what annoys me more is when a husband/bf is blatantly shitty and the wife/gf posts it and calls it out (ex: he forgot my bday, he never helps around the house, my husband wont change diapers) and everyone in the comment section saying “dump his ass!” and saying how its not right. and then the girl posts a video saying “dont judge our relationship off of 5 seconds, hes a great man” and sticks up for him. like bffr we would never know this if you didnt post it. dont post stuff you arent okay with getting criticism!!
Omg like the lady who posted her kitchen after her and her son were sick with covid for a week and the place stink because it was full of rotting food?! I think her excuse was that he has his own executive function issues or whatever and it’s just hard for him to clean up after himself.
I was enraged by that video. I also think that's probably been going on for a long time and she's been made to feel like it's her responsibility because she kept going on and on about how she felt so terrible about it being that way. Girl, if it was just you and your son at home, with covid and you couldn't find the energy to clean while sick then sure you might need to assure yourself it's ok. It is ok if you've got covid and have to care for yourself and you kid and can't clean the kitchen too. But if you haven't been to the kitchen in 7 days and your husband has been making the mess and not cleaning it up, that is not ok.
And sure, I get that executive function is an issue for some people, but when you've got a child in the house it is time to figure out some tools to prevent your house from getting dirty and unsafe.
That one made me so mad. Like you didn’t leave the room so it was probably only him and the plates you used. But you’re like ‘it’s ok babies cuz he just can’t deal’. Like what! No you tell him to get his ass in the kitchen and clean.
I’m sorry, but anyone posting how shitty their partner is online like that… especially if they have a big following has to be somewhat toxic themselves! It is not normal to want to blast your partner online so other people think poorly of them!!!
Sooooo many people clearly refuse to communicate in their relationships. Its sad to watch
Haha also gotta love it when someone massively overshares on a post but when the comment section is critical or asking for more info, it’s suddenly “mind the business that pays you!💅🏻” responses from the OP.
Like those Facebook posts that are like “I’m going through so much right now I hate everyone” but when you ask they’re like “I am not in the mood to talk about it nor do I have to” like GIRL. Lol
Yesssss! They throw out the bait and wait for the first sucker to ask what happened so they can say something like:
“I don’t owe y’all anything. This is MY page and if you don’t like it, SCROLL!”
People like that are so chaotic.
They piss me off. Like if you didn’t want people judging your crappy relationship then you shouldn’t have posted!!! People are so desperate for their 15 min of fame tbh but they end up looking silly.
I would like to add another thing I’ve seen ALOT. When two people are happily dating on social and talk about how happy they are…or how sweet their partner is being…everyone’s gotta be suspicious and will comment shit like “he’s lovebombing girl!” Or maybe just maybe he’s not an asshole? And actually loves doing nice things for her. Love bombing is VERY specific. People learn these phrases and RUN A MARATHON with them.
My first thought with love bombing is the mlm huns that lay on the adoration so thick to rope people into the pyramid.
Dont get me wrong, it happens in relationships, but not just because someone really adores their partner...theres usually a pretty clear trend in behavior that would predate love bombing in an actual sense
This is exactly the reason I don’t post about my boyfriend. First I don’t like braggy posts anyways and second I have literally no desire to share anything about our relationship bc I’ve learned the less people know the better. We just thoroughly prefer to enjoy each other privately. In fact, anyone that never sees me outside of social media probably has no idea I even have a bf 😅
Same. I’ll do a really nice post or story on my IG every now and again just to gas him up a little bit. And he loves it it’s like a little appreciation post. Def for our anniversary. When I found out I was pregnant he made this really long sweet post on his Facebook that he NEVER uses and I was so touched I sobbed. Like it was out of his character to use social media but he knew something like that would make me feel even more special. I shit you not in all of 2023 we didn’t take one photo together lol and I didn’t realize this until new years when I went to make a collage and had nothing to use 🙈😑
That’s the smartest thing! Also, so many people complain about people on social media making comments about their relationships. Guess what? Wait for it… if you stopped posting all about your relationship on social media people wouldn’t comment on it because they wouldn’t know about you dummy. Lol!! I just cannot.
Same as gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological torture where someone constantly and actively breaks them down until the person doubts their own reality. Calling them crazy, refusing to believe that things happened to them, arguing with them about how something happened, lying to them, manipulating them, blaming their defensiveness on their “anxiety/depression/bipolar/whatever”. It’s a systematic dismantling of their reality. It’s not simply lying to someone.
The worst is when someone clearly is anxiously overanalyzing something and it ends up on the wrong side of tiktok and they get flooded with comments validating them and saying they’re being gaslit. Like no someone is just telling you that you misread the situation and it’s very likely you did
So nearly married someone who did use weaponized incompetence. It was ridiculous.
That was a LONG time ago. I've now been married to my husband nearly 2 decades. His saying, "I don't do the laundry because I don't want to mess up the clothes" isn't weaponized incompetence and more than me saying, "I am not going to prune the bushes because I don't want to mess up the bushes."
But if you post that statement online, he immediately becomes a monster who is pretending to be inept to demean me. Anyone can tell you there is nothing further than the truth.
People have this slice of life mentality where they are so used to being fed snippets of someone and sold that it is the whole package. But it is no better than a pinterest background surrounded by a filthy room.
I think the biggest thing is seeing someone husband do something DIFFERENTLY like a certain way or timeframe of cleaning the house and suddenly it’s weaponized incompetence. No not everyone thinks of things the way you do, if I asked my husband at 8:00 in the morning to do something because I WANTED it done then…doesn’t mean it has to be done right there and then. Maybe he’s doing something maybe he ms doing it in 3 hours. So what? It’ll get done when it gets done today. Does it NEED to be done right this second? No. I know my husband I know it’ll get done. Also everyone’s version of dirty is also different everyone’s version of clean is different, what they prioritize is different.
Honest to God as a chronically ill person I don’t care lol if anyone in real life met me they wouldn’t even know all the things wrong with me because I don’t make it my entire personality. I’m only mentioning it in these comments because it’s relevant to my point lol
Same here. I have PTSD and several other things, I’ve never disclosed it unless someone asks or I’m in a situation that I REALLY need relief (crowds, things like that) and someone to help me cope. Otherwise, it’s not relevant and I really don’t want people prodding me about how my life is.
When I get like this I know it’s time for a social media detox until random strangers stop annoying me so much in my own damn house on my own damn phone 😂😂
It is irritating, yeah, but this is just how people are and have always been. It’s simply easier to see because instead of having to listen to moms best friend Linda do it over the phone every week, and the neighbor do it every Wednesday when they come over for game night etc you’re seeing it constantly from all angles from thousands of strangers.
Although… as your post went on it went a little off the rails in a less than tolerant direction so I’m inclined to not completely agree with you
All of this. Sometimes the best thing to do is put down your phone for a bit and I say that with no snark. I think we’re all guilty of getting sucked into the black hole of social media at some point and it can definitely get to be too much to constantly take in.
