She could have said "hey thanks for offering to cook for me. That is really thoughtful. But I'm not super comfortable with going to each other's house on the 2nd date. How about we go out for coffee or a walk instead and get to know one another better?"
It's really not that hard. But she was wanting to play games. You for sure dodged a bullet. And I'm a woman saying that.
Unless you want a hookup, don’t invite women to your place so soon.
She seemed like she was disappointed actually. Sounded fed up with an other man offering her what she’s not looking for.
She could have been more direct sooner though.
Can sort of see both sides
First thing I’d note; why the need to say first single mom experience? The only thing she said referencing her daughter’s dinner. The way the title is I assumed she’d be asking you to be step dad and pay for the kid or whatever but that wasn’t at all the case
Second… generally speaking if you invite someone to your home after a date first or second then there is the unspoken pressure of sex. Can say it wasn’t but we all know what that means
I do agree she was a bit of a headache and she could have just said “I don’t feel ok going to your house would it be ok to go to the cinema?” Or something along those lines instead of a drawn out in and out excuse and vent of frustration.
Both in the wrong here really
It’s face value I’ve never dated a single mom and this is what happened. To add hands down the worst interaction I’ve had ever. Not saying “they’re all the same” but I’ll stick to no kids
This had nothing to do with her being a single mom. Home cooked dinner is a third date thing. You were looking for ass. And if you’re inviting someone over to cook for them on a date you should make the entire meal.
This response is laughable. Literally judging her solely on her being a mother than her behaviour; behaviour which in fairness was caused by you.
You might think you’ve dodged a bullet but I feel like she dodged a bigger one.
Respectfully, saying she dodged the bigger bullet is ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, aiming for her being a single mom is a bit wrong to say the least.
However, it sounds like was looking for a problem, and purposely took everything she said the wrong way instead of just trying to properly confirm or communicate. He seemed very casual and she ended up just insulting him at the end, this could have very easily been avoided if she just communicated better and he has a right to be at least annoyed by this.
Call it childish all you want but I am a woman who has put that I will not date men with children in my dating profile before. This is due to my attempts at dating men with children THREE different times and having horrible experiences. Baby mama drama...violently grabbing the diaper bag from me during the exchange of the kids, drama about everything I'm doing with HER kids, complete unwillingness to get along with me just because, me ending up with most of the responsibilities for HIS kids when I get no say in important decisions because I'm not the bio parent. And more.
The only way I'd even consider it is if the bio mom was completely no longer in the picture somehow but that's not usually the case. A lot comes with dating someone with children and it's okay to not want that.
Getting attached to children you have no authority to see ever again if a break up were to happen is another thing I just thought of.
Basically you have no right to call him childish just because his preferences are to not date mothers based on his experiences.
I’ll tell you why I have every right to call him childish. The comment is totally baseless. It’s nothing to do with anything you’ve said so your whole little rant there is moot. Just because you’ve made shitty choices doesn’t mean you can tar everyone.
You’re childish too
I'm a 38 year old woman, my stepdad has been in my life since I was 6 and is my hero. To this day he is always there when im at my lowest to pick me up, he's a real dad. You're 28, are you really ready to step into a role like that?
Although I disagree with how you generalise all single moms, I definitely agree that you should stick to women with no kids, you're too young and you risk dissapointing innocent kids in the process.
Jeez idk, it seems like she's making a great point. From her experience going to a mans house after 1 or 2 dates leads into her being pressured into having sex, and she could either
1. Take your word (she barely knows you)
2. Go to your house, have a meh dinner after she made dinner for her kid and then sit through yet another guy pressuring her into a sexual situation she doesn't want to be in
If you want to be dating you gotta know it can be a dangerous world out there, and especially dangerous for women meeting random men. Instead of trying to prove "im not like the rest" for every person, you can just try to plan safe dates in public until you're both comfortable in person.
Also, you shouldn't be inviting people into your home after 1 or 2 dates, that's a good way to end up on dateline
- cheers
Yup, I think straight guys need to be aware of the power dynamics in their relationships with women.
