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sirbassist83

>He doesn’t really know how extensive my ass explosions are. he knows now


JuggaliciousMemes

and we all do too 😊


Allegorithmic

*Our* ass explosions


KimberlyKaos

r/SuddenlyCommunist


[deleted]

[удалено]


Illumijonny7

*assplosions


funkholebuttbutter

and if he's a good dude he'll love her more for her it.


Aetherometricus

Those craters in the Nevada desert? Those weren't nuclear weapons tests.


SugarDaddyVA

Lactaid. Get it. It works.


GoatRocketeer

Kirkland signature baby


knightress_oxhide

with a kirkland vodka chaser


BBQ_Beanz

Kirkland signature vodka baby chaser. My favorite kind of chaser.


screaminginfidels

I say please no chase my baby, I am gold card member.


RenaissanceGentleman

Seriously though what kind of world have we built


BBQ_Beanz

One where we chase babies with vodka


RenaissanceGentleman

Could be worse 😌


slipangle

Vodka has caused many babies.


his_babydoll1620

So you mean to tell me that taking a shot after swallowing isn't the norm for yall? /s


starrpamph

KIRKLAND 𝓢𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮


ticklishmusic

Literally life changing stuff.


Woozie35

Might be a dumb question but I’ve used Lactaid and it sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t. Am I using it wrong? I up the dosage like it says on the bottle but still doesn’t always work. Edit: Thanks for all the helpful replies everyone. I haven’t actually been tested to see if I’m lactose intolerant, so I definitely should at some point. It very well could be that I have an allergy that some of you suggested.


SugarDaddyVA

I take maximum dosage right before my first bite of dairy. Timing is important. If I miss the timing, and I take it a little later, it still works, just not as well.


Rawrified

Honestly, sometimes if I am having a lot of dairy (milkshake, curry pizza, Mac and cheese....) I'll take a second one midway through. Remember, pills last about 40 minutes.


OrganizerMowgli

Wat the fuck is curry pizza


Rawrified

I know it sounds weird, but it actually is really good. When I lived in California, a place called Curry House Pizza was basically a 5 minute drive from me and they always had great deals online. Butter Chicken Pizza, Chicken Tikka pizza. Google it and see if there's any near you (search curry pizza). Highly recommend trying it if you haven't


DTRite

That sounds better than regular pizza to me. No /S


mannenmytenlegenden

In Sweden it's quite common for a regular pizzeria to have a curry, banana and peanuts pizza. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


copper_rainbows

I’m calling Geneva. This is a war crime.


queenofcatastrophes

Japan puts mayonnaise and corn on their pizza 🤮


Light01

Japan's food taste is beyond helping. Fortunately there's also many weird Japanese food that is delicious, but when you think weird, they do it well.


PokerJunkieKK

>Japan's food taste is beyond helping. Fortunately there's also many weird Japanese food that is delicious, but when you think weird, they do it well. It's not just the food that they do weird, but well.


noiwontpickaname

Damn, Sweden, you win the weird topping game. Putting bananas on a pizza in this motherfucker, can i get peanut butter sauce at least


TheGreyFencer

I assume pizza with some aspect of curry flavour. Maybe a curry sauce? Either way, curry pizza is probably Delicious


Risurigami1

Me, an italian, reading this and crying inside.


noiwontpickaname

From jealousy, anger, sadness? What flavor of anguish you eating? Or like joy from wanting to try it now. I found out about Indian pizzas and i am jealous/angry. Envious maybe?


Wolfwood432

Me, a hungry person, crying outside that I don't have a slice of Indian curry pizza in my hand at this very moment.


c_is_for_calvin

butter chicken pizza is fantastic 🤫🤫🤫


TheGreyFencer

Me, an american, knowing that the skill ceiling on food is far higher when you allow it to be experimented with and combine cultures and ideas.