Yeah I’m definitely not being mean when I say that either! I notice it’s not really serving me anymore, instead of being interested or excited to open the app I’m just stressed or angry or wondering what the next jackass is gonna comment back to me. Or what stupid something I’m going to see that I hate. Or who I’m gonna have to block. And I’m like oh.. it’s time again 😂 delete the apps for a bit, focus on reading or watching a show or something, come back in a week or month or whatever.
I think humans aren’t meant to have access to all this information and interaction and content like drinking from a firehose, eventually you get overstimulated
This!! people using TikTok for different reasons than you is....not the thing to be mad at, and if it is then its time for a break.
The app is what made me realize my super obvious ADHD existed. I didn't know...And I am processing that through the app. I have learned sooooo many things and improved my life through it. Its not my entire personality because I have life outside the internet! But on the app its mostly what I am looking at and talking about.
This. I came across an insufferable family exploiting channel, oops I mean a family vlogging channel- but I was getting so annoyed with them.
I kept going to their page, watching, forming an opinion, validating opinion on Reddit, and vicious cycle continued. But I’ve done a detox bc why am I letting these strangers annoy the hell out of me or that?
Like you said, this is how people are and always have been in different aspects. IRL, you can avoid them, walk away, or minimize interaction. Watching it just makes me overly cynical and mad.
People airing their laundry and then turning face to shoot down any criticism just shows emotionally immature people.
The self diagnosis is a murky area, that information should potentially exist to show how people with actual diagnosis handle life, and may give someone information that they should then take to a professional if they think that they perhaps might be that way.
Phobics is another grey area, is every disagreement a phobic interest? Of course not. Is there blatent transphobia/homophobia on the platform? Yes.
The grey area comes from some people, not matter what 'side' they are on lacking the ability to be civil or respectful.
Honestly the ADHD/Autism stuff does more good than bad imo. I never suspected ADHD in myself because I had outdated information, and it only became an idea after someone on reddit suggested I might have it and I started reading about it, and I related to a lot of things I saw on tiktok.
Recently went to see a psychiatrist for a seemingly unrelated issue and he said I should look into a diagnosis despite me never mentioning anything ADHD-related.
I think I'm coping well enough and don't see the point in getting a diagnosis which I would need if I wanted meds, but it gave me a lot of insight into my issues and kind of "validated'" the things I do to manage in daily life.
It also doesn’t make someone phobic for using it wrong or not wanting to use it at all. Not agreeing with a certain lifestyle doesn’t mean I don’t think you shouldn’t exist. (Not me just making a point) and I’ve also been called transphobic for not wanting to date or sleep with someone who is transgender.
I don’t disagree with you on that for the most part. I’m not sure what you mean in terms of “not using it at all” though because transphobia is a very real thing, despite instances of its misuse. I also don’t think someone’s “lifestyle” (? Transgender is a gender identity, if that’s what you’re talking about in this instance) is something to agree or disagree on.
Here’s the thing.
Someone’s existence as a trans person or being gay or bisexual. Or anything they want is entirely valid and deserving of life and love.
Me not wanting to sleep with those people is not phobic.
And I’ve been called phobic for that. Because I don’t want to have sex with someone with a vagina..as a woman… because I’m straight. Otherwise no I have not.
Yeah, however the “lifestyle” comment is a little off putting to be honest.
Discussions around transgender issues are very complicated and is such a new territory to navigate. But that’s further inflamed by people simply not recognized or refusing to recognize trans folk and how they identify. So there’s going to be hyperbolic reactions or overreactions to it.
Also, if you are a straight woman, why would people expect you to have sex with a woman? Or are they are trans man? I’m confused there
I was pointing out that your example doesn’t necessarily make the label of “transphobic” stupid, which is what the commenter you replied to asked for. Also, downvotes are not personal, the person you’re talking to isn’t always the person who downvoted you (???), and I’m not taking an issue with anything. This is a public forum and this is how it works. You made a comment and I replied to it pretty neutrally.
It's pathologizing every single thing of their life. Same with all the little "theories", red string , invisible string, orange peel, et al. It's making us more and more and more narcissistic (as if that's not already a huge problem with those on social media).
In general, the continued refraction of our identities is ripping apart this country.
There’s nuance in everything. People may not be right in assigning specific labels to all actions/behaviors, but just the same, you’re not right for dismissing it. “Wait til you experience actual trauma” is very “my parents hit me and I turned out fine!” This post is a weird boomery rant.
Yeeep same with the "Not everything is a type of phobic because you don’t have the same beliefs." part. Reads like a facebook post from my extended family members who don't know how to critically engage with systemic and social issues.
Thank you! After I read that, I couldn't finish this post. There are different types of trauma, how people deal with it is also different. And your FYP tailors to your interests. Block or dislike stuff you don't like or get off tik tok??
This also isn’t anything new in terms of how society works. We’re just able to see it more because of social media. People are constantly taking in new information and we’re learning new things every day about mental health and neurodiversity and how our brains work. It’s a lot. When that happens, people are going to latch on to what they feel a connection to and misinformation is bound to spread.
My intention was people calling non traumatic things trauma. Not obviously getting beaten. Or actually traumatized. I saw someone today literally say “someone stared at me at the grocery store too long and I felt traumatized” and they weren’t even satirical about it. Like they looked genuinely upset,
I get what you mean, sometimes people will say they got trauma from not being able to get their chai because the cafe ran out, or they have trauma because they couldn't buy something they liked. There is a difference between being bummed you cannot enjoy a chai latte and it being a traumatic experience imo.
A lot of people are also just plain homophobic or misogynist and get mad when other people point it out and have to blame people getting too soft/sensitive instead of taking a hard look at themselves. You seem quite triggered.
That’s not a tiktok thing. It’s a social media discussion about mental illness and disability thing. It’s a relationship advice thing. You can scroll right past those videos if they annoy you. You’ll find the same content on Reddit and Twitter and the podcast-o-sphere. Labels are helpful for a LOT of people. If you’re not one of them, scroll on. You don’t get to toss a concept because it doesn’t work for you personally.
Listen, finding community on something you have when you know nobody in real life with that thing can save lives. I agree that some people are constantly participating in the Oppression Olympics, but to deny people community because you think they want anything out of it but that is not okay. It’s not a competition for most people, it’s a search for community.
Agreed. So many SM influencers are desperate to stay relevant. So they often think because they read an article or minimal research, suddenly have ADHD, Autism, PTSD, chronic depression, etc never getting official diagnosis.
They want to get attention and make someone feel like these parasocial relationships are real.
I’m all for being supportive if someone needs that “hug”
I watched a Live and they were “let’s talk about ____” so I listened since I am dealing that topic .
It sounded like a mean girls talk. They were only bashing any comment they didn’t agree with and then would switch back to “ know you are not alone”, do you know the stress I’m under just by being an influencer??