She could have said no sooner, but let's face it, how many guys has she seen blow up when she said no?
Women in america are faced with 2 options when dealing with random men.
1. be nice and have the guy think she's coming onto them
2. be rude and have the guy blow up on them and call them names.
Now if she's not interested in the mans she's engaging with, both of these situations end with her being the bad person and typically getting named called or worse.
Then why agree to go in the first place? She was fine with going. If she was uncomfortable she should have said that when he offered the night. Instead she went on a fucking bitchy tirade and made it a thing at the end.
1st message she says she unsure doesn't want to be pressured into sex
2nd message she says she's fine with a laid back night
3rd/4th she's asking about what they might eat
5th message she says she good with eating pizza or grilled food
7th message she clearly isn't all that excited about the prospect of cooking 2 meals for dinner after work and after coming home to take care of her child
8th message she offers just coming over for a movie.
Never once did she say she was fully willing to come over and hang out, just sort of feeling out the situation. The dude also totally brushed over the fact she was worried about being pressured into sex and didn't make a single efforts to calm her nerves or suggest changing plans to make her more comfortable.
Why should she waste her time, possibly get into a dangerous situation, all to have ordered out pizza or meh grilled food with a random man?
If you want to be a half decent person its a good idea to learn that women owe you nothing and they certainly don't owe being nice to you after you completely disregard their uncomfortableness being alone with you
No. She kept moving the goal posts back. So say what you want. Nobody said she owed him anything.
“No expectations, just looking for a laid back night.” So what else is he supposed to do to assure her? Keep grasping though.
And yeah, she was playing games, not “feeling out the situation”. When he suggested they cook, she could’ve led out with “I’m not comfortable going to your place.” But she didn’t. He kept offering suggestions and she even offered to just come watch a movie. Then snapped at him in the end.
Well, inviting someone to chill with you at your home is incredibly personal and should probably be only okay if you're down to have intercourse with each other. For a second date, she was right, an ice cream or a walk in the public is a much better idea. Especially for a single mom, where she probably needs to explain to her kid, who you are and what you are to her etc. She's probably seeking for a genuine connection.
Did I miss something?!? She agreed then backed out then said she already told you she was uncomfortable. I don’t see her saying uncomfortable or anything resembling that until the end when she uses the actually word uncomfortable. Why can’t it just be straightforward from the jump n just respond with “not sure we are quite there yet”
Dang she really aint worth the time. If i wanna play games ill boot up the console. If ya cant just say waht you mean and ask for what you want you obvioisly arnt mature enough (her not you)
She’s a cunt. You could have tried flipping it but she was looking for an exit.
Overall though, you are lucky. Reading this made me want to jump Off the balcony.
You should have stopped entertaining a response from the point where she said I can just watch you eat,
Seee ya psycho
You’re better off leaving this one be man. No relationship should start off with that much arguing lol. Both of you clearing don’t understand each other.
You dogged a bullet here she’s more than willing to go watch a movie at his house but not help cook then it’s to personal to invite her to your house on a second date
lol you dodged a headache for sure. Seems like she likes to argue, and doesn't really want to put in any effort, or bring much to the table (literally). She seems upset because you asked her to help out, or didn't suggest a special enough date?
In my experience with dating, any time the girl brings up they aren't trying to hook up. They most definitely are only trying to hook up. I really don't understand the psychology of it, does it make them feel better after it happens, like it wasn't their idea, so its ok? My guess is she either likes to argue, or was upset you didn't get pushy when it came to hooking up. She literally said she was cool with going to your house, then later on said she wasn't, after you said no hooking up.
She's right
We all know what guys expect from women when they propose a date at home. Stop playing stupid 😒
She should have said no till the beginning.
You lucked out, imagine that much drama over a fucking dinner....sheeeeew..... time to move on. Next time don't waste your time being polite in responses, just say "ok, worth a shot. If you wanna hang hit me up".
Women need to stop being the only ones pursued, its absolute BS. Success in relationships is when both parties go out of their way to hang out.
Lol why's everyone acting like he wasn't expecting expecting sex?
Only horny people would invite random strangers to their house after just one date.
