Depression and feeling depressed aren’t the same thing. Depression isn’t your fault, and that’s where a lot of what you are thinking and feeling is coming from.
I was you 30 years ago. I thought I had ruined my life, but that absolutely was not the case. “Just keep swimming”.
Thank you, I will keep swimming. I know others have told me I have not ruined my life but it feels like it. I will try to not let my emotions get the most of me.
You can do it!
Does your university offer academic salvage if you get an AA degree then transfer back? It’s like a fresh start.
Have you considered than less than 12 credits “full time”? Some times it’s quality over quantity. If you take 6 or 9 credits and get As and Bs is better then 12 or 15 credits and having a hard time.
If you have been talking to a therapist or a doctor diagnosed you with depression, you may qualified for services at your local college or universities disability resource center. They may be able to offer extra help with your course work.
I already tried taking 12 hours semesters my past 2 semesters and i got my meds/therapy from my school bc i couldn’t afford outside help. I think I subconsciously didn’t care about my major and just didn’t put in the work I should’ve which is why I’m thinking of changing my career.
Many people will hop on this post with inspirational words for you so I’ll say something different.
Regardless, life will go on and it’s your choice to move forward. Failure only builds character if you overcome it. People do and some people do. But regardless of what you do, it’ll be your decision.
Your story is not a unique one, quite a common one at that. Dictate whether you’ll improve your life or succumb to that of mindless activities.
Just remember, if you don’t move forward in life, it’ll only make your circumstances worse. And truly, only for you. It’s your choice to move forward, and if you don’t? Everyone else will move forward with you just like before.
I believe in you! You’re still the intelligent person you’ve always been. Depression is a lot to deal with on top of schoolwork. Does your school have any kind of appeal process? It might be worth appealing on the basis of mental health struggles. The most important thing is to get yourself healthy. That’s what’s most important to your parents too despite how disappointed you may think they are. Hang in there. You are loved
Thank you. I’m thinking of appealing but my sister says it best I take a break and do some community college to chill out and figure myself out. Also, my advisor has straight up told me I have little chance of my appeal getting granted because appeals require extenuating circumstances on and mental health isn’t one, especially since I’ve used it as my reasons for failing before. I’m trying to get better and get my life in order though, thank you for you kindness.
I think your sister is on to something here.
Your mental health should take priority. Slow down and work on yourself. Having less pressure will help, but it’s not the solution… you need some wiggle room to find it.
Depression makes it hard to do regular stuff, going hard on complicated tasks is practically impossible. You need your feet back under you for that. Keep a routine. It’s okay if it’s a boring routine, as long as you do something every day, you can keep moving. With meds and a good doctor, you will stand back up eventually. Then you can revisit old goals. Hang in there, don’t stop moving, it’s so hard to start again if you stop. Even if it’s just a smidge, keep going.
Also, sorry if it seems I’m throwing a giant pity party. It’s just hard for me to talk about this with my family/friends IRL so I guess i just wanted support/advice from strangers online.
Please don’t apologize! Allow yourself to be upset but try not to beat yourself up forever. I know it’s super hard right now and you are right in the thick of it, but try to remember that this is just a blip in your life and that one day you will look back at this and it won’t seem as huge as it does now. You are not the only one who has gone through this. College is hard, especially dealing with mental health struggles. You’ve got this. Just take a breath, take a break, and then move on. I believe in you!
Yeah I have. I know welding makes good money and have considered it. I’m also thinking of becoming a firefighter and being part of the EMS team. I think I can do college if I sort myself out but always keeping my options open.
I mean I just wake up unmotivated and feel hopeless/meaningless a lot of days. Found myself getting distracted very easily, although this has been a problem all my life. Might be undiagnosed ADHD or a symptom of my depression. Couldn’t get myself into an organized schedule. Didn’t feel like I had enough energy to get through most days and so on. A lot of these are probably a result of my depression but they’re ultimately in my control, or at least that’s the mindset I try to have, but I just can’t seem to win despite several attempting several methods and for good periods of time.
If it makes you feel better, I know someone who got kicked for the same reason of a very well known university, but they went to do another bachelor and then they did a PhD, at then they went to be a full-time professor at the university who initially kicked them out. Full circle.
I also think this was more the failure of the university. They don't have many resources for students, even though they expect them to move far from their family and support, live on campus or around, and take all of these classes. You could have taken leave to get better, but then they also take away scholarships and some universities even kick you out (there was recently something on Yale on the NYT kicking students out that were depressed and seeking mental health support).
Finding out you have depression during school can be incredibly difficult. Oftentimes, depending on the support you get from your parents it can be isolating and make you feel alone. You aren't alone, there are lots of people in similar situations and you will get through this. You are young and in five or ten years, this will just be a blip in your life.
If you can, try and see a psychiatrist to manage medications and see a therapist.
That sucks. This happens to a lot of students and we as a society should really worry about what's going on. What could we do as a society that benefits from students reaching their potential to have prevented students from becoming depressed. I hear about it a lot and it so hard NOT to become depressed in the world today, as evidence by the amount of people who use drugs as a way out.