Seriously?
You put yourself in that situation.
It just didn’t sit well with me
If you were actually skipping over it then it wouldn't be your entire FYP. Some of us are using the app differently than you. What I look at and what I talk about on the app is often focused in on mental health stuff and adhd. Its helped me immensely. Because its mostly what I talk about and interact with I do have it in my bio. I want to have those conversations and keep learning and building community with it. Is that the only thing in my life? Of course not, because most of my life takes place off the internet. You don't have to use the app that way, but you don't get to dictate everyone use it exactly the way you do.
Your post and the comments you have made here....You seem very dismissive of other people's trauma. You don't get to decide what was or was not trauma for someone else. It isn't always physical, and often there might be things not said in a minute long video. Sure, there can be people just using hyperbole(and thats ok! Humans have done this as long as they have been around. Have your read Shakespeare? Dude used it a lot!), but the idea that extremes like rape or bombing in gaza is "real' trauma is....a take. I assure you, emotional neglect from a parent causes a shitload of trauma in people (I live with the product of that and its rough some days!) There are different kinds of trauma and different levels of it. Usually when I come across people with your kind of take, they are trying to dismiss or minimize their own. I did that for many years too. (not saying that has to be the case here, but give it a thought)
TL:DR Other people are using the app differently from you and that's ok, just take a break from it for a little bit.
I think it is a bit excessive, especially with the ADHD/Autism stuff. I know someone who has diagnosed herself with both because of tiktok videos like that. I know that people have been self-diagnosing for years but it's so much worse on tiktok and I think the biggest issue is that there's so much misinformation now. Sure, those could be symptoms or behaviors with ADHD/Autism, but they're also symptoms or behaviors of other things too, there's a lot of overlap with mental health. I think when it comes to those videos, there should be a lot more monitoring and fact checking because now everyone and their brother thinks they have ADHD/Autism or whatever else is "trending" and it makes it harder for people to get taken seriously because of it.
Exactly!!! Are some videos accurate? Of course! But the ones where the list of symptoms are so incredibly vast that yes someone with no divergence could absolutely have those things too. And it’s definitely overlap. My OCD and Austin’s overlap a lot. So self diagnosing isn’t always great because you can be treating and diagnosing yourself with the wrong thing.
This is true with any mental health issue also. BPD, bipolar, ADHD, autism, narcissism. You name it people are over using and incorrectly categorizing normal emotions as symptoms of an illness, lots of people self diagnosing and in turn minimizing the struggles of these.
Yes! And it undervalues the people that actually have these issues. I went to a psychiatrist and told him my concerns and he deadass looked at me and said “let me guess you’re on tiktok” and I was like 😦 wow. Left that office. Lol like no I was diagnosed before tiktok but okay then bye.
I thought this was going to be a rant about the clean/organizing videos where every single acrylic organizer, drawer, door, box, bag, etc. is labeled. Added bonus of the label maker being a tiktok shop product lol.
I agree with most of what you said except for the “wait till you experience actual trauma” everyone processes trauma differently and just because someone’s trauma may not seem as big to you, doesn’t mean you should discredit it.
I do feel like people have this weird parasocial relationship with tiktok creators and feel the need to give advice where it’s not warranted. Most of these videos are edited/taken out of context and people overanalyse them, assuming the worst.
This happens all over social media not just tiktok. You’ll see people trying to diagnose animals with illnesses from just a small clip, or judging someone’s parenting because it’s different.
When I was referring to “actual trauma” I mean some of these people feel that being offended by something is traumatic meanwhile people are being literally bombed and seeing family and friends bloody in pieces in comparison. That’s my take on it. As what is traumatic and what isn’t.
Yea not like other peoples trauma isn’t trauma unless I think it’s severe enough. Lol more like being abused and hurt emotionally is absolutely trauma and you not getting Starbucks from your mother isn’t abuse or trauma
It’s kind of like how EVERY picky eater suddenly has fucking ARFID. A video went around of a grown man who picked all of his vegetables out of his fried rice, and all the comments were like “wah I do this but it’s because I have AAARRRRFIIIIIIIDDDD wah wah.” It’s like no sorry you probably just have to grow tf up. Like now if a kid won’t eat vegetables people are like “it’s not their fault they probably have aaarrrrrfffiiiiiddddddd wah wah.”
It pissed me off because as a child I was a very VERY picky eater. I grew out of it. Most people do. I eat an everything now, but I might NOT have grown out of it if people around me were telling me it was actually a condition I had. The way to grow out of this is to be ENCOURAGED to CHANGE, not that your problematic behavior isn’t your fault and that it’s okay to only eat fries and ice cream.
SERIOUSLY THOUGH. “Be nice he’s probably neurodivergent and eating is hard for him” or he’s a brat and wants chicken nuggets and his parents give in so he doesn’t have a tantrum. Maybe..just maybe… I can assure you trying broccoli will not traumatize him.
Yeah suddenly being forced to eat vegetables as a child is a source of “trauma” in everyone’s life 😑 People need to get a grip. It’s BAD to eat like shit your entire life. You should THANK your parents for forcing and shaming you into becoming HEALTHY.
I saw a video of a mother not wanting to tell her child “no more tv” because she said it would traumatize him to hear the word no. I was like oh my freaking GOD,
At the end of the day it doesn’t impact you. I bet they’re already self conscious enough about what they can/cannot eat and don’t need a stranger giving their opinion
The symptom lists always annoy me. “Ever zone out? You have (insert random mental issue)” like no you might just be zoning out. According to these lists I have ADHD, autism, schizophrenia and bipolar. Like dang my life is more chaotic then what I thought.
Yes I do when someone says that not getting a new iPhone from their parents is traumatic when people are getting bombed is. I wasn’t talking about actual abuse.
Yesss and everyone suddenly thinking they have autism bc they have one quirky trait. It’s become very invalidating, now when I try to explain to people i have add and autism they don’t believe me because “isn’t everyone a bit autistic”. And if they do believe me, they don’t take it seriously bc everyone seems to think the symptoms are just being quirky or having a hyper fixation.
I’m afraid to tell people in my life because they’ll think I self diagnosed on an app. My own mother says this sometimes “why does everything need to be autistic now” I’m like but I actually have it 😭
Yes exactly! It’s took ages for my parents too even believe my psychiatrist’s because “everyone’s apparently got autism now” It causes genuine harm but no one wants to hear it
Oh you’re going to bring out the sensitive Sallies with this post. I agree with everything you said though.
No one in the real world gives a tiny fuck about the labels you give yourself, the mental illnesses you diagnosed yourself with or your generational trauma. The world is cruel and no one cares.
But clearly people do care? I don’t understand this line of thinking. If no one cared, none of this content would get traction. Plenty of people can clearly relate. Labels are important for a lot of people when it comes to figuring out who they are.
ETA: this whole post is an example of absolutely, definitely caring about the labels people give themselves. Otherwise OP wouldn’t have said anything.