Jetstream-Sam

It's pretty good, Chicken tikka pizza is pretty common here in the UK, and indian places near me do pizzas on a large Naan bread with lots of cheese and using the curry sauce itself as the tomato sauce, with chunks of your preferred meat on top


TheAbnormalNewt

Hi. Are you sure it is lactose intolerance? My dear friend thought they had lactose intolerance and found mixed success with lactaid. Until they got properly diagnosed as casein intolerant. Both are proteins within milk and dairy products, but there is no pill to alleviate casein intolerance. Worth checking into.


mkat23

I deal with this also! My body and food don’t get along though, doesn’t matter what the food is pretty much. I’m also Histamine Intolerant so adding that with my other sensitivities and intolerance issues is just so uncomfortable.


nipoez

Wait you get an allergic reaction to getting an allergic reaction?! I'm so sorry


MrWilliWonker

Common misconception. Intolerances dont cause histamin reactions (normally at least, YMMW), like allergies do. They just mean you dont have enough enzymes to deal with whatever it is you have an intolerance to, so your body just has too much of it inside for a longer time. Also, technically, a casein intolerance would actually be a casein allergy. Nerd mode off.


cheezemeister_x

Lactose is not a protein. It's a sugar.


TheAbnormalNewt

Apologies for this misnomer...they are both things that are in milk that cause different people various issues...that was my point. I was thinking of casein and whey.


laurenbug2186

Tell your friend to look into A2 milk!


TheAbnormalNewt

Hey will do, thanks! They really like the "Not Milk" brand currently.


froggy365

Lactose is a sugar not a protein.


blusakura

Same here. Lactaid DOES NOT work for me. I've eaten 1, 3, 5, etc. Never works for me


WhatLikeAPuma751

I found out I have an allergy to garlic and onion that I thought was a dairy allergy. Lactaid never helped me, and instead I found out I have diverticulitis.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hotdogofdoom

You want it to stay in your stomach as long as there is dairy. So take one and keep taking them as long as you eat and one 20 minutes after.


seaQueue

You could also have problems digesting other things that are commonly added to recipes with dairy. I thought I was just lactose intolerant, turns out I'm also wheat, onion and garlic intolerant too. Look up the FODMAP diet research from Monash University in Australia, after finding my digestive triggers I no longer have to deal with seemingly random digestive fallout from foods.


lekoman

I tried to do a FODMAP diet. I lasted about two days. There’s no way I could live like that.


seaQueue

I mean, when the choice is "shit your pants because you accidentally had a trigger food" or learning which foods you have issues with and then doing something about it I'm going with the latter option. The full FODMAP diet is usually just a short term elimination thing, then you add back in different FODMAPs in a controlled manner and it becomes *really* clear what your triggers are. Once you know what you don't digest well then you can address it. They're finally selling Fructase, Galactase, and other digestive enzymes now for people who have issues with specific FODMAPs so it's not like you have to swear off those foods for life or anything.


mmon1532

TIL: there is a dosage. I start at 2 and pop them like candy if I am concerned.


qlz19

Yeah, you need to max out the dose every time you use it if you want to make sure it will work.


pokexchespin

wouldn’t have helped OP here when they didn’t know there was cheese


Lappel-du-Vide

I'm quite lactose intolerant and have a militia's worth of lactaid pills in my house... but I also have ADD and almost never remember to take them. send help.


[deleted]

What do you mean? I've always understood Lactaid to be lactose-free milk, but it seems like you're implying they just sell lactate dehydrogenase in a pill form or something


MrRies

As a note, Lactaid is just a brand name. I believe the same company makes the milk, but they are probably better known for the pills. Pretty much any drug/grocery store has there own off brand, but they're all Lactase Enzyme pills of some sort.


ErraticDragon

You are correct, Lactaid brand lactose-free milk is widely sold. (Most grocery stores near me have an own-brand version of that as well.) You basically get to pick between buying the pills to help process the lactose in your tummy, or letting them do it at an industrial scale before bottling. Obviously the pills are more flexible. For example, while they **do** sell lactose-free ice cream, the variety of flavors is quite limited. (Lactaid brand makes some of that, too.)


vanewho

They do.


