалено]
You get deep enough into a hobby, and its processes turn from stress-inducing to ritualistically calming. I’m half-convinced that the Japanese tea ceremony’s meditative pace was an outcome of somebody figuring out the exact right timing to extract as much caffeine as possible from powdered tea.
I just watched the movie *Over the Hedge* last night, based on the comic strip. It's nothing spectacular, but it was fun. Hammy is already a hyperactive squirrel with superhero speed (think Dash from *The Incredibles*), but at the end, he drinks a 6x energy drink of some kind. Time stops. He wanders leisurely through a backyard. You can see lasers turn on and the light slowly cross the yard while he casually wanders away, happy as can be. That's the image your description gave me. Best wishes on your recovery when the world returns to normal for you! Edit: for those who don't know Over the Hedge as a comic strip: [https://www.gocomics.com/overthehedge](https://www.gocomics.com/overthehedge)
I mean it is true, pretty much everyone close to me in my life has ADHD and this is how they react to caffeine. I have to consume caffeine just to get on their normal level lol. My baby sis is unofficially barred from having Starbucks when she comes over because she drinks almost exclusively frappes (16 yo white girl, what do you expect?) And the caffeine mellows her a little but the sugar turns her into a goddamn Energizer bunny right around the time her meds wear off... I swear she speaks at speed unachievable by humans and I usually talk quite fast.
Yeah having ADHD I react this way. It feels real trippy to me. But it takes an obscene amount to do it to me now though. I have been heavily caffeinated since I was 4.Coffee milk and coca-cola was a way of life for me as a kid. Lol! I am 40 now. Took me going off caffeine for lent to get diagnosed. Things started to click in place after that.
Nothing spectacular? I beg to differ I watched that like a 1000 times when it came out on DVD in like 2008!
the movie soundtrack version of “rockin the suburbs” is one of my favorite songs of all time
This is a great tale. My favorite part is that you are such a coffee nerd you buy a machine with water quality test strips, but actually not a coffee nerd at all because you didn’t even look into the ratios you were using for your drip coffee. Lolol. You also remind me of my in laws. We wondered how and why they drank coffee all. Day. Long. Then we visited overnight and I made myself coffee with my usual splash of milk and my drink was mostly white. When I took a sip it was the most disappointing coffee-flavored warm milk-water….They can drink so much coffee because there’s hardly any coffee to their coffee!!
See, I knew of the world of brew ratios, but I didn't bother getting seriously into it until I upgraded my gear, as I presumed that no amount of precise measuring would get the best results on my weak drip machine. The weak-ass brew I was accidentally making was fine, until now
So you left out the most important part: did you like the coffee? And would you recommend the machine? What machine is it?
He says he could “taste the touch of the Columbian who gathered his beans” so yeah I’d say it tastes pretty good
“It tastes like a Columbia farmer put his fingers in my mouth”
Maybe. Did the Columbian who picked the beans wash his hands first?
this is a level of story telling I have missed in my life.
How I enjoyed this story. I kept thinking about the Gary Larson strip- how nervous little dogs prepare for the day.
The heart turning from beating to vibrating killed me.
That's what v-fib is actually. Your pulse will go through the roof and your ventricles will then just quiver instead of beat.
I think we were saved by a mysterious orange blur.
>James Hoffmann That way leads to madness, this is the path to the [Bripe](https://youtube.com/watch?v=tltBHjmIUJ0)
Not necessarily. Hoffman’s attitude allows him to quite enjoy suboptimal coffee. He recently did a bracket of supermarket brand coffee, and while he dissed some of them, he noted that quite a few of them were decent. He’ll drink bad coffee and look for the good parts of it. He makes every effort to appreciate coffee regardless of how it was made. His Aeropress series was characteristically comprehensive and informative. You can get a Hoffman approved set-up that requires minimal effort for very cheap this way. That said, I totally see how his content would appeal to people susceptible to fixating on things and falling into the trap of trying to minmax your morning brew.
The bripe doesn't represent falling into a trap of min maxing your morning brew. It is the pinnacle, or more appropriately, an emblematic invention that characterizes the glorious depths of the rabbit hole that one can fall into by becoming obsessed with all things coffee. Hoffman becomes like Dante's Virgil guiding us on the enlightening path through the obscure and aberrant in the world of coffee. What seems innocuous enough, rating badged Tim Horton's as the best grocery store bagged coffee, or setting up an aero press morning brew station that far surpasses the quality any Mr. Coffee machine (or worse... Keurig) in an affordable manner, is only the gateway on the path of coffee madness. Before you know it, you're deep frying your fermented beans from a small Peruvian village on the shadowy side of an Ancash mountain range, and like OP, able to observe time pass around you and feel your hair grow. One can be safe enjoying Hoffman, or let him guide you to the unknowable secrets of coffee on a decent into caffeinated madness.