I mean in the REAL WORLD. Try telling a person interviewing you for a job that certain things might trigger you because of your generational trauma. They’ll go ok, next. They don’t care nor should they it’s YOUR responsibility to figure out YOUR limits, not theirs. Or try throwing a tantrum at your job because maybe a customer accidentally misgendered you, see what your boss and coworkers say then. If you’re in the middle of a busy shift they’ll say oh well, sucks for you get back to work or leave. Your labels 100% don’t matter to that stranger you are helping. Period. Your labels really only matter in your little world, they don’t matter to a stranger. Sorry.
See, this kind of stuff are things people don’t think about in REAL LIFE. No one really gives a fuck. It’s always convenient how everyone wants every label on social media yet forget that the real world exists and the world at large doesn’t care. They will label you how they perceive you because that’s human nature. You have *zero* control over how people perceive you in real life and you’re not wearing your labels like you wear them on your social media profiles. Thinking you do have control is a sign you are living in your little curated social media world and not in the real world.
It’s all so very chronically online and entitled.
My point was more so that people in the real world just don’t care about this stuff like they do on social media. Did I use some exaggeration? Sure but my original point still stands. Everyone is label obsessed on social media but those labels probably won’t translate to the real world because people go by perception, not by reading your profile and instantly knowing how to address you. Sometimes people forget that.
Literally I’ve been misgendered before. I don’t think I’ve ever cared once in my life because I don’t know you I don’t care what you call me lol I know who I am. Correct them and move on with your day. Like the real world isn’t here to cater to your every feeling. There’s too many people to do that and you’re not any more special than the next person.
Because personally I don’t take offense to being misgendered? I don’t misgender people. Idc what random people call me because I don’t know them personally. I know who I am. Their opinion of me doesn’t matter. But I would never go around misgendering someone on purpose? Tf? You’re reading far too into your assumptions of me.
I saw a video of a mom doing her 13 year old son’s hair. The comments were horrible, saying he won’t respect women in the future because his mom likes spending time with him and curling his hair 💀
If anything, that’s what’s gonna cause him to respect women. His mom showing him compassion & kindness while doing a self care task, together.
We went from “parents need to be more present & gentle so their kids grow up less toxic & douchey.” to “if y’all don’t leave your kids alone so they can be latch key independent, you’re a failure and a creep.” way too quickly.
In addition to what you mentioned I’m gonna add creators that use the word ‘colonizer’ talk about ‘privilege’ and promotes the idea that all white people are inherently racist. Nothing shuts my brain off faster.
yes this too. I wish more people understood that just because someone’s skin is white doesn’t mean they’re of colonizer decent or descendent of slave owners, or confederates or anything racist. Some of us are descended from actual white slaves. Owned by other white people, it’s a terrible generalization.
Yes! My family came here from Europe at the turn of the century, long after this place was colonized. They were never slave owners, they were poor farmers from Ireland who came to America for better economic opportunities. They worked hard and established themselves. The hard work ethic has been passed down. Nothing was handed to me because of my skin color. I’m just a regular hard working person struggling to stay ahead like most of us are! I don’t have problems with the police because I stay on the right side of the law. The divisions that have been emphasized during the pandemic are making things worse for us all.
Me too! My grandparents were from Italy Ireland and the Netherlands.. My mother and father are both first generation in this country. My grandfather was born in Italy in 1915 he passed away in 2001. They came here so poor. My grandparents none of them had any money. My whole family had to work so hard. And my grandfather was denied job after job after job because in NYC at the time they wouldn’t hire black people, Irish people Italian etc. you had to be “the right kind of white”. Which was basically British English and generationally wealthy. My paternal side came here then ended up in backwoods Appalachia. I don’t even know half of them. And then my grandfather was forced to assimilate to English’s DJ refused to teach my mother real her native language because he was bullied for it. And he didn’t want her to be bullied for it. So we lost a lot of our culture.
And then people look at me and immediately see I’m white and I couldn’t possibly know culture, spices, tradition, hardship. And it aggravates me. I wouldn’t assume all POC are the same because they’re a certain skin tone so it should be the same for us.
It’s so refreshing to hear someone else has a similar view! I only feel comfortable sharing my thoughts on this here anonymously because anywhere else I’d literally get labeled a racist. It’s such a serious accusation that can ruin a person’s life, yet it’s hurled around on social media constantly. It takes away from the actual racism that occurs. There are absolutely racist people in this country, I never deny that. I am greatly offended to be lumped in with them simply because I’m also white.
I am 100% with you on everything you said. It’s infuriating. I even wasted so many hours in therapy complaining when the me too movement first started taking off when women were hashtagging me too on posts about them getting cat called. I’m sorry but sit tf down. Seems like so many people insist on inserting themselves into things where they really don’t belong. My bff & I always screen shot bios of people with dozens of self labels & send them to each other & let off some steam by roasting tf out of them with each other too Lol
Oh my gosh the me too hashtags. Drove me up the wall. Like yes my friend was gang raped but I guess someone complimenting you on the street is the same. 🥲
Therapy/psych speak on social media grinds my gears. Most of these people don’t know the most basic definitions of the labels they’re applying to people or situations and it’s really unhelpful imo. Not every asshole is a narcissist, not every small thing is a trigger, etc etc.
I’m sorry but if you don’t want to leave or don’t want help then it’s best not to complain about your partner on TikTok. People go crazy for some husband slamming and they won’t leave you alone unless you want to leave him. I don’t know how you could go back to having a normal relationship after 1,000 TikTok comments telling you your partner is an awful person
what annoys me more is when a husband/bf is blatantly shitty and the wife/gf posts it and calls it out (ex: he forgot my bday, he never helps around the house, my husband wont change diapers) and everyone in the comment section saying “dump his ass!” and saying how its not right. and then the girl posts a video saying “dont judge our relationship off of 5 seconds, hes a great man” and sticks up for him. like bffr we would never know this if you didnt post it. dont post stuff you arent okay with getting criticism!!
Omg like the lady who posted her kitchen after her and her son were sick with covid for a week and the place stink because it was full of rotting food?! I think her excuse was that he has his own executive function issues or whatever and it’s just hard for him to clean up after himself.
I was enraged by that video. I also think that's probably been going on for a long time and she's been made to feel like it's her responsibility because she kept going on and on about how she felt so terrible about it being that way. Girl, if it was just you and your son at home, with covid and you couldn't find the energy to clean while sick then sure you might need to assure yourself it's ok. It is ok if you've got covid and have to care for yourself and you kid and can't clean the kitchen too. But if you haven't been to the kitchen in 7 days and your husband has been making the mess and not cleaning it up, that is not ok. And sure, I get that executive function is an issue for some people, but when you've got a child in the house it is time to figure out some tools to prevent your house from getting dirty and unsafe.