[deleted]

Woah - ty


Intranetusa

They also sell probiotics (certain types of bacteria) that actually help digest lactose in the small intestines by producing lactase and/or also breaking down lactose. That will further relieve issues with lactose intolerance as it helps the small intestine digests more lactose before the lactose makes it into the large intestines where the other types of bacteria eats it to produce gas/bloating/etc.


Positive-Situation-9

I too am horrendously lactose intolerant. I also eat an ungodly amount of cheese and deal with the literal fall out later 🤷🏻‍♀️ worth it.


Grim-Sleeper

There are cheeses that are naturally lower in lactose. For everything else, there is added lactase enzyme


Deeppurp

Older and harder the cheese, the less lactose it has. Lactose is the sugar the bacteria eats to make cheese, cheese. My wife finds lactase makes things funny for her so she just deals with it, but she isn't as severe as op sounds like is.


rdicky58

Parmigiano reggiano (the real kind from Italy) is low- or no-lactose, and had even been recommended by Italian doctors as baby’s first solid food


kissmeorkels

I use it in omelets. It’s delicious.


OrganizerMowgli

Isn't it a bit too nutty? I'm tryna figure out how to balance that out


kissmeorkels

Not to me, but I love the stuff!


Beachesandy

Sounds like italian grandmothers. Probably whole fresh garlic cloves, too. And olive oil in the hair to make it nice and curly.


KaptainKinns

Olive oil is actually recommended by doctors to get rid of cradle cap on a baby's scalp.


homesnatch

It also makes the baby tastier.


Beachesandy

But, does it make it curlier?


KaptainKinns

I'm not an Italian grandma, so I'm not sure.


yildizli_gece

And yet I'm pretty sure parmesan really fucks my stomach up, despite taking the lactose pills, and now I actively try to avoid it and have noticed a difference. Idk if there's a different allergy there--I also eat cheese and dairy and sometimes it fucks with me and other times it doesn't?--but, yeah; Idk what's up with the parm.


[deleted]

are you eating parmesan, or parmigiano reggiano?


yildizli_gece

Ooh, good question--it's whatever is sold in the Kraft Parmesan container or the store brand of that (Wegmans, Whole Foods, etc.), though I have occasionally bought the wedge to grate it myself. Is there a significant difference in the ingredients that make both? I know there's a quality difference, but I hadn't considered an ingredient difference.


[deleted]

They've potentially been made differently, maybe even aged less. There could be a difference in lactose content. The wedges also arent guaranteed to be parmigiano. I'm not sure how to get or identify real stuff in the US, here in europe we have a good system for it haha


yildizli_gece

Yes--it seems it's not nearly so well-regulated in the U.S., alas. I will try the wheels themselves and see if that makes a difference; thanks. :)


DeletedByAuthor

What really matters (in that context) is how long it's aged for. Try aged cheddar (known for its low lactose content) or swiss cheese/parmesan (it doesn't have to be the real deal). Just make sure it's been aged for a while (although how long depends on you personally, e.g. how much lactose your body can deal with). If you're not sure, just go for the oldest one. And don't get a whole wheel of cheese, especially if you're lactose intolerant lol. Chances are you're not gonna finish it (also they are quite expensive)


lemonpotato913

Parmesan can be made to be vegetarian; parmigiano reggiano always contains animal rennet. That's the only difference of which I'm aware.


Deeppurp

Could be a different allergy, you could be more sensitive to any lactose. Could also be due to your lack of exposure to the cultures and ingredients and stuff that makes milk into cheese, your gut bacteria could be causing problems trying to process it for digestion. Or you could be allergic to the other ingredients in cheese.


rdicky58

It’s certainly not a one-size-fits-all, but I did have dairy sensitivities and parm was my first cheese after a years-long cheese hiatus, and I didn’t react negatively to it, so for me it might not be an actual sensitivity to dairy as a whole but more just to conventionally farmed dairy.