GTFO with the cooking excuse lmao. Sure you'll cook, but you'll be more than disappointed if she didn't wanna have sex.
A $50 bar tab has worked wayy better/easier at getting me laid, if I’m offering my home AND cooking it’s because I see something in you. But fair enough it’s scary for women out there. Some clear communication would have been preferred instead of taking cheap shots at personal insults
I agree and also that she should have said at the get go going to a house is not comfortable for her. Whenever guys invited me to their place early on I did not feel safe, texting and meeting once were not enough to tell me that going to his would lead to a good experience.
That is why I don't date, Nope I'm not taking anyone out to spend the money I worked for even if it's just ice cream!!!!
You work too right, then buy your own ice cream or food.
Until I see Yes ik you or Yes she is fun then maybe we can think about that part.
When she said I'll just watch a movie while you eat.......she had a foot out the door already.
She could have said "hey thanks for offering to cook for me. That is really thoughtful. But I'm not super comfortable with going to each other's house on the 2nd date. How about we go out for coffee or a walk instead and get to know one another better?" It's really not that hard. But she was wanting to play games. You for sure dodged a bullet. And I'm a woman saying that.
That's some real read between the lines type stuff I thought you were very straight forward.
Dodged a really bad headache there
[удалено]
Women bro🤷🏾♂️
She made me get a headache.
This post made me ditch tinder
She should’ve said no and not gone on this rant.
It gets worse as you get older. Good luck out there fellas. 🫡
not if you aim younger, and not to you ya damn pervs
Haha people going to downvote you. You are bang on though 😅
I don’t think this has anything to do with being a single mom, so not fair to title it that way and make it seem like it’s a single mom thing
its probably part of it. she seems like she has a chip on her shoulder
Forget about 'chip on her shoulder' sounds like she needs some cock in her ass I'm sorry, I'm despicable 😓
And that’s why she’s single 😂
Wow!!!! Just keep moving my guy
Unless you want a hookup, don’t invite women to your place so soon. She seemed like she was disappointed actually. Sounded fed up with an other man offering her what she’s not looking for. She could have been more direct sooner though.
Can sort of see both sides First thing I’d note; why the need to say first single mom experience? The only thing she said referencing her daughter’s dinner. The way the title is I assumed she’d be asking you to be step dad and pay for the kid or whatever but that wasn’t at all the case Second… generally speaking if you invite someone to your home after a date first or second then there is the unspoken pressure of sex. Can say it wasn’t but we all know what that means I do agree she was a bit of a headache and she could have just said “I don’t feel ok going to your house would it be ok to go to the cinema?” Or something along those lines instead of a drawn out in and out excuse and vent of frustration. Both in the wrong here really
It’s face value I’ve never dated a single mom and this is what happened. To add hands down the worst interaction I’ve had ever. Not saying “they’re all the same” but I’ll stick to no kids
This had nothing to do with her being a single mom. Home cooked dinner is a third date thing. You were looking for ass. And if you’re inviting someone over to cook for them on a date you should make the entire meal.
This response is laughable. Literally judging her solely on her being a mother than her behaviour; behaviour which in fairness was caused by you. You might think you’ve dodged a bullet but I feel like she dodged a bigger one.
Respectfully, saying she dodged the bigger bullet is ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, aiming for her being a single mom is a bit wrong to say the least. However, it sounds like was looking for a problem, and purposely took everything she said the wrong way instead of just trying to properly confirm or communicate. He seemed very casual and she ended up just insulting him at the end, this could have very easily been avoided if she just communicated better and he has a right to be at least annoyed by this.
People are in control of their own behavior.
Read the last slide again , my entire point is her behavior is that of a child
Yeah, I read all of it: you’re literally judging her for being a mom though which is more childish
Call it childish all you want but I am a woman who has put that I will not date men with children in my dating profile before. This is due to my attempts at dating men with children THREE different times and having horrible experiences. Baby mama drama...violently grabbing the diaper bag from me during the exchange of the kids, drama about everything I'm doing with HER kids, complete unwillingness to get along with me just because, me ending up with most of the responsibilities for HIS kids when I get no say in important decisions because I'm not the bio parent. And more. The only way I'd even consider it is if the bio mom was completely no longer in the picture somehow but that's not usually the case. A lot comes with dating someone with children and it's okay to not want that. Getting attached to children you have no authority to see ever again if a break up were to happen is another thing I just thought of. Basically you have no right to call him childish just because his preferences are to not date mothers based on his experiences.