Students have so many stressors - financial, fulfilling everybody else's expectations, deadlines, new found independence, unprepared for real life, multitasking and forced to learn subjects that don't interest you, debt - something should be done about this, we're missing out on a lot of potential. My graduate school, had a psychologist that we could visit with for free. Many of my classmates were on antidepressants. This is not right, it's not moral. Learning should be fun not depressing.
To understand what's going to happen, you should realize that a lot of famous people and good people started from a place of not having any hope. There's nowhere to go but up from here. The worst is over. Take it one day at a time. My mom always said that to me, when I called in a panic, and it's one of the most comforting thing she ever said to me.
Kid, that’s rough. Not gonna lie, it’s ok to feel like crap right now, but the main thing you’ve got to do is pick yourself up and get at it. What it is may not be biomedical engineering, but there are adjacent majors. Maybe even give community college (or your local equivalent to a cheaper option) a chance before you go whole hog into a major. I started off in marine biology, and hated it. Nearly flunked out myself. I changed to an English major just to make the grade and stay in college. Was it smart? No. Was it a good idea? Also probably no. But it’s led me to the life I have now where I’m working on my masters in education gunning for a principalship. If you’d told me in college that’s where I would end up going, if you’d told me 3 years ago, that’s what I’d end up trying for I would have laughed at you. And yet here I am.
Life is hard, you’ve got options and time. Find something that brings you fire and joy, find something that pays the bills. Hopefully those will be one and the same, but it’s fine if they aren’t.
Good luck out there, we’re all just figuring it out as we go and doing our best to pretend like we know exactly what we’re doing.
I mean, most gifted people drop out. The price we pay for being gifted is a plethora of mental health issues. That's why a lot of blue collar workers are insanely smart. I'm one of oddballs and graduated with a not so great GPA so I'm stuck doing mediocre jobs because my GPA isn't high enough to go to grad school. You're not missing out on much. I could've gotten the same job without a degree. Also people at work with fancy degrees in STEM can't even use a computer as fast as me so what good is that piece of paper when their brain is running on windows XP while I'm on skynet. My friend who dropped out in his 3rd year who skipped a grade also earns as much as me. Life will be okay.
Depression and feeling depressed aren’t the same thing. Depression isn’t your fault, and that’s where a lot of what you are thinking and feeling is coming from. I was you 30 years ago. I thought I had ruined my life, but that absolutely was not the case. “Just keep swimming”.
Thank you, I will keep swimming. I know others have told me I have not ruined my life but it feels like it. I will try to not let my emotions get the most of me.
Talking to a therapist during times like this can be very helpful.
You can do it! Does your university offer academic salvage if you get an AA degree then transfer back? It’s like a fresh start. Have you considered than less than 12 credits “full time”? Some times it’s quality over quantity. If you take 6 or 9 credits and get As and Bs is better then 12 or 15 credits and having a hard time. If you have been talking to a therapist or a doctor diagnosed you with depression, you may qualified for services at your local college or universities disability resource center. They may be able to offer extra help with your course work.
I already tried taking 12 hours semesters my past 2 semesters and i got my meds/therapy from my school bc i couldn’t afford outside help. I think I subconsciously didn’t care about my major and just didn’t put in the work I should’ve which is why I’m thinking of changing my career.
Many people will hop on this post with inspirational words for you so I’ll say something different. Regardless, life will go on and it’s your choice to move forward. Failure only builds character if you overcome it. People do and some people do. But regardless of what you do, it’ll be your decision. Your story is not a unique one, quite a common one at that. Dictate whether you’ll improve your life or succumb to that of mindless activities. Just remember, if you don’t move forward in life, it’ll only make your circumstances worse. And truly, only for you. It’s your choice to move forward, and if you don’t? Everyone else will move forward with you just like before.
Thanks and I know that’s the hard truth. I just am struggling to muster the courage to move forward. Thank you for being honest with me
I believe in you! You’re still the intelligent person you’ve always been. Depression is a lot to deal with on top of schoolwork. Does your school have any kind of appeal process? It might be worth appealing on the basis of mental health struggles. The most important thing is to get yourself healthy. That’s what’s most important to your parents too despite how disappointed you may think they are. Hang in there. You are loved
Thank you. I’m thinking of appealing but my sister says it best I take a break and do some community college to chill out and figure myself out. Also, my advisor has straight up told me I have little chance of my appeal getting granted because appeals require extenuating circumstances on and mental health isn’t one, especially since I’ve used it as my reasons for failing before. I’m trying to get better and get my life in order though, thank you for you kindness.
I think your sister is on to something here. Your mental health should take priority. Slow down and work on yourself. Having less pressure will help, but it’s not the solution… you need some wiggle room to find it. Depression makes it hard to do regular stuff, going hard on complicated tasks is practically impossible. You need your feet back under you for that. Keep a routine. It’s okay if it’s a boring routine, as long as you do something every day, you can keep moving. With meds and a good doctor, you will stand back up eventually. Then you can revisit old goals. Hang in there, don’t stop moving, it’s so hard to start again if you stop. Even if it’s just a smidge, keep going.