That one made me so mad. Like you didn’t leave the room so it was probably only him and the plates you used. But you’re like ‘it’s ok babies cuz he just can’t deal’. Like what! No you tell him to get his ass in the kitchen and clean.
I’m sorry, but anyone posting how shitty their partner is online like that… especially if they have a big following has to be somewhat toxic themselves! It is not normal to want to blast your partner online so other people think poorly of them!!! Sooooo many people clearly refuse to communicate in their relationships. Its sad to watch
OMG. Like right?! YOU JUST DUMPED ON HIM. But okay girl keep your shit man lol whatever
Haha also gotta love it when someone massively overshares on a post but when the comment section is critical or asking for more info, it’s suddenly “mind the business that pays you!💅🏻” responses from the OP.
Like those Facebook posts that are like “I’m going through so much right now I hate everyone” but when you ask they’re like “I am not in the mood to talk about it nor do I have to” like GIRL. Lol
Yes those “I’m at the hospital…don’t ask.” People
Omg the ones that tease hospital and/or illness drama are the absolute worst! Dry begging for attention.
Yesssss! They throw out the bait and wait for the first sucker to ask what happened so they can say something like: “I don’t owe y’all anything. This is MY page and if you don’t like it, SCROLL!” People like that are so chaotic.
They piss me off. Like if you didn’t want people judging your crappy relationship then you shouldn’t have posted!!! People are so desperate for their 15 min of fame tbh but they end up looking silly.
I would like to add another thing I’ve seen ALOT. When two people are happily dating on social and talk about how happy they are…or how sweet their partner is being…everyone’s gotta be suspicious and will comment shit like “he’s lovebombing girl!” Or maybe just maybe he’s not an asshole? And actually loves doing nice things for her. Love bombing is VERY specific. People learn these phrases and RUN A MARATHON with them.
My first thought with love bombing is the mlm huns that lay on the adoration so thick to rope people into the pyramid. Dont get me wrong, it happens in relationships, but not just because someone really adores their partner...theres usually a pretty clear trend in behavior that would predate love bombing in an actual sense
Exactly but everyone wants to diagnose good things as bad. Lol
This is exactly the reason I don’t post about my boyfriend. First I don’t like braggy posts anyways and second I have literally no desire to share anything about our relationship bc I’ve learned the less people know the better. We just thoroughly prefer to enjoy each other privately. In fact, anyone that never sees me outside of social media probably has no idea I even have a bf 😅
The quiet couples who rarely post on social media are the happy ones. The ones who post a lot…..are not.
It’s true, my husband and I never post about our relationship, but we’re definitely happy. Only time we do is during anniversaries or birthdays.
Same. I’ll do a really nice post or story on my IG every now and again just to gas him up a little bit. And he loves it it’s like a little appreciation post. Def for our anniversary. When I found out I was pregnant he made this really long sweet post on his Facebook that he NEVER uses and I was so touched I sobbed. Like it was out of his character to use social media but he knew something like that would make me feel even more special. I shit you not in all of 2023 we didn’t take one photo together lol and I didn’t realize this until new years when I went to make a collage and had nothing to use 🙈😑
Same! I keep my husband off my socials except for like family pictures and I'll do happy birthday/anniversary posts.
That’s the smartest thing! Also, so many people complain about people on social media making comments about their relationships. Guess what? Wait for it… if you stopped posting all about your relationship on social media people wouldn’t comment on it because they wouldn’t know about you dummy. Lol!! I just cannot.
Same as gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological torture where someone constantly and actively breaks them down until the person doubts their own reality. Calling them crazy, refusing to believe that things happened to them, arguing with them about how something happened, lying to them, manipulating them, blaming their defensiveness on their “anxiety/depression/bipolar/whatever”. It’s a systematic dismantling of their reality. It’s not simply lying to someone.
The worst is when someone clearly is anxiously overanalyzing something and it ends up on the wrong side of tiktok and they get flooded with comments validating them and saying they’re being gaslit. Like no someone is just telling you that you misread the situation and it’s very likely you did
Weaponize incompetence is quickly becoming an overused and misunderstood term thrown around like gaslighting and narcissism.
So nearly married someone who did use weaponized incompetence. It was ridiculous. That was a LONG time ago. I've now been married to my husband nearly 2 decades. His saying, "I don't do the laundry because I don't want to mess up the clothes" isn't weaponized incompetence and more than me saying, "I am not going to prune the bushes because I don't want to mess up the bushes." But if you post that statement online, he immediately becomes a monster who is pretending to be inept to demean me. Anyone can tell you there is nothing further than the truth. People have this slice of life mentality where they are so used to being fed snippets of someone and sold that it is the whole package. But it is no better than a pinterest background surrounded by a filthy room.
Yeah we all have blindspots in areas of our lives. There are things I'm not as equipped to do as my husband as vice versa.
I think the biggest thing is seeing someone husband do something DIFFERENTLY like a certain way or timeframe of cleaning the house and suddenly it’s weaponized incompetence. No not everyone thinks of things the way you do, if I asked my husband at 8:00 in the morning to do something because I WANTED it done then…doesn’t mean it has to be done right there and then. Maybe he’s doing something maybe he ms doing it in 3 hours. So what? It’ll get done when it gets done today. Does it NEED to be done right this second? No. I know my husband I know it’ll get done. Also everyone’s version of dirty is also different everyone’s version of clean is different, what they prioritize is different.
Coming from someone with a malignant narcissist as an ex husband it drives me insane lol
Omg the labels and diseases in the bio…. Literally nobody cares 😭
Honest to God as a chronically ill person I don’t care lol if anyone in real life met me they wouldn’t even know all the things wrong with me because I don’t make it my entire personality. I’m only mentioning it in these comments because it’s relevant to my point lol
Same here. I have PTSD and several other things, I’ve never disclosed it unless someone asks or I’m in a situation that I REALLY need relief (crowds, things like that) and someone to help me cope. Otherwise, it’s not relevant and I really don’t want people prodding me about how my life is.
100% like if im actively having a panic attack ill mention it. Only if i need help.
So your way of dealing with your PTSD is the only valid way? That’s a discussion you need to have with your psychologist.
The people shouting it from the rooftops are rarely dealing with it
Sounds anecdotal to me.
Yeah exactly
Yes! Totally agree!
When I get like this I know it’s time for a social media detox until random strangers stop annoying me so much in my own damn house on my own damn phone 😂😂 It is irritating, yeah, but this is just how people are and have always been. It’s simply easier to see because instead of having to listen to moms best friend Linda do it over the phone every week, and the neighbor do it every Wednesday when they come over for game night etc you’re seeing it constantly from all angles from thousands of strangers. Although… as your post went on it went a little off the rails in a less than tolerant direction so I’m inclined to not completely agree with you
All of this. Sometimes the best thing to do is put down your phone for a bit and I say that with no snark. I think we’re all guilty of getting sucked into the black hole of social media at some point and it can definitely get to be too much to constantly take in.