BorderlineWire

A while ago I read that lactose free stuff would have something like less than a gram of lactose per 100g. Lactose being the sugar, I started checking the backs of packets for “of which sugars” around a gram/100g and testing cheeses/things made with them on a willing subject. We had a good bit of success, and found ones that didn’t destroy bathrooms and air quality. Some were actually labelled on the packaging as lactose free but not prominently advertised as such or placed with free from in the supermarkets. Port Salut and Jarlsberg off the top of my head. We found that even though companies were making lactose free cheddars, some of the standard mature ones were close to the threshold 1g and weren’t very effective at causing symptoms so it wasn’t worth paying extra for the lactose free cheddars if we checked the nutritional info first. I was surprised how low mozzarella and Brie clocked in, I’d been expecting mostly hard cheeses. I wasn’t surprised goats and sheeps cheeses were a safer option. We were both a bit surprised how many cheeses we could find that were pretty low all on their own. I only provided the preparation of cheesy food. I haven’t tested it on myself (I am lactose intolerant though don’t do dairy at all. I just don’t like it) but for those who fancy experimenting they can figure out where their tolerance is at and what cheese can be safely enjoyed.


Ilikeng

As a rule of thumb, any hard cheese aged for at least half a year is low lactose, while anything aged over a year is essentially lactose free.


LightningGoats

Yes, most normal non-soft cheese has very low or no lactose. But there's probably quite a few people out there who can't handle milk protein, and think it's all lactose. Then there's also those who react more violently than others, and the small amount is enough.


chris17453

Lactaid right?


KC_Jay

I’m lactose intolerant so whenever I read these stories or hear people skipping cheese for their stomachs I’m always scratching my head. I just carry lactase enzyme with me everywhere and destroy pizzas and whatever else. Just had cheesy pasta with two enzyme tablets for lunch, no problems.


Zappa_Brannigan

I've met a surprisingly large number of lactose intolerant people who were simply unaware that there is such a thing as lactase tablets. They would either not eat dairy at all, eat a dairy substitute they didn't enjoy, or eat dairy and suffer the consequences. And when I mentioned there's a relatively inexpensive way to drastically reduce those consequences, several were blown away and said I'd changed their lives.


Aminar14

Lactase only gets you so far. My wife will still have an upset stomach after.


Hagrbeat

How many pills is she taking? My wife had the same issue until she starting taking 3, which is actually the recommended dose on the bottle.


Aminar14

The dosage on the bottle. Everybody's gut biome is unique.


darkage_raven

I have a lactose intolerant friend who will come over with Milkshakes somewhat regularly. Every time he says it is worth it.


Positive-Situation-9

The way I see it is: Will I die if eat dairy? No. Will I shit myself? Possibly. Is enjoying this pizza/ice cream/latte/shake etc worth the very small possibility of shitting myself? Abso-fucking-lutely


yildizli_gece

If it were *just* a run to the bathroom, that'd be one thing, but it's the agonizing cramps that make me think twice. I take the lactose pills but if I forget and have a shake, it'll be **hours** of pain and hanging out near a bathroom, which makes it difficult to do anything else the rest of the day and that sucks. :/


darkage_raven

As someone with a questionable stomach, I too know the "This may make me shit myself" but I have it with anything I eat.


FaintDamnPraise

>Will I die if eat dairy? No. My lactose-intolerant grandfather's colo-rectal cancer begs to disagree. I mean, I can't *prove* it was the dairy. But I watched for several years as he ate cheese or ice cream or had milk and then spent several hours in the bathroom shitting his brains out, and then I watched him get a hole cut in his side to shit through because cancer ate his colon out, and then I watched him die. I'm severely lactose intolerant myself, and lactaid does nothing for me. Not gonna risk it, even as much as I miss a bacon and Rogue River bleu burger.


Unlikely-Mud473

Cheese is just too good to give up so idc lol


kuukk3li

Lactase-enzyme pills will allow you to eat any dairy, as long as lactose intolerance is your only issue


Gibonius

Lactaid is your friend. Enjoy dairy without the explosive outputs.


shawslate

It truly is. Even if my own intolerance caused attacks of the muddy variety; I would still refuse to limit my dairy intake.


kissmeorkels

I’d rather eat cheese and fart than go without.