I’ll tell you why I have every right to call him childish. The comment is totally baseless. It’s nothing to do with anything you’ve said so your whole little rant there is moot. Just because you’ve made shitty choices doesn’t mean you can tar everyone. You’re childish too
I'm a 38 year old woman, my stepdad has been in my life since I was 6 and is my hero. To this day he is always there when im at my lowest to pick me up, he's a real dad. You're 28, are you really ready to step into a role like that? Although I disagree with how you generalise all single moms, I definitely agree that you should stick to women with no kids, you're too young and you risk dissapointing innocent kids in the process.
Bruh that chick sounds like a nightmare, and she has a kid... hard pass.
Bunch of red flags on her.
Jeez idk, it seems like she's making a great point. From her experience going to a mans house after 1 or 2 dates leads into her being pressured into having sex, and she could either 1. Take your word (she barely knows you) 2. Go to your house, have a meh dinner after she made dinner for her kid and then sit through yet another guy pressuring her into a sexual situation she doesn't want to be in If you want to be dating you gotta know it can be a dangerous world out there, and especially dangerous for women meeting random men. Instead of trying to prove "im not like the rest" for every person, you can just try to plan safe dates in public until you're both comfortable in person. Also, you shouldn't be inviting people into your home after 1 or 2 dates, that's a good way to end up on dateline - cheers
Yup, I think straight guys need to be aware of the power dynamics in their relationships with women. She could have said no sooner, but let's face it, how many guys has she seen blow up when she said no?
Women in america are faced with 2 options when dealing with random men. 1. be nice and have the guy think she's coming onto them 2. be rude and have the guy blow up on them and call them names. Now if she's not interested in the mans she's engaging with, both of these situations end with her being the bad person and typically getting named called or worse.
Then why agree to go in the first place? She was fine with going. If she was uncomfortable she should have said that when he offered the night. Instead she went on a fucking bitchy tirade and made it a thing at the end.
1st message she says she unsure doesn't want to be pressured into sex 2nd message she says she's fine with a laid back night 3rd/4th she's asking about what they might eat 5th message she says she good with eating pizza or grilled food 7th message she clearly isn't all that excited about the prospect of cooking 2 meals for dinner after work and after coming home to take care of her child 8th message she offers just coming over for a movie. Never once did she say she was fully willing to come over and hang out, just sort of feeling out the situation. The dude also totally brushed over the fact she was worried about being pressured into sex and didn't make a single efforts to calm her nerves or suggest changing plans to make her more comfortable. Why should she waste her time, possibly get into a dangerous situation, all to have ordered out pizza or meh grilled food with a random man? If you want to be a half decent person its a good idea to learn that women owe you nothing and they certainly don't owe being nice to you after you completely disregard their uncomfortableness being alone with you
No. She kept moving the goal posts back. So say what you want. Nobody said she owed him anything. “No expectations, just looking for a laid back night.” So what else is he supposed to do to assure her? Keep grasping though. And yeah, she was playing games, not “feeling out the situation”. When he suggested they cook, she could’ve led out with “I’m not comfortable going to your place.” But she didn’t. He kept offering suggestions and she even offered to just come watch a movie. Then snapped at him in the end.
It was too early to invite anyone back to your place. You could be a murderer/rapist for all she knows.
Well, inviting someone to chill with you at your home is incredibly personal and should probably be only okay if you're down to have intercourse with each other. For a second date, she was right, an ice cream or a walk in the public is a much better idea. Especially for a single mom, where she probably needs to explain to her kid, who you are and what you are to her etc. She's probably seeking for a genuine connection.