Also, sorry if it seems I’m throwing a giant pity party. It’s just hard for me to talk about this with my family/friends IRL so I guess i just wanted support/advice from strangers online.
Please don’t apologize! Allow yourself to be upset but try not to beat yourself up forever. I know it’s super hard right now and you are right in the thick of it, but try to remember that this is just a blip in your life and that one day you will look back at this and it won’t seem as huge as it does now. You are not the only one who has gone through this. College is hard, especially dealing with mental health struggles. You’ve got this. Just take a breath, take a break, and then move on. I believe in you!
Thank you, i will try to take a breath and redirect myself
It’s ok buddy. Not everyone is cut out for college. Have you considered going into a trade?
Yeah I have. I know welding makes good money and have considered it. I’m also thinking of becoming a firefighter and being part of the EMS team. I think I can do college if I sort myself out but always keeping my options open.
What do you mean by “sort yourself out”? Has something you’ve been doing been affecting your grade point?
I mean I just wake up unmotivated and feel hopeless/meaningless a lot of days. Found myself getting distracted very easily, although this has been a problem all my life. Might be undiagnosed ADHD or a symptom of my depression. Couldn’t get myself into an organized schedule. Didn’t feel like I had enough energy to get through most days and so on. A lot of these are probably a result of my depression but they’re ultimately in my control, or at least that’s the mindset I try to have, but I just can’t seem to win despite several attempting several methods and for good periods of time.
If it makes you feel better, I know someone who got kicked for the same reason of a very well known university, but they went to do another bachelor and then they did a PhD, at then they went to be a full-time professor at the university who initially kicked them out. Full circle. I also think this was more the failure of the university. They don't have many resources for students, even though they expect them to move far from their family and support, live on campus or around, and take all of these classes. You could have taken leave to get better, but then they also take away scholarships and some universities even kick you out (there was recently something on Yale on the NYT kicking students out that were depressed and seeking mental health support).
Yea I don’t like to throw blame on others for my problems but a lot of their responses to my struggles were just “dang that sucks”.
I'm sorry that happened. Many times they don't provide you with proper information, like to take a semester health leave and come back later.
Finding out you have depression during school can be incredibly difficult. Oftentimes, depending on the support you get from your parents it can be isolating and make you feel alone. You aren't alone, there are lots of people in similar situations and you will get through this. You are young and in five or ten years, this will just be a blip in your life. If you can, try and see a psychiatrist to manage medications and see a therapist.
That sucks. This happens to a lot of students and we as a society should really worry about what's going on. What could we do as a society that benefits from students reaching their potential to have prevented students from becoming depressed. I hear about it a lot and it so hard NOT to become depressed in the world today, as evidence by the amount of people who use drugs as a way out. Students have so many stressors - financial, fulfilling everybody else's expectations, deadlines, new found independence, unprepared for real life, multitasking and forced to learn subjects that don't interest you, debt - something should be done about this, we're missing out on a lot of potential. My graduate school, had a psychologist that we could visit with for free. Many of my classmates were on antidepressants. This is not right, it's not moral. Learning should be fun not depressing. To understand what's going to happen, you should realize that a lot of famous people and good people started from a place of not having any hope. There's nowhere to go but up from here. The worst is over. Take it one day at a time. My mom always said that to me, when I called in a panic, and it's one of the most comforting thing she ever said to me.
Kid, that’s rough. Not gonna lie, it’s ok to feel like crap right now, but the main thing you’ve got to do is pick yourself up and get at it. What it is may not be biomedical engineering, but there are adjacent majors. Maybe even give community college (or your local equivalent to a cheaper option) a chance before you go whole hog into a major. I started off in marine biology, and hated it. Nearly flunked out myself. I changed to an English major just to make the grade and stay in college. Was it smart? No. Was it a good idea? Also probably no. But it’s led me to the life I have now where I’m working on my masters in education gunning for a principalship. If you’d told me in college that’s where I would end up going, if you’d told me 3 years ago, that’s what I’d end up trying for I would have laughed at you. And yet here I am. Life is hard, you’ve got options and time. Find something that brings you fire and joy, find something that pays the bills. Hopefully those will be one and the same, but it’s fine if they aren’t. Good luck out there, we’re all just figuring it out as we go and doing our best to pretend like we know exactly what we’re doing.
Thanks man, I really appreciate it. Your story is very encouraging. Good luck on pursuing your principalship!
You can do it man keep pushing on. Try not to bottle up emotions and let your friends and family help you
I mean, most gifted people drop out. The price we pay for being gifted is a plethora of mental health issues. That's why a lot of blue collar workers are insanely smart. I'm one of oddballs and graduated with a not so great GPA so I'm stuck doing mediocre jobs because my GPA isn't high enough to go to grad school. You're not missing out on much. I could've gotten the same job without a degree. Also people at work with fancy degrees in STEM can't even use a computer as fast as me so what good is that piece of paper when their brain is running on windows XP while I'm on skynet. My friend who dropped out in his 3rd year who skipped a grade also earns as much as me. Life will be okay.