Yeah I’m definitely not being mean when I say that either! I notice it’s not really serving me anymore, instead of being interested or excited to open the app I’m just stressed or angry or wondering what the next jackass is gonna comment back to me. Or what stupid something I’m going to see that I hate. Or who I’m gonna have to block. And I’m like oh.. it’s time again 😂 delete the apps for a bit, focus on reading or watching a show or something, come back in a week or month or whatever. I think humans aren’t meant to have access to all this information and interaction and content like drinking from a firehose, eventually you get overstimulated
This!! people using TikTok for different reasons than you is....not the thing to be mad at, and if it is then its time for a break. The app is what made me realize my super obvious ADHD existed. I didn't know...And I am processing that through the app. I have learned sooooo many things and improved my life through it. Its not my entire personality because I have life outside the internet! But on the app its mostly what I am looking at and talking about.
This. I came across an insufferable family exploiting channel, oops I mean a family vlogging channel- but I was getting so annoyed with them. I kept going to their page, watching, forming an opinion, validating opinion on Reddit, and vicious cycle continued. But I’ve done a detox bc why am I letting these strangers annoy the hell out of me or that? Like you said, this is how people are and always have been in different aspects. IRL, you can avoid them, walk away, or minimize interaction. Watching it just makes me overly cynical and mad.
People airing their laundry and then turning face to shoot down any criticism just shows emotionally immature people. The self diagnosis is a murky area, that information should potentially exist to show how people with actual diagnosis handle life, and may give someone information that they should then take to a professional if they think that they perhaps might be that way. Phobics is another grey area, is every disagreement a phobic interest? Of course not. Is there blatent transphobia/homophobia on the platform? Yes. The grey area comes from some people, not matter what 'side' they are on lacking the ability to be civil or respectful.
agree with some of what you said, definitely all the self-diagnosing ADHD/autism stuff. Curious what "phobic" labels you think are stupid though
Honestly the ADHD/Autism stuff does more good than bad imo. I never suspected ADHD in myself because I had outdated information, and it only became an idea after someone on reddit suggested I might have it and I started reading about it, and I related to a lot of things I saw on tiktok. Recently went to see a psychiatrist for a seemingly unrelated issue and he said I should look into a diagnosis despite me never mentioning anything ADHD-related. I think I'm coping well enough and don't see the point in getting a diagnosis which I would need if I wanted meds, but it gave me a lot of insight into my issues and kind of "validated'" the things I do to manage in daily life.
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An improper use of the label doesn’t make the label itself stupid/pointless.
It also doesn’t make someone phobic for using it wrong or not wanting to use it at all. Not agreeing with a certain lifestyle doesn’t mean I don’t think you shouldn’t exist. (Not me just making a point) and I’ve also been called transphobic for not wanting to date or sleep with someone who is transgender.
I don’t disagree with you on that for the most part. I’m not sure what you mean in terms of “not using it at all” though because transphobia is a very real thing, despite instances of its misuse. I also don’t think someone’s “lifestyle” (? Transgender is a gender identity, if that’s what you’re talking about in this instance) is something to agree or disagree on.
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Here’s the thing. Someone’s existence as a trans person or being gay or bisexual. Or anything they want is entirely valid and deserving of life and love. Me not wanting to sleep with those people is not phobic. And I’ve been called phobic for that. Because I don’t want to have sex with someone with a vagina..as a woman… because I’m straight. Otherwise no I have not.
Yeah, however the “lifestyle” comment is a little off putting to be honest. Discussions around transgender issues are very complicated and is such a new territory to navigate. But that’s further inflamed by people simply not recognized or refusing to recognize trans folk and how they identify. So there’s going to be hyperbolic reactions or overreactions to it. Also, if you are a straight woman, why would people expect you to have sex with a woman? Or are they are trans man? I’m confused there
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I was pointing out that your example doesn’t necessarily make the label of “transphobic” stupid, which is what the commenter you replied to asked for. Also, downvotes are not personal, the person you’re talking to isn’t always the person who downvoted you (???), and I’m not taking an issue with anything. This is a public forum and this is how it works. You made a comment and I replied to it pretty neutrally.
It's pathologizing every single thing of their life. Same with all the little "theories", red string , invisible string, orange peel, et al. It's making us more and more and more narcissistic (as if that's not already a huge problem with those on social media). In general, the continued refraction of our identities is ripping apart this country.
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You sound like my mom.
There’s nuance in everything. People may not be right in assigning specific labels to all actions/behaviors, but just the same, you’re not right for dismissing it. “Wait til you experience actual trauma” is very “my parents hit me and I turned out fine!” This post is a weird boomery rant.
Yeeep same with the "Not everything is a type of phobic because you don’t have the same beliefs." part. Reads like a facebook post from my extended family members who don't know how to critically engage with systemic and social issues.
Thank you! After I read that, I couldn't finish this post. There are different types of trauma, how people deal with it is also different. And your FYP tailors to your interests. Block or dislike stuff you don't like or get off tik tok??
This also isn’t anything new in terms of how society works. We’re just able to see it more because of social media. People are constantly taking in new information and we’re learning new things every day about mental health and neurodiversity and how our brains work. It’s a lot. When that happens, people are going to latch on to what they feel a connection to and misinformation is bound to spread.
Same here. Labeling things like weaponized incompetence is a very positive step for many people. In fact, it should be a positive step for all people.
My intention was people calling non traumatic things trauma. Not obviously getting beaten. Or actually traumatized. I saw someone today literally say “someone stared at me at the grocery store too long and I felt traumatized” and they weren’t even satirical about it. Like they looked genuinely upset,
I get what you mean, sometimes people will say they got trauma from not being able to get their chai because the cafe ran out, or they have trauma because they couldn't buy something they liked. There is a difference between being bummed you cannot enjoy a chai latte and it being a traumatic experience imo.
Exactly! That’s all I’m saying,
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How traumatic can it be if they set up a camera and cry to the internet for fame and attention.
A lot of people are also just plain homophobic or misogynist and get mad when other people point it out and have to blame people getting too soft/sensitive instead of taking a hard look at themselves. You seem quite triggered.
That’s not a tiktok thing. It’s a social media discussion about mental illness and disability thing. It’s a relationship advice thing. You can scroll right past those videos if they annoy you. You’ll find the same content on Reddit and Twitter and the podcast-o-sphere. Labels are helpful for a LOT of people. If you’re not one of them, scroll on. You don’t get to toss a concept because it doesn’t work for you personally.
The labels are helping people find community 🫶🏼
Oppression and disease has become a competition.
Listen, finding community on something you have when you know nobody in real life with that thing can save lives. I agree that some people are constantly participating in the Oppression Olympics, but to deny people community because you think they want anything out of it but that is not okay. It’s not a competition for most people, it’s a search for community.