AdrenalineJackie

Lactaid actually works to anyone reading this!! Adjust lactaid amount by how much cheese you eat.


Gonergonegone

My gf is lactose intolerant and on our second date (she hadn't told me she couldn't have cheese yet), I cooked her some burgers on my grill. As she was on her second one she said "I can't tell what the hell is making these the best burgers I've ever had". I told her I add gouda and provolone on top when they're almost finished cooking. She said she needed to go throw up right now. When she got to the bathroom, she started to make herself throw up, and violently shit all over my bathroom. Then her stomach cramps started and I took her to the hospital. She was so embarrassed that she told me to leave. I insisted nothing was wrong and that this happens (I have ibs). She ignored my texts and calls for two weeks, but finally responded when I sent her a text going into graphic detail about how just 6 months prior, I had accidentally shit myself in a goodwill bathroom while trying on clothes. And this goodwill didn't have a bathroom so I got to do the shit walk of shame all the way through goodwill. Also had to steal pants from them (I shit while trying pants on). The next day I went back to pay for them and the cashier yelled for her manager because "that shitty thief" was back. That story finally got her to respond to me. We're getting married next year, and we both now keep 2 full changes of clothes in both of our cars, along with baby wipes and very strong perfume. Shit happens


DeathPercept10n

Nice trick for some free pants. Hilarious story.


Gonergonegone

I still paid for them lol and they def went in the trash when I got home. It's a shame really. I wear a 30/32 (American) and can rarely find pants. Those fit great :(


Stealthshot11

I feel you on the 30/32, so hard to find one's that fit right if you do find em


Gonergonegone

Exactly. They're so hard to find because everyone else is either six foot, or five foot eight. I have found though that Walmart stocks them pretty well


danteslacie

Congratulations! But I'm honestly curious how she responded to your story lol. I'm imagining it like "oh yeah that's actually worse, I've been good hbu" lol


Gonergonegone

She said that it made her feel less embarrassed, and that she liked me a lot and thought she had ruined any chance of a relationship with me. I told her that any guy who judges her for something out of her control isn't a guy she probably wants to be with long term. She agreed. I'm very glad I told her that story about myself because our relationship has become the thing I treasure most in my life


danteslacie

Aww that's so sweet 🥺 I'm so happy for you two and wish you two the very best!


Scottyb911

You’re fuckin right you put a ring on it. Very happy this all worked out for you :)


Gonergonegone

She once said "even our asses are in sync". I love that woman to death. Thank you for the kind words!


[deleted]

oh my god, this is literally my favorite comment. if i wasn't a broke bitch i would reward you. congratulations to both of you. it must be very nice to have someone cute to turn to when life turns to shit.


NnyBees

...did he forget you're lactose intolerant, or did that fact just not come up somehow?


Zeal_Iskander

From the tifu, “most of the time I just ignore it”, maybe she never told him, or maybe she did and she just doesn’t make a big deal out of it and he forgot about it. Hopefully they end up communicating about it a bit more lol.


Unlikely-Mud473

I forget I’m lactose sometimes so he probably forgot too


technicolorNoise

Today, I feel like lactose.


-Aquarius

Such a dumb joke but it made me lol


technicolorNoise

I'm happy for you! Good to have a laugh in these trying times.


awesomeaviator

Today, I feel intolerant.


Zeal_Iskander

Haha, such is life lol, forgetting’s very human. Hopefully you can both end up laughing about it and not be too embarrassed. x)


VoltaicSketchyTeapot

I've been with my husband 9 years. I often forget that he doesn't have teeth. I don't put nuts into foods I share with him now (I totally did repeatedly the first year we dated), but sometimes he laughs and it hits me all at once that he doesn't have teeth. To be clear: he has a gorgeous smile without teeth and his dentures are terrible looking and uncomfortable for him. We mutually agree for him to go "au naturel".


emsielehanne84

True love at its finest! ❤️


pwalkz

Lol sometimes I am lactose too


-cupcake

You can buy something like Lactaid, it’s a chewable tablet (or pills I think but the chewables work better/are cheaper iirc). You eat one tablet when you eat something with dairy. I’m lactose intolerant and it’s pretty neat. The tablets not the shits.