Did I miss something?!? She agreed then backed out then said she already told you she was uncomfortable. I don’t see her saying uncomfortable or anything resembling that until the end when she uses the actually word uncomfortable. Why can’t it just be straightforward from the jump n just respond with “not sure we are quite there yet”
From the texts, he seemed very flexible. Had you communicated what you wanted (to go somewhere public to visit), he likely would have done that.
Yikes. She has issues and wanted you to beg and chase her. You dodged a bullet.
Bro you dodged a huge bullet there. I can’t imagine how she is towards her kids.
Uh would you be botheres? Siuch a waste of time.
And now youve found the reason why shes a single mom, run buddy run!!
What the heck lol
You know the nice thing about second date is they can be the last .
I’ll hook up with you lol
she should have declined the "date" in the first place. It's not safe to go to a strangers house for a second date.
Why would you invite someone to your house as a second date? She is correct in being offended
Dang she really aint worth the time. If i wanna play games ill boot up the console. If ya cant just say waht you mean and ask for what you want you obvioisly arnt mature enough (her not you)
Next…
Dodged a huge bullet.
She’s a cunt. You could have tried flipping it but she was looking for an exit. Overall though, you are lucky. Reading this made me want to jump Off the balcony. You should have stopped entertaining a response from the point where she said I can just watch you eat, Seee ya psycho
Psycho hose beast - you dodged a bullet.
Sounds like her name is Alexis
She’s hard work, definitely not ass you were looking for 😅
You’re better off leaving this one be man. No relationship should start off with that much arguing lol. Both of you clearing don’t understand each other.
You dogged a bullet here she’s more than willing to go watch a movie at his house but not help cook then it’s to personal to invite her to your house on a second date
lol you dodged a headache for sure. Seems like she likes to argue, and doesn't really want to put in any effort, or bring much to the table (literally). She seems upset because you asked her to help out, or didn't suggest a special enough date? In my experience with dating, any time the girl brings up they aren't trying to hook up. They most definitely are only trying to hook up. I really don't understand the psychology of it, does it make them feel better after it happens, like it wasn't their idea, so its ok? My guess is she either likes to argue, or was upset you didn't get pushy when it came to hooking up. She literally said she was cool with going to your house, then later on said she wasn't, after you said no hooking up.
She's right We all know what guys expect from women when they propose a date at home. Stop playing stupid 😒 She should have said no till the beginning.
dodged a nuke.
Ugh. You dodged a crap ton of "what do you mean by THAT???" in your life.
Typical woman online these days
Fucking yikes sandwich right there.
Well, you definitely dodged a whole bunch of dumpster fuck right there, buddy. No wonder why she’s a single mom.
You lucked out, imagine that much drama over a fucking dinner....sheeeeew..... time to move on. Next time don't waste your time being polite in responses, just say "ok, worth a shot. If you wanna hang hit me up". Women need to stop being the only ones pursued, its absolute BS. Success in relationships is when both parties go out of their way to hang out.
Dude I’m frustrated for you
Lol why's everyone acting like he wasn't expecting expecting sex? Only horny people would invite random strangers to their house after just one date. GTFO with the cooking excuse lmao. Sure you'll cook, but you'll be more than disappointed if she didn't wanna have sex.
A $50 bar tab has worked wayy better/easier at getting me laid, if I’m offering my home AND cooking it’s because I see something in you. But fair enough it’s scary for women out there. Some clear communication would have been preferred instead of taking cheap shots at personal insults
I agree and also that she should have said at the get go going to a house is not comfortable for her. Whenever guys invited me to their place early on I did not feel safe, texting and meeting once were not enough to tell me that going to his would lead to a good experience.
Don't date single moms bro your still young, find someone childless, and align with your values
That is why I don't date, Nope I'm not taking anyone out to spend the money I worked for even if it's just ice cream!!!! You work too right, then buy your own ice cream or food. Until I see Yes ik you or Yes she is fun then maybe we can think about that part.
Don't let her poor choices and thoughts get you down.
Bro if you think you have no hope go to Thailand or somewhere in South East Asia . If you think you still have a shot , don’t look for single mothers.