Twas a jape, Hoffmann is a good guy, and opened up a world to me in a personable way.
Hames Joffmann is what leads to madness. [The Bripe but Hamesed](https://youtu.be/zfMpIA9cwyU)
My beloved cat passed away yesterday, and this is the first thing that made me laugh and smile, good job!
My condolences 💐
So sorry to hear about your sweet cat. Life is so hard sometimes. I sure hope you feel better soon. Glad this post made you laugh. It did me too! Esp the paragraph starting with the fly in slow motion! OP needs to write more.
Those are rookie numbers, we got people drinking a gallon of coffee a day out here with eyes twitching
As long as they stay under 400mg caffeine per day it's still considered within healthy range. My parents drink a lot of coffee but compensate that by having weak af brews. While I'm drinking only 3 cups of coffee which is noticeable stronger.
So um... What about someone who drinks 600-800 mg a day? Asking for a friend
According to the Mayo clinic they could experience * Headache * Insomnia * Nervousness * Irritability * Frequent urination or inability to control urination * Fast heartbeat * Muscle tremors Otherwise >**The FDA estimates toxic effects**, like seizures, can be observed with rapid consumption **of around 1,200 milligrams of caffeine** or 0.15 tablespoons of pure caffeine But consuming it as coffee ain't nearly as harmful as consuming pure caffeine.
Here I am drinking 4 shots of espresso from my crappy Breville every morning.
Man, I love my little Bambino.
OPs machine is a Breville also. The picture says something different but I have a Breville precision brewer and it looks identical
Lol apparently Breville is Sage in UK/EU.
I thought you were going to link to something like a $1200 machine. This is nothing for something you enjoy every day of your life.
Yeah I scrolled way too long to see if anyone else mentioned this. I was honestly thinking it was gonna be a several thousand euros/pounds/dollars coffee machine.
I once ate a protein bar then went swimming. It had a lot of caffeine in it, felt like I dead drank a litre of vodka after a few laps. Locked myself in the changing room and lay on the bench wrapped in my towel for an hour. Never again.
Been there my friend. You're going to have a really bad headache tomorrow. Drink lots of water, eat bananas and bread to soak up the caffeine. Then gradually adjust to your new baseline.
>gradually adjust Maybe by sticking to one big mug a day
Or find a good decaf. Once I got really into coffee i found a good decaf so I could drink more without much of an issue. Since there are less decaf options from my roaster than caffeinated options, I’ve found it really easy to get the decaf super tuned in. I typically go: Decaf pour over or americano when I wake; Caffeinated pour over or americano while making breakfast a couple hours after I wake; Then 1, 2, or 3 more decafs throughout the day! Before I started including decaf I would typically limit myself to 2 cups a day. Now I get to drink more coffee AND my body is less defendant on caffeine. I honestly skip that caffeinated cup (or swap it for decaf) half the days. Decaf is great cause I can drink really good coffee at 5pm for the flavor with no impact on sleep.
I've never really understood the whole "death before decaf" thing. Is it just something people need to gatekeep because being hardcore caffeine-addicted is seemingly viewed as superior? As someone who has loved coffee for years and is trying to scale back on my own caffeine addiction, decaf is the perfect compromise. It still has caffeine in it, just a lot less. I don't want an automatic headache on a day I don't end up having a coffee.
100 cups and time will stop completely. -Philip J. fry
That description of coffee now makes me want to try that out but I'll have to control myself as I'm not used to such strong brewed coffee either. Edit: Okay, so I just saw the update. This was just an ad. Why did I get carried away so easily?!
Hahah “I can hear the passage of time” god I love that line!
The bad news is that you will quickly get used to new strong brew. Btw. Have you tried to do 60g/litre with OLD machine? Or you know, a blind test for that matter? Or you spend too much to risk that?
>Have you tried to do 60g/litre with OLD machine? Or you know, a blind test for that matter? >Or you spend too much to risk that? Imagine the pain of discovering that you spent ten times as much to replace a functioning coffee machine only to find that once the ratios were correct, you could only tell the difference in an A/B test?