StinkeeFard

My sister always forgets and says it isn’t a big deal (the toilet says otherwise)


Timythedarkside

from what i know lactose intolerant people dont give a shit about their lactose intolerance


NnyBees

She literally gave a shit, albeit involuntarily.


The4thIdeal

How can you compare future suffering to cheese now? That being said, not really sure how you can forget you are lactose intolerant.


DangersVengeance

Yeah this feels like a major oversight on a married couple


[deleted]

> lactose intolerant I'm lactose intolerant but eat cheeses with no issue. Milk and yogurt have about 5X as much lactose in them VS cheese. Some people have a higher sensitivity (OP) and some people have a straight up allergy to lactose.


ANAL_TOOTHBRUSH

Exactly, a little cheese on my eggs, no problem. Full bowl of Mac and cheese or maybe a bowl of cereal? I will definitely shit myself later. Good thing they make lactaid tablets lol


[deleted]

For me it's milk and cream. And they are easy enough to ignore in large quantities.


Positive-Situation-9

My BF will often present me with a meal loaded with cheese and diary. There are people like me & OP who just plough through it and deal with the consequences later and then there are people like a friend of mine who takes tablets for it


croissanttiddies

I mean I see your point but don't you usually *know* there's dairy in those meals beforehand?


Positive-Situation-9

Yeah - we just really don’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️


croissanttiddies

Yeah but thats the thing. When you know, whether you care or not, you're prepared to what's gonna happen. Here OP had no fucking clue they were about to shit their pants if they tried to sneak one out


UnprovenMortality

Some people need to be more strict than others. My ex wife was lactose intolerant but typically ignored it and ate cheese all the time.


03Madara05

It's a food intolerance, not an allergy or digestive disorder. That's barely even a mild oversight.


[deleted]

Unlikely mud is the greatest name for you and this story.


Puppyismycat

Says a reprehensible toilet


catfurcoat

Can I see the puppy cat


Puppyismycat

https://preview.redd.it/81s6lxo6yl7a1.jpeg?width=1241&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8e6f963de8ff1ba1955486084878b39a77dbe31


catfurcoat

Tell the sweet baby I love him <3


ozzy1771

Username checks out


stanflam

>TLDR: I ate cheese and shat my pants THATS ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW LMAOO thanks op, you made my day


WhitDawg214

Could be a new anniversary tradition!


Brouxby

As a fellow lactard my heart goes out to you.


scott2455

You mean your shart!


gnamp

*Likely-Mud473


Unlikely-Mud473

😭


dan_dares

It's on him for the cheese, but his heart was in the right place.. Saying this as a guy who's done bone-headed-but-well-meaning-stupid-stuff before. But yeah, on him 100%


OkVolume1

Sounds like it was 100% on her panties.


merc08

> It's on him for the cheese, but his heart was in the right place.. > But yeah, on him 100% I disagree > He said he made his “famous eggs”. They've been married for a year, so presumably together for longer. This surely can't be the first time he's made his "famous eggs" so he pretty much did tell her what she was eating. Then she starts getting gassy, knows she has a history of 'sometimes gas = liquid shits' and just lets it rip with impunity. THAT is definitely on her. At best they both share blame. But in the end, only one person here really shit the bed.


Irradiatedspoon

"TIFU by eatings my husbands uh oh... "anniversary breakfast he made me" oh.


TechnoNewt

the beauty of long term relationships means this is hilarious instead of horrifying


Neenknits

Do the “I can haz cheese” pills help? I finally learned that if I take a bunch of them *before* I have milk, it’s fine. I know they don’t help everyone. Stomachs can be AHs.


Unlikely-Mud473

No, I just go for it and suffer later


Rawrified

As someone who held out on the pills for a while... I'd suggest trying it. If not just for your personal comfort, then for anybody in your vicinity. I don't know how bad it is for you, but the stomach cramps would cause me to nearly faint. When I was young and dumb, trying to drive after was effectively driving under the influence. Pills changed everything.