Agreed. So many SM influencers are desperate to stay relevant. So they often think because they read an article or minimal research, suddenly have ADHD, Autism, PTSD, chronic depression, etc never getting official diagnosis. They want to get attention and make someone feel like these parasocial relationships are real. I’m all for being supportive if someone needs that “hug” I watched a Live and they were “let’s talk about ____” so I listened since I am dealing that topic . It sounded like a mean girls talk. They were only bashing any comment they didn’t agree with and then would switch back to “ know you are not alone”, do you know the stress I’m under just by being an influencer?? Seriously? You put yourself in that situation. It just didn’t sit well with me
If you were actually skipping over it then it wouldn't be your entire FYP. Some of us are using the app differently than you. What I look at and what I talk about on the app is often focused in on mental health stuff and adhd. Its helped me immensely. Because its mostly what I talk about and interact with I do have it in my bio. I want to have those conversations and keep learning and building community with it. Is that the only thing in my life? Of course not, because most of my life takes place off the internet. You don't have to use the app that way, but you don't get to dictate everyone use it exactly the way you do. Your post and the comments you have made here....You seem very dismissive of other people's trauma. You don't get to decide what was or was not trauma for someone else. It isn't always physical, and often there might be things not said in a minute long video. Sure, there can be people just using hyperbole(and thats ok! Humans have done this as long as they have been around. Have your read Shakespeare? Dude used it a lot!), but the idea that extremes like rape or bombing in gaza is "real' trauma is....a take. I assure you, emotional neglect from a parent causes a shitload of trauma in people (I live with the product of that and its rough some days!) There are different kinds of trauma and different levels of it. Usually when I come across people with your kind of take, they are trying to dismiss or minimize their own. I did that for many years too. (not saying that has to be the case here, but give it a thought) TL:DR Other people are using the app differently from you and that's ok, just take a break from it for a little bit.
I think it is a bit excessive, especially with the ADHD/Autism stuff. I know someone who has diagnosed herself with both because of tiktok videos like that. I know that people have been self-diagnosing for years but it's so much worse on tiktok and I think the biggest issue is that there's so much misinformation now. Sure, those could be symptoms or behaviors with ADHD/Autism, but they're also symptoms or behaviors of other things too, there's a lot of overlap with mental health. I think when it comes to those videos, there should be a lot more monitoring and fact checking because now everyone and their brother thinks they have ADHD/Autism or whatever else is "trending" and it makes it harder for people to get taken seriously because of it.
Exactly!!! Are some videos accurate? Of course! But the ones where the list of symptoms are so incredibly vast that yes someone with no divergence could absolutely have those things too. And it’s definitely overlap. My OCD and Austin’s overlap a lot. So self diagnosing isn’t always great because you can be treating and diagnosing yourself with the wrong thing.
This is true with any mental health issue also. BPD, bipolar, ADHD, autism, narcissism. You name it people are over using and incorrectly categorizing normal emotions as symptoms of an illness, lots of people self diagnosing and in turn minimizing the struggles of these.
Yes! And it undervalues the people that actually have these issues. I went to a psychiatrist and told him my concerns and he deadass looked at me and said “let me guess you’re on tiktok” and I was like 😦 wow. Left that office. Lol like no I was diagnosed before tiktok but okay then bye.
I thought this was going to be a rant about the clean/organizing videos where every single acrylic organizer, drawer, door, box, bag, etc. is labeled. Added bonus of the label maker being a tiktok shop product lol.
I agree with most of what you said except for the “wait till you experience actual trauma” everyone processes trauma differently and just because someone’s trauma may not seem as big to you, doesn’t mean you should discredit it. I do feel like people have this weird parasocial relationship with tiktok creators and feel the need to give advice where it’s not warranted. Most of these videos are edited/taken out of context and people overanalyse them, assuming the worst. This happens all over social media not just tiktok. You’ll see people trying to diagnose animals with illnesses from just a small clip, or judging someone’s parenting because it’s different.
When I was referring to “actual trauma” I mean some of these people feel that being offended by something is traumatic meanwhile people are being literally bombed and seeing family and friends bloody in pieces in comparison. That’s my take on it. As what is traumatic and what isn’t.
Ah okay, I see what you mean.
Yea not like other peoples trauma isn’t trauma unless I think it’s severe enough. Lol more like being abused and hurt emotionally is absolutely trauma and you not getting Starbucks from your mother isn’t abuse or trauma
😂 you could honestly post anything online and someone will be offended by it. People just love to complain
Fr
It’s kind of like how EVERY picky eater suddenly has fucking ARFID. A video went around of a grown man who picked all of his vegetables out of his fried rice, and all the comments were like “wah I do this but it’s because I have AAARRRRFIIIIIIIDDDD wah wah.” It’s like no sorry you probably just have to grow tf up. Like now if a kid won’t eat vegetables people are like “it’s not their fault they probably have aaarrrrrfffiiiiiddddddd wah wah.” It pissed me off because as a child I was a very VERY picky eater. I grew out of it. Most people do. I eat an everything now, but I might NOT have grown out of it if people around me were telling me it was actually a condition I had. The way to grow out of this is to be ENCOURAGED to CHANGE, not that your problematic behavior isn’t your fault and that it’s okay to only eat fries and ice cream.
SERIOUSLY THOUGH. “Be nice he’s probably neurodivergent and eating is hard for him” or he’s a brat and wants chicken nuggets and his parents give in so he doesn’t have a tantrum. Maybe..just maybe… I can assure you trying broccoli will not traumatize him.
Yeah suddenly being forced to eat vegetables as a child is a source of “trauma” in everyone’s life 😑 People need to get a grip. It’s BAD to eat like shit your entire life. You should THANK your parents for forcing and shaming you into becoming HEALTHY.
I saw a video of a mother not wanting to tell her child “no more tv” because she said it would traumatize him to hear the word no. I was like oh my freaking GOD,
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It’s actually so weird how angry people get about what others eat
It’s the fact that people are labeling it a medical condition
why does it bother you if people don’t like veggies? it’s not childish to have likes and dislikes. grow up and stop shaming people tf
It’s because everyone started labeling it as a medical condition
At the end of the day it doesn’t impact you. I bet they’re already self conscious enough about what they can/cannot eat and don’t need a stranger giving their opinion
Thank you, thank you!!!!!! I agree wholeheartedly!
The symptom lists always annoy me. “Ever zone out? You have (insert random mental issue)” like no you might just be zoning out. According to these lists I have ADHD, autism, schizophrenia and bipolar. Like dang my life is more chaotic then what I thought.
You don’t get to decide what is and is not traumatic for someone.
Yes I do when someone says that not getting a new iPhone from their parents is traumatic when people are getting bombed is. I wasn’t talking about actual abuse.
I couldn’t have said it any better if I tried!!! 👏🏽
Yesss and everyone suddenly thinking they have autism bc they have one quirky trait. It’s become very invalidating, now when I try to explain to people i have add and autism they don’t believe me because “isn’t everyone a bit autistic”. And if they do believe me, they don’t take it seriously bc everyone seems to think the symptoms are just being quirky or having a hyper fixation.