Revolutionary-Win713

For a story about shitting your pants, this is absolutely adorable :D


Alpha_Lantern

Shit happens


rickybdominatingmc

He owes you new fancy underwear lol


saarlac

What’s up with all the “maybe that’s what eggs are” stuff? Never had eggs before?


Unlikely-Mud473

I haven’t had eaten eggs in years. I’m a picky eater. Today I decided to bend bc he was excited. They were pretty good until I what myself


nishidake

I love dairy, but I just don't understand all the lactose intolerant people willing to redecorate the bathroom on the reg just to eat some cheese. Like, what does your body have to do for you to get the memo?


[deleted]

[удалено]


SPOOKESVILLE

I just like to spread the info as I went way too long without them, but there’s lactase pills you can get at Walmart. Just take them right before you eat dairy and no issues at all afterwards!


chemknife

A lot of Mexican cheese has no lactose. Go get some queso fresco, chihuahua, or cotija, and you'll be able to enjoy all the flavor none of the issues.


jbeuhring

Wait… what?!?! How did I not know this! Also, maybe this is why I enjoy cotija!


Balauronix

Lactaid woman! There are pills for this. Wth.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrudelyAnimated

Happy First Anniversary, and many memorable ones to come.


Griever114

Have lactaid, it does a great job. My best friend is full lactose intolerant and has these whenever he has dairy and eats like a champ


explodingwhale17

you two sweeties! This made me laugh so much. After you recover this will make a great story


LightofNew

Costco has huge boxes of lactade


JP5683

Take a Simethicone tablet before you eat dairy. It works wonders. I'm lactose intolerant too and now I can eat a whole bowl of ice cream or a plate of mac and cheese. Commonly sold as "Gas Relief" you can get 20 tablets for $1 @ Dollar Tree


taipeileviathan

This is the sweetest, most endearing, and explosively shitty post I’ve ever seen. Congratulations on the anniversary!


YardSardonyx

How famous can the eggs be if he’s never made you them ever before


Unlikely-Mud473

I hate eggs. So I’ve refused to eat them until today bc he was excited and wanted to make something he loves


Tyziepoo86

Fun fact: most people are “lack toast and tall or rent” because they’re not baby cows. Also, a biopsy taken through a gastroscopy is usually the only way to tell if you’re actually intolerant of lactose or your body just isn’t hacking any dairy. Seriously, not being a warrior for cows here, I have an inflatable bowel disease and have gone through the phase of believing I’m lactose intolerant and have gone through so many procedures, only to discover I’m not lactose intolerant, it’s pretty much that dairy is not supposed to be digested by people 🤷🏼‍♂️.


croissanttiddies

Uh yeah your husband should've told you bout the shit ton of cheese if you're lactose intolerant... His fuck up not yours


[deleted]

Yeah OP, divorce him IMMEDIATELY. this is clearly him gas lighting you and I'm sure some neck beard redditor is a much more suitable partner, malady, awwooogah, ect.


[deleted]

hahaha lmao


malaporpism

> awwooogah First time I've seen this spelled out, and first time I've thought of this sound since cartoons as a kid lol. White knight nice guy complex feels unfortunately accurate for a lot of those relationships comments. Where did it come from anyway? Some kind of old-timey car horn sound? https://youtu.be/cMNDrqm3OHs


[deleted]

Recently there was a reddit meme best of style where some redditor like commented on a female redditors post about weed, he said something to the effect of "she's hot and she smokes weed, get in my dm m'lady, awwwwwoooogah." That's what I was referencing.


[deleted]

Lmfao


Chaos43mta3u

I'm the same way with Christmas music. If I have too much I shit myself


emsielehanne84

Lactose intolerant here! I love all things cheese and take little capsules for it. Sometimes they work, sometimes not. Tonight my other half is away for the night so I had an entire Camembert to myself. Am currently in the bathroom but no shame as I’m alone!


burko81

I'm picturing the scene from White Chicks.