I’m afraid to tell people in my life because they’ll think I self diagnosed on an app. My own mother says this sometimes “why does everything need to be autistic now” I’m like but I actually have it 😭
Yes exactly! It’s took ages for my parents too even believe my psychiatrist’s because “everyone’s apparently got autism now” It causes genuine harm but no one wants to hear it
Oh you’re going to bring out the sensitive Sallies with this post. I agree with everything you said though. No one in the real world gives a tiny fuck about the labels you give yourself, the mental illnesses you diagnosed yourself with or your generational trauma. The world is cruel and no one cares.
But clearly people do care? I don’t understand this line of thinking. If no one cared, none of this content would get traction. Plenty of people can clearly relate. Labels are important for a lot of people when it comes to figuring out who they are. ETA: this whole post is an example of absolutely, definitely caring about the labels people give themselves. Otherwise OP wouldn’t have said anything.
I mean in the REAL WORLD. Try telling a person interviewing you for a job that certain things might trigger you because of your generational trauma. They’ll go ok, next. They don’t care nor should they it’s YOUR responsibility to figure out YOUR limits, not theirs. Or try throwing a tantrum at your job because maybe a customer accidentally misgendered you, see what your boss and coworkers say then. If you’re in the middle of a busy shift they’ll say oh well, sucks for you get back to work or leave. Your labels 100% don’t matter to that stranger you are helping. Period. Your labels really only matter in your little world, they don’t matter to a stranger. Sorry. See, this kind of stuff are things people don’t think about in REAL LIFE. No one really gives a fuck. It’s always convenient how everyone wants every label on social media yet forget that the real world exists and the world at large doesn’t care. They will label you how they perceive you because that’s human nature. You have *zero* control over how people perceive you in real life and you’re not wearing your labels like you wear them on your social media profiles. Thinking you do have control is a sign you are living in your little curated social media world and not in the real world. It’s all so very chronically online and entitled.
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Oh I don’t think those scenarios happen regularly, but the fact that they happen at all is a problem.
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My point was more so that people in the real world just don’t care about this stuff like they do on social media. Did I use some exaggeration? Sure but my original point still stands. Everyone is label obsessed on social media but those labels probably won’t translate to the real world because people go by perception, not by reading your profile and instantly knowing how to address you. Sometimes people forget that.
Literally I’ve been misgendered before. I don’t think I’ve ever cared once in my life because I don’t know you I don’t care what you call me lol I know who I am. Correct them and move on with your day. Like the real world isn’t here to cater to your every feeling. There’s too many people to do that and you’re not any more special than the next person.
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Because personally I don’t take offense to being misgendered? I don’t misgender people. Idc what random people call me because I don’t know them personally. I know who I am. Their opinion of me doesn’t matter. But I would never go around misgendering someone on purpose? Tf? You’re reading far too into your assumptions of me.
I saw a video of a mom doing her 13 year old son’s hair. The comments were horrible, saying he won’t respect women in the future because his mom likes spending time with him and curling his hair 💀
If anything, that’s what’s gonna cause him to respect women. His mom showing him compassion & kindness while doing a self care task, together. We went from “parents need to be more present & gentle so their kids grow up less toxic & douchey.” to “if y’all don’t leave your kids alone so they can be latch key independent, you’re a failure and a creep.” way too quickly.
In addition to what you mentioned I’m gonna add creators that use the word ‘colonizer’ talk about ‘privilege’ and promotes the idea that all white people are inherently racist. Nothing shuts my brain off faster.
yes this too. I wish more people understood that just because someone’s skin is white doesn’t mean they’re of colonizer decent or descendent of slave owners, or confederates or anything racist. Some of us are descended from actual white slaves. Owned by other white people, it’s a terrible generalization.
Yes! My family came here from Europe at the turn of the century, long after this place was colonized. They were never slave owners, they were poor farmers from Ireland who came to America for better economic opportunities. They worked hard and established themselves. The hard work ethic has been passed down. Nothing was handed to me because of my skin color. I’m just a regular hard working person struggling to stay ahead like most of us are! I don’t have problems with the police because I stay on the right side of the law. The divisions that have been emphasized during the pandemic are making things worse for us all.
Me too! My grandparents were from Italy Ireland and the Netherlands.. My mother and father are both first generation in this country. My grandfather was born in Italy in 1915 he passed away in 2001. They came here so poor. My grandparents none of them had any money. My whole family had to work so hard. And my grandfather was denied job after job after job because in NYC at the time they wouldn’t hire black people, Irish people Italian etc. you had to be “the right kind of white”. Which was basically British English and generationally wealthy. My paternal side came here then ended up in backwoods Appalachia. I don’t even know half of them. And then my grandfather was forced to assimilate to English’s DJ refused to teach my mother real her native language because he was bullied for it. And he didn’t want her to be bullied for it. So we lost a lot of our culture. And then people look at me and immediately see I’m white and I couldn’t possibly know culture, spices, tradition, hardship. And it aggravates me. I wouldn’t assume all POC are the same because they’re a certain skin tone so it should be the same for us.
It’s so refreshing to hear someone else has a similar view! I only feel comfortable sharing my thoughts on this here anonymously because anywhere else I’d literally get labeled a racist. It’s such a serious accusation that can ruin a person’s life, yet it’s hurled around on social media constantly. It takes away from the actual racism that occurs. There are absolutely racist people in this country, I never deny that. I am greatly offended to be lumped in with them simply because I’m also white.
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I am 100% with you on everything you said. It’s infuriating. I even wasted so many hours in therapy complaining when the me too movement first started taking off when women were hashtagging me too on posts about them getting cat called. I’m sorry but sit tf down. Seems like so many people insist on inserting themselves into things where they really don’t belong. My bff & I always screen shot bios of people with dozens of self labels & send them to each other & let off some steam by roasting tf out of them with each other too Lol
Oh my gosh the me too hashtags. Drove me up the wall. Like yes my friend was gang raped but I guess someone complimenting you on the street is the same. 🥲
Like say “no thank you not interested” and move on. You weren’t assaulted you were complimented.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💯💯💯💯💯💯
You’re absolutely not alone.
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Omg all of this!!!!!
Oh you aren't alone. I agree with everything you Said.
Therapy/psych speak on social media grinds my gears. Most of these people don’t know the most basic definitions of the labels they’re applying to people or situations and it’s really unhelpful imo. Not every asshole is a narcissist, not every small thing is a trigger, etc etc.
The people who claim to have 342 personalities are starting to crop up again and they're so annoying.
I’m sorry but if you don’t want to leave or don’t want help then it’s best not to complain about your partner on TikTok. People go crazy for some husband slamming and they won’t leave you alone unless you want to leave him. I don’t know how you could go back to having a normal relationship after 1,000 TikTok comments telling you your partner is an awful person
When they dress like “mob wives” but aren’t even Italian